Original subtitles

(CELL PHONE VIBRATION) (Ringtone) Love, where are you?

Love, where are you? Love, where are you?

Love, where are you? Love, where are you? Love, where are you?

(Voicemail) You have two new ones messages.

(Mickey) It's my birthday! We've been waiting for you for two hours!

It's the last time that you go out with your friends!

I hope you have a good reason for this delay!

Oh, fuck!

Oh shit !

If he goes away, be slow.

There are children.

- I'm in a space mess! - (Man) Did you fuck her? Great!

- Fuck! Now what do I tell him?

Come on, stop it!

I know an agency.

I'll kill him.

I swear on my mother's head I'll kill him!

- Sorry, mom. - It's okay, love, but calm down.

I don't calm down! I cut off his balls so he becomes like dad!

- Sorry, dad. - It's okay, darling.

(DOORBELL)

Miss, good morning. Her boyfriend is a hero.

Oh, my God, what happened?

She saved Timmy, a blind child's dog.

It cost him a broken phone and a night in hospital,

but she can be proud of him.

My love, forgive me, please! I doubted you!

We need more men like him. I greet you, goodbye.

- Hello, hero. - My little one!

My sweet love, sorry.

we sell alibis.

Our motto is: "Better one nice lie What an ugly truth."

It's fantastic! Protect infidelity It's the job I've always dreamed of.

Then go somewhere else.

I have always despised betrayals, but people keep making them.

When I was five years old my mother discovered my father with an alt

She left him and fell in depression.

30 years have passed and she still hasn't recovered.

If my father had an alibi, how much pain we would have saved ourselves

Prince"

"They lived happily ever after happy."

And full of horns.

They don't write here that the Prince goes away like a whore,

who fucks his friends princess, the intern and also the babysitter.

how many people are cheating on themselves?

- No. - No.

Look at the display.

- (Paolo) At 11 in the morning? - (Fred) At 11 in the morning.

Imagine that in May during lunch break it reaches 4 million.

You know what it means if they come discovered?

That's 4 million partners who shout to each other: "I'm leaving you!"

Six million children wandering from one apartment to another,

they will never find again the mathematics notebook.

Let's avoid victims the useless pain of the truth.

This human and social aspect It motivates me even more.

Alright, let's get to us.

Diego is a magician with the computer, but in action it stalls a bit.

I need a front-man, someone like me.

- You have to know how to act. - I was an actor for a year.

- Lying believably. - Two years in politics.

Pretending to be authoritative, even if you don't know a thing.

Three years the journalist.

He's not real, he's a liar.

Well, sorry, that's not what are you looking for?

Ok, a week's trial.

You will say that you work for an agency of travel.

- I won't let you down, boss. - Well.

Our main service

It's "turnkey sure betrayal hand with First Aid guarantee".

(MOBILE PHONE) Would be ?

Yes, ready?

- Diego, Hotel Majestic. Elevator, now! - Okay.

Here's one.

I enter the circuit of video surveillance.

Here's the elevator camera, I'll pass it on to you.

I'm stuck in the elevator with my lover, the firefighters are opening the door.

Everything is fine ? Can you hear me?

The team leader is mine Husband.

Stay calm, we'll set you free.

Be careful and do exactly what I tell you

Come on, guys, with the crowbar.

One, two...

(THEY SPEAK IN ARABIC)

Look down, you don't look in the eyes of an emir's wife.

Crazy stuff, guys!

We almost had an accident diplomatic.

Fred, that's wonderful.

How did you know who would have reacted like this?

The lady's husband is a graduate in Anthropology with 110 cum laude.

Theses on ceremonials of the Islamic monarchy,

but he couldn't find work and joined the fire department.

Fred knew it because I work my butt off,

I profile everyone, I record everything.

It takes patience.

Put the wax on and take the wax off, put the wax on and take the wax off.

All right.

Behind a great man there's always a big nerd.

(DOOR OPENING)

Gentlemen, I'm in a hurry, I'm going to take a shower.

About you Honorable, here's yours Shirt and shampoo.

Fantastic.

What is he doing?

9% of betrayals it is discovered for shampooing.

You wash yourself from your lover, the partner smells different,

investigate and you're screwed.

There are betrayals the core business of the company,

but we also do much more.

For example, there are those who hide of forbidden passions.

How? Aren't you going back to boarding school?

Divine.

Unfortunately I can't, the Council summoned me.

Is it about your appointment as cardinal?

Pray for me, brothers.

Dear, good luck!

How much hope you give me!

- Are you ready, Monsignor? - Let's go.

(INDISTINCT VOICES)

(STADIUM CHORTS)

The stole.

(Man) The Monsignor!

Magical Rome!

Hi, mommy, the landscape here is beautiful.

We take long walks, I even saw a marmot.

But I miss you so much, I can't wait to see you again.

HI.

- How was it? - (Fred) Excellent.

Thanks, Fred.

I'm running away now.

- (Fred) Have a nice trip. - HI !

(Paolo) Hello.

To many in life to live well we need a secret garden and we...

You are those who keep the gate closed.

Well done, Paolo, you're awake.

It makes you wonder why I wake gets fired every 3-5 months.

You checked wrong.

I'm the one who quits, because I hate routine.

That's why I care about this place, because here you never get bored.

Ok, try front-man.

Go in my place and interview Diego.

Perfect, thanks for the coffee.

So, I analyzed your psycho-aptitude test.

- (Paolo) I have to say... - Bastards!

Eight years of horns for guilt yours!

Now you pay me.

- Are you crazy? - Who's the boss?

Him.

I'll blow your head off, kneel down.

(Clara) I said, "Kneel down."

I told you: "On your knees."

- Come on, guys, it's a test. - But what a test!

Diego let himself slip away of microexpressions of satisfaction

Despite this tender jealousy due to evident fragility,

I don't think he wants me dead.

So it's a test.

Good.

Well done, Paolo, congratulations, front-man test passed.

(Fred) Welcome aboard, well done.

This is Clara, ours collaborator.

- Pleasure. - The pleasure is all mine.

The proxemics of your bodies reveals a certain intimacy.

(Paul) Great, Fred, you are a beautiful couple.

(Clara) Sorry.

Damn you!

Clara, wait! Don't cry again!

Congratulations, wise guy, she left her and she quit.

Today is her last day Work.

Because you think you were called ?

(ALARM)

(Diego) The Monsignor it was filmed live at the stadiums

and they saw it at the Vatican.

A reset is needed here.

How does a Reset work?

(Diego) When you discover the truth let's delete everything.

- (Diego) So I wake up a sleeper. - (Paolo) Would it be?

Calm down, you want to be a butterfly, but you're still a creep.

- It's called a caterpillar. - I knew worm.

(Monsignor) "Sed formam possum terrantes."

Appearances can be deceiving, it wasn't me.

Wasn't she at the stadium?

No, in fact I would like to show them some photos, but they are strong images.

Who is this?

Sandro Petazza known as Er Pantegana.

It hurts a lot to be traded

for an individual nicknamed Er Pantegana.

You will understand me.

Anyway, I thank the Lord for this difficult test of humility.

Monsignor, forgive us, we owe her an apology.

Alleluia.

Why did you leave Clara?

She was a good girl and a loyal colleague.

She wasn't a little professor to act cool.

I wasn't in love.

Of course, with the excuse of trauma childish you never fall in love.

It's not an excuse, I can't do it.

You speak! I've been with you for ten years I know, I've never seen you with a girl.

What does it have to do with it? I don't throw myself away, I'm waiting for the right girl.

