Original subtitles

♪ Ooh‐o‐ooh‐ooh ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Travel down the road And back again ♪

♪ Your heart is true ♪

♪ You're a pal And a confidante ♪

♪ And if you threw A party ♪

♪ Invited everyone You knew ♪

♪ You would see ♪

♪ The biggest gift Would be from me ♪

♪ And the card attached Would say ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

♪ Thank you For bein' a friend ♪

Okay.

Okay, you guys ready?

Say goodbye.

(high voice) Oh, no! Please!

‐(whistles) ‐Now, Chuy, remember,

everything's got to be just right today.

A very important group is checking in‐‐

The daughters of the traditional south.

And I want dinner to be perfect.

What do you want me to do, uh, cook a possum or somethin'?

Chuy, this means a lot to me.

Well, I took care of the rooms for your southern belles like you asked.

I put a mint on every pillow.

Sophia, you put a Feen‐a‐mint on every pillow.

Oh, I guess that around 2:00 a.m. the south will rise again.

Hi, Oliver. Did you finish your homework?

Are we doing this every day?

I finished my science. I'll do my math later.

Maybe I'd better look at your science. Just to be sure it's all right.

Fine.

It's on the electromagnetic pull

of astral black holes and their effect on ultraviolet rays.

Uh‐huh. Well, this looks fine.

Hi. Uh, reservation for Smith.

Would you sign here, please?

Blanche, do you see that couple over there?

‐Don't look. ‐What about them?

Oh, come on. Don't tell me you don't see.

Don't look!

What about them, Rose?

He told me his name was Smith, and I know it isn't.

Now, do you know what that means?

Yeah. That room's going to be available again in a couple of hours.

Here you go, Mr. Smith. Room 207.

Why did you do that, Blanche?

I used to work with that man's wife.

I've seen him at Christmas parties.

Oh, thank God he didn't recognize me without my elf costume.

Aren't you glad we decided

you shouldn't wear your elf costume here?

There was nothing to decide.

Didn't make much sense to wear it after you cut the bells off.

The point is,

there is sin going on in our hotel.

Rose, I'm sorry, but that's one glass house

I really don't feel qualified to throw stones at.

‐But it's wrong. ‐Roland: What's wrong?

Oh, Rose is on a snit

because some guy is shacked up in 207.

‐(chuckles) ‐I know his wife. It's wrong.

Well, wait a minute, Rose. We're in the hotel business.

Now, it's not up to us to make

moral judgements about the people staying in the hotel.

Daughters of the traditional south?

Those bigots in bonnets aren't staying in this hotel.

Roland, there is nothing wrong

with the daughters of the traditional south.

Oh, I see when they put those sheets on over their heads,

it must be some kind of salute to Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Oh, when is that?

Roland, this is not that kind of organization.

Are you telling me you really don't see who these women are?

I am telling you that I see ten rooms in our hotel

rented for three nights

at a time when we desperately need the business.

You are overreacting. This is just a bunch of harmless little old ladies

who like to get together and wear white gloves and have tea.

And as you said,

it's not our business to pass judgment on our guests.

We're here to make people feel welcome.

Fine.

Where are you going?

Oh, uh, to get my jockey suit and lantern.

Imma go stand on the front lawn, make 'em feel right at home.

Well, this just doesn't seem fair.

Rose.

How come he gets to dress up and I don't?

Rose, take table five.

Oh, no. Not them.

Do you know what they're doing here?

I have a pretty good idea.

I haven't seen drooling like that since they sat me

at the zombie table at Shady Pines.

Good evening, sir.

And how is your wife tonight?

Uh, fine, thank you. (clears throat)

All right, what will you have?

Gee, I'm not sure yet.

Honey, should we have some wine while we decide?

Sure, uh, what do you suggest?

I have a lovely chardonnay that might be nice

before you burn in hell for the rest of your lives.

Rose, honey, as a general rule, don't damn the guests.

I'm sorry, but this is a very personal matter to me.

I've seen this all before. Let me tell you a little story

about a couple I knew back in St. Olaf.

He was strong, and she was docile,

almost contented, you might say.

And they were married in a pasture where they used to graze.

