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1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:05,295
Okay, Rach,
that's muffin and espresso, 4.50.
2
00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:10,009
Ross, double latte, 2.75.
Chandler, coffee and a scone, 4.25.
3
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,885
And, Pheebs, herbal tea, 1.25.
4
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:15,597
So all together that's 12.75.
5
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:20,227
This coming from the man who couldn't
split our $80 phone bill in half.
6
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,895
- Hi.
- Hi.
7
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,772
How much do I owe?
8
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:27,109
Oh, that's on the house,
courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
9
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,237
Oh. Great. Well, tell him thanks.
10
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:35,284
And since Joey seems like such a nice guy,
maybe we could go on a date sometime?
11
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,995
Well, he's not used to women
being so forward...
12
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,081
...but I could check with him.
He says it's okay.
13
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,624
[CHUCKLES]
14
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,252
Great. Thanks. Bye-bye.
15
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,796
Hey, Joey, how come our stuff isn't free?
16
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,216
It will be when you look like that
in a tight skirt.
17
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,802
This is great.
I'm getting more dates than ever.
18
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,805
Wait, you're only giving away free stuff
to the pretty girls?
19
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,099
Joey, that is so gross.
20
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,186
Hmm. How about a scone
on the house, baby?
21
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,355
I'm pretty.
22
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,651
- Hey, does anyone have any gum?
- Oh, I do.
23
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,822
Here. Sorry.
24
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,741
Oh, you know what?
25
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:01,703
No.
26
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,832
Wait a second.
27
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,590
- I know it's in here somewhere.
- You know what? I'm good. I'm good.
28
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,134
- Hey.
ROSS: Hey.
29
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,719
What are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be at work?
30
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:21,014
[IN CONGESTED VOICE] They sent me home.
They said I can't work if I'm sick.
31
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,349
ALL:
Aw.
32
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:25,477
- I'm so sorry that you're sick.
- I'm not sick.
33
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,563
I don't get sick.
34
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:31,024
Getting sick is for weaklings.
It's for pansies.
35
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,194
Honey, no one thinks
that you're a pansy.
36
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:37,197
But we do think that you need a tissue.
37
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,327
I have not been sick in over three years.
38
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,579
[SNEEZES]
39
00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:49,543
- I'm gonna grab you some tissue.
- I don't need a tissue. I'm fine.
40
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:54,631
When you put a D at the end of "fine,"
you're not fine.
41
00:02:55,925 --> 00:03:00,804
I'm fine.
42
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,224
You know, it's a really hard word to say.
43
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,018
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
44
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:19,948
CHANDLER: Yes?
- Hi. Is Rachel here? I'm her sister.
45
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,784
- Oh, my God, Jill.
- Oh, my God, Rachel.
46
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,244
Oh!
47
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,538
Oh, my God, introduce us.
48
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,707
- This is Chandler.
- Hi.
49
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,250
And you know Monica and Ross.
50
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,753
JILL: Hi.
- And that's Phoebe, and that's Joey.
51
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,755
- Hey. How you doing?
- Don't.
52
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,304
- Honey, what are you doing here?
JILL: Oh.
53
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,639
Which sister is this?
54
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:46,850
Is this the spoiled one
or the one that bit her?
55
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,479
- Daddy cut me off.
- Never mind, I got it.
56
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,147
And you know what I said to him?
57
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,567
I said, "I'm gonna hire a lawyer,
sue you and take all your money...
58
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,361
...and then I'm gonna cut you off."
59
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,031
- What did he say?
- He said he wouldn't pay for my lawyer.
60
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,366
Ah.
61
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:05,077
Then he told me to come
and learn the value of money...
62
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,870
...from the one daughter he's proud of.
63
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,455
Oh.
64
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:14,086
Did you hear that? My dad's proud of me.
My dad's proud of me. Ha, ha.
65
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,630
- Rach?
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
66
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:20,175
Hey, honey, so, what did you do
that made Dad cut you off?
67
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,304
- Okay, I bought a boat.
- You bought a boat?
68
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,225
Yeah, but it wasn't for me,
it was for a friend.
69
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,852
Boy, did we make friends
with the wrong sister.
