All language subtitles for Younger.S02E05.HDTV.x264-ALTEREGO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian Download
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,331 --> 00:00:10,832 How'd you get to be big spoon, huh? 2 00:00:10,857 --> 00:00:13,190 I'm supposed to be big spoon. 3 00:00:13,215 --> 00:00:15,751 Oh, ah. 4 00:00:15,776 --> 00:00:18,636 Okay, never mind. I like being little spoon. 5 00:00:19,975 --> 00:00:21,185 Wanna fork? 6 00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:24,763 Abso-forking-lutely. 7 00:00:29,092 --> 00:00:30,966 Oh, I've got to get to work. 8 00:00:30,991 --> 00:00:34,038 - No. - I know. I'm sorry. 9 00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:49,656 Ooh, I have got an interesting new Instagram follower. 10 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:50,692 Don't tell me. 11 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,415 It's a... a young, hot teenage girl 12 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,081 who just loves your tattoos. 13 00:00:55,481 --> 00:00:56,855 Oh, I hate it when I'm right. 14 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,008 No, it... It's your daughter, Caitlin. 15 00:01:00,374 --> 00:01:02,130 What? No, ban her. 16 00:01:02,155 --> 00:01:03,312 You mean block her? 17 00:01:03,337 --> 00:01:04,736 Yes, block... Block her. 18 00:01:04,761 --> 00:01:07,433 Come on. She's following the band. 19 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,098 - I think it's nice. - Nice? 20 00:01:09,123 --> 00:01:10,742 She wants to get to know me. 21 00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:11,935 I think that's a good thing. 22 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,321 I guess it is, but I... 23 00:01:14,806 --> 00:01:17,353 Okay, look, um... 24 00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:24,065 This divorce has been really hard on Caitlin, 25 00:01:24,274 --> 00:01:26,224 and I don't want to throw anything new at her 26 00:01:26,249 --> 00:01:29,129 unless we're... 27 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:32,106 You know, we're serious. 28 00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,418 We're not serious, hmm? 29 00:01:34,443 --> 00:01:37,129 I, um... We are serious. 30 00:01:37,153 --> 00:01:40,424 I just want to give her more time, 31 00:01:40,449 --> 00:01:42,315 and I want to give us more time. 32 00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:43,663 Okay. 33 00:01:44,664 --> 00:01:46,681 But you have to get to work. 34 00:01:47,030 --> 00:01:48,526 Can you be really quick? 35 00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:50,218 - I can be so quick. - Okay. 36 00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:51,775 Whoo! 37 00:01:53,922 --> 00:01:57,437 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 38 00:01:57,590 --> 00:01:59,362 I'm not saying you can't follow him. 39 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,125 I just don't know why you're following him. 40 00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:02,783 Because everybody follows everybody. 41 00:02:02,808 --> 00:02:04,525 Please join the 21st century, Mom. 42 00:02:04,551 --> 00:02:06,628 Okay, I'll start following Arjun. 43 00:02:06,652 --> 00:02:08,602 Okay, okay, I'll unfollow Josh. 44 00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:10,008 Thank you. 45 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:11,857 I just can't believe you're actually with that guy. 46 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,438 I mean, he's so hot. 47 00:02:13,463 --> 00:02:14,651 Hey. 48 00:02:14,887 --> 00:02:16,401 This is so weird. 49 00:02:16,426 --> 00:02:18,021 It's totally weird. 50 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,313 So when are you gonna come stay with me? 51 00:02:20,338 --> 00:02:22,542 Oh, soon. Dad really needs me, Mom. 52 00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:24,142 He can't afford a full-time assistant, 53 00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:25,396 and, you know, I'm good with the bite plate. 54 00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:26,447 Is that even legal? 55 00:02:26,472 --> 00:02:27,653 Is that guy you're dating? 56 00:02:27,678 --> 00:02:29,885 Ha ha. I'll talk to you later, sweetie, okay? 57 00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:32,250 - I love you. - All right, love you too, Mom. 58 00:02:39,017 --> 00:02:41,818 Jade, we're all just buzzing about your book. 59 00:02:41,843 --> 00:02:44,010 Not that we've read anything. 