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1
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,907
Think of it, Thing.
2
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,539
For 25 years,
3
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,581
we've attempted to contact Fester
in the great beyond,
4
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,421
and for 25 years,
5
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,963
nothing.
6
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:15,889
I'm beginning to think
my brother truly is lost.
7
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:29,148
Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.
8
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,489
Help me.
9
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,754
Look at her.
10
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,795
I would die for her.
11
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,590
I would kill for her.
12
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,713
Either way, what bliss.
13
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,606
- Unhappy, darling?
- Oh, yes.
14
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,393
Yes, completely.
15
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,743
Gomez,
16
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:21,575
the sun.
17
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:27,745
Oh, Tish, that's French.
18
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,166
Oui.
19
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,503
Cara mia.
20
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,888
En garde, monsieur Soieil.
21
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,760
Gomez?
22
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,181
Querida.
23
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,560
Last night you were unhinged.
24
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:51,401
You were like some
desperate howling demon.
25
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,653
You frightened me.
26
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,236
Do it again.
27
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,204
Thank you, Lurch.
28
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,455
Damn you, Addams!
29
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,741
Sorry about the window, Judge.
30
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,627
Keep the ball. I have a whole bucketful.
31
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,421
You moron!
32
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,510
It is a milestone, Tish.
33
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,266
This very night, our 25th séance.
34
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:10,352
All those years, gnawed by guilt,
35
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,815
undone by woe,
36
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,774
burning with uncertainty.
37
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,032
Don't torture yourself, Gomez.
38
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,319
That's my job.
39
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,614
Oh, Tish.
40
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,456
Imagine, darling,
if Fester did come back.
41
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,790
Half alive, barely human,
a rotting shell.
42
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,924
Don't tease.
43
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,935
Stop it! I'm warning you.
44
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,777
Look, darling. Tully is here.
45
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,777
- Tully!
- Romping with Gate.
46
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,831
These are your last paying clients,
may I remind you?
47
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,368
- If it gives you pleasure.
- Something has to.
48
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,754
Like a decent coat,
something dressy, for evening.
49
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,880
Ask for a loan. Beg!
50
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,041
No loans. I am not a bum.
51
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,711
Don't say it. I'll get the money.
52
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,174
I have a plan.
53
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,344
This is all so humiliating.
54
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,601
- Why did I marry you?
- Because I said yes.
55
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:33,893
I'm here to see Mrs. Addams
about the charity auction.
56
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,067
Stop! Let go!
57
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,218
- Missed!
- What's that?
58
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,094
Dirty pool, old man.
59
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,105
I like it.
60
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,318
Had enough?
61
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,996
Where's my pen?
62
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,249
Never mind. I'll take yours.
63
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,554
First, the old business.
64
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,060
Charity auction, it's ridiculous!
65
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,814
- Perhaps it's in here.
- I don't think so.
66
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,611
"Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe."
67
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,956
"Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe."
68
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,790
"Uncle Niknak."
69
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:25,758
"The Fester Addams
Offshore Retirement Fund?"
70
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,925
- What would it do?
- What wouldn't it do?
71
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,966
Fester, all tribute to thee.
72
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,760
- Some called him inhumanly evil.
- No!
73
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:37,930
Only our parents. I called him brother.
74
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:41,771
And his memory must live on forever
through money.
75
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,442
I'm gonna deposit the funds
under my name for tax purposes.
76
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,820
That's inspired.
77
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,280
He would've wanted it that way.
Beloved Fester.
78
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,574
Indeed!
79
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,624
- For Fester!
- For Fester! A brother!
80
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,204
- My brother!
- One of a kind!
81
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,416
- The doctors all said...
- Kind to animals, so good with children!
82
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,423
- They never proved anything.
- $1 million is the perfect amount.
83
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:08,051
- It's brilliant.
- It's untraceable!
84
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,139
But, Tully, it's not old business.
85
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,818
It's going to have to wait.
You know the rules better than that.
86
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,395
Why? But this is different.
This is in my name. Make an exception!
87
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,433
Old business is old business
and new business is new business
88
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,942
and this is new business
89
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,979
and we do not discuss
new business until
90
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,651
next quarter.
91
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,285
Next quarter?
92
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,029
Next quarter?
93
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:42,502
Fine lunge, but your riposte,
a tad rusty.
94
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,253
Make yourself comfortable, old man,
95
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:51,511
while I get the money
for the monthly expenses.
96
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:18,613
There it is.
Just what we've been searching for.
97
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,241
Thank you, Thing.
98
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,588
My God, what is it?
99
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,541
A finger trap
from the court of Emperor Wu.
100
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,835
It must be worth a fortune.
101
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:37,091
Oh, Morticia! This is too extravagant!
102
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,052
Even for the auction.
103
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,262
Let's keep it.
104
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:47,188
Hush, Mama. It's for charity.
Widows and orphans.
105
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,777
We need more of them.
106
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,272
Margaret?
107
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,692
About the séance tonight.
108
00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:00,367
I wish you'd come. It's Gomez,
I'm terribly worried about him.
109
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,742
He won't eat. He can't sleep.
110
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,915
He keeps coughing up blood.
111
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,581
He coughs up blood?
112
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,967
Well, not like he used to.
113
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,093
Down, kitty!
114
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,132
There, the monthly expenses.
115
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,638
Miss Bradbury.
116
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,108
Miss Bradbury!
117
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:15,738
- She's gone home, Mr. Alford.
- Oh, Mrs. Craven!
118
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,989
- I was just about to call you.
- I'm certain you were.
119
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:23,530
You haven't met my son Gordon,
have you, Mr. Alford?
120
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,786
Hello.
121
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:32,876
Is this the one, Mother'?
That deadbeat you mentioned?
122
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,028
No, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
123
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,262
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
You have to listen to me.
124
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:42,048
Do we, Mr. Alford? And why?
125
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,263
Please, hear me out!
126
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,307
Hear me out!
127
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,643
Please. Please!
128
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,184
Your call, Mother.
129
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,650
Gordon and I
enjoy a very special relationship.
130
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,611
- She's a pip!
- Refreshing, no?
131
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,741
- Down, Gordon.
- Mother?
132
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,493
- Gordon.
- Gordon!
133
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:08,829
We've lent you a considerable sum,
many thousands of dollars.
134
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,076
Payment due.
135
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,563
I don't have the money to repay you.
I've tried everything.
136
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,378
- Oh, Gordon, I want to believe him.
- So do I.
137
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,713
Make me proud.
138
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,593
No, no, no, no, no.
139
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,809
- He lied to us, Mother.
- No, no. It's not what you think.
140
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,066
Those are doubloons
for the Addams account.
141
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,271
Addams?
142
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,812
There's more, there's a fortune,
but nobody can get to it.
143
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,104
Don't you think I've tried?
144
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,945
Have you? Have you tried hard enough?
145
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:44,782
- Ask him, sweetheart.
- No, no, no, sweetheart. Don't ask.
146
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,127
Fester.
147
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,763
- It's a miserable night.
- I know, darling.
148
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,057
Séance weather.
149
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,769
Children, we're starting!
150
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,062
Put down that antenna.
151
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:22,695
It's unbelievable.
This hideous creature and my little boy.
152
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,866
They could be twins.
153
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:32,124
But they're his family. What
makes you think they'll fall for it?
154
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,002
You shave your head, we dress you up.
No problem.
155
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,161
They'll think he's Fester,
their long-lost brother.
156
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,165
I hope so, Mr. Alford, for your sake.
157
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,255
Hey, I've been the Addams' lawyer
for years.
158
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,511
- They're morons.
- Obviously.
159
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,888
- Now what about the gold?
- They got this vault, it's somewhere...
160
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,640
- Where?
- I'm not sure.
161
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,675
That's a problem, isn't it?
162
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,561
Now listen,
Fester's been missing for 25 years.
163
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,438
He and Gomez had some sort of a fight
164
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:57,020
and Gomez feels
incredibly guilty about it.
165
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,026
He'll tell you anything. Just ask.
166
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,735
- It's foolproof.
- It had better be. Now, get out.
167
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,316
It's gonna be great.
168
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:08,327
You're gonna get back
all the money I owe you and more.
169
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,738
You'll see. Really.
170
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:15,744
This is it, Mother.
The one we've been waiting for.
171
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:20,256
No more loan sharking,
no more storefront scams.
172
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,667
I get the gold, and we're gone.
173
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:26,087
And Tully takes the rap.
Gordon, it's brilliant.
174
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,927
No, not Gordon!
175
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,888
- Of course not.
- Fester.
176
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,357
Big night for you guys, eh, small fry?
177
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,944
Hello, sweetheart.
178
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,233
Could you?
179
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,908
Oh, thank God.
180
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,410
Welcome, honored guests.
181
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,542
Entrails?
182
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,315
Sing, O spirits, hearken all souls.
