All language subtitles for Younger.S02E10.HDTV.x264-ALTEREGO

_

So I text Caitlin to say,

"What are we doing for
your birthday on Friday?"

And she's like, "Dinner? Brooklyn?"

And I'm like, "Yeah, can't wait."

- And then she was like...
- I have bad news.

How much longer is
this story gonna take?

She wants to invite David to dinner.

What could be worse news than that?

Oh. I see.

That's the girl who wrote the story

about Josh for "T Magazine"...

Greta.

Ugh, what a whore.

That's a little harsh.

I mean publicity whore.

That's fair.

Since when is he a
Friend of the High Line?

He doesn't even know the High Line.

Well, he does like to get high.

Well, at least he looks happy.

That's all that matters.

Yeah, 'cause he's high.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Public humiliation.

Good morning.

My ex, Andy, and his husband Eduardo

had their engagement

printed in the "New York Times."

They were the featured couple

with the color pictures, so I get it.

Yeah, we just broke up,
so it's pretty tough.

- I'm feeling...
- Liza, let's not wallow in it.

We have a lot of work to do today.

Right.

You have a conference call at 9:00,

a marketing show-and-tell at 10:30,

and you are Skyping with
Greg from Powell's at noon.

Great.

Make a reservation at Aureole for 12:30.

I'm taking you to lunch.

Oh, okay.

And I have a jacket to cover up...

that.

This is nice.

Nice? This is a power booth, Liza.

From here we can see and be seen

by everyone who comes in,

and it was lit by the same guy

who did Angela Lansbury's
return to Broadway,

so from two booths back,
we look like infants.

You want my advice on your breakup?

- Sure.
- Invest in yourself.

Put everything into your
career. It'll pay off.

Romance is... incidental.

But you work hard enough, and
you will always have a job.

Oh, okay.

I guess.

And maybe someday...

I will join you at your power booth.

Diana, if I have a power booth,

you'll be the first person I invite.

Christ, Jackie Dunn just walked in.

Here she comes. Hide the bread.

Jackie, what are you doing below 50th?

Oh, you know. Just keeping it real.

Actually, Mark and I
just moved to Tribeca.

- What?
- It's a hike, but we love it,

Here you go, Jackie.

I ran over as soon as I realized.

Oh, is it supposed to rain?

No, it's very sunny, and
you can't go out in the sun

for 10 days after...

It has been so good seeing you, Diana.

We really need to get
a lunch on the books.

Definitely.

I don't need you anymore.

I...

You must be Emily, right?

I'm Liza, Diana's assistant.

We've GChatted.

Oh, hi.

Wow, you're not at all what I pictured.

You were so nice on the phone,
I assumed you were, like,

homely or twee, but you
seem totally normal.

Uh, thanks. You seem normal too.

Hey, there's this young
professionals mixer

tonight in Chelsea.

They're totally fun, and it's
not just publishing nerds.

It's assistants from all over Manhattan.

You should come.

Oh, tonight, I...

She'll be there.

Lean in.

Okay.

Uh, you can go.

Hey, have you ever heard of

the Young Professionals Society?

I got invited to their mixer.

Yeah, it's kind of dorky.

It's for people who are,
like, desperate to move up.

- You should check it out.
- What, because I'm desperate?

No.

Because you're dorky.

Oh, my God.

Lauren is out of control.

She has turned into

a complete bridesmaidzilla.

I don't know what to do.

Well, just be honest with her.

Tell her you want a low-key wedding.

I have, and then she pinched my arm

really hard and said,
"You're better than that."

Wow, okay.

Well, uh, maybe try to get her to focus

on a less significant
part of the wedding,

like flowers.

Flowers are everything!

Okay, well, something else.

I mean, getting married is stressful.

Just make sure to focus on
what's important to you.

Yeah.

Says the person who's never
had to plan a wedding.

You got me there.

Babe, you have to help me with
these wedding decisions, okay?

Of course, boo, I got you.
We are in this together.

I'm just gonna have to
take a call in, like, five.

All right, you two. Let's do this.

Uh, Kelsey, did you get my
email about the dresses?

Yes.

I am not wearing a
see-through wedding dress.

Why?

Because I don't want my grandma

to see my Hello Kitty.

There was beadwork.

Okay, Lauren, if Kelsey doesn't
want her choach showing,

then it ain't showing.
End of discussion.

I know, I know... I'm pushing you guys.

But it's my job.

- It is?
- Yes.

And you're pushing back,
which I appreciate.