60 00:02:44,035 --> 00:02:46,485 We understand your concern that something could leak, 61 00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:49,420 but, uh, Kelsey tells me that your pages 62 00:02:49,445 --> 00:02:51,394 are like nothing she's ever seen. 63 00:02:51,419 --> 00:02:53,919 Kelsey, you are too kind. 64 00:02:53,944 --> 00:02:55,305 I'm just being honest. 65 00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:57,664 They are like nothing I've seen. 66 00:02:57,689 --> 00:02:59,222 Nothing. 67 00:02:59,316 --> 00:03:00,565 So that's exciting. 68 00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:02,982 Obviously, the cover needs to be really special, 69 00:03:03,007 --> 00:03:04,699 so the team has been kicking around a few ideas. 70 00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:05,723 I'm the cover. 71 00:03:05,748 --> 00:03:06,761 Oh, that's a given. 72 00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:07,952 We were thinking black and white. 73 00:03:07,977 --> 00:03:09,610 - It could be gorgeous. - No. 74 00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:13,823 I will be sitting on a subway next to a homeless man, 75 00:03:13,848 --> 00:03:14,774 pleasuring myself 76 00:03:14,799 --> 00:03:17,789 under my Balmain pleated leather skirt. 77 00:03:17,814 --> 00:03:19,695 Okay, the camera will be placed here. 78 00:03:19,759 --> 00:03:21,759 The picture will be taken at the exact moment 79 00:03:21,795 --> 00:03:23,160 I climax. 80 00:03:23,388 --> 00:03:26,517 That is the cover of my book. 81 00:03:26,542 --> 00:03:28,205 My orgasm. 82 00:03:28,229 --> 00:03:31,366 It's genius, right? 83 00:03:31,554 --> 00:03:33,329 - That is... - It gets better. 84 00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:35,237 You know those kids' cards when you open them 85 00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:36,850 and they play, like, "Who Let the Dogs Out" 86 00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:38,071 or whatever? 87 00:03:38,096 --> 00:03:41,013 So when you open my book, this is what you'll hear. 88 00:03:41,484 --> 00:03:44,333 Oh, yes! 89 00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:53,537 Well, the book signing should be fun. 90 00:03:53,562 --> 00:03:56,911 I hope you're able to make this cover happen. 91 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,603 It's pointless unless I start seeing pages. 92 00:03:59,628 --> 00:04:02,105 This book is on an accelerated production schedule. 93 00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:04,340 We want to be in stores in six months. 94 00:04:04,435 --> 00:04:06,012 Where am I going on my book tour? 95 00:04:06,036 --> 00:04:09,005 Nowhere unless I start seeing pages immediately. 96 00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:10,419 Well, I was going to bring them today, 97 00:04:10,444 --> 00:04:11,849 but then I read them, and they're, like, terrible. 98 00:04:11,874 --> 00:04:13,795 Every writer is their own worst critic. 99 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,642 No, what if I'm right, though? What if you hate them? 100 00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:18,165 I won't hate them. This book is my baby, Jade. 101 00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:19,948 I will love those pages from the moment 102 00:04:19,973 --> 00:04:21,147 they're in my arms. 103 00:04:21,172 --> 00:04:22,842 Plus, they're, like, messy and handwritten 104 00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:23,877 and, like, illegible. 105 00:04:23,902 --> 00:04:25,061 That is what Hemingway turned in. 106 00:04:25,086 --> 00:04:26,919 Yeah, but he was at, like, a divey bar 107 00:04:26,944 --> 00:04:28,329 getting drunk with his editor. 108 00:04:28,354 --> 00:04:29,445 You want to do it that way? 109 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,696 We can do it that way. I don't care, okay? 110 00:04:31,721 --> 00:04:33,830 I just want to be in the same room as your pages. 111 00:04:33,855 --> 00:04:35,902 Okay, let's meet tomorrow night 112 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,710 at the Horseshoe at the back booth around... 113 00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:38,942 6:00? 114 00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,836 Mm, I was thinking more like 12:00, 1:00. 115 00:04:40,861 --> 00:04:41,890 We are really behind. 116 00:04:43,974 --> 00:04:46,798 - Okay. - Okay, 6:00. 117 00:04:46,823 --> 00:04:49,251 Ah, I just said okay! Gosh, chill. 118 00:04:49,276 --> 00:04:50,356 Don't be so thirsty. 119 00:04:50,381 --> 00:04:52,417 I am chilling. I am always chill... 