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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,089 --> 00:00:28,752 � I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth � 2 00:00:28,859 --> 00:00:32,056 � You know, that Gypsy with the gold-capped tooth � 3 00:00:32,129 --> 00:00:35,826 � She's got a pad on 34th and Vine � 4 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:38,198 � Sellin' little bottles of � 5 00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:41,830 � Love Potion Number Nine � 6 00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:47,237 � I told her that I was a flop with chicks � 7 00:00:47,311 --> 00:00:50,405 � I've been this way since 1956 � 8 00:00:50,481 --> 00:00:52,278 � She looked at my palm � 9 00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:54,341 � And she made a magic sign � 10 00:00:54,418 --> 00:00:56,716 � She said, What you need is � 11 00:00:56,821 --> 00:01:00,450 � Love Potion Number Nine � 12 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:03,820 � She bent down and turned around � 13 00:01:03,894 --> 00:01:05,191 � And gave me a wink � 14 00:01:05,262 --> 00:01:07,423 � She said, I'm gonna mix it up � 15 00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:08,965 � Right here in the sink � 16 00:01:09,033 --> 00:01:10,694 � It smelled like turpentine � 17 00:01:10,768 --> 00:01:12,633 � It looked like india ink � 18 00:01:12,703 --> 00:01:15,103 � I held my nose, I closed my eyes � 19 00:01:15,172 --> 00:01:17,072 � I took a drink � 20 00:01:17,141 --> 00:01:20,668 � I didn't know if it was day or night � 21 00:01:20,745 --> 00:01:23,839 � I started kissin' everything in sight � 22 00:01:23,914 --> 00:01:25,609 � But when I kissed a cop � 23 00:01:25,683 --> 00:01:27,810 � At 34th and Vine � 24 00:01:27,885 --> 00:01:30,149 � He broke my little bottle of � 25 00:01:30,221 --> 00:01:34,157 � Love Potion Number Nine � 26 00:01:46,237 --> 00:01:48,432 � I held my nose, I closed my eyes � 27 00:01:48,506 --> 00:01:50,269 � I took a drink � 28 00:01:50,341 --> 00:01:54,004 � I didn't know if it was day or night � 29 00:01:54,078 --> 00:01:57,172 � I started kissin' everything in sight � 30 00:01:57,248 --> 00:01:58,977 � But when I kissed a cop � 31 00:01:59,049 --> 00:02:00,880 � At 34th and Vine � 32 00:02:00,951 --> 00:02:03,385 � He broke my little bottle of � 33 00:02:03,487 --> 00:02:07,548 � Love Potion Number Nine � 34 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:21,838 � I held my nose, I closed my eyes � 35 00:02:21,906 --> 00:02:23,567 � I took a drink � 36 00:02:23,641 --> 00:02:27,270 � I didn't know if it was day or night � 37 00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:30,575 � I started kissin' everything in sight � 38 00:02:30,648 --> 00:02:32,377 � But when I kissed a cop � 39 00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,247 � At 34th and Vine � 40 00:02:34,318 --> 00:02:36,786 � He broke my little bottle of � 41 00:02:36,887 --> 00:02:40,379 � Love Potion Number Nine � 42 00:02:40,558 --> 00:02:41,525 � Love Potion... � 43 00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:57,740 About once a month, 44 00:02:57,808 --> 00:02:59,742 my friends and I get together 45 00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:02,176 and do something different for fun. 46 00:03:02,246 --> 00:03:03,679 Sometimes we go bowling 47 00:03:03,747 --> 00:03:05,146 or miniature golf 48 00:03:05,216 --> 00:03:07,150 or a movie or something. 49 00:03:07,218 --> 00:03:08,242 One night, 50 00:03:08,319 --> 00:03:11,220 we went down to a Gypsy palm reader 51 00:03:11,322 --> 00:03:13,256 on 34th and Vine. 52 00:03:17,895 --> 00:03:19,829 Let me see your palm. 53 00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:44,621 You do very badly with women. 54 00:03:45,689 --> 00:03:48,556 No. I... I... I... I do all right. 55 00:03:48,626 --> 00:03:50,059 No, you don't. 56 00:03:50,127 --> 00:03:52,061 There are no women here. 57 00:03:55,566 --> 00:03:56,897 What's this? 58 00:04:00,638 --> 00:04:01,570 No women. 59 00:04:02,573 --> 00:04:04,632 Are you a boy-kissy-boy? 60 00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:06,733 Excuse me? 61 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,334 You a homosexual? 62 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,579 No. 63 00:04:11,649 --> 00:04:14,584 I want my sister to see this. 64 00:04:23,661 --> 00:04:25,094 No, I don't. 65 00:04:25,162 --> 00:04:26,094 No. 66 00:04:26,163 --> 00:04:29,098 I see no women in your life 67 00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:31,498 for a long, long time. 68 00:04:31,569 --> 00:04:32,900 Maybe... 69 00:04:35,105 --> 00:04:36,663 forever. 70 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:38,799 Well, that's kind of depressing. 71 00:04:38,876 --> 00:04:40,309 Yes, it is. 72 00:04:40,377 --> 00:04:43,210 But I have something for you. 73 00:05:06,971 --> 00:05:08,404 Let me see. 74 00:05:08,472 --> 00:05:09,404 Number 17, 75 00:05:09,473 --> 00:05:11,407 number 13. 76 00:05:11,475 --> 00:05:13,670 Where the hell is it? 77 00:05:13,744 --> 00:05:15,439 Ahh. 78 00:05:15,512 --> 00:05:17,377 Number eight. 79 00:05:18,749 --> 00:05:20,546 This is what you need. 80 00:05:22,519 --> 00:05:24,953 Dilute this with water 1,000 to 1. 81 00:05:25,055 --> 00:05:27,489 You don't want it to be too strong. 82 00:05:27,558 --> 00:05:30,493 You take a sip, and you swallow. 83 00:05:30,561 --> 00:05:31,994 And when you speak, 84 00:05:32,062 --> 00:05:34,929 women will find you fascinating. 85 00:05:34,999 --> 00:05:37,399 I'm a biochemist. 86 00:06:03,293 --> 00:06:04,726 You take this. 87 00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:07,758 You'll be back. 88 00:06:09,299 --> 00:06:11,733 So, tell me, there was this woman 89 00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:14,236 I saw you having lunch with the other day. 90 00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:15,293 Huh? 91 00:06:15,372 --> 00:06:17,772 She's just... just somebody I work with. 92 00:06:17,841 --> 00:06:18,808 Uh-huh. 93 00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:20,673 Were there any romantic possibilities? 94 00:06:22,713 --> 00:06:23,645 No. 95 00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:24,612 No? 96 00:06:25,849 --> 00:06:27,009 Why not? 97 00:06:28,218 --> 00:06:29,651 No, you see, I'm... 98 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,620 She's, um, she's not my type. 99 00:06:31,722 --> 00:06:33,155 Oh, she's not your type. 100 00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:34,656 That was a lie. 101 00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:37,159 Except for the fact that she had 102 00:06:37,227 --> 00:06:38,660 kind of a boyfriend, 103 00:06:38,729 --> 00:06:40,196 Diane was exactly my type. 104 00:06:40,297 --> 00:06:43,232 I'm a comparative psychobiologist. 105 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,097 I put, uh, primates... 106 00:06:45,169 --> 00:06:46,602 chimpanzees... through tests. 107 00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:49,104 I note the behavior of the subject, 108 00:06:49,173 --> 00:06:51,733 and I hope the results are analogous to humans. 109 00:06:51,809 --> 00:06:54,437 Do you put electrical things in their brains? 110 00:06:54,511 --> 00:06:55,637 No. 111 00:06:55,713 --> 00:06:56,645 No. 112 00:06:56,714 --> 00:06:58,614 But that's done, isn't it? 113 00:06:58,682 --> 00:06:59,614 Yes. 114 00:07:00,684 --> 00:07:01,810 Why? 115 00:07:01,885 --> 00:07:03,318 You can measure electrical activity, 116 00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:05,854 or, with a minute amount of current, 117 00:07:05,923 --> 00:07:08,289 you can stimulate a feeling or... or a thought. 118 00:07:08,358 --> 00:07:09,985 You can stimulate a feeling? 119 00:07:10,094 --> 00:07:11,026 Yes. 120 00:07:11,095 --> 00:07:12,027 For example, 121 00:07:12,096 --> 00:07:13,529 there was this experiment 122 00:07:13,597 --> 00:07:15,531 where an electrode was planted 123 00:07:15,599 --> 00:07:18,534 in the pleasure center of a monkey's brain. 124 00:07:18,602 --> 00:07:21,036 When the monkey hit a button, 125 00:07:21,105 --> 00:07:24,040 it sent a signal to the electrode, 126 00:07:24,108 --> 00:07:27,009 in effect exciting the monkey sexually. 127 00:07:27,077 --> 00:07:28,009 You're kidding. 128 00:07:28,078 --> 00:07:29,136 No. 129 00:07:29,213 --> 00:07:31,147 Can you guess what happened? 130 00:07:31,215 --> 00:07:32,773 Was it a male monkey? 131 00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:34,112 Yes. 132 00:07:34,184 --> 00:07:36,652 He slammed the button till he died. 133 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,984 Oh, so, you know this experiment. 134 00:07:39,089 --> 00:07:40,886 I know men, honey. 135 00:07:42,059 --> 00:07:42,991 Oh, stop. 136 00:07:45,763 --> 00:07:49,199 I think she is definitely Paul's type. 137 00:07:49,266 --> 00:07:50,699 She's got that, uh... 138 00:07:50,768 --> 00:07:52,497 je ne sais quoi, 139 00:07:52,569 --> 00:07:53,501 that, uh... 140 00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:55,003 Very sexy girl. 141 00:07:55,072 --> 00:07:57,506 You should go talk to her. 142 00:07:57,574 --> 00:07:58,506 Really. 143 00:07:58,575 --> 00:08:00,008 You should do it. 144 00:08:02,713 --> 00:08:03,645 Do it. 145 00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:05,113 I don't know her. 146 00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:06,615 Well, that is the point. 147 00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:08,116 You go talk to her, 148 00:08:08,185 --> 00:08:09,618 then you'll know her. 149 00:08:09,686 --> 00:08:12,120 Well, maybe she doesn't want to talk to anybody. 150 00:08:12,222 --> 00:08:13,154 Maybe. 151 00:08:13,223 --> 00:08:14,656 Maybe she does, huh? 152 00:08:14,725 --> 00:08:16,659 You got to keep taking chances, 153 00:08:16,727 --> 00:08:18,160 keep rolling the dice 154 00:08:18,228 --> 00:08:21,095 till you find someone who does want to talk. 155 00:08:21,165 --> 00:08:22,359 Expert advice. 156 00:08:22,432 --> 00:08:23,364 Go. 157 00:08:23,433 --> 00:08:24,991 Go. 158 00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:26,831 I'll tell you what. 159 00:08:26,904 --> 00:08:30,340 I'll pay you $20 to go talk to her. 160 00:08:32,276 --> 00:08:34,676 $20.Just go talk to her. 161 00:08:34,745 --> 00:08:35,837 No. 162 00:08:37,714 --> 00:08:38,942 $40. 163 00:08:40,017 --> 00:08:42,417 I don't want to do it. 164 00:08:42,486 --> 00:08:43,578 $60. 165 00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:46,756 $80. 166 00:08:48,592 --> 00:08:49,957 $100? 167 00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:54,663 Oh, O.K., O.K. 168 00:09:16,119 --> 00:09:19,680 � Born to lose � 169 00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:21,382 � I've lived my... � 170 00:09:21,491 --> 00:09:23,425 He trapped me by the bathroom. 171 00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:25,427 He keeps me by the bathroom. 