70
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:36,566
Jill, I think this is the best thing
that could've ever happened to you.
71
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,860
You've needed to get out
on your own anyway.
72
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,613
And you know, when I did it,
at first I was scared...
73
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,073
...but then look at me now.
74
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:46,576
I am the only daughter
that Dad is proud of.
75
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,747
Okay, well, this is what you're gonna do.
You're gonna get a job.
76
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,750
You're gonna get an apartment.
And I'll help you.
77
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,545
You can stay with us.
Right? She can stay with us?
78
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,298
- Of course, yeah.
- Oh, that's so great.
79
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,135
Okay, I'm really gonna do this.
I don't know how to thank you guys.
80
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,512
Aw. I like cars.
81
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,228
- You all finished here?
- Yes.
82
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,980
Great.
83
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,278
- Okay, here are the tips for this morning.
JOEY: Mm.
84
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:25,449
Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes $8.
85
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,328
- What?
- For all the free food you gave away.
86
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,289
Well, if it's free food,
how come you're charging me for it?
87
00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:36,460
We don't give anything away
unless it's someone's birthday.
88
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:40,297
Oh. What if they came in third
in a modeling contest?
89
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,634
- No.
- Oh. Sorry.
90
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:51,350
I just had the hardest day.
Some of these are so heavy.
91
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,979
Jill, how did you pay for all this?
I thought your dad took your credit card.
92
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,690
Oh, please,
I memorized those numbers when I was 15.
93
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,025
[JILL CHUCKLES]
94
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,111
But look at all the cool
make-it-on-my-own stuff I got.
95
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,281
This is my "Please hire me" sweater.
96
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:10,577
And these are my "Don't you want
to rent me this apartment?" pants.
97
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:16,500
I don't think charging clothes to your dad
qualifies as making it on your own.
98
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:20,170
Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical.
99
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,298
I don't think Rachel's gonna think
it's a good idea.
100
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:27,636
- So who made her queen of the world?
- I would love that job.
101
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,390
- Hey. What's going on?
- Hey.
102
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,850
Jill.
103
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,560
Did you shop?
104
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,813
No.
105
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,189
They did.
106
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,443
- Yeah, we went shopping.
- Yeah, we went shopping. Yeah.
107
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,530
You went shopping?
108
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:49,616
Then you came in here
and paraded it right under Jill's nose...
109
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,284
...when you know she's trying to quit.
110
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,787
Wow. You guys, that's terrible.
111
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,372
- Sorry, Jill.
- Sorry, Jill.
112
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,082
It's okay.
113
00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,919
- So, what did you get?
- Oh, well, all right. I got... Thank you.
114
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,756
I got, um, this, you know,
"I want a job" sweater.
115
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,383
RACHEL:
Oh.
116
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:11,888
And then I got, uh...
These are apartment pants.
117
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,850
Apartment pants?
118
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,769
Yeah, you've never heard of them?
119
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,772
No, of course.
Of course I've heard of them.
120
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,942
- Ross, what did you get?
- Huh?
121
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,404
I got this...
122
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,281
This.
123
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:34,244
- A pashmina?
- Yeah.
124
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,457
Oh, I love these babies.
125
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,545
- Really?
ROSS: Mm-hm.
126
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,088
Ross, what's a pashmina?
127
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,425
It's a rug.
128
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,511
Jill?
129
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:52,888
[SOBBING]
130
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,098
I'm sorry, Rachel.
131
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,059
Oh, come on,
you really think that's gonna work on me?
132
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:00,187
I invented that.
133
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,523
Oh, right. But I am sorry.
134
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:07,360
All right, it's okay.
One little setback is okay.
135
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:10,822
- But don't let it happen again, all right?
- Okay.
136
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:15,327
Now, since Daddy paid for all this stuff,
I should take it all away.
137
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,788
But I'm just gonna take the pashmina.
138
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,668
And the pants.
139
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,797
You know what? I'm just gonna take it all,
because that way, you'll learn the lesson.
140
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,050
Alrighty.
141
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:34,179
I'm gonna run a couple of errands,
and I will see you at dinner.