120 00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:04,763 Liza? 121 00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:07,041 - Hey. - Hi. 122 00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:09,916 - Hi. - What are you guys doing here? 123 00:05:09,941 --> 00:05:11,022 What are we doing here? 124 00:05:11,047 --> 00:05:13,537 What are you doing at a hipster bluegrass bar, 125 00:05:13,562 --> 00:05:15,396 you former Girl Scout leader? 126 00:05:15,422 --> 00:05:16,982 We're too late to save her, Michelle. 127 00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:18,571 - She's fully Brooklynized. - Ah! 128 00:05:18,596 --> 00:05:21,091 You have wiped your mind clean of all things New Jersey. 129 00:05:21,116 --> 00:05:23,394 That's a good one, but seriously... 130 00:05:23,418 --> 00:05:25,127 We follow our daughter on Instagram, 131 00:05:25,152 --> 00:05:27,352 who follows your daughter, who follows this band. 132 00:05:27,377 --> 00:05:29,678 Two Tweets and a Snapchat later, 133 00:05:29,703 --> 00:05:32,370 we come to learn you have a new man in your life. 134 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:36,474 I think someone's buying real estate in Cougartown. 135 00:05:37,030 --> 00:05:39,510 Go get me a Pinot Grigio. 136 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,157 I am so sorry. 137 00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:44,766 I made him swear 100 times not to say the word "cougar." 138 00:05:44,791 --> 00:05:46,457 Which only guaranteed that he would. 139 00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:47,346 Don't worry about it. 140 00:05:47,371 --> 00:05:49,101 We'll be out of here in just a second. 141 00:05:49,126 --> 00:05:50,302 We're having dinner nearby. 142 00:05:50,327 --> 00:05:51,522 I just wanted to... 143 00:05:53,337 --> 00:05:54,369 Is that him? 144 00:05:54,394 --> 00:05:56,098 Uh, yeah. 145 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,565 - Shut the front door. - Oh, stop it. 146 00:05:58,590 --> 00:05:59,850 He's not a prize steer. 147 00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:02,247 Here I've been worrying my head off about you. 148 00:06:02,272 --> 00:06:04,965 Meanwhile, you have been living the dream. 149 00:06:06,581 --> 00:06:07,950 How does this happen? 150 00:06:07,975 --> 00:06:10,253 Oh, you know how these things happen. 151 00:06:10,278 --> 00:06:12,212 No, I don't. I honestly don't. 152 00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:14,930 - Hey. - Hey, Josh. 153 00:06:14,955 --> 00:06:18,555 This is my very good friend Michelle from New Jersey. 154 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:20,630 Cool. It's nice to meet you. 155 00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:23,489 Oh, you guys are great. I love your sound. 156 00:06:23,514 --> 00:06:26,109 - Oh, thanks. - Oh, this is my husband, Tom. 157 00:06:26,134 --> 00:06:27,278 - Josh. - Hey. 158 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,717 No, I, uh... I was just saying 159 00:06:29,742 --> 00:06:31,576 there's so much about Liza's life 160 00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:33,571 that I don't know anything about, you know? 161 00:06:33,595 --> 00:06:36,571 Like the whole part of your life you spent in New Jersey. 162 00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:37,733 Part of her life? 163 00:06:37,758 --> 00:06:39,527 Well, this is pretty much the highlights reel right here. 164 00:06:39,552 --> 00:06:41,886 Shh, we don't want people to know that we're from New Jersey. 165 00:06:41,911 --> 00:06:43,589 We got fake IDs saying we're from Oregon. 166 00:06:46,257 --> 00:06:48,482 - I love your shirt. - Oh, thank you. 167 00:06:48,507 --> 00:06:51,224 My daughter gave it to me 'cause I'm kind of a foodie. 168 00:06:51,249 --> 00:06:53,464 I love truffle butter. 169 00:06:53,489 --> 00:06:56,873 - Do you? - I'm kinda famous for it. 170 00:06:56,898 --> 00:06:58,990 Oh, you guys should come for dinner. 171 00:06:59,015 --> 00:07:00,285 And to see the trellis. 172 00:07:00,309 --> 00:07:02,200 The trellis. 173 00:07:02,226 --> 00:07:04,048 I am such a space noodle. 174 00:07:04,073 --> 00:07:06,741 How could I not even mention the new trellis? 175 00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:08,065 Well, let's not say anything. 176 00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:09,505 You'll just have to come over for dinner 177 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:10,460 and see for yourself. 178 00:07:10,485 --> 00:07:12,867 Oh, that... Well, I'll call you. 179 00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,071 Well, screw that. 180 00:07:14,096 --> 00:07:15,066 What are you doing tomorrow night? 181 00:07:15,091 --> 00:07:16,341 - We're free. - Oh, no. 182 00:07:16,366 --> 00:07:18,715 - So are we. - Tomorrow's n... 183 00:07:19,044 --> 00:07:20,985 Tomorrow night sounds great. 