Original subtitles

Every day we make decisions.

Decisions that get us from one day to the next.

Decisions that change our path ever so slightly.

Most go unnoticed.

What should I wear today?

What should I have for lunch?

What route should I take to work?

Should I respond to that text message?

Will it warrant a rabbit hole of unwanted conversation?

Then there's the other decisions,

the kind that can change you,

maybe even forever.

Uh, don't.

Don't. You don't need to. You don't need to turn around.

Who cares? I mean, she's fine.

She'll probably be fine, right? Probably fine.

Fuck! I mean, who the fuck cares?

I don't even fucking know her. Fuck! Fuck!

♪ Time's running out, and I'm ready for takeoff ♪

♪ Look to the sky and I'm ♪

Hey!

Hey!

Oh, fuck.

Shit.

Come on, you crazy bitch, vomit.

Come on, come on.

Come on.

There you go.

Oh, gross.

Put me down. Who are you?

You can kill us both later. I'm Harry, by the way.

You're the fucking worst.

You're welcome.

Well, she isn't entirely wrong.

Huh? I could be the worst.

Not that I'm a horrible guy.

I just don't always make the best decisions.

Oh, shit.

What are you doing? I've been calling you.

This is Lana.

We've been dating for three months.

Maybe four.

Could be two.

The TV was on loud.

Come on in.

I had plans to make dinner tonight.

It's date night. Did you forget?

No.

Are you sleeping?

No.

Are you drunk?

No.

Stoned?

No.

Maybe.

When did you get a fish?

- Oh, yesterday. - Why?

I don't know. He's cool. What's with the interrogating?

Paul McCartney once sang,

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away."

But to be honest, yesterday was shitty too.

Except for getting a fish.

Welcome to my office.

I rob houses for a living.

It's not the best career choice,

but it pays the rent.

The guy in the green hat? My cousin Chris.

My partner in crime.

2-2-2-5.

2-2-2-5, 2-2-2-5.

2-2-2-5, 2-2-2-5.

2-2-2-5, 2-2-2.

2-2-2-5.

♪ I wanna burn my own bridges ♪

♪ Walk my own road to ruin ♪

♪ Don't waste your breath trying to stop me ♪

♪ I know for well what I'm doing ♪

♪ I got time on my hands ♪

♪ Salt on my tongue ♪

♪ I'm going downtown ♪

♪ I'm gonna get myself stung ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm crazy ♪

♪ 'Cause all I wanna do is wrong ♪

Coming, milady?

♪ I'll be the first to be taken ♪

♪ When they start calling out names ♪

♪ I can't even remember half the bad things I've done ♪

♪ But I'll wear the blame for anything they wanna pin on ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm crazy ♪

♪ 'Cause all I wanna do is wrong ♪

♪ I'm a bad penny, baby ♪

Fuck!

♪ Right from my head to my tail ♪

♪ And sooner or later ♪

♪ I'm gonna fly off the rails ♪

Anything else?

- No. We're good. - Okay.

Why do you do it?

Do what?

You take a piss in every house we rob.

Why?

Marking my territory.

Why don't you just take a dump?

That's disgusting.

- Whoa! What are you doing? - I'm feeding him.

Stop that. They can't eat that.

What? Why the fuck not?

Because they're carnivores.

You gotta feed 'em something with a higher protein content.

You know, like betta pellets or bloodworms.

What are you, some sort of fish expert?

No. It's just common knowledge.

Okay.

Look, I wanna talk to you about something.

What's up?

I've been doing a lot of thinking and...

I got a job.

What area?

No, not like a rob job.

Like, I got a real job.

Okay, you know, Aunt Lacy's friend, Esther?

Yeah. I lost my virginity to her.

That's weird.

Anyway, she got me a temp job at this company

as a paper distributor.

I thought it'd be a really good opportunity for me.

Yeah, as long it doesn't fuck up our shit.

Ah, man.

No, you're not getting it.

I'm getting a real job

so I don't have to do our shit anymore.

You know, like, I'm gonna be 28 years old, man,

and I can't be breaking into houses

and stealing shit the rest of my life.

I don't wanna be some old loser fucking robbing families.

Like, what if I want a family someday, man?

I'm not gonna lie. You sound crazy.

You should get some sleep.

Hey, I got a good job on Friday in WeHo.

It's gonna be fun.

Did you hear me?

Yeah, man, I heard you.

Okay, good.

But it's gonna be my last one, Harry.

Your last what?

Robbery.

Why do you not take anything I say seriously?

Can you please stop yelling at me?

Good night.

Hey, I'll text you Friday morning!

Protein.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have stolen the kid's fish.

Great. Just what I need. One more thing to take care of.

So how's work?

Usual.

- Chris is apparently quitting. - What?