142
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,680
[JILL SIGHS]
143
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,226
She took all my stuff.
144
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:43,271
Yeah. Everything but the little blue one.
145
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,481
[GASPS]
146
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,690
That's the best one.
147
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:50,820
- Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
- Oh. Well, hey.
148
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:54,741
Oh, my gosh, that was so lame.
Like a pashmina could be a rug.
149
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,409
Oh, yeah?
Well, how about you with the:
150
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,619
[SOBS]
151
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,580
- [IN FALSETTO VOICE] "I'm sorry."
- Shut up. I wasn't like that at all.
152
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,792
What about what I said, you know,
about the apartment pants?
153
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,544
How dumb was I?
154
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:11,841
- Were you this cute in high school?
- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, stop.
155
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,177
- No, you stop.
- No, you stop.
156
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,387
You stop.
157
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,890
Okay, why don't I sit here
and then you'll both stop it?
158
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,897
Okay, so, what do you wanna do?
Let's do something crazy.
159
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,192
I know, let's rest and drink lots of fluids.
160
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,653
Okay, I'll rest.
161
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:36,366
But, you know, if I'm going to bed,
then you're coming with me.
162
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,909
[MONICA SNIFFS]
163
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:42,956
See, that would be impossible to resist
if you weren't all drippy here.
164
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,713
Are you saying
that you don't wanna get with this?
165
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:57,512
Yeah, I don't think you should say that
even when you're healthy.
166
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,641
Oh. Come on.
167
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,060
[MONICA COUGHING]
168
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,812
Don't take this personally, okay?
169
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,024
It's just that I just can't have sex
with a sick person.
170
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,192
I'm with you, Chandler.
171
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,362
I can't have sex with a sick person either.
That's disgusting.
172
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:17,073
But I'm not sick. Let me prove it to you.
173
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,622
We are two healthy people
in the prime of life.
174
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:27,083
See, that's the thing.
I would like to stay in...
175
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,502
[IN CONGESTED VOICE]
...the prime of life.
176
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:33,715
Hey.
177
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,216
- Hey.
- What's up?
178
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,595
Um, I think there's something
you should maybe know.
179
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,805
It better not be
about the apartment pants...
180
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:46,061
...because I just pitched the idea to
my boss at Ralph Lauren, and she loved it.
181
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,855
No, no. It's just, I was, um...
182
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,066
I was with Ross and Jill after you left...
183
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:54,694
...and I'm pretty sure
I saw a little spark between them.
184
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,822
- What?
- Yeah, I mean, it's probably nothing.
185
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:01,368
But I just wanted to warn you
that there might be something there.
186
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,536
- With Ross and Jill?
- Yeah.
187
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:06,039
With Ross and my sister?
188
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:08,833
Yeah.
189
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,337
With my sister Jill
and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
190
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,713
Yeah.
191
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:16,591
- Oh, there is no way.
- Okay, then.
192
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,678
Oh, my God. I cannot believe that.
193
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:23,348
I don't really like it when Ross goes out
with anyone, but my sister?
194
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,475
Isn't that like incest or something?
195
00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:32,023
Oh, my God, and they're gonna have sex.
Oh, no. What if he marries her too?
196
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,818
Oh, this is just terrible.
This is just terrible.
197
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,320
And I can't stop it.
I don't own Ross, you know?
198
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,615
And Jill, she should be able
to do whatever it is she wants to do.
199
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,618
Oh, my God, I can't believe Ross
is marrying my little sister.
200
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:44,828
This is just...
201
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:49,290
Oh, my God, this is just the worst thing
that could've ever happened to me.
202
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,836
But great news
about the apartment pants, huh?
203
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,798
That'll be 3.85.
204
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,884
What do you mean?
Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay.
205
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:03,847
It's just I can't,
because my manager said that I...
206
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,476
[SINGING]
Happy birthday to you
207
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,937
Happy birthday to you
208
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,149
- Happy birthday, dear Annie...
- Amy.
209
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,484
Amy
210
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,653
Happy birthday to you
211
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:22,157
- Hey.
- Hey, that's weird, today's my birthday too.
212
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,409
Yeah, not in here it isn't.