184 00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:23,010 - Awesomesauce! - Truffle butter! 185 00:07:23,035 --> 00:07:24,853 - Yeah. - Dinner, okay. 186 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,508 Well, enjoy your night. 187 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,339 - Yeah, I'll text you. - Oh, yeah, all right. 188 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,638 - Nice to meet you. - Yes. 189 00:07:29,663 --> 00:07:33,029 - So, so nice to meet you. - Yeah, you too. 190 00:07:33,055 --> 00:07:35,231 - It is just... - Yeah, tomorrow. 191 00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:39,034 Do you have any idea what you just did? 192 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,258 What? 193 00:07:40,283 --> 00:07:41,910 They seem like really nice people. 194 00:07:41,935 --> 00:07:44,915 I... this will be fun. I am excited. 195 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,878 Can I ask you one question, though? 196 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,930 What's a trellis? 197 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:57,560 If it's making you this crazy, 198 00:07:57,585 --> 00:07:58,683 just call and cancel. 199 00:07:58,715 --> 00:07:59,633 I can't. 200 00:07:59,658 --> 00:08:01,074 Josh really wants to go. 201 00:08:01,099 --> 00:08:03,716 What's more important, what you want or Josh wants? 202 00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:04,913 I can't decide. You pick. 203 00:08:04,938 --> 00:08:06,648 You need me to tell you to pick you? 204 00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:07,758 Woman up. 205 00:08:07,783 --> 00:08:09,280 You say that like I know who I am, 206 00:08:09,305 --> 00:08:12,200 but I don't, because I am no longer a person. 207 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,878 I'm a game of Risk. 208 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:17,200 Ugh, all right. 209 00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:23,110 Here are all the people who know me 210 00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:25,535 as a 40-year-old mom from New Jersey. 211 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,542 Now, they seem like a fairly distant, 212 00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,650 harmless group of people, but as it turns out, 213 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,092 it was really a dormant sleeper cell 214 00:08:31,117 --> 00:08:33,646 that just got activated by my daughter. 215 00:08:33,671 --> 00:08:36,838 Now, over here are all the people 216 00:08:36,863 --> 00:08:39,607 who think I'm a 26-year-old publishing assistant. 217 00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:41,368 I like to think of these people 218 00:08:41,393 --> 00:08:44,533 as a nuclear power plant that's, like, gonna explode 219 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,306 at any moment. 220 00:08:45,331 --> 00:08:47,010 You know that's not how you play Risk, 221 00:08:47,035 --> 00:08:48,226 but go on. 222 00:08:48,251 --> 00:08:50,611 All right, now, here is Josh. 223 00:08:50,636 --> 00:08:53,346 Now, Josh fell in love with this version of me 224 00:08:53,371 --> 00:08:56,943 but now knows that this is me, and things aren't as good. 225 00:08:56,968 --> 00:09:00,073 He knows everyone over here, and now he knows 226 00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,604 some of the people over here, 227 00:09:01,629 --> 00:09:03,003 including my daughter, Caitlin, 228 00:09:03,028 --> 00:09:04,745 who is following him on Instagram. 229 00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:06,353 What about me? Why am I not on the board? 230 00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:09,339 Because you're home. You're the safety zone. 231 00:09:09,364 --> 00:09:10,863 Oh, okay. 232 00:09:10,888 --> 00:09:13,389 Now, all it would take to blow up my life completely 233 00:09:13,414 --> 00:09:16,953 is one more line from here to here. 234 00:09:16,978 --> 00:09:19,514 Do you realize what you've drawn here? 235 00:09:19,796 --> 00:09:22,918 Your life is not a board game. 236 00:09:22,943 --> 00:09:25,911 It's a spider web. 237 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,266 But I should be okay, right? 238 00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:30,457 'Cause I'm the spider. 239 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:33,650 I think you're also the fly. 240 00:09:40,403 --> 00:09:42,483 Redmond, this is unacceptable. 241 00:09:42,508 --> 00:09:44,599 Jade agreed to a schedule. 