Original subtitles

♪ Ooh‐ooh‐ooh

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Travel down the road And back again ♪

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal And a confidante ♪

♪ And if you threw A party ♪

♪ Invited everyone You knew ♪

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift Would be from me ♪

♪ And the card attached Would say ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

Hi‐hi.

(sniffs) Ooh!

Sophia, did you make some of your special pizza?

Oh, could I have a piece?

Goody!

Someday soon, I'm going to die.

Okay. Where's the Parmesan?

Hey, Blanche, how was your trip to Chattanooga?

Wonderful as always.

Is there anything that you'd like to tell us about your trip,

like, you know, what you saw, who you did?

I saw my special gentleman friend.

We had a lovely time, and that's all you need to know.

Roland: And?

And, Blanche?

Rose, why won't she tell us who she goes to visit in Chattanooga?

Give it up, Roland. You're never gonna find out that secret.

She's been going there ever since I've known her,

and won't even tell me who she sees there.

Hey, I'll tell you a secret I want to find out.

What does Sophia put in this pizza, man? It's addictive.

‐Roland: Mmm‐hmm. ‐I haven't tasted anything this good

since those brownies I used to make.

Come to think of it, those were addictive, too.

Anyways, man, this pizza's fantastic, you know.

I'd be willing to bet there's a lot of people who think the same way I do.

What are you talking about?

Me and you are always talking about

how there's not a good pizza place around here.

‐Yeah. ‐We could make a fortune with this.

Yeah. But it's not our recipe.

Don't you think she would give it to us?

(chuckles) Chuy, Sophia is Sicilian.

Do you honestly think she's gonna betray her own family?

‐What if I give her 100 bucks? ‐That'd do it.

Right.

May I help you?

Excuse me. May I help you?

Is this Miami?

Well, if it isn't, my mail's been going to the wrong place.

Yes, it's Miami.

I just came from Chattanooga.

I'm looking for Blanche.

Oh, well, Blanche is‐‐

‐Did you say Chattanooga? ‐Uh‐huh.

‐Tad? ‐Blanche!

Tad, what are you doing here?

I came to visit you.

You said so much about the hotel,

I wanted to see it.

(stammers) How'd you get here?

A nice man drove me in a big yellow car.

A big yellow‐‐

Oh, Tad, please tell me

you didn't come all the way from Chattanooga in a...

Hey, someone here owes me 728 bucks.

...taxi.

Did I do something wrong?

You shouldn't have left Chattanooga without...

without telling me.

Come on over here and sit down.

‐Blanche‐‐ ‐I'll get this man some money.

I'll be with you in just a moment.

Blanche, can I watch cartoons?

Yes, yes. Here. Watch cartoons,

but just keep the volume down low.

Blanche, I just want to tell you

‐I think you're wonderful. ‐What?

Now I know who your special gentleman friend is.

Without ever even bragging about it,

you've been traveling to Chattanooga once a month

to help this man who's mentally retarded.

You know something, Blanche, he is lucky to have a friend like you.

Rose, he's not my friend.

He's... my brother.

What do you mean he's your brother?

You only have one brother, Clayton.

Clayton is my baby brother.

Tad is my older brother.

Why didn't you ever tell me?

(chuckles) What was I going to do, Rose,

just casually mention it in passing one day?

Oh, by the way, I have this mentally retarded brother

that lives in an institution in Chattanooga.

It's not something that just naturally comes up in most conversations.

‐Blanche‐‐ ‐Rose, look, this is the way my parents wanted it.

In the South, it wasn't something you talked about.

It was something you whispered about.

So I guess I just got so used to not talking about it

that I just never brought it up.

I can't believe it.

I share everything with you.

I mean, you know all there is to know about my family.

I've told you every single thing there is to tell about St. Olaf.

God, I wish I could believe that.

Tad, are you tired?

Should I get a room ready for him?

Tad's not spending the night.

Oh, he's going back to Chattanooga immediately.

Well, he just got here.

Oh, why don't you let him stay a little while?

Absolutely not.

Oh, come on, Blanche. Just a couple of days.

I mean, I know he'll enjoy it,

and besides, everybody's gonna want a chance to meet him.