183
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:21,518
Every year on this date,
184
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:24,608
we offer a clarion call
to Fester Addams.
185
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:25,942
Stop it.
186
00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:27,649
Pugsley.
187
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:33,612
Kids.
188
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,791
From generation to generation,
189
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,665
our beacon to the beyond.
190
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:44,332
All close eyes and join hands.
191
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,298
What a grip!
192
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:54,808
My hand!
193
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,812
My hand! She's got my hand!
194
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,949
- Excuse me.
- Okay, pumpkin, sit down.
195
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:13,202
- Join the fun.
- Mama, you should know better.
196
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,159
Thing, you're a handful.
197
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,074
Wednesday.
198
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,415
Let us ransom you
from the power of the grave.
199
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,330
Tonight, O Death, let us be your plague.
200
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,211
Mama.
201
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,217
Fester Addams,
202
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,472
I feel that he's near.
203
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,391
Fester Addams, gather your strength
204
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,731
and knock three times.
205
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,692
Did you hear that?
206
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,198
- Ask again, Mama, quickly.
- By all means.
207
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,533
Ask. Ask.
208
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:01,918
Fester Addams,
I demand that you knock again!
209
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,049
He's at the door!
210
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,740
- Could it be?
- Is it him?
211
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,027
- Is it possible?
- Oh, my God.
212
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,745
- Fester.
- Gomez.
213
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:03,388
Good evening. I am Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
214
00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:11,696
He was found in Miami,
tangled in a tuna net.
215
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:16,075
It was just last month
during the Hurricane Helga.
216
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,370
The sky, it was black like pitch.
217
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:23,749
The waves, they were walls of doom.
Can you imagine?
218
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,253
They drag him from the ocean,
from the very jaws of oblivion.
219
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:32,417
I'm telling you.
There were tests, so many tests!
220
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:36,471
A complete psychological profile.
221
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:37,922
At long last,
222
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,637
the Florida Department
of the Fish and the Game,
223
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,430
they say, "Lo and behold,
oh, my, oh, my, oh, my,
224
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:46,973
"go tell it on the mountains,
225
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,559
"he is your brother."
226
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:55,524
Boom! They give him to me
at Human Services,
227
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:59,444
and I am bringing him,
after all these years,
228
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:02,238
after who knows what heartache,
229
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:04,748
after the naked and the dead,
230
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,911
I am bringing him home to you!
231
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:10,254
- That's preposterous.
- Margaret...
232
00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:12,573
Isn't that the most ridiculous thing
you've ever heard?
233
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,884
- Possibly...
- It certainly is.
234
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,972
- Now you're back.
- Yes, back.
235
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:23,179
Back to share your joys, your sorrows.
236
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,516
- Hey, everything.
- Well, I just don't know.
237
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,773
Honey, how does this work, again?
238
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,059
An infant would understand.
239
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,489
Fester Addams, home at long last.
240
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,487
Well, at least for a week.
241
00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:44,872
- A week?
- Don't be ridiculous. You're home.
242
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,748
Sorry, but I have to get back.
243
00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:50,502
I've got a lot of things cooking
in the Bermuda Triangle.
244
00:22:50,661 --> 00:22:52,004
Oh, Gomez.
245
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:55,507
- The Bermuda Triangle.
- Devil's Island.
246
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,668
The Black Hole of Calcutta.
247
00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,839
- Excuse us.
- Second honeymoon.
248
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:05,635
Dr. Pinder-Schloss,
will you be staying with us, too?
249
00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:08,266
No, no. I must be going.
250
00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:12,809
But I will be back, you can bet,
to be checking on Fester's adjustment.
251
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,227
Cool.
252
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,863
Nobody gets out of
the Bermuda Triangle.
253
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:19,899
Not even for a vacation.
254
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,567
Everyone knows that.
255
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:25,489
Oh, my little bundle.
So much you don't understand.
256
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:29,409
The human spirit,
it is a hard thing to kill.
257
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,545
Even with a chain saw.
258
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,264
Unpacking? Let me.
259
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:47,052
It's all right. I can do it.
260
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,603
Crowbar.
261
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,233
Dynamite.
262
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:03,701
Cyanide.
263
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:09,911
Fester, as if we'd run out.
264
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,663
Good night.
265
00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:49,284
Nosy little brat.
266
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:52,726
Who's there?
267
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:31,090
My own dear brother.
268
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:36,728
- I've got goose bumps.
- I know.
269
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:42,568
Screams in the night,
it can only mean one thing.
270
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:45,946
He's home.
271
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,909
Please! Please!
272
00:26:51,068 --> 00:26:53,571
Leave me alone!
273
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:21,982
Breakfast?
274
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,604
Damn, it's good to have you back.
Let's go.
275
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,275
Two out of three?
276
00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:38,248
Home cooking!
277
00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:41,251
There's nothing like it in the world.
278
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,500
May I have the salt?
279
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:47,166
What do we say?
280
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,592
Now.
281
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:03,607
- What is this?
- Mama's spécialité de la maison.
282
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:05,650
Oh, Tish.
283
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:10,193
Start with the eyes.
284
00:28:12,733 --> 00:28:14,576
Did you sleep well?
285
00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:18,247
- Like the dead.
- Really?
286
00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,085
Who would have thought
the Bermuda Triangle
287
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:21,667
could change a man so much?
288
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:25,921
You used to toss and turn all night.
We had to chain you to the bedpost.
289
00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:27,877
Doesn't make sense.
290
00:28:29,249 --> 00:28:33,880
The Bermuda Triangle is a very strange
and mysterious place.
291
00:28:34,504 --> 00:28:37,724
You'd be surprised
at all the things you don't know.
292
00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:40,891
She certainly would.
293
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,476
Wednesday adores
the Bermuda Triangle.
294
00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:46,813
She studies it.
Death at sea, she's hooked.
295
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:48,644
Ask me anything.
296
00:28:52,356 --> 00:28:55,405
Being in my old room
sure brings back memories.
297
00:28:56,735 --> 00:29:00,080
- Remember Camp Custer?
- For preteen offenders.
298
00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:11,583
Aren't memories precious?
299
00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:15,588
Today I'd like to wander
through the house, remembering.
300
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,973
No, no. Sorry, old man.
No wandering today.
301
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:20,554
Today we're going straight to the vault.
302
00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:33,276
Bravo, Pugsley!
303
00:29:39,403 --> 00:29:40,746
- "Greed"!
- "Greed"!
304
00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:51,757
I feel like we're children again.
305
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:53,504
Tag. You're it!
306
00:30:16,231 --> 00:30:18,484
Smell that air, Fester.
307
00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:23,614
Like a tomb.
308
00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:33,336
The sea, your second home.
309
00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,126
Ship ahoy-
310
00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:53,940
Do you think that's really Uncle Fester?
311
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:57,106
Father says so,
but I think Mother isn't sure.
312
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:02,406
Pugsley, sit in the chair.
313
00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:04,742
- Why?
- So we can play a game.
314
00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:11,586
What game?
315
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:16,421
It's called, "ls There a God?"
316
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,610
The vault!
317
00:31:44,069 --> 00:31:47,539
Two to the right, ten to the left.
318
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:50,325
And then around to...
319
00:31:50,867 --> 00:31:51,959
Five.
320
00:31:52,869 --> 00:31:54,086
Eleven.
321
00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:58,042
Two, ten, eleven. Eyes, fingers, toes.
322
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,252
So many years.
323
00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:12,564
- Welcome back.
- Thanks.
324
00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:15,725
Our secret place.
325
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:21,736
If these walls could speak, eh, old man?
326
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:25,903
- What would they say?
- You tell me.
327
00:32:26,736 --> 00:32:28,079
You first.
328
00:32:29,072 --> 00:32:30,574
Senior partner.
329
00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:32,913
Junior spaceman.
330
00:32:35,036 --> 00:32:36,788
First a brandy. Do the honors.
331
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,083
I've got a real treat in store.
332
00:32:39,249 --> 00:32:41,843
Where is it, you ridiculous imbecile?
333
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:28,845
Show time!
334
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:01,126
There, the debutante ball.
335
00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:04,797
Remember that fateful night?
336
00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:07,095
Of course.
337
00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:13,889
Your first cigar.
338
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:17,397
What? Come on, old man.
I've smoked since I was five.
339
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,229
Mother insisted.
340
00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:24,192
Flora and Fauna.
341
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:26,902
Quite the pair, eh, Gomez?
342
00:34:27,232 --> 00:34:28,984
Can you ever forgive me?
343
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:31,907
What?
344
00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:34,330
I didn't love them,
345
00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:37,743
yet I wooed them both
out of foolish pride.
346
00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:41,376
You were so dashing,
you could have any woman you wanted,
347
00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:43,040
dead or alive.
348
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,133
I was jealous.
349
00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:47,511
Insanely jealous.
350
00:34:47,669 --> 00:34:49,387
I admit that now.
