Original subtitles

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also sfam‘ng Don Knotrs.

"Anybody here know why ‘hese two should not be wed,

"speak now or forever hold your peace.

| now pronounce you mann."

I know why lhey shouldn't be married,

Opie‘ what are you trying lo do?

I'm speaking now

50's I won't have to forever hold my peace,

You ain't supposed to speak.

Then why did he ask?

Well, it's just part of the ceremony, Opie,

You always say speak. but nobody ever does,

Well, I'm gonna.

Why did she have lo marry him for, anyway?

Things was goin' real well.

Rose was the best housekeeper we ever had.

Taught me everything I know.

Opie, dear, I'm marryin' Mr. Pine

because I love him.

I thought you loved me.

I do, Opie.

You don’t catch me marryin’ somebody else.

Don't you fret,

You're not losin' me forever.

I'll come back and visa a lot.

And I want you to be a good boy

and take care of yourself, hear?

Don't you go running across that street

in your stocking feet,

And in the mornin’

I want you to eat all your cereal

and don't leave half the milk.

Okay, lwon‘t leave half the milk.

Good boy,

I'll leave all the milk.

Now, Opie, that's enough,

Now, Opie, I'm your pa

and I'm telling you to hush up.

Well, you told me I could speak now

or lorever hold my peace,

Well, now I’m telling you. if you don't hush up,

you'll be forever holding the seat of your britches.

If he starts to wheezin'...

Now, Rose, Opie's not your problem anymore.

Well, you know, I mean, Aunt Bee's a-comin'

and he'll he took care of.

I know. But she isn't due here for several days.

Are you sure you don’t want me lo stay on?

Yeah!

-What's this? -Now, nothing, Vlfilbur, just nothing at all.

Now, now, now, Rose,

you know you can't send Wilbur off

on a honeymoon by hisself.

Why, that-lhat'd be like

putting a pig in a sty and taking away the mud.

Yeah.

Seems to me there's something wrong

with the way you put that.

Well, hurry up, Andy.

We've got a long trip ahead of us.

Well, now, just don‘t. don't get too excited,

Now, we didn't finish the I-dos yet.

Oh, well, we do.

We sure do.

Well, uh, get your ring all set now.

Get, get ready, Barney,

"Under, uh..."

They ask you to speak up,

then they won’t let you speak up,

Hush up, Opie.

"Under the power..."

First they tell you to speak up. then they tell you to hush up.

Now, Opie.

"Under the power..."

Just 'cause I'm little, nobody cares about me.

Quiet.

"Under the power invested in me

"as Justice of the Peace of Mayberry,

| now pronounce you man and wife."

Give her, give her a little kissy.

That's right.

Get ready now,

Get ready, get ready,

Get you a handful,

Get you some, Opie.

0h.

Opie!

Not the box, just the contents,

And underhand it.

Underhand.

That's right.

Hi, Pa.

Didn't Rose call or nothing?

Well, no. Rose didn't call

and she ain‘t likely to call.

See, she's on her honeymoon.

And besides that,

Aunt Bee‘ll be coming pretty soon.

That’ll bejust like having Rose here.

Will not.

It won't be anything like it.

Nobody/s like Rose.

Well, that's, that's right, too, I reckon.

But, then again, there ain‘t nobody like Aunt Bee either,

What's so great about her?

What did she ever do?

Well, one thing: she raised me

when I wasn't no biggerthan you.

Done a pretty good job. too. wouldn't you saw

That doesn‘t mean that she‘ll raise me good.

Well, now that‘s where you're wrong.

That's where you're wrong right there.

She'll raise you just fine,

and she'll love you just like she loved me,

and, ooh-ee, that’s a mess of loving.

She used... she used to squeeze me so hard,

I'd turn all colors.

That's right.

l was the most loved purple baby you ever saw.

I don't care.

I ain't gonna love her.

Now, Opie, lwant you to stop saying that.

Well, lwon‘t.

lain't gonna love no one 'sides Rose.

Deputy Barney Fife reporting, sir,

with an important message.

Barney, I‘ve told you you don't have to do that,

This ain’t the army.

You see, it‘s just me and you.

Well, shucks, Andy, I want to do good on this job,

Even if it's just delivering messages,

I want to do it right.

Well, I know you do. and I admire your attitude,

You see, Andy, I want the folks in this town

to realize that you picked me to be your deputy because you...

well, you looked over all the candidates for the job

and you judged their qualifications

and their character and their ability,

and you come to the fair, the just,

and the honest conclusion

that I was the best-suited for the job.