Together, we are gonna grind
out something beautiful.

All right? I know it.

I just... I need you guys to stay open

to this process, okay?

- Fine.
- Great.

Let's take a tour of the space,

after I introduce you
to your dream team.

Linda Chang, James Beard
Award-winning sommelier.

Tammy Anders, pastry chef.

She'll be in charge of
curating your venetian hour.

Matt Marks, social media concierge.

He will ensure your
special day is documented

on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

He will also come up with your hashtag.

Don't we just combine our names?

- Mm-hmm.
- We... we can do that.

Oh, really? Because you haven't.

Okay?

Matt also works with this Foto Robot,

an interactive photo booth.

Hello, Kelsey and Thad.

Babe, got to jump on this.

Can't we just hire a human photographer?

Hey, Lauren.

Lauren, I thought we talked about this.

I know, I know.

I just thought that if Jan
and Bonnie came here in person

that you might change your mind.

I do not want a predator

flying around with our
rings in its mouth.

Well, for your information,

she wears them in a little
pouch around her neck.

No.

Okay, I'd like Thad to weigh in.

Thad?

God damn it!

That'd be a no from Thad, too.

Liza! Over here!

- Hi.
- Hey.

Wow, everyone looks like
they're right out of college.

Honestly, some of these people
are probably still in college.

It's so hard to get a job, if
you land a summer internship,

you just stay.

My degree never helped me get anything.

- Where'd you go?
- Um... Dartmouth.

No. When did you graduate?

Uh, '08.

So did I. Marta... Marta Beem?

They used to call me Deer Slayer,

'cause I sold venison
steaks out of my dorm.

That's not ringing a bell.

No, I totally know you.

Did you play volleyball?

Ski team.

Yes. Oh, my God, I remember you.

This is nuts.

You have to come to our
Dartmouth alumni group

next week.

- Hey, Sierra.
- This is Liza.

She's new.

Liza and I went to Dartmouth together.

She works in publishing.

Sierra's killing it
at the hedge fund game

over at Onyx Capital.

It is insane how much money I make.

Onyx Capital?

My, uh, my friend's
fiancé works over there.

Thad Weber.

Thad is someone's fiancé? Ugh, yikes.

What do you mean "yikes"?

I just met you, so I feel
like I shouldn't say anything,

but in the spirit of helping women,

I feel like I should.

- You definitely should.
- If it's gonna help women.

There's a rumor going around

that Thad is hooking
up with his assistant.

Apparently they do it in
the 30th floor bathrooms

every single day.

Ugh. Stall rabbits.

There's an infestation at my work.

Nobody's hooking up at
my work, and I'm, like,

totally DTF.

Uh, Thad? Are you sure?

I mean, I haven't, like, seen it.

But yes, I've heard from
some very reliable sources.

I mean, he can be a jerk sometimes,

but I rally don't think he
would do that to Kelsey.

I'm not saying he's a terrible guy.

It's just all the portfolio managers

think that screwing their assistant

is part of the job.

Huh.

You can barely ever
get a handicapped stall

after 3:00 p.m. in that building.

- Ew.
- Damn.

Okay, so we took your advice,

and I'm having Lauren throw
me an engagement party...

Hopefully get all the
crazy out of her system.

That's a great idea.

Yeah, so it's Saturday night at Barocco.

Is, um, Thad excited about it?

No. He's a guy.

He doesn't care about
an engagement party.

He barely cares we're having a wedding.

What do you mean?

I mean...

he cares, obviously, but you know,

he just can't be bothered
by any of the prep.

Well, does he have an assistant

he wouldn't mind asking
for personal favors?

Like, wedding stuff?

I think he shares an assistant

with a bunch of other guys.

But he does have a lot
of hot, single friends

who'll be at the party,

and there are benefits to rebound sex.

Like confidence.

Come on, Josh is with this hot, new,

Internet-famous girl,

and you've got to be
thinking about that.

- I am now.
- So get yours.

Temporary fixes are better
than no fixes at all.

Are you really giving me this advice?

Yes.

Sometimes you got to get under someone

to get over someone.

Well, this is fun.

Yeah, I'm so glad we're doing this.

Yeah.

Mm. How's work, sweetie?

Oh, it's good, good. Hectic.

I, uh...

You weren't asking me.

I was not.

It's going well.

Dad and I are holding down the fort.

Caitlin's a bit of a natural
with the cheek retractor.

Might be a dental school
in our future over here.

Uh, I-I don't want to spend my life

inside people's mouths.

