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1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,170
We learned one thing, C.H.E.E.S.E:
2
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:08,924
Cheerleaders and high explosives
don't mix.
3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,718
[JOEY LAUGHING]
4
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,262
CHEESE [ON TV]:
You can say that again, Mac.
5
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,015
I couldn't have done it alone.
You're a genius.
6
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:21,353
Oh, yeah? Well, how come I can't get
my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
7
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:22,938
[BOTH LAUGHING]
8
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,523
[JOEY LAUGHING]
9
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,737
What did you guys think?
10
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,450
[PHONE RINGS]
11
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,869
CHANDLER: Hey, the phone.
MONICA: I got it. I got it.
12
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,412
Hello.
13
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,372
- Hold on. Joey, it's your mom.
- It's Mommy.
14
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:41,915
ROSS: Aw...
PHOEBE: That's nice.
15
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,001
JOEY:
Ma, so what did you think?
16
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,128
Well...
17
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,922
...that was, um, okay.
18
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,507
It wasn't the best.
19
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,218
That was one
of the worst things ever...
20
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,972
...and not just on TV.
21
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,892
- What should we say?
- The lighting was okay.
22
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:03,228
You got lighting last time.
Lighting is mine.
23
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:04,730
I have costumes.
24
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,398
That means I'm stuck with:
25
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:11,779
"So we were watching you in there,
and you were sitting right here. Whoa."
26
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,948
- What about you?
- I don't know.
27
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,494
I can't lie to him again.
Oh, no, I... No.
28
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,497
I'm just gonna press
my breasts up against him.
29
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,084
- And say nothing?
- Uh-huh, yeah, that's right.
30
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,171
Wow, my folks really liked it.
31
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,923
What did you guys think?
32
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,098
It wasn't that good.
33
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:25,060
Do you think that your favorite animal
says much about you?
34
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,104
You mean behind my back?
35
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,900
Oh, you'll never believe
what happened to me today.
36
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,278
- I am sitting in my office...
JOEY: You guys!
37
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,196
Guess what my agent just said?
38
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,157
I'm in the middle of a story here.
39
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,741
Sorry, you finish.
40
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,870
I'm sitting in my office,
and guess who walks in.
41
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,164
I'm gonna be on two TV shows.
42
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,456
BOTH:
That's great.
43
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,376
- Joey.
- You weren't finished?
44
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:52,337
Yeah, "Guess who walks
into my office" is my story.
45
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,008
Ralph Lauren walked into my office.
46
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,928
Uh, if you're starting another story,
at least let me finish mine.
47
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,723
It's the same story.
48
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,767
Uh, wow, it's really long.
49
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:10,189
Ralph just came in to tell me
that he's so happy with my work...
50
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,650
...that he wants me to be the new
merchandising manager for Polo retail.
51
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:14,860
PHOEBE:
Aw...
52
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,862
- Still get a discount on wedding gowns?
- Yeah.
53
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,197
I'm so happy for you.
54
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,910
These really are
the days of our lives.
55
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,246
- What?
- Well, since you ask, ha, ha...
56
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,373
They want me back on
Days of our Lives.
57
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,583
[PHOEBE & MONICA GASP]
58
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,085
- I get a big pay raise!
- Oh, hey!
59
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,838
I'll be playing Drake Ramoray's
twin brother, Stryker.
60
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,548
MONICA & PHOEBE:
Ooh...
61
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,217
I get to hire my own assistant.
62
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:39,760
[SCREAM]
63
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,513
Well... I got a head rush
from standing up too fast.
64
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,146
You were at this job four years?
65
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:55,442
- That's right.
- This is all very impressive, Hilda.
66
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,363
Um, I just have
one last question for you, uh...
67
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,448
How did I do? Was this okay?
68
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,993
- What?
- I've never interviewed anyone.
69
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,329
I've never had anyone work for me.
70
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,874
When I was a kid we had a maid,
but this isn't the same.
71
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,335
No, dear, it's not.
72
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,420
And I know that.
73
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,964
[BOTH LAUGH]
74
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,258
Well, thank you so much for coming in.