(Blanche sighs)

Oh, all right. He can stay,

but just for the weekend.

Can we go find the dolphins?

‐What? ‐Dolphins?

You know Flipper on TV?

Well, every time I see him,

I always want to know what it feels like to touch him.

And Blanche knows a whole group of dolphins here in Miami,

and she's touched every one of them!

(Blanche chuckles)

Why don't I just go call Chattanooga

and tell them what's going on.

Do you know what a dolphin feels like?

No, but my room is right next to Blanche's.

I know what they sound like.

Oh.

Sophia, are you okay?

You seem a little stressed out lately.

I'm 87. I'm playing dodge ball with death.

It makes me a little edgy.

You think a massage will make you feel a little better?

You'd be willing to do that? Oh, it's been so long.

Sure, why not?

Oh, 'cause when you get to be my age,

people don't like to touch you.

I don't understand why.

What's this here?

A patch of psoriasis. Work around it.

Hey, you know, Sophia, I think it's really awful of Dorothy

not to come down here to get your pizza recipe.

In fact, I think it would teach her a lesson

if you gave that recipe to somebody else.

‐You're right. ‐Really?

But it would have to be someone I care about,

and what's even more important, someone who can cook.

You know somebody?

Sophia, I love your pizza.

Please give me the recipe. Please.

I'll protect your legacy, I promise.

Uh... I guess I have no choice.

I've run out of time and I've run out of options.

Chuy, I'm gonna let you have the recipe,

but you have to promise never to reveal it.

Oh, I promise, I promise, I swear.

Good. Now that I think about it, I'm thrilled.

You're the perfect choice

to carry on this grand old Italian tradition.

Oh, my God. A Mexican.

Blanche, did I do something wrong?

No, sweetheart, of course not.

I just think you'd be happier in here,

you know, away from all those guests.

Rose, you don't mind if Tad sits here with you for a while?

No, not at all. Sit down, Tad.

You can help me fold napkins.

Now, I want you to sit here till I get back.

I don't want you playing hide 'n' seek.

I don't want you making any messes.

And especially, I don't want you playing with matches, okay?

both: Okay.

‐So, are you having a good time? ‐I guess.

Here, honey, you just go like this and then like that.

See?

What do you do for fun in Chattanooga?

Well, uh,

I visit my friends at the Center.

And I go to the park.

Oh, and I watch cartoons.

I love cartoons.

I like Scooby‐Doo, and Tiny Toons, and Muppet Babies.

Oh, I love the Muppet Babies. I watch them with my grand‐kids.

You know the one where Baby Kermit

gets sucked into the time machine,

and Baby Fozzie can only save him

if he pretends to be a girl?

That's one of my favorites!

Nobody ever talked with me about cartoons before.

Hey, I don't have much to do today.

Why don't you and I spend the day together?

We can go to the zoo or the museum, anything you want.

I'd like that.

You know, I don't care what my sister says.

I think you're really smart.

Thank you.

I don't care what your sister says either.

I think she's in her early 60s.

She is.

She's my favorite sister.

She sends me stuff at Christmas and my birthday.

You know, Tad, you're very lucky to have Blanche for a sister.

I know.

She's a beautiful creature,

delicate, fragile, and exquisite.

The fairest flower in God's garden.

She made you memorize that, too, didn't she?

So, did you have a fun day today?

I really did. Roland played checkers with me.

‐He's funny. ‐Mmm‐hmm.

And Sophia made me sp...

‐Sp... ‐Spaghetti.

‐Spaghetti. ‐Mmm‐hmm.

And...

And do you know Chuy taught me

how to make funny noises under my arm.

‐He did? ‐Yeah.

I worry about him.

But most of the day, I was with Rose.

We walked on the beach, and we found seashells,

‐and she bought me ice cream. ‐Mmm‐hmm.

‐Blanche? ‐Yes, sweetheart?

Can I tell you a secret?

Well, yes, honey.

You can tell me anything.

I'm not going back to Chattanooga.

You're not?

Why not?

'Cause I'm in love with Rose.

Hello, Blanche. Want some cheesecake?