Can you stop for a moment? Fred, I need to talk to you.

I don't want you to tell him about it my business, that is false and unfair.

Diego, neither false nor disloyal.

It's just new and you hate news.

Relax.

(BARKS)

Do you know what I hate? This.

How do you abandon a puppy like that?

Darling, did they leave you here?

(Fred) I'll take you away with me, you I'm free.

Come, darling...

(Fred) Wait!

(CRASH) Fuck!

(YEELS)

(Clio) Fred?

Fred? Darling?

Here I am, sorry if I made you... (GASP)

(Clio) What did they do to you, Fred?

What if he dies? And if he stays paralyzed?

Why did I tie him up badly? Why' ?

You have nothing to do with it.

There are perfect knots that dissolve on their own.

I'm not saying it, there is a scientific study.

- Really ? - Yes'.

Look who's here!

- HI ! - Everything's fine, don't worry.

- You can go home. - Thank you.

Hi love !

Handsome ! (BARKS)

Thank you, really, for accompanying me.

- I'm Clio. - Nice to meet you, Fred.

- Clio? - Yes'.

How do you feel about having a car name, Clio?

And how do you feel about having a dog's name, Fred?

Fred, say hello to Fred.

(GROWLS) HI.

How did I come up with this bullshit?

- Director, there is a customer. - Please, have a seat.

(Alberto) Thank you.

(Fred) How can I help you, sir?

No, it's not for me, It's for a friend of mine, Giancarlo.

On the first escapade he caused a lot of trouble.

Okay, tell me everything, Giancarlo.

I had already organised the weekend with the lover,

but it's my anniversary marriage.

I don't know what to do.

Tell your lover the truth.

I can't, I told her I was widower.

The first dogma of Alibi says: "Never lie to both of us."

If you lie to just one, there is 27% of possibility of being discovered.

If you lie to both of us, we move on to 54.

How he marked the name of his lover on the phone?

(SMUTTERS)

I didn't understand, sorry.

Chip.

Is he crazy? Why do you do it alone?

37% of betrayals they are discovered just like that.

She was already at 54, this way she jumps to 91.

He's a goner.

-You take the phone and change right away. - Yes, certainly.

So, write.

Name: "Number".

Surname: "Unknown".

So when the lover calls, "Unknown Number" appears.

But she's a genius.

I'm simply a professional.

(Fred) What work do you do?

I am a biomechanical engineer.

As a cover I could propose a conference in Rovigo,

the foggiest area in Italy.

Nobody thinks: "He's going to transgress in Rovigo."

Of course, we will send them home the brochure, the invitations, the diploma.

We post photos with i on social media colleagues

and we will give to his wife the hotel number.

If he calls, we'll answer us:

"Ma'am, the doctor is at conference, I'll have you call me back later."

But it's wonderful! How much does it cost ?

No, wait a minute, I need to understand the case better first.

How did he meet his lover?

It was a normal boring day.

I was going to the accountant, imagine.

(Alberto) Piermaria, I told you.

There's a warning on the front page on the "Sole 24 ore".

The Board of Directors can't do anything...

Oh God, sorry!

- What the hell! You want to stay careful ? - Excuse me ! Piermaria, I'll call you back.

No, please don't cry.

It works, you can see it.

I don't cry about it.

I am a singer.

I had an audition and I didn't...

I can't take it anymore!

The record companies ignore me, the talents don't want me.

Yet my lyrics are the bomb,

uncomfortable stuff, stuff that disturbs you inside.

But I know why, yes.

It's because I don't give it. No!

I understand, I'm sorry.

I'll show you, look.

Is your name Viva Cinzia?

No, it's "Double-u" Cinzia, like Baby K's kappa.

- W Cinzia ! Yo ! - Right.

(MUSICA)

In Cinzia!

Sanremo

newspapers

horrendous

stop

Yes, make peace with the skull, understand?

I don't know much about rap,

but you are beautiful, you are young,

you will have time to do anything you want.

You will see that in the end you will succeed.

- Are you serious? - Certain.

Thank you !

Oh, my God! You're the first to me he says it.

Today was just that that I needed.

Me too.

From that moment I can't do without her anymore.

(Fred) Now the case is more to me clear.

Look, my colleague He'll give you a complete dossier.

Giancarlo, be honest because it's important.

Of course, absolutely.

Thank you, thank you for everything.

Yay!

Yes' ! Strike!

I dedicate it to you, Fred.

- Strange place to invite me to dinner. - Why' ?

Did you think I wanted to try?

Of course, I read it on Facebook that you are busy.

Actually, my love status it's strategic.

This way I avoid anyone asking me friendship end up trying.

Don't let it go to your head, I don't want to try.

- Oh, no? - No.

I just wanted to know how Fred was doing, because I'm kind.

Be kind, hold it for me.

(FRED GROWLS)

Yes' !

Not bad, not bad.

What do you do in life besides playing bowling and peeing in the woods?

I am a jurist, I believe in right.

I deeply hate scammers, the fraudsters

and liars of any kind.

- What do you do? - I have a travel agency.

I always beat the agents of voyage.

- Oh, yes? - Yes'.

- Shall we bet? - Anything ?

- Anything. - Gone.

There's no point in pulling, you already have won.

- You are a true alpha male. - No, that doesn't apply.

It's the last shot, Either you turn around or bet is void.

Sissy!

Sissy to me?

(Clio) It's not possible! You struck!

(GROWLS)

You won.

Handsome ! He's recovered great Fred!

Let's go.

(IMATES THE SOUNDS OF THE DEER)

(Fred) From today I'll call you Bambi.

Fuck you!

It's not my fault if you're bad at bowling.

I hope you are in other games stronger

because as an opponent you are truly disappointing.

- Standing. - What is it?

Whoever laughs first gets one slap.

Okay.

I won, one by one.

Goodbye, Fred!

Shall we go to you?

I didn't expect it.

I didn't expect it either.

Now we have to meet again.

Well, second round guaranteed.

Yes, but I have a problem with relationships.

Me too.

Yes, but I have a rule a bit ugly to say.

Mine is worse.

- Come on, you say it first. - No, you say it.

- No, come on, you say it first. - No, you say it.

(together) Ok, you only have one month.

Usually it's me that I have to explain this thing.

- Me too. - It's absurd.

Yes, because the first month it is that of sincerity.

Then the lies begin, the lies, and I can't stand it.

It's like that for me too.

I have a problem with cheating, I can't stand them.

You suffer too much, I don't want to fall in love anymore.

In a month it doesn't happen to me, I am slow.

Okay, perfect.

Fundamental rule: never sleep Together, otherwise we become attached.

Absolutely agree.

(VIBRATION)

Oh God, sorry!

Clio hadn't told me that she was the maid.

Indeed.

I'm the mother.

Nice to meet you, ma'am, Fred.

I'm going to put something on.

You are stupendous.

(Fred) Look at those how they hold hands.

Are you afraid that he will run away from you? I don't I know !

Look at those two instead.

They've been together for years, but they're bored to death.

But they feel forced to hold hands.

Oh mama !

That's better that you and I are not a couple.

That's better.

(Clio) Think about those couples

who fall asleep after they made love.

How sad.

In fact, look at that moon pardon.

Already'.

(THUNDER)

Rains !

We slept together! We slept together!

- That's not good. - No, it's not good.

Today marks 29 days that we hang out.

We can end it here, right?

I'm glad you said it, because I didn't know how to say it.

Anyway, as man of the month you were top.