75
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,510
- Nice to meet you.
- Good meeting you.
76
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,136
RACHEL:
All right.
77
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,265
I'm a total pro.
78
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,018
- Hello.
- Wow. Huh, um...
79
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,523
Hi, yes, I'm sorry.
The models are down the hall.
80
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,025
I'm here about the assistant job.
81
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,568
Really?
82
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:42,948
Okay, well, then, all right.
Well, just have a seat there.
83
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,741
Um, so what's...? What your name?
84
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,076
Tag Jones.
85
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,120
Uh-huh, go on.
86
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,290
That's it. That's my whole name.
87
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,583
That's your whole name.
Of course.
88
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,545
Okay, let's just have a look-see here.
89
00:04:56,796 --> 00:05:00,507
I haven't worked in an office before.
I don't have much experience...
90
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:04,845
What are you talking about?
You got three years painting houses...
91
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:09,016
...two whole summers
at T.G.I. Friday's.
92
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,934
It's lame, I know.
93
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:14,021
But I'm a goal-oriented person,
eager to learn...
94
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,189
Just hold on a second, please.
95
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:23,864
It's for Human Resources. Everybody
has to. Would you stand up?
96
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,249
Ha, ha, no, no, no.
97
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,595
- Hey.
- Shh, shh, shh.
98
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,432
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
99
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,061
- Anyway, I should go.
- Okay. Bye.
100
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,063
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hi, sweetie.
101
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,357
What was with all the whispering?
102
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,817
I can't tell you. It's a secret.
103
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:04,821
Secret? Married people aren't
supposed to have secrets.
104
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,699
We love and respect
one another too much.
105
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,534
Aw...
106
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,453
But still, no, ha, ha.
107
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:15,749
We should tell each other everything.
I don't have secrets from you.
108
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:20,462
Really? So tell me what happened
to Ross, junior year at Disneyland.
109
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,838
No, I can't do that.
110
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,298
[MONICA CHUCKLING]
111
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,175
I'll tell you what Phoebe said.
112
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,010
- Okay.
- Okay.
113
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,596
So, ahem, Ross and I
are going to Disneyland.
114
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,015
We stop at this restaurant for tacos.
115
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:36,895
When I say restaurant, I mean a guy,
a hibachi, and the trunk of his car.
116
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:39,564
So Ross has about ten tacos.
117
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:44,361
Anyway, we're on Space Mountain
and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
118
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,196
Oh, my God. He threw up?
119
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:49,408
No, he visited a town
a little south of throw up.
120
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,035
Oh, my God!
121
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,413
What was Phoebe's secret?
122
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,916
Um, Nancy Thompson, from Phoebe's
old massage place, is getting fired.
123
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,167
Oh.
124
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,757
That's it? I gave up
my Disneyland story for that?
125
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,926
Hm, that's right. You lose, sucker!
126
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,889
Please still marry me.
127
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,770
You have an assistant, right?
128
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,063
Did she call?
129
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:24,109
You told her I was sick, right?
Always tell her I am sick.
130
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,696
I don't know.
How do you decide who to hire?
131
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,614
I have it down to two people.
132
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,909
One has great references
and a lot of experience.
133
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,537
- And then, there's this guy.
- What about him?
134
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:36,997
[SIGHS]
135
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,415
I love him.
136
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,294
He's so pretty, I want to cry.
137
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,879
I don't know what to do.
138
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,716
Come on, you know what to do.
You hire the first one.
139
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:52,596
Don't hire assistants because they're
cute. Do it because they're qualified.
140
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,598
Uh-huh.
141
00:07:56,017 --> 00:08:00,353
I hear you. You make a lot of sense.
Can I just say one more thing?
142
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,813
Look how pretty.
143
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,941
Let me see.
144
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,944
Oh, my God.
145
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,489
Oh. But, no.
146
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,950
No. You can't... You can't hire him
because it's not professional.
147
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,746
Um, this is for me, yes?
148
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,708
Okay, you're right.
I'll hire Hilda tomorrow.
149
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:24,711
Dumb, old, perfect-for-the-job Hilda.