351
00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:55,218
But I did not mean to drive you off,
352
00:34:55,385 --> 00:34:57,558
not to the Bermuda Triangle.
353
00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,897
Water under the bridge.
354
00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:02,518
Forgiven. Forgotten.
355
00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:12,076
Come on. Say it.
356
00:35:12,902 --> 00:35:15,621
- Say the secret password.
- The password?
357
00:35:16,406 --> 00:35:18,579
Come on. Stop fooling. You remember.
358
00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:21,666
Please. I'm choking. Please.
359
00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:24,547
You forgot our secret password?
360
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,084
The word we used 100 times a day?
361
00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:29,378
Our special private name
for each other?
362
00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,717
That was a long time ago
when we were children.
363
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,223
You almost killed me,
364
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:37,227
you demented freak.
365
00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:40,730
Poor devil, what did they do to you
in that Bermuda Triangle?
366
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:43,392
But if he's not Uncle Fester,
then who is he?
367
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:45,060
Somebody else.
368
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:49,398
It has to warm up.
369
00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:52,659
- Why?
- So it can kill you.
370
00:35:53,276 --> 00:35:54,778
I knew that.
371
00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:59,287
- Children, what are you doing?
- I'm going to electrocute him.
372
00:35:59,449 --> 00:36:01,577
But we're late for the charity auction.
373
00:36:01,743 --> 00:36:04,292
- But, Mother...
- I said no.
374
00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:06,130
Please?
375
00:36:07,082 --> 00:36:08,584
Oh, all right.
376
00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:19,848
This magnificent piece
377
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:24,023
is encrusted with rubies
and 15 emerald chips.
378
00:36:24,349 --> 00:36:29,606
It was donated
by Morticia and Gomez Addams.
379
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:32,357
Remember, this year,
over half our proceeds
380
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,653
will benefit the elderly
and the mentally disabled.
381
00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:39,414
I'll open the bidding at $5,000.
382
00:36:39,572 --> 00:36:42,200
Five... Not good enough.
383
00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:44,586
- $20,000.
- What are they doing?
384
00:36:44,744 --> 00:36:47,418
- I have 20.
- Twenty-five.
385
00:36:48,123 --> 00:36:49,466
Twenty-five.
386
00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:50,876
Thirty.
387
00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:53,423
Thirty-five!
388
00:36:55,463 --> 00:36:59,388
- Fifty.
- I have $50,000.
389
00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:00,928
Your turn, my ecstasy.
390
00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:04,689
$50,000, going once.
$50,000, going twice.
391
00:37:06,516 --> 00:37:10,942
Sold to Morticia Addams for $50,000.
392
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,375
Isn't it too enchanting?
393
00:37:24,534 --> 00:37:26,411
How do you take it off?
394
00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:31,173
There's a trick to it,
395
00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:34,920
of course.
396
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:48,062
"How do you take it off?" That's absurd.
397
00:37:48,391 --> 00:37:51,895
That finger trap was a party favor
at his 10th birthday!
398
00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:57,943
Oh, no.
399
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,244
Father's playing with his trains.
400
00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:04,203
He wore that finger trap for two years!
401
00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:06,367
Mother had to teach him
to eat with his feet.
402
00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:09,162
And the combination and the password
403
00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:11,923
and my cigar and he slept so well!
404
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,049
He's using the diesel.
405
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:29,732
The covered bridge.
406
00:38:33,102 --> 00:38:34,319
Dead man's curve.
407
00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,831
It's all about Uncle Fester, isn't it?
408
00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:43,632
Spirits above me, give me a sign.
409
00:39:44,173 --> 00:39:46,892
Shall I be joyous or shall I be damned?
410
00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,407
Sleepless night?
411
00:40:07,322 --> 00:40:09,120
Walk with me, Fester.
412
00:40:15,204 --> 00:40:16,706
Aunt LaBorgia.
413
00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:19,384
Executed by a firing squad.
414
00:40:20,877 --> 00:40:22,379
Cousin Pledge.
415
00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:25,974
Torn limb from limb by four wild horses.
416
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:29,848
Darling Uncle Eimar.
417
00:40:32,722 --> 00:40:34,190
Buried alive.
418
00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:38,565
Psychopaths, fiends,
419
00:40:38,728 --> 00:40:40,401
mad-dog killers.
420
00:40:41,064 --> 00:40:43,908
Brutes, Fester. Pioneers.
421
00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:46,077
Lest we forget.
422
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:49,205
Your beloved Muerto.
423
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:54,210
After you left,
he was simply a different vulture.
424
00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:57,706
He wouldn't circle.
425
00:40:58,706 --> 00:41:00,379
He wouldn't peck.
426
00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:04,553
That's how much
you mean to this family.
427
00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:13,726
Mother and Father Addams.
428
00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:18,435
How I wish the children
could have known them better.
429
00:41:19,227 --> 00:41:21,571
But tell that to an angry mob.
430
00:41:24,941 --> 00:41:29,742
And our credo,
"Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc."
431
00:41:30,530 --> 00:41:33,875
We gladly feast
on those who would subdue us.
432
00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:36,707
Not just pretty words.
433
00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:44,424
As an Addams,
you understand completely, don't you?
434
00:41:46,963 --> 00:41:50,058
As an Addams, yes, I do.
435
00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:55,388
Good night, Fester.
436
00:41:57,932 --> 00:41:59,479
Rest in peace.
437
00:42:08,818 --> 00:42:10,946
They're on to me, Mother.
I'm almost sure.
438
00:42:11,487 --> 00:42:13,330
Of course I tried.
I still can't find it.
439
00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:14,610
You've got to get over here.
440
00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:16,955
Arsenic, cyanide. Cyanide.
Arsenic, arsenic.
441
00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:18,999
Don't say that.
442
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:21,790
You know I do.
443
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,925
His trains are everywhere.
The children are beside themselves.
444
00:42:28,588 --> 00:42:30,590
Is that for your brother?
445
00:42:30,923 --> 00:42:32,550
I don't think so.
446
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:42,185
This can't go on.
447
00:42:42,351 --> 00:42:44,854
How can I help him? Tell me, Mama.
448
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,820
"Troubled husbands."
449
00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:50,701
- "Adultery"?
- Oh, no.
450
00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:54,573
- "Financial, money troubles"?
- No.
451
00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:59,252
- "Turned into toad or reptile."
- Ls there an index?
452
00:43:01,245 --> 00:43:04,169
They know I'm a fraud, the whole bunch.
453
00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:06,168
It's not going to work.
454
00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:09,679
Who knows?
Gomez, that overheated moron?
455
00:43:10,129 --> 00:43:12,723
He's no moron. He's Fester's brother.
456
00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:14,429
They had some awful fight years ago.
457
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,686
He's suspicious,
they all are, I can tell.
458
00:43:16,844 --> 00:43:19,063
Really? Well,
thank God I came over here.
459
00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:23,728
I will counsel the troubled family,
ease their distress.
460
00:43:23,893 --> 00:43:26,521
It's my calling. Remember, Gordon?
461
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:29,691
- What?
- I'm a doctor.
462
00:43:32,485 --> 00:43:36,035
Why don't you speak to Fester, darling?
He's right outside the door.
463
00:43:36,197 --> 00:43:39,326
I would speak with Fester
if that were Fester.
464
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:42,708
But that is not. That's an impostor!
465
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:45,339
An impostore!
466
00:43:45,540 --> 00:43:48,214
A charlatan! A sham!
467
00:43:48,543 --> 00:43:50,045
A counterfeit.
468
00:43:57,552 --> 00:44:00,897
O, villain, villain,
smiling, damned villain!
469
00:44:01,055 --> 00:44:03,228
Who calls me a villain?
Breaks my pate across?
470
00:44:03,391 --> 00:44:04,563
- Bloodshed.
- Plucks off my beard,
471
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:08,525
- and blows it in my face?
- If I must strike you dead, I will.
472
00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:19,661
No!
473
00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:23,245
No, no, no, no, no, no!
474
00:44:24,954 --> 00:44:26,706
Give me that sword.
475
00:44:27,623 --> 00:44:29,796
Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone?
476
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:32,678
- He's only a child.
- No excuse.
477
00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:36,466
Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
478
00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:39,806
A faker! A phony!
479
00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:41,687
An utter fraud!
480
00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:46,146
- A base, deceitful...
- Mr. Addams!
481
00:44:47,435 --> 00:44:50,655
I believe I am understanding.
I can help, yes?
482
00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:54,617
The theory of displacement.
483
00:44:55,276 --> 00:44:56,949
Is this familiar?
484
00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:58,780
No. Tish?
485
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:01,449
Oh, it is too exciting.
486
00:45:01,824 --> 00:45:03,497
I will explain.
487
00:45:03,784 --> 00:45:05,752
Is it unpleasant?
488
00:45:06,454 --> 00:45:07,671
Deeply-
489
00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:13,886
Your very own brother,
you drive him away.