I had a great time too, 29 days flew by.

Usually how do you handle these goodbye?

- Well, in the coldest way possible. - Good, I agree.

Real ?

- It was a great pleasure. - Me too.

- See you around. - Are you OK. - You too.

- HI. - HI.

Let's say 30?

- Also 31. - Love !

Dad can't wait to meet you.

Let's hope so.

(CLIO CLEARS HER THROAT)

It can't get any worse about how it went with your mother.

- Dad' ! - Darling!

Fred, dad. Dad, Fred.

Good morning, Giancarlo.

- No, my name is Alberto. - Why do you call him Giancarlo?

Because he has the face of Giancarlo.

No, he's right, It's happened to me many times.

Then people tell you: "You're a Giancarlo type."

- Do you see it? - Will you let us in, Giancarlo?

How stupid.

- Giancarlo? - He has the face of Giancarlo.

Alberto, do you touch my photos? I always find them crooked.

Love ! Here you are.

Irene, good morning, for you.

Good morning, Fred, thank you.

Today he came dressed.

Better that way he doesn't come dad's complexes.

Is it just the four of us?

No, I also invited Maurizio.

- What joy! - (Irene) Poor thing!

He just separated, he had more horns than a basket of snails

It's a pity, he was the only one who didn't know it.

These are things that happen.

Yes, but a man of that age reduced like an amoeba...

(Maurizio) I'm here.

Maurizio, sorry, I didn't hear you come in.

No, imagine that.

(Maurizio) I brought you a little gift.

I thought of something that goes well with your salon

Thanks, you didn't have to.

I sculpted you, Irene.

I was on it 302 hours.

Many more than Alberto in the last five years.

Beautiful, congratulations.

Yes, I enjoy art, but I'm a humble bank manager.

Don't be modest, it's the director of the central branch of the BNL.

It's my bank.

Today is the day of coincidences.

What coincidences?

I'm going to choose the wine. Fred, do you want to come with me?

(Alberto) I'll show you an extraordinary cellar.

Travel agent!

You are not ashamed to lie to my daughter like that?

I ? Look who's talking!

You lied about the family file, it's not done!

No, my wife is a judge.

I have no intention of involving her, as a matter of respect.

You cheat on my girlfriend's mother with a rinse and talk about respect

Attention, first point: Cinzia is not a slob.

No!

Point two: you know what that means for a lush tropical jungle,

due to climate change,

find themselves becoming a desert without any life form?

No.

- No? - No.

Then you don't know shit of my sexual life,

so don't make any judgements.

Cinzia finds me beautiful, brilliant, she goes crazy when she makes love to me.

When will I find someone like this? Come on!

Listen to me about your life sexual I don't give a damn.

The contract is cancelled, I want to tell Clio the truth.

Tell him too that the father is your client,

the most affectionate, okay?

The weekend with Cinzia I do it anyway,

no matter what it costs.

Alright, I'll keep you covered, but I only do it to protect Clio

I don't want you to destroy yours family with your amateur messes.

- Know that I don't respect you. - I'll get over it.

(Fred) Where was here?

This is Parmalat's collapse.

I liked it so much Anti-Corruption.

Since I have been on the Board of State I'm overwhelmed with paperwork.

(Fred) Is this you, Maurizio?

Yes, that's me with my son and my ex-wife.

-Son of him? - Yes, Guglielmo, like my father.

- But it's... - What ? - I mean, it's...

It's black, yes, I know.

Amazing, do you think that for two white

there is a 1 in 4,220,000 chance of having a black son.

It happened to us.

There are those who win the Superenalotto and who has a black child.

She thinks what an ass.

And this gentleman instead?

This is Game', the village chief.

Too nice, a person exquisite.

We went there every year and he was always there,

fond of Guglielmo.

Here we were engaged.

We loved dancing so much.

In an instant you will be 30 years old marriage.

Alberto isn't there, he has an important conference in Rovigo.

- Poor thing! - Oh.

Mom, why don't we leave you and me this weekend?

That is, if Fred doesn't mind.

Go figure, this weekend they are engaged.

What are you doing ?

I am accompanying a group to Senegal.

- Then it means we'll go with our lovers. - Yes'.

Don't joke, Irene, betrayal is horrendous.

He has never entered this house, I know, because I've always been there.

To your 30 years of clean love, Alberto.

To you.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Maurizio.

Love, look!

161 views on mine videos!

I know, there aren't many, but one has been added.

- It's good. - Certain.

But I'm afraid it depends on the fact that you're looking at it now.

- Oh. - Love.

I mean, success he needs his time.

You just have to stay calm and have confidence in your qualities.

Love, you always know how to make me smile again.

(CAT MEOWS) Hate !

What's wrong with the kitten? Does the sun bother him?

Platinum?

No, he had trauma as a child.

Poor thing, he was loved too much, if he doesn't feel adored, he will scratch you.

Here, at first glance Platinum makes you look like an asshole,

instead delving deeper...

Come on, taste the caviar.

Yum!

Good ! "Kill"!

What is caviar exactly?

Egg.

But they taste like fish.

And'.

Eggs that taste like fish.

I could make a song about it.

Si', si'!

but that doesn't mean I condemn you

- Bella. - Bella ?

- Do you like it ? - Beautiful.

Indeed, let's drink now, let's absolutely toast.

This is over. Waiter !

I'll wait for you in the room, like me give it a try everything I don't know.

Come on, Platinum, love!

God exists.

Holy shit!

(PHON NOISE)

(KNOCKING) (Irene) Clio, will you open to me?

(Clio) I left the door open, mom.

Where the fuck am I going?

(Irene) No, it's closed.

I left it open.

I heard Maurizio, he goes to feed the dog.

No, poor beast!

- Mom, that's going to depress him. - No !

You saw the photo of dad sui social?

Oh God, how sad! Poor thing!

Wait, I'll call him.

(MOBILE PHONE)

Surprise!

Albi, what are you doing here?

Happy anniversary.

I gave up everything and I took the first plane to Pugl

I didn't want to leave you alone.

You move me so.

How did you know we were here?

We booked with the email of family, he will have seen it.

Obviously, it runs in the family.

But how did you dress, dad?

Sporty.

He's an elderly sailor, he's not too bad.

But thanks!

How did you choose this place?

A banner always appeared advertising on your home computer,

It said "offer unmissable".

Albi, this madness you did It's a wonderful surprise.

- Where's your suitcase? - My suitcase?

They took her to another room and now they bring it back to me.

Instead, Fred?

It should be in Senegal,

we have a video call in five minutes.

My friend, I have to make a joke to my girlfriend.

She must believe that I'm in Senegal, let's have a video call.

- I am from Senegal. - Great! We do ?

Yes, you buy 12 beautiful socks mixed fantasy?

Yes, even 20 gorgeous mixed ones fantasy, but please, Senegal.

Relax.

I did theater in Senegal, they called me Willy Smith.

Willy Smith, great! Come on, ready.

Hello, my love, how are you?

Well ! I also have a guide who speaks Italian.

Hi, I'm Dudu'.

- It's Dudu. - We're in Senegal.

Senegal dress and real Senegal palm.

(Fred) Okay, she understood that we are in Senegal.

How are you, love?

- There's a surprise here. - Meaning what' ? - Look.

Cuckoo!

Alberto.

How are you doing, Fred? Is Senegal beautiful?

It's wonderful! Zebras everywhere!

In Senegal you always see zebra.

Baby, I love zebras, Can you make me a video with the zebra?