150
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,546
Let me see.
151
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,467
Wo-ha-ow!
152
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,761
Don't show this to Monica.
153
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:35,388
And don't tell her
about the "Wo-ha-ow!"
154
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,064
- Ha, ha, hey, Joey.
- Hey, Terry.
155
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,525
- Nice to see you again.
- Been a while.
156
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,569
Funny, these halls look smaller
than they used to.
157
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,155
It's a different building.
158
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,449
So...
159
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,202
...Stryker Ramoray, huh?
160
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,704
- When do I start?
- How about right now?
161
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,331
Okay.
162
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,042
Here are the audition scenes.
163
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,215
I thought you
were offering me the part.
164
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:11,550
Why?
165
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,177
I was Doctor Drake Ramoray,
Stryker's twin brother.
166
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,387
[CHUCKLES]
167
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,056
Who looks more like me
than me, right?
168
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,434
Everybody has to audition. Ha, ha.
169
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,147
You know, Terry,
I don't really need to do this.
170
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:29,067
I got my own cable TV series...
171
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,528
...with a robot.
172
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,448
I'm sorry, Joey.
That's the way it is.
173
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,617
Well...
174
00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:40,787
...I guess you think
you're pretty special, huh?
175
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:44,499
Sitting up here in your fancy,
small-halled building...
176
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,587
...making stars jump
through hoops for you, huh?
177
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,338
Well, you know what?
178
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:55,010
This is one star whose hoop...
179
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,429
This is the star the hoop...
This hoop...
180
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,639
I was Doctor Drake Ramoray!
181
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,858
Hi, Tag. What are you doing here?
182
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,528
I came to thank you for not laughing
in my face yesterday.
183
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,198
I noticed there were no plants
so I brought you your first.
184
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,743
There is a plant in your office.
185
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,953
Kind of.
186
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,705
Right.
187
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,042
So I guess I shouldn't put
"good at noticing stuff" on my résumé.
188
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,251
Oh...
189
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,629
- Thank you.
- Anyway...
190
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,922
...I'm guessing you hired somebody.
191
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,799
Well...
192
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,426
Gotcha.
193
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,928
Thanks again for meeting with me.
194
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,057
But I hired you.
195
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,019
- What?
- Yeah, you got the job.
196
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,229
- You're my new assistant.
- I am?
197
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,898
Yeah.
198
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:54,361
- I can't believe it.
- Ha, ha, me either.
199
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,448
First, I need you to go downstairs...
200
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,451
...find a woman named Hilda,
and tell her to go home.
201
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,458
- Hey.
- Hey, good, you're home.
202
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,961
Always nicer to hear than,
"Oh, crap, you again."
203
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,882
Hey, sweetie, I made you a surprise.
204
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,967
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, tacos.
205
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:21,179
Ever since that story,
I've had such a craving.
206
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,308
Did you not understand the story?
207
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,229
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?
208
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,816
Ah, nothing. Just figuring out
what to do for dinner.
209
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,612
Hey, ooh, what's that? Dinner stuff?
210
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,822
- You making dinner?
- No.
211
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:40,156
[OVEN PINGS]
212
00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:41,366
CHANDLER:
Shh!
213
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,370
What's over there? Tacos?
214
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,705
No. No.
215
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:47,956
[BOTH LAUGH]
216
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,874
They're just, uh... They're...
217
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,335
They're ground beef smileys.
218
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,630
Uh, those are tacos.
219
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,383
Excuse me, Mr. Mexico.
220
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,137
Either way, I'll pass.
Still can't eat those.
221
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,097
Ha, ha.
222
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,142
[MONICA GIGGLING]
223
00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,063
What's so funny?
224
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,529
I'm not laughing.
225
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,121
[MONICA GIGGLES]
226
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,956
You told her!
227
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,542
Nancy Thompson's getting fired.
228
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:40,759
Okay, okay. I had food poisoning.
It's not like I chose to do it!
229
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,888
It's not like I said,
"What would make this ride more fun?"
230
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:49,684
Right. You're right, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't be laughing.
231
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,312
I should be
laying down papers for you.
