Original subtitles

13 Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives.

It's home to things way beyond

your imagination. There's an extra-terrestrial super computer in the wall,

a genetically engineered boy genius in the attic,

a schoolgirl investigator across the road

and a whole universe of adventure right here on the doorstep.

Ready? Always.

Prepare to meet the Mona Lisa.

The Mona Lisa has been stolen!

This is the Mona Lisa. But it can't be.

When I act like a real teenager you want me to be perfect again.

The way the Bane made me!

It's weird enough for Sarah Jane, we should call her.

No, we don't need her, we can do this ourselves.

What is that? That is my brother.

Sarah Jane! Mum! And that

is how she'll stay forever.

What have you done with her?

Do you not like it? I mean I know art is subjective.

But I think she looks as pretty as a picture.

Well, most pictures. I think we can all agree I'm in a different league.

Yeah, too right. Mmm, ta.

He didn't mean it as a compliment!

And you're just jealous.

Get my mum out of that painting!

Now! So you can say "Sowwy"?

What? Well, only an hour ago you didn't need her.

Nothing gets past me, kids.

You were all, "We can do this ourselves."

Leave him alone!

Not such the hero now, eh?

Don't worry, young man. Your mother is perfectly safe...

just like Miss Trupp here. As soon as Mona Lisa

has found her brother, she will release them both, I'm sure.

Her brother? It's... another painting.

I think.

- You mean that? - Oh, boy, have we got trouble.

Too right, sugar. If you know what's good for you, I'd butt out.

I can't do that. Whatever you're doing, my mum was going

to stop you... and that means now I have to.

Aw, couldn't you just eat them, Harders?

They're so sweet and they think they can handle me.

And you wanna know why? Because we can!

Come on,

let's go! Luke! What are you doing?!

I keep forgetting I've got legs now. My painting! My mum!

Don't worry, Harders...

I've got it covered.

Hold up!

- It's OK... they're not following. - Have you got any idea how

she could've done this? No, I don't understand any of it.

Well, we'd better work it out. Fast.

The Mona Lisa has existed for five centuries. There must

be a reason she's come to life and it has to be about this gallery.

Most likely, whatever is roaring its head off down there like a caged bear

with gut ache. Her brother.

THUD

What was that? You heard it, too?

I thought I was just getting ringing in my ears.

Where did he come from?

William Bonneville's painting, The Dark Rider.

Painted 1802.

I thought you didn't know anything about art?! I don't.

But I remember everything I see. I can't help it! Ssssh!

Run! This way!

He's right behind us!

He's a picture... shouldn't he be firing paint balls?

Yeah, well... two flintlocks, two shots. He's out of ammo. Come on.

It's a picture come to life... He can fire as many times as he likes!

Run!

Clyde!

Split up he can only go for one of us!

Clyde, no!

He won't harm them, will he?

They're just children. They can't do anything to stop you.

Well, aren't you a sweetie, Harders?

All worried about the little kiddie-winkies.

But they're children. You must have had children!

Children? Have you seen how small that frame of mine was?

Not much room for a family in there! I meant before. The real Lisa.

Now look here, Harders...

Let's get this straight.

I AM the Mona Lisa.

Not that dreary Italian housewife that sat for Leo.

She laughed like a camel and farted like a donkey.

That enigmatic smile everyone bangs on about?

Wind. So you get your head around this, Harders,

because I won't say it again.

I am the painting come to life!

The most beautiful painting in the world.

The legend made flesh.

Finally, you're getting it.

Now, let's go and find my brother!

GROWLING

What kind of art could possibly make that noise?

What kind of art is that?

That's not art. That's a window.

That's the real world.

What's it like?

Outside.

Well, it's roomier than in here.

And some of it has grass on.

Show me.

Show me what I've missed.

Show me the sky.

Open it.

I want to see...

I want to touch...

There's so much of it.

An entire world to walk.

No!