Yeah.

Some stupid temp job.

- Good for him. - Good for him?

Why good for him?

It's just... nothing.

I'm happy for him.

Maybe you should think about it too.

Think about what?

I don't know, quitting, getting a real adult job.

Not always avoiding getting arrested.

I like what I do. I'm good at it.

- I enjoy it. - Okay.

You know, it doesn't make me less of a person

than someone with some shitty office job.

Just means I have more fun.

I'm not boring.

So how's work for you?

Hmm. Do you actually wanna know?

I'm asking, aren't I?

Guys move locations or something?

I didn't actually think you were listening.

I'm a great listener.

Well, I like it. It's a little farther from my house,

so it takes me like 10 minutes longer.

You know, and with traffic, it'd take like half an hour,

so yeah.

That's awesome.

I think both of us know this relationship is over,

but neither one of us has decided

to do anything about it.

Oh, Harry, give it to me!

Oh! Give it to me! Don't stop!

Oh! Oh, don't stop! Don't stop!

Oh, don't stop!

Oh!

Hey, you wanna smoke some weed?

No. You talk too much when you smoke.

- Harry, do you love me? - What?

- What kind of question is that? - Well, do you?

Let's go to bed. You're acting silly.

- What are you doing? - I'm leaving.

Oh. Okay.

That's it?

What?

I tell you I'm leaving, and you don't try to stop me

or ask me where I'm going?

Where are you going?

Can't believe I tried to make this work, okay?

You're stupid and immature and selfish,

and I can't do this anymore.

That-- That's it?

Yes, Harry, that's it!

- Oh. - Leaving you.

If that's what you want.

Well, I guess she made the decision.

I could run after her.

Looks good.

What are these scratches right there?

Those? Uh...

- From my dog. - You have a dog?

Yeah, yeah, he's ferocious.

Yeah, he's sleeping.

All right, bro, I'll take it.

Uh, let's go this way. Come on.

Hey, so what kind of dog do you have anyway?

These are pretty deep scratches.

It's a cock-a-doodle poodle Spaniard thing.

I got a dog too, you know. It's a West Highland Terrier.

They're really cute, you know.

Actually, he's really good with aggressive dogs.

Since you got an aggressive, mean dog,

- we could take 'em out. - Thanks.

Take them for a walk to the park sometime, and...

All right, bro, I'll catch you later.

Do you have the money from the last one?

- What? - From the last job.

Did you sell everything?

Yeah. What kinda fucking question is that?

I'm just asking, man. I wanna be done after today.

You don't think I'm gonna pay you?

I didn't say that.

I just don't wanna have to ask for it later, man.

It's awkward.

For someone having an awakening of morals,

you sure are money hungry.

You'll get your cash, okay?

We'll just do this one today,

and then you can move on to your real job

and start popping out a shitload of kids

or whatever it is you want.

And I've never seen anyone so fucking excited

to sit at a desk.

Dude, stop sleeping, man.

Not sleeping. Just resting my eyes.

Hey.

Look.

Too easy.

Must be hard trying to figure out which car to take.

Oh, honey, let's take the sports car.

Let's take the convertible.

Oh, let's take the convertible sports car.

It's gonna be nice this weekend.

Oh, this dude's definitely a sugar daddy.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Wait. These people always forget something.

Dude, let's go, man. I wanna get this shit over with.

- I said wait. - I wanna get this over with!

Just wait.

See? What'd I say?

20 bucks says it's a phone charger.

- Jesus fuck. - Called it.

- You owe me 20 bucks. - Fuck you.

Come on.

Fancy.

What the fuck are you doing?

Getting into the holiday spirits.

- Harry! - What?

What are you doing, man? Come on.

Chris, look around.

I mean, this is the life, man. That's your problem.

You're always rushing around, looking for the next best thing.

Tell me that this is not better

than your shitty Tarzana apartment.

Am I wrong?

Yes!

Not about that.

Let's fucking go.

No! I don't want it! Come on!

Yes, ma'am.

Grab the electronics.

I'll go upstairs and check the bedrooms.

What the hell?

Hey! What the hell is going on?

Whoa-ho-ho-ho.

Got you, you fuck.

- Son of a bitch. - Harry!

- Harry! - Harry?

He's back!

Come on.

Hey, monkey!

Huh?

Harry! Get--

Harry, get down here!

Oh, fuck.

Harry, go!

Harry, Harry, Harry!

Get the fuck off me!

Get the fuck off!

Keys, keys, your keys! Gimme the keys!

Putain.

Holy shit! Can you believe that?

I mean, I've never seen 'em come back twice.

What are the fucking odds?

- Do you think this is funny? - What?

No! My adrenaline is just through the roof!

I mean, I hit a guy with a fucking water jug!