490
00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:15,843
"Go. Off with you."
491
00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:20,060
But then you are feeling
the little black monster.
492
00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:22,721
- Pugsley.
- Guilt. Yes?
493
00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:26,482
Your brother returns, you feel guilty,
494
00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:29,235
- you displace.
- I do?
495
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:33,281
The feelings in your brain cells,
they bubble and collide.
496
00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:36,484
You suspect things.
497
00:45:36,651 --> 00:45:39,370
You love him, but you resent him.
498
00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:41,990
Love, hate. Hate, love.
499
00:45:43,032 --> 00:45:44,705
Like for Mama. No?
500
00:45:45,201 --> 00:45:48,125
But I didn't hate my mother,
it was an accident.
501
00:45:48,287 --> 00:45:52,713
It's a very common psychosis,
I'm seeing it every day.
502
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,502
Lucky doctor.
503
00:45:55,044 --> 00:45:58,389
Displacement. How bizarre.
504
00:45:58,547 --> 00:46:01,391
And here I thought
Fester was the problem.
505
00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:03,394
- He's sullen.
- He's furtive.
506
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:04,678
- Backstabbing.
- He sulks.
507
00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:06,285
- I suspect him.
- You're unbalanced.
508
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:09,897
And I hate him. By God, you're right!
509
00:46:10,393 --> 00:46:12,066
He is Fester!
510
00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:14,689
Thank you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
511
00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:16,858
I do what I can.
512
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:19,777
You see, children,
there's lots to learn.
513
00:46:23,906 --> 00:46:25,283
"Gangrene."
514
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,371
Uncle Fester,
how do you know so much?
515
00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:32,086
I've been around. I pick things up.
516
00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:34,383
In the Bermuda Triangle?
517
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:38,547
Look, children, a new chapter.
518
00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:41,390
- "Scabs."
- "Scabs."
519
00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:51,726
Three parts dynamite
with a nitroglycerin cap.
520
00:46:51,934 --> 00:46:55,689
It's perfect for small holes,
carports and tool sheds.
521
00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:03,745
Mother.
522
00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:07,041
Everyone will be
at the children's play tonight, correct?
523
00:47:07,199 --> 00:47:09,201
Oh, yes. I've been working with them.
524
00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:11,871
- It's going to be fun.
- Fun?
525
00:47:13,706 --> 00:47:16,300
Is that what we're here for? Fun?
526
00:47:17,126 --> 00:47:19,754
Darling, forgive me.
You see what they've driven me to?
527
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,299
I've raised a hand to my child,
my reason for living.
528
00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:28,897
- You can't go to the play.
- But the kids...
529
00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:31,558
The house will be deserted.
The vault will be ours.
530
00:47:31,724 --> 00:47:33,101
But, Mother...
531
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,654
Can you hear it, my treasure?
532
00:47:36,812 --> 00:47:39,406
My heartbeat. It beats only for you.
533
00:47:39,565 --> 00:47:42,318
Listen closely.
It says, "Gordon, I love you,
534
00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:44,579
"Gordon, the vault."
535
00:47:45,696 --> 00:47:47,198
I do hear it.
536
00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:51,502
Soon we'll have the money
and we'll be far from here.
537
00:47:51,911 --> 00:47:55,006
Loving mother, grateful son.
538
00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:56,790
Understood?
539
00:48:02,922 --> 00:48:05,016
There you are, at last.
540
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:08,936
What a fool I was to doubt you.
541
00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:11,848
Dr. Pinder-Schloss
explained everything.
542
00:48:12,014 --> 00:48:14,358
What a lovely woman. So chilly.
543
00:48:14,767 --> 00:48:17,896
Displacement. It's a common psychosis.
544
00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:20,156
- Isn't that grand?
- Is it?
545
00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:22,908
Look at it, Fester.
546
00:48:23,067 --> 00:48:27,413
The primeval ooze.
Quicksand, fumes, toxic waste.
547
00:48:27,571 --> 00:48:31,701
It's all ours, Fester.
You belong here, old man.
548
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:34,833
- Stay.
- You don't know what you're asking.
549
00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:39,049
You have a beautiful wife,
wonderful children,
550
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:41,343
a wasteland.
551
00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:44,013
I'm in the way.
552
00:48:44,713 --> 00:48:45,885
In the way?
553
00:48:46,715 --> 00:48:49,389
- My brother'?
- Gomez, take care!
554
00:48:51,220 --> 00:48:54,064
For you, life is all fun and games.
555
00:48:54,890 --> 00:48:57,985
A dance in a graveyard. Stench. Decay.
556
00:48:58,519 --> 00:49:02,023
- But things change.
- Precisely. You're back.
557
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:05,909
All those years apart, Fester.
558
00:49:06,527 --> 00:49:08,404
We can't do that again.
559
00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:12,791
You're home.
560
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:37,771
Fore!
561
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:44,106
Damn you, Addams!
562
00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:51,701
Uncle Fester?
563
00:49:51,864 --> 00:49:54,617
Come on, Uncle Fester.
Come to the play.
564
00:49:55,367 --> 00:49:57,290
I said I was busy.
565
00:49:57,620 --> 00:50:01,966
But you said you'd help us,
with the Shakespeare and the pus.
566
00:50:02,124 --> 00:50:03,797
I changed my mind.
567
00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:21,273
Mrs. Addams,
can I see you for a moment?
568
00:50:22,436 --> 00:50:24,905
I'm Susan Firkins.
I'm Wednesday's teacher.
569
00:50:25,064 --> 00:50:26,566
Oh, of course, Miss Firkins.
570
00:50:26,732 --> 00:50:29,326
Wednesday's told us
so much about you.
571
00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:42,674
Wednesday is an excellent student,
but, frankly, I'm concerned.
572
00:50:42,831 --> 00:50:45,209
You see,
this is our class bulletin board.
573
00:50:45,376 --> 00:50:49,927
This month, our theme is our heroes,
people we love and admire.
574
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:53,305
You see, Susan Ringo
has chosen the President.
575
00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:54,969
Isn't that sweet?
576
00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:58,643
And Harmony Feld
has picked Jane Pauley.
577
00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:02,897
Have you spoken to her parents?
578
00:51:03,644 --> 00:51:07,023
But Wednesday brought in this picture,
579
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:09,112
Calpurnia Addams.
580
00:51:09,567 --> 00:51:12,446
Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia.
581
00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:15,364
She was burned as a witch in 1706.
582
00:51:15,698 --> 00:51:18,622
They say she danced naked
in the town square
583
00:51:18,784 --> 00:51:20,786
and enslaved a minister.
584
00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:23,710
- Really?
- Oh, yes.
585
00:51:24,373 --> 00:51:28,799
But don't worry.
We've told Wednesday, college first.
586
00:51:30,004 --> 00:51:33,053
Isn't he adorable?
587
00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:36,848
- I made this myself.
- It's charming.
588
00:51:37,011 --> 00:51:38,763
What is he, a lizard?
589
00:51:39,263 --> 00:51:40,515
An elf.
590
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,313
Look at you.
591
00:51:49,815 --> 00:51:51,658
That's better.
592
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:54,700
You are too precious for words.
593
00:51:54,862 --> 00:51:57,456
Why, I could just eat you alive.
594
00:51:57,865 --> 00:52:00,038
Oh, no, Margaret. Too young.
595
00:52:31,607 --> 00:52:34,861
Wednesday. Pugsley.
I changed my mind.
596
00:52:35,736 --> 00:52:37,238
Uncle Fester.
597
00:52:43,869 --> 00:52:45,871
Gordon? Gordon?
598
00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:48,377
It's Mother.
599
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:53,386
Damn it, where is he?
600
00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:56,598
I never should have used him.
601
00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:09,736
I knew you couldn't stay away, old man.
602
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:30,583
Damn it.
603
00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:34,295
Gordon! Gordon!
604
00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:35,963
Are you there?
605
00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:38,845
Gordon.
606
00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,848
My goodness! Say! Look!
Would somebody come here!
607
00:53:46,014 --> 00:53:47,812
Oh, my! Oh, good...
608
00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:49,981
Oh, my!
609
00:53:51,353 --> 00:53:53,230
How all occasions
do inform against me,
610
00:53:53,397 --> 00:53:55,115
And spur my dull revenge!
611
00:53:55,274 --> 00:53:56,491
O, from this time forth,
612
00:53:56,650 --> 00:53:58,573
My thoughts be bloody,
or nothing worth!
613
00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:01,239
If I must strike you dead, I will.
614
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:05,663
A hit,
615
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:08,712
a very palpable hit.
616
00:54:19,381 --> 00:54:21,179
O proud death,
617
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:24,220
What feast is toward
in thine eternal cell?
618
00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:29,858
Sweet oblivion, open your arms!
619
00:54:47,409 --> 00:54:48,752
Bravo!