Yes, I'll send you the video with the zebra.

Darling, I wish you were here.

But he can't, he's in Senegal.

All right, my darling, I'll let you go with your parents.

- I miss you. - Me too.

- (Irene) Hello, Fred! - I miss you too, bye!

- Hello from Senegal! - And that's it!

- Socks. - Yes'.

- Twenty euros. - Here.

Willy Smith of Senegal.

It's the end!

I made a mess, I forgot my wedding ring at home!

How do I do it? How do I do it now?

We'll take your faith from you, Don't worry, we'll take care of everything

- All right. - Stay away from Cinzia, is that clear?

Agree.

(Fred) Guys, code red, wife and lover on site.

Diego, prepare me a record company. Paolo, book a helicopter.

Go get faith at Alberto's house

and see you at the Acaya Resort, it's clear ?

Operational, eh!

Darnit !

(MOBILE PHONE)

Hello?

Am I talking to "Double you" Cinzia?

No, it says "Double-u" Cinzia.

Why doesn't anyone understand this? Who are you?

Toni La Motta, record producer.

"Stop compromises".

It's a bomb! Can we talk?

Yes' !

I was waiting for a friend of mine, but it doesn't matter.

Tell me, what is this noise?

We are recording the new one by Lorenzo Jovanotti.

Do you hear this noise? It's called "I'm Getting Dizzy."

- (Cinzia) Mr. La Motta, what Pleasure ! - (Fred) My pleasure, Doble-u.

(Paolo) Here it is!

- Found it. - Put this thing down.

(DOOR OPENING) Damn, there's someone!

(Maurizio) Fred?

Fred, come! Come on, Fred!

Come on, Fred! There he is !

Well done! Enjoy your meal.

He how are you ? Come with me up ?

- Let's hide. - Where ?

Go, go!

So how are you ?

We haven't seen each other in a while, did you miss me?

I know, I know.

I missed you too, you know?

No, really?

I don't believe it.

Ah, then you provoke.

Well, if so...

(ZIP NOISE) (Maurizio) Greet the beast.

You wanted it, you force me.

You remember that, don't you?

His name is Rodrigo, you gave him this name.

Rodrigo obeys only you.

Rodrigo!

Rodrigo... Good!

We are incredible.

Don't you think?

Shall we go over there?

Really every time...

It's like it's the first time.

Magic.

(YEELS)

Fuck!

Who's there?

Stop! I'll call the police ! Who are you?

Who are we?

Who we are!

We are vigilantes.

Who are you, sir?

- My name is Maurizio. - Maurizio, what are you doing here?

I carry out important tasks in this house.

Also the one to use in that way the photos of the lady?

Please ?

Don't answer, we have a film,

we will show it to the lady and I would be the one to judge for myself.

Don't ruin me! The video, no, please!

I give you everything I have!

I have 70,000 euros and a house in the countryside.

How many square meters?

I want to give you a hand, Maurizio.

(Paolo) For this time pass, but be careful.

Let's go.

Enough tasks, dirty boy.

My problem is promotion.

If I went on TV, I would make it big.

(Cinzia) But I'm against TV, so they don't invite me.

Welcome to Acaya, Dr. La Motta, have a good stay.

(KNOCKING) (Alberto) Cinzia, I'm here.

Excuse me, my friend is back, I have to go.

Okay, let's talk tomorrow, I take the plane and come to Acaya.

All right, okay, see you tomorrow.

HI.

He's back, that dickhead!

- Go slow. - Don't worry, I know how to drive.

- Please, the distance of safety. - Oh mama !

Have you lost your faith?

No, I have it, it's just...

There's one little thing I don't have said, nonsense.

I am narcoleptic.

Yes, but nothing serious, It's just that I forgot about the doctors

What happens if you don't take them?

Oh, wake up!

(Paolo) Sorry, I'm here! (HORN)

Can't we go and buy them?

They only sell them in the Vatican, It takes two days to get them.

Why don't you drive?

- I don't have a driving license. - How come you don't have a driving licence?

I don't have a driving licence, it's my choice not to conform..

Oh, wake up! (HORN)

(Paolo) I'm here!

Please don't tell Fred, otherwise he'll fire me.

Everyone fires me for this, it's nothing serious.

- Okay, I won't tell him. - Really ?

- Yes'. - Thank you, you are a friend.

- Do you think I'm a spy? - Thank you.

Wakes up !

I'm awake!

Prevention is better than cure.

- Well, where have you been? - Looking for champagne in town.

- And where is he? - The country?

No, champagne.

It ended there too, we'll have a drink from the minibar.

Blueberry ?

- Everything is fine ? - Yes, very well.

No, not really, I have to tell you something What.

- Some people have arrived here... - What people?

(Fred) Agent Beta, we are ready for the Senegal mission

The target is already in place.

Face against the wall, lady!

Shall we go, Beta?

Oh God, Alberto, what's happening? Who And' ?

(Fred) Too many questions, I don't trust you. Beta, should I delete it?

No, absolutely, we can trust her.

(Fred) Okay, Beta, the Colonel it's you.

Colonel? But what does he mean?

(Fred) Waste of time, lady, we are Services, don't ask for more.

Are you from the Secret Services?

- Oh God, I don't believe it! - (Fred) Oh, no?

He wants me to tell her about the phone call with the record company Toni La Motta

in which she said: "If I went on TV, I'd make it big"?

Or she wants me to talk about Andrea Peaks, 3B, her first boyfriend in middle school?

- (Cinzia) It wasn't important. - (Fred) Let's go!

I can go on a mission with a blueberry-stained t-shirt?

Face against the wall! Face against the wall!

(Cinzia) Don't shoot me!

(Cinzia) My song is not ready and I can't leave posthumously.

What mission is it?

Terrorism, drug trafficking... Everything is fine.

(Fred) Colonel Beta He's undercover.

Two secret agents they will pose as wife and daughter.

If she should cross them, she has to pretend she doesn't know him.

- Or I'll have to put her down, okay? - Yes, yes!

(Cinzia) Yes, yes, yes.

Alberto!

Be cautious.

I am sorry, prudence is not in his DNA.

(Fred) Wretched man, I told you no contact.

(Alberto) He had been waiting for three hours.

Listen to this, why officer secret ?

Rule number six: "If you have to tell a lie, tell it gros

"The louder you blow it, the more credible."

Rule number seven: "If the victim is an idiot, it's easier

No, wait, Cinzia isn't an idiot.

Cinzia is a sensitive artist.

How do you know Who were you with in middle school?

She wrote it six years ago on Facebook.

(Fred) Come here.

Here we have placed a temporary operating base.

Look, this is faith, okay?

This is a very small camera sensitive.

He puts her in his room and we monitor everything from here.

The anniversary gift.

(Diego) It's 4000 euros with received.

But are you crazy?

The gift in the female mammal it is a sign of nurturing of the nest,

produces doses of serotonin that create satisfaction

and lower logical defenses.

The woman who receives a gift from 4000 euros then she doesn't understand shit anymore.

- Vulgar. - Asshole.

Tomorrow you are going on a tour of the wines, while we take Cinzia away.

I already told you, I'll tell you again for the last time.

No contacts, just Cinzia.

My life is also at stake, not just yours.

Hi, dad.

Hi sweetie.

- Where did you change there T-shirt ? - At the bar.

- Didn't you lose your suitcase? - They found her.

Why did you change at the bar?

Because you were right, that other one was too flashy.

And instead this...

Because what's wrong with this one?

What are you hiding behind your back?