I've not been released from wood and paint to be trapped

in here! This is such a cheat!

We could make a home for you here.

Well, this wing is being refurbished.

It could be yours.

A suite, a whole floor,

you could live here.

A thinking, breathing work of art!

I don't want to be a work of art!

Where is the fun in hanging on walls?

He's speaking to me.

Yes, my brother in living paint.

Of course. I see.

Once we are united,

we will both be free

and nothing will stand in our way.

Not gallery walls or pathetic humans!

I hope Clyde's OK.

Clyde can look after himself. Yeah.

Euch, that woman's face is everywhere.

We have to find a way to release Mum.

Why did we have that stupid row about my room?

Because that's what happens. Sometimes

parents, they just get on your case.

Mum and me, we've never argued before.

Don't worry, Luke.

You'll get a chance to make it up.

He has spoken.

Now I know who my brother is.

He is a work so terrible

that no-one has laid eyes on it since it was first created!

No, it can't be... That's just a legend.

A story the cleaners and night staff scare each other with...

It doesn't really exist.

My brother and I have waited all these years to be brought together.

Five centuries, Harders.

And now you

are the man for the job.

So you take me to him, and we will set him free!

Mona Lisa's looking for her brother.

Another painting in the gallery with some sort of connection to her.

Could that be why she's come to life... the two of them so close?

It's the logical explanation.

Perhaps if we can find it before she does, we can stop her.

There has to be something in these books to help.

And now he calls to me, from the vaults below...

and now look what we have to bring him...

After five centuries, he might just feel a little bit peckish.

What is that thing?

Tell him, Harders. A painting that shouldn't exist.

And now it's time for a viewing.

Bring him!

There's nothing.

No clue to any painting linked to the Mona Lisa or Leonardo.

What about a painting that isn't supposed to exist?

What? A legend.

A painting too terrifying to be exhibited, even to look at.

The Abomination.

The story says that it was painted by Giuseppe Di Cattivo,

known in 15th Century Florence as the Artist of Nightmares.

So he didn't paint fluffy lambs and bunny rabbits, then?

Even at the time his paintings

were considered disturbing, an affront to Creation.

The Abomination was said to have been his masterpiece.

"But when Guiseppe saw what he had painted, a terror gripped him.

"He realised no-one could look on his creation without losing their sanity.

"And he locked the painting in a special case, made with wood

"from a hangman's gallows to keep the Abomination

"from human eyes for all eternity."

He secured the case with a complex Chinese puzzle-lock.

The next morning he was found in his Florence apartments

beside the wooden case.

He had gone completely insane.

"The secret of the puzzle was

"lost to his ravaged mind, and the painting has never been unlocked."

Isn't that just a corker of a story?

Except it's not just a story, is it?

We're about to find out.

The gallery took possession of a collection of

Giuseppe's works in Victorian times.

This is the door to the vaults. You don't really think this is

all going to work out happily ever after, do you?

Ever since man first drew on cave walls, all any artist ever

wanted to do was breathe life into what they created.

Can't you appreciate the wonder of what has happened today?

Can't you appreciate that she's nuts?

Standing right here, boys.

Right, Harders,

you first.

Giuseppe Di Cattivo...

Why does that name mean something? I don't know.

I do know one thing.

He was in Florence. And that's where Leonardo painted the Mona Lisa.

Plus, earlier she said something about Leonardo using

paint from his "weirdo neighbour".

That's it! That's where I've seen the name before! Come on!

Leonardo da Vinci and Giuseppe di Cattivo were both in Florence...

and must have used the same paint for both pictures.

That still doesn't explain how both of them are coming to life.

Paint is a mineral pigment held in oil.

What if the minerals came from a rock that fell from space?

A meteorite? Like the one that created Odd Bob the Clown.

An energy that survived on emotion.

For five centuries they were apart and inactive. Dormant.

Bringing them together has brought them to life.

Clyde said it sounded like a caged bear and that's exactly what it is.

