Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

AND SO LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE SAYS, "JUMPIN' JEHOSHAPHAT!

"THE CROOKS ARE HEADED FOR THAT NICE MR. DEACON'S RANCH.

WE BETTER GO TELL THE CHIEF OF POLICE."

AND SANDY, HER DOG, SAYS, "ARF!" WHAT?

"ARF." YOU KNOW, WHAT HE SAYS WHEN SHE AGREES

WITH SOMETHING SHE SAYS, HE SAYS "ARF"?

OH.

PA? HOW OLD IS LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE?

OH, ABOUT 42, 43 ALREADY.

LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE?

NO, THE COMIC STRIP'S THAT OLD.

LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE'S ABOUT YOUR AGE, I GUESS.

OH.

SO, ANYWAY, THE DOG, SANDY, SAYS, "ARF!"

OPIE, YOU SHOULD BE GETTING DRESSED.

ANDY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SIT THERE READING A PAPER.

WE SHOULD GET STARTED.

PREACHIN' DON'T START TILL 11:00.

IT'S BOUND TO BE CROWDED WITH THAT VISITING PREACHER.

JUST 'CAUSE HE'S FROM NEW YORK.

IT'S BECAUSE HE'S FAMOUS AND EVERYBODY'S READ HIS BOOK.

I AIN'T.

WELL, ALL YOU READ --

I HOLD WITH REV. TUCKER. HE'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

WE'VE BEEN TAKIN' FROM REV. TUCKER

FOR A GOOD MANY YEARS NOW, AND I AIN'T ABOUT TO CHANGE.

ANDY, THEY'RE BOTH ON THE SAME SIDE!

REV. TUCKER INVITED HIM AND HE WANTS A BIG TURNOUT

SO HE'LL MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.

GO ON, OPIE, GET DRESSED. YOU, TOO, ANDY.

I'LL CALL CLARA AND TELL HER WE'LL PICK HER UP,

AND I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT SHE'S GOING TO WEAR.

YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA WEAR.

I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO FIND OUT IF SHE'S GOING TO WEAR IT.

SHE DIDN'T!

HOW CAN SHE DENY IT?

EVERYBODY KNOWS SHE'S BEEN HENNA-RINSING FOR YEARS.

A NATURAL REDHEAD -- MY FOOT!

SHE'S BEEN RINSING SO LONG, HER TEMPLES ARE HENNA-COLORED!

YOU STILL ON WITH CLARA?

WHAT DID I CALL YOU ABOUT?

OH -- WE'RE GOING TO CHURCH AND WE'LL PICK YOU UP.

BY THE WAY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE WEARING?

COME ON, AUNT BEE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT EARRINGS?

DO YOU THINK THEY'RE TOO MUCH?

YES, I KNOW IT IS SUNDAY,

BUT THIS PREACHER'S FROM NEW YORK.

AUNT BEE, COME ON.

I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE, EITHER,

BUT I'VE ALWAYS IMAGINED THEM WITH EARRINGS.

I'M READY, PA!

I DON'T WANT TO WEAR THEM IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WEAR THEM.

ME AND OPIE AIN'T WEARIN' ANY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I KNOW REV. TUCKER WANTS US TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.

PLAY IT SAFE AND JUST WEAR ONE.

IF THE OTHERS DON'T,

WE'LL GO BEHIND THE BUSHES AND TAKE THEM OFF.

HOW ABOUT PERFUME?

YOU CAN TALK IT OVER AT CHURCH, IF WE EVER GET THERE.

EXCUSE ME, CLARA, ANDY'S SHOUTING AT ME.

I'M GOIN' TO PREACHIN'. YOU COMIN'?

I HAVE TO GO, CLARA, CALL ME LATER IN THE WEEK.

OH, NO, I'LL BE SEEING YOU!

WE'LL BE COMING RIGHT OVER.

CAN WE GO NOW?

I'VE JUST BEEN SITTING HERE WAITING FOR YOU.

* HOLY SPIRIT, POWER DIVINE

* FILL AND NERVE THIS WILL OF MINE *

* BY THEE, MAY I STRONGLY LIVE

* GREATLY THERE

* AND ALWAYS THINE

* HOLY SPIRIT, RIGHT DIVINE

* KING WITHIN MY CONSCIENCE REIGN *

* BE MY LORD AND I SHALL BE

* FIRMLY BOUND

* FOREVER FREE

* AMEN

WE ARE GREATLY HONORED TODAY.