‐It was a lovely wedding‐‐ ‐Wait, wait, wait. Graze?

Oh, yes. They were cows.

But anyway...

A few moments after the ceremony ended,

when they were leading the bride back to the barn to cut her out of her dress,

the unspeakable happened.

‐The unspeakable? ‐Yes.

Yes, another cow... Floozy...

A shameless, painted cow who'd let anybody milk her...

Well, she began to make eyes at Tim.

Tim? Who's Tim?

The bull. Roland, stay with me on this.

Anyway, all I know is that wedding ring wasn't in Tim's nose five minutes

before he caught Floozy's eye.

Oh, sure, we all turned our backs

and tried to pretend we couldn't hear what was going on, but...

But how can you not hear the cowbells?

Oh, those bells...

those awful, awful bells. I can still hear them clanging.

Not so cute when she's telling the cow story, is she?

The point is I can still remember the look on Betsy's face

when she found out about Tim

and I don't wanna put anybody through that ever again.

Rose, I have a suggestion

you have to learn to keep your feelings about the hotel guests to yourself.

No, I'm sorry, but I don't see any difference

in my thinking this thing with the Smiths is wrong

and you thinking Blanche letting the daughters of the traditional South stay here is wrong.

Wait a minute.

‐(loudly) Are you kidding me? ‐Shh!

(softly) Are you kidding me?

You are equating two people fooling around having a good time

with someone showing complete disregard for an entire race of people

Blanche isn't like that.

You don't know her. True, she may come from the old style

but she's a very modern thing,

♪ Den I wish I was in Dixie, Hoo‐ray! Hoo‐ray ♪

♪ In Dixie land, I'll take my stand To live and die in Dixie ♪

♪ Away, away, Away down South in... ♪

And the sad thing is she isn't even wearing a hoop

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait up, you're not hanging that flag in here.

Well, of course I am.

Blanche, do you know what this flag represents?

This flag belonged to big, big granddaddy Hollingsworth.

He used to bring it to all our fine old Southern family picnics,

where all the cousins would gather.

Everybody was courteous and mannerly,

and gentlemen would ask ladies

for the favor of a dance.

And cousin Rex would be home on vacation

from Colonel Bob's school for Bad Boys.

And he'd ask me for the favor

other than the dancing favor, and we'd...

Ahh, it's a grand old flag.

Wait a minute. Now I get it, this is just good old‐fashioned fun.

‐Yes. ‐Okay.

Well say, how about on Tuesday nights

we hang the Nazi flag, hire an Oompah Band,

and dress you up like Eva Braun?

This is not the same as the Nazi flag.

Yeah, well, it is to me, Blanche.

Look, when you look at this flag,

you see some southern fairy tale

with the guy who looks like Burl Ives dressed in a white suit

tippin' his hat to you, saying, "Evenin', Miss Blanche."

Evening.

Oh, I'm sorry, Roland, you were making a point?

That's not funny, Blanche.

Well, that's ancient history and you know it.

Things aren't like that anymore.

Uh‐oh. Here they come.

So are we going to check them in?

Can we afford not to?

After they're checked in, Blanche,

I want this flag to come down.

Well, welcome, ladies, to The Golden Palace. (chuckles)

Please don't eat the mints.

What's doing, Rose?

Oh, it's pretty quiet.

I've just been calling the Smiths every minute and a half

so they won't have time to start rolling around.

That's great I did the same thing on Dorothy and Stan's honeymoon.

Drove them crazy.

You might want to try it with a German accent.

Sophia, you're terrible.

Achtung!

(in German accent) Your strudel is ready und‐‐

I'm sorry. Wrong number.

Thanks.

They sounded scared. (chuckles)

May I help you?

Yes. A reservation for Mr. And Mrs. Smith.

I see. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. (chuckles)

Mr. and Mrs. Smith are here.

That's right...

Mr. Old‐enough to‐be‐her‐father Smith.

And the lovely Mrs.

this‐sure‐beats‐ doing‐it‐on‐the‐floor‐ at‐the‐office Smith.

First of all, you can kiss "Employee of the month" goodbye.

Again?

Look, Rose, I know these people.

They're regular customers. They really are the Smiths.