No offense, Dad.

Ooh, Liza.

Look at this fella over here.

- Check him out.
- What?

Ugh.

On our honeymoon in Italy,

we were at this little
hole-in-the-wall restaurant.

Uh, and the waiters just
kept pouring the wine, and...

And your dad kept drinking it.

Well, I was being polite.

Well, he got really "polite"

and decided to join the accordion band.

Join? What do you mean, join?

Well, they just... They
put a little hat on me,

and, uh, they gave me an accordion.

- He took the accordion...
- Well...

And started pumping away

like he was bringing it back to life.

Oh, my God. Were you any good?

- No.
- No?

- He was terrible.
- Okay, I agree with that.

But when we got back to Jersey,

remember, I went to a pawn shop,

and I bought an accordion,

and I taught myself to play a little.

- Ugh.
- No way.

Prove it.

Hmm. Okay, I will.

Yeah? Are you doing this?

- I don't think you should.
- Really?

Mom, it's my birthday.

Yeah, but this is not a gift.

- Oh, yeah?
- Believe me.

What are you doing?

Can I just... can I just
use this for a second?

- David...
- Heavier than I remember.

- David...
- Oh, that's cool.

Can I get your hat, too? Thanks.

- I appreciate it.
- I apologize.

Oh!

- Yay!
- Bravo!

Thank you.

- Thank you, everyone.
- Yeah!

That's my dad.

Whoo!

I'm just saying, no
other parents dressed up

to take their kids trick-or-treating.

No other parents were
as creative as we were.

Oh, okay.

You remember the time we dressed her up

as a little white tiger?

And then you and I went
as... Who were those...

Siegfried and Roy.

- Yeah!
- Yes!

And every door we'd go to,
Mom would just hold me up

to her face and scream, "Mantecore, no!"

Yeah, some people got it.

Oh, wow, uh, it's later than I thought.

Do you guys mind if I go?

I told Padma I'd meet her,
like, a half hour ago.

- Oh.
- Of course, go.

- Get out of here.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- It's okay.

- Happy birthday, baby.
- Muah.

- Be safe, please.
- Okay.

All growed up. Come here, you.

- Love you... happy birthday.
- Thank you for dinner.

- Really great time.
- Yeah.

Ugh, my God, it's crazy how old she is.

It's crazy how old we are.

Doesn't seem to have affected you.

You look great.

Yeah, right.

Oh man, I miss this, Liza...

Us together as a family.

I know it's all my fault.
You don't have to say it.

Oh, I wasn't gonna. I was
just gonna smile and nod.

So I hear through the grapevine

that you're, uh, seeing somebody.

We broke up.

Ha! You dumped him already?

He kind of dumped me.

What?

Oh, the guy is clearly an idiot.

Some more?

Uh, a splash.

I know you think I'm a bad person, Liza,

but I'm not.

Don't tell me what I'm thinking.

You don't know me.

I've changed.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

In fact, some people
might say I'm a bad guy.

Well, you do seem different.

Not bad, just... I don't know,

sort of... cooler.

Oh, yeah, well, I am cool.

- You'd be surprised.
- Surprise me.

Another bottle?

- Mm-mmm.
- Yeah, please.

Oh, you do not have to walk me home.

Well, I'm the one with the umbrella,

plus you... you do not
look safe in those boots.

What?

When did you even start
wearing boots like that?

It's so hot.

About the same time I
started wearing hot underwear

like this.

Whoa, wait a second!

I want to see that. Do that again.

Yeah, you missed out on this, baby.

- Hey.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I was... I was...

Ugh.

What's the matter?

You have a bad dream?

Ugh, I wish.

I drank too much at dinner,

and something horrible happened.

- I had sex with my husband.
- My God.

I heard you clunking around.

I thought you were making food,

not slicing pie with David.

Oh, gross, gross, gross, gross.

Now he's gonna think we have a
shot at getting back together.

Well, I can go sneak into your room

and put my pointy knee
right into his ball sack.

He'll be hauling ass back to New Jersey

before the sun comes up.

Thank you.

This is my mess.

Ugh, I'll deal with it...

in the morning.

Oh, my God.

He's not here.

Maybe it really was a bad dream.

Nah, it was real.

You had a one night
stand with your husband,

and he left you a note.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

Ugh.

"That was fun." Ugh.

So something a dentist would say

after a routine filling.

Ew.

I'm behaving like an actual 26-year-old:

having rebound sex.

More like boomerang.