IT IS OUR HAPPY PRIVILEGE TO WELCOME TO OUR MIDST

A VERY DEAR FRIEND OF MINE --

DR. HARRISON EVERETT BREENE OF NEW YORK CITY.

DR. BREENE HAS INTERRUPTED HIS VACATION TO JOIN US

IN WORSHIP THIS MORNING AND TO BRING US, I KNOW,

AN INSPIRING MESSAGE.

DR. BREENE...

THANK YOU, DR. TUCKER.

AS I STOOD THERE DURING THE SINGING OF THE HYMN,

I ASKED MYSELF, "WHAT MESSAGE HAVE I TO BRING

TO THESE GOOD PEOPLE OF MAYBERRY?"

AND I WAS REMINDED OF AN INCIDENT.

A YOUNG MAN CAME TO ME RECENTLY

AND SAID HE, "DR. BREENE,

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF IT ALL?"

AND I SAID TO HIM, "YOUNG MAN, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED."

MY FRIENDS, I WISH MORE OF US FOUND THE TIME

TO ASK THAT QUESTION.

WHITHER, WHITHER ARE WE HEADED?

AND WHY...

...WHY THE SENSELESS RUSH,

THIS MAD PURSUIT, THIS FRANTIC COMPETITION,

THIS PACE THAT KILLS?

WHY DO WE DRIVE OURSELVES AS WE DO?

IN OUR FURIOUS RACE THESE DAYS TO CONQUER OUTER SPACE,

ARE WE NOT, PERHAPS, FORGETTING INNER SPACE?

SHALL WE FIND THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE

BY FLEEING FROM IT?

CONSIDER,

CONSIDER HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES TODAY.

EVERYTHING IS RUN, RUN, RUN.

WE BOLT OUR BREAKFAST, WE SCAN THE HEADLINES,

WE RACE TO THE OFFICE.

THE FULL SCHEDULE AND THE SPLIT SECOND --

THESE ARE OUR GAUGES OF SUCCESS.

WE DRIVE OURSELVES FROM MORN TO NIGHT.

WE HAVE FORGOTTEN THE MEANING OF THE WORD "RELAXATION."

WHAT HAS BECOME OF THE OLD-FASHIONED WAYS,

THE SIMPLE PLEASURES?

WHO CAN FORGET, FOR EXAMPLE, THE OLD-FASHIONED BAND CONCERT

AT TWILIGHT ON THE VILLAGE GREEN?

THE JOY, THE SERENITY OF JUST SITTING AND LISTENING?

THIS IS LOST TO US,

AND THIS WE SHOULD STRIVE TO RECAPTURE --

A SIMPLE, INNOCENT PLEASURE.

AND SO I SAY TO YOU, DEAR FRIENDS,

RELAX...

SLOW DOWN...

TAKE IT EASY.

WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?!

WHAT INDEED, FRIENDS, IS YOUR HURRY?

LOVELY SERVICE, DR. TUCKER, JUST LOVELY.

AND THE SERMON WAS MAGNIFICENT.

SIMPLY MAGNIFICENT!

DR. BREENE, MAY I INTRODUCE SHERIFF TAYLOR?

AND HIS AUNT, MISS BEE, MISS JOHNSON,

AND THIS IS DEPUTY FIFE.

OH, DR. BREENE,

YOUR SERMON HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL LESSON FOR US.

YES, SIR, YOU REALLY HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD THERE.

YES, SIR, THAT'S ONE SUBJECT

YOU JUST CAN'T TALK ENOUGH ABOUT -- SIN.

YES, WELL, UM...

WE'D BE HONORED TO HAVE YOU FOR DINNER.

I WISH I COULD,

BUT I DID PROMISE TO DRIVE OVER TO MOUNT PILOT

THIS AFTERNOON AND PREACH A SERMON.

BUT ON MY WAY BACK THIS EVENING,

I'LL STOP BY AND HAVE COFFEE WITH YOU.

OH, THAT WOULD BE MIGHTY NICE!