This is fucking crazy.

We almost got killed, Harry.

- What? - That guy wanted to fucking kill me.

He wasn't gonna kill you.

Yes, he was! Are you insane?

This is why I don't wanna do this shit anymore.

Hey, relax! We're alive, aren't we?

- We're here. - I'm going.

- Wait, wait wait. - What, Harry?

I got a job in Toluca Lake tomorrow.

You're kidding, right?

- This some kinda fucking joke? - Wait, wait, wait!

It's a gold mine, I swear to God.

No!

No! I'm done!

Okay, I told you, man.

I don't wanna risk my life

for some fucking jewelry and out-of-date laptops.

Wait, wait, wait! Don't you want your cash?

No! You can keep it.

- Wait! - What?

Are you coming to Grandma's on Sunday?

Yeah, I'll be there.

Hey, if you close that door there's no coming back.

They say you can't have rainbows without a little rain.

I think rainbows are overrated.

- If I got to choose... - He'll be back.

...I'd pick sunshine every day.

Hey, it's Chris.

Leave a message

or just text me like a regular person.

Hey, where are you? The job's at noon.

I'll text the address.

Maybe I'll forgive you for all the shit you said.

At the tone, please record your message.

Chris, what the fuck?

I mean, it's noon. It's actually past noon.

I'm starting to think you were actually being serious

about all the crazy shit you were saying yesterday.

Maybe you're on your way. I'll wait a little bit longer.

At the tone, please record your message.

Chris, you fucking blew it.

I'm telling you, you fucking blew it.

I mean, don't even think about showing up.

8-7-8-9, 8-7-8-9.

If I find a billion dollars in a briefcase,

I'm not fucking sharing it with you.

I mean, I don't even give a fuck if we're cousins.

You know what? You know what else?

- To listen to your message... - Fuck you!

Shit.

Ah, crap.

♪ A-one, two, three, four ♪

♪ Well, way down south ♪

♪ In Tennessee ♪

♪ They've got a dance ♪

♪ You ought to see ♪

♪ They burn a hole ♪

♪ Right through the floor ♪

♪ And come back up ♪

♪ And rock some more ♪

♪ Well, diddle diddle diddle diddle diddley Dee ♪

♪ I love you, you love me ♪

♪ We'll spend all night rocking around the barn ♪

♪ Well, diddle diddle diddle diddle diddley Dee ♪

♪ I love you, you love me ♪

♪ We'll spend all night rocking around the barn ♪

Ah, fuck! Holy shit!

- Oh, fuck me. - Oh, hey.

Are you okay?

Mm-hmm.

You know, I'm robbing you right now.

I basically just stole all your shit.

Yeah, that's cool.

Can you close the door on your way out?

What are you doing?

Waiting.

Are you trying to kill yourself?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, these are antibiotics.

That's not gonna do it.

Oh, motherfucker.

Hydrocodone. That'll do the trick.

Thank you.

Can you close the door on your way out?

The door!

Crazy bitch.

So here I am again.

Decision time.

Save someone's life,

or go home and eat some popcorn in front of my new TV.

I guess you know what I chose.

Fuck! Fuck!

Hey!

Come on.

There you go.

Oh, gross.

Should I stay or should I go now?

If I go, there will be trouble.

If I stay, there will be double.

I love that song.

I guess I'll stay, stay, stay.

♪ And my eyes were closed for most of the ride ♪

♪ I crossed over the borderline ♪

♪ And I don't know where I'm going ♪

♪ But I will drive ♪

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

♪ And I wasn't bred to waste my time ♪

♪ Biting my tongue and forcing a smile ♪

♪ My hands are tired and broken ♪

♪ But I won't lie ♪

♪ No, I won't lie ♪

♪ I'm not afraid ♪

♪ I'll never change ♪

♪ It's in my blood ♪

♪ It's in my veins ♪

♪ The walls will break ♪

♪ The earth will shake ♪

♪ With this parade of renegades ♪

Morning, sunshine.

Fuck, my head fucking kills.

I'd offer you some painkillers,

but I think you threw them all up.

What are you still doing here?

Are you making sure I'll blow my brains out?

You wouldn't do that.

Why?

Well, women don't generally do that.

You know, you guys, like, slit your wrists or take pills,

so you look pretty when you die.

Men, they blow their brains out and hang themselves.

- They did a study on it. - Fascinating.

Did you dress me?

Yes.

It felt weird, staring at a half-dead girl's tits.

Oh, dear God.

Are you actually following me everywhere?

Why didn't you just call the cops and leave?

Well, I was going to,

but you said you'd rat me out if I called.

- I did? - You did.

So what's your plan then?

You know, you can't just babysit me forever.

You say that like you think I actually have a plan.

So, I mean, why do you wanna kill yourself anyways?

- You're joking, right? - Never mind.

You think I'm gonna have a heart-to-heart with you now?

I said never mind.

At the tone, please record your message.

- What is it? - Nothing.

Want me to turn that on for you?

Nope.

You just wanna stare at a blank screen?

Mm-hmm.

- Oh, my God. - Are you hungry?

I mean, do you need to eat?

I don't know what the protocol is after almost dying.

- Are you supposed to eat? - I couldn't tell you.

You know what? Let's look it up.

- Good. - Mm-hmm.

How do you even word that?

Is it okay to eat after almost dying?

I do not need to eat anything.

I am only here to serve.

Should I look up food and OD-ing?

That's what I'll do.

What are you supposed to eat

after almost OD-ing on painkillers?

You should probably go to the hospital.

Oh, my God, I'll eat. Just stop talking, both of you.

- Pasta? - Don't care.

- Eggs? - Whatever.

Half a sandwich?

Eww.

Mmm.

Uh, let's go eggs.

Breakfast for dinner.

Where are your pans?

You're a lot of help.

Oh, there we go.

I take it your boyfriend does most of the cooking around here.

What?

The guy who lives here, is he not your boyfriend?

I mean, all the preppy attire in the closet.

Oh.

Yeah, no, we're not together anymore.

Really?

That was fast.

What was fast?

Saw him here a couple days ago.

I don't pick places at random. I scope 'em out.

Make sure there's no gun owners or mean doggies.

I don't wanna get myself killed.

How thoughtful of you.

I mean, that guy?

He drives a Prius and drinks green smoothies for breakfast.

Definitely not a gun owner, am I right?

You are.

Where are your knives and forks?

I don't know.

Again, no help.

So?

So what?

So when did it happen?

Jesus Christ, dude.

You ask more questions than my fucking therapist.

You have a therapist?

You should get your money back.

Ha ha.

It happened this morning.

Shit.

Yeah, we were engaged.

Double shit. I'm sorry.

That's a lot of salt.

What?

Do you always use that much salt?

Yeah. Salt makes everything taste better.

Well, it's not good for you.

Why? It's natural. It's from the earth.

Why wouldn't it be good for you?

It's just not.

For someone who tried to kill themselves a couple hours ago,

you sure are worried about your sodium intake.

Who would wanna kill themselves when salt and butter exist?

I mean, these right here are two reasons to live.

You're a hoot and a half.

Ah!

At the tone, please record your message.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Answer your phone, Peter!

Be a fucking man and answer your goddamn phone!

Asshole.

Oh, my God.

You okay?

You wanna get high?

Yes, please.

I mean...

the guy actually thinks he's gonna be happy

working at a temp job.

Yeah, fucking right.

I mean, who's ever happy at a temp job?

No one.

Who's ever happy ever, you know?

I mean, it just doesn't make sense to me.

He has all this knowledge.

He knows shit about shit, you know?

He even knows about fishes.

I mean, not just fishes.

He knows about everything.

What?

Fish.

- "Fish" is already plural. - Fishes.

"Fishes," I don't think that's a word.

You're so high.

What? Just a little.

You're really stoned.

It's okay. Don't get weird about it.

I'm high too. Self-medication is key, bruh.

- Hey, I got a question. - Hmm?

Why the bathtub?

What?

Why kill yourself in the bathtub?

I just figured if the pills didn't take,

you know, maybe I'd drown.

There's a pool right here.

Oh.

I didn't think about it.

My mistake.

Fishers.

Fishers. Fishermen.

Fishies.

Fisheesh--

- Facetious. - "Fa-she-sess."

- It's facetious. - "Fa-she-sess."

- Is that right? - No, it's totally not right.

I mean, I wouldn't say I have a horrible relationship with her,

but it's definitely not healthy-healthy,

and she's my mom, and I love her,

but sometimes I just wanna throw her in a home.

Oh, God, amen.

I mean, people always make you feel bad,

like your mom gave birth to you,

and it's like I'm 30 years old.

I didn't realize that being born,

you have to be eternally in debt to someone.

Oh, my God. I can't--

I can't pee with you standing here.

- Why? - 'Cause I'm like pee shy,

and I'm freaked out.

It's just freaking me out right now.

Well, I don't like it either,

but we both know you can't be trusted alone.

Can you make water sounds?

- Water sounds? - Yeah.

- Just turn the faucet on. - No, no, just make the noise.

Just make the noise.

Yeah.

Ah, okay, thank you.

What was I talking about?

I don't know. Something about your mom.

Uh, for giving birth to you?

- No. - Oh.

Why is it always the smallest girl

who survives in these movies?