‐Not so fast, Rose. ‐Okay.

(in slow motion) Hello, Blanche.

Want some cheesecake?

Roland: A good one, Rose.

Rose, Tad just told me he's not going back to Chattanooga

because he's in love with you.

‐Oh, no. ‐Oh, yeah.

I knew I should not have let him stay here.

I knew it. I just knew something like this was gonna happen.

It's not that big a deal.

So he's got a little crush on me. I'll talk to him.

No, you won't.

You'll just make it worse. You stay away from him.

Well, I think you're being a little overprotective here.

Well, maybe so, but it's only because I care so much about him.

Blanche, if you care about your brother so much,

why didn't you ever tell us about him?

Why is everybody on my back about that?

Well, it's not like I'm the only person

in this room with a secret.

Well, am I?

Uh, Chuy.

What?

You just hold it right there. Spill it.

Okay. But, look, you gotta promise it won't leave this room.

‐Okay, I promise. ‐Oh, yeah, man.

(sighs) Well, when I was younger,

I acted in an X‐rated movie.

Get out of here.

I didn't take my clothes off or anything.

As a matter of fact, I didn't even know it was a dirty movie.

I mean, this guy just wanted me to play the part of a bellboy.

And he just said, "Open this door to this room and react."

It wasn't until I rented the video

that I found out what I was reacting to.

I just wish I would have watched it before I sent a copy to my folks.

All right, Roland. What are you hiding?

Okay. Uh...

I'm a...

I'm a big fan of Helen Reddy's.

How big?

You know that part at the end of the performance

when she says she wants to thank her fans,

"Whether they be white, Black, Chinese, Mexican."

‐Yeah. ‐I'm the Black one.

Okay.

I guess it's time for me to tell my deepest, darkest secret.

I once stole candy.

And then killed the store clerk.

Oh, you did not.

I know. But how else am I gonna top porn and Helen Reddy?

And when she sings You and Me Against the World ,

sometimes I pretend I'm You.

Now stop it. You're scaring me.

Okay.

I was born a man.

‐Oh. ‐Come on.

Oh, will someone shut her up?

Those are no secrets. This is a secret.

When I was pregnant with Dorothy,

the doctor came to me in my fifth month and he said,

"Congratulations, Mrs. Petrillo. You're having twins."

Well, I was ecstatic.

Soon, the big day came.

It was a hard labor,

but finally, Dorothy appeared.

And then the doctor prepared for the second baby.

And we waited, and we waited,

and the doctor finally said,

"There is no other baby."

Roland: Mmm.

That is very strange. What do you think happened?

Dorothy ate her.

Sophia, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you

sharing this pizza recipe with me.

Shall we cut it up now?

No, we can't touch it until we finish the ceremony.

Oh.

First, you must drink from the cup of the past.

Mmm. Not bad. What is this?

The blood of my mother.

Sophia!

It's tomato juice.

Haven't you ever heard of symbolism?

Now, eat from the plate of the dead.

What is this?

The bones of my father.

No, really. What are these? Ginger snaps?

Uh... yeah.

Ginger snaps.

Okay. Now the last thing and the most important.

‐You take a little vino... ‐Mmm‐hmm.

...and you sprinkle it

on top of the pizza.

And that's it.

Now you know the recipe. Guard it with your life.

‐I will. ‐I know you will.

You're a good son.

Sophia, wait.

I really feel ashamed of myself.

I only wanted your pizza recipe

because I was going to use it to make money,

but now you've made me feel like I'm a part of your family,

so I don't want to be the one to break tradition.

You are part of my family now.

You mind if I call you Pussycat?

I'd like that.

You tell anybody this recipe,

you'll be neutered, Pussycat.

Good morning, Rose.

Good morning, Tad. Did you sleep well?

Uh‐huh.

I, I brought you something.

It's a rose, because your name is Rose.

What's the matter? Don't you like it?

Tad, why don't you sit down? I want to talk to you.

Did I do something wrong?

Oh, no. Of course not, sweetheart.

That's good...

Sweetheart.

Uh, Tad, have you ever had a girlfriend before?

Sure. A couple of girls at the Center,

but they're not like you, Rose.