WE'LL LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU.

IT'S GOOD TO HAVE MET YOU ALL. BYE-BYE.

HE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT SIN.

WE REALLY PACKED IT AWAY, DIDN'T WE?

WE REALLY DID.

I KNOW I DID.

YEAH, I ATE WAY ON TO TOO MUCH.

WAY TOO MUCH! MMM!

IT'S GOOD TO EAT, THOUGH.

YEAH. YEP.

YEAH, WE REALLY PACKED HER AWAY.

YEAH, BOY.

FORTUNATELY, NONE OF MINE GOES TO FAT.

IT ALL GOES TO MUSCLE.

OF US FIFES. THAT'S A MARK

EVERYTHING WE EAT GOES TO MUSCLE.

SEE THERE?

I SEE.

MY MOTHER WAS THE SAME WAY.

SHE COULD JUST EAT AND EAT AND EAT AND EAT AND EAT.

NEVER WENT TO FAT, HUH?

MNH-MNH.

KNOW WHERE IT WENT?

MUSCLE.

YEAH. THAT WAS A MARK OF US FIFES.

GOOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT I BELIEVE I'LL DO?

RUN DOWN TO THE DRUGSTORE

AND GET SOME ICE CREAM FOR LATER.

YOU WANT ME TO GO? I'LL GO.

NO, I'LL GO.

I DON'T MIND GOIN'.

I DON'T, EITHER. I'LL GO.

YOU'RE PROBABLY TIRED. WHY DON'T YOU LET ME GO?

NO, I'M NOT TIRED. I'LL GO.

I SURE DON'T MIND GOIN'.

ARE YOU SURE?

MM-HMM.

WHY DON'T WE BOTH JUST GO?

OKAY.

ARE YOU READY?

Mm-hmm.

WELL, LET'S GO.

WHERE ARE WE GOIN'?

DOWN TO THE DRUGSTORE TO GET SOME ICE CREAM FOR LATER.

OKAY.

COME ON.

ANDY?

WHERE ARE YOU BOYS GOING?

WE THOUGHT WE'D RUN DOWN TO THE DRUGSTORE

AND GET SOME ICE CREAM FOR LATER.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUN DOWN TO THE DRUGSTORE

AS IF IT COULDN'T WAIT?

THAT'S JUST WHAT THE PREACHER

WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS MORNING.

IT SEEMS NOTHING CAN WAIT.

EVERYTHING IS RUSH, RUSH, RUSH.

HEY, ANDY.

HEY, GOMER.

HEY, AUNT BEE. HEY, GOMER.

HEY, BARNEY. HEY, GOMER.

WHERE ARE YOU HEADED?

I THOUGHT I'D RUN OVER TO MY COUSIN GOOBER'S

AND WATCH HIM WASH HIS CAR.

THERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE --

RUN, RUN, RUN.

EXACTLY WHAT DR. BREENE WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS MORNING.

PEOPLE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO RELAX.

SHE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW THAT?

SHE IS.

SIT DOWN, GOMER.

CRAZY, I GUESS I JUST WASN'T THINKIN'.

REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO HAVE THEM BAND CONCERTS

LIKE DR. BREENE WAS TALKING ABOUT?

OH, YES, THAT WAS RELAXING, WASN'T IT?

SITTING AROUND SUNDAY EVENING, LISTENING TO MUSIC.

I'M KINDA SORRY WE DON'T HAVE THE TOWN BAND ANYMORE.

I SURE WISH WE HAD IT AGAIN.

YEAH.

ANDY?

HMM?

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD?

COULD WHAT?

ORGANIZE THE BAND AGAIN?

I DON'T KNOW.

BET YOU COULD IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.

YOU KNOW, THE BOYS MIGHT ENJOY GETTIN' TOGETHER AGAIN.

OF COURSE THEY WOULD.

UNIFORMS NEED A BIT REPAIRIN',

BUT I COULD CALL CLARA AND SHE COULD HELP ME FIX 'EM UP.

WELL, I'D HAVE TO GET THE BOYS TOGETHER.

WELL, FINE.

THE BANDSTAND'S LAYIN' OVER THERE IN A JUNK HEAP.

IT'LL NEED SOME CARPENTERIN'.