242 00:09:44,624 --> 00:09:46,374 I should have the first five chapters 243 00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:47,682 of her book by now. 244 00:09:47,707 --> 00:09:50,040 And you're telling me this why? 245 00:09:50,065 --> 00:09:51,486 I can't get her on the phone. 246 00:09:51,511 --> 00:09:52,961 She won't respond to my texts. 247 00:09:52,986 --> 00:09:55,471 She promised to meet me here over an hour ago. 248 00:09:55,497 --> 00:09:57,164 Oh, she promised? 249 00:09:57,189 --> 00:09:58,855 Uh-huh, go on. 250 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,975 Dude, I broke the bank to get this book. 251 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,931 She's an anarchist. What do you want? 252 00:10:03,956 --> 00:10:06,480 I want her ass sitting across from me, 253 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,839 delivering the pages that she promised, 254 00:10:08,864 --> 00:10:10,797 or she's gonna be in breach of contract. 255 00:10:10,822 --> 00:10:12,786 She will have to return her entire advance, 256 00:10:12,811 --> 00:10:15,147 all of it, including your commission. 257 00:10:15,172 --> 00:10:17,357 I got it. I got it. I'll handle it. 258 00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:19,118 You do that. 259 00:10:27,144 --> 00:10:28,866 - _ - Did I see what? 260 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:36,520 No, no, no, no, no. 261 00:10:36,545 --> 00:10:39,390 Shit, shit. 262 00:10:47,588 --> 00:10:50,222 Man, this is exciting. 263 00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:51,613 What is? 264 00:10:51,638 --> 00:10:54,680 Jersey: the home of Bruce Springsteen, 265 00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,196 the Sopranos, Jon Bon Jovi. 266 00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:58,614 You make it sound like you've never been to New Jersey. 267 00:10:58,639 --> 00:10:59,938 I haven't. 268 00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,657 Wait, you've been to Tokyo and Peru, 269 00:11:01,681 --> 00:11:02,788 and you've never been to New Jersey? 270 00:11:02,813 --> 00:11:03,928 How is this possible? 271 00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:05,453 I-I literally never had a reason. 272 00:11:05,478 --> 00:11:07,372 Plus, I hate tolls. 273 00:11:09,476 --> 00:11:11,259 Really, a lollipop? 274 00:11:11,356 --> 00:11:13,189 I mean, they're already well aware 275 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,380 there's an age difference. 276 00:11:14,405 --> 00:11:16,121 Babe, it's a pot pop. 277 00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:18,347 Edible marijuana so I'm relaxed. 278 00:11:18,372 --> 00:11:21,323 No, no, no, no, you're the one who wanted 279 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,033 to go to the suburbs of New Jersey. 280 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,656 You have to experience this raw. 281 00:11:25,681 --> 00:11:27,780 No hemp-colored glasses. 282 00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:31,004 Hemp-colored glasses? 283 00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:33,787 - Hey. - You made it. 284 00:11:33,812 --> 00:11:36,918 - Good to see you. - Nice to see you again. 285 00:11:36,943 --> 00:11:38,384 - Hi. - Nice to see you. 286 00:11:38,409 --> 00:11:39,342 Nice to see you too. 287 00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,828 - This is for you. - Oh, thank you. 288 00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:42,367 Well, I hope you like steak. 289 00:11:42,392 --> 00:11:43,681 - Yes. - Love steak. 290 00:11:43,706 --> 00:11:45,394 - Right. - With truffle butter. 291 00:11:45,419 --> 00:11:47,002 Yum, yum. 292 00:11:47,353 --> 00:11:49,064 Thanks for this. I'm gonna go decant it. 293 00:11:49,089 --> 00:11:50,825 Come on in. 294 00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:52,733 I think we should say something. 295 00:11:52,758 --> 00:11:53,993 About what? 296 00:11:54,018 --> 00:11:56,954 She obviously has no idea what truffle butter is. 297 00:11:56,979 --> 00:11:59,291 It's not butter made with truffles? 298 00:12:00,926 --> 00:12:02,842 Okay, you are officially not allowed to give me 299 00:12:02,867 --> 00:12:04,299 any more crap about not knowing 300 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,266 what a trellis is. 301 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,363 Well, what is it, then? 302 00:12:06,388 --> 00:12:08,298 Later, after dinner. 303 00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:10,909 Don't Google it. 304 00:12:10,934 --> 00:12:12,476 I can look it up. 305 00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:14,353 Okay, fine. 306 00:12:14,378 --> 00:12:17,480 You... you guys have a really lovely place here. 307 00:12:17,505 --> 00:12:18,833 Oh, my God. 308 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:24,283 Jade is blowing her advance before I see pages. 