620
00:54:50,412 --> 00:54:52,881
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
621
00:54:53,415 --> 00:54:55,213
Bravo!
622
00:54:57,669 --> 00:54:59,216
Bravo!
623
00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:00,718
Bravo!
624
00:55:00,923 --> 00:55:03,847
There were sailors, pirates
625
00:55:04,676 --> 00:55:08,351
and a plane full of tourists
from Miami Beach,
626
00:55:09,056 --> 00:55:11,150
all lost in the Triangle.
627
00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:14,687
Uncle Fester,
will you take me there someday?
628
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,484
It's a promise.
629
00:55:17,397 --> 00:55:19,024
- Good night, Wednesday.
- Good night.
630
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:20,864
You were terrific.
631
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,621
Uncle Fester?
632
00:55:46,468 --> 00:55:48,266
A theatrical triumph.
633
00:55:49,054 --> 00:55:50,727
It's like a dream.
634
00:55:51,139 --> 00:55:54,484
When we first met,
it was an evening much like this.
635
00:55:55,102 --> 00:55:56,729
Magic in the air.
636
00:55:57,813 --> 00:55:58,985
A boy.
637
00:55:59,773 --> 00:56:00,990
A girl.
638
00:56:01,733 --> 00:56:03,235
An open grave.
639
00:56:03,986 --> 00:56:05,954
It was my first funeral.
640
00:56:06,738 --> 00:56:08,832
You were so beautiful.
641
00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:11,459
Pale and mysterious.
642
00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,872
No one even looked at the corpse.
643
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:17,340
Your cousin, Balthazar.
644
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,002
You were still a suspect.
645
00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:25,008
I couldn't stop staring at you
all through the eulogy.
646
00:56:26,341 --> 00:56:29,811
Your eyes, your moustache,
647
00:56:31,179 --> 00:56:32,522
your laugh.
648
00:56:34,349 --> 00:56:36,022
You bewitched me.
649
00:56:37,436 --> 00:56:39,530
I proposed that very night.
650
00:56:40,522 --> 00:56:44,197
Just think,
someday we'll be buried here
651
00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:47,617
side by side, six feet under
652
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:49,865
in matching coffins.
653
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:53,039
Our lifeless bodies
654
00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:57,297
rotting together for all eternity.
655
00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:01,213
Cara mia.
656
00:57:02,711 --> 00:57:04,338
Mon sauvage.
657
00:57:35,202 --> 00:57:36,920
Hey, Bigfoot.
658
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:43,594
Don't stare. Just get me out.
659
00:57:50,342 --> 00:57:51,343
Did you like the blood?
660
00:57:52,886 --> 00:57:55,514
- I was so proud.
- Weren't we all?
661
00:57:56,348 --> 00:57:58,601
Wednesday, play with your food.
662
00:58:06,566 --> 00:58:07,738
Mama.
663
00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:09,699
Who put this in here?
664
00:58:12,698 --> 00:58:15,247
- That's for company.
Rascals.
665
00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:19,038
Doctor, you were so right.
666
00:58:19,204 --> 00:58:21,957
- What an evening.
- Fester fit right in.
667
00:58:22,124 --> 00:58:25,424
- The displacement is over.
- Well, isn't that nice.
668
00:58:25,627 --> 00:58:29,177
- Does he really have to go?
- Yes, he does.
669
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:32,513
Well, if he insists upon leaving,
670
00:58:32,968 --> 00:58:35,187
we shall mark the occasion.
671
00:58:35,971 --> 00:58:37,143
Tish?
672
00:58:37,305 --> 00:58:41,902
- We've planned a farewell party.
- We've invited the entire clan.
673
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:44,400
What a lovely gesture.
674
00:58:44,646 --> 00:58:46,364
We're a family again
675
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,901
and we owe it all to you,
Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
676
00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:51,365
Please. Greta.
677
00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:52,912
Greta.
678
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:56,329
Fester, walk me out.
679
00:59:00,912 --> 00:59:04,667
I'm fine, Mother.
I'm completely in control.
680
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:07,177
They're not your family, Gordon. I am.
681
00:59:07,335 --> 00:59:09,087
They don't love you. I do.
682
00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:12,679
They're evil and corrupt and degraded.
683
00:59:12,841 --> 00:59:16,061
- I can give you that.
- I'm fine. Really.
684
00:59:16,428 --> 00:59:18,271
We'll see. Open up!
685
00:59:47,375 --> 00:59:48,672
A party?
686
00:59:49,503 --> 00:59:50,675
For me?
687
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,181
Here?
688
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:04,856
Tish, how long has it been
since we've waltzed?
689
01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:07,191
Oh, Gomez.
690
01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:13,072
Hours.
691
01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:21,890
It, old man!
692
01:01:24,431 --> 01:01:26,684
You're right. Far too long.
693
01:01:33,106 --> 01:01:35,950
- Don't let me out of your sight.
- Don't threaten me, Margaret.
694
01:01:36,109 --> 01:01:39,113
- These people are abnormal.
- Don't exaggerate.
695
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:48,459
Oh, by all means!
They're clients, Margaret.
696
01:01:56,004 --> 01:01:58,427
- Wednesday?
- Yes, Mother?
697
01:01:58,590 --> 01:02:02,094
Would you run upstairs
and check on your uncle, please?
698
01:02:03,261 --> 01:02:06,310
Why, Lumpy Addams. Look at you.
699
01:02:07,182 --> 01:02:08,650
All grown up.
700
01:02:21,071 --> 01:02:22,539
Uncle Fester?
701
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:27,535
- I understand.
- I hope so.
702
01:02:27,702 --> 01:02:28,999
And I'm counting on you.
703
01:02:29,162 --> 01:02:31,790
Don't let me down. Don't buckle.
704
01:02:31,957 --> 01:02:34,801
It's not gonna be easy.
There are people everywhere.
705
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:37,679
You can do it if you just stop whining.
706
01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:40,841
Nobody likes that. It's unattractive.
707
01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:45,513
All right. Fine.
I will try and reach the vault tonight.
708
01:02:45,971 --> 01:02:49,396
But if I can't, well, then that's it.
709
01:02:50,517 --> 01:02:51,985
Okay, Mother?
710
01:02:52,310 --> 01:02:55,029
I knew it. You are a fake.
711
01:02:55,313 --> 01:02:57,566
Come here, my little one.
712
01:02:57,732 --> 01:02:59,530
- Wednesday!
- Get her!
713
01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:48,250
Flora and Fauna Amor.
714
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:51,165
I cannot see.
715
01:03:51,536 --> 01:03:54,289
I am blinded by such beauty.
716
01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:55,548
Gomez Addams.
717
01:03:55,707 --> 01:03:57,425
- You terrible flirt.
- Always was.
718
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:58,756
- At least with me.
- Copycat!
719
01:03:58,918 --> 01:04:02,297
- Tag-along!
- Why, Gomez, the Amor twins.
720
01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:04,970
- I've heard so much about you.
- Morticia...
721
01:04:05,133 --> 01:04:06,851
- You nabbed him.
- This darling man.
722
01:04:07,010 --> 01:04:08,683
- He was mine!
- He was mine!
723
01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:11,223
Flora, Fauna, how can I compete?
724
01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:13,817
You're twice the woman I am.
725
01:04:14,142 --> 01:04:16,691
Tully, the Amor twins.
726
01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:19,694
They're waiting for Fester. Amuse them.
727
01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:24,699
- Hello, Tully.
- Oh, my God.
728
01:04:30,950 --> 01:04:33,954
You mean you don't know?
It's too intriguing.
729
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:37,499
Now that Fester's back,
he's king of the castle again, isn't he?
730
01:04:37,665 --> 01:04:40,088
Fester's the older brother,
so he gets it all.
731
01:04:40,251 --> 01:04:42,299
The house, the money, you name it.
732
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:44,339
Fester's still single, isn't he?
733
01:04:44,506 --> 01:04:47,180
- Are you, Mr. Alford?
- Why, Fauna.
734
01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:49,936
- I'm Fauna.
- I'm Flora.
735
01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:54,524
I'm flattered. Excuse me, ladies.
736
01:04:59,687 --> 01:05:02,941
I can't find her anywhere.
Let's just leave.
737
01:05:03,358 --> 01:05:05,531
- Out the back.
- Now pull yourself together.
738
01:05:05,693 --> 01:05:07,445
She'll turn up, the little cockroach.
739
01:05:07,612 --> 01:05:09,572
You get to the party
or they'll suspect something.
740
01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:11,954
- I'll be down soon.
- Yes, Mother.
741
01:05:19,207 --> 01:05:22,336
Everyone, your attention, please.
742
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:30,435
Tonight we dance
for our treasured guest of honor,
743
01:05:30,593 --> 01:05:32,095
Fester Addams.
744
01:05:34,681 --> 01:05:37,685
The mamushka!