- What do you mean? - It's always the skinny girl

who's, like, disheveled, but not actually disheveled,

like day two of Coachella disheveled,

and then the bad guy's always like,

"Can't grab tiny ankles with giant hands."

It's like her ankles are covered in grease or something.

Yeah, you're right.

Like this girl. Watch. Come here.

Look, he's grabbing her, grabbing.

She's like, "Let me go!"

Bam! She escapes.

Holy shit. That's so true.

Greased ankles.

It's annoying

and offensive to everyone else.

You texting him?

Are you?

It's not your business.

Don't text him.

Gosh, I don't why you think I'm gonna listen to you.

Well, I just figured if I keep saying shit,

maybe something will stick.

I mean, honestly, what-- what is your plan here?

What?

I'm gonna kill myself, Harry.

I am, whether it be tonight or tomorrow

or the day after that, it's gonna happen.

And you can ramble at me all you want,

and you can watch me like a hawk,

but it's not gonna change anything.

I don't wanna be here. Why don't you get that?

- That's not true. - It is true!

It is, and it's selfish of you to make me stay.

I guess I'm selfish then.

Oh, my God.

Stop following me!

I just don't understand why anyone would wanna die.

Well, you know what? It's not for you to understand.

Shit.

I don't know why you care so much.

You don't even know me.

I know. I mean, I don't know either.

Look, I'm gonna do it, okay?

And there's nothing that you can do or say

that's gonna stop it from happening.

Just stop making it so fucking difficult.

- I just think-- - Please just stop!

Please.

Fine. I mean, if that's what you want.

It is what I want.

One condition.

You need a last meal.

- What? - A last meal.

Go big or go home.

Wait. You are home.

Look, even prisoners get a last meal.

You need one.

God, what is your deal with food?

Dude, you're like obsessed or something.

I'm pretty sure you're the only person on Earth

who isn't obsessed with food.

Look, I'll cook for you,

and if you still wanna kill yourself after, I'll leave.

Deal?

Is this like you asking me out in some weird, fucked-up way?

- What? - I don't know.

It just feels like you're cooking me dinner and stuff.

- It's kind of... - No, it's like you said.

- The food obsession thing. - Okay.

Come on.

So all I have to do is eat. That's it?

- That's it. - And then you'll go away,

and you'll let me die in peace.

Yes.

God, fine.

But make it super fancy.

Is filet mignon fancy enough for you?

Yeah. Peter's a vegetarian,

so good luck finding that in this house.

Figures.

Come on, I have an idea.

- No. - Come on.

- Come on. - Oh, God.

- No. - Why? If you die,

I'll just be doing you a favor, right?

- You're going too fast. - You're welcome.

♪ I've been down and out of luck ♪

♪ Most of my days ♪

♪ Spent all my innocence wrestling with the devil ♪

♪ In my way ♪

♪ My own prison, behind bars ♪

♪ Learned a thing or two about breaking hearts ♪

♪ And listening to the silence through all the rage ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Hey, so how often do you have to feed fish?

What, like in the ocean?

- No, like a pet fish. - I don't know.

I mean, I think people feed them pretty much like every day.

Really?

I think so. I don't know.

Daisy?

Oh, my goodness! I thought it was you!

Anna, hey, yeah.

How you doing? You okay?

- Yeah, I'm good. - You remember Michael?

- Good to see you. - Yeah.

Good to see you.

Is this your new boyfriend?

God, no. No, that's Harry.

He broke into my house

and now he's apparently kidnapping me.

Oh, honey, you've always been so funny.

How you doing though? You okay?

- Yeah, I'm good. - Yeah? You sure?

Yes! Jesus!

We should do coffee sometime.

Okay? You still have the same number?

- We gotta go. Yeah. - I'll text you.

I'm so sorry about you and Peter.

You okay?

- You ask me that too much. - I do?

Yeah. It's a dumb question.

Fair enough.

You're a fucking coward, Pete! I hate you!

God, I fucking hate you!

Don't you ever think about calling me again, okay?

Hey, I'm sorry, okay? I'm upset.

I really need to talk to you, so please call me.

Please.

Don't.

I didn't say anything.

Dinner at seven.

Is that what you're wearing?

What's wrong with this?

Nothing.

Is there something wrong with what I'm wearing?

No, not at all.

I just thought maybe you'd wanna look better when you die.

Am I supposed to like dress up?

You can do whatever you want.

It's not my last meal, it's yours.

Well, look what the pussycat dragged in.

Look, hey, I got your messages.

I'm sorry, man.

I just didn't want this to end weirdly.

I'm sorry.

I can't hear you.

I'm too busy rolling around

in a giant pile of hundred dollar bills.

That's good. I'm glad to hear.

What's all that music? You're having a party?

What? No, I'm working out.

Oh, that's less exciting.