And, and I want to thank you. Cousin Andy.

You're welcome, Cousin Barney,

Yes, sir.

And I will tend to my duties as deputy sheriff

and do all that's expected of me.

And if they‘s a message to be delivered,

I'm gonna scoot and I'm gonna see to it

that that message gets delivered,

That's just fine.

Yes, sirree, lwant to get to be knowed

around here as Reliable Barney Fife.

Yes, sir.

Well, got to be getting back to work.

Uh, uh, Barney.

Yeah?

Wasn't there, uh, something about a message?

A message?

Yeah.

Clean forgot about that,

Well, the message is that, uh, Aunt Bee called

to say she‘s coming in tomorrow.

Oh, that's fine, fine, fine, line,

and thank you, Reliable Barney.

Yeah.

Well...

Well, | wish you'd look who‘s up early to greet Aunt Bee.

Pa, look what I done— I set the table,

I poured the milk, I got the eggs boiling.

I'm making a whole breakfast.

Well, you sure are

and doing a fine job, too, yeah.

What's this here?

Your... your water’s hear about boiled away.

Oh, that happened once before.

I better fill 'er up again,

Well, about the...

(sizzling)

Stand back there.

How long you had them eggs in there?

Since I got up« about 45 minutes.

45 minutes?

You think they‘re ready to serve?

Well, I, uh... I wouldn't be surprised.

No, I wouldn't...

especially if you're figuring on playing tennis.

-Huh? ~0h, nothing, nothing, nothing at all,

I... I happen to like 45-minute eggs,

Don't you?

-Pa.,. —Hmm?

Don't this show you something? Don't it?

-Don't it? -Well, show me what?

That we don't need Aunt Bee.

We can get along without her.

I can make breakfast every day.

So when she gets here, you just tell her

to turn right around to go back where she came from.

We don‘t need her.

Okay, Pa?

Well, no, it's not okay.

You see, your Aunt Bee, she‘s doing a mighty big thing

by pulling up stakes and coming down here to live with us,

and, why, why she's...

(knocking)

Oh, I expect that's her now.

Now, listen, listen.

I want you to bejust as nice to Aunt Bee

as you ever been

to anybody in your whole life.

Now, you hear me?

All right, come on.

Andy.

Aunt Bee, come in this house.

I declare, you look beautitul.

Well, you know, we gonna have a time holding on to you.

0h. .

You‘re so pui'ly,

I can't hardly look at you.

Oh, Andy, you hush up,

ANDY: Oh, Opie, this is yourAunt Bee,

Opie.

My goodness, you know. you’re the spittin' image

of your pa when he was your age,

Why, it will be just like raising you all over again,

Come give me a little sugar,

ANDY: Go on now. Give her a little sugar.

Give her some good.

Can I go now, Pa?

Well, go where?

Why, lwas thinking about taking a bath.

You mean to tell me

you're going to take a bath on a volunteer basis?

Now, don't you make fun of him, Andy.

When your pa was your age,

we used to have to practically

sandblast him to get him clean.

He lost four pounds with every bath.

You bet.

Can I? Can I go, Pa?

Well, go ahead.

He's a nice boy, Andy.

I expect we'll get along real well

when we get to know each other.

Oh, well, sure you will.

And, Andy, I do want to thank you for having me here.

You know, all those young'uns I raised,

they‘re all grown up now,

and that's why, when you called,

| just got on my knees and ljust thanked heaven

I had a place to go and I had something to do.

Well, you got a place and sure got plenty to do.

There ain't no use to start right in, though, is there?

Why don‘t you come on in here and freshen up

and we‘ll get a little bit of breakfast?

-You want to? -Mm—hmm

Oh, you like real hard-boiled eggs?

Why, Opie, you haven't even

touched your fried chicken,

and I made it special for you.

Ain't hungry.

Ain't hungry?

Well, remind me to check you when we get upstairs

just to see it you're the same boy

that I've seen wolf down six or eight pieces

without even breathing hard.

Rose made it different.

I'll get us some coffee, Andy.

All right.

And to think I was glad when you learned to talk.

l‘ll, uh... I'll help you, Aunt Bee,

Since you're not going to eat anything,

you might as well go on up to your room.

Yes, sir.

Say, Opie, you know, a funny thing happened.

We come back to clear the table,

and you know that plate of yours

and all the food on it had just disappeared?

Really?

Yeah. And ljust...

Well, I‘ll be dogged.

There‘s your plate.

Right there.

Oh, yeah.

Well, how in the world do you reckon

it got all the way up here to your room

and licked clean to boot?