745
01:05:39,352 --> 01:05:42,356
Taught to us by our Cossack cousins,
746
01:05:42,522 --> 01:05:45,446
the mamushka has been
an Addams' family tradition
747
01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:47,235
since God knows when.
748
01:05:47,402 --> 01:05:50,246
We danced the mamushka
while Nero fiddled.
749
01:05:50,405 --> 01:05:53,158
We danced the mamushka at Waterloo.
750
01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:57,546
We danced the mamushka
for Jack the Ripper.
751
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:01,048
And now, Fester Addams,
752
01:06:01,583 --> 01:06:05,713
this mamushka is for you.
753
01:06:27,609 --> 01:06:32,115
- Where are you going? There's trouble.
- Hey! Not to worry. Plan B.
754
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:34,783
- But that hideous little girl knows...
- I'm in charge.
755
01:06:34,949 --> 01:06:36,997
Ten minutes, I'll be back.
756
01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:35,218
Mamushka, mamushka
757
01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:36,853
He comes for his mamushka
758
01:07:37,011 --> 01:07:38,388
With a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey
759
01:07:38,555 --> 01:07:40,075
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey
760
01:07:40,223 --> 01:07:41,743
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey
761
01:07:41,808 --> 01:07:43,688
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey and a...
762
01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:46,233
Wait!
763
01:07:48,356 --> 01:07:52,361
I swear by Mummy
764
01:07:52,527 --> 01:07:54,655
And Daddums
765
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:57,998
This detestable Fester's
766
01:07:58,157 --> 01:08:01,661
The echt Fester Addams
767
01:08:03,329 --> 01:08:07,050
So hey, hey, hey, he)!
Hey, hey, hey, hey
768
01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:11,008
Let's dance the dance of brotherly love!
769
01:08:11,170 --> 01:08:12,547
Mamushka!
770
01:08:16,217 --> 01:08:18,686
What the hell's going on over there?
771
01:08:18,845 --> 01:08:22,270
How would you like to be rid
of the Addamses for good?
772
01:08:23,224 --> 01:08:26,569
- I'm serious.
- What can I do for you?
773
01:08:28,730 --> 01:08:31,449
You are gonna love this.
774
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,489
We've been married
for almost 20 years.
775
01:08:39,073 --> 01:08:41,292
Sometimes it seems like more.
776
01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:47,920
Well, people grow. People change.
777
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:00,888
Isn't it a beautiful night?
778
01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:08,319
You'll come see me before you leave,
won't you, Fester?
779
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:10,276
I'll call once I'm alone.
780
01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:12,532
There's your ride, girls.
781
01:09:24,494 --> 01:09:28,419
You're a marvelous dancer.
It's been such fun.
782
01:09:31,584 --> 01:09:34,303
I can't. We mustn't.
783
01:09:40,927 --> 01:09:41,974
Call me!
784
01:09:42,136 --> 01:09:44,138
Mamushka, mamushka
785
01:09:44,305 --> 01:09:46,649
I swallowed with one whoosh-ka!
786
01:09:46,808 --> 01:09:48,185
And a hey and a hey
787
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,524
And a hey and a hey and a hey
788
01:09:51,145 --> 01:09:52,613
Hey, hey!
789
01:09:53,648 --> 01:09:56,822
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
790
01:09:56,984 --> 01:09:57,985
Gordon.
791
01:09:58,152 --> 01:09:59,153
Hey. Hey, hey
792
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:00,321
Gordon, Gordon, stop it.
793
01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:01,489
Gordon, no.
794
01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:02,657
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
795
01:10:02,824 --> 01:10:03,825
Stop it, Gordon. Stop it!
796
01:10:03,991 --> 01:10:05,664
Stop it, this instant.
797
01:10:06,452 --> 01:10:09,672
- Is that lipstick all over your face?
- From the twins.
798
01:10:09,831 --> 01:10:12,584
The beauteous Amor twins.
799
01:10:12,750 --> 01:10:14,093
The twins?
800
01:10:14,252 --> 01:10:17,005
Gordon, I don't understand this.
Let me get this clear.
801
01:10:17,171 --> 01:10:21,142
- Have you been having a good time?
- Yes! I have!
802
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:22,927
It was marvelous.
803
01:10:23,094 --> 01:10:26,940
I sang up a storm
and danced till I dropped!
804
01:10:27,181 --> 01:10:30,685
The mamushka! The mamushka!
805
01:10:30,852 --> 01:10:35,483
And a hey and a hey
and a hey and a hey and a hey
806
01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:40,570
- Mother?
- Mother? Mother? Who is that?
807
01:10:40,737 --> 01:10:43,786
- I don't think I recall.
- Mother, please.
808
01:10:43,948 --> 01:10:46,417
I'm just fine. I'm dandy.
809
01:10:46,826 --> 01:10:49,329
Don't concern yourself
about me, Gordon.
810
01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:52,624
Please, return to your depraved orgy.
811
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:56,093
Sometimes I think
you're not even my son.
812
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:59,256
- Don't say that.
- I'm just your mother.
813
01:10:59,422 --> 01:11:02,972
You only owe me
your entire existence on this planet.
814
01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:06,805
Please, Gordon, by all means,
go sing, dance, date.
815
01:11:06,971 --> 01:11:10,316
Oh, Mother, I'm so terribly sorry.
816
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:16,652
It was just a party. It's over.
817
01:11:17,565 --> 01:11:19,192
It means nothing.
818
01:11:19,692 --> 01:11:23,037
The Siamese twins, the hunchback,
Cousin It,
819
01:11:23,654 --> 01:11:25,156
they're not you.
820
01:11:25,323 --> 01:11:27,826
Say it, Gordon. Make me believe it.
821
01:11:28,326 --> 01:11:31,671
I love you. And I want money.
822
01:11:32,330 --> 01:11:34,253
We've got to find Tully.
823
01:11:39,170 --> 01:11:41,719
Look, our little boy.
824
01:11:42,173 --> 01:11:43,675
All tuckered out.
825
01:11:43,841 --> 01:11:47,846
It's so sweet.
He looks just like a little entrée.
826
01:11:49,388 --> 01:11:52,517
- Where's the party?
- It's over, darling.
827
01:11:53,226 --> 01:11:57,026
- Have you seen your sister?
- Not since before the mamushka.
828
01:11:57,814 --> 01:11:58,986
Gomez.
829
01:11:59,649 --> 01:12:02,402
Fan out.
Pugsley, head for the dung heap.
830
01:12:02,568 --> 01:12:05,162
Mama and Morticia, the shallow graves.
I'll take the abyss.
831
01:12:05,321 --> 01:12:07,665
Lurch, check out the bottomless pit.
832
01:12:07,824 --> 01:12:09,417
- Fester?
- Up here!
833
01:12:09,992 --> 01:12:14,623
Fester, you take the ravine
and the unmarked abandoned well.
834
01:12:14,789 --> 01:12:18,760
Someone should stay behind
in case she comes back.
835
01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:21,087
Good man. Good thinking!
836
01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:23,382
Then who'll take the swamp?
837
01:12:26,717 --> 01:12:30,062
That's the spirit, Thing. Lend a hand.
Let's go!
838
01:12:37,395 --> 01:12:38,567
Gordon!
839
01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:41,027
Don't dawdle.
840
01:12:52,577 --> 01:12:55,376
- What are you doing?
- I'm relaxing.
841
01:12:56,497 --> 01:12:59,797
- Taking a little sun.
- Have you gone mad?
842
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:11,262
Wednesday!
843
01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:16,021
Wednesday!
844
01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:19,979
Wednesday!
845
01:13:21,022 --> 01:13:22,774
Wednesday!
846
01:14:00,186 --> 01:14:03,360
- What is all this?
- This is a restraining order.
847
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:05,195
- A restraining order?
- Yes.
848
01:14:05,358 --> 01:14:09,329
It requires you
to keep a distance of 1,000 yards
849
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:10,488
from this house.
850
01:14:10,655 --> 01:14:12,874
I am restrained from my own house?
851
01:14:13,032 --> 01:14:15,660
Not your house, mustache.
Not anymore.
852
01:14:15,826 --> 01:14:18,329
It belongs to
the oldest living descendant,
853
01:14:18,496 --> 01:14:21,716
the elder brother, Fester Addams.
854
01:14:21,874 --> 01:14:25,003
- Fester adores Gomez.
- No, no, he's afraid of him.
855
01:14:25,169 --> 01:14:28,639
Seeing the twins brought it all back.
You're bitter rivals, Gomez.
856
01:14:28,798 --> 01:14:32,052
- I demand to speak with Fester.
- Sorry. No can do.
857
01:14:32,677 --> 01:14:35,146
He's very hurt. Just leave.
858
01:14:37,723 --> 01:14:40,021
But he isn't even Uncle Fester.
859
01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:46,695
Have no fear. Justice shall prevail.