And pining over my ex-boyfriend.

I've re-read all of our texts.

I scroll through our
photos whenever I'm bored.

I can't keep doing this.

I'm not some emo teen who
just lost her virginity.

No, you're a 40-year-old mother.

Yeah.

And a 26-year-old marketing assistant.

Right.

And a considerate
roommate who wouldn't mind

schlepping my sheets to the Laundromat

on her way to work.

On it.

Hey, this party is amazing.

But could you imagine
if it was my wedding?

My cousins with their
home-schooled children

eating sushi off of drag queens?

No, this is not a place
for churchy cousins.

Whoo. All right, squad.

Would you fancy a picture?

Okay.

Cheers.

Long live the union of Kelsey and Thad.

Okay, you two should go get in
line for the Cava chandelier.

I have to go deal with Lordy GuyGuy.

- Who?
- Lordy GuyGuy.

The best Gaga impersonator in the city.

He even impersonates her power trips.

If you'll excuse me...

So where's Thad?

Uh, brah-ing it up somewhere.

He's got all of his work
friends here to entertain.

Is that, uh, someone from work?

Her?

Um, I don't know. Maybe.

Well, should we go meet her?

Chat her up? Scare her off... whatever?

What does that mean?

Uh, just that it's Thad,

and you know, he's
talking to a pretty girl.

Liza, this is my engagement party.

You are not allowed to insinuate

that my fiancé is
flirting with someone.

Okay, you know what?

You're right. I'm sorry.

I just... God, this breakup

is just really messing with my head.

Yeah, because that's what breakups do.

You need some physical activity.

Get you out of your head.

Just say the word, okay?

Any guy in here in an expensive suit

is looking for a "smash and dash."

Ha, well, actually, I took
care of that last night

with a married man.

Well, actually divorced.

Oh, my God.

Divorced guys are so tragic.

Where did you meet him?

At a restaurant.

He was playing the accordion.

Oh, that sounds gross.

It was really gross.

Did sleeping with him at
least help the Josh situation?

It made me realize that
I want to focus on work,

and not guys and
relationships for a while.

Ah. Big belly, small dick?

You know what?

You can be the one to
focus on relationships,

because you're getting married.

It's a really big deal.

I'll carry the ball for a while.

Okay, I'm gonna let you focus on work,

but if you change your mind,

my uncle George plays bagpipe
in a Celtic rock band.

Ooh, tempting.

Oh, my gosh.

I just have to say,

this is the best party
I have ever thrown.

Good. Enjoy it.

Yes! Wait until the wedding.

- You're not doing the wedding.
- What?

I'm sorry, Lauren.

I love you,

but my wedding is going
to be what I want.

Right, and I assumed you
wanted something awesome.

I want something quiet in a church...

Somewhere I can bring my parents,

something where the sushi is stationary,

and my dress won't be see-through.

It'll be white...

Ish.

No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- You can't do that!
- I'm sorry, Lauren.

Throw a lunatic parade of a wedding

when you get married.

Fine, you know what?

- I will.
- Good.

And I will be right there
with you the whole time.

Thank you. That is really sweet.

I tried to hijack your
wedding, didn't I?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I am... I am so sorry.

No more over-the-top
suggestions, all right?

I promise.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

At least consider the falcon.

Welcome, everybody.

I'm gonna make this short.

My Kelsey.

You... you know that you are
like another daughter to me.

And I love you dearly.

And I wish you only good things.

She's like a daughter to both of us.

Yes, she is.

May your marriage be filled
with as much happiness

and hot sex as ours.

Mazel tov, everybody!

She's an animal, this woman!

- An animal!
- All right.

- Cheers, guys.
- Are we done... it's over?

You mind if I, uh... You
mind if I do one, guys?

Give him the mic. Hey,
hey, give him the mic.

Here.

What's up?

So, uh, I know we're all here to

"cheers" the happy couple, but, um,

I got to raise the glass to my boy.

Thaddeus!

Whoo-whoo!

Onyx Capital forever!

I love you.

- I love you, Thaddy.
- Thank you, thank you, Tim.

- Dude, come on.
- Yeah.

- All right.
- Yeah.

One last thing, you guys.

Kelsey and Thad,

to your love.

May it be wild, beautiful,

dangerous, and majestic.

Swoop, Bonnie! Swoop!

Come... come on, Bonnie.

Get down here on my glove, Bon.

Bonnie, go.

Bonnie!

I'll be right back.

_

Either you tell her, or I will.