172 00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:26,928 He won't let me pass. 173 00:09:26,997 --> 00:09:28,430 Can you believe it? 174 00:09:28,498 --> 00:09:30,932 It's just one ugly geek after another 175 00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:32,662 in this place. 176 00:09:32,736 --> 00:09:34,931 If one more of these Radio Shack clerks... 177 00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:35,937 Hi. Hi. 178 00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:36,938 Hi. 179 00:09:37,007 --> 00:09:37,939 Uh-oh. 180 00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:39,441 I don't believe this. 181 00:09:39,509 --> 00:09:40,669 Can I, uh, uh, 182 00:09:40,744 --> 00:09:43,178 can I buy you a drink? 183 00:09:43,247 --> 00:09:45,647 Can I ask you a question? 184 00:09:45,716 --> 00:09:46,944 Sure. 185 00:09:47,017 --> 00:09:49,451 Why do you think I'd be interested in you? 186 00:09:49,519 --> 00:09:51,953 Did I look at you or smile at you? 187 00:09:52,055 --> 00:09:53,488 Did I flirt with you? 188 00:09:53,557 --> 00:09:54,717 No. 189 00:09:54,825 --> 00:09:57,191 Well, then what makes you think I'd be interested? 190 00:09:57,261 --> 00:09:59,695 Are you somebody special? Is that it? 191 00:09:59,763 --> 00:10:01,697 Do you do something really fascinating? 192 00:10:01,765 --> 00:10:04,199 What do you do for a living? 193 00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:06,202 Uh, I'm... I'm a biochemist. 194 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:09,262 Do I look like a biochemist groupie? 195 00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:13,002 Well, biochemists don't have groupies. 196 00:10:13,076 --> 00:10:15,271 Why do you think that is? 197 00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:18,644 Well, it's not a very glamorous job. 198 00:10:18,715 --> 00:10:22,481 No, it's not one of your drop-dead glamorous jobs. 199 00:10:22,552 --> 00:10:23,849 I mean, 200 00:10:23,921 --> 00:10:27,186 I'm sure that you find chemicals very fascinating, 201 00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:29,725 but do I look like somebody who'd be interested 202 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:30,725 in a... 203 00:10:30,794 --> 00:10:31,726 a... a... 204 00:10:31,795 --> 00:10:33,695 a chemical person? 205 00:10:35,732 --> 00:10:37,165 No. Hey, wait. 206 00:10:37,234 --> 00:10:39,168 I'm doing this for your benefit. 207 00:10:39,236 --> 00:10:41,670 I mean, you wouldn't want this to happen again, 208 00:10:41,738 --> 00:10:42,864 would you? 209 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:44,737 No. 210 00:10:44,808 --> 00:10:46,742 No. What's very obvious to me 211 00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:48,243 is not to you. 212 00:10:48,312 --> 00:10:49,745 Look at your clothes 213 00:10:49,813 --> 00:10:51,212 and then look at mine. 214 00:10:51,281 --> 00:10:54,182 Do you see any kind of a difference here? 215 00:10:54,251 --> 00:10:55,684 Clothes aren't important to you, 216 00:10:55,752 --> 00:10:57,185 but they're important to me. 217 00:10:57,287 --> 00:10:58,686 Taste is very important. 218 00:10:58,789 --> 00:11:01,223 I like designer clothes. I like nice things. 219 00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:03,759 I drive a BMW. What about you? 220 00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:06,226 Uh, I drive a Volkswagen. 221 00:11:07,731 --> 00:11:09,164 - Fahrvergnugen. - Fahrvergnugen. 222 00:11:09,232 --> 00:11:11,200 You know what that really means? 223 00:11:11,268 --> 00:11:12,792 Can't afford the Mercedes. 224 00:11:15,272 --> 00:11:16,705 Well, you're right. 225 00:11:16,773 --> 00:11:19,708 We're not really suited for each other, 226 00:11:19,776 --> 00:11:21,710 and, uh, so I'll just go 227 00:11:21,778 --> 00:11:24,212 and get myself a chemical girl. 228 00:11:24,281 --> 00:11:25,179 I'm sorry. 229 00:11:25,248 --> 00:11:27,910 I was just trying to make a point. 230 00:11:27,985 --> 00:11:29,418 I tell you what. 231 00:11:29,486 --> 00:11:31,420 I'll go home with you tonight 232 00:11:31,521 --> 00:11:34,046 and be your total sex slave... 233 00:11:35,225 --> 00:11:38,661 if you can answer one question correctly. 234 00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:40,390 Ahem. 235 00:11:40,464 --> 00:11:41,795 All right. 236 00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:43,423 Who designed this top? 237 00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:48,303 I wouldn't know. 238 00:11:49,806 --> 00:11:52,275 Bye-bye, now. 239 00:11:52,409 --> 00:11:54,206 [Engine Rattling] 240 00:12:02,252 --> 00:12:04,186 [Police Radio] 241 00:12:07,357 --> 00:12:09,621 [Rattling] 242 00:12:15,432 --> 00:12:18,765 You're supposed to come to a complete stop at the sign. 243 00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:21,099 Can I see your driver's license, your registration, 244 00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:23,105 your proof of insurance, please? 245 00:12:23,173 --> 00:12:24,265 Yeah. 246 00:12:24,341 --> 00:12:27,208 What the hell kind of car is this? 247 00:12:27,277 --> 00:12:29,074 It's an Alta Pazzoli. 248 00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,274 My car s-stalls 249 00:12:35,385 --> 00:12:37,819 unless I keep my... my foot on the gas, 250 00:12:37,888 --> 00:12:41,517 and I was just trying to get... 251 00:12:41,591 --> 00:12:44,025 I've already had two moving violations this year, 252 00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:48,030 and if I get a third, they might cancel my insurance, so... 253 00:12:48,098 --> 00:12:51,226 do you think that maybe you could... 254 00:12:51,301 --> 00:12:53,235 please make this a warning? 255 00:12:54,304 --> 00:12:56,670 Is this your correct address? 256 00:12:58,041 --> 00:12:58,973 Yeah. 257 00:13:00,143 --> 00:13:02,008 [Engine Backfiring And Sputtering] 258 00:13:15,092 --> 00:13:16,684 [Engine Backfires] 259 00:13:32,943 --> 00:13:33,875 Hello. 260 00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:35,673 You have zero messages. 261 00:13:38,648 --> 00:13:39,580 Hello. 262 00:13:39,649 --> 00:13:41,276 You have zero messages. 263 00:13:49,759 --> 00:13:52,125 [Classical Music Plays] 264 00:13:52,195 --> 00:13:54,356 [Same Classical Music Plays] 265 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,132 Bad. 266 00:13:58,201 --> 00:13:59,634 This is bad. 267 00:13:59,703 --> 00:14:00,635 Bad. 268 00:14:00,704 --> 00:14:01,932 Bad. 269 00:14:02,005 --> 00:14:02,937 Bad. 270 00:14:05,208 --> 00:14:06,140 [Meow] 271 00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:07,642 Come here. Come here. 272 00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:11,445 [Meow] 273 00:14:45,015 --> 00:14:45,913 Bad rice. 274 00:14:46,016 --> 00:14:46,948 Bad rice. 275 00:14:47,017 --> 00:14:47,949 Be quiet. 276 00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:50,619 I am very serious. 277 00:14:52,088 --> 00:14:53,521 So am I. 278 00:14:56,993 --> 00:14:58,927 I love you so much. 279 00:14:58,995 --> 00:15:01,463 I want to tell you that I love you. 280 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,545 [Telephone Rings] 281 00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:28,322 [Meow] 282 00:15:28,391 --> 00:15:31,360 [Ring] 283 00:15:33,897 --> 00:15:34,829 Hello. 284 00:15:36,433 --> 00:15:37,365 [Meow] 285 00:15:37,434 --> 00:15:38,867 It's all right. 286 00:15:38,935 --> 00:15:40,869 You don't have to apologize. 287 00:15:40,937 --> 00:15:43,872 I made 100 bucks off of it, didn't I? 288 00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:48,307 A gift? 289 00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:49,402 Right now? 290 00:15:51,081 --> 00:15:51,979 Well, yeah. 291 00:15:52,082 --> 00:15:53,913 Well, what kind of gift? 292 00:15:57,187 --> 00:15:58,711 Hi. 293 00:15:58,822 --> 00:15:59,754 [Coughs] 294 00:15:59,823 --> 00:16:01,188 Ahem. 295 00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:02,486 I'm Marisa. 296 00:16:03,693 --> 00:16:05,627 [Ring] 297 00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,065 Hey. 298 00:16:11,134 --> 00:16:12,066 Gary? 299 00:16:12,135 --> 00:16:13,534 Yeah. 300 00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:16,871 Are you alone? 301 00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:18,874 Yes, of course I'm alone. 302 00:16:18,942 --> 00:16:20,876 Do you want to be? 303 00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:33,655 � You're no good � 304 00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:35,122 � Heartbreaker � 305 00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:37,588 � You're a liar... � 306 00:16:37,661 --> 00:16:38,593 [Knock On Door] 307 00:16:39,663 --> 00:16:40,595 [Knock Knock] 308 00:16:40,664 --> 00:16:43,690 � I don't know why � 309 00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:46,099 � I let you do these things to me � 310 00:16:46,169 --> 00:16:47,101 Hi. 311 00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:48,102 Hi. 312 00:16:48,171 --> 00:16:50,105 � My friends keep tellin' me � 313 00:16:50,173 --> 00:16:52,368 Oh, come on in. 314 00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,376 � That you ain't no good � 315 00:16:54,444 --> 00:16:55,877 How are you? 316 00:16:55,945 --> 00:16:57,276 � Whoa � 317 00:16:57,347 --> 00:16:58,245 � But they don't know � 318 00:16:58,348 --> 00:16:59,713 O.K. 319 00:16:59,816 --> 00:17:00,976 � That I've been... � 320 00:17:10,093 --> 00:17:11,788 That's nice. 321 00:17:11,861 --> 00:17:13,795 Is that a new couch? 322 00:17:14,864 --> 00:17:17,799 No. I've had it about a year. 323 00:17:22,539 --> 00:17:23,972 It looks new. 324 00:17:26,042 --> 00:17:28,977 Well, I keep it in good shape. 325 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,314 Are you still working with your father? 326 00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:34,315 Yeah. 327 00:17:34,384 --> 00:17:35,316 Yeah. 328 00:17:35,385 --> 00:17:36,317 Yeah. 329 00:17:37,821 --> 00:17:38,753 What? 330 00:17:42,959 --> 00:17:44,324 I... 331 00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:54,235 Oh, man. 332 00:18:02,679 --> 00:18:04,112 Got to go. 333 00:18:10,186 --> 00:18:11,118 Did you... 334 00:18:11,187 --> 00:18:13,121 put on a little weight? 335 00:18:13,189 --> 00:18:14,622 [Zips Pants Up] 336 00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:29,971 Uh, can I get you something? 337 00:18:30,039 --> 00:18:31,472 What do you got? 338 00:18:31,541 --> 00:18:33,475 I have some terrific wines. 339 00:18:33,543 --> 00:18:35,636 Do you have any, uh... 340 00:18:38,415 --> 00:18:39,404 gin? 341 00:18:39,516 --> 00:18:40,448 Gin? 342 00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:41,449 Sure. 343 00:18:41,518 --> 00:18:42,951 Gin on the rocks. 344 00:18:43,019 --> 00:18:44,452 Gin on the rocks. 