I'LL LEND YOU A HAND.

WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT GETTIN' UP A BAND CONCERT BY TONIGHT!

WHY NOT IF WE ALL PITCH IN?

GOMER AND ME WILL GET STARTED ON THE STAND!

I'LL BORROW SOME TOOLS.

WE COULD GET STARTED ON THE UNIFORMS.

I'LL JUST GO OUT THE GARAGE AND GET MY HORN.

WELL, LET'S GO!

COME ON, LET'S GO SEE GOOBER.

WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE A BAND CONCERT --

TONIGHT!

BANDSTAND'S GONNA BE A LOT MORE WORK THAN WE THOUGHT.

IF WE STICK WITH IT, WE CAN GET IT DONE,

THEN WE'LL JUST HAUL HER OVER TO THE TOWN SQUARE.

WHAT YOU GOT?

THAT'S A POSTER I MADE UP TO PUT ON THE SQUAD CAR.

YOU KNOW, LET FOLKS KNOW.

YEAH!

"CONCERT TONIGHT -- RELAX TO MUSIC UNDER THE STARS."

YOU LIKE THAT? I MADE THAT UP.

GOOD, GOOD.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT BE CLOUDIN' UP, THOUGH.

WELL, I COULD CHANGE IT TO "MUSIC UNDER THE CLOUDS."

"MUSIC UNDER THE SKY"?

WELL, IT'S OUTDOORS, THAT'S OBVIOUS.

HOW ABOUT I JUST LEAVE THAT PART OUT ALTOGETHER?

WHAT DO YOU GOT LEFT HERE?

YOU GOT "CONCERT TONIGHT -- RELAX TO."

HOW ABOUT JUST "CONCERT TONIGHT"?

WHEN THEY HEAR THE MUSIC THEY'LL KNOW IT'S A CONCERT.

AND THEY'LL KNOW IT'S TONIGHT, TOO, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

FORGET THE POSTER?

I WOULD.

HEY, ANDY.

HEY, GOMER, DID YOU GET GOOBER?

GOOBER WOULDN'T COME, BUT HE BORROWED US THESE TOOLS.

I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN USE 'EM.

HE DON'T WANT NO STRANGERS USIN' 'EM, ONLY A RELATIVE.

OH, BROTHER.

NO, IT DON'T HAVE TO BE.

IT CAN BE A COUSIN LIKE ME.

I MEANT -- OH, SKIP IT.

WHY WOULDN'T GOOBER COME?

IS HE STILL WASHING HIS CAR?

UH-HUH. I BEGGED HIM TO,

BUT HIM AND HIS MA IS GONNA GO VISITING,

AND HE SAID HE WOULDN'T PUT HIS MA IN A DIRTY CAR.

JUST LIKE DR. BREENE SAID,

EVERYTHING'S RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, RUSH.

GOOBER SAYS HEY, THOUGH.

HEY TO GOOBER.

GRAB AHOLD, GOMER. LEND US A HAND.

GRAB AHOLD OF WHAT?

WELL, WE GOT TO PROP UP THE TIMBERS

AND GET THE SAG OUT OF THE MIDDLE.

YEAH, IF SHE'S GONNA GO, THAT'S WHERE SHE'S GONNA GO.

WE GOT TO CRAWL UNDER THERE SOMEHOW

AND HEAVE UP ON THE TIMBERS AND WEDGE THIS IN.

WHY DON'T WE USE A JACK? WE GOT ONE IN THE CAR.

BARN, THAT'S AN INSPIRATION.

HERE, I GOT TO GO SEE

HOW AUNT BEE'S COMIN' WITH THE UNIFORMS.

TAKE CHARGE HERE.

OKAY, GOMER, YOU HEARD WHAT ANDY SAID.

I'M IN CHARGE. LET'S GET CUTTIN'.

YOU CRAWL IN UNDER THERE AND I'LL GO GET THE JACK.

RIGHT.

IT'S DAMP UNDER THERE.

COULD BE SPIDERS.

NOW, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THERE'S SPIDERS UNDER THERE?

'CAUSE IF I WAS A SPIDER, THAT'S WHERE I'D GO.

GOMER, THERE'S NO SPIDERS UNDER THERE.

NOW LET'S GET MOVIN'.

