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1
00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:25,792
I love London.
2
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:29,917
I love its rudeness, its lack
of community, its impatience.
3
00:00:30,166 --> 00:00:31,875
I even love its weather.
4
00:00:34,291 --> 00:00:38,792
But most of all
I love the anonymity.
5
00:00:38,792 --> 00:00:43,041
The first thing you should know
about me is that I'm a whore.
6
00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:50,250
In a world of children
in bikinis and grandmothers
in fuck-me boots,
7
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,500
the surest way
to tell a prostitute
8
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:55,375
is to look for the
woman in the designer suit.
9
00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:57,333
Locate the lifts.
Glide past reception.
10
00:00:57,333 --> 00:01:00,667
Look like
you know where you're going.
11
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:03,041
Walk quickly. Don't attract
too much attention.
12
00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:05,542
Be fabulous but forgettable.
13
00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:08,375
You should also know
that this isn't the real me.
14
00:01:58,125 --> 00:02:00,291
Morning.
15
00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:06,583
Escort, hooker,
prostitute, whore -
16
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:10,166
I don't mind what you call me.
That's just semantics.
17
00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:19,000
There are as many different
kinds of working girls as there
are kinds of people,
18
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:22,083
so you can't generalize.
19
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,667
But I can tell you about me.
20
00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:28,166
I should say up front that
I wasn't abused by a relative,
21
00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:30,417
I've got no children to support,
22
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:33,667
and I've never been
addicted to anything.
23
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:36,250
Except for maybe the fourth
season of The West Wing,
24
00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:38,166
but... you know.
25
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,667
I'm very high class.
26
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:46,125
Which means I charge by
the hour, and I charge a lot.
27
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,291
So why do I do it?
28
00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:52,709
Well, I love sex
and I love money.
29
00:02:52,709 --> 00:02:56,125
And I know you don't believe
I enjoy the sex, but I do.
30
00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:58,458
Plus I'm fundamentally lazy.
31
00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:01,291
What I really like
is being my own boss.
32
00:03:01,291 --> 00:03:03,625
Well, pretty much my own boss.
33
00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:06,375
Obviously I have an agent.
She vets all my clients.
34
00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:10,125
Two lovely new gentlemen
for you today.
35
00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:13,000
OK.
An out call for this evening
and an in call this afternoon.
36
00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:15,458
When?
Two o'clock.
37
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:17,208
It's half one now.
38
00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:19,542
Is it?
39
00:03:19,542 --> 00:03:22,709
Yes. You know I need
at least an hour's notice.
40
00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:26,625
Well, shit, shower and shave,
sweetheart. He's on his way over
now.
41
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:52,166
I have certain rules. Rule one -
keep life and job separate.
42
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,166
Personal. Work.
43
00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:56,333
Private.
44
00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,583
Professional.
45
00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:05,333
Hannah. Belle. And never
the twain shall meet.
46
00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,625
Rule number two -
stay in control.
47
00:04:11,625 --> 00:04:16,208
They sit down, I stand up.
Get the money first.
48
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:23,250
Yeah, I'll call after.
49
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:26,792
No problem.
All right, bye.
50
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:29,709
Rule three - safety. Always
check in with the agency.
51
00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:32,417
So if I say "no problemo"
instead of "no problem,"
52
00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:35,041
there's a problem.
53
00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:39,583
Everything you need's in here.
54
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:47,208
Rule four - hygiene.
Mine and his.
55
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,417
I always use men's deodorant.
56
00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:56,000
I never wear perfume.
57
00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:00,417
A professional never lets her
client leave smelling of woman.
58
00:05:04,917 --> 00:05:08,333
Convince them that you're wet
and you're halfway there.
59
00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,417
Goes without saying.
60
00:05:12,417 --> 00:05:15,750
And last
but definitely not least,
61
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:19,417
work out what the client wants
as fast as you can,
62
00:05:19,417 --> 00:05:21,750
and give it to him.
63
00:05:26,417 --> 00:05:28,917
Come with me.
64
00:05:36,542 --> 00:05:39,333
Tell me something
you fantasize about.
65
00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:41,625
What do you mean?
66
00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:45,125
Something that turns you on.
67
00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:47,959
This.
68
00:05:47,959 --> 00:05:52,041
Where are we doing this?
Where would you like to fuck me?