860
01:14:47,233 --> 01:14:49,156
The courts will decide.
861
01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:53,498
They say a man who represents himself
has a fool for a client.
862
01:14:53,656 --> 01:14:56,000
Well, with God as my witness,
863
01:14:56,158 --> 01:14:58,206
I am that fool!
864
01:14:58,995 --> 01:15:03,171
Therefore, it is with no small amount
of personal satisfaction
865
01:15:03,749 --> 01:15:08,255
that I declare Fester Addams
legal executor of the Addams estate
866
01:15:08,504 --> 01:15:11,633
and rightful owner of all possessions
867
01:15:11,799 --> 01:15:15,849
and properties contained therein,
with one exception.
868
01:15:16,012 --> 01:15:17,810
Gomez Addams,
869
01:15:18,347 --> 01:15:22,227
I believe these are yours.
870
01:17:01,242 --> 01:17:04,587
- You are doing this on purpose.
- That's right, Mother. Isn't this fun?
871
01:17:04,745 --> 01:17:06,497
I'll race you back.
872
01:17:08,499 --> 01:17:11,093
Yes, we've been forced from our home.
873
01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:14,839
Yes, we've been betrayed
by those we trusted,
874
01:17:15,297 --> 01:17:18,722
but we are Addamses,
and we will not submit.
875
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:23,640
Who recalls the fable
of The Tortoise and the Hare?
876
01:17:24,014 --> 01:17:27,234
The swift yet lazy little cottontail
877
01:17:27,393 --> 01:17:30,021
and his slow
but determined companion?
878
01:17:30,688 --> 01:17:32,315
What does this story teach us?
879
01:17:32,481 --> 01:17:35,280
Kill the hare! Skin it. Boil it.
880
01:17:35,442 --> 01:17:38,195
- Put the tortoise on the highway.
- During rush hour.
881
01:17:38,362 --> 01:17:41,286
Yes. We will survive.
882
01:17:41,991 --> 01:17:45,666
Poison us. Strangle us.
Break our bones.
883
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:47,922
We will come back for more.
884
01:17:48,706 --> 01:17:50,083
And why?
885
01:17:50,249 --> 01:17:53,674
- Because we like it.
- Because we're Addamses.
886
01:17:53,836 --> 01:17:55,383
We're Addamses.
887
01:18:03,262 --> 01:18:05,310
Here, Lurch. On the house.
888
01:18:23,032 --> 01:18:26,502
We have so many homemakers
re-entering the workforce.
889
01:18:26,660 --> 01:18:29,504
Your domestic skills
can be very valuable.
890
01:18:29,663 --> 01:18:32,337
- College?
- Private tutors.
891
01:18:33,334 --> 01:18:35,507
- Major?
- Spells and hexes.
892
01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:38,172
Liberal Arts.
893
01:18:38,964 --> 01:18:42,343
What about your husband?
Is he currently employed?
894
01:18:43,594 --> 01:18:46,313
He's going through a bad patch
at the moment,
895
01:18:46,472 --> 01:18:47,974
but it's not his fault.
896
01:18:48,140 --> 01:18:49,642
Of course not.
897
01:18:50,809 --> 01:18:53,358
What is he, a loafer?
A hopeless layabout?
898
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:55,318
A shiftless dreamer?
899
01:18:57,483 --> 01:18:58,951
Not anymore.
900
01:19:04,823 --> 01:19:07,667
- Is this made from real lemons?
- Yes.
901
01:19:07,993 --> 01:19:10,667
I only like all-natural
fruits and beverages
902
01:19:10,829 --> 01:19:13,628
organically grown with no preservatives.
903
01:19:13,958 --> 01:19:17,007
- Are you sure they're real lemons?
- Yes.
904
01:19:17,461 --> 01:19:19,509
Well, I'll tell you what.
905
01:19:19,672 --> 01:19:20,798
I'll buy a cup
906
01:19:20,965 --> 01:19:23,969
if you buy a box
of my delicious Girl Scout cookies.
907
01:19:24,134 --> 01:19:25,556
Do we have a deal?
908
01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:28,268
Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
909
01:19:40,526 --> 01:19:42,949
And so,
the witch lured Hansel and Gretel
910
01:19:43,112 --> 01:19:46,742
into the candy house
by promising them more sweets.
911
01:19:46,991 --> 01:19:49,289
And she told them to look in the oven.
912
01:19:49,451 --> 01:19:53,172
And she was about to push them in
when, lo and behold,
913
01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:56,634
Hansel pushed the poor,
defenseless witch
914
01:19:56,792 --> 01:20:00,513
into the oven instead,
where she was burned alive,
915
01:20:00,671 --> 01:20:02,344
writhing in agony.
916
01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:09,852
Now, boys and girls,
what do you think that feels like?
917
01:21:03,776 --> 01:21:05,449
Welcome to the show.
918
01:21:05,611 --> 01:21:07,284
Voodoo witch doctors
here in the United States.
919
01:21:07,446 --> 01:21:08,447
Here, kitty, kitty.
920
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:12,994
Do they really exist
or is this just tabloid hooey?
921
01:21:13,160 --> 01:21:15,254
We'd love you to call in
with your comments.
922
01:21:17,998 --> 01:21:20,251
After lunch, we'll try again.
923
01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:23,174
Yes, Mother.
924
01:21:26,965 --> 01:21:28,967
We'll find the money.
925
01:21:29,760 --> 01:21:32,934
Meanwhile, we have this little nest,
quiet and cozy
926
01:21:33,097 --> 01:21:35,566
without that dreadful family.
927
01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:38,397
Yes, Mother.
928
01:21:39,061 --> 01:21:41,905
So, you claim that your son
was brainwashed
929
01:21:42,064 --> 01:21:45,910
by voodoo witch doctors
and forced to recruit others.
930
01:21:46,485 --> 01:21:47,577
Let's take a call.
931
01:21:47,736 --> 01:21:49,158
Hello, Sally.
932
01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,915
Mr. Addams, please stop calling.
933
01:21:52,408 --> 01:21:54,251
We do not know where they meet.
934
01:21:54,410 --> 01:21:56,412
Let's take another call.
935
01:21:58,080 --> 01:22:00,833
Gomez, why don't we go for a drive?
936
01:22:01,333 --> 01:22:03,427
- The whole family.
- A drive?
937
01:22:04,420 --> 01:22:07,469
- And miss Gilligan?
- Dinner's gonna be late.
938
01:22:08,257 --> 01:22:10,259
Here, boy. Here, boy.
939
01:22:18,517 --> 01:22:19,734
Gordon.
940
01:22:20,894 --> 01:22:22,146
Gordon!
941
01:23:29,463 --> 01:23:32,262
I would like to
speak with Fester, please.
942
01:23:41,099 --> 01:23:45,149
You're a desperate woman
consumed by greed and bitterness.
943
01:23:45,812 --> 01:23:48,986
- We could have been such friends.
- Gordon, let's get started.
944
01:23:49,149 --> 01:23:50,651
- But, Mother...
- Stop stalling.
945
01:23:50,817 --> 01:23:53,616
I'm not stalling. Stop badgering me.
946
01:23:55,989 --> 01:23:59,835
- The vault, Mrs. Addams, any thoughts?
- None whatsoever.
947
01:23:59,993 --> 01:24:02,121
Tully, take over. Tighten it.
948
01:24:02,287 --> 01:24:04,005
But I got this stomach thing
when I torture people.
949
01:24:04,164 --> 01:24:05,336
Do it.
950
01:24:08,794 --> 01:24:09,966
Again.
951
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,063
Tighter.
952
01:24:24,226 --> 01:24:26,228
You've done this before.
953
01:25:13,609 --> 01:25:16,738
Who is it?
We're paid through Thursday.
954
01:25:17,863 --> 01:25:19,581
Morticia.
955
01:25:20,032 --> 01:25:23,252
Morticia. Morticia what?
956
01:25:23,994 --> 01:25:27,043
Slow down!
It's terrible when you stutter.
957
01:25:40,385 --> 01:25:44,640
Morticia in danger.
958
01:25:45,223 --> 01:25:46,395
Stop.
959
01:25:46,558 --> 01:25:50,654
Send help at once. Stop!
960
01:25:53,315 --> 01:25:55,989
You can't! Not with red-hot pokers!
961
01:25:56,902 --> 01:25:59,530
- Is this gonna smell?
- Tully Alford,
962
01:25:59,696 --> 01:26:03,075
charlatan, deadbeat, parasite.
963
01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:06,161
How Gomez adored you.
964
01:26:06,328 --> 01:26:08,672
Well, not enough.
965
01:26:09,623 --> 01:26:12,752
Morticia, please.
966
01:26:12,918 --> 01:26:16,639
And dear Fester, which is the real you?
967
01:26:17,422 --> 01:26:20,517
The loathsome,
underhanded monster you've become
968
01:26:20,967 --> 01:26:24,437
or the loathsome, underhanded monster
we came to love?