- I did not understand. - Behind your back, what are you hiding?

Oh.

- (Irene) Hello, Albi. - Honey.

Happy anniversary.

But it's beautiful!

Thank you, Albi, you make me cry.

She hit and sunk.

Look at Clio, she has arms crossed, indicates distrust, suspects something.

We had to buy a gift too to her.

Please keep your eyes open.

Hey ! Oh!

- Are you tired from the trip? - He's narcoleptic.

He hid it and he asked me not to tell you.

Coward.

(BEEP SIGNAL)

Damn, the zebra!

Near here I saw a circus.

- Oh! - Do you need an acrobat, a trapeze artist?

Not only is he narcoleptic, he's pure stupid.

But wow...

(ANIMAL SOUNDS)

Come on, come on.

Stay here.

Wait, boss, we bring it closer to you in the frame.

- Bring the quadruped closer. - I ? - Go.

Ouch!

- He crushed my balls! - For what you use them!

No!

Instead he hit you on the ass.

- You idiots, you did it escape. - What do we do now?

(NITRITE)

Love, goodnight from Senegal and from zebra.

Say hello, come on.

Come on, let's fix it.

Cute ! We did a good job Work.

This is easy once I turned a zebra into a horse

It's much more difficult.

What excuse did you make to those at the conference?

I said I had a fever.

(Irene) Be careful, Albi, you've never been good at lying.

(Alberto) You know me well.

I can't... (CINZIA CLEARS HER THROAT)

Yes, I don't know anyone here, I came alone.

Some people will do anything to get noticed.

What are you doing for the anniversary?

I didn't think about it, Dad gave me a surprise.

I thought of it, look.

So, everything is ready for today afternoon ?

But you think so, of course!

I knew it.

(Man) It's an explosive concentrate.

What a bomb!

(Clio) How nice, dads.

(INAUDIBLE VOICE)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATION)

Albi, aren't you answering?

No, it's Unknown Number.

It must be someone from the conference there in Rovigo.

Waiter, excuse me!

You can bring me breakfast at Villino Armonia?

(Cinzia) Please, I'm waiting for a guest.

I have to tell him something very urgent and if it doesn't arrive immediately, a mac happens

Why is this one looking at us? Do you know her?

- No. - No, who is he?

No, nope.

(Alberto) I thought about it again, I reply.

Meanwhile you hurry up, Get dressed and we're leaving.

Don't you think that dad Is he acting a little strange?

He actually surprised me too, I've never seen it so organised

A wine tour at 9am morning ?

- Is a joint better? - Mom!

Oh God, Clio, it was a joke.

Smile at life once!

Let's go get ready, it's better.

- No, you go, I'll finish the coffee. - Yes'.

Love !

Love, you came!

Sure, you were making a mess out there!

Not me, the terrorists.

The two cyclists, they had the bomb in their lunchbox.

Forget it, it's my job.

- You have to stay calm. - No!

I've seen the movies, okay?

I know how women end up who love spies: they die.

But what are you saying?

Then those two are not your wife and your daughter, are they spies?

Certain.

I would feel safer being there with you.

No! No, you can't.

It's better that you stay away, I don't want you to take any risks.

I want you to stay out of this.

But I'm so worried about you.

I dreamed that they riddled you with shots.

You were all bloody.

You were so manly.

- Riddled, absolutely riddled! - Yes' !

As soon as they go on the wine tour Let's take W Cinzia away, okay?

Okay.

Because Clio searches in his father's suitcase?

(Irene) What are you looking for?

You remember the photo dad has posted of the congress in Rovigo?

Of course, I remember it.

- Do you remember that dress was he wearing? - (Irene) That horrible gray barbed wire

That dress in her suitcase there isn't, how do you explain it?

But it's acute, isn't it?

(Clio) And that crazy girl breakfast ?

Those two stared at each other, they know each other, I'll tell you.

Clio, mother's darling.

I know where you're going with this, you know?

Please don't ruin my vacation with your absurd paranoia.

Thank you.

It's not paranoia, mom!

The sailor t-shirt by Pope'

it was in a laundry bag hanging on the door of that one.

(Clio) How many people do they have that horrible t-shirt?

No, he's already found the proof.

Will you stop complimenting her?

(Irene) Dad wasn't feeling bad.

That's why he appeared there the banner of this place.

It's obvious, because dad has booked this hotel for his lover.

He's a genius, guys, you have to admit it, I take it.

Fred, pull yourself together, this one catches us now and then you leave

(Clio) Deny reality, I'm going to talk to that crazy girl.

(Irene) Clio, where are you going?

Give me Cinzia's room.

The camera has been moved, I turn up the volume.

(GROANS)

(Cinzia) All this danger to me excite!

Who is he talking to?

Don't tell me that...

(Alberto) Potato, please, I can't.

This is truly an idiot! I have to stop Clio!

- You can't, you're in Senegal! - Right.

Meow! (PURRS)

- Come on, don't be stiff. - So you don't help me.

You know, I knew it.

It's from the first moment that I ask myself: "Why him?"

You're not beautiful, you're not intelligent, you're not in shape.

In short, even in bed it's not That...

But it doesn't matter.

I felt that under this fur grey the heart of the true man beat.

I love you.

No, are you crazy?

Over there is mine... my mission.

I can't have sex right now, I just can't.

- Why' ? - Why can't I have sex?

Because otherwise I become good.

Instead to shoot, you have to stay bad,

thus one is saved.

I mean, now, please...

I go.

Alberto, no, tell me what's happening.

- I told you... - Otherwise I'll make a mess.

Okay, now I'll tell you everything.

There's no way that shirt whether it's dad's, you're absurd!

In your opinion, how many people they can put such a ridiculous t-shirt?

That's enough, sit down.

Do you want me to remind you what it is success a few years ago?

I don't want any more scenes.

I'll go.

We finally found out which is a terrorist group

which threatens peace in the West.

- Do you remember the attack on the Colosseum? - No.

Of course, I foiled him.

Really ?

Irene.

Maurice?

Maurizio, what are you doing here?

I came to talk to you about mine onanism.

You come ?

Enough now.

Clio, love!

- Fred! - Come here.

- What are you doing here? - Leave it alone, it's a mess.

Tonight I took a plane from Senegal

because we lost a group of Chinese in Matera.

I was on the road and stopped here, you told me you missed me.

My darling, come here, how beautiful you are!

(Clio) Love, thank goodness we're there you are!

- Things are happening terrible? - Meaning what' ?

My father cheats on my mother.

- No! - Yes'.

And I have been for 32 years

I only love you, Irene.

But, sorry, why do you come and tell me this thing,

after 32 years, in Puglia, on my anniversary?

Because now the situation it has become unsustainable.

You must know it from me and not from others,

that when I bring kibbles to Fred

I masturbate in front of photos of you in toga.

No, don't say anything.

Now that I've talked to you,

I don't need anything anymore.

One thing, however, I would ask you.

If I can.

You would hang the photo of the Enimont trial?

During the appeal hearing you were beautiful.

Thank you.

There's his t-shirt sailor hanging on that crazy woman's door.

(Clio) Mum doesn't believe me.

-She doesn't believe you? - No. - Why?

Because... Because...

- Why' ? - Why'...

Remember when I told you I have a little problem with cheating

- Yes'. - Well, it's a big, huge problem!

I get dark in my head, I don't think anymore!

Honey, it's normal, it happens to everyone.

Certain.

In your opinion, is it normal that when you discover that your boyfriend is cheating on you

get a spear gun and plant the harpoon on his shoulder

and then sets his car on fire.