I DON'T KNOW.

IT SURE LOOKS SPIDERY TO ME.

THERE'S NO SPIDERS UNDER THERE!

NOW WILL YOU STOP WORRYIN'?!

LOOK, ARE WE GONNA DO THIS OR AIN'T WE?

WE ALL AGREED WE WANTED TO HAVE A BAND CONCERT TONIGHT.

IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN IF YOU JUST STAND AROUND.

BUT, BARNEY --

GOMER, GET DOWN THERE WITH THEM SPIDERS AND START WORKIN'!

WELL, I'M BACK.

OH, ANDY.

SOMEBODY I KNOW UNDER THERE?

CAN I GO, PA?

I'M TIRED OF BEING THE TAILOR'S DUMMY.

IN A LITTLE WHILE. BE JUST A LITTLE PATIENT.

I GOT YOU ANOTHER SEWING MACHINE AT LOUISE PALMER'S.

GOOD, I HOPE IT WILL DO SOME GOOD.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

THESE UNIFORMS ARE IN TERRIBLE SHAPE,

BUT WE'LL DO THE BEST WE CAN.

YOU NEED ME FOR ANYTHING ELSE?

I GOT TO GET BACK TO BAND PRACTICE.

NO, NO. GO ON.

CALL ME IF YOU NEED ME.

BEE, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO RESTITCH

EVERY ONE OF THESE SEAMS.

CHEAP THREAD, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

AND WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? MILDEW.

YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT MILDEW.

DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE CONDITION THE UNIFORMS ARE IN.

I DIDN'T STORE THEM, YOU KNOW.

WELL, NEITHER DID I.

I DIDN'T SAY YOU DID,

BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANY WORK DONE

IF WE STAND AROUND ARGUING LIKE THIS.

I HAVE BEEN WORKING,

BUT I CAN'T PERFORM A MIRACLE!

CAN I GO NOW, AUNT BEE?

NO, YOU CANNOT!

NOW STAND STILL.

MILDEW!

[ PLAYING "THE BLUE DANUBE WALTZ" OFF

HOLD IT, BOYS.

HOLD IT, FELLAS.

HOLD IT!

BOY, I KNEW WE WAS OUT OF PRACTICE,

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WE WAS THAT MUCH OUT OF PRACTICE.

LUTHER, YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE NOW AND THEN.

WHAT SAY?

I SAY YOU'RE LATE!

YOU'RE DRAGGIN'!

YEAH, IT SOUNDED REAL GOOD TO ME, TOO.

NO, LUTHER, IT WAS OFF. IT WAS WAY OFF.

HOW'S THAT?

IT WAS OFF!

YES.

NOW, LET'S TRY TO GET TOGETHER THIS TIME.

LET'S TAKE IT AGAIN,

AND LET'S DO IT BETTER.

WHAT'D YOU SAY, ANDY?

I SAID LET'S TAKE IT AGAIN,

AND THIS TIME, LET'S DO IT BETTER!

YES, IT SOUNDED REAL GOOD TO ME.

READY?

1, 2, 3, PLAY.

[ PLAYING "THE BLUE DANUBE WALTZ" OFF

HOLD IT.

HOLD IT. HOLD IT.

HOLD IT.

HOLD IT.

LUTHER, HOLD IT!!

HUH?

WHAT'D YOU SAY, ANDY?

WHAT'D YOU STOP US FOR?

WE WAS GOING REAL GOOD THAT TIME.

WE GOT THE SPIRIT, ALL RIGHT.

WE JUST GOT TO GET TOGETHER ON THE TUNE.

I'M TOGETHER. IT'S HIM.

DON'T TELL ME! I'M PLAYING WHAT'S WROTE HERE.

YOU READ THE NOTES! YOU READ 'EM!

ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT, BOYS.

ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT, BOYS.

HOLD IT. LOOK, BOYS, HOLD IT!

I TOLD YOU BEFORE WE STARTED THAT WE COULDN'T DO IT.

I KNOW WHAT YOU TOLD ME, CLARA.

BUT IT DIDN'T HURT TO TRY, DID IT?

IF YOU ASK ME, IT WAS JUST A WASTE OF TIME.

WELL, I DON'T THINK SO.