969
01:26:24,638 --> 01:26:25,855
Don't ask me.
970
01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:45,876
I know what you're feeling, Fester.
971
01:26:46,034 --> 01:26:47,286
Gordon!
972
01:26:48,537 --> 01:26:51,962
Gordon, I have a thought.
Just a notion, top of my head.
973
01:26:52,124 --> 01:26:53,967
Tell me what you think?
974
01:26:54,126 --> 01:26:57,630
Since you and Mrs. Addams
are so very close,
975
01:26:59,339 --> 01:27:00,966
be my guest.
976
01:27:03,677 --> 01:27:04,974
Addams!
977
01:27:07,305 --> 01:27:09,182
Darling, take care.
978
01:27:10,100 --> 01:27:12,944
Dirty pool, old man. Never again!
979
01:27:24,114 --> 01:27:25,787
One for you, Tully.
980
01:27:26,700 --> 01:27:28,043
And now...
981
01:27:38,086 --> 01:27:39,429
One for me.
982
01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:42,341
- Gomez, I'm on retainer.
- Let him up.
983
01:27:52,392 --> 01:27:55,236
That's right. Now get moving, Addams.
984
01:27:58,732 --> 01:28:00,609
Take him to the vault,
985
01:28:01,443 --> 01:28:03,992
and if you're not back in one hour,
986
01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:06,657
I displace her.
987
01:28:11,244 --> 01:28:14,123
Tish, seeing you like this,
988
01:28:14,289 --> 01:28:15,791
my blood boils.
989
01:28:15,957 --> 01:28:17,459
As does mine.
990
01:28:18,460 --> 01:28:21,464
- This wheel of pain.
- Our wheel.
991
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:24,804
To live without you,
only that would be torture.
992
01:28:25,383 --> 01:28:28,887
A day alone, only that would be death.
993
01:28:31,223 --> 01:28:32,645
Knock it off.
994
01:28:34,476 --> 01:28:36,649
The vault, Addams, right now.
995
01:28:46,613 --> 01:28:49,412
- But, Mother, can't we...
- Can it, Gordon.
996
01:28:49,574 --> 01:28:52,919
Stop dragging your feet.
You disgust me!
997
01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:56,043
You're nothing
but a useless, sniveling baby.
998
01:28:56,206 --> 01:28:58,129
A stone around my neck.
999
01:28:58,458 --> 01:29:00,381
What was I thinking?
1000
01:29:00,544 --> 01:29:02,296
I should have left you
where I found you.
1001
01:29:03,588 --> 01:29:06,091
No tricks, Gomez!
1002
01:29:07,050 --> 01:29:09,052
That's the wrong book.
1003
01:29:18,311 --> 01:29:19,733
Allow me.
1004
01:29:22,524 --> 01:29:24,242
Good show, old man.
1005
01:29:26,987 --> 01:29:30,662
Put that book down, Gordon.
You don't know what it can do.
1006
01:29:31,491 --> 01:29:34,870
- It's not just literature.
- Oh, really?
1007
01:29:36,872 --> 01:29:37,964
Quickly, darling.
1008
01:29:38,123 --> 01:29:40,125
Gordon, I'm your friend.
1009
01:29:40,542 --> 01:29:44,467
- Think of the doubloons.
- They're not yours, Tully.
1010
01:29:45,130 --> 01:29:46,131
Back off!
1011
01:29:46,298 --> 01:29:49,222
Leather straps. Red-hot pokers.
1012
01:29:49,843 --> 01:29:51,220
Later, my dearest.
1013
01:29:51,386 --> 01:29:54,230
Keep the book closed, Gordon.
Listen to Mother.
1014
01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:58,189
I'll never listen to you,
never ever again.
1015
01:29:58,351 --> 01:30:01,651
I had to be strict with you
because I cared. Put it down!
1016
01:30:01,813 --> 01:30:04,157
You never really loved me.
1017
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:05,658
Fester, this way!
1018
01:30:05,817 --> 01:30:07,457
Stop whining,
you little good-for-nothing.
1019
01:30:07,485 --> 01:30:08,907
Be a man!
1020
01:30:09,404 --> 01:30:12,499
You were a terrible mother!
1021
01:30:13,074 --> 01:30:15,327
There! I said it.
1022
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,130
Are they dead?
1023
01:31:08,505 --> 01:31:10,132
Does it matter?
1024
01:31:28,108 --> 01:31:29,826
Trick or...
1025
01:31:34,656 --> 01:31:36,124
Here we come!
1026
01:31:36,825 --> 01:31:39,374
- Pugsley, old man.
- Why, look at you.
1027
01:31:43,915 --> 01:31:45,337
How do you like it?
1028
01:31:47,127 --> 01:31:50,176
What can I say?
He's gonna break hearts.
1029
01:31:50,338 --> 01:31:51,931
Trick or treat.
1030
01:31:54,259 --> 01:31:56,512
Hello, Margaret. Cousin It.
1031
01:31:56,678 --> 01:31:59,978
- I almost didn't recognize you.
- Isn't he handsome?
1032
01:32:00,432 --> 01:32:03,561
Everyone keeps asking
where he bought his costume.
1033
01:32:03,727 --> 01:32:05,320
It is a wonderful hat.
1034
01:32:06,521 --> 01:32:09,491
What are you, darling?
Where's your costume?
1035
01:32:09,649 --> 01:32:12,152
This is my costume.
I'm a homicidal maniac.
1036
01:32:12,318 --> 01:32:14,696
They look just like everyone else.
1037
01:32:19,242 --> 01:32:22,621
I'm so glad
I can spend this night with my family,
1038
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:24,664
now that I've got my memory back.
1039
01:32:24,831 --> 01:32:29,007
Thank God for that lightning.
Knocked some sense into you.
1040
01:32:32,130 --> 01:32:33,677
You remember, old man.
1041
01:32:33,840 --> 01:32:36,093
Dr. Pinder-Schloss
really did find Fester
1042
01:32:36,259 --> 01:32:38,933
tangled in a tuna net 25 years ago,
1043
01:32:39,471 --> 01:32:40,939
with amnesia.
1044
01:32:41,097 --> 01:32:43,145
From the Bermuda Triangle.
1045
01:32:46,519 --> 01:32:49,363
How true.
Stranger things have happened.
1046
01:32:49,522 --> 01:32:51,320
Please, Uncle Fester.
1047
01:32:52,150 --> 01:32:54,494
- Pugsley.
- For the picture.
1048
01:33:01,618 --> 01:33:04,963
All right, everybody, time for a game.
1049
01:33:05,288 --> 01:33:08,132
What shall it be? Bobbing for apples?
1050
01:33:08,291 --> 01:33:09,417
Charades?
1051
01:33:10,752 --> 01:33:13,221
Of course. Wake the dead.
1052
01:33:13,379 --> 01:33:16,758
- Wake the dead!
- Wake the dead!
1053
01:33:17,342 --> 01:33:19,219
Out to the cemetery!
Come on, everyone.
1054
01:33:19,385 --> 01:33:21,262
I've never played this before.
1055
01:33:21,429 --> 01:33:23,523
- How does it go?
- Did you bring a shovel?
1056
01:33:23,681 --> 01:33:26,605
- Uncle Fester, will you be on my team?
- No, mine.
1057
01:33:26,768 --> 01:33:28,528
I tell you what.
We'll give you a head start.
1058
01:33:28,603 --> 01:33:31,231
Three skulls and a pelvis. How is that?
1059
01:33:34,317 --> 01:33:37,070
My own dear brother.
1060
01:33:46,579 --> 01:33:48,923
- Come on.
- We'll catch up.
1061
01:33:52,627 --> 01:33:55,255
Wake the dead! Wake the dead!
1062
01:33:56,589 --> 01:33:58,466
Uncle Atlas, wake up.
1063
01:34:00,051 --> 01:34:03,430
- Come on, Aunt LaBorgia, wake up.
- No, no, no, children.
1064
01:34:03,596 --> 01:34:06,941
You have to dig. That's half the fun.
1065
01:34:18,444 --> 01:34:20,788
Oh, Tish, what more could we ask?
1066
01:34:23,366 --> 01:34:24,743
Gomez.
1067
01:34:30,790 --> 01:34:33,964
Cara mia, is it true?
1068
01:34:34,627 --> 01:34:35,719
Oui.
1069
01:34:36,296 --> 01:34:37,593
Mon amour.
1070
01:34:48,808 --> 01:34:51,106
Wake up, Grandpa Addams.
It's Halloween.
1071
01:34:51,269 --> 01:34:53,738
Children, look! Great-Aunt Lavinia!
1072
01:34:53,897 --> 01:34:56,446
She was beheaded by her own children!
1073
01:34:56,608 --> 01:34:57,985
- Yay!
- Yay!
75943
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