69
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:53,959
Oh!
70
00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:58,375
Outside?
71
00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:00,333
Oh, in an alleyway?
72
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:03,166
In a dirty alley?
73
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:06,250
Um... OK.
74
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,500
On a beach?
75
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,208
Um...
76
00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:12,166
In a field?
77
00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:14,458
On a farm?
78
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,667
Ah.
79
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,834
A field on the farm.
I'm a country girl.
80
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:25,166
You're a farmer
or a stable boy that seduced me.
81
00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:28,709
Ohh! Oh!
82
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:31,291
Can you see the stables?
Yeah, course I can.
83
00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:33,834
Can you smell the horses?
84
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,500
I can smell the horses. They're
making noises in their stalls.
85
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:38,542
They're getting very excited.
Ohh!
86
00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:40,250
Horses have giant cocks,
don't they?
87
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,583
Oh, yes.
Yes, they do.
88
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:44,667
Maybe you should
take me to the stable.
89
00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:46,750
Don't fuck the horse!
90
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,667
No, I'm only bringing it close.
It's too big.
91
00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,500
Ohh! What's it doing?
The horse?
92
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,417
A stallion.
It's out of control.
93
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:58,750
It's far too big.
94
00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,291
Sounds like it's gonna
break the stall door.
95
00:07:00,542 --> 00:07:02,333
They're powerful horses!
96
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:06,458
Very... powerful... horse.
97
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:39,166
I tell everyone I'm a legal
secretary for one of those huge
international law firms.
98
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,792
You know, the ones
that need staff at night
to meet contract deadlines.
99
00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:46,125
It's so boring, no one
ever asks me about it.
100
00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:49,625
I can't even tell my best friend
Ben what I do for a living.
101
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:52,750
Best custard tart in London,
that.
102
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:55,625
See the crust? That's not
a machine, that's handmade.
103
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:56,667
I thought Vanessa
had you on a diet.
104
00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,625
She does.
I'm living on fucking tofu.
105
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:01,000
But I'm eating leftovers
at the club.
106
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:03,417
You've been much fatter than
this. I never put you on a diet.
107
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:05,583
Yeah, but in every other way
you were the worst girlfriend
in the world.
108
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,333
What?
Don't mess about.
109
00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:10,083
You never!
Yeah, I did.
110
00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:12,500
Look at the size
of your chops.
It's really nice.
111
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,583
Give it. Yes, I do.
112
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:23,458
She walks in on both...
No! I can't believe it!
113
00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:28,000
Poor you!
114
00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:39,542
Do you fancy a game
of Spoilt Little Rich Girl?
115
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:40,834
We haven't done that in a while.
116
00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:43,625
All right. That one.
That one.
117
00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:50,834
Well,
I think this is lovely.
118
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:53,625
Shame the pool's
so small, though.
119
00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:56,542
We're not making a decision
based on pool size, Benjamin.
120
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,792
Bit shit, though.
121
00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:01,834
Let's go on in.
122
00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:08,667
Oh, lush! This is perfect.
123
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:14,709
Beautiful fireplace.
124
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:17,834
Oh, yeah. Great.
125
00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:21,041
Barrister, QC.
No way. Stockbroker.
126
00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:24,667
It's actually owned by a retired
barrister who wants to move out
of London.
127
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,750
He still loves the property.
128
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:29,542
Sash windows.
129
00:09:29,542 --> 00:09:31,709
Yeah, I love a sash.
Love it.
130
00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:33,834
Why don't you
try out the acoustics?
131
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,583
She trained in Vienna. Plays the
most incredible Chopin.
132
00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,583
That's terribly rude, Benjamin.
133
00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:40,667
Plays like an angel.
134
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,291
Thanks very much. Goodbye.
135
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,750
Chopin? You cunt.
136
00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:12,875
How does anyone
ever afford to buy a house
in London?
137
00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:15,750
One day. It's just about
making the money.
138
00:10:19,959 --> 00:10:23,750
It's a nice hotel.
Not big enough for an Arab,
139
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,917
not expensive enough
for an American,
140
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,792
not trendy enough
for a young professional.
141
00:10:27,792 --> 00:10:31,542
He'll be over 50,
long-term married.