Gotta fit into the one suit I have.

You took the rest of 'em.

So I take it you're not coming back.

Nah, man.

I'm not. I'm sorry.

Your funeral.

Hey, listen.

Thanks for everything, Har.

It was really fun.

Yeah. Yeah, it was all right.

And I'll still see you all the time.

You know, it's just not gonna be running away from people

trying to kill me.

Yeah.

Well, hey, man, have fun at that fucking paper job

or whatever the shit it is.

Try not to die of boredom.

- I'll try not to, man. - All right, man.

Listen, I gotta run.

Oh.

Okay. Uh...

I'll see you at Grandma's thing, right?

Yeah, man. I'll see you then.

- Bye, dude. - Later, man.

♪ My, my-my ♪

♪ My mama raised me right ♪

♪ I've always been the honest type ♪

♪ You, you-you ♪

♪ You crashed into my life ♪

♪ And ever since that night ♪

♪ I just can't say what I'm thinking ♪

♪ Wake up, this dream is getting hard to believe that ♪

♪ I'm on your mind ♪

♪ You've been teasing all this time ♪

♪ We ain't crossed a single line ♪

♪ We both don't know what's gonna happen ♪

♪ While we lay low ♪

♪ Ain't nothing gonna happen ♪

♪ Till you say so ♪

♪ Are you feeling what I'm feeling ♪

♪ Don't tell me that you don't know ♪

♪ Whoa oh ♪

♪ Whoa oh, whoa oh ♪

♪ Don't know ♪

♪ Whoa oh, whoa oh ♪

Don't laugh, okay?

Wow.

Ugh.

I look ridiculous.

- No, no, you don't. - I do.

I look like one of those girls in the movie they make over

out of pity.

No, you look...

You look amazing.

This is fancy, all right.

You wanted fancy, you get fancy.

Please.

Oh, thank you.

What?

Nothing. This is just very datey.

So what if it is? Whatever.

Nice suit.

Oh, this old thing.

Did you just find it lying around?

That's exactly where I found it.

Oh.

- To you. - To me?

Yeah, this is your night.

Please don't toast to me.

Then what do you wanna toast to then?

Literally anything else.

To me.

God, that's even worse.

Okay, to you.

Harry Last-name-I-don't-know.

Here goes nothing.

- Good luck. - Hah!

- Oh, my God. - It's good, huh?

This is so good.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

Salt. Fuckloads of it.

Revolutionary.

So...

what are you gonna do after you die?

What do you mean?

Like what's your first stop?

After I die?

Yeah.

What, do you mean, like, afterlife?

Of course.

Do you actually believe in all that stuff?

- What, like God? - Yeah.

I think so. I mean, don't you?

No.

So what's the meaning of all this then?

See, I knew you were gonna ask that.

Well?

The question doesn't make any sense.

Why?

The question should be, "How did we come to exist?"

Or, "What can we do while we're here?"

To ask why we're here, it's idiotic.

- There's no reason. - No reason?

No. Humans spend their entire life wondering,

"Why are we here?"

when in actuality, we're just a bunch of monkeys

running around on a rock,

trying to have sex with each other and not get blown up.

So you don't think anything happens after you die?

No, it does.

It just doesn't involve me.

With an attitude like that,

I know why you wouldn't wanna stay alive.

Hilarious.

So if you're an atheist, I mean, why do you wanna die?

What's the difference?

Like most people, they get something after all this.

As far as you're concerned, this is it.

Why would you wanna give up the one thing you'll ever have?

I just don't think it's all that great.

So will you tell me why then?

Tell you what?

Why you wanna do it.

Why do you need to know so badly?

I don't know.

I guess I just want to.

I don't know how to explain it.

Try.

Okay.

You know, there's like those moments in life

that you'll always remember because you were so, so happy

you couldn't forget it if you tried?

Yeah.

I've never had one of those.

I've never felt that.

What about when you were a kid?

I mean, I smiled.

I went through the motions. I looked happy.

But... nothing on the inside.

Wait here.

You know, when I was a kid, and I'd get sad,

my mom would throw on a record and make me dance with her.

May I?

♪ I don't know where you've been ♪

♪ Someplace ♪

What is this song? I like it.

I don't know. It's your record.

How do you feel right now?

Right now?

You still feel shitty?

I feel...

less shitty.

Less shitty is good.

♪ The songs I'd written for you ♪

♪ 'Cause time and distance won't play ♪

♪ The sentiment that is true ♪

♪ My old flame ♪

♪ Don't put me out with your tears ♪

No! No, no, no, no!

I'm gonna throw you in the pool.

You're going, you're going.

Stop!

You asshole!

Oh, I knew it.

I knew it.

Trust my instincts.

No, not again.

Did you hear that?