LADIES, LADIES, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

IT'S NO USE, THESE UNIFORMS ARE TOO FAR GONE.

LOOK AT THIS.

AND THE OTHERS ARE EVEN WORSE.

I TOLD YOU IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

I KNOW WHAT YOU TOLD ME, CLARA!

WE WORKED AND WORKED, BUT WE JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

OH. WELL, THAT'S A SHAME, BOYS.

IT LOOKS LIKE NO UNIFORMS.

I WISH I'D HAVE KNOWN, ANDY.

I SURE CAN'T PLAY WITHOUT A UNIFORM.

YOU SURE CAN'T PLAY WITH ONE.

NOW HOLD IT. HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

PIPE DOWN, GOMER, JUST PIPE DOWN.

IT WAS YOU AND YOUR JACK.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

DON'T TELL ME YOU GOT BAD NEWS, TOO.

OH, IT'S ABOUT THE BANDSTAND.

WHAT ABOUT IT?

YOU TELL HIM. YOU DID IT!

I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN'!

YOU AND GOOBER'S HAMMER!

IT WAS YOU AND YOUR JACK.

I TOLD YOU I HEARD SOMETHING --

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE WAS UNDER THERE, AND YOU KNOW HOW DARK IT IS?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE HIT,

BUT IT MUST'VE BEEN HOLDING UP THE WHOLE SHEBANG.

I DIDN'T GO TO HIT NOTHIN'. I TOOK A WHACK AT A SPIDER.

I TOLD YOU THERE WERE SPIDERS UNDER THERE.

ANYWAYS, IT BEGAN TO CREAK AND RUMBLE, AND THEN -- PBBHHT.

THE WHOLE THING?

ANY CHANCE OF PROPPIN' IT UP AGAIN?

IT'S A WHOLE DAY'S WORK, AND I'M TOO POOPED TO START.

WELL, I'M TOO POOPED, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

AND I DON'T SEE HOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAND CONCERT

WITHOUT A BANDSTAND.

Aunt Bee: AND THEY'LL HAVE NO UNIFORMS.

Clara: I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T HAVE ANY UNIFORMS.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

NOW HOLD IT. HOLD IT.

HOLD IT, EVERYBODY! HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

WE CAN STILL PRACTICE.

PRACTICE?

OH, READY TO GO AGAIN, ANDY? YEAH!

[ PLAYS "THE BLUE DANUBE WALTZ" OFF

WELL, NOBODY CAN SAY

WE DIDN'T AT LEAST TRY TO HAVE A CONCERT.

NO, THEY SURE CAN'T SAY THAT.

SPIDER BITE.

I DON'T WANNA SEE NO SPIDER BITES!

NOW, DON'T YOU ALL START THAT AGAIN!

WELL, GOOD EVENING, FOLKS.

NO, NO, NO, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T GET UP.

YOU LOOK SO COMFORTABLE.

I SAID I'D STOP BY ON MY WAY BACK

AND HAVE SOME COFFEE WITH YOU,

BUT NOW I'M AFRAID I WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

OH, WHAT A SHAME!

IT LOOKS AS IF MY SERMON THIS MORNING HAD SOME EFFECT.

HOW'S THAT?

WELL, LOOK AT YOU ALL, SO NICE AND RELAXED --

A PICTURE OF CONTENTMENT.

YES, YOU ALL LOOK AS SERENE AND RELAXED AS IF,

WELL, AS IF YOU'D JUST FINISHED LISTENING

TO A PLEASANT BAND CONCERT.

YES! WELL, GOOD, GOOD.

I'M HAPPY TO SEE IT.

IF YOU FOLKS WILL EXCUSE ME,

I HAVE TO RUSH BACK TO NEW YORK NOW.

GOODBYE AGAIN.

GOODBYE. BYE. BYE.

OH, REVEREND?

WE AIN'T RELAXED.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE'RE POOPED.

YOU SEE, WE TRIED TO ORGANIZE --

GOMER!

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

OH, NOTHING, REVEREND.

GOMER WAS, UH, GOMER WAS JUST SAYIN', UH,

WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?

OH.

YES, YES!

'BYE, REVEREND.

'BYE. GOODBYE.

WE'LL SEE YOU.

YES.