309 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:27,459 "Check out my new python-skinned boots." 310 00:12:27,484 --> 00:12:29,312 $40,000. 311 00:12:29,337 --> 00:12:32,713 #BlowingMyAdvance, #ChestyPeters. 312 00:12:32,738 --> 00:12:34,626 - Who's Chesty Peters? - You. 313 00:12:34,651 --> 00:12:37,294 So on top of all of this, she's also mocking me? 314 00:12:37,319 --> 00:12:39,347 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, she actually thinks 315 00:12:39,372 --> 00:12:40,522 that's your name. 316 00:12:40,546 --> 00:12:43,253 She has the entire budget for my imprint. 317 00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:44,991 She can destroy me. Why? 318 00:12:45,016 --> 00:12:46,603 I am so nice. 319 00:12:46,628 --> 00:12:48,402 Am I not the nicest person that you know? 320 00:12:48,427 --> 00:12:49,763 Yes, yes, of course you are. 321 00:12:49,788 --> 00:12:52,205 Oh, wait, wait, wait, here. Here, she just tweeted this. 322 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,134 Douche Burger Kings? 323 00:12:53,159 --> 00:12:57,362 #BlowingMyAdvance, #ChestyPeters. 324 00:12:57,528 --> 00:13:00,436 I mean, at least she's feeding homeless people hamburgers. 325 00:13:00,461 --> 00:13:02,318 No, those aren't hamburgers. Those are douche burgers. 326 00:13:02,343 --> 00:13:04,221 They're made with lobster, caviar, foie gras, 327 00:13:04,246 --> 00:13:05,628 and they're served in a gold-leaf wrapper. 328 00:13:05,653 --> 00:13:07,815 Dude, these... These cost $600 each. 329 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,704 They're from a food truck. 330 00:13:09,729 --> 00:13:12,296 Wharton graduates. They're the wacky MBAs. 331 00:13:12,687 --> 00:13:14,367 I have to stop her. 332 00:13:14,392 --> 00:13:15,892 - We gotta go get her. - I'm leaving right now. 333 00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:17,249 You go out. I'll call the Uber. 334 00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:20,554 Excuse me, sorry. I like your jacket. 335 00:13:21,035 --> 00:13:22,401 Tell me about the sex. 336 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:24,002 It's mind-blowing, isn't it? 337 00:13:24,028 --> 00:13:25,975 Oh, I don't... 338 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,788 Like, curl-your-toes, off-the-carts mind-blowing? 339 00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:32,973 It's, uh... it's... it's... It's... it's pretty good. 340 00:13:32,998 --> 00:13:35,078 Of course it is. Look at him. 341 00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:37,202 Oh, my God, Liza, you deserve this. 342 00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:39,020 After everything you went through with David. 343 00:13:39,045 --> 00:13:39,990 Mm. 344 00:13:40,122 --> 00:13:41,569 Give me some details. 345 00:13:41,594 --> 00:13:43,577 Oh, come on. I don't... I'm not... 346 00:13:43,602 --> 00:13:44,975 I don't really feel comfortable. 347 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,141 Are you kidding me? 348 00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:48,115 What is the point of having a boy toy 349 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,367 if you can't share the details with your bored, married friend? 350 00:13:50,392 --> 00:13:52,225 He's not a boy toy. 351 00:13:53,017 --> 00:13:54,930 Oh, come... I know he's young, 352 00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:57,354 but you've met him now. 353 00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,990 And we actually have something. 354 00:14:00,015 --> 00:14:02,098 Okay, all right. 355 00:14:02,123 --> 00:14:05,775 I really don't want to be the one to say this, 356 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,138 but I'm afraid if I don't, no one else will, so... 357 00:14:09,163 --> 00:14:10,170 Say what? 358 00:14:10,195 --> 00:14:13,413 You're acting like a girl who met a boy, 359 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:14,755 but you're not. 360 00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:18,231 You're a middle-aged divorcée who needs validation 361 00:14:18,256 --> 00:14:20,380 that she's still got it. 362 00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:23,434 That's what Josh is. He's your 911. 363 00:14:23,459 --> 00:14:25,193 - What? - Well, I mean the Porsche. 364 00:14:25,218 --> 00:14:26,300 God, this is so difficult. 365 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:27,658 Feel free to stop at any time. 366 00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,814 I'm saying this as your friend. 