Oh, my gosh.

Achtung.

I'm an exchange student.

Wait a minute. Why is that flag still there?

I guess, Blanche didn't get to it yet.

Oh, I see.

‐Hey, what are you doing? ‐I don't want this here, Blanche

Well, I swear. If you're not making such a thing. (chuckles)

You know, I remember once when big, big granddaddy Hollingsworth‐‐

Just stop it!

This flag, Mrs. Devereaux, is not about college football games

or, or quilting bees or fried chicken on Sunday.

It's about colleges that won't let me in.

It's about companies that won't hire me.

It is about crosses being burnt on people's lawns today.

Not in the evil past, Blanche. Today!

And not just in the south, all over. The north is just as bad.

Damn Yankees. (gasps)

You honestly don't get this, do you?

I don't see where there's anything to get.

This is just a flag.

To me, this is just a bunch of wonderful family memories.

Well, I don't think I want to work for anybody who feels that way.

‐I don't think I can. ‐Why, Roland‐‐

I'm just going to look for another job, Blanche.

Well...

Hey, Chuy,

what's this on tomorrow's lunch menu?

"Sausage on split bread"?

That's a hot dog. Who's going to want that?

Let me tell you something.

I have seen people, lots of people

like thousands of people

line up for a little piece of sausage.

And they do it because it's the only food available.

And they suffer in silence

as they inch up towards the head of the line

with the rain beating down on them.

So don't tell me I don't know what people want.

Was that bad in the Barrio?

No. It was last Sunday at the Dolphins game.

Listen, do you think I'm wrong?

Yes.

Well, don't you think you should let me finish my sentence?

No.

Look, there's a couple in this hotel committing adultery.

I know it's not the in thing,

but I happen to believe in family values.

Oh, don't start with family values.

After Sal died, I had to be a single parent.

And I took care of Dorothy the best I could.

Oh, Sophia, Dorothy took care of you.

Oh, that would explain the free food.

Well, I still think we should have a policy

against people coming to our hotel to commit adultery.

Rose, will you loosen up?

Now, don't tell me you never went

to a hotel to have a little fun.

Well, I may have gone, but not with somebody else's husband.

Well, actually, once, I did wind up in a hotel bed

with someone other than Charlie, but it was an accident. I swear it!

You had an affair, Rose Nylund, little miss goody two shoes?

Well, I'm shocked. I don't know what to say.

It wasn't an affair, technically.

See, Charlie and I used to go to this

St. Olaf hotel every few months

to spice things up.

We'd have a nice dinner and go up to our room

and dress up like our favorite storybook characters...

And then make love. Nothing unusual.

Perfectly normal. Yikes.

Well, one night, Charlie went in the bathroom to put on‐‐

Well, this is a little embarrassing.

Oh, come on Rose, we're all adults here.

There's nothing to be embarrassed about, come on.

He went in to dress up like the Big Bad Wolf.

(laughing)

Sick. She's sick.

Now, stop it.

I'm sorry. I just don't understand

about people who have to dress up like storybook characters.

Of course I was lucky. Without his clothing,

My Sal looked like Wee Willie Winkie anyway.

(laughing)

Can I finish my story?

Well, when he went into the bathroom, I turned out the lights.

Wait a minute, Rose. Why would you bother putting on costumes,

then turn out the lights?

Now I do feel silly.

Blanche: Oh...

Rose... The affair.

(sighs) Well, we wanted to order room service,

but the St. Olaf hotel doesn't have it. They just have dumbwaiters.

Wait, wait, Rose. Are we talking about a little elevator dumbwaiter

or just a guy who was a dumb waiter?

‐Rose: Little elevator. ‐(softly) Okay.

But the guy who got off it wasn't that bright, either.

I mean, he saw me in bed, and he crawled in.

Well, I thought it was Charlie.

So I said, "Grandma, what big eyes you have."

(bass voice) And he said, "The better to see you with, my dear."

And then I said, "Grandma, what big teeth you have."

And he said, "The better to nibble you with, my dear."

And then Charlie came out of the bathroom

and he said, "Who's that sleeping in my bed?"

I was so confused.

I'll bet.