232
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,234
- How could you?
- I had to. We're getting married.
233
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,945
Married couples can't keep secrets.
234
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:04,073
I... I guess Monica should know
about Atlantic City.
235
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,950
Du... ude!
236
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,913
- What happened?
- Chandler and I are in a bar...
237
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,540
Did you not hear me say, "Du... ude"?
238
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,711
- And this girl
is making eyes at Chandler.
239
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:21,716
So he goes over to her and, uh, after
a minute or two, I see them kissing.
240
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:26,429
You're thinking he's not the type
to go to bars and make out with girls.
241
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,681
And you're right.
He's not the type...
242
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:33,061
...to go to bars
and make out with "girls."
243
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,773
You kissed a guy?
244
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,399
[MONICA LAUGHING]
245
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,151
Oh, my God!
246
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:44,572
In my defense, it was dark
and he was a very pretty guy.
247
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,159
Oh, Mon, I laughed so hard...
248
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:52,539
Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out
your underwear again?
249
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:56,626
Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.
250
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,800
- Hi.
- Hey.
251
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,760
How's Hilda working out?
252
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:11,391
Oh, my new assistant
is working out. Yes.
253
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,226
She happy she got the job?
254
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:18,940
My new assistant is very happy
that I hired my new assistant.
255
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,400
[PHONE RINGS]
256
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,360
Hello.
257
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,946
Oh, hey! Can you hang on a second?
258
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,240
It's the producers at
Mac and C.H.E.E.S. E...
259
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,325
...if you'll excuse me for a minute.
260
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:35,498
Hey, funny you should call. I was
just looking over next week's script.
261
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,001
Canceled?
262
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,462
Like, they're taking it off the air? Oh.
263
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,925
All right, I'll see you Monday.
264
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,720
We're not even shooting them anymore!
265
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,973
All right. Bye.
266
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,976
They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
267
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,936
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, sorry, Joey.
268
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,939
Why would they do that?
It was a good show, right?
269
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,746
You want to tell secrets?
Okay, in college...
270
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,123
...Ross used to wear leg warmers.
271
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,791
[MONICA LAUGHS]
272
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:24,505
All right, Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice
look-alike contest and won.
273
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,468
Ross came in fourth and cried!
274
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,470
Oh, my God!
275
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,723
Oh, is that funny?
You find that funny?
276
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,809
Maybe Chandler should know
your secrets too.
277
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:39,270
Ha, ha.
Oh, I... I already told him everything.
278
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,105
You shush!
279
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,359
Once, she was sent to bed
without dinner...
280
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,570
...so she ate the macaroni off
a jewelry box she'd made.
281
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:54,077
Ross stayed home every Saturday night
to watch Golden Girls.
282
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,165
Monica couldn't tell time
until she was 13.
283
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,503
It's hard for some people!
284
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,922
Of course it is.
285
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,132
[WHISPERS]
Wow.
286
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:11,678
- Chandler wore my underwear to work!
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Hey!
287
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:16,474
Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't think
of any more for Ross.
288
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,476
In college, Chandler got drunk...
289
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,728
...and slept with the lady
who cleaned our dorm.
290
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,980
[MONICA LAUGHS]
291
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,564
That was you.
292
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:24,774
[MONICA LAUGHS]
293
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,695
Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.
294
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,491
How could this happen to me?
295
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:38,454
Yesterday, I had two TV shows.
Today, I got nothing.
296
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,541
Wait a minute,
what happened to Days ofour Lives?
297
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,877
Uh, well, they might be a little mad
at me over there.
298
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,546
What happened?
299
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:51,968
Well, maybe I got a little upset, and
maybe I told them where they could go.
300
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,679
Joey, why would you do that?
301
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,390
Because! They wanted me to audition.
302
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:01,019
You, an actor? That's madness!
303
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,319
Rachel Green's office.
304
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:13,865
Tag.
305
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,575
Hi, who was that?
306
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:19,078
Nobody. I was just practicing.
307
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:20,538
Really?
308
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,206
[CHUCKLES]
309
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,088
- Hi.
- Hi, Rachel Green's office.