213
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,497
Sorry I'm late. What's up?
214
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,583
Oh, hey. Uh...
215
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:36,045
You know, I just wanted to see if there were
any leads on the old job front.
216
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:39,257
Oh. No. But I just walked past three sales
and I didn't go in.
217
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,301
- How strong am I?
- Oh.
218
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,678
That is great.
219
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,264
Hey, you know
who doesn't have to job-hunt?
220
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,976
- Ross. He works at the university.
- Yeah?
221
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:54,105
Oh, so you know that? You guys talked?
So you get along? So you're gonna go out?
222
00:12:55,775 --> 00:13:00,111
Me go out with Ross? No. God, no.
What would make you think that?
223
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,864
It's just Phoebe...
224
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,493
...said she, you know, thought she saw
something between you guys.
225
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,453
- No. I mean, he's nice.
RACHEL: Yeah.
226
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,040
He's the kind of guy you're friends with
but not the kind of guy you date.
227
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:16,002
I mean, he's the kind of guy you date,
because you did, but me?
228
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,129
Hmm, not so much.
229
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,133
Oh, not so much? What do you mean?
230
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,677
I mean,
is there something wrong with Ross?
231
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,554
Oh, no, no, no. He's just...
232
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,682
I don't know.
You know, he's just a little bookish.
233
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:34,437
- Are you saying he's a geek?
- You think so too?
234
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,732
No. No. Ross is not a geek.
235
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:38,983
[SIGHS]
236
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,902
Fine. Then let's just say he's not my type.
237
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,571
What, handsome is not your type?
238
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:47,951
Smart, kind, good kisser?
What, those things aren't on your list?
239
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,870
Ross is a great guy.
You would be lucky to be with him.
240
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,998
Well, okay, if it means that much to you,
I'll ask him out.
241
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,626
Oh, no, no, no. That's not what I meant.
I was just...
242
00:13:56,794 --> 00:14:01,256
You know what, Rachel? You're right.
You know, he has been really nice to me.
243
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,883
Yeah, but he's not your type.
244
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,052
But maybe that's a good thing.
245
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,429
You know,
I'm doing all these different things.
246
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,474
Maybe I should just try dating a geek too.
247
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,437
Yeah, but you don't, you know...
You don't wanna try too much too fast.
248
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,525
I mean, you do remember what happened
to the little girl...
249
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,986
...who tried too much too fast,
don't you?
250
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,155
What?
251
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,741
She died, Jill.
252
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,291
MONICA:
Chandler.
253
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,379
CHANDLER: What is it, honey?
You need some tea? Some soup?
254
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,966
Oh. Oh.
255
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:52,056
Calling Dr. Big. Dr. Big to the bed.
256
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:56,144
Oh, jeez, honey,
I thought you were asleep.
257
00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:00,899
How could I be asleep
knowing that you were in the next room?
258
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:03,776
I was asleep.
259
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,822
[SHIVERS]
260
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:11,576
Oh, no, no, no, honey.
You know what's sexy? Layers.
261
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:13,536
Layers are sexy.
262
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:17,415
And blankets are sexy.
And, oh, hot water bottles are sexy.
263
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,251
Come on, get into bed.
I wanna prove that I'm not sick.
264
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:23,755
I wanna make you feel as good as I feel.
265
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,757
[SNEEZES]
266
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,427
- Would you please get some rest?
- I'm fine.
267
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,096
[COUGHING]
268
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,645
[SINGING]
Happy birthday to you
269
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:44,359
- You're paying for that.
- What? No, no, it's her birthday.
270
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,278
You've sung "Happy Birthday"
to 20 different women today.
271
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,989
- But it...
- You are no longer authorized...
272
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,617
...to distribute birthday muffins.
273
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,161
Damn it.
274
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,206
Rach.
275
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,083
- Hi.
- Hi. Ahem.
276
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,502
Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
277
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,798
- Well, yeah.
- Oh, wow. I mean, wow.
278
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,675
[CHUCKLES]
279
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,426
I think she's cute...
280
00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:15,098
...but I never would've thought
of going out with her. Never.
281
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:16,849
- Really?