They're not like you at all.

(stammering)

Rose, I thought I told you to stay away from him.

I just thought it would be easier if I told him.

‐Told me what? ‐How dare you go against my wishes like this?

‐Blanche, please. ‐Told me what?

Oh, Tad, I don't quite know how to say this...

What she's trying to say is that she doesn't love you,

and we're going to stop pretending that she does.

‐Blanche! ‐(Tad breathing heavily)

‐I didn't do anything wrong. ‐Oh. Tad.

‐You said I didn't do anything wrong! ‐Tad, let me explain.

‐I did, you said it. I heard you. ‐Tad, shh.

‐And I didn't do anything wrong. ‐Hey. Guests will hear you.

‐I didn't do anything wrong! ‐Stop, Tad.

What's going on? Tad, Tad. Don't, don't.

‐I didn't. ‐Hold on. Tad, it's okay.

You want to come in here with me and Chuy

and help us make some breakfast?

‐You want to do that? ‐I didn't do anything wrong.

I know. That's okay. Come on.

Come on. Right here.

If had just just let me handle this.

Don't you dare point your finger at me, Rose Nylund.

This is all your fault!

Tad has never acted like that with me before.

And look where we are.

What if some of the guests were here to see that?

Guests? Your brother just had his heart broken,

and all you can think about are the guests?

Are you really that selfish?

I am thinking about Tad.

I do not want him subjected to the cruel stares of strangers.

You're the one who doesn't want to be subjected to those stares.

How can you say that?

He's my brother. I'm just trying to protect him.

Is that why you don't want him to fall in love?

Is that why you didn't tell your best friend that he even existed?

Is that why you've kept him hidden away up in Chattanooga, to protect him?

Tad's happy there. They take good care of him there.

He's got a job, he's got a life.

A life that includes you once a month.

The reason you kept Tad such a secret

is the same reason you've kept him away from the guests

ever since he's been here.

Blanche, you're ashamed of him,

and I'm ashamed of you.

All right. You want to hear the truth?

Yes. I'm ashamed of him.

Are you happy now?

Roland, I'll be taking Tad to the bus station in a little while.

You can handle things while I'm gone.

Yeah. Uh, how's he doing?

Oh, he's still a little bit mad at me, but he'll get over that.

Tad, say goodbye to Roland.

‐Goodbye, Roland. ‐All right, Tad.

We'll see ya on your next trip, okay?

You take care.

Can I at least say goodbye to him?

Go ahead.

Tad...

I'm sorry we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend,

but I found something we can be.

Something better.

We can be valentines.

You mean it?

Will you be my valentine?

You bet!

I'm gonna keep this card forever.

Oh, that's a very special card.

Someone gave me that a long time ago.

Someone who loved me very much.

Maybe he wants it back.

Oh, I don't think he'd mind.

He knew you only give a valentine

to somebody who means the world to you,

somebody you're glad to have in your life.

‐Really? ‐Mmm‐hmm.

Would you be my valentine?

(gasps)

‐Did I do something wrong? ‐(sobs)

No.

(sniffles) No, Tad. I did.

(sniffles)

Hey, Tad.

How would you like to come and stay

at The Golden Palace a lot more often?

‐I'd like that. ‐(Blanche chuckles)

Good, because I think it's very important that people...

People see what a wonderful brother I have.

And maybe we could even go to Disney World or...

Oh, anywhere you want.

We'll do anything you like, Tad. Anything.

‐Anything? ‐Anything.

‐Anything? ‐Uh‐huh.

Would you watch cartoons with me?

Yeah.

(Blanche chuckles)

(cartoon playing on TV)

(laughs)

(sighs)

Something wrong, Rose?

Oh, I'm a little depressed.

I've been trying to think

of some secret I've been hiding,

and I can't.

Well, not everybody has to have some big secret.

Oh, but I feel so ordinary and boring.

I guess I'll just have to face the fact

that I have nothing to hide.

(chuckling)

Boy, these tabloids are the worst.

Listen to this. "Space aliens found living in Miami."

Zoc krep crulac.

(stammers) What did you just say?

I said that's ridiculous.