345 00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:45,453 Um... 346 00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:47,988 gin. 347 00:18:48,057 --> 00:18:50,025 Tangueray, if you got it. 348 00:18:50,093 --> 00:18:51,526 O.K. 349 00:18:59,936 --> 00:19:01,801 Can I use your bathroom? 350 00:19:10,146 --> 00:19:11,511 [Gargling] 351 00:19:32,168 --> 00:19:33,100 [Door Opens] 352 00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:37,138 [Squeak] 353 00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:39,107 [Car Engine] 354 00:19:39,175 --> 00:19:40,107 [Door Closes] 355 00:19:42,011 --> 00:19:43,945 [Engine Starts] 356 00:19:46,382 --> 00:19:47,815 How'd it go? 357 00:19:47,884 --> 00:19:49,317 Great. 358 00:19:49,385 --> 00:19:51,319 He just wanted to talk. 359 00:19:52,622 --> 00:19:55,056 Oh, you should've seen his stereo. 360 00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:58,821 I bet it's worth thousands. 361 00:19:58,895 --> 00:20:00,089 [Tires Screech] 362 00:20:01,231 --> 00:20:02,960 [Tires Screech] 363 00:20:49,312 --> 00:20:51,280 [Meow Meow] 364 00:20:51,381 --> 00:20:52,541 [Meow] 365 00:20:52,649 --> 00:20:54,082 [Rarrr] 366 00:20:55,552 --> 00:20:56,484 [Meow] 367 00:20:56,553 --> 00:20:57,520 [Meow] 368 00:21:04,227 --> 00:21:06,161 [Meowing] 369 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,434 [Meowing] 370 00:21:15,738 --> 00:21:17,672 [Meowing] 371 00:21:29,886 --> 00:21:30,944 [Rarrr] 372 00:21:31,054 --> 00:21:32,316 Oh! 373 00:21:44,367 --> 00:21:44,701 Pay attention. 374 00:21:44,701 --> 00:21:45,861 Pay attention. 375 00:21:46,936 --> 00:21:48,460 Number six. 376 00:21:59,949 --> 00:22:02,315 I've got to talk to you. 377 00:22:02,385 --> 00:22:04,819 I've got to tell you something. 378 00:22:04,887 --> 00:22:07,321 About four hours later, they started to leave. 379 00:22:07,390 --> 00:22:08,823 Whatever had happened 380 00:22:08,891 --> 00:22:10,324 had stopped happening. 381 00:22:10,393 --> 00:22:12,827 And then, when I was cleaning up, 382 00:22:12,895 --> 00:22:14,829 I found this in some milk. 383 00:22:14,897 --> 00:22:15,829 Milk. 384 00:22:15,898 --> 00:22:17,331 You get it? 385 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,164 I mean, cats like milk. 386 00:22:20,236 --> 00:22:21,260 Yeah? 387 00:22:21,337 --> 00:22:23,703 Well, the Gypsy said when you speak, right? 388 00:22:23,773 --> 00:22:26,207 So, maybe it has something to do with sound. 389 00:22:26,275 --> 00:22:28,709 I mean, after all, you scratch a blackboard, 390 00:22:28,778 --> 00:22:31,178 and it drives you up the wall. 391 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,214 Maybe there's a sound that... 392 00:22:33,282 --> 00:22:36,217 you know, drives you up another wall. 393 00:22:37,286 --> 00:22:38,719 You don't believe me? 394 00:22:38,788 --> 00:22:41,723 No. I'd... I'd like to believe you. 395 00:22:41,791 --> 00:22:44,055 What do you want from me? 396 00:22:46,329 --> 00:22:48,263 Now, are... are you sure? 397 00:22:48,331 --> 00:22:49,764 Are you absolutely positive? 398 00:22:49,832 --> 00:22:50,764 I'm positive. 399 00:22:50,833 --> 00:22:52,266 Nothing to worry about. 400 00:22:52,335 --> 00:22:53,768 It's a... It's a salt. 401 00:22:53,836 --> 00:22:55,770 It's a condensed liquid salt. 402 00:22:56,906 --> 00:22:59,340 You want me to take it? 403 00:22:59,409 --> 00:23:00,341 No. 404 00:23:03,246 --> 00:23:04,178 O.K. 405 00:23:22,465 --> 00:23:23,898 [Aah-Aah-Aah-Aah] 406 00:23:23,966 --> 00:23:25,092 [Aah-Aah-Aah] 407 00:23:26,569 --> 00:23:28,503 Didn't sound unusual to me. 408 00:23:29,739 --> 00:23:31,934 How'd it sound to you? 409 00:23:32,008 --> 00:23:34,943 Well, I... I mean, I... I wouldn't know. 410 00:23:35,011 --> 00:23:38,310 Is that an unusual sound for a chimp? 411 00:23:38,414 --> 00:23:39,312 No. 412 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:44,450 [Crash] 413 00:23:47,256 --> 00:23:48,689 That... That's Romeo. 414 00:23:48,758 --> 00:23:51,192 He's trying to break through the wall! 415 00:23:51,260 --> 00:23:53,023 What's he trying to do? 416 00:23:53,096 --> 00:23:54,154 [Banging] 417 00:23:54,230 --> 00:23:56,289 He's breaking through the wall! 418 00:24:18,221 --> 00:24:19,654 No, no, no. Don't. 419 00:24:19,722 --> 00:24:21,155 He'll rip your arm off. 420 00:24:21,224 --> 00:24:22,156 Don't. Don't. 421 00:24:22,225 --> 00:24:23,157 Well, I... 422 00:24:23,226 --> 00:24:25,160 [Banging] 423 00:24:49,719 --> 00:24:51,152 Is he dead? 424 00:24:56,159 --> 00:24:57,091 No. 425 00:25:00,730 --> 00:25:02,391 He's asleep. 426 00:25:04,033 --> 00:25:06,433 After weeks of testing, 427 00:25:06,502 --> 00:25:07,935 we discovered how it works. 428 00:25:08,004 --> 00:25:10,973 When swallowed, it affects the vocal cords directly, 429 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:12,200 so when you speak, 430 00:25:12,275 --> 00:25:15,108 microtremors encoded within your voice 431 00:25:15,178 --> 00:25:16,941 stimulate tiny little hairs 432 00:25:17,013 --> 00:25:19,675 in the inner ear of the opposite sex. 433 00:25:19,749 --> 00:25:21,910 The vibration sends a signal to the brain, 434 00:25:22,018 --> 00:25:24,509 which, in turn, produces a combination 435 00:25:24,620 --> 00:25:26,349 of mood-altering endogenous chemicals 436 00:25:26,455 --> 00:25:29,390 responsible for the biochemical process 437 00:25:29,458 --> 00:25:30,425 of feeling in love. 438 00:25:30,526 --> 00:25:31,925 We also discovered that, one... 439 00:25:31,994 --> 00:25:34,690 It made members of the same sex hostile. 440 00:25:34,764 --> 00:25:35,696 Two... 441 00:25:35,765 --> 00:25:37,790 It had to be diluted. 442 00:25:37,867 --> 00:25:39,767 Full strength was far too strong. 443 00:25:39,836 --> 00:25:40,996 And three... 444 00:25:41,070 --> 00:25:43,834 It would only work for four hours at a time. 445 00:25:43,906 --> 00:25:46,841 The next logical step was to test it on humans, 446 00:25:46,909 --> 00:25:47,967 but who? 447 00:25:49,946 --> 00:25:52,039 We felt a deep moral obligation to mankind 448 00:25:52,114 --> 00:25:55,277 to make sure this potentially dangerous drug 449 00:25:55,384 --> 00:25:57,318 didn't fall into the wrong hands, 450 00:25:57,386 --> 00:26:01,880 but where could we find test subjects we could trust? 451 00:26:01,991 --> 00:26:04,926 Th-this is scientifically unorthodox, 452 00:26:04,994 --> 00:26:06,427 but... 453 00:26:06,495 --> 00:26:08,429 perhaps we could both take samples 454 00:26:08,497 --> 00:26:11,091 and test it ourselves in a real-world environment. 455 00:26:12,668 --> 00:26:15,296 I mean, Diane, we're both... 456 00:26:15,371 --> 00:26:18,932 prudent and... and responsible people. 457 00:26:22,445 --> 00:26:24,572 So, for the sake of all mankind, 458 00:26:24,647 --> 00:26:26,740 we divided up the remainder of the potion 459 00:26:26,816 --> 00:26:29,341 and agreed not to speak for three weeks. 460 00:26:29,452 --> 00:26:31,386 [Engine Rattling] 461 00:26:33,522 --> 00:26:34,454 [Engine Backfires] 462 00:26:41,764 --> 00:26:43,857 Can I see your driver's license, your registration, 463 00:26:43,933 --> 00:26:45,525 your proof of insurance, please? 464 00:27:24,807 --> 00:27:25,774 [Clears Throat] 465 00:27:44,193 --> 00:27:45,956 Let's just... 466 00:27:48,364 --> 00:27:50,298 let this go with a warning. 467 00:27:51,934 --> 00:27:53,026 Thank you. 468 00:27:54,203 --> 00:27:55,170 Heh heh. 469 00:27:55,237 --> 00:27:59,640 I... I get off in... in about an hour... 470 00:27:59,709 --> 00:28:01,939 and, uh... 471 00:28:02,011 --> 00:28:05,208 I was... I was wondering... 472 00:28:05,281 --> 00:28:06,771 could we maybe... 473 00:28:09,652 --> 00:28:11,085 have a drink? 474 00:28:11,153 --> 00:28:14,589 I don't think so. 475 00:28:34,176 --> 00:28:36,440 Insurance has been canceled. 476 00:28:38,814 --> 00:28:40,611 " R.T. Moreno." 477 00:29:01,203 --> 00:29:02,227 Hi. 478 00:29:03,773 --> 00:29:04,762 Can I help you? 479 00:29:07,743 --> 00:29:09,904 � I need a man � 480 00:29:11,447 --> 00:29:13,779 � I need a man � 481 00:29:15,217 --> 00:29:17,481 � I need a man � 482 00:29:18,988 --> 00:29:20,546 � I need a man � 483 00:29:20,656 --> 00:29:21,782 � YMCA � 484 00:29:21,891 --> 00:29:23,324 � It's fun to stay at the � 485 00:29:23,392 --> 00:29:26,759 � YMCA, yeah � 486 00:29:26,829 --> 00:29:28,262 � They have everything... � 487 00:29:28,330 --> 00:29:29,592 Excuse me. 488 00:29:31,934 --> 00:29:34,926 Who would be Ms. Moreno's supervisor? 489 00:29:35,004 --> 00:29:36,767 [Village People] � YMCA � 490 00:29:36,839 --> 00:29:38,431 � It's fun to stay at the � 491 00:29:38,507 --> 00:29:41,601 � YMCA... � 492 00:29:41,677 --> 00:29:42,609 Uh... 493 00:29:42,678 --> 00:29:44,908 � YMCA... � 494 00:29:44,980 --> 00:29:46,811 That would be, um... 495 00:29:46,882 --> 00:29:48,713 the district manager... 496 00:29:51,020 --> 00:29:52,248 Dick Webster. 497 00:29:56,525 --> 00:29:57,822 Dick. 498 00:29:57,893 --> 00:30:02,455 Three tickets. Oh, my. 499 00:30:02,531 --> 00:30:05,432 You didn't kill anybody, did you? 500 00:30:05,501 --> 00:30:06,627 No. 501 00:30:06,702 --> 00:30:08,135 Good. 502 00:30:13,375 --> 00:30:16,310 Bill... Dick Webster. 503 00:30:16,378 --> 00:30:19,609 I have a cancellation I want reversed. 504 00:30:40,069 --> 00:30:41,502 Oh, excuse me. 505 00:30:59,421 --> 00:31:02,788 Oh, it is very beautiful, isn't it? 506 00:31:02,858 --> 00:31:04,416 Yes, it is. 507 00:31:07,196 --> 00:31:08,128 Dino! 508 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,963 [Speaking Italian] 509 00:31:13,035 --> 00:31:14,195 Si, signore. 510 00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:19,974 Has anybody ever told you 511 00:31:20,042 --> 00:31:21,475 how beautiful you are? 512 00:31:23,379 --> 00:31:24,573 No. 513 00:31:24,647 --> 00:31:26,774 Nobody in their right mind. 514 00:31:43,232 --> 00:31:44,995 Excuse me, please. 515 00:31:50,573 --> 00:31:53,508 I have met beautiful women before... 516 00:31:53,576 --> 00:31:55,840 many beautiful women... 517 00:31:55,911 --> 00:31:56,843 but you... 518 00:31:56,912 --> 00:31:58,641 you are the most beautiful woman 519 00:31:58,714 --> 00:32:00,648 I have ever seen in my life. 520 00:32:11,093 --> 00:32:13,027 I know this sounds ridiculous, 521 00:32:13,095 --> 00:32:17,122 but do you believe in love at first sight? 522 00:32:20,202 --> 00:32:21,294 Bravo! 523 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,132 La via! 524 00:32:29,545 --> 00:32:32,070 I want you to have this. 525 00:32:39,722 --> 00:32:41,155 I can't. 526 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,585 Please, indulge me. Take it. 527 00:32:46,662 --> 00:32:48,596 I don't feel this way very often, 528 00:32:48,664 --> 00:32:51,326 and I would like you to have this. 529 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,492 Oh! 530 00:32:52,568 --> 00:32:53,762 This is your car? 531 00:33:02,011 --> 00:33:04,844 This is an Alta Pazzoli. 532 00:33:04,913 --> 00:33:06,175 I know. 533 00:33:06,248 --> 00:33:07,579 I am Enrico Pazzoli. 