Well, there I was in my Red Riding Hood outfit and Charlie's looking for Goldilocks

Uh‐huh

I guess Charlie was confused too

because he huffed and he puffed and he...

actually, he hyperventilated and passed out.

Don't take me now, Lord.

Don't let this be the last story I ever hear.

(man laughing)

(woman laughing)

man: Oh...

No. I'm going to be more tolerant.

woman: Oh, Harry. (laughs)

(man laughing)

(man continues laughing)

Rose: Oh, please.

Wait. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

We're checking out of 207.

Was something wrong?

Yeah. This woman's what's wrong.

‐Rose, what did you do? ‐Nothing.

She completely invaded our privacy.

Oh, come on.

It's not like I got in bed with them.

Okay, so I got in bed with them.

She started singing hymns.

And she started babbling something

about hearing cowbells ring.

You know, this used to be a nice, little discreet hotel.

What are you turning it into?

We're doing the best we can.

You shouldn't have her here.

And you shouldn't cheat on your wife.

My wife is none of your business.

It so happens this woman and I

have a very special, meaningful relationship.

I won't have you cheapen it.

Let's go, um...

‐Arlene. ‐Right. Arlene.

‐How could you? ‐I'm sorry.

Rose, we're barely making ends meet.

‐We cannot afford to offend any guests. ‐I said, I'm sorry.

‐You did the right thing, Rose. ‐I did?

I did the right thing. I did?

Yeah. Sometimes what you believe is more important than business,

Although what some people believe is unbelievable.

Now, Roland, I'm not some kind of bigot

because I love this flag

and I resent that implication.

You just stop that right now.

(imitates old man) Oh, yes, Ma'am, Miss Devereaux.

Old Roland don't want to cause you no trouble at all.

You hold on to that one. He's a good one.

What did you say?

"He's a good one."

Roland...Wait.

Hey! Roland.

I don't feel like that woman in there.

I don't feel that way at all.

But can't you see, Blanche, that flag ties what you believe

and what she believes together?

Look I'm telling you the legacy of that flag is alive

every time I walk down the street with the group of my friends

and I see a white person cross over to the other side

'cause they're afraid.

Or look when I'm in the elevator

with somebody like you and you're all huddled over in the corner

wondering what I'm going to do.

‐Sometimes I just want to go "Hooga!" ‐Oh!

Just to break the tension.

So please don't tell me about that flag.

I've battled that flag all my life.

Look, Roland, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything you have been through,

but what am I supposed to do what am I supposed to think

about all my family, all my friends?

All right, when I was in school,

maybe I was a little less sensitive than I could have been.

(chuckles)

Yeah, but I was just doing what all my friends were doing.

They were my friends.

And we were just acting like everybody we knew acted.

Oh.

And then that... When I had my first baby‐‐

Well, the hospital was packed and, uh...

And I had to share a room with a young black woman.

(exhales sharply) George made a big stink about the accommodations

she had to have heard him.

And I know her baby was as cute as mine.

Cuter, in fact. Rebecca was an ugly baby.

Turned out fine. Ugly baby.

You can get an idea of how she looked

if you catch Sophia some morning with her teeth out.

(inhales sharply) The point is

what am I supposed to do and think about my family now?

What am I supposed to... to think about all those people I love?

What am I supposed to think about me?

Everything I grew up believing in, all of my wonderful memories,

they're‐‐ they're all tarnished now by...

Oh, God.

By the truth.

I owe you an apology.

No. You don't owe me nothing.

Will you stay?

Blanche, you really have to start listening to me

when I tell you something is bothering me,

And I'll try to understand

why some of these things mean so much to you.

The whole world is messed up right now and I would like to see that get better.

But, in order for that to happen,

White people are gonna have to start making positive assumptions

when they see people of color,

And people of color could make positive assumptions when they see white people.

Man! Things are just messed up.

Blanche, let's just try and get rid of all the barriers

and just trust each other, okay?

Right on.

Reservations for Smith.

Oh, really?

Is there a Mrs. Smith?

Har har.

No, but there's a Mr. Jones.

Oh...

Well, that's a relief. (chuckles)

You just won't believe what goes on

in the hotel business. (chuckles)