- Yeah.
282
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:20,061
But after you said it was okay,
I figured, why not?
283
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,356
Oh, so not really "never." Heh.
284
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,443
I have to say,
you are a much bigger person than I am.
285
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:30,196
I mean, after all we've been through.
I just...
286
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,865
You know what?
I wish I had a brother to reciprocate.
287
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,409
Aw.
288
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,287
Hey, if you ever wanna go out with Monica,
you have my blessing.
289
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,664
And mine.
290
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:43,668
Chandler?
291
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,254
I think I'm sick.
292
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,589
Really?
293
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:49,799
Struck down in the...
294
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,592
[IN CONGESTED VOICE]
...prime of life.
295
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:57,098
Okay, fine, I admit it. I feel terrible.
296
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,268
- Will you please rub this on my chest?
- Okay.
297
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:04,522
No, no, no.
You are not getting me this way.
298
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:08,901
- Come on, I really need your help here.
- No, no, no.
299
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,531
- Fine, I'll rub it on myself.
- Okay.
300
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,554
So you're just kind of rubbing it
on yourself?
301
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:41,517
- Yeah.
- It's nice.
302
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,480
Are you kidding me?
Is this turning you on?
303
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,482
Yes.
304
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,152
I can't believe it.
Is it the rubbing or the smell?
305
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,905
It's all very, very good.
306
00:17:57,951 --> 00:18:00,495
So you wanna go, uh...
307
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,456
...mix it up?
308
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,127
- Not now, I'm sick.
- Oh, come on, you big faker.
309
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,673
What about your rule
about never sleeping with sick people?
310
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:16,969
Well, that was before
all the vaporizing action.
311
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,224
- Okay, if you really wanna have sex.
- Okay.
312
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,020
Worked like a charm.
313
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,776
- Hi.
- Hi.
314
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,194
What are you doing here?
315
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:37,990
This is where Ross and I are meeting
for our date. So, what do you think?
316
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,827
I don't like it.
317
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:45,289
- Really?
- It's kind of slutty.
318
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,334
It's yours.
319
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,964
Yeah, well, I'm a slut.
320
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,258
Me too.
321
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,388
- Hi, Jill.
- Hey.
322
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,515
Hi...
323
00:19:03,016 --> 00:19:05,184
- Rachel.
- Rachel.
324
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:09,689
Heh. You're not at home,
you're right here.
325
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,440
Yeah, I know.
326
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:15,820
And I bet you thought it would be weird.
But it's not.
327
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,657
[JILL & RACHEL CHUCKLE]
328
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,952
Okay.
329
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,580
So, well, I'll, um...
330
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:27,290
I'll have her home by midnight. Ha, ha.
331
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,500
[LAUGHING]
332
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,672
[SOBBING]
333
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,229
Why aren't you home yet?
334
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,315
MONICA:
Is someone there?
335
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:56,152
Oh, yeah, it's me. Sorry.
336
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,279
CHANDLER:
What are you doing here?
337
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:04,035
Uh, I'm just looking out your window
at the view.
338
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:06,704
What are you guys doing?
339
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:11,000
CHANDLER:
We got some VapoRub in some places.
340
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,879
[RACHEL GASPS]
341
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,840
Oh. He brought her back
to his apartment.
342
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,551
Who?
343
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:25,973
Is that your sister?
344
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:30,186
Ugh. She is a slut.
345
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:34,190
God. Ross is on a date with your sister.
How weird is that?
346
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,984
Oh, my God, look,
he's taking off her clothes.
347
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,528
He's taking off her coat.
348
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:41,948
RACHEL:
Oh, this is just terrible.
349
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:47,203
Oh, no, it's not. It was the first date.
I'm sure that nothing is gonna...
350
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,249
[RACHEL GASPS]
351
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:56,087
Hoo-hoo. He's gonna get some.
352
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,841
Of the glare...
353
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,594
...from the streetlight
out of his apartment.
354
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:07,640
You know,
so, um, he's closed the drapes there...
355
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:13,771
...so he can have a nice pleasant
conversation with your little sister.
356
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,190
Well, I'm off to bed.
27434
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