And we think the Mona Lisa is bad news. Look! Clyde's bag.

Don't worry.

We can stop this.

I've never been as far inside the old vaults before,

it's filthy.

You don't say.

But the stories say the Abomination is down here somewhere.

Well, I don't see my brother!

If you're playing games with me, Harders,

I'll feed you to him, as well,

feet first!

I think that's your brother calling. GROWLING

Move it!

Once she's unlocked her brother, she'll be finished with you.

Helping her isn't going to make any difference.

Believe me, we're both going to get abominated.

I know. But what can I do now?

GROWLING

If you ask me he doesn't seem all that pleased to see you.

Show some respect for my brother in living paint.

Cos once he's out of there... then you'll see some fireworks!

Lisa, you can't do this!

He's right, you can't. What's this, Harders?

Remember where you left your backbone all of a sudden?

No.

The puzzle-lock is missing.

Where is it?!

Giuseppe's Chinese puzzle-lock. I knew I'd seen it.

I remember everything I see.

I don't really get art.

Whoa, it's an art gallery.

But I knew this was something else.

Not art.

Part of a complex locking mechanism. Part?

This is the key to the Abomination.

Somehow, it was separated from the painting and catalogued by

the gallery as just another work of art.

No-one ever realized what it really was.

But if Mona Lisa wants to free The Abomination she's going to need this.

And we can use that to force her to release Mum.

You're going to bargain with her? It's a nice idea, kid.

But I don't do deals.

Not while I'm packing heat.

Go fetch.

If you fire that blaster at us, you'll destroy the puzzle-lock.

That's why I'm not going to fire it then.

Unless you do something stupid like smash the puzzle. Which you won't.

Because I've got your friend, Clydey.

Where is he? What have you done to him?

Don't worry. He's all right.

But you'd better give me the puzzle-lock.

Now it's me you're bargaining with.

What?!

I've been a fool. Well, I could've told you that any day.

Now give me the puzzle. I thought you were wonderful.

I dedicated my professional life -

no, my life - to bringing you to this gallery.

I know, I know, you're my Number One Fan...

..now give me the puzzle-lock.

Not until you have released Miss Trupp, and this young man's mother.

Oh, you can threaten me with your ray gun, it makes no difference.

I'm responsible for this mess.

It's time I took a stand.

You won't. You wouldn't dare.

All these pretty pictures are too precious to you...

all that history, all the colours...

No!!!

ABOMINATION GROWLS

Oh, you're so gonna wish you hadn't done that,

well, for about a second, anyway!

No! Don't!

There's another way to release the Abomination. I can help you!

You?

Luke?

But first you have to take me to Clyde.

So, did you know Dick Turpin, then?

You don't say a lot, do you?

Of course you can't talk...

you only got painted with that mask.

You don't have a mouth.

A highwayman that can't say "Stand and deliver".

Not much of a highwayman, really, are you?

Clyde! Guys!

I knew you'd show up.

Trouble is, I've still got Silent Bob here.

SOMETHING SNARLS

Oh, and him.

Oh, ey up, I do love a good reunion, me.

Now whatever it is you're going to do, you get on with it.

SHE TUTS

My brother's becoming restless.

What's going on? Luke's got a plan.

You're going to release the Abomination. I'm what?!

Mr Harding destroyed the puzzle lock. You can draw a new one.

I can?

OK. I can. But why would I?

Mona Lisa will make the picture real and use it to unlock the Abomination.

Which will then rampage across Earth and everyone that sees it will go mad or die.

Probably both.

I want Mum back. You can't trust her.

Even I realise that now.

He's right mate. You know, Clydey, this Sultana blaster.

I think you mean Sontaran.

Woteva! It hasn't seen much use, that could easily change.

Do it, Clyde. She can't use the photograph.

She has to use something that's been drawn, something that's been invested with human energy!

Luke, are you sure about this?

I know you're upset, but this seems wrong.