534 00:33:07,650 --> 00:33:10,312 I own the company that manufactures this car. 535 00:33:10,419 --> 00:33:12,819 [Car Doesn't Start] 536 00:33:14,923 --> 00:33:16,288 Thank you. 537 00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:24,466 The governor is giving a little party this evening. 538 00:33:24,533 --> 00:33:27,434 I have nobody to accompany me. 539 00:33:27,503 --> 00:33:29,437 Would you please come with me? 540 00:33:33,042 --> 00:33:35,374 I... I really don't think so. 541 00:33:35,444 --> 00:33:36,638 Why? Are you married? 542 00:33:36,712 --> 00:33:37,940 No, no. 543 00:33:38,013 --> 00:33:40,106 You are engaged? You have a fiance? 544 00:33:40,182 --> 00:33:41,114 No, no. 545 00:33:41,183 --> 00:33:42,616 A lover? A boyfriend? 546 00:33:42,685 --> 00:33:43,777 Um... no. 547 00:33:43,886 --> 00:33:44,818 A girlfriend? 548 00:33:44,887 --> 00:33:45,819 No! 549 00:33:45,888 --> 00:33:48,015 Then, uh, your grandmother is sick, 550 00:33:48,123 --> 00:33:49,886 and you must stay with her? 551 00:33:49,958 --> 00:33:50,890 She's dead. 552 00:33:50,959 --> 00:33:51,891 I'm sorry. 553 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,951 It's O.K. She died 20 years ago. 554 00:33:54,029 --> 00:33:56,589 Then why don't you come with me? 555 00:34:01,970 --> 00:34:03,597 [Knock On Door] 556 00:34:14,983 --> 00:34:16,245 Buona sera. 557 00:34:22,358 --> 00:34:24,758 Is something wrong? 558 00:34:27,696 --> 00:34:29,960 You're wearing a tuxedo. 559 00:34:30,032 --> 00:34:30,964 Oh, of course. 560 00:34:31,033 --> 00:34:32,364 The party's a formal affair. 561 00:34:32,434 --> 00:34:34,129 Didn't I tell you? 562 00:34:34,203 --> 00:34:35,135 No. 563 00:34:35,204 --> 00:34:36,967 Ohh... I'm sorry. 564 00:34:37,039 --> 00:34:38,131 I'm so sorry. 565 00:34:38,207 --> 00:34:40,141 But we have plenty of time. 566 00:34:40,209 --> 00:34:41,642 Please, put on a gown. 567 00:34:41,710 --> 00:34:43,644 I will be happy to wait. 568 00:34:46,849 --> 00:34:49,551 I don't own a gown. 569 00:35:21,350 --> 00:35:24,046 Royalty usually arrives after the guests. 570 00:35:24,119 --> 00:35:28,556 However, Prince Geoffrey didn't want to miss meeting any of the girls. 571 00:36:12,267 --> 00:36:13,529 It is all right. 572 00:36:13,602 --> 00:36:15,035 Don't be afraid. 573 00:36:16,271 --> 00:36:18,034 You look, uh... 574 00:36:18,106 --> 00:36:19,539 maravigliosa. 575 00:36:27,783 --> 00:36:30,047 And in the alpha males, seratonin receptor levels 576 00:36:30,118 --> 00:36:31,881 were found to be up-regulated, 577 00:36:31,954 --> 00:36:33,387 and cetohybridization has shown 578 00:36:33,455 --> 00:36:35,616 that they will co-localize with dopamine. 579 00:36:35,691 --> 00:36:37,022 - Well! - Hmm! - Oh! 580 00:36:37,092 --> 00:36:42,223 What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? 581 00:36:42,297 --> 00:36:44,231 I don't know, and I don't care. 582 00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:49,904 [Diane Laughing] 583 00:37:07,589 --> 00:37:09,523 Enrico, thank you. 584 00:37:09,591 --> 00:37:10,580 Good night. 585 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,352 Oh, my God. 586 00:37:16,431 --> 00:37:17,523 Oh... 587 00:37:49,131 --> 00:37:50,393 [Beep] 588 00:37:50,465 --> 00:37:54,902 Hello. You have 67 messages. 589 00:39:16,418 --> 00:39:20,752 � All my friends know the low rider... � 590 00:39:20,822 --> 00:39:23,017 Fahrvergnugen. 591 00:39:23,091 --> 00:39:26,254 � The low rider � 592 00:39:26,328 --> 00:39:27,522 � Is a little higher � 593 00:39:33,935 --> 00:39:34,867 Hi. 594 00:39:38,106 --> 00:39:39,596 My name's Cheryl. 595 00:39:43,478 --> 00:39:45,537 Aren't you going to tell me your name? 596 00:39:45,647 --> 00:39:47,114 Paul. 597 00:39:48,684 --> 00:39:51,118 Why are you looking at me like that? 598 00:39:51,186 --> 00:39:54,587 I'm just curious to what you're thinking. 599 00:39:54,656 --> 00:39:56,681 I'm not going to tell you. 600 00:39:56,758 --> 00:39:59,556 � The low rider � 601 00:39:59,628 --> 00:40:02,620 I prefer to be a bit mysterious. 602 00:40:02,698 --> 00:40:04,063 Oh. 603 00:40:07,469 --> 00:40:09,266 Do you like mysterious girls? 604 00:40:10,505 --> 00:40:11,437 No. 605 00:40:11,506 --> 00:40:13,269 Oh. 606 00:40:13,375 --> 00:40:16,344 What kind of girls do you like? 607 00:40:16,411 --> 00:40:17,537 Honest and direct. 608 00:40:17,646 --> 00:40:19,079 I don't like mystery. 609 00:40:20,982 --> 00:40:24,418 Oh, I... I was just kidding about the mystery part. 610 00:40:24,486 --> 00:40:25,418 Oh, yeah. 611 00:40:25,487 --> 00:40:26,784 I can be direct. 612 00:40:28,390 --> 00:40:31,291 I can be very direct. 613 00:40:31,359 --> 00:40:32,587 � The low rider... � 614 00:40:32,661 --> 00:40:34,253 Yeah. 615 00:40:34,329 --> 00:40:36,320 In fact, I can be so direct, 616 00:40:36,398 --> 00:40:38,593 it would scare you. 617 00:40:53,515 --> 00:40:54,846 Are you scared? 618 00:40:56,418 --> 00:40:57,783 Nope. 619 00:41:10,632 --> 00:41:11,656 Oh, God. 620 00:41:28,316 --> 00:41:30,079 Oh, this is great. 621 00:41:32,888 --> 00:41:34,583 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 622 00:41:34,656 --> 00:41:36,590 O.K., O.K. 623 00:41:36,658 --> 00:41:38,421 Is that direct enough for you? 624 00:41:38,493 --> 00:41:39,482 Yeah, yeah. 625 00:41:39,561 --> 00:41:40,858 That was excellent, excellent directness. 626 00:41:40,929 --> 00:41:43,295 So why don't we just get out of here? 627 00:41:43,365 --> 00:41:45,799 We can go back to my place. 628 00:41:48,170 --> 00:41:49,330 O.K. 629 00:41:51,706 --> 00:41:53,765 O.K. I-I'll go home with you. 630 00:41:53,875 --> 00:41:55,308 I'll go home with you, 631 00:41:55,377 --> 00:41:59,074 and I'll be everything you've ever wanted in a man 632 00:41:59,147 --> 00:42:01,377 if... 633 00:42:01,449 --> 00:42:05,886 you can answer one question correctly. 634 00:42:05,954 --> 00:42:08,013 What? 635 00:42:08,089 --> 00:42:10,580 How do you synthesize a methylated alkaloid? 636 00:42:10,659 --> 00:42:13,287 I don't know. 637 00:42:15,297 --> 00:42:17,060 [Makes Buzzer Sound] 638 00:42:17,132 --> 00:42:18,224 Bye, now. 639 00:42:22,537 --> 00:42:23,469 Yes. 640 00:42:23,538 --> 00:42:25,233 Yes! Yes! 641 00:42:25,307 --> 00:42:26,968 Yes! 642 00:42:27,075 --> 00:42:28,474 Whoo! 643 00:42:28,543 --> 00:42:30,067 [Humming] 644 00:42:30,178 --> 00:42:32,578 It was late, but the bars were open, 645 00:42:32,647 --> 00:42:34,581 and I still felt the urge 646 00:42:34,649 --> 00:42:36,446 to continue with my research. 647 00:43:04,613 --> 00:43:06,547 It was 100% effective. 648 00:43:06,615 --> 00:43:08,549 No matter what they were doing 649 00:43:08,617 --> 00:43:10,050 or whoever they were with, 650 00:43:10,118 --> 00:43:11,642 they wanted you! 651 00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:14,621 You were the one they were looking for their entire lives. 652 00:43:14,689 --> 00:43:16,213 You were funny, intelligent, 653 00:43:16,291 --> 00:43:19,954 but above all, you were very, very sexy. 654 00:43:22,230 --> 00:43:25,165 It worked, and it worked miracles. 655 00:43:25,233 --> 00:43:28,168 It absolutely eliminated any fear that they 656 00:43:28,236 --> 00:43:30,670 wouldn't like you or that you weren't good enough. 657 00:43:30,739 --> 00:43:33,731 Instead of taking years of painfully coming to grips with reality, 658 00:43:33,842 --> 00:43:35,070 you change reality. 659 00:43:35,176 --> 00:43:36,666 Reality comes to you. 660 00:43:38,647 --> 00:43:40,706 You didn't have to be good-looking, 661 00:43:40,815 --> 00:43:42,407 well-dressed, or rich. 662 00:43:42,484 --> 00:43:44,418 It didn't matter. 663 00:43:44,486 --> 00:43:48,081 You just had to speak. 664 00:43:48,156 --> 00:43:49,748 So... 665 00:43:49,824 --> 00:43:52,486 how do you like those pretzels? 666 00:43:59,501 --> 00:44:02,026 And you didn't have to be funny, intelligent, 667 00:44:02,103 --> 00:44:03,127 or insightful. 668 00:44:03,204 --> 00:44:04,967 It didn't matter what you said. 669 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,032 Content had nothing to do with it. 670 00:44:08,143 --> 00:44:09,201 So... 671 00:44:09,311 --> 00:44:11,176 you like those radials? 672 00:44:28,463 --> 00:44:30,397 They say that power corrupts, 673 00:44:30,465 --> 00:44:33,730 and absolute power corrupts absolutely. 674 00:44:33,802 --> 00:44:35,895 Well... 675 00:44:35,971 --> 00:44:37,063 they're right. 676 00:44:38,306 --> 00:44:40,570 They also say that the path of excess 677 00:44:40,675 --> 00:44:42,836 leads to the palace of wisdom. 678 00:44:42,944 --> 00:44:45,242 My palace of wisdom 679 00:44:45,313 --> 00:44:49,079 was the Sigma Delta Pi Sorority House. 680 00:44:49,150 --> 00:44:51,641 [Beethoven's Fifth Symphony Plays] 681 00:45:11,639 --> 00:45:13,573 I learned a lot that night. 682 00:45:13,641 --> 00:45:15,370 I learned a lot about myself. 683 00:45:15,477 --> 00:45:16,910 I learned a lot about women. 684 00:45:16,978 --> 00:45:19,708 I also learned about an obscure panty raid law 685 00:45:19,781 --> 00:45:22,682 which prohibits men to be in a sorority house 686 00:45:22,751 --> 00:45:24,412 after 9 p.m. 687 00:46:13,768 --> 00:46:15,759 How's it going? 688 00:46:15,870 --> 00:46:16,996 Can I help you? 689 00:46:17,105 --> 00:46:19,573 No. I'm here to see a friend. 690 00:46:19,674 --> 00:46:20,834 And who is that? 691 00:46:20,909 --> 00:46:22,171 Diane Farrow. 692 00:46:22,243 --> 00:46:23,676 I'm sorry, but Miss Farrow 693 00:46:23,745 --> 00:46:24,871 isn't expecting company. 694 00:46:24,946 --> 00:46:27,210 Oh, I'm just dropping by. 695 00:46:27,282 --> 00:46:28,840 I'm sorry. 696 00:46:30,218 --> 00:46:32,652 Listen, why don't you go tell her 697 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:35,814 that Gary Logan is here? 698 00:46:35,890 --> 00:46:36,948 All right. 699 00:46:37,025 --> 00:46:39,789 Stan, there's a Gary Logan out here 700 00:46:39,861 --> 00:46:41,294 to see Miss Farrow. 701 00:46:46,935 --> 00:46:48,402 I'm sorry. 702 00:46:48,503 --> 00:46:50,596 You're kidding. 703 00:46:50,705 --> 00:46:52,730 No. She has company. 704 00:46:54,109 --> 00:46:55,041 Oh. 705 00:46:57,745 --> 00:46:59,440 Who is that guy? 706 00:46:59,514 --> 00:47:01,573 Prince Geoffrey. 707 00:47:01,649 --> 00:47:03,776 Prince? 708 00:47:03,852 --> 00:47:05,911 Prince of what? 709 00:47:05,987 --> 00:47:07,511 England. 710 00:47:14,929 --> 00:47:16,362 Unbelievable. 711 00:47:18,900 --> 00:47:20,959 Ahem. 712 00:47:21,069 --> 00:47:22,627 Is, uh... 713 00:47:22,737 --> 00:47:24,170 Thank you. 714 00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:25,672 Right through here? 715 00:47:28,109 --> 00:47:29,041 Diane? 716 00:47:35,884 --> 00:47:37,317 Wow! 717 00:47:39,888 --> 00:47:41,082 - Bye! - Bye, Diane! 718 00:47:42,157 --> 00:47:45,149 Jesus Christ, you... you look great! 719 00:47:45,226 --> 00:47:47,490 What did you do? 720 00:47:47,562 --> 00:47:49,655 You got a haircut? 721 00:47:49,731 --> 00:47:53,633 Well, that is a great haircut. 722 00:47:53,735 --> 00:47:55,032 You got your teeth fixed. 723 00:47:55,136 --> 00:47:57,536 Oh, you're on the potion! 724 00:47:57,605 --> 00:47:58,663 You're on the po... 725 00:48:03,044 --> 00:48:04,773 So, uh... 726 00:48:04,846 --> 00:48:06,780 nice... nice clothes. 