367 00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:32,602 You know this will end. 368 00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:34,736 I mean, Demi Moore couldn't make it work, 369 00:14:34,761 --> 00:14:35,956 and she's gorgeous. 370 00:14:35,980 --> 00:14:37,513 I mean, not that you're not. You are. 371 00:14:37,538 --> 00:14:40,422 But, listen, people age in spurts, 372 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,792 like growth spurts. 373 00:14:41,872 --> 00:14:44,397 Right, you look great now, but another couple years, 374 00:14:44,422 --> 00:14:45,862 you could get slammed with an age spurt, 375 00:14:45,887 --> 00:14:47,017 and then where are you? 376 00:14:47,042 --> 00:14:48,459 You have wasted your last gasp of youth 377 00:14:48,484 --> 00:14:50,232 on Mr. Hunkalicious when you could be finding 378 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:53,092 a real partner, someone appropriate, 379 00:14:53,117 --> 00:14:55,649 someone you don't have to hide from your friends. 380 00:14:55,674 --> 00:14:56,644 Josh is. 381 00:14:56,669 --> 00:14:59,526 Oh, no, don't say he's a real partner. 382 00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:02,252 Come on. 383 00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:05,941 I know it feels good now. 384 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,337 I just don't want you to mistake it 385 00:15:08,362 --> 00:15:09,418 for something it's not 386 00:15:09,443 --> 00:15:12,829 and wind up getting hurt all over again. 387 00:15:12,854 --> 00:15:15,122 Are you ready to see the trellis? 388 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:18,064 Oh, the trellis. 389 00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:20,673 Come on. 390 00:15:28,649 --> 00:15:30,601 Liza? 391 00:15:30,626 --> 00:15:33,219 Coming. 392 00:15:41,928 --> 00:15:43,228 - Missed her. - Ugh! 393 00:15:43,253 --> 00:15:44,452 What are we gonna do? 394 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,580 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 395 00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:51,188 Here, she just tweeted this. 396 00:15:51,213 --> 00:15:54,177 Where do you even get a gold coke straw? 397 00:15:54,202 --> 00:15:55,529 Etsy. 398 00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:59,117 Oh, my God, she's literally blowing her advance. 399 00:15:59,142 --> 00:16:00,441 What... what am I gonna do? 400 00:16:00,466 --> 00:16:01,409 Wait, wait. 401 00:16:01,434 --> 00:16:03,354 Screenshot that. 402 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,662 Okay, blow it up. 403 00:16:04,687 --> 00:16:07,064 Look at that moisturizer. 404 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:09,591 That is from a guest room at the Gramercy Park Hotel. 405 00:16:09,616 --> 00:16:11,156 How do you know that? 406 00:16:11,181 --> 00:16:13,017 Oh, it's where Hector goes to blow off steam 407 00:16:13,042 --> 00:16:14,561 and the room service waiters. 408 00:16:15,771 --> 00:16:19,180 Okay, ready? One, two... 409 00:16:19,205 --> 00:16:20,787 Prepare to be blown away. 410 00:16:22,562 --> 00:16:24,138 Wow. 411 00:16:26,947 --> 00:16:29,224 I feel like I could spend the rest of my life 412 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,752 just looking at this. 413 00:16:30,777 --> 00:16:33,304 - Thanks, man. - Yeah. 414 00:16:33,329 --> 00:16:34,979 Liza, isn't it unreal? 415 00:16:35,004 --> 00:16:37,393 Yeah. 416 00:16:43,445 --> 00:16:44,981 You okay? 417 00:16:45,006 --> 00:16:49,342 My heart is pumping really loudly in my chest. 418 00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:50,149 Can you hear it? 419 00:16:50,174 --> 00:16:52,990 - Your heart? - Yeah. 420 00:16:53,015 --> 00:16:55,429 Liza? 421 00:16:55,738 --> 00:16:57,348 Did you eat the lollipop? 422 00:16:57,373 --> 00:16:59,452 - No. - Liza... 423 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,910 - Yes. - Did you eat the whole thing? 424 00:17:01,935 --> 00:17:03,570 I feel... 425 00:17:03,595 --> 00:17:07,728 I feel, um, wow. 426 00:17:07,753 --> 00:17:11,113 - She ate a lollipop? - I did! 427 00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:14,569 - Sugar makes me nuts-o. - Yeah, hmm. 428 00:17:14,594 --> 00:17:16,844 I'm hypoglycemic. 429 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,524 Yeah, she's gonna be all right. 430 00:17:19,549 --> 00:17:23,999 Um, I think we should probably get going, though. 431 00:17:24,058 --> 00:17:25,982 We had such a great time. 432 00:17:26,007 --> 00:17:27,374 Thank you guys so much. 433 00:17:27,399 --> 00:17:29,580 Next time, more protein. 