What?

Officers.

Sir, we've received a noise complaint

from some of your neighbors.

Yelling, loud music.

Yeah, I just, uh...

Sir, is everything okay?

Yeah, everything...

I also noticed some spray paint on the sensor on your gate.

Looks like it may have been forced open.

We've been meaning to fix it.

Is there someone there with you?

Yeah, there's someone here.

Honey, is everything okay?

Ma'am, there's been a noise complaint.

Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

You know what? It is our one-year anniversary.

We got a little carried away with the wine and the music.

I promise we'll keep it down.

I know you guys are just doing your job,

and I really appreciate-- we really appreciate--

you coming out and letting us know.

You know...

some of the neighbors around here are a little uptight,

so we appreciate your understanding.

- I know, I know. - Yeah.

- Thank you, guys. - Thank you.

And please be safe tonight.

- All right. - All right.

Happy anniversary, guys.

Thank you, thank you.

Holy shit! Did you see their faces?

I mean, I froze.

How did you do that?

You know this doesn't change anything, don't you?

Doesn't it?

No.

I think you're wrong.

- Harry... - I do, I do.

I think you're making a mistake.

I think you could be happy.

Jesus Christ!

You told me all I had to do was have dinner with you!

You said that was it!

Yeah, well, I changed my mind.

- You changed your mind? - Yes!

- It doesn't work like that! - Why not?

Because this is my life, Harry!

And I decide if I fucking wanna be a part of it or not!

Well, I don't think you wanna do this!

Well, I don't think you fucking know me at all!

Peter!

No, I'm sorry. Please don't yell.

Hold on, hold on. I'm going outside. Hold on.

Wait, wait!

What are you doing?

Why are you leaving?

Just because you wanna kill yourself

doesn't mean you should jump in front of someone else's car.

I don't want that on my conscience the rest of my life.

Well, where are you going?

Where am I going?

I'm leaving, Daisy.

I'm doing what you asked me to do.

But why? I don't understand.

Are you actually this crazy? You wanted me to go.

What, do you want me to stay?

No! No.

What the fuck do you want?

God, you're such a fucking asshole.

I wanted to be dead! That's what I fucking wanted!

Well, I'm not stopping you anymore, am I?

Fuck you, Harry!

Yeah, good luck! Hope you cut vertically!

Go! Go!

Fucking go!

Shit!

Oh, you fucking idiot.

This is why you don't go and help people.

♪ Your hair, your lips ♪

♪ Things I'm gonna miss ♪

♪ Dear God ♪

Ah, fuck it. I don't need this shit in my life.

I don't need her. I don't need my cousin.

I don't need anyone.

I'm a fucking Lone Ranger.

♪ And the days and the days and the days and the days ♪

♪ But I ♪

♪ I never meant to make you cry ♪

♪ And I tried ♪

♪ To give you every bit of my ♪

♪ Heart ♪

♪ But we tore each other apart ♪

♪ You wanted time ♪

♪ It's better now we say goodbye ♪

♪ I know your telephone calls ♪

♪ They always felt so long ♪

♪ I tried to pick you up ♪

I don't fucking care.

♪ Baby, you brought me down ♪

♪ And I can't be your crutch ♪

♪ Gave you way too much ♪

Who cares?

You're not my fucking problem.

Fuck her. Fuck!

♪ I never meant to make you cry ♪

♪ And I tried ♪

♪ To give you every bit of my ♪

♪ Heart ♪

- ♪ We tore each other apart ♪ - Come on, come on.

Shit! Don't do it. Don't do it, Daisy.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

♪ Better now we say goodbye ♪

♪ It's better now we say goodbye ♪

♪ It's better now we say goodbye ♪

Shit!

Daisy!

Daisy!

Daisy! Daisy!

Fuck.

Daisy? Daisy!

Fuck.

Daisy! Come on.

Daisy? Come on, Daisy.

Fuck!

Hey, Daisy!

Come on.

- Like I said... - Fuck!

...some decisions can be life-changing.

Daisy? There you go.

Come on, there you go.

Come on.

Daisy?

What the fuck, man?

Why don't you just let me die?

I don't know.

Thanks.

Why do you like me?

I have no idea.

You don't have any marbles left in your head.

Neither do you.

You're the one who told a suicidal chick

another way she could commit suicide.

Well, then I guess we're both marble-less.

Where you going?

I'm letting you sleep.

Why?

'Cause it looks like you're falling asleep.

Wait.

Can you stay?

Stay?

In here?

Yeah.

Can we just sleep?

Yeah.

Harry.

Harry.

- Harry! - Hmm?

I can't sleep.

What do you wanna do?

You know earlier when I said I've never really felt happy?

I lied. I did. I felt happy one time.