310
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:32,800
- You must be Hilda.
RACHEL: Ahem.
311
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,054
He's Tag. This is Phoebe.
312
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,181
- Phoebe, can I see you for a sec?
PHOEBE: Mm-hm.
313
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,515
- Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Mm-hm.
314
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,851
- Great name.
- You like that?
315
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,729
- You should hear my phone number.
- Okay.
316
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,279
So you hired yourself
a little treat, did you?
317
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,657
I know how it looks,
but I am telling you...
318
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,410
You can't get involved
with your assistant.
319
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:04,373
I know that, and I know hiring him was
not the smartest thing I've ever done.
320
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,376
But, from now on,
I swear this is strictly professional.
321
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:08,586
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
322
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,046
- Yes.
- Hey, Rachel.
323
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,255
RACHEL:
Hi.
324
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,050
Cute assistant. What's his story?
325
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,552
- Is he...?
- Gay? Yeah.
326
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,349
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
327
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,602
Hey, Terry.
328
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,104
TERRY:
Joey Tribbiani.
329
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:30,024
Surprised your big head
could fit through our small halls.
330
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,361
TERRY: I gotta go, Joey.
JOEY: Wait, Terry! Look, uh...
331
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,530
I'm really sorry about before.
332
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,991
I was an idiot, thinking I'm too big
to audition for you.
333
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,452
- Give me another chance.
- I can't.
334
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,496
Wait, Terry, please!
335
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:46,707
Look, I just lost my other job, okay?
336
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:50,128
You have no idea
how much I need this.
337
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,879
Please, help me out.
338
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,173
For old times' sake.
339
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,803
This guy's been in a coma
for five years. It's hopeless.
340
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,056
It's not. Dr. Stryker Ramoray
is a miracle worker.
341
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,349
Here he comes.
342
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,643
Good morning.
343
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:16,487
Drake, it's your brother, Stryker.
Can you hear me?
344
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,030
DIRECTOR:
And cut.
345
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,032
[BUZZER BEEPS]
346
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,118
I'm back, baby!
347
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,327
[LAUGHS]
348
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,675
You know, in my defense, um...
349
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:41,512
...there was no glitter on
the macaroni and very little glue.
350
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:45,516
And in my defense,
the cleaning lady came on to me.
351
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,979
- Do you have trouble telling time now?
- No.
352
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,940
- Quick, what time is it?
- Time to kiss a guy?
353
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,738
What are you laughing at, Pampers?
354
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,285
You know when I said
married people...
355
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,371
...should share everything
and not have any secrets?
356
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,458
- Yeah?
- That was stupid. Let's not do that.
357
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,709
MONICA:
Oh.
358
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,169
Absolutely.
359
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:17,465
We should keep the stuff we told
each other secret from everyone else.
360
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,550
CHANDLER: Ha, ha.
- Yeah, definitely.
361
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,011
Okay, ha, ha.
362
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,680
If you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna hang out with people...
363
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,350
...who don't know
the Space Mountain story.
364
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,854
- Then I'd steer clear of Phoebe.
- Man!
365
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:37,818
Not that you would, but I wouldn't
hang out with the guys at my office.
366
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,078
[KNOCKING]
367
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,705
Hi.
368
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:51,791
[DOOR CLOSES]
369
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,418
- Do you have a minute?
- Sure. What's up?
370
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,506
I got asked out twice today
while I was at lunch...
371
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,466
...by guys.
372
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:03,970
- Really?
TAG: Yeah.
373
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,597
Did you tell someone that I was gay?
374
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,142
Oh, did you not want people
to know that?
375
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:16,190
I'm not gay. I especially wouldn't
want you to think I was gay.
376
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,276
Why is that?
377
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:23,698
- I don't think I should say.
- Oh, you can say.
378
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:29,203
Come on, I don't want you to feel
like you can't tell me things.
379
00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,082
- Okay.
- Okay.
380
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,918
- Well...
- Yeah.
381
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,671
...I'd love to ask out
your friend Phoebe.
382
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,467
Yeah, she's gay.
383
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,600
[English - US - SDH]
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