142
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:32,917
First time with an escort,
143
00:10:32,917 --> 00:10:35,959
so I'm guessing
he'll be newly retired,
144
00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:40,667
which has led to a drop
in self-esteem and a need
to feel powerful and special.
145
00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:42,917
This is why I'm good at my job.
146
00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:47,917
Belle?
147
00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:49,333
Daniel?
148
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,125
Hi.
149
00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,625
Right, I'll get a drink,
shall I?
150
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:07,333
Why don't you just
try lying back?
151
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,458
Sorry. Right.
152
00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:13,625
Oh, God.
153
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,625
Oh, look at that.
The hour's all gone.
154
00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:18,959
Don't worry.
155
00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:22,208
No, look, I have to say,
I can't afford--
156
00:11:22,208 --> 00:11:25,333
Don't worry, we'll get there.
You just need to relax.
157
00:11:28,458 --> 00:11:29,834
Um...
158
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:33,125
Why don't you
watch me have a play?
159
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:58,834
That's extraordinarily
nice of you, it's just...
160
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:01,000
I have to, um...
161
00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:15,709
I'm going to have to go,
actually.
162
00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:18,166
What, you're not staying here?
163
00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:23,208
No, I can't. I'm not
a huge fan of hotels, really.
164
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:24,875
But you stay if you want.
I've already paid online.
165
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,834
On my own?
166
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,125
Well, if you like.
167
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:34,041
I'm just offering so as
not to waste, um, anything.
168
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:38,709
Thank you, though.
Thanks for your time.
169
00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:42,041
And I'm sorry...
170
00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:43,083
Belle.
171
00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:51,750
Enchanté.
172
00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:55,875
No, no, I'm sorry. Is-is...
is there anything in particular
I haven't...?
173
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:59,875
Oh, no, no, no-no-no.
It's just...
174
00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:01,542
Uh, good night.
175
00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,542
Well, that's a first.
176
00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:23,917
Thank you.
177
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:31,667
Just put it there.
Thank you.
178
00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:34,834
No one else?
179
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:36,959
Oh, well, probably for the best.
180
00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:39,917
Can't have anyone
getting too hefty.
181
00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:43,083
And, last but not least,
Rachel.
182
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:46,083
I make it two three.
No, it's two.
183
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:49,959
Rachel, look at me
with my books, my records.
184
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,750
And now look at you,
with your roots.
185
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,834
It's two three, sweetheart.
186
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,875
I owe you the 300.
187
00:13:57,875 --> 00:14:00,500
Yes, you do.
188
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,500
Now, ugly mugs.
189
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,375
This gentleman has been all over
town with fraudulent money.
190
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:11,625
Shiny notes. He tried it on
with one of Bruce's girls.
191
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:14,166
She said he spoke
with an accent.
Be Eastern European.
192
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,000
You can't say that.
No, it's racist.
193
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,625
You can't be fucking racist
against Eastern Europeans.
You can be prejudiced.
194
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,500
I'm fucking prejudiced, then.
Right, then we're all agreed.
195
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,000
They are my people!
That's funny how you're listed
as Swedish on the site, then.
196
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,875
Enough.
Right, that's your lot.
197
00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,542
Where's Fiona?
198
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:33,375
Apparently her bloke saw the
photo of her on the internet.
199
00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:36,500
Recognized the underwear
he'd bought her for Christmas.
200
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,000
No!
Maybe I should
get my pictures more pixilated.
201
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,417
No one is getting
more pixilated.
202
00:14:41,417 --> 00:14:44,333
Christ, they can barely
make out your gender as it is.
203
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,250
I just couldn't bear it
if my parents found out.
204
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:50,250
Ladies, I've got
another lot here in a minute.
205
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:54,417
And keep things free. Holiday
season coming up and all that.
206
00:14:57,667 --> 00:15:01,166
Oh, um, my young one
from the other night - Daniel.
Did you hear anything?
207
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,542
Yes. He rang to book again,
actually.
208
00:15:03,542 --> 00:15:07,333
But I gave him someone else.
He was more specific this time.
209
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:10,417
What did he want, then?
He asked for girl-next-door.
210
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:14,000
He said jeans, no makeup.
Takes all sorts, I suppose.
211
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,875
Who've you given him to?
Rachel.
212
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,959
Rachel?
£300-short Rachel?
213
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:21,959
Are you playing me?
214
00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:24,375
Now stop asking favors.