727 00:48:06,848 --> 00:48:08,816 Did you buy those? 728 00:48:10,084 --> 00:48:11,016 Really? 729 00:48:11,085 --> 00:48:13,451 Ah. Having fun, huh? 730 00:48:15,690 --> 00:48:17,453 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 731 00:48:17,525 --> 00:48:19,288 Yeah. 732 00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:21,021 "What were you doing 733 00:48:21,095 --> 00:48:22,960 in the sorority?" 734 00:48:23,031 --> 00:48:24,123 Uh... 735 00:48:24,199 --> 00:48:26,724 what was I doing in the sorority? 736 00:48:26,834 --> 00:48:29,701 Ha ha ha ha ha... 737 00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:32,672 Oh, no. 738 00:48:35,243 --> 00:48:37,507 I... I was, um... 739 00:48:37,579 --> 00:48:39,137 I was, uh... 740 00:48:41,216 --> 00:48:43,150 I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I can't. 741 00:48:43,218 --> 00:48:44,981 I was doing research. 742 00:48:45,053 --> 00:48:46,418 I... I was. 743 00:48:46,487 --> 00:48:47,715 What? 744 00:48:47,789 --> 00:48:48,721 What? 745 00:48:51,893 --> 00:48:52,825 What? 746 00:48:54,395 --> 00:48:55,828 Oh, you're kidding. 747 00:48:55,897 --> 00:48:58,661 Heh. Uh... heh heh. 748 00:48:58,733 --> 00:49:00,166 Uh... ahem. 749 00:49:00,268 --> 00:49:02,259 All right, all right, all right. 750 00:49:02,370 --> 00:49:04,804 Can you keep a secret? 751 00:49:04,872 --> 00:49:06,339 So can I. 752 00:49:08,042 --> 00:49:09,805 I'm sorry. I... I just... 753 00:49:11,346 --> 00:49:13,280 Oh, look, that is not fair, 754 00:49:13,348 --> 00:49:14,781 because you're on the potion. 755 00:49:14,849 --> 00:49:16,009 You can't talk. 756 00:49:16,084 --> 00:49:18,018 How do I know you haven't been doing 757 00:49:18,086 --> 00:49:19,519 some unspeakably sordid things? 758 00:49:19,587 --> 00:49:20,519 What? 759 00:49:26,027 --> 00:49:26,959 You're kidding. 760 00:49:31,833 --> 00:49:32,959 What are you, 761 00:49:33,067 --> 00:49:35,797 dating the president? 762 00:49:35,903 --> 00:49:37,336 Who's in there? 763 00:49:46,481 --> 00:49:49,450 You look familiar. 764 00:49:49,517 --> 00:49:52,418 Uh, I'm the prince of England. 765 00:49:56,891 --> 00:49:58,324 Ow. 766 00:49:58,393 --> 00:49:59,621 Oh. 767 00:49:59,694 --> 00:50:03,824 Paul, we're going to a charity arts auction tonight. 768 00:50:03,898 --> 00:50:05,331 Would you like to come? 769 00:50:05,433 --> 00:50:07,094 You're not speaking. 770 00:50:09,337 --> 00:50:10,770 Why aren't you speaking? 771 00:50:11,939 --> 00:50:13,930 You notice Diane isn't speaking? 772 00:50:15,843 --> 00:50:19,836 Oh! You're playing the mute game again, aren't you? 773 00:50:19,914 --> 00:50:21,279 Yes, you are! 774 00:50:22,650 --> 00:50:24,447 She's playing the mute game again. 775 00:50:24,519 --> 00:50:25,645 [British Accent] Really? 776 00:50:28,923 --> 00:50:31,187 So, you are coming to the party. 777 00:50:31,259 --> 00:50:33,352 Tell him to come to the party. 778 00:50:35,997 --> 00:50:37,862 That's mute for, 779 00:50:37,932 --> 00:50:39,695 "you must come." 780 00:50:39,801 --> 00:50:42,167 Oh, uh... you have a tux? 781 00:50:50,144 --> 00:50:52,544 Your highness, how wonderful to see you. 782 00:50:52,613 --> 00:50:54,547 Jane Childs from the arts council. 783 00:50:54,615 --> 00:50:57,550 Miss Childs, so nice to see you. 784 00:50:57,618 --> 00:51:00,052 These are my friends Paul and Diane. 785 00:51:00,121 --> 00:51:01,486 How do you do? 786 00:51:01,556 --> 00:51:04,582 This is one of our new South American sculptors. 787 00:51:04,659 --> 00:51:07,594 He's going to be having a one-man show here. 788 00:51:11,065 --> 00:51:12,032 Thanks. 789 00:51:30,218 --> 00:51:32,118 Uh, shall we go? 790 00:51:32,186 --> 00:51:33,175 Coming, Paul? 791 00:51:34,589 --> 00:51:37,217 No? All right, then. 792 00:51:46,501 --> 00:51:48,935 Have you met our mayor Mr. Cox? 793 00:51:49,003 --> 00:51:51,938 [Geoffrey] No, I haven't had the pleasure. 794 00:52:26,107 --> 00:52:27,540 ...plaster cast mold, 795 00:52:27,608 --> 00:52:30,543 and then it was done in the lost wax method, 796 00:52:30,578 --> 00:52:34,105 which is why it's so anatomically correct. 797 00:52:34,182 --> 00:52:35,615 Excuse me, Your Highness. 798 00:52:35,683 --> 00:52:39,517 He's awfully good with the ladies. 799 00:52:41,789 --> 00:52:45,657 A 2. Oh, deuces are wild. I got the 2. 800 00:52:45,726 --> 00:52:47,694 Uh, the 3 is yours. 801 00:52:49,964 --> 00:52:54,060 Uh... the king is for me. 802 00:52:54,168 --> 00:52:56,102 Here's a 4. 803 00:52:56,170 --> 00:52:57,865 4 and, um... 804 00:52:57,972 --> 00:53:00,907 I'm sorry. We can't do this. 805 00:53:08,549 --> 00:53:10,483 Could I talk to you? 806 00:53:21,062 --> 00:53:23,997 Uh, would you excuse me for a minute? 807 00:53:24,065 --> 00:53:27,034 Ladies and gentlemen, the auction is about to begin. 808 00:53:27,101 --> 00:53:29,535 Please join us at the forum. 809 00:53:53,261 --> 00:53:55,695 Prince Geoffrey may be turning in 810 00:53:55,763 --> 00:53:57,196 his wicked, wicked ways 811 00:53:57,265 --> 00:53:59,995 for American monkey psychiatrist Diane Farrow. 812 00:54:00,101 --> 00:54:03,127 Miss Farrow, who as a comparative psychobiologist 813 00:54:03,237 --> 00:54:06,172 has had considerable experience taming wild beasts, 814 00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:09,175 has tamed the untamable king of the jungle 815 00:54:09,243 --> 00:54:10,676 Prince Geoffrey of York. 816 00:54:10,745 --> 00:54:13,009 As far as Buckingham Palace is concerned, 817 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,674 sources tell us the queen mum is staying mum 818 00:54:15,750 --> 00:54:19,186 until she gets to meet the pretty American psychologist. 819 00:54:25,059 --> 00:54:26,219 Hi. 820 00:54:26,294 --> 00:54:27,886 Hi. 821 00:54:27,962 --> 00:54:28,894 Guess what. 822 00:54:28,963 --> 00:54:29,895 What? 823 00:54:29,964 --> 00:54:31,955 Geoffrey proposed to me last night. 824 00:54:32,033 --> 00:54:34,866 W-W-W-What'd you tell him? 825 00:54:34,969 --> 00:54:38,200 I told him I would think about it. 826 00:54:38,272 --> 00:54:39,705 Think about it. 827 00:54:39,774 --> 00:54:41,571 W-Why'd you tell him that? 828 00:54:50,117 --> 00:54:51,550 [Clears Throat] 829 00:54:53,087 --> 00:54:54,554 You know... 830 00:54:55,923 --> 00:54:58,016 all my life, 831 00:54:58,092 --> 00:54:59,559 I've felt... 832 00:55:00,661 --> 00:55:01,787 ugly. 833 00:55:03,531 --> 00:55:07,490 And now I have the world's most desirable man 834 00:55:07,568 --> 00:55:10,002 telling me that I am beautiful. 835 00:55:10,071 --> 00:55:13,973 I have the prince of England at home pining for me. 836 00:55:14,041 --> 00:55:15,975 This is a dream come true. 837 00:55:16,043 --> 00:55:19,740 I could be a princess. 838 00:55:24,285 --> 00:55:25,616 You're disturbed. 839 00:55:27,455 --> 00:55:28,888 W-What causes this? 840 00:55:28,956 --> 00:55:32,483 Well, I haven't had a date in four years. 841 00:55:40,668 --> 00:55:43,262 What? 842 00:55:43,371 --> 00:55:46,397 Uh, well, your... your... the joke about the date. 843 00:55:46,507 --> 00:55:48,134 Well, what about it? 844 00:55:48,242 --> 00:55:52,838 Well, Diane... we had a date. 845 00:55:52,913 --> 00:55:54,938 We had a date? 846 00:55:55,016 --> 00:55:57,075 Yeah. Remember? 847 00:55:57,151 --> 00:55:59,176 No, I don't. 848 00:55:59,253 --> 00:56:01,517 The lunch... we went out to lunch. 849 00:56:01,589 --> 00:56:03,079 That was a date? 850 00:56:03,157 --> 00:56:05,182 Yeah. 851 00:56:05,259 --> 00:56:09,195 I thought a date was when you went to somebody's house 852 00:56:09,263 --> 00:56:11,197 and you picked them up 853 00:56:11,265 --> 00:56:13,358 and you took them out to dinner. 854 00:56:13,434 --> 00:56:15,868 Well, that is a conventional date, 855 00:56:15,936 --> 00:56:18,996 but you... you don't have to do that. 856 00:56:19,106 --> 00:56:20,539 Gosh, I'm sorry. 857 00:56:20,608 --> 00:56:22,906 I had no idea that that was a date. 858 00:56:22,977 --> 00:56:26,504 Was there a second date that I'm not aware of? 859 00:56:26,580 --> 00:56:30,380 No. Because you said you had kind of a boyfriend. 860 00:56:30,451 --> 00:56:31,850 Oh. 861 00:56:33,287 --> 00:56:35,585 Well, he's not a boyfriend. 862 00:56:36,891 --> 00:56:38,153 No? 863 00:56:38,225 --> 00:56:39,283 No. 864 00:56:50,271 --> 00:56:51,704 Are you hungry? 865 00:56:52,773 --> 00:56:54,900 Yeah. 866 00:56:55,009 --> 00:56:59,412 Do you want to go out and get something to eat? 867 00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:02,176 You know, I'll drive to your house, 868 00:57:02,249 --> 00:57:03,682 and I'll pick you up and... 869 00:57:03,751 --> 00:57:05,412 talk to your father. 870 00:57:06,754 --> 00:57:08,688 So this is a date? 871 00:57:08,756 --> 00:57:10,189 This is definitely a date. 872 00:57:11,258 --> 00:57:12,350 O.K. 873 00:57:55,302 --> 00:57:57,668 And then something magical happened. 874 00:57:57,772 --> 00:58:00,206 For the first time in my life, 875 00:58:00,274 --> 00:58:01,707 I felt something perfect. 876 00:58:01,776 --> 00:58:05,177 Once you feel that feeling, that perfect feeling, 877 00:58:05,246 --> 00:58:07,680 you want it to last forever, 878 00:58:07,748 --> 00:58:10,683 but since love comes with no guarantee, 879 00:58:10,751 --> 00:58:13,185 you do what you can do, 880 00:58:13,254 --> 00:58:13,948 and the only thing you can do 881 00:58:14,021 --> 00:58:15,454 is get married. 882 00:58:15,523 --> 00:58:18,151 So you plan your moment carefully, 883 00:58:18,225 --> 00:58:21,683 making it as enticing and romantic as possible. 884 00:58:21,762 --> 00:58:24,424 And if they accept, you marry 885 00:58:24,498 --> 00:58:27,194 and cross your fingers and hope it lasts. 886 00:58:27,268 --> 00:58:31,728 I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with Diane. 887 00:58:31,806 --> 00:58:34,240 I booked this great old bed and breakfast 888 00:58:34,308 --> 00:58:36,674 on a bluff overlooking the ocean. 889 00:58:36,744 --> 00:58:39,645 We'd go out and watch the sunset... 890 00:59:24,491 --> 00:59:27,221 � Pain in my heart � 891 00:59:27,294 --> 00:59:28,693 Diane? 892 00:59:28,762 --> 00:59:32,163 � You're treating me cold � 893 00:59:32,233 --> 00:59:33,200 Uh... 894 00:59:33,267 --> 00:59:35,235 � Where can my baby be? � 895 00:59:35,302 --> 00:59:37,133 Where are you? 896 00:59:37,238 --> 00:59:39,433 � Lord, no one knows � 897 00:59:41,742 --> 00:59:44,540 � Pain in my heart � 898 00:59:45,913 --> 00:59:49,007 �Just won't let me sleep � 899 00:59:50,284 --> 00:59:52,650 � Where can my baby be? � 900 00:59:54,455 --> 00:59:56,946 � Lord, where can she be? � 901 00:59:58,592 --> 01:00:00,992 [Ring] 902 01:00:01,061 --> 01:00:03,154 � I began to get tough � 903 01:00:03,230 --> 01:00:04,527 Hello? 904 01:00:04,598 --> 01:00:07,032 � I said I want you to come back... � 905 01:00:07,101 --> 01:00:09,535 No. You've got a wrong number. 906 01:00:09,637 --> 01:00:11,229 � Come back, come back, baby � 907 01:00:11,338 --> 01:00:13,932 � I know � 908 01:00:14,041 --> 01:00:14,973 � Oh � 909 01:00:16,577 --> 01:00:17,942 � A little pain in my heart � 910 01:00:18,012 --> 01:00:19,343 [Telephone Rings] 911 01:00:22,750 --> 01:00:23,739 Hello? 