I think I got a explanation, Pa.

You do?

Yeah. I brought it up for my bird.

ANDY: For Dicky there?

Well, do you. uh, do you mean to tell me

that, uh, tha-that he eats fried chicken

and biscuits and honey?

He loves it.

He does?

See how he cleaned his plate?

You're... you‘re sure you ain't got a buzzard in that cage?

I'm pretty sure.

Uh, Dicky, if I was you,

I wouldn't be doing any tlying tonight

because them biscuits can lay awful heavy.

Uh... say, Opie,

do you reckon that Dicky would like to have

a nice big piece of watermelon for dessert?

Yeah!

God bless my pa and my bird Dicky

and my dog Gulliver and my lizard Oscar,

wherever it is he ran away to,

and Barney Fife and my white mouse

and Jerry and Tommy and Billy and my snake.

Amen.

| forgot somebody very important.

God bless Rose,

even though she ran off and got married,

All right, come on now! Come on! Come on!

Just step right in here.

Now, Emma, I seen ya do it.

Now, I seen ya do it and don't tell me you didn't do it,

and don't think you're going to get away

with that kind of stuff on my beat.

'Cause when you commit a crime in this town,

you pay for it,

and I‘m the one that sees to ityou pay toril

‘cause that's my duty.

Oh, but, Barney,

| always cross Maple in the middle of the block.

Emma, that‘s jaywalkin'

and jaywalkin‘ is agin’ the law.

Now, Emma, you just step right over here.

You got to be booked and fingerprinted. Come on now,

-Fingerprinted?! -That's right, Emma.

Them‘s modern police methods, for heaven's sakes.

Now, give me your thumb there.

Ah, Barney, uh, what, uh, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm booking a prisoner, Sheriff.

Jaywalker.

Barney, you know we don't ever stop Emma.

Why, we figure if she can save a step or two here and there,

why, she'll just be with us that much longer.

Now, you just go ahead on home, Emma.

Oh, thank you, Andy.

Naughty deputy!

Now, why'd you do that, Andy?

Now, you know she was guilty. I seen her do it.

Now she's going to go out

and tell all her friends how she got away with it.

Next thing you know,

people‘s gonna bejaywalking all over the place

and disregarding "keep off the grass" signs and everything.

Why, Mayberry's just going to turn into a regular sin town!

Hi, Ope.

You want us go down to the creek?

No. I got some thinking to do.

Oh, why? You, uh, you got some kind of problem?

Well, lgot something to ask you.

Something important.

Yeah? Well, go ahead.

Can I run away from home?

Uh, you...

you want to run away from home?

Well, now, uh,

if-if-if that's what you got on your mind,

well, you going about it all wrong.

I am?

Oh, yeah. You ain't supposed to ask your pa.

But you always said I should never go anyplace far

without getting your permission.

Well, yeah, I know I did say that,

but, see, running away from home's a little special.

See, what you do in a case like that

is first, you write a note

saying that you're running away,

and then you do it.

You mean to tell me that's all there is to it?

That‘s all.

But I don't know how to write.

That does make a problem.

l'll tell you what—

it you are really bound to run away,

I'll write a note for you.

You will?

Yes, sir.

I'll do it.

Now, let's see, uh,

when was it you wanted to leave?

Right away.

Well, today‘s Wednesday...

let's see, and about how long was you figuring on staying?

-Why? -Oh, never mind.

That stands to reason,

if you run away, you run away forever.

What do you mean?

Now, don't bother me. I'm thinking,

Uh...

"Dear Pa,

"I am running away from home

and you will never see me again."

Pa, what are you talking about?

Why won't I ever see you again?

Well, that stands to reason.

You‘ve run away and I'm right here.

Now, how are we going to see one another?

No!

Well... what did you...

What are you doing that for?

I didn't finish the note yet.

I don't want you to finish,

I don‘t want to run away.

I changed my mind.

Oh... well, I reckon a little boy

gets the right to change his mind.

I don't want to leave you, Pa.

And I don't want you to leave, Opie.

Is it, uh... is it Aunt Bee?

Opie, why can't you put Rose out of your mind,

make room for Aunt Bee?

If you'll give her a chance,

why, pretty soon, you’ll love Aunt Bee

as much as you ever loved Rose.

Aw, Pa, she can't do anything like Rose can.

She can't fish or hunt frogs

or play baseball with me like Rose did.

Gosh.

Now, let me show you a little bit about baseball.

Oh, Andy, I know a lot about baseball.

What do you think I am, a ninny?

Oh, well, good.

We'll be way ahead, then.

What's that?