To then find out that you were actually wrong.

- I got a complaint criminal. - Ouch.

Yes, but my mom covered it up All.

It's the only stain on his career, so she doesn't believe me.

With this precedent of course she is not willing to believe you.

And no! This time I have proof.

- Which ? - The shirt.

- You come. - No, wait, Clio!

(Fred) Even if it were the same to his shirt, what does that mean?

- (Fred) Wait! - Look.

(Clio) They were heavenly, they were celestial.

I promise you, I'm not crazy!

Honey, I believe you, I don't have any doubt.

Clio, I have no doubts.

Love, come here.

Sorry, I have to stay for a moment alone.

- No, wait. - No, go and see the Chinese.

- Clio, wait, don't do that. - Go, go. - Clio!

(Alberto, softly) I'm going to save the world.

(KISS) Chip!

I'll kill you! Look there.

I saved your ass again time, we missed him so much.

- Hate ! - Oh, oh my.

Go, go now, go!

Go save the world, go! Imbecile!

(in Venetian dialect) Sir! Gentleman !

Excuse me, his suit washed.

- Shall I take it to your room? - Thank you, yes, thank you.

Clio!

- Are you enchanted? - Let's go.

Everything ok, we're leaving.

Take action.

Perfect.

Let's go ?

W Cynthia! Michael, isn't she wonderful?

- Wow. - Hi, I'm Toni La Motta.

Oh, my God, hello! He came Really ?

Of course, Toni La Motta he goes where he smells success.

- This is Michael, my magician web. - Greetings.

This one has half a million likes only the first month.

I would say a Baby K type launch, what do you say?

- Do you work with Baby K? - (Fred) We work with Baby K!

You have no idea how many young people talents we launched.

Marracash, J-Ax.

- Panceri cat. - Shut up.

We also work with Jovanotti, i Subsonica, Piero Pelu'.

Really ? Do you know Piero Pelu'?

Pierino? He's a brother.

I had them put back on Litfiba together.

Oh, my God, this is crazy!

He's crazy, he is. I worked on it, they didn't want to know

No, that's crazy because Piero Pelu' is right there!

Holy shit, Look what a coincidence!

- Shall we go and say hello to him? - No.

No, Pierino is a bit shy, yes I'll go.

Caravaggio, punk, metal, dark...

(imitating Piero) Queen of hearts!

Diablo, how's it going?

Bad boy, do we know each other?

No, but I respect you very much.

Piero, believe me, you are rock Italian, I know your pieces by heart.

(Fred) Great!

Sorry, Piero, Can I give you a hug?

Neither.

- Listen, Piero, I have a problem. - (Piero) I see it.

- Change pusher. - (Fred) No, seriously.

Nine years ago Cinzia, a wonderful girl,

she left me saying: "You're a loser."

I've been traveling for nine years with her photo in her pocket,

But today I found her again and she's fine there, see?

(Fred) The one under the umbrella.

No, whatever!

I told her I work in the music world and I know you.

Look how the fuck I dressed, Can I ask you a favor?

Give me a hug and you say hello, is that possible?

At that time...

You definitely are a large lily bean.

You have a face like an ass, but I like you.

Thank you.

(Cinzia) How cool!

Yes, anyway if she after nine years he won't give it to you anymore,

maybe that's the case may you put your mind at peace.

- You say ? - I say.

But if he ever goes crazy and give it back to you, remember this thing.

Only imagined love is that True,

the real one, the loved one.

"Kill", beautiful words, who said them?

Listen, when you're done shit on the fan, give us a shout.

These are beautiful too.

You're great, Piero! Thank you.

Oh, it evaporates.

Botticelli, sex and rock and roll.

We are at the tasting, everything under control.

(Sommelier) Fifth tasting.

A round wine with shades fruity.

Dominant aroma: fruit of passion.

You're drinking them all, so you drunk.

- I thought that was your plan. - Effectively.

(Sommelier) It is said that Frederick IV of Bourbon

used it as an aphrodisiac.

(Sommelier) Well, let's move on to the next tasting.

Let me say which is the jewel of our company

How boring is this guy! Shall we go for a walk?

- No, you go, I'll go back in inn. - Okay, better.

- HI ! - What is it?

Come on, come on.

Oh God, I'm all spinning, I'm stupid!

You stole the bottle.

- You really don't miss anything. - No.

Here it is!

(LAUGHTER)

(Irene) I want to do crazy things for our anniversary.

Come on, mount!

- Wait. - Mount! Ole'!

Come on, Diego, show who you are.

Let me understand, what is the problem with this contract

(Cinzia) No, no one, but...

Because we have to go straight to Milan ? Can't we wait until Monday?

No, they'll announce on Monday the X Factor contestants.

I want to take someone out and insert you.

No.

- No, I can't. - Why' ?

It goes against my values.

You didn't understand, it's exactly the opposite.

When they see this monstrous talent of yours,

they remove a recommendation and they insert you, understand?

Michael, chance of victory for Cinzia?

53%, she is already the favorite.

Oh, my God!

Sorry, yes, it's a dream come true for me.

All of those come to mind moments where I feared being a bitch.

(MOBILE PHONE)

(Fred) Oh God, sorry, it's Fedez.

Love ! How's the tasting going?

I went back to the hotel, I'm going to the solarium to read a bit.

Lord, why are you crawling?

Shh! Don't say anything, little girls.

I'm a secret agent, I'm on a mission.

- Poor guy. - Already'.

- Fred? Fred, can you hear me? - Yes'.

(Clio) I think we should talk.

But now? I'm leaving, they spotted the Chinese in Matera.

- (Fred) Is it urgent? - I think we should break up.

I arrive.

- Do you know why my name is Michael? - No.

Because I'm Michael's nephew Jackson.

Come on, how cool! I don't believe it !

Fedez was stuck in Matera.

Ready in an hour, prepare the luggage.

My middle name is Elvis.

My parents love each other.

They love each other!

(Clio, PC) They love each other! My father give my mother diamond necklaces

(Clio) They go on romantic getaways.

(Fred) I get it, but why do you want to leave me?

(Clio) Fred, I'm crazy.

(Clio) I see celestial lines instead of gray lines.

I don't deserve you, I can't stay with you.

I can't be a lawyer, I have to get treated.

Really ?

For light blue or gray lines It seems exaggerated to me.

No, these are called hallucinations.

Read, it's a psychiatry case.

And if anyone had he replaced the shirt?

- (Fred) Think about it, Clio. - No, that's not possible, I'm sleeping.

Your father has a behavior strange lately.

How long has it been since he did a gift like this to your mother?

No, I'm sleeping, I'm sleeping.

Wakes up ! Wakes up !

- Do you think my suspicions can be founded. - Yes'.

Or not, your father might be loyal, but the suspicion is there.

So you know what I do?

I'm keeping an eye on that crazy girl.

She's good, but not here in the hotel.

- No? -No, because she might see you.

If they plot something, surely she knows who you are.

You know where you have to go to keep it keep an eye on?

You have to go further towards the beach, did you understand ?

Ah, the beach.

Get a nice pedalo' and go a little further afield.

From there you keep tabs the whole beach.

- The pedalo. - Yes'.

- You are a genius. - Come on, genius!

No, love, you are a genius and I am you I love.

- (Clio) I'll go get the I pedal. - (Fred) Go.

We're making a mess like this to hide the truth from Clio

and you tell her everything?

But whose side are you on?

From ours, but I love her, I can't make her think she's crazy.

Do me a favor, Clio is going to the beach.

Follow her while I take W Scema away, Because if she catches me with her, I'm dead

- Excuse me, I need a I pedal. - Sorry, they're finished.

Today I lost my mind because you surprised me.

It's been a long time since I've seen you like this, do you know?

Sometimes I thought that if you had found another,

I might even have understood you.

- Did you do it? - No, and you?

I thought about it.

You didn't look at me anymore, we no longer had anything in common.

But I didn't do it.

I didn't do it because I love you too.

Now I'm glad I didn't have done it.

Come on, stop thinking about the past.

You know what I think about ours marriage ?

It has become like this stone, dish.

But we, with our will,

we can search to make it fly above the water.

Try it too, come on.

- Try, hold, come on. - Ugh!

- Force. - Come on.

- Soft wrist. - Yes'.

Now you have to launch it parallel to the water, understand?

With strength!

- Holy shit! - (Child) Mommy! Mom!

(SONG: "LADY MARMALADE" BY PATTI LABELLE)

- Do you remember this one? - Of course! How many lifetimes ago did he dance

Come on, life is always the same.

(RUSSIAN)

I'm not interested in success.

I want to become a star

to tell young people that they must remain themselves.

It's an important message.

However, if we want to work Together, you have to make friends with Platinum.

(PLATINUM BLOWS) Platinum?

Don't think badly, I haven't called like that for the platinum record.

I'm not interested in prizes.

I would rather win it and then reject it

and send the message that prizes don't matter.

- What are you saying? - What am I saying?

I say it will be a wonderful trip.

(NOISE)

Things' ?

What is it? (MEOW)

Shut up a bit!

(Fred) Who knows what?

There's no reception, what do we do?

- Do you think I'm an idiot? - Meaning what' ?

Do you think I don't understand it?

What ?

Escape in van, broken down in a romantic place...

If I were a street cleaner, I'd be there as well, but you're a record company, so no.

Song "Stop Compromises" and I can't do these things.

Cinzia, I don't want anything.

With or without sex, the contract you will have will be the same

Okay?

Are you gay?

No, I'm not gay, I'm faithful.

Yes, certainly.

An honest producer and a man loyal !

(with Slavic accent) Do you need help? What's the problem?

The van doesn't start.

Dragomir solves everything, Dragomir no dear,

Dragomir no invoice, Dragomir...

Little time.

Dragomir who?

Dragomir me.

Leave it alone, there's no need.

I'll call a tow truck, I'm insured.

But there's no reception!

- Telephone no range? - No.

Who chats while jumping no hooks to the trapeze.

I didn't understand, sorry.

It means it doesn't stop you if then walk.

Here you go, caravan ready.

No, take it off, there's no need.

You don't trust us because we are nomads?

Are you racist?

No, imagine, you don't know how many nomadic friends I have.

I see them little because they are always around.

So all friends.

Well, let's go camp.

Wasted time is stolen time to man's passion

running towards the horizon.

- Who's running? - Man towards horizon.

- Right. - What beautiful verses!

I could make a song about it.

the horizon

who doesn't compromise, yeah

- Wow ! - "Double-u", now is not the time.

Very sick engine.

Tomorrow morning Dragomir does go back to work

as a young slut his first experience.

No, like tomorrow morning? Where do we sleep?

What's the problem? There is guest caravan.

How nice, Toni, come on!

I love nomadic culture and all these beautiful ethnic necklaces.

What are those, shells?

No, they're teeth.

- Teeth of what? - Asshole teeth. - How?

This asshole that scratched my car.

Interesting! It's a ritual tribal?

Yes, this tribe of mine.

Look where I leave my keys machine.

She says nomads steal.

Here we are all nomads, no one steals!

(CHEERING)

True peace here, friend, true calm'.

Need a ride, buddy?

Where are you going dressed like that?

Superhero Swinger Party, at the Orange Park.

(Captain America) Do you want to come?

I like superheroes very, very much, but I'm working.

(Diego) I don't even have a costume.

What's the problem? Is found.

- You want ? - Thank you.

I've been walking all day, I'm thirsty, everything has happened to me.

(DIEGO SCREAMS)

(SONG IN ENGLISH)

- What diet do you do to have a physical like this? - (Spiderman) Carbs and fried.

- Carbohydrates and fried foods? - Yes'. - Great!

Hulk!

How big you are!

Guys, watch Thor!

Fuck! But he's really stoned!

(RUSSIAN)

(THEY SPEAK IN ARABIC)

Do you have a battery charger?

“Eatshan, eatshan.” Greetings !

Are you going for a walk?

(DOOR OPENING)

(IRENE LAUGHS)

(Irene) Thanks for that that you put me through.

- (Irene) My Python. - (Alberto) Python?

- (Irene) Yes. - (Alberto) You haven't called me that since

(Irene) I know, I know, but I desire you, my python!

(Alberto) And I love you, python!

(Irene) Then python me as you know you do it!

(Irene) Yes! Yes' ! As' !

(Alberto) Python! Python!

(GROANS)

(They SHOUT)

Love, how was the sea today?

(RUSSIAN)

(Diego) It was wonderful, do you know?

I'm happy to have waited for you.

I think I'm in love.

Don't be scared, but I'm already thinking about the next 50 years

I love optimists.

(Paolo) Madam, there is a misunderstanding.

- (Woman) Calm down, stay calm. - (Paolo) I'm just dehydrated.

They take her to the center of welcome.

No, believe me, it's a "", It's not what you think.

Stay calm, we're here.

No, believe me, I'm just dehydrated, do you understand?

- I am Italian. -Of course, she's delirious.

- No, I'm from Livorno. - Come.

I'm from Livorno!

(Policeman) They all say that, we take fingerprints.

No, I'm from Livorno! They are from Livorno!

Did you sleep alone or do something else?

We slept.

I am sorry, then you need bull's blood,

give strength to the male.

Just kidding, it's organic blueberry juice.

Antioxidant, help for your pleasure stick.

(THEY SPEAK IN SLAVIC)

(THEY SPEAK IN SLAVIC)

Hey !

Excuse me, what's happening?

Asshole steals circus zebra and paints little horse, look!

But Dragomir steals camera's Common

and now I look at your face broke in the ass.

Then I look at busted ass face !

What are you laughing at?

I see you're busy,

tell us how much the repair is of the van and we're leaving.

Where are you going ?

Indeed, yes, Toni, what a rush there is' ? Let's stay a little longer.

Shut up.

I stole the zebra.

What makes a record company out of it of a zebra?

Is there a bathroom, by any chance?

Here behind the trailer, no one disturbs.

Thank you.

- I'm going to the bathroom for a moment too. - No jealous.

Woman has her rights, she lets you shit in peace.

(THEY SPEAK IN SLAVIC)

Go!

(PLATINUM MEOWS) Shut up a bit!

(MEOW) I told you: "Shut up a bit!"

(Fred) Fuck!

If I catch you, I'll make you eat soup your whole life!

Who the fuck are you, Hamilton?

The only nomad who drives in Formula 1 I caught him.

Stop machine.

I don't do anything to you, I just want speak.

How ugly you are!

(MEOW)

Shut up, this will get us teeth first to me and then to you!

Do you want to come down?

Go!

Fucking cat!

(Prince) No run, kitten, I make underwear with your fur.

Yes' !

The zebra?

(CRASH)

(Clio) What a wretch! Coming back from Matera without sleeping?

It was to be with you, love.

Honey, you're lucky to have a boyfriend like that.

Like me, after all.

I have to apologize to you.

All my suspicions they were absolutely ridiculous.

Of course they were ridiculous.

You are a perfect couple, mom, you are perfect.

It's a problem because all the my fears they came from there,

because I didn't feel up to it.

I always thought that I would never have found

such a faithful man and honest like you, dad.

Instead I was wrong, because I I have it.

Just one last question, Fred.

Tell me.

Will you marry me?

Yes'.

- Sorry, did I hurt you? - No.

Ouch, a little yes.

it's finished.

All right, Fred, we're going back to Rome, get better.

Hello, Irene.

- And you ? - I'll stay here until you get better.

- See you tomorrow ? - Yes'.

Look, I'll stay for a moment to talk to my son-in-law.

Look, the contract is broken.

It's clear.

I know, I'm an idiot, I love my wife.

I told Cinzia that she was finished, I sent her a message.

You did the right thing, Alberto.

Look, what I was like as an agent secret ?

A wrench.

Oh.

But how did you end up? You know we shouldn't attract attention

I had a terrible night.

In fact, I don't even want any speak.

For once I agree with tea.

Let's not talk about it.

- Ouch! - Excuse me.

Nothing.

There's one more thing I don't have said.

- Another one? - Yes'.

Thanks, I was waiting for you, A thousand thanks.

- Okay, have a good day. - Until we meet again.

Where are we going, darling?

- I have to show you something, Love. - What ?

- Do you know that unfortunately I was right? - Meaning what' ?

My father is a monster, ha lied to everyone.

My goodness, Clio, another time?

No, but I assure you, she wasn't even alone.

He had an agency that provided alibis.

An agency of what? But what are you saying?

I know, it seems incredible, but I discovered them by chance,

while they slept, in a small room.

They had a computer full of cases.

Oh, my God, what did you do to him?

- Huh? - Nothing !

I'm over the anger now, love.

I just gave the computer to the Hyenas.

- To whom? - To the Hyenas.

Look, look with me.

(JINGLE)

tell It's an incredible story.

We discovered a very agency secret,

SOS Alibi, a brilliant system,

designed to deliver the lies, the lies, the bullshit.

It was designed to cover just the one who puts the horns on.

town at the foot of Vesuvius, Torre del Gre

where Federico Gugliano was born, the owner.

Oh, my God.

a conference in Rovigo...

Clio, I swear.

You disgust me.

Wait, Clio, I swear, let me explain.

the singer Cinzia...

No, sorry, it's W Cinzia.

- (Hyena) Sorry. - (Cinzia) I wanted to say something.

These are cynical people who lives on deception and falsehood.

This is today's society, yes.

Alibis and lies!

Ah, no, no!

Search online for "Stop Compromises".

Put "like" to say enough to these things.

Lost? Your Cinzia is here for you.

Stop compromises! You do it too.

- (Cinzia) Stop compromises! - (Iena) Stop compromises!

(SCREAMING)

My Africa!

Mother, Mother Superior.

Mother.

Monsignor, It's an honor to have you as a volunteer.

Mother, here she has arrived parable?

- The Gospel? - No, the satellite.

Can we see Serie A?

- Truly... - Rome Channel?

Not even the Italian Cup.

The Lord asks us really a great sacrifice.

Mom, how did you forgive Pope' ?

Darling, we forgive you in proportion to how much you love.

And I love your dad.

A lot, a lot.

I'm not like you.

(DOORBELL)

- Clio, listen to me. - We have nothing to say to each other.

- No, you have to listen to me. - But no.

You told me too many lies, I don't believe you anymore, I don't trust you.

I love you.

I do not.

I read body language and in your eyes I read love.

- Oh, yes? - Yes'.

(HORN)

- Well, it's true. - Oh.

But it's not for you.

- It's for Rodolfo. - Who the fuck is Rodolfo?

It's Rodolfo.

HI ! Hi love !

Sorry, but who are you?

Can you leave me around the corner?

No, because I'm waiting for mine lass.

Exactly, the longer you wait, the more easy for her to see you with me, so go.

No, it's coming down to this one moment, so if you please...

Leave, damn it, or I'll take it out boobs.

Then will you explain it to her?

No.

(SONG: "EVERYTHING CHANGES" BY VALENTINA PARISSE)

My father will be with you immediately, He's with a client now.

- Thank you. - Nothing.

Of course the more it grows the more he resembles his father.

Even frozen accounts?

Maurizio, so I'm ruined, do something.

I am sorry, the PM asks for it as a guarantee, understand

For compensation cases initiated by the agency's victims.

I understand.

- Thank you. - I'll accompany you.

Hey.

Well, the beauty of hanging out all the same bank

It's just that every now and then we meet.

- Clio. - Let it be.

Let's go ?

(Bandit, with an Eastern accent) Everyone on the ground!

- (Maurizio) Stop! - Everyone on the fucking ground, come on!

Go down!

Calm down, calm down, I'm the director!

Do everything they tell you.

(Bandit) Don't move!

What the fuck are you looking at? Down, everyone below' !

- Come on, fill this dick with sack ! - Right away.

(Bandit 2) Stop, assholes!

Down, I said down!

Below' ! Hands clearly visible, damn it!

- Quick, move! - (Bandit 2) Down! Below' !

What the fuck are you doing?

(Maurizio) No, Guglielmo! My son, no!

What have you done?

Fuck, you killed asshole! Now we need a hostage, get a bitch!

(Woman) Don't hurt us!

No old slut, young slut!

- (Bandit) Come on! - (Clio) Mom!

Wait, wait, wait!

Wait, take me.

She gets agitated and makes a mess, there I know.

You want to be a hero, you ugly bastard, You come.

Come on, bastard!

Wait, let me just say one thing, Please.

Clio, I don't know if I will have another chance to tell you.

I was wrong.

I always said that alibis,... lies they save couples, but that's not true.

Even if you don't get caught, you know you lied.

The lie ruins love, always.

You're fucking broke, come on!

Don't hurt him, please!

No, Irene, please, no!

Stay there, my life is without it Clio it's no use!

Fred, I'm an idiot!

- I love you, love! - Love !

(All) Well done!

And you wouldn't let me talk.

Well, Clio, it was for your own good.

If you are together,

to that unfortunate man at least one source of profit we will have to find it for him

Yes, I'm opening an agency that brings couples back together.

SOS Heartsaver.

Yeah, and we already have a lot requests.

Accounting is also convenient,

because many customers are those who had previously broken up.

Dad, how did I go?

Very well, William, very intense, very good.

But sorry, gentlemen.

We had agreed that I too had to die.

You should have shot me too, I felt death for three days.

Director.

Agent Beta is unforgiving.

Pum!

Pum!

Extraordinary!

(All) Well done!

(All) Well done! Well done!

Well done! Well done! Well done!

You should have been an actor.

Well...

I brought you the F24s.

You too, not bad.

(Clio) I like SOS Salvacuori.

- Real ? - Yes'.

But there's one thing that you need to remember from now on.

What, love?

No more lies, not even for good reasons.

Received ?

Received, loud and clear.

(Man, radio) Here's the piece which is climbing the charts.

In Cinzia,

with "Stop Compromises".

better, jobs

He says you're trivial

not normal at all

to draw attention to me

it makes me feel beautiful

a star

shrewd

stop

(Cinzia) you're proof of the bad

destroyed

horrendous

lawyers

I don't bow to society

but I ask you for a little civility

horrendous

to give voice to your voices

Subtitles by Artis-Project