912 01:00:24,919 --> 01:00:27,945 Diane, what happened to you? Where are you? 913 01:00:34,194 --> 01:00:35,126 Hi. 914 01:00:35,195 --> 01:00:36,127 Hi. 915 01:00:38,198 --> 01:00:39,722 Where have you been? 916 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:41,131 Huh? 917 01:00:41,201 --> 01:00:42,259 Paul... 918 01:00:43,370 --> 01:00:45,634 so much has happened. 919 01:00:45,739 --> 01:00:47,206 So much. 920 01:00:47,308 --> 01:00:48,434 Tell me. 921 01:00:49,576 --> 01:00:51,544 Well, um... 922 01:00:52,713 --> 01:00:53,645 last week... 923 01:00:54,715 --> 01:00:57,377 something happened between us. 924 01:00:57,451 --> 01:00:58,816 Uh-huh. 925 01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:02,145 Well, we became... 926 01:01:03,524 --> 01:01:04,991 friends. 927 01:01:05,059 --> 01:01:07,254 Friends? 928 01:01:07,328 --> 01:01:09,660 Yeah, I mean... 929 01:01:09,730 --> 01:01:12,665 it's important, isn't it, to be... friends? 930 01:01:12,733 --> 01:01:15,668 Well, yeah, but, uh, I mean, uh... 931 01:01:15,736 --> 01:01:19,695 I thought we became more than friends. 932 01:01:22,209 --> 01:01:26,077 There's something I think I should tell you. 933 01:01:26,146 --> 01:01:29,946 I've been seeing someone... 934 01:01:30,017 --> 01:01:35,512 off and on for about, um, 10 years, 935 01:01:35,589 --> 01:01:37,454 and... and there were problems. 936 01:01:37,524 --> 01:01:40,186 I mean, it never, never really worked out, 937 01:01:40,260 --> 01:01:43,423 but all of a sudden, it's like he's come around. 938 01:01:43,497 --> 01:01:44,623 He's changed. 939 01:01:44,698 --> 01:01:47,633 It's like a dream come true for me. 940 01:01:47,701 --> 01:01:48,690 It's great. 941 01:01:48,769 --> 01:01:50,031 Gary... 942 01:01:54,742 --> 01:01:57,176 um, Gary, this is Paul. 943 01:01:57,244 --> 01:01:59,542 Paul, this is Gary. 944 01:02:09,023 --> 01:02:09,955 Paul... 945 01:02:12,493 --> 01:02:14,552 Paul, please, don't be upset. 946 01:02:16,230 --> 01:02:19,290 We can still be friends, can't we? 947 01:02:29,043 --> 01:02:31,944 At first I was a mess, 948 01:02:32,012 --> 01:02:37,177 and then things just got worse. 949 01:02:37,251 --> 01:02:38,582 I couldn't eat. 950 01:02:38,652 --> 01:02:40,586 I couldn't sleep. 951 01:02:40,654 --> 01:02:42,747 I couldn't do anything but think of Diane. 952 01:02:42,823 --> 01:02:46,350 I had no choice. I had to get her back. 953 01:02:46,427 --> 01:02:48,122 I did what everybody does 954 01:02:48,195 --> 01:02:50,129 when they're in love with somebody 955 01:02:50,197 --> 01:02:52,131 who's in love with somebody else... 956 01:02:52,199 --> 01:02:54,633 You pretend you're willing to be just friends, 957 01:02:54,701 --> 01:02:57,135 but really you're out to sabotage their relationship. 958 01:02:57,237 --> 01:03:00,900 I'd gently steer Diane into the morass of Gary's many faults. 959 01:03:01,008 --> 01:03:02,635 Since I didn't know Gary, 960 01:03:02,743 --> 01:03:06,144 I had to find out what exactly these faults were. 961 01:03:06,213 --> 01:03:08,647 So how's it with, uh, Gary? 962 01:03:08,715 --> 01:03:09,647 Gary's great. 963 01:03:09,716 --> 01:03:11,149 He's a handsome guy. 964 01:03:11,218 --> 01:03:12,651 You think so? 965 01:03:12,719 --> 01:03:15,153 He looks great in a towel, too. 966 01:03:15,222 --> 01:03:17,656 He could be a big towel model. 967 01:03:17,724 --> 01:03:19,157 What's he like? 968 01:03:19,226 --> 01:03:22,423 I didn't really get a chance to meet him. 969 01:03:22,496 --> 01:03:24,191 Well, um... 970 01:03:27,401 --> 01:03:30,336 can you imagine feeling something with someone 971 01:03:30,437 --> 01:03:33,099 that just feels... perfect? 972 01:03:33,207 --> 01:03:35,198 Yeah. 973 01:03:35,309 --> 01:03:37,641 That's how I would describe Gary. 974 01:03:37,711 --> 01:03:39,474 He's just... perfect. 975 01:03:39,546 --> 01:03:40,604 Perfect? 976 01:03:41,682 --> 01:03:43,445 Wow... perfect. 977 01:03:44,618 --> 01:03:48,179 Besides perfect, w-what is he like? 978 01:03:48,255 --> 01:03:51,122 Well, he's, uh... 979 01:03:51,191 --> 01:03:53,625 he's kind of a perfectionist. 980 01:03:53,694 --> 01:03:57,130 So... So he's perfect, and he's a perfectionist. 981 01:03:57,197 --> 01:03:58,129 So, yeah. 982 01:03:58,198 --> 01:04:01,167 I mean... but what does that mean? 983 01:04:01,235 --> 01:04:02,167 He's punctual? 984 01:04:02,236 --> 01:04:04,136 Well, he's, um... 985 01:04:04,238 --> 01:04:06,672 Oh, he's very resolute. 986 01:04:06,740 --> 01:04:09,834 He wants to do what he wants to do. 987 01:04:09,943 --> 01:04:11,342 Is that good? 988 01:04:11,411 --> 01:04:13,140 Do you like that about him? 989 01:04:13,213 --> 01:04:14,976 Usually. 990 01:04:15,048 --> 01:04:16,481 Not always? 991 01:04:16,550 --> 01:04:18,142 Well, it... 992 01:04:18,218 --> 01:04:22,154 Sometimes he just likes to do things 993 01:04:22,222 --> 01:04:25,020 that I... I really don't like to do. 994 01:04:28,762 --> 01:04:30,525 [Telephone Rings] 995 01:04:30,597 --> 01:04:32,531 Oh. I'm sorry. 996 01:04:33,901 --> 01:04:34,993 Hello? 997 01:04:36,069 --> 01:04:36,967 Hi. 998 01:04:38,071 --> 01:04:41,006 Oh, I was just talking to Paul. 999 01:04:42,075 --> 01:04:44,134 Gary, we're just friends. 1000 01:04:44,244 --> 01:04:46,007 Gary, I... 1001 01:04:47,214 --> 01:04:48,306 O.K. 1002 01:04:49,449 --> 01:04:50,381 O.K. 1003 01:04:51,451 --> 01:04:53,112 I love you. 1004 01:04:53,187 --> 01:04:55,155 All right. 1005 01:04:55,222 --> 01:04:56,655 I love you. 1006 01:04:56,723 --> 01:04:59,021 O.K. Bye. 1007 01:05:03,030 --> 01:05:06,090 Gary doesn't want me talking to you anymore. 1008 01:05:08,168 --> 01:05:10,261 Diane, what do you want? 1009 01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:15,674 I don't want to lose him. 1010 01:05:15,742 --> 01:05:17,175 I love him. 1011 01:05:18,712 --> 01:05:21,112 Sorry. 1012 01:05:21,181 --> 01:05:24,617 This plan was clearly not going to work. 1013 01:05:24,685 --> 01:05:27,153 Gary's influence over Diane was too powerful. 1014 01:05:27,221 --> 01:05:29,655 She'd do anything to make him happy. 1015 01:05:29,723 --> 01:05:33,420 It was like she'd joined some kind of cult. 1016 01:05:35,596 --> 01:05:40,033 I went from feeling I'd be in love with Diane forever 1017 01:05:40,100 --> 01:05:44,560 to wondering if I'd ever fall in love with anyone again. 1018 01:05:44,638 --> 01:05:45,900 I would. 1019 01:05:54,114 --> 01:05:55,445 [Honk Honk] 1020 01:05:55,515 --> 01:05:56,447 [Coughs] 1021 01:05:56,516 --> 01:05:57,448 [Honk] 1022 01:05:57,517 --> 01:05:58,848 [Coughs] 1023 01:05:58,919 --> 01:06:00,113 [Honk Honk] 1024 01:06:03,123 --> 01:06:04,681 [Knock Knock] 1025 01:06:07,761 --> 01:06:09,023 Oh, hi. 1026 01:06:10,264 --> 01:06:13,131 Hi. I was in the area. 1027 01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:16,135 I thought I'd stop by and say hello. 1028 01:06:16,203 --> 01:06:19,195 Oh, that was very nice of you. 1029 01:06:19,306 --> 01:06:22,139 Uh... do you want to come in? 1030 01:06:23,210 --> 01:06:24,142 O.K. 1031 01:06:36,290 --> 01:06:38,656 Can I use your bathroom? 1032 01:07:29,142 --> 01:07:33,442 So, uh... what is it you do again? 1033 01:07:33,513 --> 01:07:35,105 Accountant or something? 1034 01:07:46,226 --> 01:07:47,659 There we go. 1035 01:07:47,728 --> 01:07:49,161 So is that everything? 1036 01:07:49,229 --> 01:07:51,163 Yeah, this is the whole thing. 1037 01:07:51,231 --> 01:07:52,664 Cables? 1038 01:07:52,733 --> 01:07:55,167 The cables are in with the instruction books. 1039 01:07:55,235 --> 01:07:56,668 Good job, buddy. 1040 01:07:56,737 --> 01:07:58,705 You're coming right back, right? 1041 01:07:58,772 --> 01:07:59,704 You bet. 1042 01:07:59,773 --> 01:08:01,741 O.K. Bye-bye. 1043 01:08:03,777 --> 01:08:06,575 I gave her anything I had of value, 1044 01:08:06,646 --> 01:08:08,580 including all the love potion. 1045 01:08:08,648 --> 01:08:11,173 I tried explaining how it affects the pharyngeals, 1046 01:08:11,251 --> 01:08:14,220 but this was clearly a woman more interested 1047 01:08:14,287 --> 01:08:16,687 in fiduciary gain than in science. 1048 01:08:16,757 --> 01:08:18,816 Great girl. 1049 01:08:18,892 --> 01:08:22,692 For four hours, I could think of nothing but Marisa... 1050 01:08:22,763 --> 01:08:27,063 Beautiful, intelligent, all-around wonderful gal Marisa. 1051 01:08:27,134 --> 01:08:29,068 Then four hours later... 1052 01:08:30,237 --> 01:08:31,636 I could've strangled her. 1053 01:08:31,738 --> 01:08:34,206 I couldn't believe how powerful an influence 1054 01:08:34,307 --> 01:08:35,740 the potion had over me. 1055 01:08:35,809 --> 01:08:38,642 I would've done anything to make Marisa happy. 1056 01:08:38,712 --> 01:08:42,648 It was like I had joined some kind of cult. 1057 01:08:44,451 --> 01:08:47,648 You sold all of it, the whole bottle? 1058 01:08:47,721 --> 01:08:49,120 Yes. 1059 01:08:49,189 --> 01:08:51,783 The person who bought this, what did they look like? 1060 01:08:51,858 --> 01:08:55,726 Tall, very handsome, dark eyes, dark hair. 1061 01:08:55,796 --> 01:08:58,060 Did he wear a ring? 1062 01:08:58,131 --> 01:09:00,156 Yes. 1063 01:09:00,233 --> 01:09:03,430 A gold snake with rubies for eyes. 1064 01:09:10,277 --> 01:09:11,209 Hello? 1065 01:09:11,311 --> 01:09:13,677 Diane, I just got back from Madame Ruth's. 1066 01:09:13,747 --> 01:09:16,181 Gary is using the potion on you. 1067 01:09:16,249 --> 01:09:17,739 I'm in love with him. 1068 01:09:17,818 --> 01:09:20,184 No, you're not. Go away for four hours 1069 01:09:20,253 --> 01:09:23,188 and see if you're still in love with him. 1070 01:09:23,256 --> 01:09:24,689 Paul, this is ridiculous. 1071 01:09:24,758 --> 01:09:27,693 Why does he make you take the telephone everywhere? 1072 01:09:27,761 --> 01:09:30,195 Does he call you every four hours? 1073 01:09:30,263 --> 01:09:33,198 He thinks you're using the love potion on me. 1074 01:09:33,266 --> 01:09:35,200 Don't tell him! He's the enemy! 1075 01:09:35,268 --> 01:09:37,133 [Gary] Just hang up the phone, Diane. 1076 01:09:37,237 --> 01:09:39,671 He must have found out about it. 1077 01:09:39,739 --> 01:09:41,172 Did you write it down? 1078 01:09:41,241 --> 01:09:42,674 I have to go. 1079 01:09:42,742 --> 01:09:44,175 [Gary] Hang up the phone. 1080 01:09:44,244 --> 01:09:47,145 He must have read your journal and... 1081 01:09:47,214 --> 01:09:48,146 [Click] 1082 01:09:53,587 --> 01:09:54,519 Diane. 1083 01:09:54,588 --> 01:09:56,522 I'm not listening to you. 1084 01:09:56,590 --> 01:09:59,525 I am not using it. He is. 1085 01:09:59,593 --> 01:10:01,026 It'll wear off someday, 1086 01:10:01,094 --> 01:10:04,154 and you'll be pregnant, and you'll be married, 1087 01:10:04,231 --> 01:10:06,165 and you'll have that asshole's children. 1088 01:10:06,233 --> 01:10:09,669 It'll wear off. You'll be married to a man you hate 1089 01:10:09,736 --> 01:10:11,838 with a bunch of little assholes running around! 1090 01:10:11,972 --> 01:10:13,269 I kept calling her, 1091 01:10:13,340 --> 01:10:15,934 but she wouldn't take my calls. 1092 01:10:16,042 --> 01:10:17,441 I wrote her letters, 1093 01:10:17,544 --> 01:10:18,943 but they came back unanswered. 1094 01:10:19,012 --> 01:10:20,138 I tried confronting Gary. 1095 01:10:21,414 --> 01:10:23,644 That didn't work. 1096 01:10:23,717 --> 01:10:25,912 There was only one stone left unturned. 1097 01:10:25,986 --> 01:10:27,920 Do you have an antidote 1098 01:10:27,988 --> 01:10:30,320 or something more powerful or... 1099 01:10:32,359 --> 01:10:33,417 Sit down. 1100 01:11:21,841 --> 01:11:24,537 Years ago there was a plague. 1101 01:11:26,146 --> 01:11:28,171 It affected many people. 1102 01:11:28,281 --> 01:11:32,217 It did not in any way make them feel ill. 1103 01:11:32,285 --> 01:11:35,311 They lived long lives, but... 1104 01:11:40,226 --> 01:11:42,694 something inside of them died... 1105 01:11:42,762 --> 01:11:45,253 The capacity to love forever. 1106 01:11:46,833 --> 01:11:49,267 This is the cure. 1107 01:11:55,508 --> 01:12:00,241 Love Potion Number Nine does not create emotion. 1108 01:12:00,347 --> 01:12:02,577 It purifies it. 1109 01:12:02,649 --> 01:12:04,344 Love is often obscured 1110 01:12:04,417 --> 01:12:09,081 by doubt, prejudice, suspicion. 1111 01:12:10,857 --> 01:12:13,018 With number nine, 1112 01:12:13,093 --> 01:12:16,529 all that is eliminated. 1113 01:12:16,596 --> 01:12:18,587 It becomes pure. 1114 01:12:19,866 --> 01:12:22,460 The greatest tragedy in life 1115 01:12:22,535 --> 01:12:24,469 is when love fades. 1116 01:12:25,872 --> 01:12:28,807 With Love Potion Number Nine, 1117 01:12:28,875 --> 01:12:30,308 it never fades. 1118 01:12:31,845 --> 01:12:34,939 So if you ever loved each other 1119 01:12:35,048 --> 01:12:37,414 and you both take this potion, 1120 01:12:37,484 --> 01:12:39,918 you will love each other again, 1121 01:12:39,986 --> 01:12:42,921 as much as you ever loved each other... 1122 01:12:42,989 --> 01:12:44,388 forever. 1123 01:12:48,795 --> 01:12:51,923 Are you absolutely sure she was in love with you? 1124 01:12:51,998 --> 01:12:53,260 Uh... 1125 01:12:55,435 --> 01:12:56,367 mm-hmm. 1126 01:12:57,737 --> 01:12:58,669 Why? 1127 01:12:58,738 --> 01:13:00,763 If you both take this potion 1128 01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:03,274 and you were in love with her 1129 01:13:03,376 --> 01:13:06,277 but she really never was in love with you, 1130 01:13:06,346 --> 01:13:09,782 you will love her for the rest of your life, 1131 01:13:09,849 --> 01:13:13,250 and she will hate you for the rest of hers. 1132 01:13:19,859 --> 01:13:21,087 Great. 1133 01:13:32,005 --> 01:13:33,939 How does it work? 1134 01:13:35,108 --> 01:13:38,202 She said drink from the same cup, then kiss. 1135 01:13:38,311 --> 01:13:40,745 Five minutes later, it will take effect. 1136 01:13:40,814 --> 01:13:43,749 If your heart is willing and can be pleased, wait and listen, 1137 01:13:43,817 --> 01:13:46,547 and you'll hear a song from the breeze. 1138 01:13:46,619 --> 01:13:49,247 So if you're willing to fall in love, 1139 01:13:49,322 --> 01:13:51,756 and five minutes after the big smooch, 1140 01:13:51,825 --> 01:13:53,759 you'll hear this wind musical thing, 1141 01:13:53,827 --> 01:13:56,387 and whoosh, you're in love forever. 1142 01:13:56,463 --> 01:14:00,194 If your heart is stubborn like the heart of a fool, 1143 01:14:00,266 --> 01:14:02,894 you will taste the sweat of a mule. 1144 01:14:02,969 --> 01:14:06,268 So if you're an asshole and not willing to commit, 1145 01:14:06,339 --> 01:14:08,273 then five minutes after the kiss, 1146 01:14:08,341 --> 01:14:09,774 you'll taste mule sweat, 1147 01:14:09,843 --> 01:14:11,174 which, I imagine, is terrible. 1148 01:14:11,277 --> 01:14:13,745 So if I take this potion with Diane, 1149 01:14:13,847 --> 01:14:15,781 I kiss her, five minutes later... 1150 01:14:15,849 --> 01:14:18,283 assuming that she's still in love with me... 1151 01:14:18,351 --> 01:14:20,285 number nine will override number eight, 1152 01:14:20,353 --> 01:14:22,787 no matter how much Gary takes number eight. 1153 01:14:22,856 --> 01:14:25,347 That's assuming she's in love with me. 1154 01:14:25,425 --> 01:14:27,052 Paul... 1155 01:14:27,127 --> 01:14:30,290 And this is the reason why you guys are here... 1156 01:14:30,363 --> 01:14:31,796 Diane's not talking to me, 1157 01:14:31,865 --> 01:14:34,299 so she's not going to willingly take the potion. 1158 01:14:34,367 --> 01:14:35,800 I'm going to need your help. 1159 01:14:35,869 --> 01:14:37,734 The plan is very simple. 1160 01:14:37,804 --> 01:14:40,739 We go to her house, I knock on the door... 1161 01:14:40,807 --> 01:14:42,741 You guys wait on the foyer... 1162 01:14:42,842 --> 01:14:45,743 If she answers, I burst in. You guys follow. 1163 01:14:45,812 --> 01:14:48,246 If she doesn't, we knock down the door, 1164 01:14:48,314 --> 01:14:50,805 grab her, hold her down, I tickle her knee, 1165 01:14:50,917 --> 01:14:53,078 and her mouth will open. 1166 01:14:53,153 --> 01:14:56,748 I force the potion in, get her to swallow it. 1167 01:14:56,823 --> 01:14:59,758 I kiss her. Then we wait for five minutes. 1168 01:14:59,826 --> 01:15:01,760 Of course, getting her to swallow 1169 01:15:01,828 --> 01:15:04,763 is going to be the toughest part 1170 01:15:04,831 --> 01:15:07,459 'cause, hey, you know, women don't want to swallow. 1171 01:15:07,534 --> 01:15:09,525 Sorry. Uh... 1172 01:15:09,602 --> 01:15:12,036 Oh, also, if Gary is there, 1173 01:15:12,105 --> 01:15:14,039 it's going to get physical, 1174 01:15:14,107 --> 01:15:15,039 'cause, uh... 1175 01:15:15,108 --> 01:15:17,269 But there are four of us, 1176 01:15:17,377 --> 01:15:20,278 and I think we can take him... 1177 01:15:20,346 --> 01:15:22,280 unless he has a gun, 1178 01:15:22,348 --> 01:15:23,781 but chances are pretty remote. 1179 01:15:23,850 --> 01:15:25,784 You guys have any questions? 1180 01:15:28,388 --> 01:15:30,288 What? What? What's with that look? 1181 01:15:30,356 --> 01:15:31,721 You don't believe me? 1182 01:15:31,791 --> 01:15:34,726 It's not a matter of not believing you. 1183 01:15:34,794 --> 01:15:36,284 It's just... 1184 01:15:36,362 --> 01:15:39,798 I think it is a matter of not believing you. 1185 01:15:39,866 --> 01:15:42,300 Not only that, but you're asking us 1186 01:15:42,368 --> 01:15:44,461 to break a number of laws... 1187 01:15:44,537 --> 01:15:46,471 breaking and entering, assault, battery. 1188 01:15:46,539 --> 01:15:49,167 Ron, do you believe me? 1189 01:15:49,242 --> 01:15:52,177 I'd sooner believe the Single Bullet Theory. 1190 01:15:59,886 --> 01:16:01,911 [Knock On Door] 1191 01:16:01,988 --> 01:16:03,046 Hold on. 1192 01:16:10,063 --> 01:16:13,032 I'm running kind of low, sweetheart. 1193 01:16:13,099 --> 01:16:16,830 This Gary guy has the rest of the potion, right? 1194 01:16:16,903 --> 01:16:18,336 Yeah, that's right. 1195 01:16:18,404 --> 01:16:19,336 Great. 1196 01:16:30,617 --> 01:16:32,050 Bye-bye, now. 1197 01:16:32,118 --> 01:16:33,380 Bye-bye. 1198 01:16:33,453 --> 01:16:35,080 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 1199 01:16:35,154 --> 01:16:36,781 [Laughing] 1200 01:16:36,856 --> 01:16:38,756 [Coughing] 1201 01:16:42,362 --> 01:16:44,296 My God. 1202 01:16:44,364 --> 01:16:46,491 She's an angel. 1203 01:16:46,566 --> 01:16:47,498 That bitch. 1204 01:16:47,567 --> 01:16:50,502 She took my Rolex and my wallet. 1205 01:16:50,570 --> 01:16:52,003 Yes. Yes, that's right. 1206 01:16:52,071 --> 01:16:55,006 I'd like to report a stolen Visa Card. 1207 01:16:55,074 --> 01:16:56,006 Thank you. 1208 01:16:57,877 --> 01:17:00,812 What am I going to tellJudy? 1209 01:17:00,880 --> 01:17:03,314 Tell her you're a schmuck. 1210 01:17:03,383 --> 01:17:06,750 You guys going to help me now or what? 1211 01:17:16,896 --> 01:17:19,831 Remember. What do you do if Marisa shows up? 1212 01:17:19,899 --> 01:17:22,333 Beat the living shit out of her. 1213 01:17:22,402 --> 01:17:24,836 Cover your ears. Yell and scream. 1214 01:17:24,904 --> 01:17:25,836 Don't listen to her. 1215 01:17:25,905 --> 01:17:27,839 What if Gary shows up? 1216 01:17:27,907 --> 01:17:30,341 Beat the living shit out of him. 1217 01:17:30,443 --> 01:17:31,535 Good. 1218 01:17:31,644 --> 01:17:32,770 Shh. 1219 01:17:35,915 --> 01:17:36,779 Hi. 1220 01:17:36,849 --> 01:17:37,781 Hello. 1221 01:17:37,850 --> 01:17:39,340 Are you Diane's friend? 1222 01:17:39,452 --> 01:17:41,386 - Yeah. Who are you? - Paul. 1223 01:17:41,454 --> 01:17:42,785 You're the Paul she works with? 1224 01:17:42,855 --> 01:17:43,787 Yeah. 1225 01:17:43,856 --> 01:17:46,757 The one she hit it off with? 1226 01:17:46,826 --> 01:17:48,691 She told me not to talk to you. 1227 01:17:48,761 --> 01:17:51,696 There's something strange going on here, isn't there? 1228 01:17:51,764 --> 01:17:53,197 Yes, there is. 1229 01:17:53,266 --> 01:17:55,791 Suddenly she's dating the prince of England, 1230 01:17:55,868 --> 01:17:57,802 then she's crazy about you, 1231 01:17:57,870 --> 01:17:59,929 now she's marrying the schmuck. 1232 01:18:00,006 --> 01:18:01,439 Marrying? She's marrying him? 1233 01:18:01,507 --> 01:18:02,633 - Yes. - When? 1234 01:18:02,709 --> 01:18:04,074 In about an hour. 1235 01:18:04,177 --> 01:18:05,337 Oh, Jesus. 1236 01:18:05,445 --> 01:18:08,778 She forgot this in all the excitement. 1237 01:18:08,848 --> 01:18:10,338 Uh, hi. 1238 01:18:11,451 --> 01:18:12,884 What's happening here? 1239 01:18:12,952 --> 01:18:15,216 Would you like me to tell you? 1240 01:18:15,288 --> 01:18:18,223 You get her to drink from the glass, 1241 01:18:18,291 --> 01:18:20,816 then bring the glass back to me. 1242 01:18:20,893 --> 01:18:23,953 I'll sip from it, come in, and kiss her. 1243 01:18:30,737 --> 01:18:33,672 So this guy Gary, is he big? 1244 01:18:33,740 --> 01:18:34,832 Yeah. 1245 01:18:38,344 --> 01:18:41,279 Now, you said that she was crazy about me. 1246 01:18:41,347 --> 01:18:44,282 Is that the word she used, crazy? 1247 01:18:44,350 --> 01:18:45,783 Yes. 1248 01:18:45,852 --> 01:18:50,289 Did she ever say that she was in love with me? 1249 01:18:50,356 --> 01:18:52,290 Did she use that word? 1250 01:18:52,358 --> 01:18:53,825 No. She said crazy. 1251 01:18:53,893 --> 01:18:54,825 [Cork Pops] 1252 01:18:57,263 --> 01:18:59,788 [Madame Ruth] If your heart is decisive 1253 01:18:59,866 --> 01:19:02,300 and your heart can be pleased, 1254 01:19:02,368 --> 01:19:03,801 wait and listen. 1255 01:19:03,870 --> 01:19:07,533 You will hear a song from the breeze. 1256 01:19:07,607 --> 01:19:08,801 Oh, great. 1257 01:19:08,875 --> 01:19:10,308 This is great. 1258 01:19:10,410 --> 01:19:11,274 Oh, O.K. 1259 01:19:11,377 --> 01:19:13,311 Now, it is a tradition 1260 01:19:13,379 --> 01:19:16,314 for the bride and the matron of honor 1261 01:19:16,382 --> 01:19:17,314 to drink champagne 1262 01:19:17,383 --> 01:19:19,317 out of each other's glasses. 1263 01:19:19,385 --> 01:19:20,317 It is? 1264 01:19:20,386 --> 01:19:21,318 It is? 1265 01:19:21,387 --> 01:19:22,319 It is. 1266 01:19:22,388 --> 01:19:24,879 It's sort of an Irish thing. 1267 01:19:24,957 --> 01:19:26,822 Did you know that? 1268 01:19:26,893 --> 01:19:27,825 No. 1269 01:19:27,894 --> 01:19:29,327 Well, uh, pour. 1270 01:19:29,395 --> 01:19:30,828 Grandma. 1271 01:19:30,897 --> 01:19:31,829 O.K. 1272 01:19:31,898 --> 01:19:32,830 Um... 1273 01:19:38,171 --> 01:19:39,968 Here. 1274 01:19:40,039 --> 01:19:42,473 O.K. Now, hold your glass up 1275 01:19:42,542 --> 01:19:43,975 really nice and high. 1276 01:19:44,077 --> 01:19:45,237 O.K. 1277 01:19:45,344 --> 01:19:48,279 And... to Diane 1278 01:19:48,347 --> 01:19:49,780 and... whoever. 1279 01:19:49,849 --> 01:19:50,781 Gary. 1280 01:19:50,850 --> 01:19:51,782 Right. 1281 01:19:52,852 --> 01:19:55,650 You look beautiful. 1282 01:19:55,721 --> 01:19:56,813 Mmm. 1283 01:19:56,889 --> 01:19:58,982 Gary, get out of here! 1284 01:20:00,726 --> 01:20:04,162 It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride 1285 01:20:04,230 --> 01:20:05,788 before the wedding. 1286 01:20:05,865 --> 01:20:07,799 Well, then, 1287 01:20:07,867 --> 01:20:10,335 here's to bad luck. 1288 01:20:20,813 --> 01:20:23,748 [Madame Ruth] There is something you can do. 1289 01:20:23,816 --> 01:20:26,751 You must drink from the same glass, 1290 01:20:26,819 --> 01:20:27,843 then kiss her. 1291 01:20:27,920 --> 01:20:30,320 Drink from the same glass, then kiss her? 1292 01:20:30,389 --> 01:20:31,822 She will fall in love 1293 01:20:31,891 --> 01:20:33,825 with the man she loved most 1294 01:20:33,893 --> 01:20:35,326 and hate the other forever, 1295 01:20:35,394 --> 01:20:38,659 but if you wait too long, it won't work. 1296 01:20:53,346 --> 01:20:54,278 Hmm... 1297 01:20:54,347 --> 01:20:55,279 No... 1298 01:20:55,348 --> 01:20:56,280 Whoa... 1299 01:20:56,349 --> 01:20:57,543 No... 1300 01:20:57,617 --> 01:20:58,549 Aah! 1301 01:20:58,618 --> 01:20:59,550 Aah! 1302 01:20:59,619 --> 01:21:00,551 Back up. 1303 01:21:00,620 --> 01:21:01,552 Oh! 1304 01:21:02,622 --> 01:21:04,055 Just get out. 1305 01:21:04,123 --> 01:21:05,055 No! 1306 01:21:05,124 --> 01:21:07,058 O.K., move. I'll crack this... 1307 01:21:07,126 --> 01:21:08,559 Put it down! 1308 01:21:08,628 --> 01:21:10,061 Just step aside. Diane... 1309 01:21:10,129 --> 01:21:12,290 Oh, God! 1310 01:21:12,365 --> 01:21:14,492 Diane. Diane. 1311 01:21:21,374 --> 01:21:22,807 Mmm! 1312 01:21:22,875 --> 01:21:24,809 Look, fellas, I... I... I... 1313 01:21:24,877 --> 01:21:26,310 I'm not crazy, O.K.? 1314 01:21:26,379 --> 01:21:27,812 I'm not insane. 1315 01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:31,077 Mmm, oh, no! 1316 01:21:33,553 --> 01:21:36,317 Hello, Gary. 1317 01:21:36,389 --> 01:21:39,256 Now, listen. I know you're in a hurry 1318 01:21:39,325 --> 01:21:41,816 to get married, 1319 01:21:41,894 --> 01:21:44,328 so let's skip the small talk. 1320 01:21:44,397 --> 01:21:46,524 You've got something I want. 1321 01:21:49,969 --> 01:21:51,436 Oh. 1322 01:21:55,141 --> 01:21:56,904 It's so... 1323 01:21:56,976 --> 01:21:58,034 thick. 1324 01:21:58,110 --> 01:22:00,704 You're supposed to dilute it. 1325 01:22:03,149 --> 01:22:05,879 Completely pure? 1326 01:22:13,859 --> 01:22:16,225 [Madame Ruth] If your heart is stubborn 1327 01:22:16,295 --> 01:22:18,763 like the heart of a fool, 1328 01:22:18,831 --> 01:22:20,264 you'll wait, hear nothing, 1329 01:22:20,333 --> 01:22:23,268 but taste the sweat of the mule. 1330 01:22:23,336 --> 01:22:24,268 What? 1331 01:22:24,337 --> 01:22:25,998 What are you doing? 1332 01:22:32,311 --> 01:22:34,745 [Spitting] 1333 01:22:34,814 --> 01:22:36,076 Stop! 1334 01:22:37,250 --> 01:22:38,478 Gary. 1335 01:22:41,087 --> 01:22:43,419 Let me do this. 1336 01:22:45,258 --> 01:22:46,691 Gary, don't! 1337 01:22:46,759 --> 01:22:48,056 Stop! 1338 01:22:56,135 --> 01:22:57,568 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1339 01:23:00,806 --> 01:23:02,398 Come on. 1340 01:23:06,078 --> 01:23:08,205 If any present knows any reason 1341 01:23:08,281 --> 01:23:11,114 why they may not lawfully be joined in marriage, 1342 01:23:11,183 --> 01:23:12,980 let them speak now 1343 01:23:13,052 --> 01:23:14,986 or forever hold their peace. 1344 01:23:49,221 --> 01:23:50,813 Yecchh! 1345 01:23:50,890 --> 01:23:52,289 Yecchh! 1346 01:23:52,358 --> 01:23:55,020 [Coughing] 1347 01:23:55,094 --> 01:23:56,527 Do you, Diane Farrow, 1348 01:23:56,629 --> 01:24:00,065 take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, 1349 01:24:00,132 --> 01:24:02,066 in sickness and in health, 1350 01:24:02,134 --> 01:24:05,228 as long as you both shall live? 1351 01:24:05,304 --> 01:24:06,862 I do. 1352 01:24:07,940 --> 01:24:08,998 The ring. 1353 01:24:37,503 --> 01:24:40,404 [Cough Cough Cough] 1354 01:24:46,979 --> 01:24:48,810 Excuse me. 1355 01:24:57,356 --> 01:24:59,483 What's going on? 1356 01:24:59,558 --> 01:25:01,753 You bitch! 1357 01:25:01,827 --> 01:25:03,886 You god damn whore! 1358 01:25:03,996 --> 01:25:05,224 Ow! 1359 01:25:05,331 --> 01:25:06,662 Tramp! 1360 01:25:08,768 --> 01:25:10,201 You bitch! 1361 01:25:33,292 --> 01:25:34,224 Jesus Christ! 1362 01:25:34,293 --> 01:25:37,228 Uh, guys, we got a major code 29 1363 01:25:37,329 --> 01:25:38,318 right outside. 1364 01:25:39,732 --> 01:25:40,664 Everybody out! 1365 01:25:40,733 --> 01:25:42,132 Get with it, guys! 1366 01:25:42,201 --> 01:25:43,133 Move! 1367 01:25:43,202 --> 01:25:44,134 Go, go! 1368 01:25:44,203 --> 01:25:45,465 Everybody move! 1369 01:26:03,222 --> 01:26:07,181 [Waltz Of The Flowers Plays] 1370 01:26:10,729 --> 01:26:12,993 Help! 1371 01:26:56,342 --> 01:26:59,470 [Singing] 1372 01:27:00,679 --> 01:27:04,615 Help! 1373 01:27:18,230 --> 01:27:19,162 � Mo mo � 1374 01:27:19,231 --> 01:27:20,163 � Hmm, mo � 1375 01:27:20,232 --> 01:27:21,995 � Ooh, yeah � 1376 01:27:22,067 --> 01:27:30,566 [Humming And Singing] 1377 01:27:30,643 --> 01:27:31,769 � Ooh � 1378 01:27:31,844 --> 01:27:33,277 � Ma, ma, ma, ma, � 1379 01:27:33,345 --> 01:27:34,778 � Ma, ma, ma, ma, � 1380 01:27:34,847 --> 01:27:36,747 � Ma, ma, ma, ma, � 1381 01:27:44,290 --> 01:27:47,225 [Telephone] If you'd like to make a call, 1382 01:27:47,293 --> 01:27:49,727 please hang up and try again. 1383 01:27:49,828 --> 01:27:52,262 If you need help, dial 0. 1384 01:27:52,331 --> 01:27:53,696 [Beeping] 1385 01:28:03,242 --> 01:28:05,233 [Car Engines Running] 1386 01:28:10,883 --> 01:28:11,815 [Tires Squeal] 1387 01:28:50,956 --> 01:28:52,355 Diane. 1388 01:28:56,829 --> 01:28:58,262 Where have you been? 1389 01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:02,858 Oh! 1390 01:30:04,296 --> 01:30:06,287 No! 1391 01:30:28,120 --> 01:30:31,112 Um, touch your finger to your nose. 1392 01:30:34,626 --> 01:30:37,151 Hop on one foot. 1393 01:30:37,262 --> 01:30:39,696 Put your hands in the air 1394 01:30:39,765 --> 01:30:40,754 and go... 1395 01:30:43,602 --> 01:30:46,366 Grab your nipples like this, real hard. 1396 01:30:49,374 --> 01:30:52,400 You like that, don't you? 1397 01:30:52,478 --> 01:30:53,445 Ooh. 1398 01:30:53,512 --> 01:30:56,948 [All] Ooh. 1399 01:30:58,784 --> 01:31:03,050 Now I think it's time for a little magic. 1400 01:31:31,316 --> 01:31:33,750 Well, I'd like to tell you 1401 01:31:33,819 --> 01:31:36,686 that five minutes after I kissed Diane, 1402 01:31:36,755 --> 01:31:39,690 she came running out into my arms 1403 01:31:39,758 --> 01:31:42,693 and that we fell in love forever, 1404 01:31:42,761 --> 01:31:44,820 but that's not what happened. 1405 01:31:46,098 --> 01:31:48,032 It took six minutes. 1406 01:32:00,045 --> 01:32:01,307 I'm sorry. 1407 01:32:05,250 --> 01:32:07,684 It's all right. 1408 01:32:07,753 --> 01:32:09,687 Let's get out of here. 1409 01:32:09,755 --> 01:32:11,052 O.K. 1410 01:32:30,309 --> 01:32:33,836 [Madame Ruth] Ahh, that's nice. 1411 01:32:57,436 --> 01:33:01,702 � I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth � 1412 01:33:01,773 --> 01:33:06,335 � You know, that Gypsy with the gold-capped tooth � 1413 01:33:06,411 --> 01:33:10,677 � She's got a storefront at 34th and Vine � 1414 01:33:10,749 --> 01:33:13,843 � Sellin' little bottles of � 1415 01:33:13,919 --> 01:33:16,387 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1416 01:33:18,056 --> 01:33:22,459 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1417 01:33:22,527 --> 01:33:24,461 � Oh, oh, oh � 1418 01:33:24,529 --> 01:33:29,057 � I told her everything was goin' fine � 1419 01:33:29,167 --> 01:33:33,194 � Everything except that man of mine � 1420 01:33:33,305 --> 01:33:35,205 � She looked at my palm � 1421 01:33:35,274 --> 01:33:37,742 � Made a magic sign � 1422 01:33:37,809 --> 01:33:40,676 � Said, What you need is � 1423 01:33:40,746 --> 01:33:45,046 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1424 01:33:45,117 --> 01:33:49,611 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1425 01:33:49,688 --> 01:33:54,182 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1426 01:33:54,259 --> 01:34:00,391 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1427 01:34:00,499 --> 01:34:02,660 � She jumped down, turned around � 1428 01:34:02,768 --> 01:34:04,998 � Gave me a wink � 1429 01:34:05,070 --> 01:34:07,095 � Said, I'm gonna mix it up � 1430 01:34:07,205 --> 01:34:09,571 � Right here in the sink � 1431 01:34:09,641 --> 01:34:11,302 � It smelled like turpentine � 1432 01:34:11,376 --> 01:34:14,072 � Looked like india ink � 1433 01:34:14,146 --> 01:34:16,444 � I held my nose, closed my eyes � 1434 01:34:16,515 --> 01:34:19,177 � I took a drink � 1435 01:34:19,251 --> 01:34:23,449 � Didn't know if it was day or night � 1436 01:34:23,522 --> 01:34:27,686 � I started kissin' every man in sight � 1437 01:34:27,759 --> 01:34:30,159 � Never been so turned on � 1438 01:34:30,228 --> 01:34:32,321 � Never felt so fine � 1439 01:34:32,431 --> 01:34:35,195 � Gonna give my man some � 1440 01:34:35,300 --> 01:34:38,201 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1441 01:34:39,738 --> 01:34:44,038 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1442 01:34:44,109 --> 01:34:48,512 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1443 01:34:48,580 --> 01:34:52,243 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1444 01:35:13,438 --> 01:35:17,898 � I didn't know if it was day or night � 1445 01:35:17,976 --> 01:35:22,003 � I started kissin' every man in sight � 1446 01:35:22,080 --> 01:35:24,810 � Never been so turned on � 1447 01:35:24,883 --> 01:35:27,181 � Never felt so fine � 1448 01:35:27,252 --> 01:35:29,345 � Gonna give my man some � 1449 01:35:29,421 --> 01:35:33,949 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1450 01:35:34,026 --> 01:35:38,463 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1451 01:35:38,530 --> 01:35:42,990 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1452 01:35:43,068 --> 01:35:47,505 � Love Potion Number Nine � 1453 01:35:47,606 --> 01:35:49,471 � Love Potion Number � 1454 01:35:49,541 --> 01:35:51,475 � When I get the notion � 1455 01:35:51,543 --> 01:35:54,205 � I take a little potion � 1456 01:35:54,279 --> 01:35:57,476 � Love Potion... � 93167