215
00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:27,625
And if you're not going to
eat anything, fuck off.
216
00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:32,792
Hello. Yes, Gabriella is free.
Six o'clock is fine. Thank you.
217
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:38,041
You know, I would order
something, but I'd be worried
you'd take 40% of my food.
218
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,834
Sorry, I know you were
expecting someone else.
219
00:16:03,834 --> 00:16:05,125
Oh, no, no.
220
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:08,125
Rachel's not well,
it's not good.
221
00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:10,792
Right. Well, hooray.
222
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:13,417
Well, not hooray for--
223
00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:17,959
So you've got me without
the miracle of hair and makeup.
224
00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:19,250
No, no, I like it.
225
00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:25,000
Uh, we can put you in a nice
hot shower if you just get--
226
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,792
Oh, yeah, of course.
227
00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:30,959
Um, um-um-um-um-um-um.
228
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,750
Why do you wear shoes
in your own flat?
229
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:40,500
Sorry?
230
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:45,041
Well, it's just it looks like
you're on your way out.
231
00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,041
Oh, are you a fan of feet, then?
232
00:16:49,959 --> 00:16:52,000
Not like that.
233
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,333
Mm.
234
00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:49,417
That'll be the...
235
00:17:53,041 --> 00:17:56,667
Hello? No problem. No problem.
236
00:17:56,667 --> 00:18:01,333
Yeah, I know. I-I'll call you
after. OK, bye.
237
00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:14,208
My girlfriend and I
were together for four years,
238
00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:17,208
and it's difficult.
239
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,208
I mean, I meet other girls.
240
00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:22,250
I like some of them.
241
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:25,417
But after half an hour or so
242
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:28,959
I just realize
how little I appreciated...
243
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,208
When did you find out?
244
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:36,542
At a party.
She was with her chap.
245
00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:42,250
She's nine months. She's like...
She's right out.
246
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:44,750
She looked exactly like
I always imagined she would.
247
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,166
My sister's
nine months pregnant.
She looks like a Volvo.
248
00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:53,625
Oh, no, you don't have to do
the other one.
249
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,792
No, I do. I have to do both.
I have a thing.
250
00:18:56,792 --> 00:19:02,291
I like symmetry, and square
numbers and palindromes.
251
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,583
What's a palindrome again?
252
00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:06,291
A word that's spelt the same
backwards as forwards,
253
00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:09,333
like "noon," "level..."
254
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,250
Hannah...
Hannah.
255
00:19:14,125 --> 00:19:17,083
You're Hannah?
256
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:19,291
Yeah.
257
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:29,125
"
by the Noisettes)
258
00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,291
Hi, this is Ben.
I can't take your call now.
259
00:19:50,291 --> 00:19:52,500
Leave me a message.
260
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:05,375
I know, Stephanie,
and now I'm asking you
to give him someone else.
261
00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:07,750
Well, I'm unpredictable
like that.
262
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:12,083
I don't know.
Tell him whatever you want.
263
00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:31,750
You're not gonna believe
what I found.
264
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:35,625
I was quite a spoilt little girl
when I was younger,
265
00:21:35,625 --> 00:21:39,667
and one of the many lessons
I had...
266
00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:44,250
Now, what I wanna know
is who wears this -
267
00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:45,792
you or me?
268
00:21:54,625 --> 00:21:58,667
Sometimes it's not
the youngest or
the richest clients you want,
269
00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:01,458
or the ones you have
most in common with.
270
00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:03,458
For me, the perfect partner
271
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:07,250
is one where
I never have to be myself.
272
00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:15,041
Sometimes I get paid to do the
things I've always wanted to do.
273
00:22:15,041 --> 00:22:17,458
The most prestigious
adult party in the country.
274
00:22:17,458 --> 00:22:19,458
Oh, shit!
Shit, sorry!
275
00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:21,875
I know that man from somewhere.
276
00:22:21,875 --> 00:22:23,959
I was this close
to having the best sex ever.
277
00:22:23,959 --> 00:22:27,458
I like your work, by the way.
I like your work too.
278
00:22:27,458 --> 00:22:30,000
Now, is it just me
279
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,792
or are you a little bit
overdressed for a work do?
280
00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:35,291
Maybe later on
when you are really desperate,
281
00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:37,208
I will fuck you.
21125
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