Sarah Jane wouldn't want us doing this. It's not her way.

You're right. I'm not doing this Mum's way.

This is my way. Draw it. Please.

Just do it.

That's the way, Clydey.

Now you make this your best work, in fact,

you make it a masterpiece.

I can't believe you're doing this. Just trust me.

ABOMINATION GROWLS

My brother in living paint!

Your wait will soon be over,

and then your reign of fire and sulphur shall begin.

And the world will be a rage of flames at our feet.

You have to stop this, Mona Lisa.

I thought you wanted to experience the world, not destroy it?

What use is that to me?

A world of flowers and trees,

or ablaze with fire and torrents of molten lava?

That's it! You mustn't do this, Clyde. Tear it up! No!

It's finished. I'm sorry.

And now it is time to release my brother!

Give it to me.

Oooh, that's not bad, Clydey, that's not bad at all.

I hope you know what you're doing, my padawan.

You've gone right over to the dark side.

I have it! I really hope you know what you're doing!

Here, my brother... your deliverance!

You are free!

It's coming out!! Don't look at it!

My brother!

K9? Now! What is that?

Where did you come from?! Who let that metal mutt in here?

Don't mess with my dog, Lisa!

No!!!

No, my brother. Don't abandon me. No!

Maximum pigmentation dispersal.

I'm not having this!

K9...look out!

What's happening! You...shoot 'em!

NO!!!

Everything it did is being reversed.

Oh, good work, K9! Thank you, Mistress Rani.

I can't go back into that frame!

I won't! You've got no choice.

Please! That room that you promised me.

A living work of art, that's what you said.

I'll do it! I'll do anything if you let me stay here and you let me live...

He can't help you, Lisa.

No-one can. You're going back to the way Leonardo created you...

paint and board.

But I've always been able to think...

and to feel... And you still will.

Just back in your painting. Where you belong.

I want to be flesh...

NO!!!

NO!!!

And that's the last of her, I hope.

With the Abomination destroyed, she's never coming back.

K9, my man...

He was just a drawing too?!

From my sketchbook.

It was the picture underneath.

Luke wanted me to draw it so when Lisa brought the lock into existence,

she brought K9 to life, too.

You mean you knew what he was up to?! Of course I didn't.

But I trusted him.

My man!

Come on, we've got to find Mum.

Mia bella.

Miss Trupp!

Mum!

Oh, Luke!

You're safe!

Where's he going?

Oh, Miss Trupp!

Phyllis!

I've...had the most bizarre dream.

So have I.

The most bizarre, frightening dream for 25 years.

When true happiness was right there under my nose.

Call me Lionel.

Lionel?

Call you Lionel? It's my name, Miss Trupp.

I mean, Phyllis.

My first name.

I know it's your name,

"Harders".

Mona Lisa dumped you, did she?

I'm sorry. I don't understand. Oh, I heard you. "Mia bella!"

That...trollop imprisoned me. And you were all over her!

You... You...

art tart!

Phyllis!

Wait...please! Uh-oh!

Looks like you've painted yourself into a corner there, Harders.

A living consciousness imprisoned like that.

I almost feel sorry for her.

Almost? Well, you can go off someone when they trap you in a picture.

But I knew you three would be there for me.

I knew you wouldn't let me down. Well, it was all down to Luke, really.

I know. And I am so proud of you.

My wonderful, clever, resourceful, dependable son.

And messy? Oh, yes, that as well.

But then nobody's perfect.

Yeah, look at Mona Lisa.

And I'll sort out my room when we get home. I promise.

And while you're doing that, Clyde and I will be having a little chat about Sontaran blasters.

Slitheen! They're back.

Slitheen back on Earth, it means mayhem.

Switch it off, boys! I won't ask you again.

No chance! Stand back, Miss Smith!

But who are you? We are Blathereen.

This little plant could save millions of lives.

Do you really think we can trust the Blathereen?

Let her go! No!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media

Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk