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1
00:00:30,653 --> 00:00:34,954
Captioning made possible by
lions gate entertainment
2
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,116
Man: We have no exit from
this freeway, Mr. Kirk!
3
00:01:03,149 --> 00:01:05,016
How am I gonna
sell my gasoline?
4
00:01:05,049 --> 00:01:07,682
Woman: We can't live
without tourists.
5
00:01:07,715 --> 00:01:09,415
We'll just die,
that's all.
6
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:12,215
Man: Without an exit, we won't
have any business here.
7
00:01:12,248 --> 00:01:15,414
A whole lot of stores
are gonna have to close!
8
00:01:15,447 --> 00:01:16,514
Quiet! Shh!
9
00:01:16,547 --> 00:01:17,514
I understand
your irritation.
10
00:01:17,547 --> 00:01:20,947
But our studies indicate
that the town of ticlaw
11
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,513
does not qualify
for an exit
12
00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:25,080
based on our
demographic analyzation.
13
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,279
No! No.
14
00:01:28,312 --> 00:01:30,445
You're just
too small!
15
00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:32,012
All: Too small?
16
00:01:32,045 --> 00:01:33,279
Please, now,
come on.
17
00:01:33,312 --> 00:01:35,945
There--there's an--
there is an exit...
18
00:01:35,979 --> 00:01:38,311
35 miles south,
the town of Marshall.
19
00:01:38,344 --> 00:01:40,710
But they'll get
all our tourists!
20
00:01:42,111 --> 00:01:43,377
Now, now, now, now--
hey, hey, hey! Look!
21
00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:47,409
We can't give every little
piddly-assed town an exit!
22
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,042
Piddly-assed town?
23
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:52,442
Kirby, talk
to that man!
24
00:01:53,042 --> 00:01:55,109
Man: Kirby, talk to him!
25
00:01:55,475 --> 00:01:56,308
Now, Mr. Kirk has come
26
00:01:56,341 --> 00:01:57,341
all the way down here
from Tallahassee,
27
00:01:57,375 --> 00:02:00,141
and I don't think we all
should be rude to the man.
28
00:02:00,175 --> 00:02:01,041
However, I do
think it's time
29
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:04,007
that, uh, Mr. Kirk and I
had a little chat.
30
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,240
How about some lunch?
31
00:02:05,274 --> 00:02:07,040
I have never liked
32
00:02:07,074 --> 00:02:08,706
dealing with the government.
33
00:02:08,739 --> 00:02:10,106
The only time
you hear from them
34
00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:12,439
is when they want to take
something from you
35
00:02:12,473 --> 00:02:13,506
or do something to you.
36
00:02:13,539 --> 00:02:16,372
But this here hotel of mine
has been the focal point
37
00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:18,405
of this town
since the Indians.
38
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:19,372
Of course,
some of the guests
39
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:22,404
seem to have been here
since the Indians, too.
40
00:02:22,437 --> 00:02:25,037
But we've been makin'
all kinds of improvements
41
00:02:25,071 --> 00:02:27,004
to attract
some new tourists--
42
00:02:27,037 --> 00:02:28,037
a younger crowd.
43
00:02:28,071 --> 00:02:31,003
And this man here is tryin'
to keep them tourists
44
00:02:31,036 --> 00:02:32,070
from gettin' here.
45
00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:33,602
Mornin', James.
46
00:02:35,036 --> 00:02:36,335
Kirk: Great lion. Hmm!
47
00:02:36,369 --> 00:02:37,969
Kirby: He's got
the runs right now,
48
00:02:38,002 --> 00:02:38,834
but by the time
we get our exit,
49
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,634
we expect him to be
stable and healthy.
50
00:02:41,668 --> 00:02:42,568
Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:42,601 --> 00:02:44,168
Anyway, we got 2 more
comin', plus a rhino.
52
00:02:45,068 --> 00:02:48,068
Kirk: Oh, my.
Now, there s an elephant.
53
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,034
Kirby: That's bubbles.
She's a genius.
54
00:02:50,068 --> 00:02:52,067
Won't make a whole
lot of difference
55
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,233
if no one
comes to see her.
56
00:02:53,267 --> 00:02:54,933
Well, it won't
take a genius
57
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,933
to get people here,
I don't think.
58
00:02:56,967 --> 00:02:57,666
That's right.
59
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,032
What it'll take
is an exit
60
00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:02,032
from your freeway.
How do we get it?
61
00:03:02,066 --> 00:03:04,265
You take 10,000 trips
under the table.
62
00:03:04,298 --> 00:03:05,998
That's how you do it.
63
00:03:06,031 --> 00:03:07,598
10,000--
64
00:03:10,297 --> 00:03:12,964
10,000 trips
under the table.
65
00:03:12,997 --> 00:03:17,296
Payable in cold, hard, green,
laundered you-know-what.
66
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:19,063
You want it?
67
00:03:22,029 --> 00:03:23,263
We want it.
68
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:43,960
73, 74, 75, $76.
69
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,358
Come and get your balloons!
70
00:03:55,391 --> 00:03:59,223
Ok, let me take your money.
Throw a pie and save ticlaw.
71
00:03:59,257 --> 00:04:00,457
Throw a pie and save tic--.
72
00:04:03,522 --> 00:04:04,990
Kirby: We have
a great turnout, honey.
73
00:04:05,023 --> 00:04:06,322
I think we're gonna make it.
74
00:04:06,356 --> 00:04:08,888
Woman: Oh, yes!
75
00:04:12,956 --> 00:04:15,955
All right!
Thank you!
76
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:17,454
Thank you!
77
00:04:17,487 --> 00:04:20,354
Woman: Oh, it's wonderful!
78
00:04:32,385 --> 00:04:36,418
Pancakes! Pancakes!
Get your pancakes!
79
00:05:23,545 --> 00:05:25,011
How much is that?
80
00:05:25,045 --> 00:05:26,211
$170!
81
00:05:26,245 --> 00:05:29,010
That makes it over--
that's 170.
82
00:05:29,044 --> 00:05:32,010
That's over
$10,000!
83
00:05:52,207 --> 00:05:54,540
That one there
is yours.
84
00:06:03,672 --> 00:06:06,372
Looks like you got
your exit, Mr. Calo.
85
00:06:06,405 --> 00:06:08,204
Yes, sir. We all
got what we wanted.
86
00:06:08,238 --> 00:06:09,404
God bless you, boy.
87
00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:10,371
Bye-bye.
88
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,038
Bye, now.
89
00:06:16,070 --> 00:06:18,903
Now, forget
you saw any of this.
90
00:06:18,937 --> 00:06:20,970
Man: Saw what, Mr. Kirk?
91
00:06:22,070 --> 00:06:23,402
Well, we all thought
92
00:06:23,436 --> 00:06:24,469
that was that.
93
00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:27,102
We had ourselves
a real victory
94
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,335
for our piddly-assed town.
95
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,401
Man over P.A.:
Andrew Jackson freeway!
96
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,300
Kirk, what the hell
is this?
97
00:06:35,334 --> 00:06:36,434
You promised US
an exit,
98
00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:37,900
and now this damn
freeway's open.
99
00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:39,967
The other 3 commissioners
voted no on ticlaw.
100
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,333
Now, I mean, who--
who would've guessed?
101
00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:42,366
I don't give
a fuck about
102
00:06:42,399 --> 00:06:43,499
the other
3 commissioners.
103
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,199
I gave you $10,000,
104
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:45,633
not the other
3 commissioners.
105
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:46,999
Now, you see
my people over there?
106
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:48,565
Kirby, that thing's
gotta come down.
107
00:06:48,598 --> 00:06:49,899
We got
plenty more signs
108
00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:50,865
where that one
come from.
109
00:06:50,899 --> 00:06:52,465
Now, we're gonna make
a big stink right here!
110
00:06:52,498 --> 00:06:53,132
Oh, no, you're not!
111
00:06:53,165 --> 00:06:54,898
I'm talkin'
to the governor.
112
00:06:54,932 --> 00:06:57,431
Governor! Governor!
113
00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:03,430
Well, what do you expect?
114
00:07:03,463 --> 00:07:07,930
You lie down with dogs,
you get up with fleas.
115
00:07:07,963 --> 00:07:08,662
But the point is,
116
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:11,995
you get up
and you do something.
117
00:07:12,029 --> 00:07:13,995
Now, I knew
at that very moment
118
00:07:14,029 --> 00:07:15,628
tourists from
all over america
119
00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:17,594
were headed toward Florida.
120
00:07:17,628 --> 00:07:20,994
And what we had to do
was to figure out
121
00:07:21,028 --> 00:07:24,293
how to get 'em into ticlaw.
122
00:07:30,027 --> 00:07:31,559
* the highway
stretches out *
123
00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:35,192
* just like a snake
across the land *
124
00:07:35,226 --> 00:07:38,158
* it tells a simple story
125
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,958
* that everyone
can understand *
126
00:07:39,991 --> 00:07:42,557
* leave your worries
all behind you *
127
00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:46,590
* there's a better
life ahead *
128
00:07:46,624 --> 00:07:49,057
* and the highway
gypsies follow *
129
00:07:49,090 --> 00:07:52,656
* every word
the highway says *
130
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,655
* it's a honky tonk freeway
131
00:07:55,688 --> 00:08:00,022
* it's america on wheels
132
00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:02,988
* motel rooms, neon lights
133
00:08:03,022 --> 00:08:05,354
* drive-in, drive-out meals
134
00:08:05,387 --> 00:08:08,887
* well, it's winding
cross the country *
135
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:12,186
* just as far
as you can see *
136
00:08:13,386 --> 00:08:15,286
* on the honky tonk freeway
137
00:08:16,953 --> 00:08:20,885
* it's where I wanna be
138
00:08:20,919 --> 00:08:21,552
come on, come on.
139
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:24,451
Move it,
move it, move it!
140
00:08:29,517 --> 00:08:33,017
Do we have to go
so fast, sister?
141
00:08:42,082 --> 00:08:44,515
Oh, sister,
we're going much too fast.
142
00:08:44,548 --> 00:08:46,648
Uh, we're only going
45 miles an hour.
143
00:08:46,681 --> 00:08:48,448
Yes, but that's
much too fast.
144
00:08:48,481 --> 00:08:49,248
Put on your brakes.
145
00:08:49,281 --> 00:08:50,115
Oh, sister,
if I put on my brakes--
146
00:08:50,148 --> 00:08:53,480
I am your superior.
Put on your brakes.
147
00:08:53,514 --> 00:08:56,380
Oh, shit!
148
00:09:06,478 --> 00:09:08,878
Oh.
That's better.
149
00:09:08,912 --> 00:09:10,978
* it's a honky tonk freeway
150
00:09:11,012 --> 00:09:15,644
* it's a paradise on wheels
151
00:09:15,677 --> 00:09:18,343
* motel rooms, neon lights
152
00:09:18,376 --> 00:09:21,310
* drive-in, drive-out meals
153
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:24,210
* well, it's winding
cross the country *
154
00:09:24,243 --> 00:09:28,475
* just as far
as you can see *
155
00:09:28,675 --> 00:09:32,541
* on the honky tonk freeway
156
00:09:32,574 --> 00:09:36,408
* that's where I wanna be
157
00:09:42,173 --> 00:09:44,173
I'm o.J.--
O.J. Simpson.
158
00:09:44,207 --> 00:09:46,272
Number 32
comin' through.
159
00:09:47,073 --> 00:09:48,206
I'm o.J. Simpson.
160
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,272
I gotta
get me a commercial
161
00:09:49,306 --> 00:09:50,638
and run
through airports.
162
00:09:52,471 --> 00:09:53,872
I'm o.J. Simpson.
163
00:09:53,906 --> 00:09:54,906
Greatest
football player
164
00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:55,938
that ever lived.
Look at that.
165
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:59,337
Straight arm.
I'm o.J. Simpson.
166
00:10:00,204 --> 00:10:01,337
Why did we
wear our uniforms?
167
00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:02,370
They'll know
it was US.
168
00:10:02,404 --> 00:10:04,904
They'll never suspect
it was real sanitation men.
169
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,870
They'll think
we stole the uniforms.
170
00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:08,870
Who would
steal the uniform
171
00:10:08,903 --> 00:10:10,003
of a sanitation man?
172
00:10:10,036 --> 00:10:12,003
Woman: Next!
People.
173
00:10:12,036 --> 00:10:14,368
Crazy people.
Look around you.
174
00:10:14,402 --> 00:10:15,135
You know,
they cut off
175
00:10:15,168 --> 00:10:17,102
my welfare checks,
and I was going
176
00:10:17,135 --> 00:10:18,435
to Israel
with that money.
177
00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:20,102
Here, boy.
178
00:10:20,135 --> 00:10:22,134
Man: I'm sorry.
I can't cash it for you.
179
00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:23,967
Woman:
It's a government check.
180
00:10:24,001 --> 00:10:24,934
It's a state check,
181
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:27,566
and you only have $8
in your checking account.
182
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,033
It's bank policy.
183
00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:32,532
Bank policy.
Bank policy.
184
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:36,132
Ooh, I didn't know that
cantaloupes was in season.
185
00:10:36,165 --> 00:10:38,232
Please, I don't
wanna get caught.
186
00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,399
Who's gonna catch US?
187
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,132
Bum: Ok!
188
00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:41,932
I hear that prison
is unpleasant.
189
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:43,898
It's crowded.
The food is no good.
190
00:10:43,931 --> 00:10:45,898
Nobody cares!
191
00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:47,297
Woman: Next!
192
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:50,397
I need this check cashed.
Please!
193
00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:51,897
Next!
194
00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:54,429
She scares me.
195
00:10:54,462 --> 00:10:55,629
I'll handle her.
196
00:10:55,662 --> 00:10:56,496
Woman 1: Talk to an officer.
197
00:10:56,529 --> 00:10:57,996
Woman 2: I already
talked to an officer.
198
00:10:58,029 --> 00:10:59,296
He said
he couldn't help me!
199
00:10:59,329 --> 00:11:01,196
Then I can't
help you either.
200
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,395
Excuse US.
201
00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:04,861
Checking or savings?
202
00:11:04,895 --> 00:11:05,528
Neither.
203
00:11:05,561 --> 00:11:06,161
Well, then
I can't help you.
204
00:11:06,195 --> 00:11:07,995
Go to the end
of the line.
205
00:11:08,028 --> 00:11:09,928
It's a robbery.
206
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,027
Oh, shit.
207
00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:13,960
I need this today.
208
00:11:13,994 --> 00:11:15,626
Shit this.
209
00:11:15,659 --> 00:11:16,993
And if you try
anything funny,
210
00:11:17,026 --> 00:11:19,393
I'll blow
your ugly head right off.
211
00:11:19,426 --> 00:11:20,592
Man: Eugene!
212
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:21,358
Would you shut up?
213
00:11:21,392 --> 00:11:22,292
I never seen you
become so abusive.
214
00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:25,058
I'm robbin' a bank.
I don't have to be nice.
215
00:11:25,092 --> 00:11:27,457
Mary, what do I do
when I'm being robbed?
216
00:11:27,491 --> 00:11:28,992
You give US the money.
217
00:11:29,025 --> 00:11:30,957
That's what you do,
beard-face.
218
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:31,823
Eugene!
219
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,124
Would you shut up
with that Eugene bit?
220
00:11:34,157 --> 00:11:36,091
You give 'em
the money. Next!
221
00:11:36,123 --> 00:11:37,623
You would give them
all your money,
222
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,956
and you won't cash
a government check?
223
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,589
Dear, they have a gun.
224
00:11:44,189 --> 00:11:47,422
Please! I talked
to an officer twice!
225
00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:48,621
What's the problem, miss?
226
00:11:48,654 --> 00:11:49,488
I don't know.
227
00:11:49,521 --> 00:11:50,288
Maybe you
can help me.
228
00:11:50,321 --> 00:11:51,888
I'm an actress,
I'm on unemployment,
229
00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:54,487
and they won't cash
my unemployment check.
230
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,287
You have
any identification?
231
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,153
W-Well, sure.
232
00:11:59,187 --> 00:12:01,819
Here's
my driver s license.
233
00:12:04,486 --> 00:12:06,952
All right.
I'll initial it.
234
00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:08,986
But just this once.
235
00:12:10,886 --> 00:12:12,551
That doesn't
mean anything.
236
00:12:12,585 --> 00:12:13,218
Eugene.
237
00:12:13,251 --> 00:12:16,951
Cash the check,
Turkey tits.
238
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,217
How would you
like that, ma'am?
239
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:22,084
In cash.
240
00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:27,983
Come on. Load it up,
miss piggy.
241
00:12:31,282 --> 00:12:34,948
Thank you so much.
242
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,181
I find you
enormously attractive.
243
00:12:39,214 --> 00:12:41,147
How would you like
to accompany US
244
00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:42,947
to the sunny
state of Florida?
245
00:12:42,981 --> 00:12:44,413
Oh, gee,
I'd really love to,
246
00:12:44,446 --> 00:12:45,946
but I have
an audition.
247
00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:47,580
Then sit
on my face, bitch.
248
00:12:47,613 --> 00:12:50,279
Greatest football player
that ever lived!
249
00:13:10,409 --> 00:13:11,609
Act like you're
a garbage man.
250
00:13:11,642 --> 00:13:13,976
You better become
a garbage man.
251
00:13:19,641 --> 00:13:20,975
I'm o.J. Simpson!
252
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:22,875
There he is!
I'm o.J.!
253
00:13:22,908 --> 00:13:24,307
Ok, grab him.
254
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,174
Hey! Hey!
255
00:13:30,573 --> 00:13:32,940
No! There was 2 of them!
They went out the door!
256
00:13:32,974 --> 00:13:34,206
That is not
the right guy!
257
00:13:34,239 --> 00:13:34,906
That's not him!
258
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,273
This is a lousy
neighborhood.
259
00:13:37,306 --> 00:13:38,973
I look
like shit.
260
00:13:39,006 --> 00:13:40,905
It don't
feel good.
261
00:13:40,938 --> 00:13:41,905
I look
like shit.
262
00:13:41,938 --> 00:13:42,637
Of course
you look like shit.
263
00:13:42,671 --> 00:13:44,138
You're dressed
in a dirty sheet.
264
00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:45,972
Ever see yourself,
you son of a bitch?
265
00:13:46,005 --> 00:13:48,871
You ugly bastard!
Look in the mirror!
266
00:13:49,471 --> 00:13:51,603
I got an idea.
267
00:13:51,636 --> 00:13:53,570
Get some bags.
268
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:56,236
Get on the truck.
269
00:14:02,169 --> 00:14:04,169
We made it!
We did it!
270
00:14:04,202 --> 00:14:06,835
All right!
All right!
271
00:14:06,869 --> 00:14:07,601
We did it!
272
00:14:07,634 --> 00:14:09,368
All right!
All right!
273
00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:12,600
Oh, baby!
274
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:14,000
What a job!
275
00:14:15,633 --> 00:14:17,532
Oh! Oh!
276
00:14:24,099 --> 00:14:24,765
Is that
the right bag?
277
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,132
Of course
it's the right bag.
278
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,965
Are you sure
that's the right bag?
279
00:14:27,998 --> 00:14:29,965
I'm positive!
280
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:37,729
Eugene!
281
00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:38,997
You son
of a bitch!
282
00:14:39,030 --> 00:14:39,930
It's all right!
283
00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:40,663
What's gonna
be all right?
284
00:14:40,696 --> 00:14:43,896
An empty fuckin'
can of garbage!
285
00:14:54,062 --> 00:14:56,261
Yes! The money!
286
00:15:10,925 --> 00:15:13,391
We're rich!
We're rich!
287
00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:16,258
* my mommy's
pouring cheerios
288
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,224
* hurrah
289
00:15:17,258 --> 00:15:18,058
* hurrah
290
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,824
* she's pouring on
the oats for US *
291
00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:21,590
* hurrah, hurrah
292
00:15:30,189 --> 00:15:32,555
Ok. Whee!
293
00:15:32,588 --> 00:15:35,521
"Ricky,
the carnivorous pony,
294
00:15:35,555 --> 00:15:36,588
by Duane Hansen."
295
00:15:36,621 --> 00:15:37,888
Duane Hansen.
296
00:15:37,921 --> 00:15:40,487
"Once upon a time
in a faraway land,
297
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,420
"there was
this pony,
298
00:15:41,454 --> 00:15:43,020
and his name
was Ricky."
299
00:15:43,054 --> 00:15:45,854
Get to
the "munch, munch" part!
300
00:15:45,887 --> 00:15:46,920
Oh, it's coming.
301
00:15:46,954 --> 00:15:47,719
It's coming.
302
00:15:47,753 --> 00:15:48,887
"None of the children
could ride him
303
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,386
no matter how hard
they tried."
304
00:15:50,419 --> 00:15:51,519
Come on,
boys, eat.
305
00:15:51,553 --> 00:15:52,319
Yeah, why not?
306
00:15:52,353 --> 00:15:53,518
"Because when
a child
307
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:56,585
reached his hand
up to Ricky,"
308
00:15:56,618 --> 00:15:57,885
aah!
309
00:15:57,918 --> 00:15:59,052
"Munch, munch.
310
00:15:59,085 --> 00:16:02,317
"Went Ricky's powerful,
flat, yellow teeth.
311
00:16:02,351 --> 00:16:04,917
"And crunch, crunch,
312
00:16:04,951 --> 00:16:05,716
"crunch. Mmm...
313
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:08,051
"That little boy
was entirely devoid
314
00:16:08,084 --> 00:16:09,550
"of fingers.
315
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:10,383
Whee!"
316
00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:11,450
The bus is here.
317
00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:12,983
"Whee! Whee!
318
00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:16,816
And the blood ran
across his blue lips."
319
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,949
Duane,
the bus is here.
320
00:16:18,982 --> 00:16:20,082
Come on, guys.
The bus is here.
321
00:16:20,115 --> 00:16:21,915
Let's go.
322
00:16:21,949 --> 00:16:23,481
Whee!
Whee!
323
00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:24,314
Whee! Whee! Whee!
324
00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:25,948
Woman on TV:
It's a great pleasure now
325
00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:27,014
to introduce my next guest,
326
00:16:27,048 --> 00:16:29,848
Barbara Reese,
formerly Bob Reese.
327
00:16:29,881 --> 00:16:32,113
A woman who underwent
a sex change--
328
00:16:32,147 --> 00:16:33,213
a sex operation.
329
00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:34,579
Um, mittens, boys.
330
00:16:34,612 --> 00:16:35,446
Welcome, Barbara.
331
00:16:35,479 --> 00:16:36,346
Barbara, man's voice:
Thank you, Kelly.
332
00:16:36,379 --> 00:16:39,046
How did your wife
first react to the news
333
00:16:39,079 --> 00:16:39,979
when you went to her
334
00:16:40,012 --> 00:16:43,145
and you said to her,
"I want to be a woman"?
335
00:16:43,178 --> 00:16:45,311
Well, she was
not at all pleased.
336
00:16:47,311 --> 00:16:48,444
Daddy!
337
00:16:48,477 --> 00:16:50,144
Denny!
338
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,177
Munch, munch!
339
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,109
Be good while I'm away.
340
00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,909
Kelly on TV: When did you
first decide, Barbara,
341
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:02,076
that you wanted to be
a woman, not a man?
342
00:17:02,109 --> 00:17:03,876
Barbara: Well, actually,
I first decided
343
00:17:03,909 --> 00:17:04,809
when I was a soldier
344
00:17:04,843 --> 00:17:06,208
during the Vietnam war.
345
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,275
Jimmy dropped his cap.
346
00:17:07,308 --> 00:17:09,474
Barbara: I believe it was
during the tet offensive.
347
00:17:09,507 --> 00:17:11,441
Oh, they left
their mittens.
348
00:17:11,474 --> 00:17:13,874
Yes, Duane.
349
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,440
Kelly: Well, did you
manage to keep your same job?
350
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:20,106
Barbara: I did get
my old job back, yes.
351
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,806
I do the same work
that I always did,
352
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:23,840
the only
difference being
353
00:17:23,873 --> 00:17:26,039
that I get paid
less for it now.
354
00:17:26,072 --> 00:17:27,305
Is something
burning?
355
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:28,571
Kelly: You have 2 children.
356
00:17:28,604 --> 00:17:30,072
It's your book.
357
00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:31,171
Duane: My book?
358
00:17:31,204 --> 00:17:32,805
By your longtime marriage.
359
00:17:32,839 --> 00:17:35,838
How do they react
to the fact that you're--
360
00:17:35,871 --> 00:17:37,337
Mrs. Hansen: No parent
in their right mind
361
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:38,337
would buy a book
for their child
362
00:17:38,370 --> 00:17:41,103
called Ricky,
the carnivorous pony.
363
00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:43,137
Your stories
are sick, Duane.
364
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:44,569
My stories
are funny, char.
365
00:17:44,602 --> 00:17:46,402
I don't find them funny.
366
00:17:46,436 --> 00:17:48,202
And I don't
find you funny.
367
00:17:48,236 --> 00:17:49,936
Barbara: See, they think
that their father
368
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,335
is away on a job, and--
369
00:17:51,368 --> 00:17:53,501
Kelly: But what
do they call you?
370
00:17:53,535 --> 00:17:55,035
Auntie.
371
00:18:03,934 --> 00:18:04,633
* well, my man
372
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,999
* he ain't
man enough for me *
373
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:08,833
* no, my man
374
00:18:08,866 --> 00:18:11,933
* ain't enough
for a girl like me *
375
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:14,265
* well, he just don't know
376
00:18:14,298 --> 00:18:15,865
* how to treat me right
377
00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:20,864
* oh, I can't go through
another lonely night *
378
00:18:20,897 --> 00:18:25,097
* he comes home
from work each evening *
379
00:18:25,131 --> 00:18:26,797
* grabs a beer
380
00:18:26,831 --> 00:18:28,530
* and watches TV
381
00:18:28,563 --> 00:18:33,896
* I sweat and slave
to make his frozen dinners *
382
00:18:35,129 --> 00:18:38,795
* but he just sits
and lets his supper be *
383
00:18:38,829 --> 00:18:39,561
* oh, my man
384
00:18:39,594 --> 00:18:42,261
* he ain't
man enough for me *
385
00:18:42,294 --> 00:18:43,894
* no, my man
386
00:18:43,928 --> 00:18:46,560
* ain't enough
for a girl like me *
387
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,093
* he just don't know
388
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:51,293
* how to treat me right
389
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:41,185
Ok, I'm ready down here.
390
00:19:41,219 --> 00:19:42,452
Let's go!
391
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:45,119
All right,
let 'er rip!
392
00:19:45,152 --> 00:19:46,219
Go ahead, bubbles.
393
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:49,251
Are you sure
about this?
394
00:19:49,284 --> 00:19:50,151
Let her go!
395
00:19:50,184 --> 00:19:53,417
I'm telling you,
people will drive 35 miles
396
00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:55,450
just to see
a water-skiing elephant.
397
00:19:55,483 --> 00:19:57,850
All right, hang on!
Come on!
398
00:19:57,883 --> 00:20:00,749
No, stop!
399
00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:05,482
Oh, lord!
400
00:20:06,282 --> 00:20:08,515
Woman: Oh, my stars,
you're all wet!
401
00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:09,548
I know that, honey.
402
00:20:09,581 --> 00:20:10,915
Well, did bubbles get up?
403
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,848
Bubbles is not
applying herself today.
404
00:20:12,881 --> 00:20:13,514
Did you get
them in Utah?
405
00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:14,781
It's ringing.
It's ringing.
406
00:20:14,815 --> 00:20:16,781
Oh, let's get
you dried off.
407
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:19,247
Woman: Morning, Mr. Calo.
408
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,079
Having a nice vacation,
are you, miss barbutti?
409
00:20:22,113 --> 00:20:24,113
It goes by too quickly.
410
00:20:24,146 --> 00:20:26,046
Yes, it d--
hello!
411
00:20:26,079 --> 00:20:29,145
Yes, I'd like to speak
to Mr. Damon Clark,
412
00:20:29,178 --> 00:20:30,512
right now if--
413
00:20:30,545 --> 00:20:31,778
woman: Mr. Calo?
414
00:20:31,812 --> 00:20:32,677
Yes, Mrs. Lewenowski?
415
00:20:32,711 --> 00:20:34,812
There aren't any more
reservations today.
416
00:20:34,845 --> 00:20:39,044
Should I let
some of the girls go?
417
00:20:39,844 --> 00:20:40,877
No, no. Uh--
418
00:20:40,911 --> 00:20:42,811
stand by your stations.
419
00:20:42,844 --> 00:20:45,010
Someone'll show up.
420
00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:48,843
Hello, this is
safari parks, Utah?
421
00:20:49,475 --> 00:20:50,909
Listen, son,
are the lions
422
00:20:50,942 --> 00:20:52,542
and the rhino
on their way?
423
00:20:52,575 --> 00:20:54,275
They're on the truck?
424
00:20:54,309 --> 00:20:56,241
You sure now?
425
00:20:56,274 --> 00:20:56,909
Good.
426
00:20:56,942 --> 00:20:58,108
Say, tell me
something, son.
427
00:20:58,141 --> 00:20:59,474
We're gonna have
to keep that rhino
428
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,473
in the garage
for a couple of weeks.
429
00:21:01,507 --> 00:21:03,473
Will that be ok?
430
00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:07,439
Aw, shit.
431
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:16,039
Get him up the other way!
Get him up the other--
432
00:21:16,072 --> 00:21:17,938
get him--get him up
to the other end!
433
00:21:17,971 --> 00:21:19,971
Now don't be afraid of him!
434
00:21:20,005 --> 00:21:22,838
* when you're out
there on the road *
435
00:21:22,871 --> 00:21:26,770
* and you feel
you could explode *
436
00:21:26,804 --> 00:21:27,536
* and you
437
00:21:31,969 --> 00:21:34,803
* when you're out
there on the road *
438
00:21:35,702 --> 00:21:36,602
* and your truck's
become your home *
439
00:21:36,635 --> 00:21:40,868
you're holding back,
you're feeling--dreams.
440
00:21:40,902 --> 00:21:42,768
Dreams.
441
00:21:45,134 --> 00:21:46,367
We're almost ready.
442
00:21:46,401 --> 00:21:47,101
Mm-hmm.
443
00:21:47,134 --> 00:21:48,367
Just a few more seconds,
I think.
444
00:21:48,401 --> 00:21:49,034
Mm-hmm.
445
00:21:49,067 --> 00:21:51,066
He's very close
to the ramp.
446
00:22:02,431 --> 00:22:05,298
It's the damnedest thing.
447
00:22:05,331 --> 00:22:07,264
He likes the snow.
448
00:22:09,563 --> 00:22:13,463
Hey, tell me
if you like this, ok?
449
00:22:15,529 --> 00:22:18,797
* when you're out
there on your own *
450
00:22:18,830 --> 00:22:20,829
* doo, doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo, doo *
451
00:22:20,862 --> 00:22:22,862
* and you're
holding back your-- *
452
00:22:22,896 --> 00:22:26,061
* doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo *
453
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,128
you like
that one?
454
00:22:27,161 --> 00:22:28,461
Yeah, it's ok.
455
00:22:28,495 --> 00:22:30,795
Uh, the words
aren't too good.
456
00:22:30,828 --> 00:22:31,527
Oh, these ain't
the words.
457
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,960
I put the words
in later.
458
00:22:33,994 --> 00:22:36,160
Oh. Then it's very good.
459
00:22:36,194 --> 00:22:37,794
I mean, for a song
without words
460
00:22:37,827 --> 00:22:38,960
written by
a truck driver,
461
00:22:38,993 --> 00:22:39,893
it's excellent.
462
00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:42,059
Hey, I'm not
a truck driver.
463
00:22:42,093 --> 00:22:44,425
I'm a songwriter.
464
00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:47,825
Uh, it's ok.
465
00:22:53,091 --> 00:22:55,957
Man: Yee-hoo! Whoo!
466
00:22:55,991 --> 00:22:56,924
Rhino's loaded!
467
00:22:56,957 --> 00:22:58,824
The rhino's loaded?
468
00:22:58,857 --> 00:22:59,757
* da, da, da
469
00:22:59,791 --> 00:23:01,856
* the rhino's loaded
470
00:23:01,890 --> 00:23:04,790
* the rhino's loaded
471
00:23:04,823 --> 00:23:05,790
* and he's holdin'
472
00:23:05,823 --> 00:23:07,455
* back his feelings
473
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,321
Keep on singin'!
474
00:23:14,188 --> 00:23:16,821
* everybody's goin'
faster, faster *
475
00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:20,453
* everybody's goin'
faster, faster *
476
00:23:20,487 --> 00:23:22,820
* doo, doo, doo
477
00:23:35,218 --> 00:23:37,418
Man on speaker:
Oh, hey, Carmen!
478
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,151
Hey.
479
00:23:41,284 --> 00:23:42,284
Man: Are you, uh, gonna
480
00:23:42,317 --> 00:23:44,449
be at Oliver's tap
again tonight?
481
00:23:44,483 --> 00:23:46,483
Oh, I don't know.
482
00:23:47,349 --> 00:23:48,783
I'm on vacation.
483
00:23:48,816 --> 00:23:52,282
Oh! Good for you!
484
00:23:52,315 --> 00:23:53,816
Shoot, I wanted
to take you out.
485
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:54,482
I got a new car.
486
00:23:54,515 --> 00:23:55,882
This sure
is a lot of money
487
00:23:55,915 --> 00:23:57,348
you're pullin' out,
Carmen.
488
00:23:57,382 --> 00:23:59,215
300, 400, 500.
489
00:23:59,247 --> 00:24:01,247
Hey, you ought to see
the inside of my car.
490
00:24:01,281 --> 00:24:05,247
It's all tufted
in velour, you know.
491
00:24:05,281 --> 00:24:07,947
Thousand,
thousand five hundred,
492
00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,080
two thousand five,
493
00:24:09,113 --> 00:24:10,413
three thousand
five hundred.
494
00:24:10,446 --> 00:24:13,180
Well, that just about
closes you out, Carmen.
495
00:24:13,212 --> 00:24:15,746
You better be careful
with all that.
496
00:24:15,780 --> 00:24:16,779
Oh, I will.
497
00:24:16,812 --> 00:24:18,412
Have a good vacation.
498
00:24:33,843 --> 00:24:37,042
Man over speaker:
Yes, may we help you?
499
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:39,876
Lolita Shelby, please.
500
00:24:39,909 --> 00:24:41,776
The final remains
of lolita Shelby
501
00:24:41,809 --> 00:24:44,841
may be viewed in
pass-through number three.
502
00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:46,941
Hey, is that you,
Danny Corbin?
503
00:24:46,975 --> 00:24:48,974
Yes. Yes, it is.
Who is this?
504
00:24:49,007 --> 00:24:52,307
It's Carmen Odessa Shelby.
Remember me?
505
00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:54,140
Carmen Shelby? Sure.
506
00:24:54,174 --> 00:24:55,840
I remember
you and me
507
00:24:55,874 --> 00:24:57,006
in the back seat
of my car. We--
508
00:24:57,039 --> 00:25:02,839
oh, I-I m sorry about
your mama. Real sorry.
509
00:25:03,205 --> 00:25:05,805
Um, where did you say
she was again?
510
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:07,005
Pass-through
number three.
511
00:25:07,038 --> 00:25:09,037
Would you like to take
your mama with you
512
00:25:09,071 --> 00:25:10,071
or have her sent?
513
00:25:10,104 --> 00:25:11,737
I'll take her.
514
00:26:07,963 --> 00:26:10,328
* the road
is like a river *
515
00:26:10,362 --> 00:26:12,295
* and it keeps me
movin' on *
516
00:26:12,328 --> 00:26:15,327
* just another
nameless driver *
517
00:26:15,361 --> 00:26:18,094
* in a rollin marathon
518
00:26:18,127 --> 00:26:20,727
* leave your worries
all behind you *
519
00:26:20,761 --> 00:26:24,426
* there's
a better life ahead *
520
00:26:24,460 --> 00:26:27,226
* and the highway
gypsies follow *
521
00:26:27,260 --> 00:26:31,359
* every word
the highway says *
522
00:26:31,392 --> 00:26:33,925
* it's a honky tonk
freeway *
523
00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:37,491
* it's america on wheels
524
00:26:37,524 --> 00:26:40,824
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
525
00:26:40,858 --> 00:26:42,357
* drive in,
drive-out meals *
526
00:26:43,523 --> 00:26:46,257
* and it's winding
cross the country *
527
00:26:47,323 --> 00:26:51,122
* just as far
as you can see *
528
00:26:53,289 --> 00:26:56,421
hey, what time is it?
529
00:26:56,455 --> 00:26:58,188
3:30.
530
00:26:58,221 --> 00:27:02,055
You know,
you're very cute.
531
00:27:02,921 --> 00:27:04,021
Oh.
532
00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:07,887
You're both
very cute. Bye.
533
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,854
* it's a honky tonk
freeway *
534
00:27:10,887 --> 00:27:14,953
* it's paradise on wheels
535
00:27:14,986 --> 00:27:17,485
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
536
00:27:17,518 --> 00:27:21,018
* drive in,
drive-out meals *
537
00:27:21,052 --> 00:27:23,484
* and it's winding
cross the country *
538
00:27:23,517 --> 00:27:27,117
* just as far
as you can see *
539
00:27:27,151 --> 00:27:30,751
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
540
00:27:30,784 --> 00:27:37,816
* that's where
I wanna be *
541
00:27:48,114 --> 00:27:50,380
Woody.
542
00:27:52,313 --> 00:27:54,714
Sherm, wait for me.
543
00:27:54,747 --> 00:27:55,612
Carol.
544
00:27:55,646 --> 00:27:57,913
Your nose is powdered,
your lipstick's on,
545
00:27:57,947 --> 00:27:59,346
your hair is combed.
You look fine.
546
00:27:59,379 --> 00:28:01,779
Come on.
Let's have lunch.
547
00:28:01,812 --> 00:28:03,912
Sherm, I'm not drunk.
548
00:28:06,445 --> 00:28:09,078
Oh, god!
549
00:28:10,311 --> 00:28:12,410
It's just
a little accident.
550
00:28:12,444 --> 00:28:15,277
It's just
a little accident.
551
00:28:18,443 --> 00:28:20,744
Do you have to
booze it up, Carol?
552
00:28:20,777 --> 00:28:22,776
A mixed drink
is not booze, sherman.
553
00:28:22,809 --> 00:28:25,209
It's a cocktail.
A before-dinner drink.
554
00:28:25,243 --> 00:28:27,142
But dinner isn't
for 5 hours yet.
555
00:28:27,175 --> 00:28:29,708
Ah, yes. But what
you're forgetting, sherm,
556
00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:31,008
is that time
is relative.
557
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,842
To what, Carol? Life?
558
00:28:32,875 --> 00:28:33,808
No, sherm. Need.
559
00:28:33,842 --> 00:28:38,041
Time is relative to need.
Einstein was wrong.
560
00:28:38,741 --> 00:28:41,073
Terrific car.
Look at that.
561
00:28:41,106 --> 00:28:43,240
Hey, uh,
and terrific stuff, too.
562
00:28:43,273 --> 00:28:45,073
Let's take the car
and the stuff.
563
00:28:45,106 --> 00:28:45,806
Nope, that's wrong.
564
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,840
We're not gonna take
their stuff.
565
00:28:47,873 --> 00:28:49,272
What, are you crazy?
566
00:28:49,305 --> 00:28:50,105
Nope.
567
00:28:50,139 --> 00:28:51,172
Come on.
Nope.
568
00:28:51,205 --> 00:28:53,072
You've gotta
be nuts.
569
00:28:53,105 --> 00:28:55,739
Will you try it
for a few weeks?
570
00:28:55,772 --> 00:28:57,804
Sherm,
I'm not an alcoholic.
571
00:28:57,838 --> 00:28:59,904
Your mother
was an alcoholic.
572
00:28:59,938 --> 00:29:01,470
Where did she
do her drinking?
573
00:29:01,503 --> 00:29:02,370
Alone.
574
00:29:02,403 --> 00:29:04,170
You see?
Now, am I alone?
575
00:29:04,203 --> 00:29:07,103
And did she hide her bottle
in the rice krispies
576
00:29:07,136 --> 00:29:09,336
and the laundry hamper
and shoe box?
577
00:29:09,369 --> 00:29:10,236
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
578
00:29:10,269 --> 00:29:12,802
Now, these are symptoms
of the alcoholic.
579
00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:13,802
Classic symptoms.
580
00:29:13,836 --> 00:29:16,135
Do I have
any of these symptoms?
581
00:29:16,168 --> 00:29:18,235
No, you don't.
Thank you.
582
00:29:18,268 --> 00:29:19,768
Can I get you
anything to drink?
583
00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:22,934
I'll have
5 old-fashioneds.
584
00:29:24,334 --> 00:29:25,800
Coke for me.
585
00:29:25,834 --> 00:29:28,133
Do you realize, sherman,
I have never purchased
586
00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:30,799
a bottle of liquor
in my life?
587
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:31,499
Oh, I know that.
588
00:29:31,533 --> 00:29:32,432
So how could I be
an alcoholic
589
00:29:32,465 --> 00:29:35,699
if I've never purchased
a bottle of liquor?
590
00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:36,798
Carol, you're having
591
00:29:36,832 --> 00:29:39,165
5 old-fashioneds
for lunch.
592
00:29:39,198 --> 00:29:40,098
That is an alcoholic.
593
00:29:40,132 --> 00:29:42,832
I'm hungry. Besides,
these are mixed drinks.
594
00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:44,897
Do you know
an alcoholic anywhere
595
00:29:44,931 --> 00:29:48,031
who only drinks
mixed drinks?
596
00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:51,463
The other four
will be here right away.
597
00:29:51,496 --> 00:29:53,362
No hurry.
598
00:29:53,763 --> 00:29:56,095
This place
is so cute.
599
00:29:56,129 --> 00:29:57,696
Cheers.
600
00:29:57,729 --> 00:29:59,695
Cheers.
601
00:30:01,829 --> 00:30:06,761
Didn't your ad agency
name the swizzle stick, sherm?
602
00:30:06,794 --> 00:30:07,393
No.
603
00:30:07,427 --> 00:30:08,460
Weaver, O'Leary
and mudge
604
00:30:08,493 --> 00:30:11,427
named the swizzle stick
in 1924.
605
00:30:11,460 --> 00:30:13,960
You notice how I never
suck my orange slice?
606
00:30:13,993 --> 00:30:15,860
That's the sure sign
of an alcoholic.
607
00:30:15,893 --> 00:30:19,759
Just go to one meeting,
Carol. Try it. Please.
608
00:30:19,792 --> 00:30:21,159
No.
609
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:29,424
Someone is stealing
our car, sherm.
610
00:30:29,457 --> 00:30:31,824
What? You're already
mumbling, Carol.
611
00:30:31,857 --> 00:30:33,424
It's only 1:30,
and you're mumbling.
612
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:36,123
Why would they steal the car
and leave the luggage?
613
00:30:36,156 --> 00:30:37,356
Just try it
for a few weeks.
614
00:30:37,389 --> 00:30:38,823
Well, it looks
like our car.
615
00:30:38,856 --> 00:30:39,556
Carol, if you pass out
616
00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:41,422
with your head
against the window
617
00:30:41,455 --> 00:30:42,322
while I'm driving,
618
00:30:42,355 --> 00:30:44,288
I'm just gonna pull over
onto the shoulder.
619
00:30:44,322 --> 00:30:45,055
I swear it.
620
00:30:45,088 --> 00:30:46,822
It's too lonely
driving like that.
621
00:30:46,855 --> 00:30:49,755
Sherm, will you
please look--
622
00:30:50,487 --> 00:30:53,187
oh, look it here.
623
00:31:15,284 --> 00:31:18,350
Honey, could you pour me
another cup of coffee?
624
00:31:18,383 --> 00:31:20,817
Caffeine.
625
00:31:20,850 --> 00:31:22,750
Caffeine.
626
00:31:25,449 --> 00:31:29,216
Isn't this beautiful?
627
00:31:29,249 --> 00:31:29,916
Mm-hmm.
628
00:31:29,949 --> 00:31:32,115
This is
monument valley, kids.
629
00:31:32,148 --> 00:31:36,848
Delia, little Billy,
look at monument valley.
630
00:31:36,881 --> 00:31:38,380
I'm a doctor,
I know that--
631
00:31:38,414 --> 00:31:41,714
kids, you know,
this is where our forefathers
632
00:31:41,747 --> 00:31:43,413
carved their way
through the wilderness
633
00:31:43,446 --> 00:31:46,346
all by themselves.
634
00:31:46,379 --> 00:31:48,779
Mommy,
I have to go potty.
635
00:31:48,813 --> 00:31:50,445
Oh, crud. Euphemisms.
636
00:31:50,478 --> 00:31:51,178
We're looking for a place.
637
00:31:51,212 --> 00:31:52,679
We're gonna
stop soon, pumpkin.
638
00:31:52,713 --> 00:31:54,012
Mr. Kramer: We are
not going to stop
639
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,278
until we are
in new Mexico.
640
00:31:55,312 --> 00:31:56,978
Little Billy,
you can use
641
00:31:57,012 --> 00:31:57,978
the r.V. Bathroom.
642
00:31:58,012 --> 00:32:00,844
He does not like to use
the bathroom in the r.V.
643
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:03,811
But hurry, mommy.
I have to go tinkle.
644
00:32:03,844 --> 00:32:05,276
Mrs. Kramer:
He has to go tinkle.
645
00:32:05,310 --> 00:32:08,210
Crud. Why can't you just
call it what it is?
646
00:32:08,243 --> 00:32:08,810
Delia.
647
00:32:08,843 --> 00:32:10,676
Say, "I have
to urinate."
648
00:32:10,710 --> 00:32:11,743
Delia.
649
00:32:11,776 --> 00:32:13,075
Say, "I have to piss."
650
00:32:13,109 --> 00:32:15,442
Say, "I have to let go
with the yellow flow."
651
00:32:15,475 --> 00:32:16,809
Delia! Put that down.
652
00:32:16,842 --> 00:32:17,574
Little Billy,
653
00:32:17,608 --> 00:32:18,574
now, you can use
the r.V. Bathroom.
654
00:32:18,608 --> 00:32:22,074
It's got one. That's why
we bought the n-25 unit.
655
00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:25,440
Just go back there
and use it like a man.
656
00:32:25,473 --> 00:32:26,674
No!
657
00:32:26,708 --> 00:32:28,040
He doesn't like
the r.V. Bathroom.
658
00:32:28,073 --> 00:32:29,673
He likes to pee
in gas stations.
659
00:32:29,707 --> 00:32:30,940
He's a freak!
660
00:32:30,973 --> 00:32:32,206
It's just a phase.
661
00:32:32,239 --> 00:32:34,006
Do you know how many
root canals I did
662
00:32:34,039 --> 00:32:36,139
to pay for this
damn thing?
663
00:32:36,172 --> 00:32:37,006
96.
664
00:32:37,039 --> 00:32:38,972
I bought it so we could
all be together.
665
00:32:39,006 --> 00:32:41,438
So far,
nobody's eaten in it,
666
00:32:41,471 --> 00:32:42,971
nobody's slept in it,
667
00:32:43,005 --> 00:32:44,805
so he can damn well
pee in it!
668
00:32:44,838 --> 00:32:45,637
You know something?
669
00:32:45,671 --> 00:32:47,837
I've just about had it
with all of you.
670
00:32:47,870 --> 00:32:49,670
Next summer,
they can go off
671
00:32:49,704 --> 00:32:50,503
to summer camp,
and you and i--
672
00:32:50,536 --> 00:32:52,203
ok, ok. You can go
where you wanna go,
673
00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:53,203
and I will go
somewhere else.
674
00:32:53,236 --> 00:32:55,369
Kirby: Now, a number
of you people
675
00:32:55,403 --> 00:32:56,669
have been comin' up to me
676
00:32:56,703 --> 00:32:59,069
and sayin' that
this town is failing.
677
00:32:59,103 --> 00:33:02,168
But I think god
wants US to be successful.
678
00:33:02,202 --> 00:33:03,668
Hallelujah!
679
00:33:03,702 --> 00:33:04,802
All:
Hallelujah!
680
00:33:04,835 --> 00:33:06,334
Hallelujah for ticlaw!
681
00:33:06,367 --> 00:33:08,668
All: Hallelujah for ticlaw!
682
00:33:08,702 --> 00:33:10,967
But he's testing you.
683
00:33:11,001 --> 00:33:13,867
Yes, he is.
The lord said,
684
00:33:13,901 --> 00:33:14,833
"what you give unto me,
685
00:33:14,866 --> 00:33:18,133
I will return
onto you tenfold."
686
00:33:18,166 --> 00:33:19,199
Well, one
of our brothers
687
00:33:19,232 --> 00:33:20,700
sittin' right here
amongst US
688
00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:23,765
on his income tax
only reported fivefold.
689
00:33:23,799 --> 00:33:25,699
And the government
didn't like that.
690
00:33:26,464 --> 00:33:29,064
But he had faith,
a loving wife
691
00:33:29,098 --> 00:33:30,664
and a great accountant.
692
00:33:30,698 --> 00:33:32,198
Praise god
for our brother!
693
00:33:32,231 --> 00:33:33,731
All: Praise god!
694
00:33:33,764 --> 00:33:36,397
We are all, each
and every one of US,
695
00:33:36,430 --> 00:33:37,897
being tested.
696
00:33:37,930 --> 00:33:39,329
Now, one of
the loveliest creatures
697
00:33:39,362 --> 00:33:41,663
in our congregation
came to me and she said,
698
00:33:41,697 --> 00:33:44,129
"reverend, I am
hooked on valium."
699
00:33:44,162 --> 00:33:45,662
Yes, she did!
700
00:33:46,561 --> 00:33:47,328
"I cannot even go
to the 7-Eleven store
701
00:33:47,361 --> 00:33:50,361
without taking
3 valiums," she said.
702
00:33:50,395 --> 00:33:52,195
"I am afraid--"
she said,
703
00:33:52,228 --> 00:33:53,427
"I am afraid
that one night
704
00:33:53,460 --> 00:33:55,294
"while I am
serving dinner,
705
00:33:55,327 --> 00:33:56,427
"I will trip and fall
706
00:33:56,460 --> 00:33:58,427
"into the shag carpet
and disappear,
707
00:33:58,459 --> 00:34:01,059
never to come up again."
708
00:34:01,093 --> 00:34:02,893
I said,
"woman, you get up!"
709
00:34:02,926 --> 00:34:05,826
And she did get up,
found faith,
710
00:34:05,859 --> 00:34:07,392
and she found god!
711
00:34:09,225 --> 00:34:11,225
And she threw away
her valium.
712
00:34:11,258 --> 00:34:12,258
Yes, she did.
713
00:34:12,292 --> 00:34:15,157
We are all being tested,
each and every one of US.
714
00:34:15,191 --> 00:34:17,657
The lord said to me,
715
00:34:17,691 --> 00:34:19,691
"build a safari park
in ticlaw."
716
00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:20,657
Then they came along
717
00:34:20,691 --> 00:34:23,790
and built their superhighway
right next to US.
718
00:34:24,622 --> 00:34:26,790
He didn't say nothin'
about no exit.
719
00:34:26,823 --> 00:34:28,723
But that is our test--
720
00:34:28,756 --> 00:34:31,422
how to get them here
with no exit.
721
00:34:31,455 --> 00:34:34,321
So we're gonna try
everything and anything,
722
00:34:34,354 --> 00:34:35,655
and I mean anything,
723
00:34:35,689 --> 00:34:37,921
and we are gonna rise up
to this challenge.
724
00:34:37,954 --> 00:34:38,954
Yes, we are.
725
00:34:38,988 --> 00:34:41,754
We are gonna soar like
eagles if we stick together.
726
00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:45,153
If we stand up
and sing together,
727
00:34:45,187 --> 00:34:47,720
because we got faith!
728
00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:50,653
* oh, ticlaw, ticlaw
729
00:34:50,687 --> 00:34:54,086
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
730
00:34:54,119 --> 00:34:56,218
* ticlaw, ticlaw
731
00:34:56,251 --> 00:34:59,385
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
732
00:34:59,418 --> 00:35:01,918
* oh, ticlaw, ticlaw
733
00:35:01,951 --> 00:35:05,684
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
734
00:35:05,717 --> 00:35:07,950
* ticlaw, ticlaw
735
00:35:07,984 --> 00:35:11,049
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
736
00:35:11,083 --> 00:35:13,416
man: Kirby, I think
this is crazy, man.
737
00:35:13,449 --> 00:35:15,016
Look, people are startin'
to complain,
738
00:35:15,049 --> 00:35:16,282
and I really feel
that it's illegal.
739
00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:19,215
This is not illegal.
And we are desperate.
740
00:35:19,248 --> 00:35:20,648
This is a resort town.
741
00:35:20,682 --> 00:35:21,581
We gotta get
our tourists here.
742
00:35:21,614 --> 00:35:24,214
Yeah, but I'm the sheriff
of this town, man.
743
00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:25,181
I'm the mayor!
744
00:35:25,214 --> 00:35:27,047
I'm the minister of
the ticlaw baptist church.
745
00:35:27,081 --> 00:35:29,681
I'm the president of
the rotary of the elks,
746
00:35:29,714 --> 00:35:31,180
and I have 2 lions
and a rhinoceros
747
00:35:31,213 --> 00:35:32,346
coming here.
748
00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:33,346
And I warned you about that.
749
00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:35,146
I told you that's a dumb idea,
that safari park.
750
00:35:35,180 --> 00:35:37,112
Don't be afraid to pour
it on there, r.G.!
751
00:35:37,145 --> 00:35:39,379
There are too many
safari parks in Florida.
752
00:35:39,412 --> 00:35:40,879
This place is startin'
to look like Africa.
753
00:35:40,912 --> 00:35:42,679
And the next thing
you'll want me to do
754
00:35:42,712 --> 00:35:43,679
is walk around
with a spear
755
00:35:43,712 --> 00:35:44,845
and a bone
through my nose.
756
00:35:44,878 --> 00:35:47,844
Well, now,
that ain't a bad idea.
757
00:35:47,878 --> 00:35:48,678
Oh, no.
758
00:35:48,711 --> 00:35:49,610
Why don't you come out
759
00:35:49,644 --> 00:35:51,277
and join US and help US
and give US a hand?
760
00:35:51,310 --> 00:35:52,077
No.
761
00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:53,410
Do it for me as a favor.
762
00:35:53,443 --> 00:35:54,310
Man, I don't know.
763
00:35:54,343 --> 00:35:56,743
Well, then, do it
for private enterprise.
764
00:35:56,777 --> 00:35:58,842
Do it for the little guy,
for Christ s sakes.
765
00:35:58,876 --> 00:36:01,376
Sheriff:
I don't know, Kirby.
766
00:36:04,709 --> 00:36:07,975
Ok, all clear now! Come on!
Let's go! Come on!
767
00:36:08,008 --> 00:36:10,008
Woman: Come on, now,
honey bubbles.
768
00:36:10,041 --> 00:36:12,840
Take another donut,
and pull.
769
00:36:12,874 --> 00:36:14,640
Come on.
770
00:36:14,674 --> 00:36:15,940
Pull!
771
00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:18,406
That's it.
772
00:36:18,439 --> 00:36:20,039
One more, now.
All right.
773
00:36:20,073 --> 00:36:23,238
Oh, that's beautiful!
774
00:36:33,337 --> 00:36:34,237
Could I, uh--
775
00:36:34,271 --> 00:36:37,737
excuse me, could I have
more coffee, please?
776
00:36:39,737 --> 00:36:41,670
Bitch.
777
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,700
Thanks.
778
00:37:07,066 --> 00:37:08,932
Thank you.
779
00:37:09,699 --> 00:37:11,132
Here.
780
00:37:12,866 --> 00:37:13,931
This waitress--
781
00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:14,998
hey, are you a--
782
00:37:15,031 --> 00:37:16,765
No, you go on.
783
00:37:16,798 --> 00:37:17,998
Oh, nothin'.
784
00:37:18,031 --> 00:37:18,831
I was just gonna say
785
00:37:18,865 --> 00:37:20,830
that these waitresses
are impossible.
786
00:37:20,864 --> 00:37:21,730
Yeah?
787
00:37:21,764 --> 00:37:23,930
They don't care.
788
00:37:23,964 --> 00:37:26,764
It's kinda late
and all.
789
00:37:28,663 --> 00:37:30,395
What's your name?
790
00:37:30,428 --> 00:37:33,162
Duane Hansen.
791
00:37:33,195 --> 00:37:36,628
I'm Carmen Odessa
Shelby.
792
00:37:36,662 --> 00:37:40,762
Are you a writer
or somethin' or what?
793
00:37:40,795 --> 00:37:41,961
No.
794
00:37:41,994 --> 00:37:45,694
No, uh--
what do you do?
795
00:37:45,727 --> 00:37:48,260
I'm a waitress.
796
00:37:50,293 --> 00:37:53,292
You makin' fun of me
now or what?
797
00:37:53,325 --> 00:37:54,760
No.
798
00:37:54,793 --> 00:37:57,792
I bet you're
a good waitress.
799
00:37:58,792 --> 00:38:00,191
What, um--
800
00:38:00,224 --> 00:38:02,391
what's in that thing there?
801
00:38:02,424 --> 00:38:04,824
Is that, uh, pebbles?
Seashells?
802
00:38:04,858 --> 00:38:05,457
What?
803
00:38:05,490 --> 00:38:07,858
Actually,
it's my mother.
804
00:38:07,891 --> 00:38:09,257
What?
805
00:38:09,290 --> 00:38:11,823
Well, she wanted
to be cremated.
806
00:38:11,857 --> 00:38:13,890
She was real dramatic
and she said,
807
00:38:13,923 --> 00:38:16,389
"when I'm gone,
burn me up."
808
00:38:16,422 --> 00:38:19,656
So, I did.
809
00:38:19,689 --> 00:38:22,755
Hey, what's
your name again?
810
00:38:22,788 --> 00:38:24,921
Duane.
811
00:38:25,655 --> 00:38:27,688
Mama, this is Duane.
812
00:38:27,721 --> 00:38:32,687
Duane, this is my mama,
lolita Shelby.
813
00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:34,119
It's kind of hard
to believe
814
00:38:34,153 --> 00:38:35,754
there's a 250-pound
woman in there
815
00:38:35,787 --> 00:38:37,686
with dirty hair
and a double chin,
816
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,653
now isn't it?
Yeah.
817
00:38:39,686 --> 00:38:41,285
It's kind of--
818
00:38:44,352 --> 00:38:46,118
my mama wore wigs.
819
00:38:46,152 --> 00:38:48,284
For the past 3 days,
820
00:38:48,317 --> 00:38:51,351
I've been throwin' out
wigs, wigs
821
00:38:51,384 --> 00:38:53,684
and more wigs.
822
00:38:55,983 --> 00:38:58,616
Anyway, uh,
what do you do?
823
00:38:58,650 --> 00:39:01,783
I repair copy machines.
824
00:39:01,816 --> 00:39:03,149
That's difficult.
825
00:39:03,182 --> 00:39:06,149
You can't get just anybody
to do that.
826
00:39:06,182 --> 00:39:09,281
You got a skill.
827
00:39:11,048 --> 00:39:13,748
You wouldn't wanna
go have a drink
828
00:39:13,781 --> 00:39:15,213
or something?
829
00:39:15,247 --> 00:39:16,748
A drink or something?
830
00:39:16,781 --> 00:39:17,913
Yeah.
831
00:39:17,947 --> 00:39:21,847
Well, gosh.
832
00:39:22,179 --> 00:39:25,812
I don't know,
it's-it's late.
833
00:39:25,846 --> 00:39:28,079
Yeah, it's late.
834
00:39:29,779 --> 00:39:31,711
So what?
835
00:39:31,745 --> 00:39:34,145
Do you--do you
live alone or what?
836
00:39:34,178 --> 00:39:36,778
No, I live with my--
837
00:39:37,844 --> 00:39:38,910
i--
838
00:39:38,944 --> 00:39:41,710
I'm sorry
about your mother.
839
00:39:41,744 --> 00:39:43,009
Yeah.
840
00:39:43,043 --> 00:39:44,776
We were friends.
841
00:39:44,809 --> 00:39:47,776
She was a waitress, too.
842
00:39:47,809 --> 00:39:51,808
And we were gonna go
on vacation together.
843
00:39:51,842 --> 00:39:55,808
So that's why I say
you just gotta live day by day.
844
00:39:55,842 --> 00:39:58,341
And the future?
845
00:40:00,707 --> 00:40:03,641
I talk too much.
Nobody wants to hear it.
846
00:40:03,674 --> 00:40:05,006
Everybody thinks I'm crazy.
847
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,339
Well, we're all crazy.
Right?
848
00:40:09,305 --> 00:40:12,672
So hey,
what's your sign?
849
00:40:16,772 --> 00:40:20,171
* look at those women
look at those men *
850
00:40:20,204 --> 00:40:22,638
* throwin'
their lives away *
851
00:40:22,671 --> 00:40:26,203
* hopin' lady luck
will get them down *
852
00:40:26,237 --> 00:40:28,703
* this honky tonky freeway
853
00:40:28,737 --> 00:40:31,670
* and there's,
there's a rhino loose *
854
00:40:31,703 --> 00:40:34,702
* ooh, she loves
that juice *
855
00:40:34,736 --> 00:40:38,101
* she hits the nearest bar
then waves to every car *
856
00:40:38,135 --> 00:40:40,368
* she's got nothin'
else to do *
857
00:40:40,401 --> 00:40:43,334
* everybody's goin'
faster faster *
858
00:40:43,367 --> 00:40:47,600
* everybody's goin'
faster faster *
859
00:40:50,399 --> 00:40:55,099
Oh, it's kinking up
on me again.
860
00:40:55,133 --> 00:40:55,799
Ooh!
861
00:40:55,833 --> 00:40:57,232
I know what's wrong
with you.
862
00:40:57,265 --> 00:40:58,599
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
863
00:40:58,633 --> 00:41:00,598
You don't know.
You don't.
864
00:41:00,632 --> 00:41:01,365
I do know. I do.
865
00:41:01,398 --> 00:41:03,297
Honey, would you
just relax?
866
00:41:03,331 --> 00:41:05,831
I'm relaxed.
867
00:41:08,264 --> 00:41:09,764
Are we there yet?
868
00:41:09,797 --> 00:41:11,631
Almost, sweetheart.
869
00:41:11,664 --> 00:41:13,896
When will we be there?
870
00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:15,596
Soon.
871
00:41:15,630 --> 00:41:16,963
Little Billy.
872
00:41:16,996 --> 00:41:18,596
What?
873
00:41:31,993 --> 00:41:33,694
Freak!
874
00:42:10,655 --> 00:42:13,554
I'm gonna try it again.
875
00:42:24,552 --> 00:42:26,653
I can't stand this.
I can't stand it.
876
00:42:26,686 --> 00:42:28,653
They can take away
my job,
877
00:42:28,685 --> 00:42:29,652
they can take away
our house
878
00:42:29,685 --> 00:42:30,852
and make US live
in a condominium
879
00:42:30,885 --> 00:42:31,885
with a bunch
of old farts,
880
00:42:31,919 --> 00:42:34,018
but they cannot
take away my car!
881
00:42:35,619 --> 00:42:37,584
Give me back my car,
you bastards!
882
00:42:37,618 --> 00:42:39,051
Give me back--
give me back my car!
883
00:42:39,084 --> 00:42:41,150
Stop it, sherman.
Get back in this car.
884
00:42:41,183 --> 00:42:43,650
Get control of your life!
885
00:42:46,382 --> 00:42:50,716
I have never seen you
like this.
886
00:42:54,281 --> 00:42:56,681
I liked that car.
887
00:42:56,715 --> 00:42:58,681
It was my prize.
888
00:42:58,715 --> 00:43:00,015
I know.
It was an honor.
889
00:43:00,048 --> 00:43:03,080
Best ad man--
1956, 57, 58.
890
00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:04,814
1954, 55, 56, Carol.
891
00:43:04,847 --> 00:43:06,279
Will you get
my career straight
892
00:43:06,313 --> 00:43:08,647
just for once?
893
00:43:08,879 --> 00:43:10,746
Where's the tow truck?
894
00:43:10,779 --> 00:43:11,512
It's not coming.
895
00:43:11,545 --> 00:43:13,278
They're not gonna
even let US die
896
00:43:13,312 --> 00:43:14,646
in Florida playing
shuffleboard.
897
00:43:14,679 --> 00:43:16,579
It's gonna be right
here, tonight, Carol.
898
00:43:16,613 --> 00:43:17,645
Don't be morbid.
The truck will come.
899
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:20,912
I can see my New York times
obituary right now.
900
00:43:20,945 --> 00:43:21,812
"Sherman schaffler
901
00:43:21,845 --> 00:43:23,644
"sneezed himself to
death in a rented car
902
00:43:23,677 --> 00:43:26,711
by the side of the road
with his alcoholic wife."
903
00:43:26,744 --> 00:43:29,776
Oh, I-I m sorry.
904
00:43:29,810 --> 00:43:32,576
I didn t mean that.
905
00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:34,810
I know.
906
00:43:37,642 --> 00:43:39,709
Well...
907
00:43:39,742 --> 00:43:41,308
I'm going to walk
908
00:43:41,341 --> 00:43:42,675
to the nearest
gas station.
909
00:43:42,709 --> 00:43:44,308
I'll go with you.
910
00:43:44,341 --> 00:43:46,674
We're in this together.
911
00:43:46,708 --> 00:43:48,940
* years from now
912
00:43:51,673 --> 00:43:53,973
* I'll want you
913
00:43:54,007 --> 00:43:58,606
* years from now
914
00:43:58,639 --> 00:44:01,205
* and I'll love you
915
00:44:03,071 --> 00:44:06,605
* years from now
916
00:44:06,638 --> 00:44:08,971
* as I love you tonight
917
00:44:09,004 --> 00:44:12,637
hi. What seems
to be the problem?
918
00:44:12,670 --> 00:44:14,236
The damn thing
won't start.
919
00:44:14,269 --> 00:44:14,904
That's the problem.
920
00:44:14,937 --> 00:44:16,604
The damned thing
won't start.
921
00:44:16,637 --> 00:44:18,336
You got gasoline in it?
922
00:44:18,369 --> 00:44:20,236
Of course
there's gas in it.
923
00:44:20,269 --> 00:44:21,669
It just won't start.
924
00:44:21,703 --> 00:44:24,968
* always my one
925
00:44:25,002 --> 00:44:28,802
* true friend
926
00:44:28,835 --> 00:44:31,101
* and I'll love you
927
00:44:31,134 --> 00:44:33,334
* till life's end
928
00:44:36,233 --> 00:44:40,000
* as I love you tonight
929
00:44:40,033 --> 00:44:43,733
well, that'll be $45.
930
00:44:45,932 --> 00:44:51,331
* I know this world
that we live in *
931
00:44:51,364 --> 00:44:52,698
20.
932
00:44:52,731 --> 00:44:56,330
40. 45.
Son of a bitch.
933
00:44:56,363 --> 00:44:58,598
Have a good day.
934
00:44:59,797 --> 00:45:02,229
Slide through, Carol.
935
00:45:04,763 --> 00:45:08,729
* still, love
has kept US together *
936
00:45:08,762 --> 00:45:12,562
would you like to go
for a cocktail?
937
00:45:12,596 --> 00:45:15,561
Oh, well,
if you want one.
938
00:45:32,992 --> 00:45:35,325
Would you believe it?
Husbands send in
939
00:45:35,357 --> 00:45:37,257
naked pictures
of their wives
940
00:45:37,291 --> 00:45:38,924
with little comments
for $50.
941
00:45:38,957 --> 00:45:41,757
Who would do
a thing like that? Huh?
942
00:45:43,657 --> 00:45:47,156
Why do you sneeze every time
you look at a naked woman?
943
00:45:47,190 --> 00:45:48,690
I got a cold.
944
00:45:48,723 --> 00:45:49,422
A cold, huh?
945
00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:52,055
Are you sure
it's not an allergy?
946
00:45:52,089 --> 00:45:54,622
Listen to this.
947
00:45:54,655 --> 00:45:57,321
"Annie Jo Wheeler.
A social worker.
948
00:45:57,354 --> 00:45:59,689
"Into needlepoint,
stock cars,
949
00:45:59,722 --> 00:46:02,688
charity work
and group sex."
950
00:46:02,721 --> 00:46:05,153
Who the hell
are these people?
951
00:46:07,053 --> 00:46:09,887
You know, I think you sneeze
every time you get excited.
952
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,152
Don't be silly.
953
00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:13,852
Huh?
954
00:46:14,219 --> 00:46:15,286
What are you doin'?
955
00:46:15,319 --> 00:46:17,086
I'm givin'
this kid a ride.
956
00:46:17,119 --> 00:46:17,819
Why?
957
00:46:17,852 --> 00:46:20,251
It's cold, it's wet.
He's a kid.
958
00:46:20,285 --> 00:46:21,118
He could be a cop.
959
00:46:21,151 --> 00:46:24,051
He's gonna have to sit
next to our money.
960
00:46:35,616 --> 00:46:37,916
So, you're a student?
961
00:46:37,949 --> 00:46:38,749
Yeah.
962
00:46:38,783 --> 00:46:41,282
Yeah, I am. Yeah.
963
00:46:41,315 --> 00:46:42,115
What's so funny about that?
964
00:46:42,148 --> 00:46:44,982
I see nothing funny
in that question.
965
00:46:45,015 --> 00:46:46,081
Nothing.
I'm sorry.
966
00:46:46,114 --> 00:46:47,548
Like, I'm wrecked,
you know?
967
00:46:47,582 --> 00:46:50,147
Man, I can't hitch
on these freeways
968
00:46:50,181 --> 00:46:52,246
unless I'm just
completely wrecked.
969
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,747
You know
what I mean, man.
970
00:46:53,781 --> 00:46:54,547
Sure.
971
00:46:54,581 --> 00:46:56,580
A lot of these weirdoes
pick you up.
972
00:46:56,613 --> 00:46:57,713
And vicey-versy.
973
00:46:57,746 --> 00:47:00,012
Yeah.
974
00:47:03,579 --> 00:47:06,244
So what do you guys got
in the bag here, huh?
975
00:47:06,278 --> 00:47:08,111
Money?
976
00:47:12,911 --> 00:47:14,744
You're brilliant.
You know that?
977
00:47:14,777 --> 00:47:19,209
Hitchhiker:
Hey, you guys cool?
978
00:47:19,743 --> 00:47:22,776
Relatively.
979
00:47:27,709 --> 00:47:29,908
* drivin' on cocaine
980
00:47:29,941 --> 00:47:33,207
* it makes the road
go faster *
981
00:47:33,240 --> 00:47:36,007
* it makes everything
982
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:38,707
* seem very, very clear
983
00:47:38,740 --> 00:47:39,807
hey, you guys
want to pull over
984
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:41,540
to the side
of the road somewhere
985
00:47:41,574 --> 00:47:43,306
and do a little cocaine?
986
00:47:43,339 --> 00:47:44,606
I don't think so.
987
00:47:44,639 --> 00:47:46,539
Eugene, would you like
to snort some coke
988
00:47:46,573 --> 00:47:48,606
by the side
of the road?
989
00:47:48,639 --> 00:47:49,639
Eugene?
990
00:47:49,672 --> 00:47:53,072
I'm fine for now, thanks.
991
00:47:55,804 --> 00:47:57,604
Yep.
992
00:47:57,637 --> 00:47:59,837
I'm goin' down
to the super bowl.
993
00:47:59,871 --> 00:48:00,771
I'm gonna sell cocaine.
994
00:48:00,804 --> 00:48:03,604
Workin' my way through
college sellin' dope.
995
00:48:03,636 --> 00:48:05,803
That's very
industrious.
996
00:48:05,836 --> 00:48:08,636
Shut up and slow down.
997
00:48:08,670 --> 00:48:09,735
Wow.
998
00:48:09,769 --> 00:48:10,469
Man, I love--
999
00:48:10,502 --> 00:48:12,035
I-I love these
green signs, man.
1000
00:48:12,069 --> 00:48:13,234
You can be anyplace.
1001
00:48:13,268 --> 00:48:16,669
Oregon, Illinois,
Michigan,
1002
00:48:16,701 --> 00:48:20,568
new Mexico, New Jersey,
New York--
1003
00:48:20,601 --> 00:48:23,300
yes, yes, yes. We get
the idea. Anywhere.
1004
00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:27,667
New Amsterdam, new england,
New Delhi.
1005
00:48:27,700 --> 00:48:28,900
New Orleans.
1006
00:48:28,932 --> 00:48:31,699
You're certainly
in a nasty humor.
1007
00:48:31,732 --> 00:48:34,566
Shut up and slow down.
1008
00:48:40,031 --> 00:48:42,230
Woman over P.A.:
Paging Mr. Samuels.
1009
00:48:42,264 --> 00:48:43,230
Paging Mr. David Samuels.
1010
00:48:43,264 --> 00:48:46,830
Could you please pick up
a purple courtesy phone?
1011
00:48:48,664 --> 00:48:50,096
Man:
Pretty, huh?
1012
00:48:50,129 --> 00:48:51,196
She's gorgeous.
1013
00:48:51,229 --> 00:48:52,629
Yeah. I'm her manager.
1014
00:48:52,663 --> 00:48:54,129
What kind
of manager?
1015
00:48:54,163 --> 00:48:56,095
Personal manager.
Oh, yeah?
1016
00:48:56,128 --> 00:48:58,728
You wanna get lucky?
1017
00:48:58,762 --> 00:49:00,628
Yeah.
1018
00:49:00,662 --> 00:49:01,728
Just wait here.
1019
00:49:01,762 --> 00:49:03,728
Woman on P.A.:
Paging Mr. David Samuels.
1020
00:49:03,762 --> 00:49:07,027
Could you please pick up
a courtesy phone?
1021
00:49:07,061 --> 00:49:07,794
Come on, guys!
1022
00:49:07,827 --> 00:49:09,794
We're all goin' up
to Wally s room!
1023
00:49:09,827 --> 00:49:11,726
What room's he in?
1024
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:12,660
307!
1025
00:49:12,693 --> 00:49:15,192
I have a reservation.
I have a reservation.
1026
00:49:15,225 --> 00:49:17,593
Ma'am, our computer
shows no record of that.
1027
00:49:17,626 --> 00:49:20,225
And we are booked up,
so we have no room for you.
1028
00:49:20,259 --> 00:49:21,559
I am sorry.
1029
00:49:21,592 --> 00:49:22,324
You have no room for US?
1030
00:49:22,358 --> 00:49:23,792
I cannot believe
this is happening!
1031
00:49:23,825 --> 00:49:25,624
I cannot believe
this is happening to US.
1032
00:49:25,658 --> 00:49:27,224
Well, it happened
to Joseph and Mary,
1033
00:49:27,258 --> 00:49:28,958
and that
turned out ok.
1034
00:49:28,991 --> 00:49:31,023
Wait, wait.
What is your last name?
1035
00:49:31,057 --> 00:49:32,890
I have no last name.
1036
00:49:32,923 --> 00:49:35,790
Just for the computer,
what is your last name?
1037
00:49:35,823 --> 00:49:37,222
Christ.
1038
00:49:37,256 --> 00:49:38,222
Excuse me?
1039
00:49:38,256 --> 00:49:39,156
Well, technically,
1040
00:49:39,189 --> 00:49:41,589
since we're all brides
of Christ, our last--
1041
00:49:41,622 --> 00:49:42,922
sorry.
1042
00:49:42,956 --> 00:49:44,921
Well, I have a Claire,
a Clinton,
1043
00:49:44,955 --> 00:49:45,788
a clarise--
1044
00:49:45,821 --> 00:49:47,588
oh, that's me.
That's me. Sister clarise.
1045
00:49:47,621 --> 00:49:50,220
Well, ma'am, it simply says
"m. Clarise."
1046
00:49:50,254 --> 00:49:51,987
It does not say
"sister clarise."
1047
00:49:52,020 --> 00:49:53,720
Yes, well, that's me.
1048
00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:56,787
Do you have
a driver's license?
1049
00:49:56,820 --> 00:49:58,786
She doesn't drive.
1050
00:49:58,819 --> 00:50:00,519
We've had
a lot of people
1051
00:50:00,553 --> 00:50:01,853
stealin'
television sets, ladies,
1052
00:50:01,886 --> 00:50:03,619
so we're crackin' down
security-wise.
1053
00:50:03,653 --> 00:50:05,619
Do you have
a major credit card?
1054
00:50:05,653 --> 00:50:06,985
We are nuns!
1055
00:50:07,018 --> 00:50:09,085
Look, honey,
I don't care what you are.
1056
00:50:09,118 --> 00:50:11,117
I have a corporation
breathing down my back.
1057
00:50:11,151 --> 00:50:12,817
We don't have
credit cards.
1058
00:50:12,851 --> 00:50:15,017
We'll pay in cash.
1059
00:50:15,051 --> 00:50:17,551
That causes a lot
1060
00:50:17,584 --> 00:50:19,750
of problems for me,
but all right.
1061
00:50:19,783 --> 00:50:22,883
All right.
You'll be in room 219.
1062
00:50:22,916 --> 00:50:24,616
That's in
the purple cluster.
1063
00:50:24,650 --> 00:50:26,049
Here's your computer cards.
1064
00:50:26,082 --> 00:50:27,815
You'll use these
instead of keys.
1065
00:50:27,849 --> 00:50:28,982
Kevin!
1066
00:50:29,015 --> 00:50:31,281
Kevin will show you
to the purple cluster.
1067
00:50:31,314 --> 00:50:33,114
Have a nice day.
1068
00:50:33,148 --> 00:50:34,248
Hi, I'm Kevin.
1069
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:36,581
I'll be showin' you
to your room.
1070
00:50:36,614 --> 00:50:39,681
God bless you.
1071
00:50:51,646 --> 00:50:53,579
* always losin' my money
1072
00:50:53,612 --> 00:50:56,078
* I suppose
you'll think-- *
1073
00:50:56,111 --> 00:50:57,811
sister Clarice:
Sister!
1074
00:50:57,845 --> 00:50:59,844
Uh, coming, sister.
1075
00:51:01,710 --> 00:51:06,644
Are you ready, girls?
Let's run for it.
1076
00:51:12,876 --> 00:51:15,775
Is this the only way
to get there?
1077
00:51:15,808 --> 00:51:18,008
Yes, ma'am.
1078
00:53:09,191 --> 00:53:11,991
Kirby: Listen, I'm tellin' ya,
they're gonna come back.
1079
00:53:12,025 --> 00:53:14,224
They're gonna get off
down there at the next exit
1080
00:53:14,257 --> 00:53:16,157
and they're gonna come
all the way back to here.
1081
00:53:16,190 --> 00:53:17,790
Kirby, if these signs
are illegal--
1082
00:53:17,824 --> 00:53:18,624
it doesn't matter.
1083
00:53:18,657 --> 00:53:21,223
This'll be a beautiful day
for ticlaw.
1084
00:53:21,256 --> 00:53:23,624
Oh, look, they're
slowin' down.
1085
00:53:23,657 --> 00:53:24,389
Look!
1086
00:53:24,423 --> 00:53:26,256
I think the signs
are gonna work.
1087
00:53:26,289 --> 00:53:29,756
* ticlaw
1088
00:53:29,789 --> 00:53:34,588
* ticlaw
1089
00:53:35,022 --> 00:53:37,887
Duane:
Oh, Carmen.
1090
00:53:38,621 --> 00:53:42,920
All my life, I've been waiting
for someone like you.
1091
00:53:47,586 --> 00:53:48,986
I'm overweight.
1092
00:53:49,019 --> 00:53:52,552
Mmm. I don't care.
1093
00:54:09,583 --> 00:54:10,916
Did you know
that Jupiter
1094
00:54:10,949 --> 00:54:14,082
is the largest planet
in our solar system?
1095
00:54:14,116 --> 00:54:16,482
Look.
1096
00:54:17,248 --> 00:54:18,616
I always sit
in this booth.
1097
00:54:18,649 --> 00:54:22,548
It's the same no matter
what state you're in
1098
00:54:22,581 --> 00:54:23,481
or what city.
1099
00:54:23,515 --> 00:54:26,481
This booth
remains the same.
1100
00:54:26,514 --> 00:54:28,647
The international house
of pancakes
1101
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:32,179
is the one consistent
thing in my life.
1102
00:54:34,679 --> 00:54:36,513
Man: Try 2375.
1103
00:54:36,546 --> 00:54:38,513
Second man:
Son of a bitch.
1104
00:54:38,546 --> 00:54:39,345
Try 9164.
1105
00:54:39,378 --> 00:54:41,845
Stupid technology!
I don't believe it!
1106
00:54:41,878 --> 00:54:44,144
Here, here,
let me try.
1107
00:54:49,011 --> 00:54:51,611
At least we got
the trunk.
1108
00:54:55,010 --> 00:54:57,643
Mmm. Yeah.
Let's take the Chevy.
1109
00:54:57,676 --> 00:55:00,042
All right.
1110
00:55:08,974 --> 00:55:11,541
Carmen,
I'll go with you.
1111
00:55:11,574 --> 00:55:12,574
I'll help you spread
your mother
1112
00:55:12,608 --> 00:55:14,540
around Miami beach.
How's that?
1113
00:55:14,573 --> 00:55:17,940
Oh, I don't know,
Duane.
1114
00:55:18,540 --> 00:55:20,139
See, that's what
I mean about my mama.
1115
00:55:20,172 --> 00:55:22,239
She just loved messin' up
everybody's life.
1116
00:55:22,272 --> 00:55:25,071
Now if I sprinkle her
around down there on that beach,
1117
00:55:25,105 --> 00:55:26,572
a big wind'll come up
1118
00:55:26,606 --> 00:55:28,605
and blow her
all over those people.
1119
00:55:28,638 --> 00:55:29,805
You know they got
suntan oil on them,
1120
00:55:29,838 --> 00:55:31,738
and they gotta wash
my mama off of 'em.
1121
00:55:31,771 --> 00:55:34,637
Someone they never
even knew. See?
1122
00:55:34,670 --> 00:55:38,236
She'll be affecting them,
and they ll never even know.
1123
00:55:38,269 --> 00:55:39,604
Waitress: Strawberry--
1124
00:55:39,637 --> 00:55:41,969
I love you.
1125
00:55:42,003 --> 00:55:43,769
Oh, Duane.
1126
00:55:43,803 --> 00:55:47,902
You don't even
know me.
1127
00:55:49,935 --> 00:55:54,535
I've slept with
over 300 men.
1128
00:55:54,568 --> 00:55:56,467
Everyone has
their faults.
1129
00:55:56,501 --> 00:55:59,833
300 men
in paducah, Kentucky?
1130
00:55:59,866 --> 00:56:03,533
Duane, it wasn't easy.
1131
00:56:03,566 --> 00:56:05,666
It's an accomplishment.
1132
00:56:05,700 --> 00:56:06,733
No, Duane.
1133
00:56:06,766 --> 00:56:11,699
It's a problem.
It's a real problem.
1134
00:56:12,231 --> 00:56:15,532
I'm like Ricky,
the carnivorous pony
1135
00:56:15,564 --> 00:56:17,698
in respect to men.
1136
00:56:22,863 --> 00:56:24,130
I love you,
1137
00:56:24,163 --> 00:56:27,630
I need you, and I want
to make you happy.
1138
00:56:27,663 --> 00:56:30,462
That's all.
1139
00:56:31,496 --> 00:56:33,729
Oh. I don't know
if that's what
1140
00:56:33,762 --> 00:56:36,495
I really want
out of life.
1141
00:57:09,923 --> 00:57:10,823
Woman: Oh, boy, Eddie,
1142
00:57:10,856 --> 00:57:13,523
you really picked a winner
for me last night.
1143
00:57:13,556 --> 00:57:14,456
Man: Why? What?
1144
00:57:14,490 --> 00:57:15,189
You really did.
1145
00:57:15,222 --> 00:57:16,289
This guy gets me
into his room
1146
00:57:16,322 --> 00:57:18,922
and opens up his briefcase
and pulls out a dog collar.
1147
00:57:18,955 --> 00:57:20,154
I knew I was in trouble.
1148
00:57:20,188 --> 00:57:22,655
I mean, then he has me
sitting in the corner
1149
00:57:22,689 --> 00:57:24,154
on a newspaper, barking.
1150
00:57:24,188 --> 00:57:25,254
And then he goes
over to the sofa
1151
00:57:25,288 --> 00:57:27,521
and he slaps his thigh twice,
and he goes--
1152
00:57:27,554 --> 00:57:28,820
I can't believe
you took mastercharge.
1153
00:57:28,853 --> 00:57:30,220
I don't know how
I'm gonna collect that.
1154
00:57:30,253 --> 00:57:32,153
So then I go over
to the sofa and I sit down,
1155
00:57:32,187 --> 00:57:33,553
and he slaps me
across the face,
1156
00:57:33,587 --> 00:57:35,052
and he knocks me down
on the floor,
1157
00:57:35,086 --> 00:57:36,186
and he goes,
"bad dog.
1158
00:57:36,219 --> 00:57:36,986
"You know
you're not supposed
1159
00:57:37,019 --> 00:57:39,052
to be up on the sofa,
you bad dog."
1160
00:57:39,086 --> 00:57:40,986
It's not funny, Eddie.
1161
00:57:41,018 --> 00:57:41,951
Ok.
1162
00:57:41,985 --> 00:57:44,518
I was ready to call
the a.S.P.C.A. On the guy.
1163
00:57:44,551 --> 00:57:46,951
I'm not doing the doggie bit
ever again.
1164
00:57:46,985 --> 00:57:47,818
Now, come on.
1165
00:57:47,851 --> 00:57:50,017
It's a lot better than
that-that Nazi bit
1166
00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:51,451
you did in Vegas.
1167
00:57:51,484 --> 00:57:53,550
So what's
a little barking?
1168
00:57:53,584 --> 00:57:55,916
You know, I could've
taken along
1169
00:57:55,949 --> 00:57:56,783
any of the other girls.
1170
00:57:56,816 --> 00:57:58,949
And they're a lot less
trouble than you.
1171
00:57:58,983 --> 00:57:59,816
But who did I take?
1172
00:57:59,849 --> 00:58:00,749
I took you, because
I want you with me.
1173
00:58:00,783 --> 00:58:02,882
You weren't even in the room
when I got back.
1174
00:58:02,915 --> 00:58:05,548
I'm right here.
1175
00:58:06,048 --> 00:58:08,047
I'm not doing this
anymore, Eddie.
1176
00:58:08,081 --> 00:58:09,482
No, you're gonna do
what I tell you,
1177
00:58:09,515 --> 00:58:11,482
or you're gonna end up
back in that supermarket
1178
00:58:11,515 --> 00:58:13,614
where I found you.
1179
00:58:14,614 --> 00:58:15,714
What's this?
1180
00:58:15,747 --> 00:58:18,413
Don't you have
anything smaller?
1181
00:58:19,180 --> 00:58:22,580
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1182
00:58:39,943 --> 00:58:44,477
* diamond trinkets
that you buy me *
1183
00:58:44,510 --> 00:58:49,141
* will not ever
satisfy me *
1184
00:58:49,175 --> 00:58:51,509
* long, black limos
1185
00:58:51,542 --> 00:58:58,541
* don't impress me at all
1186
00:58:58,974 --> 00:59:00,207
* diamond trinkets...
1187
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,440
This'll only take a minute.
1188
00:59:02,474 --> 00:59:03,707
You got 5 shirts
already.
1189
00:59:03,740 --> 00:59:07,073
* crying while
the champagne's flowing *
1190
00:59:07,106 --> 00:59:10,005
* seems happiness
is the one thing... *
1191
00:59:11,805 --> 00:59:17,137
* we can afford
1192
00:59:17,171 --> 00:59:18,004
they're both very nice,
1193
00:59:18,037 --> 00:59:20,204
but I'm not sure.
I'll come back later.
1194
00:59:20,237 --> 00:59:21,637
Oh. Mm-hmm.
1195
00:59:21,671 --> 00:59:22,604
Thank you.
1196
00:59:22,637 --> 00:59:26,570
* dad would have died
if he'd have seen US *
1197
00:59:26,603 --> 00:59:28,070
* just one room
1198
00:59:28,103 --> 00:59:32,470
* with a creaky
wooden floor *
1199
00:59:32,503 --> 00:59:35,069
can I help you?
1200
00:59:36,069 --> 00:59:38,201
* I used to save
dimes in a jar *
1201
00:59:38,234 --> 00:59:39,801
uh, just looking.
1202
00:59:39,834 --> 00:59:44,534
* I used to sing
and play guitar *
1203
00:59:44,568 --> 00:59:46,733
honest.
1204
00:59:46,767 --> 00:59:52,866
* ...We're leaving
any more *
1205
00:59:53,999 --> 00:59:56,632
* diamond trinkets
1206
00:59:56,666 --> 00:59:58,131
* are part of growing
1207
00:59:58,165 --> 01:00:03,197
* you're crying while
the champagne's flowing *
1208
01:00:03,230 --> 01:00:04,997
* seems happiness
is the one thing *
1209
01:00:07,465 --> 01:00:11,897
* we can afford
1210
01:00:12,530 --> 01:00:13,929
* when love was all--
1211
01:00:13,963 --> 01:00:16,496
how does this look?
1212
01:00:19,228 --> 01:00:20,529
Could I help you?
1213
01:00:20,563 --> 01:00:21,429
Eugene:
Beautiful.
1214
01:00:21,463 --> 01:00:23,562
Does it make
my ass look big?
1215
01:00:23,595 --> 01:00:25,628
No, your ass
looks fine.
1216
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:35,693
* oh, nights like this
a gal sure misses *
1217
01:00:35,726 --> 01:00:38,493
* hot dogs and mustard
1218
01:00:38,526 --> 01:00:40,859
* flavored kisses
1219
01:00:40,892 --> 01:00:43,825
* I'm not sure I need
1220
01:00:43,859 --> 01:00:46,759
* a sparkling stone
1221
01:00:46,791 --> 01:00:49,958
* cause I'm talkin' about
1222
01:00:49,991 --> 01:00:54,491
* diamond trinkets
that you buy me *
1223
01:00:54,524 --> 01:00:58,523
* will not ever
satisfy me *
1224
01:00:58,557 --> 01:01:00,623
hey, howdy, Kirby.
Nice going.
1225
01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:02,457
All right!
1226
01:01:03,456 --> 01:01:06,522
Attaboy, Kirby.
Attaboy.
1227
01:01:07,489 --> 01:01:10,688
Kirby: What do you say,
benjy, boy?
1228
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:17,720
Hey, Emmett, look!
A pink town!
1229
01:01:17,754 --> 01:01:20,487
Keep it movin'.
1230
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:22,454
Free gas
on your left.
1231
01:01:22,487 --> 01:01:25,486
Ticlaw inn and safari park
straight ahead.
1232
01:01:25,519 --> 01:01:26,985
Now keep it
moving there, lady.
1233
01:01:27,018 --> 01:01:28,052
Oh, my god.
1234
01:01:28,085 --> 01:01:32,418
Free gas. Plenty of free gas
right here on your left.
1235
01:01:32,452 --> 01:01:36,517
Thank you. Keep moving.
Free gas on your left.
1236
01:01:39,183 --> 01:01:42,183
Free restaurants.
Free parking and gasoline.
1237
01:01:42,216 --> 01:01:44,616
Come and get
your free gasoline.
1238
01:01:44,650 --> 01:01:47,583
Jesus.
We gotta stop that.
1239
01:01:47,915 --> 01:01:50,782
This time
it's gonna work.
1240
01:01:50,815 --> 01:01:52,782
I don't think
she likes this.
1241
01:01:52,815 --> 01:01:54,482
Don't worry.
1242
01:01:54,515 --> 01:01:56,148
Ladies and gentlemen,
1243
01:01:56,181 --> 01:01:57,881
you are about
to see a first.
1244
01:01:57,914 --> 01:02:00,080
Kirby! Kirby!
1245
01:02:00,113 --> 01:02:02,180
Mr. Kirk, you got here
just in time.
1246
01:02:02,213 --> 01:02:03,947
You can have a chorus line
of water-skiing elephants,
1247
01:02:03,980 --> 01:02:06,880
but you can't take the law
into your own hands.
1248
01:02:06,913 --> 01:02:07,713
Now?
In just a sec.
1249
01:02:07,747 --> 01:02:10,146
Those billboards
have got to come down.
1250
01:02:10,179 --> 01:02:10,946
They're illegal.
1251
01:02:10,979 --> 01:02:12,412
The oil companies
won't tolerate you
1252
01:02:12,446 --> 01:02:13,245
giving away
free gasoline.
1253
01:02:13,278 --> 01:02:15,045
Well, you can stick
the oil companies
1254
01:02:15,078 --> 01:02:17,479
where the sun don't shine.
1255
01:02:18,745 --> 01:02:21,445
You'll pay for this.
1256
01:02:21,478 --> 01:02:22,611
We already have.
1257
01:02:22,645 --> 01:02:24,944
And I think
you can go now.
1258
01:02:24,977 --> 01:02:27,710
Go! Now!
1259
01:03:14,737 --> 01:03:16,537
Kirby: Damn!
1260
01:03:16,570 --> 01:03:17,836
Damn!
1261
01:03:20,102 --> 01:03:22,168
Kirby, you're gonna
be killed!
1262
01:03:22,201 --> 01:03:23,769
What's the matter
with you?
1263
01:03:23,801 --> 01:03:24,436
This thing!
1264
01:03:24,469 --> 01:03:26,968
This thing
is gonna drive US
1265
01:03:27,001 --> 01:03:28,668
off the face
of the earth.
1266
01:03:28,701 --> 01:03:30,800
Honey,
we'll figure a way.
1267
01:03:30,834 --> 01:03:32,468
We always have!
1268
01:03:32,501 --> 01:03:33,367
I must be crazy
1269
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:36,033
to have pinned our future
on a pink town,
1270
01:03:36,066 --> 01:03:39,733
a half-assed safari park
and a damn bitch elephant
1271
01:03:39,766 --> 01:03:42,099
who can't even water ski.
1272
01:03:42,132 --> 01:03:43,098
What you are is drunk
1273
01:03:43,132 --> 01:03:45,765
and about to be splattered
all over the freeway.
1274
01:03:45,798 --> 01:03:47,532
Now, come on.
1275
01:03:51,632 --> 01:03:56,764
If she'd get up
just once, they'd come.
1276
01:03:56,797 --> 01:04:00,896
Hell, I would.
I'm dying of curiosity.
1277
01:04:00,930 --> 01:04:02,563
Oh, honey.
1278
01:04:02,596 --> 01:04:05,596
You'll do it.
1279
01:04:05,630 --> 01:04:07,862
You'll do it.
1280
01:04:07,895 --> 01:04:11,529
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1281
01:04:11,562 --> 01:04:12,728
* everybody's
going faster-- *
1282
01:04:12,761 --> 01:04:15,161
who gets the hamburgers,
who gets the fries?
1283
01:04:15,194 --> 01:04:19,528
The lion gets the burgers,
the rhino gets the fries.
1284
01:04:19,561 --> 01:04:22,493
This'll only take
a minute.
1285
01:04:22,527 --> 01:04:25,792
Hey, I'm in no hurry.
1286
01:04:26,892 --> 01:04:28,459
They'll eat this stuff?
1287
01:04:28,492 --> 01:04:30,626
They ain't got much
of a choice, do they?
1288
01:04:30,659 --> 01:04:34,125
Hey! Whoa!
Wh-whoa!
1289
01:04:56,188 --> 01:04:57,555
Do I look ok?
1290
01:04:57,588 --> 01:04:58,655
You look fine.
1291
01:04:58,688 --> 01:05:00,388
Does my ass look big?
1292
01:05:00,422 --> 01:05:02,554
Your ass
looks small.
1293
01:05:02,921 --> 01:05:04,153
Do I smell good?
1294
01:05:04,186 --> 01:05:06,421
You smell fine.
What is it with you?
1295
01:05:06,454 --> 01:05:08,786
These are hookers,
not debutantes.
1296
01:05:08,820 --> 01:05:11,152
Hey, could I ask
one thing?
1297
01:05:11,185 --> 01:05:12,852
Could we both try to
finish our endeavors
1298
01:05:12,885 --> 01:05:13,985
at roughly
the same time?
1299
01:05:14,019 --> 01:05:15,452
So I don't have
to wait around
1300
01:05:15,485 --> 01:05:16,619
like last time, huh?
1301
01:05:16,652 --> 01:05:17,519
Absolutely.
1302
01:05:17,552 --> 01:05:19,685
I just don't want to be
kept waiting, ok?
1303
01:05:24,551 --> 01:05:26,518
Woman on TV: While
your pig is marinating,
1304
01:05:26,551 --> 01:05:28,850
prepare a glorious stuffing,
1305
01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:32,517
using one fresh,
diced pineapple,
1306
01:05:32,550 --> 01:05:35,116
one ounce guava paste,
1307
01:05:35,149 --> 01:05:38,516
one pound of chopped
macadamia nuts,
1308
01:05:38,549 --> 01:05:40,781
3 large onions, chopped,
1309
01:05:40,815 --> 01:05:43,048
one pound of diced ham,
1310
01:05:43,081 --> 01:05:45,114
3 ounces coconut cream--
1311
01:05:46,515 --> 01:05:48,381
And 20 kumquats.
1312
01:05:48,415 --> 01:05:50,380
Mix all of these
ingredients together
1313
01:05:50,414 --> 01:05:54,480
in a large mixing bowl,
and reserve.
1314
01:06:02,413 --> 01:06:05,578
Hi! I'm sorry
about last night.
1315
01:06:05,612 --> 01:06:07,645
It'll never
happen again.
1316
01:06:07,678 --> 01:06:09,711
I promise.
Please forgive me.
1317
01:06:09,744 --> 01:06:12,143
You kept me waiting
all night long.
1318
01:06:12,176 --> 01:06:12,944
I'm sorry.
1319
01:06:12,977 --> 01:06:15,643
I'm sorry. Please,
please forgive me.
1320
01:06:15,676 --> 01:06:16,676
Pretty please.
1321
01:06:16,710 --> 01:06:18,576
All right.
You're forgiven.
1322
01:06:18,610 --> 01:06:19,443
Ok.
1323
01:06:19,476 --> 01:06:22,809
Just let me tell you
about the last one.
1324
01:06:22,842 --> 01:06:23,443
Ohh.
1325
01:06:23,475 --> 01:06:24,542
The last one
was the best.
1326
01:06:24,575 --> 01:06:25,274
Look, it's not that
1327
01:06:25,308 --> 01:06:26,675
I have anything
against hookers.
1328
01:06:26,709 --> 01:06:28,808
I just like a nice,
clean virgin,
1329
01:06:28,841 --> 01:06:30,774
that's all.
1330
01:06:32,108 --> 01:06:36,474
Clarise: Will you hurry?
What are you doing in there?
1331
01:06:37,507 --> 01:06:38,440
Coming, sister.
1332
01:06:38,473 --> 01:06:40,007
Are you all right?
1333
01:06:40,039 --> 01:06:41,440
Yes, sister.
1334
01:06:41,473 --> 01:06:43,106
Man on radio:
So don't miss it.
1335
01:06:43,139 --> 01:06:45,072
Visit Eli's hardware
this week only.
1336
01:06:45,106 --> 01:06:48,539
Super sale of super
power tools at Eli's.
1337
01:06:48,572 --> 01:06:49,506
And when you go in,
1338
01:06:49,539 --> 01:06:51,838
be sure and tell them
Toby neumeier sent you.
1339
01:06:51,871 --> 01:06:53,405
Speaking of bargains,
1340
01:06:53,438 --> 01:06:56,137
ferns on the highway,
Carlyle's favorite eatery,
1341
01:06:56,170 --> 01:06:59,404
offers egg dishes cooked
the way you like 'em.
1342
01:07:08,403 --> 01:07:11,102
Sister, are you
all right in there?
1343
01:07:11,135 --> 01:07:12,968
Yes, sister.
1344
01:07:13,002 --> 01:07:15,468
Well, hurry up, then.
1345
01:07:19,067 --> 01:07:20,501
All ready.
1346
01:07:20,534 --> 01:07:21,601
I'm going to have to tell
1347
01:07:21,634 --> 01:07:23,133
the new mother superior
about you.
1348
01:07:23,166 --> 01:07:26,366
I'm tired
of your nonsense.
1349
01:07:31,433 --> 01:07:32,932
Where's the car?
1350
01:07:32,965 --> 01:07:35,064
It's right--
1351
01:07:37,098 --> 01:07:39,498
well, where?
1352
01:07:39,531 --> 01:07:40,464
Shit.
1353
01:07:40,498 --> 01:07:43,531
It appears, sister,
that you've lost our car.
1354
01:07:43,564 --> 01:07:46,497
I didn't lose the car.
I put it right there.
1355
01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:48,430
You put our luggage
right there.
1356
01:07:48,463 --> 01:07:50,029
Did you leave
the keys in the car?
1357
01:07:50,062 --> 01:07:52,096
Uh, no.
They're here somewhere.
1358
01:07:52,129 --> 01:07:53,896
Oh, this damn robe.
1359
01:07:53,929 --> 01:07:55,429
What did you say?
1360
01:07:55,462 --> 01:07:56,328
Oh, uh, my vestments.
1361
01:07:56,362 --> 01:07:58,529
I haven't gotten used
to my vestments yet.
1362
01:07:58,561 --> 01:07:59,328
It's habits, habits.
1363
01:07:59,362 --> 01:08:00,995
How many times
do I have to tell you?
1364
01:08:01,028 --> 01:08:02,461
You really are hopeless.
1365
01:08:02,495 --> 01:08:03,827
Will you pick up
your suitcase?
1366
01:08:03,860 --> 01:08:05,428
We're going to walk.
1367
01:08:05,461 --> 01:08:06,394
Walk?
Yes.
1368
01:08:06,427 --> 01:08:08,360
To Miami beach?
Yes.
1369
01:08:08,394 --> 01:08:11,659
Maybe we'll get a ride.
1370
01:08:11,693 --> 01:08:12,493
Kirby: God said,
1371
01:08:12,526 --> 01:08:13,459
"I will provide
for you in abundance."
1372
01:08:13,493 --> 01:08:16,459
Well, we need an exit,
and I'm here to tell you
1373
01:08:16,493 --> 01:08:19,825
that everything is possible
for the righteous.
1374
01:08:19,858 --> 01:08:20,825
Hallelujah.
1375
01:08:20,858 --> 01:08:22,725
Hallelujah.
1376
01:08:22,758 --> 01:08:23,658
The israelites--
1377
01:08:23,692 --> 01:08:24,558
they had their backs up
against the red sea
1378
01:08:24,592 --> 01:08:27,557
with the Egyptians coming
directly at 'em.
1379
01:08:27,591 --> 01:08:30,491
Did they give up?
No, they had faith in god.
1380
01:08:30,524 --> 01:08:31,790
And he parted the red sea,
1381
01:08:31,823 --> 01:08:33,690
and the israelites
had their exit.
1382
01:08:33,723 --> 01:08:38,623
And we're gonna get ours,
no matter what we have to do.
1383
01:08:39,555 --> 01:08:41,122
And we're gonna have
people here. We will.
1384
01:08:41,155 --> 01:08:43,954
When we get 'em here,
what are we gonna show 'em?
1385
01:08:43,988 --> 01:08:47,355
We're gonna show 'em
a real good time.
1386
01:08:47,388 --> 01:08:48,188
Now, let me hear you say it.
1387
01:08:48,221 --> 01:08:51,654
We're gonna show 'em
a real good time.
1388
01:08:51,688 --> 01:08:54,487
A real good time!
1389
01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:56,687
A real good time!
1390
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:59,852
A real good time!
1391
01:09:07,386 --> 01:09:09,351
* the highway
stretches out *
1392
01:09:09,385 --> 01:09:12,084
* just like a snake
across the land *
1393
01:09:12,117 --> 01:09:16,384
* it tells a simple story
everyone can understand *
1394
01:09:16,417 --> 01:09:19,484
look at the water!
It's so blue!
1395
01:09:19,517 --> 01:09:20,783
Oh, this is it!
1396
01:09:20,816 --> 01:09:22,883
Mama, mama!
We made it, mama!
1397
01:09:22,916 --> 01:09:26,682
* there's a better
life ahead *
1398
01:09:26,715 --> 01:09:29,448
* and the highway
gypsies follow *
1399
01:09:29,482 --> 01:09:32,715
* every word
the highway says *
1400
01:09:34,514 --> 01:09:36,114
* the road is like
a river *
1401
01:09:36,147 --> 01:09:38,113
* and it keeps me
movin' on *
1402
01:09:38,146 --> 01:09:39,547
Carol, fasten
your seat belt.
1403
01:09:39,581 --> 01:09:41,480
* just another
nameless driver *
1404
01:09:41,513 --> 01:09:45,079
* in a world
we never thought *
1405
01:09:45,812 --> 01:09:47,945
* drinkin' hot,
black coffee *
1406
01:09:47,979 --> 01:09:51,978
* as my car
drinks gasoline *
1407
01:09:52,011 --> 01:09:54,512
* and headed for tomorrow
1408
01:09:54,544 --> 01:09:58,478
* and somewhere
I've never seen *
1409
01:09:58,910 --> 01:10:01,444
* it's a honky tonk freeway
1410
01:10:01,478 --> 01:10:04,943
* it's paradise on wheels
1411
01:10:04,977 --> 01:10:08,042
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
1412
01:10:08,076 --> 01:10:11,476
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
1413
01:10:11,509 --> 01:10:13,841
* and it's windin'
cross the country *
1414
01:10:13,875 --> 01:10:19,007
* just as far
as you can see *
1415
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:22,408
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
1416
01:10:22,441 --> 01:10:27,574
* that's where I wanna be
1417
01:10:27,607 --> 01:10:30,906
Come on.
1418
01:10:34,138 --> 01:10:36,605
Hey, sister!
1419
01:10:38,638 --> 01:10:41,904
* it's a honky tonk freeway
1420
01:10:41,937 --> 01:10:45,771
* it's paradise on wheels
1421
01:10:45,804 --> 01:10:48,736
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
1422
01:10:48,770 --> 01:10:51,870
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
1423
01:10:51,903 --> 01:10:55,035
* and it's windin'
cross the country *
1424
01:10:55,069 --> 01:10:59,369
* just as far
as you can see *
1425
01:10:59,602 --> 01:11:02,335
* on the honky tonk freeway
1426
01:11:02,369 --> 01:11:09,368
* that's where I wanna be
1427
01:11:32,630 --> 01:11:34,797
"And little Mary
reached out her hand,
1428
01:11:34,830 --> 01:11:36,929
"and Ricky went
whee, whee!
1429
01:11:36,963 --> 01:11:37,929
And kissed--"
1430
01:11:37,963 --> 01:11:41,062
we're building a new
dispensary for our children,
1431
01:11:41,095 --> 01:11:44,062
and what we're asking
everybody to donate is $10.
1432
01:11:44,095 --> 01:11:46,762
Sounds like a good idea.
I could write you a check.
1433
01:11:46,795 --> 01:11:49,395
Oh, that's very
kind of you.
1434
01:11:53,427 --> 01:11:55,461
Hey, you got something
on your nose.
1435
01:11:55,494 --> 01:11:57,394
How much is this?
1436
01:12:03,925 --> 01:12:05,360
Miss?
1437
01:12:05,392 --> 01:12:06,825
That ain't my station.
1438
01:12:06,859 --> 01:12:10,058
Will-will you try
to find some--
1439
01:12:10,091 --> 01:12:13,424
madam. Madam, could--
1440
01:12:31,055 --> 01:12:33,655
It's well done.
1441
01:12:35,888 --> 01:12:38,987
Grace, would you go
back to your station?
1442
01:12:39,020 --> 01:12:40,454
I'm comin'.
1443
01:12:40,487 --> 01:12:42,754
I'm comin'.
1444
01:12:45,086 --> 01:12:47,386
What for you?
1445
01:12:48,419 --> 01:12:50,319
I know what I want.
1446
01:12:50,353 --> 01:12:51,052
What?
1447
01:12:51,085 --> 01:12:54,785
Uh, clams casino
and you, baby.
1448
01:12:54,818 --> 01:12:57,017
Can I take your order?
1449
01:12:57,051 --> 01:12:59,385
Yeah. You can take
my order.
1450
01:12:59,418 --> 01:13:03,050
I'd like to start
with the lobster bisque.
1451
01:13:03,083 --> 01:13:04,983
Eddie: Grace.
1452
01:13:05,016 --> 01:13:07,383
You're kind of lonely,
aren't you?
1453
01:13:07,416 --> 01:13:08,550
Eddie, please.
1454
01:13:08,583 --> 01:13:10,316
Kinda.
1455
01:13:10,350 --> 01:13:11,383
I can cure that.
1456
01:13:11,416 --> 01:13:14,315
Hey, I'm in love
with a guy.
1457
01:13:14,349 --> 01:13:16,349
Oh, well,
of course you are.
1458
01:13:16,382 --> 01:13:17,582
But does he
make you happy?
1459
01:13:17,615 --> 01:13:18,848
Here's my question--
1460
01:13:18,881 --> 01:13:21,348
are you unhappy
in your present job?
1461
01:13:21,381 --> 01:13:22,981
You sound like
a commercial
1462
01:13:23,013 --> 01:13:25,348
on television
at 2:00 A.M.
1463
01:13:25,381 --> 01:13:28,780
You know, she's right,
Eddie. You do, sort of.
1464
01:13:28,813 --> 01:13:29,880
Yes, of course she's right.
1465
01:13:29,913 --> 01:13:32,079
But you see, what I'm selling
they don't offer on TV.
1466
01:13:32,112 --> 01:13:35,046
I'm not talking about
a truck driver's course
1467
01:13:35,079 --> 01:13:38,078
or some sort of slicer-dicer
in the kitchen, grace.
1468
01:13:38,111 --> 01:13:40,379
Oh, yeah? Well, what
are you talking about?
1469
01:13:40,412 --> 01:13:42,011
Grace, what I'm selling--
1470
01:13:42,045 --> 01:13:42,945
and this is
a one-time offer--
1471
01:13:42,978 --> 01:13:45,411
is the opportunity for you
to get out of here
1472
01:13:45,445 --> 01:13:47,444
and make
some real money.
1473
01:13:47,477 --> 01:13:49,410
You ever been
to New York?
1474
01:13:49,444 --> 01:13:50,510
No.
1475
01:13:50,544 --> 01:13:51,677
Think about it, grace.
1476
01:13:51,710 --> 01:13:54,076
When you deliver
that next fishburger,
1477
01:13:54,109 --> 01:13:55,676
ask yourself,
1478
01:13:55,709 --> 01:13:57,476
"is this what I want
out of life?"
1479
01:13:57,509 --> 01:13:59,642
And then consider my offer,
1480
01:13:59,675 --> 01:14:03,642
because this offer
expires with dessert.
1481
01:14:04,074 --> 01:14:10,407
Well, I think I better
get back to my station.
1482
01:14:11,106 --> 01:14:13,474
I'm sitting
up front, Eddie.
1483
01:14:13,507 --> 01:14:16,340
I'm sitting
up front.
1484
01:14:16,373 --> 01:14:19,440
Ok, then.
Who gets the crabs?
1485
01:14:19,473 --> 01:14:22,372
Honey, we all do
sooner or later.
1486
01:14:24,505 --> 01:14:26,372
Cheeseburgers.
1487
01:14:26,405 --> 01:14:28,504
All right, we got
a filet of sole here.
1488
01:14:28,538 --> 01:14:31,338
Man: Filet of sole's
across there.
1489
01:14:36,370 --> 01:14:37,537
Hi.
1490
01:14:37,570 --> 01:14:38,902
Well, hi.
1491
01:14:38,936 --> 01:14:41,936
Greetings
and salutations.
1492
01:14:42,836 --> 01:14:45,702
Couldn't help but notice
you looking at me
1493
01:14:45,736 --> 01:14:48,635
from across the room
over there.
1494
01:14:49,336 --> 01:14:52,335
What sign are you?
Libra.
1495
01:14:54,368 --> 01:14:58,500
I was wondering if maybe
you could possibly
1496
01:14:58,534 --> 01:15:00,600
help me out
with a ride,
1497
01:15:00,634 --> 01:15:01,999
perchance.
1498
01:15:02,033 --> 01:15:03,733
Hi.
1499
01:15:03,766 --> 01:15:04,533
Hi.
1500
01:15:04,566 --> 01:15:06,299
Duane: Am I
interrupting something?
1501
01:15:06,333 --> 01:15:07,665
No, no.
1502
01:15:07,698 --> 01:15:08,932
Yeah, I'm spanky.
1503
01:15:08,965 --> 01:15:13,831
Spanky is the name,
and cocaine is the game.
1504
01:15:14,532 --> 01:15:16,797
Have a seat.
1505
01:15:17,464 --> 01:15:18,864
Thank you.
1506
01:15:19,063 --> 01:15:22,397
I was, um,
just talking
1507
01:15:22,431 --> 01:15:25,463
to your pretty
little wife here.
1508
01:15:26,929 --> 01:15:28,463
Who is this guy?
1509
01:15:28,496 --> 01:15:29,862
He's a libra.
1510
01:15:29,895 --> 01:15:31,629
He says he needs
a ride, Duane.
1511
01:15:31,662 --> 01:15:33,529
You didn't offer him one?
1512
01:15:33,562 --> 01:15:34,462
No.
1513
01:15:34,495 --> 01:15:35,628
Is he bothering you?
1514
01:15:35,661 --> 01:15:36,861
No, he's ok.
1515
01:15:36,894 --> 01:15:38,328
He doesn't look
ok to me.
1516
01:15:38,361 --> 01:15:39,728
Hey, what is this?
1517
01:15:39,761 --> 01:15:43,060
Hey, something new?
1518
01:15:43,093 --> 01:15:44,960
That's my mother!
1519
01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:49,592
You're shitting me.
1520
01:15:53,826 --> 01:15:55,858
I'm sorry.
1521
01:15:57,725 --> 01:15:58,758
Miss!
1522
01:15:58,791 --> 01:16:02,924
You are not the only person
in the world, you know.
1523
01:16:02,957 --> 01:16:06,024
Hey, look
who's here, Eugene.
1524
01:16:06,057 --> 01:16:08,823
Thanks, gene.
Eugene.
1525
01:16:13,823 --> 01:16:15,988
I don't know what
this country's coming to
1526
01:16:16,022 --> 01:16:16,988
when they'll steal
a nun's car.
1527
01:16:17,022 --> 01:16:19,855
Well, it's been a very
nerve-racking experience.
1528
01:16:19,888 --> 01:16:21,588
I'm afraid
sister Mary Magdalen
1529
01:16:21,622 --> 01:16:23,422
doesn't drive well.
1530
01:16:23,455 --> 01:16:25,887
I drive fine.
1531
01:16:25,921 --> 01:16:27,421
You look like a penguin.
1532
01:16:27,454 --> 01:16:29,554
I don't look
like a penguin.
1533
01:16:29,587 --> 01:16:31,354
You look like a crow.
1534
01:16:31,387 --> 01:16:32,153
Delia.
1535
01:16:32,186 --> 01:16:32,886
You'll have to forgive
little Delia.
1536
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:34,286
Well, I don't look
like a penguin
1537
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:35,785
and I don't
look like a crow.
1538
01:16:35,819 --> 01:16:38,419
You look like
Dracula s sister.
1539
01:16:38,452 --> 01:16:39,251
Delia.
1540
01:16:39,285 --> 01:16:40,151
And you do not
know how to drive a car
1541
01:16:40,184 --> 01:16:43,051
but I don't look like
a penguin or a crow.
1542
01:16:43,084 --> 01:16:47,384
I don't know if I like
being a nun.
1543
01:16:48,618 --> 01:16:51,351
I need to talk to you,
sister.
1544
01:16:51,384 --> 01:16:53,017
I can't.
1545
01:16:57,849 --> 01:17:00,482
Where's the food?
1546
01:17:04,015 --> 01:17:06,315
I don't know what to do.
1547
01:17:06,348 --> 01:17:09,415
I really don't know
what to do.
1548
01:17:09,448 --> 01:17:12,814
I do, baby.
I do, I do.
1549
01:17:12,847 --> 01:17:14,714
Here.
Now, grace, grace.
1550
01:17:14,747 --> 01:17:16,314
You want to come
with US?
1551
01:17:16,347 --> 01:17:17,514
I'm so upset.
1552
01:17:17,547 --> 01:17:19,013
We're going to
Miami beach.
1553
01:17:19,046 --> 01:17:21,046
* I'm sittin'
up front *
1554
01:17:21,079 --> 01:17:22,045
* na na na na na
1555
01:17:22,078 --> 01:17:26,645
* I'm sittin' up front
I'm sittin' up front *
1556
01:17:26,678 --> 01:17:28,545
"once upon a time
in a faraway land,
1557
01:17:28,578 --> 01:17:33,411
"there was this pony,
and his name was Ricky.
1558
01:17:33,444 --> 01:17:34,444
All: "Licky!"
1559
01:17:34,477 --> 01:17:35,344
Mm-hmm.
1560
01:17:36,777 --> 01:17:38,610
"He was the most
beautiful pony,
1561
01:17:38,643 --> 01:17:40,643
"but none of the children
could ride him
1562
01:17:40,676 --> 01:17:43,676
"no matter how hard
they tried.
1563
01:17:44,942 --> 01:17:46,376
"Because when a child
1564
01:17:46,409 --> 01:17:49,009
"reached his hand
up to Ricky--
1565
01:17:52,841 --> 01:17:55,574
"Munch, munch,
went Ricky s powerful,
1566
01:17:55,608 --> 01:17:56,641
"flat, yellow teeth.
1567
01:17:56,674 --> 01:18:01,040
"And crunch! And off came
the little boy's fingers.
1568
01:18:01,073 --> 01:18:04,273
"And whee!
The blood ran across
1569
01:18:04,307 --> 01:18:07,339
his blue lips."
1570
01:18:07,372 --> 01:18:09,006
Whee!
1571
01:18:18,004 --> 01:18:20,405
What do you say, Earl?
1572
01:18:20,437 --> 01:18:22,370
All clear now!
1573
01:18:22,404 --> 01:18:23,870
Nice night for it,
Kirby.
1574
01:18:23,903 --> 01:18:26,337
Kirby: It's a sign, boy.
1575
01:19:11,929 --> 01:19:14,996
Well, this has
got to go.
1576
01:19:17,362 --> 01:19:20,496
All right.
1577
01:19:26,328 --> 01:19:27,495
* tomorrow night
1578
01:19:28,328 --> 01:19:32,926
* you'll have
another sweetheart *
1579
01:19:34,726 --> 01:19:37,626
* tomorrow night
1580
01:19:48,425 --> 01:19:52,391
* you just don't know
1581
01:19:52,424 --> 01:19:55,324
* how to treat me right
1582
01:19:55,357 --> 01:19:58,323
* oh, I can't go through
1583
01:19:58,356 --> 01:20:02,722
* another lonely night
1584
01:20:06,054 --> 01:20:08,954
hold it.
Truck coming.
1585
01:20:08,988 --> 01:20:12,254
Hit the lights.
Hit the lights!
1586
01:20:25,819 --> 01:20:30,785
Lights on. Come on.
Ok, but work quietly.
1587
01:20:31,285 --> 01:20:35,318
* and called it macaroni
yankee doodle, keep it up *
1588
01:20:35,351 --> 01:20:37,750
* yankee doodle dandy
1589
01:21:09,979 --> 01:21:12,712
Ok, that's good.
1590
01:21:12,745 --> 01:21:14,345
All right.
1591
01:21:14,379 --> 01:21:16,678
Check the road.
1592
01:21:31,009 --> 01:21:33,342
It's a beauty.
It's a beauty.
1593
01:22:02,372 --> 01:22:05,771
Tell 'em it's all clear!
1594
01:22:10,271 --> 01:22:12,603
All clear!
1595
01:22:13,303 --> 01:22:14,870
Kirby, I don't think
we should do this.
1596
01:22:14,903 --> 01:22:15,770
We could all be killed.
1597
01:22:15,803 --> 01:22:16,670
It's just a little bit
of dynamite, honey.
1598
01:22:16,703 --> 01:22:18,602
We're just gonna
make a little bitty hole.
1599
01:22:18,635 --> 01:22:21,535
Now, don't you worry.
Fifteen, fourteen,
1600
01:22:21,569 --> 01:22:25,269
thirteen, twelve, eleven,
1601
01:22:25,302 --> 01:22:29,334
ten, nine, eight--
1602
01:22:44,399 --> 01:22:46,698
Ten, nine, eight--
1603
01:22:46,731 --> 01:22:47,898
please,
we've never done--
1604
01:22:47,931 --> 01:22:49,265
could you show
a little confidence
1605
01:22:49,298 --> 01:22:51,531
in my ability
to handle this situation!
1606
01:22:51,565 --> 01:22:54,265
Ten, nine,
1607
01:22:54,297 --> 01:22:58,364
eight, seven, six,
1608
01:22:58,397 --> 01:23:02,229
five, four,
three, two,
1609
01:23:02,263 --> 01:23:03,895
one.
1610
01:23:08,362 --> 01:23:09,994
Oh, thank god.
1611
01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:11,595
What happened?
1612
01:23:11,628 --> 01:23:14,827
Nothing happened,
obviously.
1613
01:23:16,294 --> 01:23:18,461
Aah! Oh, my god!
1614
01:23:30,359 --> 01:23:32,459
Holy shit!
1615
01:23:36,591 --> 01:23:39,358
* ticlaw, ticlaw
1616
01:23:39,391 --> 01:23:43,357
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
1617
01:23:43,390 --> 01:23:45,690
* ticlaw, ticlaw
1618
01:23:45,723 --> 01:23:50,322
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
1619
01:24:06,686 --> 01:24:08,619
Ok, folks,
just slow it down.
1620
01:24:08,653 --> 01:24:09,986
We had a little
accident here.
1621
01:24:10,019 --> 01:24:12,253
Just follow
the smiling faces
1622
01:24:12,286 --> 01:24:13,253
right down to ticlaw.
1623
01:24:13,286 --> 01:24:15,418
What's the problem, pal?
We got to get to Miami.
1624
01:24:15,452 --> 01:24:16,452
You'll be in Miami
1625
01:24:16,485 --> 01:24:17,518
first thing
in the morning.
1626
01:24:17,552 --> 01:24:19,452
Just keep
right on going.
1627
01:24:19,485 --> 01:24:20,884
Welcome to ticlaw.
1628
01:24:20,917 --> 01:24:23,617
Welcome to ticlaw.
1629
01:24:42,249 --> 01:24:45,748
Welcome to the ticlaw inn,
everybody.
1630
01:24:45,781 --> 01:24:47,913
Come on, James.
Bring 'em in here.
1631
01:24:47,947 --> 01:24:50,713
You're doing a fine job.
Welcome.
1632
01:24:50,747 --> 01:24:52,880
It's very good
to see you.
1633
01:24:52,912 --> 01:24:53,979
Nice to see you.
1634
01:24:54,012 --> 01:24:58,679
Nice to see you.
Welcome, welcome.
1635
01:24:58,712 --> 01:25:00,978
All right.
1636
01:25:01,011 --> 01:25:03,212
An hour ago, I was
on my way to Miami,
1637
01:25:03,246 --> 01:25:04,511
and then this happened.
1638
01:25:04,545 --> 01:25:06,278
I don't want to
stay here.
1639
01:25:06,311 --> 01:25:07,711
Oh, come on.
1640
01:25:07,744 --> 01:25:10,278
This place
is great.
1641
01:25:13,377 --> 01:25:15,444
Eddie: She finds you
very attractive.
1642
01:25:15,477 --> 01:25:16,809
Brandon:
Do you know her?
1643
01:25:16,843 --> 01:25:17,643
Oh, yeah.
She's my sister.
1644
01:25:17,676 --> 01:25:21,243
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
She's my stepsister.
1645
01:25:21,276 --> 01:25:23,508
Oh!
1646
01:25:23,542 --> 01:25:25,308
Hello. My name's casual.
1647
01:25:25,342 --> 01:25:26,342
It's awfully
noisy in here.
1648
01:25:26,375 --> 01:25:28,208
Why don't you go
up to your room?
1649
01:25:28,242 --> 01:25:29,208
Just take him upstairs.
1650
01:25:29,242 --> 01:25:30,974
You don't like dogs,
do you?
1651
01:25:31,007 --> 01:25:34,507
No, actually,
I'm a cat man, myself.
1652
01:25:34,906 --> 01:25:37,740
Whoo! Watch it, baby!
1653
01:25:38,740 --> 01:25:40,773
* always drinking
my Brandy *
1654
01:25:40,806 --> 01:25:45,206
* everything is dandy
1655
01:25:45,240 --> 01:25:46,372
* cause i'm
1656
01:25:46,405 --> 01:25:47,272
* about as crazy as you
1657
01:25:47,305 --> 01:25:49,938
see that girl over
there? The one in white?
1658
01:25:49,971 --> 01:25:52,438
Osvaldo: Oh, yeah.
She's very pretty.
1659
01:25:52,471 --> 01:25:53,938
Oh, she likes you.
1660
01:25:53,970 --> 01:25:55,837
She likes me?
1661
01:25:55,870 --> 01:25:58,337
You see, I'm her doctor.
Psychiatrist.
1662
01:25:58,370 --> 01:25:59,237
She's crazy?
1663
01:25:59,270 --> 01:26:00,370
You'd be helping her.
1664
01:26:00,403 --> 01:26:04,702
In 5 minutes,
go over and talk to her.
1665
01:26:09,901 --> 01:26:13,701
Sherman: You've gotta have
a phrase--"ticlaw ticks."
1666
01:26:13,735 --> 01:26:14,601
Kirby: "Ticlaw ticks."
1667
01:26:14,635 --> 01:26:17,967
Sherm: Or, uh, "time
in ticlaw tantalizes."
1668
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:19,867
And show a picture
of a pretty girl.
1669
01:26:19,900 --> 01:26:21,534
See, it's
the association
1670
01:26:21,567 --> 01:26:23,267
of ideas
that counts.
1671
01:26:23,300 --> 01:26:24,699
Sell ticlaw
as a sort
1672
01:26:24,733 --> 01:26:26,933
of sexual oasis.
1673
01:26:26,966 --> 01:26:28,898
"Our time in ticlaw
was torrid."
1674
01:26:28,932 --> 01:26:32,266
Your husband certainly
knows his advertising.
1675
01:26:32,299 --> 01:26:33,365
Does he ever.
1676
01:26:33,398 --> 01:26:35,465
My sherm invented
bad breath.
1677
01:26:35,498 --> 01:26:38,298
Your husband
invented bad breath?
1678
01:26:38,332 --> 01:26:41,697
He fought for bad breath
for years and years,
1679
01:26:41,731 --> 01:26:43,431
and finally he got it.
1680
01:26:43,464 --> 01:26:46,330
Carol. You did one
brilliant thing, though,
1681
01:26:46,363 --> 01:26:47,896
and that was
to give everything
1682
01:26:47,930 --> 01:26:49,196
away for free.
1683
01:26:49,230 --> 01:26:50,162
You see,
he invented this test
1684
01:26:50,196 --> 01:26:51,962
where you put your hand
in front of your mouth
1685
01:26:51,995 --> 01:26:52,929
and you blow.
1686
01:26:52,962 --> 01:26:55,928
Now, what you're smelling
is not your breath.
1687
01:26:55,961 --> 01:26:58,495
What you're smelling
is your fingers.
1688
01:26:58,528 --> 01:26:59,728
Shut up, Carol.
1689
01:27:12,427 --> 01:27:15,192
Thank you very much.
1690
01:27:15,592 --> 01:27:19,558
Good--good evening.
1691
01:27:24,391 --> 01:27:26,824
Is your room
upstairs?
1692
01:27:26,857 --> 01:27:30,257
But of course.
1693
01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:35,289
Whoo-hoo!
1694
01:27:35,323 --> 01:27:37,556
All right!
1695
01:27:37,589 --> 01:27:40,289
All right!
1696
01:27:42,488 --> 01:27:45,222
We ain't seen nothin'
like this in years.
1697
01:27:45,255 --> 01:27:46,487
You gonna love it here.
1698
01:27:46,521 --> 01:27:49,321
Well, wasn't part
of the plan,
1699
01:27:49,354 --> 01:27:51,654
but it's a nice
little place, huh?
1700
01:27:51,687 --> 01:27:54,254
Hotels like this are
part of our heritage.
1701
01:27:54,287 --> 01:27:55,686
Yeah.
1702
01:27:55,720 --> 01:27:56,820
Honey--
1703
01:27:56,853 --> 01:28:00,320
look, uh,
how about tonight?
1704
01:28:00,353 --> 01:28:03,185
Tonight?
What about last night?
1705
01:28:03,219 --> 01:28:03,951
Tonight, too.
1706
01:28:03,984 --> 01:28:07,352
Look, I am on
vacation.
1707
01:28:07,385 --> 01:28:10,851
Hey, Carmen, what's
your favorite color?
1708
01:28:10,884 --> 01:28:14,318
I think the living room
should be done in beige.
1709
01:28:14,351 --> 01:28:15,683
I kind of like red.
1710
01:28:15,717 --> 01:28:17,217
Well, then,
reddish beige.
1711
01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:18,383
How about the bedroom?
What do you say?
1712
01:28:18,417 --> 01:28:20,217
Whoa, Duane.
I think we ought
1713
01:28:20,250 --> 01:28:21,582
to get to know
each other
1714
01:28:21,616 --> 01:28:22,449
a little better
1715
01:28:22,482 --> 01:28:24,216
before we start looking
at paint chips.
1716
01:28:24,249 --> 01:28:25,716
I mean, did it
ever occur to you
1717
01:28:25,748 --> 01:28:29,281
that this relationship
might not work out?
1718
01:28:29,315 --> 01:28:29,981
No.
1719
01:28:30,015 --> 01:28:31,681
Well, my heart
starts to pound
1720
01:28:31,715 --> 01:28:34,448
if I get within 50 miles
of an army base.
1721
01:28:34,480 --> 01:28:35,747
Trouble with you is
1722
01:28:35,780 --> 01:28:38,813
you don't know a sure thing
when you see one.
1723
01:28:42,280 --> 01:28:43,946
Oh, mama!
1724
01:28:43,979 --> 01:28:46,878
* oh, Carmen
1725
01:28:46,912 --> 01:28:50,378
* I love you so
1726
01:28:50,412 --> 01:28:54,212
* Carmen, Carmen, Carmen
I love you, love you *
1727
01:29:35,339 --> 01:29:37,505
Carmen?
1728
01:29:39,738 --> 01:29:41,305
Hmm.
1729
01:29:41,338 --> 01:29:43,870
Carmen: Ooh!
1730
01:29:44,804 --> 01:29:47,237
Carmen?
1731
01:29:51,369 --> 01:29:53,835
Huh.
1732
01:30:01,202 --> 01:30:02,535
Come along. Come along.
1733
01:30:02,567 --> 01:30:04,467
Zoo.
1734
01:30:04,501 --> 01:30:05,234
Zoo.
1735
01:30:05,267 --> 01:30:09,167
Right over here,
we have our lion.
1736
01:30:09,201 --> 01:30:10,466
Oh! Oh!
1737
01:30:10,500 --> 01:30:12,533
Can you say "lion"?
1738
01:30:12,566 --> 01:30:14,166
Children: Lion.
1739
01:30:15,699 --> 01:30:17,599
And next, over here,
1740
01:30:17,632 --> 01:30:19,532
we have our elephant.
1741
01:30:19,565 --> 01:30:21,265
All: Elephant.
1742
01:30:21,299 --> 01:30:22,798
Bubbles.
1743
01:30:22,831 --> 01:30:27,798
Did you know that bubbles
can water ski?
1744
01:30:33,630 --> 01:30:37,197
Here we have
our pony.
1745
01:30:38,197 --> 01:30:44,229
If you like, you can
reach up and pet her.
1746
01:30:46,961 --> 01:30:47,861
No licky!
1747
01:30:47,895 --> 01:30:51,361
No licky!
No! No licky!
1748
01:30:51,394 --> 01:30:53,294
No licky!
1749
01:30:56,893 --> 01:30:59,326
Come back!
1750
01:31:09,258 --> 01:31:10,425
How do. Ticlaw inn.
1751
01:31:10,458 --> 01:31:12,857
I'm sorry,
we're all booked up.
1752
01:31:12,891 --> 01:31:14,391
Oh, yes.
1753
01:31:14,424 --> 01:31:15,657
One moment.
1754
01:31:15,691 --> 01:31:18,291
Kirby!
1755
01:31:21,290 --> 01:31:22,323
It's the governor.
1756
01:31:22,356 --> 01:31:25,256
Tell him I'll take it
in the office.
1757
01:31:25,290 --> 01:31:30,189
Uh, Mr. Calo
will be right with you.
1758
01:31:33,222 --> 01:31:34,788
Hello, your honor.
1759
01:31:34,821 --> 01:31:36,753
Is this Kirby calo?
1760
01:31:36,787 --> 01:31:37,421
Yes, sir.
1761
01:31:37,454 --> 01:31:40,188
Mr. Calo,
what do you intend
1762
01:31:40,221 --> 01:31:42,287
doing with your hostages?
1763
01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:43,187
Hostages?
1764
01:31:43,220 --> 01:31:44,752
We don't intend doing
anything with them.
1765
01:31:44,786 --> 01:31:47,219
We got no real use
for 'em.
1766
01:31:48,352 --> 01:31:50,885
What was that?
What was that noise?
1767
01:31:50,918 --> 01:31:54,418
Well, that's just
the game room, sir.
1768
01:31:55,351 --> 01:32:00,285
Game room? He's got 'em
locked up in a game room.
1769
01:32:00,317 --> 01:32:02,784
Well, we would like
to talk to you.
1770
01:32:02,817 --> 01:32:05,184
Sure. We'd love
to meet.
1771
01:32:05,217 --> 01:32:06,184
Remember attica?
1772
01:32:06,217 --> 01:32:07,383
Never give in to demands.
Don't meet with them.
1773
01:32:07,416 --> 01:32:08,116
Shut the fuck up.
1774
01:32:08,149 --> 01:32:10,915
Uh, where did you
want to meet?
1775
01:32:10,948 --> 01:32:13,448
How about right down
the center of ticlaw?
1776
01:32:13,482 --> 01:32:14,115
You'll find it.
1777
01:32:14,149 --> 01:32:15,882
It's the town
with no exit.
1778
01:32:15,915 --> 01:32:17,715
We'll do just that.
1779
01:32:17,747 --> 01:32:19,814
If we ever
1780
01:32:19,847 --> 01:32:21,581
get this thing
worked out properly,
1781
01:32:21,614 --> 01:32:24,481
I will see to it that
you work in the post office
1782
01:32:24,514 --> 01:32:28,181
for the rest
of your natural life!
1783
01:32:29,880 --> 01:32:32,480
Hi, little Billy. Have
you seen your daddy?
1784
01:32:32,513 --> 01:32:34,280
No.
You haven't?
1785
01:32:34,312 --> 01:32:34,945
No.
1786
01:32:34,979 --> 01:32:38,111
I'll kill ya!
I'll kill ya!
1787
01:32:47,610 --> 01:32:50,610
Boy, was that ever
worth it. Thank you.
1788
01:32:50,643 --> 01:32:52,709
Good. Come again.
1789
01:32:52,742 --> 01:32:54,476
I gotta go
change my shirt.
1790
01:32:54,509 --> 01:32:56,309
Ok? Ok.
1791
01:32:56,342 --> 01:32:57,108
Hi.
1792
01:32:57,142 --> 01:32:59,142
Hi. Haven't we met
somewhere before?
1793
01:32:59,176 --> 01:33:01,242
I don't think
it was my station.
1794
01:33:01,276 --> 01:33:03,541
'Cause I'm your mother.
You do what I tell you.
1795
01:33:03,575 --> 01:33:08,275
No, you're not gonna
play anymore. No.
1796
01:33:11,540 --> 01:33:14,274
Billy: I'm gonna go
and play with the gun.
1797
01:33:15,473 --> 01:33:17,173
Bye.
1798
01:33:17,206 --> 01:33:18,739
Bye.
1799
01:33:23,205 --> 01:33:25,738
So, uh, how would
you like
1800
01:33:25,771 --> 01:33:26,704
to go up to the room
1801
01:33:26,737 --> 01:33:29,172
and, uh, just
be alone together?
1802
01:33:29,205 --> 01:33:30,704
You and I?
1803
01:33:30,737 --> 01:33:34,636
Well, I'm a little tired
right now, honey.
1804
01:33:34,670 --> 01:33:37,536
Hungry, too. Hungry.
1805
01:33:37,570 --> 01:33:39,336
Hungry?
1806
01:33:42,270 --> 01:33:43,735
* you dance so good
1807
01:33:43,769 --> 01:33:46,269
* so maybe we should
1808
01:33:46,302 --> 01:33:48,435
* do it again
1809
01:33:48,468 --> 01:33:49,202
* do it again,
again *
1810
01:33:49,235 --> 01:33:51,901
* you do the things
that you do *
1811
01:33:56,700 --> 01:33:58,533
* come on
1812
01:33:58,567 --> 01:34:00,732
* come on
1813
01:34:06,599 --> 01:34:08,598
Whoa!
1814
01:34:08,631 --> 01:34:10,365
Get down, sister!
1815
01:34:14,298 --> 01:34:16,764
You must come with me
immediately.
1816
01:34:16,797 --> 01:34:19,597
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
1817
01:34:19,630 --> 01:34:20,863
Absolute disgrace!
1818
01:34:20,896 --> 01:34:22,197
I was only dancing.
1819
01:34:22,230 --> 01:34:23,197
When are you
going to learn
1820
01:34:23,230 --> 01:34:24,229
that you are
a bride of Christ?
1821
01:34:24,263 --> 01:34:26,263
If Jesus is such
a good husband,
1822
01:34:26,296 --> 01:34:29,196
why won't he let me
dance a little?
1823
01:34:29,229 --> 01:34:31,195
Carmen!
1824
01:34:37,394 --> 01:34:39,627
Come with me.
1825
01:34:41,926 --> 01:34:43,526
Kneel.
1826
01:34:43,560 --> 01:34:45,560
Ow!
1827
01:34:45,593 --> 01:34:48,692
Up. Down.
1828
01:34:48,725 --> 01:34:51,126
Carmen?
1829
01:34:51,160 --> 01:34:53,125
Carmen?
1830
01:34:53,159 --> 01:34:55,392
Up. Down.
1831
01:34:55,425 --> 01:34:56,891
Up. Down. Up.
1832
01:34:56,924 --> 01:34:58,724
Pardon me.
1833
01:35:28,254 --> 01:35:30,254
Governor: Where is he?
1834
01:35:30,287 --> 01:35:32,786
I don't see anybody.
1835
01:35:32,819 --> 01:35:34,119
Or anything.
1836
01:35:34,153 --> 01:35:36,718
It's eerie.
1837
01:35:36,752 --> 01:35:38,618
It's a trap.
1838
01:35:41,185 --> 01:35:45,285
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Stop the car.
1839
01:35:48,451 --> 01:35:49,251
Answer it.
1840
01:35:49,284 --> 01:35:51,217
It's not for me.
No one knows I'm here.
1841
01:35:51,251 --> 01:35:53,516
Answer the phone!
1842
01:35:59,282 --> 01:36:02,115
Hello? Uh-huh.
1843
01:36:02,149 --> 01:36:04,415
Uh-huh.
1844
01:36:10,514 --> 01:36:12,713
They said, get out
of the cars
1845
01:36:12,747 --> 01:36:13,380
and meet them
1846
01:36:13,413 --> 01:36:16,079
in the middle
of the street.
1847
01:36:58,241 --> 01:37:00,207
It's a pleasure
to meet you, your honor.
1848
01:37:00,241 --> 01:37:01,340
What do you want?
1849
01:37:01,373 --> 01:37:04,772
Well, we want what we always
wanted from the beginning--
1850
01:37:04,805 --> 01:37:06,173
an exit for ticlaw.
1851
01:37:06,206 --> 01:37:07,605
Well, taking hostages
1852
01:37:07,639 --> 01:37:09,839
is not the way
to go about it.
1853
01:37:09,872 --> 01:37:10,672
Well, we tried bribery,
1854
01:37:10,705 --> 01:37:13,538
but that didn't work.
Right, Mr. Kirk?
1855
01:37:13,571 --> 01:37:15,404
You still got
the ten thou?
1856
01:37:15,438 --> 01:37:17,138
It's around somewhere.
1857
01:37:17,171 --> 01:37:18,803
This is worse
than Watergate.
1858
01:37:18,837 --> 01:37:19,737
Shut up.
1859
01:37:19,770 --> 01:37:22,137
We will never give in
to your demands, ever.
1860
01:37:22,170 --> 01:37:23,303
You cannot force US--
1861
01:37:26,536 --> 01:37:28,369
What in the world
are you doing
1862
01:37:28,402 --> 01:37:29,802
to those poor tourists?
1863
01:37:29,836 --> 01:37:32,402
Oh, we're just showing them
a real good time.
1864
01:37:32,436 --> 01:37:35,601
Oh. And if
I don't give in?
1865
01:37:35,635 --> 01:37:38,834
I understand you're running
for reelection, governor.
1866
01:37:38,867 --> 01:37:40,268
Sir, I cannot
participate
1867
01:37:40,301 --> 01:37:41,534
in a cover-up.
1868
01:37:41,567 --> 01:37:42,800
I point to
Watergate--
1869
01:37:42,834 --> 01:37:45,200
shut up.
Shut...Up.
1870
01:37:46,200 --> 01:37:49,533
Ok. Have you got it,
Mr. Kirk?
1871
01:37:49,566 --> 01:37:51,333
Yeah.
1872
01:38:10,896 --> 01:38:13,096
You know,
it's a terrible thing
1873
01:38:13,130 --> 01:38:15,462
when you pay for something
and you don't get it.
1874
01:38:15,495 --> 01:38:18,329
Makes you wonder
who you can trust.
1875
01:38:18,362 --> 01:38:21,494
Me. You can trust me.
1876
01:38:21,528 --> 01:38:23,194
I deliver.
1877
01:38:23,228 --> 01:38:28,094
That was my campaign
slogan-- "I deliver."
1878
01:38:35,227 --> 01:38:38,792
Gentlemen,
I think Mr. Calo
1879
01:38:38,826 --> 01:38:42,092
deserves an exit.
1880
01:38:51,257 --> 01:38:53,590
Ohh!
1881
01:38:54,789 --> 01:38:57,223
Oh-ho!
1882
01:39:03,788 --> 01:39:06,422
Go on, take it.
1883
01:39:11,487 --> 01:39:14,354
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1884
01:39:14,387 --> 01:39:17,486
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1885
01:39:17,520 --> 01:39:21,752
* they don't give a damn
they don't understand *
1886
01:39:21,785 --> 01:39:24,120
* going faster, faster
1887
01:39:24,153 --> 01:39:26,585
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1888
01:39:26,619 --> 01:39:29,484
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1889
01:39:29,518 --> 01:39:33,384
* they don't give a damn
slam, bam *
1890
01:39:33,418 --> 01:39:35,451
* thank you, ma'am
1891
01:39:35,484 --> 01:39:38,483
hey, isn't that
sister Mary Magdalen?
1892
01:39:38,517 --> 01:39:40,283
Yes.
1893
01:39:40,317 --> 01:39:41,217
Where's she going?
1894
01:39:41,250 --> 01:39:44,416
To hell, I'm afraid.
1895
01:39:44,449 --> 01:39:45,249
* thank you, ma'am
1896
01:39:45,282 --> 01:39:47,216
* when you're out there
on the road *
1897
01:39:47,249 --> 01:39:48,382
* and you're feeling
good and slow *
1898
01:39:48,416 --> 01:39:51,182
* 'cause you're holding back
your feelings every mile *
1899
01:39:51,216 --> 01:39:52,615
* and the world
you're living in *
1900
01:39:52,648 --> 01:39:54,348
* don't make no sense
don't make you grin *
1901
01:39:54,381 --> 01:39:57,081
* it's even hard
to try to smile *
1902
01:39:57,115 --> 01:39:58,647
* and the faces
that you see *
1903
01:39:58,680 --> 01:40:00,180
* they don't relate
to you or me *
1904
01:40:00,214 --> 01:40:01,580
* I swear,
I really disagree *
1905
01:40:01,614 --> 01:40:03,447
* what nature meant
for me to be *
1906
01:40:03,480 --> 01:40:04,347
* I find it much too tough
1907
01:40:04,379 --> 01:40:06,113
* this road is getting
much too rough *
1908
01:40:06,146 --> 01:40:08,079
* I say enough is enough
is enough *
1909
01:40:08,113 --> 01:40:10,845
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1910
01:40:10,878 --> 01:40:13,578
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1911
01:40:13,612 --> 01:40:17,345
* they don't give a damn
or understand *
1912
01:40:17,378 --> 01:40:19,444
* going faster, faster
1913
01:40:19,477 --> 01:40:22,444
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1914
01:40:22,477 --> 01:40:25,177
* everybody's going
faster, faster *
1915
01:40:25,211 --> 01:40:29,210
* ooh, they don't give
a damn slam, bam *
1916
01:40:29,243 --> 01:40:31,143
* thank you, ma'am
1917
01:40:31,176 --> 01:40:33,475
* oh, thank you, ma'am
1918
01:40:33,509 --> 01:40:36,142
* oh, no, no, no
1919
01:40:36,175 --> 01:40:38,209
* no
1920
01:40:38,242 --> 01:40:40,308
* slam, bam
no!
1921
01:40:40,341 --> 01:40:43,108
Oh, no!
1922
01:40:44,441 --> 01:40:49,140
Oh, no!
1923
01:41:26,801 --> 01:41:29,734
Man: Wow! How did this
happen, anyway?
1924
01:41:29,767 --> 01:41:30,766
Second man: Did anybody
see this?
1925
01:41:30,800 --> 01:41:35,366
I saw the whole thing
through my rearview mirror.
1926
01:41:36,865 --> 01:41:38,366
Whoa!
1927
01:41:38,400 --> 01:41:40,133
A lion!
1928
01:41:47,298 --> 01:41:52,663
Aah! Ow! Aah!
1929
01:41:55,697 --> 01:41:58,397
Hey, want to go to Miami?
1930
01:41:59,430 --> 01:42:01,729
* the highway
stretches out-- *
1931
01:42:01,762 --> 01:42:04,728
oh, no!
1932
01:42:04,761 --> 01:42:09,761
* it tells a simple story
everyone can understand *
1933
01:42:09,795 --> 01:42:13,195
* it's just
a concrete river *
1934
01:42:13,228 --> 01:42:14,694
* reaching toward the sea
1935
01:42:14,727 --> 01:42:16,394
Billy, please,
it's not funny!
1936
01:42:16,427 --> 01:42:18,127
Come on, mom, please.
1937
01:42:18,160 --> 01:42:19,327
Help me.
Somebody, please!
1938
01:42:19,360 --> 01:42:21,726
* it's like
home sweet home to me *
1939
01:42:21,759 --> 01:42:24,792
* it's a honky tonk freeway
1940
01:42:24,825 --> 01:42:28,159
* it's america on wheels
1941
01:42:28,193 --> 01:42:31,125
* motel rooms,
neon lights *
1942
01:42:31,158 --> 01:42:34,424
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
1943
01:42:34,457 --> 01:42:37,491
* and it's windin'
cross the country *
1944
01:42:37,524 --> 01:42:41,157
* just as far
as you can see *
1945
01:42:41,191 --> 01:42:44,590
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
1946
01:42:44,623 --> 01:42:46,123
I'm sittin up front!
1947
01:42:46,156 --> 01:42:48,256
* that's where
I wanna be *
1948
01:42:48,290 --> 01:42:49,090
* that's where
I wanna be *
1949
01:42:49,123 --> 01:42:52,089
* well, it's
a honky tonk freeway *
1950
01:42:52,122 --> 01:42:54,255
* it's paradise on wheels
1951
01:42:54,289 --> 01:42:56,454
it's a miracle!
1952
01:42:56,488 --> 01:42:59,154
* hotel rooms,
neon lights *
1953
01:42:59,188 --> 01:43:00,254
my money, my money!
1954
01:43:00,288 --> 01:43:02,054
* drive-in,
drive-out meals *
1955
01:43:02,088 --> 01:43:05,220
* well, it's windin
cross the country *
1956
01:43:05,253 --> 01:43:08,387
* just as far
as you can see *
1957
01:43:09,120 --> 01:43:12,519
* on the honky tonk
freeway *
1958
01:43:12,552 --> 01:43:16,785
* that's where I wanna be
1959
01:43:19,651 --> 01:43:22,384
All right!
All right! Whoo!
1960
01:43:23,684 --> 01:43:28,350
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
1961
01:43:28,384 --> 01:43:30,150
* ticlaw
1962
01:43:30,184 --> 01:43:33,616
* ticlaw, ticlaw
1963
01:43:33,649 --> 01:43:37,748
* wonderful, beautiful
part of heaven *
1964
01:43:37,782 --> 01:43:41,048
* ticlaw, ticlaw
1965
01:43:41,082 --> 01:43:46,514
* wonderful,
beautiful town *
1966
01:43:49,081 --> 01:43:51,713
captioning made possible by
lions gate entertainment
1967
01:43:51,746 --> 01:43:56,379
captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
132110
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