Oh, well, uh, that's a bat.

Yes, a-and with the bat, you hit the ball, you see.

All right? Now, you just listen to me

and do just exactly what I tell you,

and before you know it, you and Opie'll be closer

than two fleas in a dog's ear.

All right. Now, you ready?

Uh...

Aunt Bee...

I think you‘ve got it wrong.

l-l believe...

I believe you hold it with the little end, see,

and you hit with the big end.

Oh, that makes it easier.

(laughing): Yeah.

-Pa? —Hmm?

If she's such a great fisherman like you been telling me,

how come she fishes with her bait out of the water?

Oh... well, see,

this is littlebit'ly-stream fishing, you see,

and Aunt Bee, she‘s used to deep-sea fishing—

porpoises and flying fish and stuff like that.

You mean you fish for them with your bait out of the water?

Oh, sure...

You see, they come up and meet your pole halfway.

Well... right, Aunt Bee?

Yeah.

You just let her get the hang of it

and she'll be pulling them fish in

hand over fist.

(whimpering)

Aunt Bee, you got one!

Aunt Bee, reel it in!

Reel it in!

ANDY: Yeah. Reel him in, Aunt Bee!

(whimpering)

Why ain't she pulling him in?

Well, uh, see, uh, Aunt Bee is a sportsman

and she's trying to give that fish every chance.

(whimpering)

I believe you‘ve given him enough chance, Aunt Bee,

Reel him in.

(whimpering)

Easy, easy, Aunt Bee.

He's so big, you nearly lost your pole,

(screaming)

What'd you do that for?!

Well, it was too little and she threw it back.

That‘s your Aunt Bee.

A sportsman all the way.

Wake up, Opie.

We‘re at home.

Get ready for bed.

Pa, Dicky is gone.

He is?

Oh, Opie, you left the cage open.

No, I didn‘t.

I never leave it open.

Oh, dear.

Opie, I cleaned out his cage for you this morning

and maybe I didn‘t shut the door light enough.

She did it.

Dicky's lost, and it's all her fault.

(Opie crying)

AUNT BEE: It's too early to wake him, Andy,

I'll just peek in.

J'J‘

| wish you wouldn‘t leave, Aunt Bee.

Maybe if you'd give him a l'ktle more time...

No, Andy. It's much better this way,

Not that I wouldn't give anything

to do the things he likes to do--

play baseball and fish and all, but...

well, he's a very smart little boy,

I couldn't fool him.

And, you know, Andy,

he's going through a very, very hard time.

I know.

I think we'd better get going, hmm?

I'll help you.

OPIE: Pa, Aunt Bee, wait!

Opie! What are you doing out in your pajamas?

Don‘t go, Aunt Bee!

I don‘t want you to!

I want you to stay.

Oh, you do?

Y-You mean it, Opie?

Sure!

Well, what changed your mind?

Well, if she goes, what'll happen to her?

She doesn't know how to do anything—

play ball, catch fish, or hunt frogs...

she‘ll be helpless.

Well, yeah, I guess that’s right.

A woman that don‘t know how to do important things like that,

why, she'd just be lost.

So that's why she‘s got to stay—

so I can teach ‘em to her.

You need me!

Oh, Opie, ldo.

J' You get a line and I'll get a pole, honey I

J‘ You get a line and I‘ll get a pole, babe I

J‘ You get a line and I‘ll get a pole J‘

I And we‘ll go down to the crawdad hole I

J' Honey, baby, mine I

J' Yonder come a man with a sack on his back, honey I

-Pa! Pa! Pal -J' Yonder come a man with a sack on his back. I

-Pal -Whoa, whoa, now. Simmer down now.

You‘re gonna bust something. What is it?

Dicky... he's come back.

He flew into the cage all by himself.

Oh, Opie, isn't that wonderful?

Yes, sir, and I told you he would, too.

And I bet you that I know why.

I bet you that he got out there

flying around with some of them wild birds

and-and-and he saw what kind of,

kind of poor kind of eatin‘ they had—

you know, the berries and little seeds

and little pieces of root and stuff like that--

and he says to hisself, he says,

"I'm going back there to Opie

"where I can get me some more of that

"good fried chicken and biscuits and honey

and stuff like that."

Don't you reckon?

-I reckon. -I reckon so.

-J' Well, you get a line and I'll get a pole, honey I —Honey,

J' You get a line and I'll get a pole, babe J‘

J‘ You get a line and I‘ll get a pole J‘

I And we‘ll go down to the crawdad hole I

J' Honey, baby, mine, I

(whistling sprightly tune)