434 00:17:29,605 --> 00:17:31,551 Eat more steak. 435 00:17:31,576 --> 00:17:34,293 - With truffle butter. - Shh! 436 00:17:34,318 --> 00:17:38,020 - Come on. - Michelle, you so nasty. 437 00:17:38,045 --> 00:17:39,533 - I-I... - What? 438 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,487 Why am I nasty? 439 00:17:43,905 --> 00:17:45,492 What's wrong with truffle butter? 440 00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:47,383 - Nothing. - Google it. 441 00:17:47,408 --> 00:17:49,550 No, don't, don't. 442 00:17:49,575 --> 00:17:52,276 Just bye, bye. 443 00:17:52,301 --> 00:17:55,135 Google it. Google it, now. 444 00:17:55,694 --> 00:17:56,842 Jade. 445 00:17:58,783 --> 00:18:00,978 Jade, open the door! 446 00:18:01,003 --> 00:18:02,130 Hey, quick question. 447 00:18:02,155 --> 00:18:04,297 Um, would you be mad if I stayed at this party? 448 00:18:04,323 --> 00:18:06,038 No, I thought so. 449 00:18:06,063 --> 00:18:08,045 Jade Winslow. 450 00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:10,538 Oh! Hey, Chesty. 451 00:18:10,563 --> 00:18:12,045 Do you not know my name? 452 00:18:12,070 --> 00:18:14,539 Is everybody getting their face painted? 453 00:18:16,159 --> 00:18:17,441 Where are my pages? 454 00:18:17,466 --> 00:18:19,216 Oh, is that why you're here? 455 00:18:19,241 --> 00:18:21,158 Is that why you busted into my party 456 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:24,184 and threatened my agent and won't stop harassing me 457 00:18:24,209 --> 00:18:27,176 over some, like, stupid pages? 458 00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:29,618 Yes. I need those. 459 00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:31,810 I don't know how you expect me to publish your book 460 00:18:31,835 --> 00:18:32,920 without them. 461 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,336 Don't you get it? 462 00:18:34,361 --> 00:18:38,486 Okay, bitch, there is no book. 463 00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:45,186 I am so screwed. 464 00:18:51,516 --> 00:18:53,158 Mm. 465 00:18:53,183 --> 00:18:55,245 Hi. 466 00:18:55,270 --> 00:18:56,403 How you feeling? 467 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,223 So stupid. 468 00:18:58,306 --> 00:19:01,027 I'm sorry I ate your lollipop. 469 00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,183 It's okay. 470 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,449 For future reference, though, 471 00:19:05,474 --> 00:19:07,365 you're supposed to lick it. 472 00:19:07,390 --> 00:19:09,787 You're not supposed to eat the whole thing. 473 00:19:09,812 --> 00:19:11,089 Mm. 474 00:19:11,424 --> 00:19:14,467 Why'd you do it, though? 475 00:19:14,885 --> 00:19:16,168 Hmm? 476 00:19:16,193 --> 00:19:19,027 Michelle sort of got under my skin. 477 00:19:19,052 --> 00:19:20,518 About what? 478 00:19:20,543 --> 00:19:21,910 About... 479 00:19:23,218 --> 00:19:24,667 Don't worry about it. 480 00:19:24,692 --> 00:19:26,458 Come on. 481 00:19:26,524 --> 00:19:28,190 If we're gonna have this relationship, 482 00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:29,754 we have to talk. 483 00:19:29,779 --> 00:19:31,713 You can't hide from everything. 484 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,151 Okay. 485 00:19:38,072 --> 00:19:42,474 Michelle sort of pointed out that the math between us 486 00:19:42,499 --> 00:19:44,267 presents problems. 487 00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:46,276 And what do you think? 488 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:50,129 I think she's not wrong. 489 00:19:52,528 --> 00:19:54,480 Go on. 490 00:19:54,505 --> 00:19:55,887 I guess I kind of do worry 491 00:19:55,912 --> 00:19:58,148 that this has an expiration date. 492 00:19:59,315 --> 00:20:01,359 Really? 493 00:20:02,029 --> 00:20:03,671 Why? 494 00:20:03,696 --> 00:20:06,415 A lot of reasons? 495 00:20:07,251 --> 00:20:09,991 I mean, maybe you'll want to have kids someday. 496 00:20:10,256 --> 00:20:12,390 Maybe. 497 00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:13,859 Right. 498 00:20:14,498 --> 00:20:17,820 Maybe we should just get married 499 00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:19,369 and start having kids. 500 00:20:21,357 --> 00:20:22,502 Shut up. 501 00:20:22,526 --> 00:20:23,715 You shut up. 502 00:20:29,424 --> 00:20:32,900 Look, I don't know 503 00:20:32,925 --> 00:20:35,435 what our future holds, 504 00:20:36,534 --> 00:20:39,568 but I know I don't want to bail on this. 505 00:20:39,593 --> 00:20:41,643 Me neither. 506 00:20:41,668 --> 00:20:45,253 So can we keep going? 507 00:20:46,991 --> 00:20:48,938 Yes. 35171

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.