When I was a kid, there was this girl named Shelby,

who used to get bullied by these two asshole girls.

And one day, they were yelling at her

and calling her names, and so I ran over,

and I grabbed them both by their ponytails,

and I shoved their faces in the sand.

And they ran away crying and screaming for the teacher.

That's what made you happy?

- Yeah. - That's fucked up.

I know, I know.

Was Shelby grateful?

Not really, no.

She ended up ratting me out later.

- Really? - Yeah.

Wasn't that a dick move?

Fucking Shelby.

Fucking Shelby's right.

How are you so sure I won't do it again?

Back door was locked.

What?

When I got back, the door was locked,

like you wanted me to find you.

That's ridiculous.

Maybe.

Are you sure you want a crazy girl like me?

Not really.

♪ I met a girl with a lip tattoo ♪

♪ She looks skinny as a rail in her high-heel shoes ♪

♪ She's got a spot above Webster Hall ♪

♪ Gonna run this town with her hair up in a ball ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Just a small-town girl, USA ♪

♪ Hell, her daddy's bagging groceries ♪

♪ Living day by day ♪

♪ And I know she knows it ain't her place ♪

♪ But she's tired of that living and the same clichés ♪

♪ So she the first to hold a degree ♪

♪ While her mama's waiting tables down at Ruby Tuesday ♪

♪ But I ain't saying that at all like it's mean ♪

♪ 'Cause her mama probably taught the girl ♪

♪ Damn near everything ♪

I'm still mad you saved me.

I know.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, fuck!

Here, take these. Please don't rape me.

What the fuck you talking about, lady?

Who are you? This is my house.

How'd you get in here?

- Peter. - This is Peter?

Daisy? What are you doing here?

Peter, I'm sorry.

Hey, look, you can't just show up like this.

We told you. We could have you arrested.

I know. I'm sorry. I freaked out.

I'm gonna call the police.

Okay, what the fuck's going on?

I mean, first with the voicemails and--

What is this?

Did she tell you that she lives here?

Oh, my God. That is rich!

This is like a new level of insanity for you!

Are those my lobster shorts?

Don't touch me, Cynthia! Don't you ever fucking touch me.

Sweetheart, I think you should get some help.

- Back off. - Baby, don't. She's crazy.

What the fuck? Have you been going through our mail?

- I can't believe this. - 911.

I'm calling to report a home invasion.

No one's calling the cops, buddy.

- The address is-- - Shut the fuck up.

Daisy, you don't live here?

I used to.

No, that was over a year ago, you psycho.

You belong in an institution.

And then Peter fucked my best friend,

and here they are, all pregnant and happy

and living their perfect little life together,

like nothing fucking happened.

- Her? - Yes.

I said I was sorry.

That's not what happened at all, okay? Look.

You and I were never gonna work because of you.

Okay? Your mental issues.

This has got nothing to do with Cynthia and I.

Hey, man, I don't know who you are,

but every guy deserves to know that this girl is crazy.

All right? She is not well, she's dangerous, and...

I suggest that you run, all right?

Run while you can. Trust me!

Do you have a home phone?

What?

- Do you have a home phone? - No.

- Gimme your phone. - No.

Gimme your fucking cell!

- It's okay, baby. - Here's what's gonna happen.

We're gonna leave,

your wife's pregnant,

and you drive a hybrid.

Hey!

So I don't think we're gonna have any trouble.

- Wait. You wanna say anything? - What?

Daisy, these people ruined your life.

Do you wanna say anything to them?

It's okay.

Cynthia...

I trusted you. You were my best friend.

I told you every little thing in my life.

I was there every time you got your heart broken.

I helped you get your clit ring out when it was stuck, dude.

I told you not to get that. It was nasty and stupid.

And, Peter, you broke my heart, man.

You ripped it into a million fucking pieces,

and I hate you for it, I do.

I look at you, and I feel physically ill,

wondering how I ever had sex with you.

I don't love you.

I fucking hate both of you.

You know what? Fuck you and fuck you!

And fuck your stupid house, okay?

It's boring and poorly decorated.

And fuck your baby.

I hope he comes out retarded.

I don't think she meant that last part.

Ah! I hate this stupid house.

No one even plays the piano!

I'm honestly not feeling super-stoked about lying to you,

so I'm sorry.

I broke into their house too, so I can't judge.

I wonder who would win in a who's more fucked-up contest.

You, by a landslide.

Yeah, no argument here.

Welcome to my humble abode.

Ah.

Oh, my God.

People in this town are fucking animals.

Well, you hungry? I'll make you breakfast.

Why are you always trying to feed me?

I'll put extra salt in it. You'll love it.

I guess in the end,

life is just a summary of choices you make,

and every day is an opportunity to decide

what you want it to be.