Original subtitles

[THEME SONG: Here we go, we're getting on the road till we

stop, and then we'll shop.

So 1, 2, 3, now baby, here we go, go, go!

Here we go!

Here we go!

On a mission undercover, and we're in control.

Here we go!

Here we go!

We're Totally Spies, get on with the show.

Here we go!

Here we go!

Here we go!]

[music and audience cheering]

-Thank you, Amsterdam!

Good night!

[cheering and screaming]

-Oh, I forgot my pen.

I'll be right back.

[gasping]

Hey!

Who are--

ahh!

[muffled screaming]

-I'm so psyched to try this.

I heard Power Yoga Chi-Kwon-Do is the best spot to get a good

workout and meet cute guys.

Just try to keep up and don't embarrass me.

-Yoga's a snap.

I doubt we'll even break a sweat.

[gong ringing]

-Hello, I'm Shirley.

Welcome to my world of pain.

-Oh.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

-Follow me!

If you dare!

Long tiger!

[roaring]

-Squatting bear!

[growling]

-Whoa!

Yahh!

-Skipping goat!

[goat bleating]

-Uh!

-Uh.

Maybe we should have started with the beginner class.

I think Shirley has issues.

-Oh, I didn't realize it was helping the needy day.

-Hello Mandy.

What are you doing here?

-I was just getting an aromatherapy bath.

[sniffing]

Ugh.

You three should try one.

-What's with the bandage?

-It's a tattoo.

Tats are totally in right now.

I'm having a coming out pool party for the

unveiling this Saturday.

Only the coolest people are going to be there.

You and Sam are coming, right, Clover?

-We are?

-You two qualify.

I think it's cool that you two can walk around with last

year's hairstyles and still act secure.

-Oh!

-What about me?

-Hah!

As if.

You are definitely not cool enough.

-Not cool enough?

-Ahhhh!

-Hah!

-Later, girls.

See you on Saturday.

-Ahhh!

-I think what we all need right now is a nice sauna.

-What does Mandy know about being coo?

Did you see those hip huggers she was wearing yesterday?

Hel-lo!

1970s calling!

-I'm not cool enough?

Cha, right.

Bet if I got a tattoo, I'd so be invited to that party.

I'll show her.

What do you guys think?

Maybe it wouldn't be so getting a tattoo.

-Alex, gross.

Tattoos are, like, permanent.

-OK, this is a little more sauna than I had in mind.

[yelling]

-Hello, girls.

Sorry to have dragged you away from your conversation just

when things are getting a bit steamy.

-Hello, not funny much.

Can you have waited?

We're all stinky.

-I'm afraid we've got a situation.

The leading nations of the world are getting ready to

begin talks on world unity.

The talks are scheduled to begin following a unity

concert held in Russia.

Unfortunately, one of the singers of the headlining act

has disappeared.

This act is a favorite of the Russian president's daughter.

If they don't appear, the talks could be in jeopardy.

-Who's the headlining act?

-The platinum selling boy band Teensicle.

-Teensicle!

Oh my gosh, I love them!

-They're our favorite band this week!

-Ahhh!

[chattering]

-Hey, which member disappeared?

-I believe his name is Mikey?

-Ahhhh!

-Mikey?

He's the cute, sensitive one!

-What's the big deal?

They're just wannabes.

-Since when aren't you a fan, Alex?

-Since always.

I prefer the old school boy bands who were popular last

year when being a boy band meant something.

Bands like Boy Candy.

I like to keep a few pictures handy.

This is T-bone, the lead singer.

He is way hot.

Ah--

-Whatever!

-So when do we get to meet them?

They so have to know I'm their number one fan.

-Clover, try and focus on the mission.

-Ahhhh!

[chattering]

-Hmm, yes.

Well--

[girls screaming]

-Maybe we should get another W.H.O.O.P team to--

-What?

No way!

-We'll be good!

-Promise!

-Very well.

We would like you girls to go undercover as presidents of

the Teensicle fan club.

This will give you access to interview the

remaining two members.

Keep an eye on them in case the kidnapper returns.

World unity hangs in the balance on this one, girls.

-Now, let's take a look at your gadgets.

Scanner watches.

Laser lipstick.

Expendable cable bungee belts.

And a new device the boys are calling flavaphones,

functioning stereo headphones that release a protective,

crash-proof afro when activated.

-Girls, it's time to rock and roll!

-Whoa!

[fans cheering]

[gasps]

-So you girls are presidents of our fan club?

-That's right.

Um, we heard about Mikey's abduction and thought you

might need some help with the tour.

-I'll start.

Who needs a hug?

-Uh, Sam?

The mission?

Concentrate.

-Mikey's disappearance has got us pretty freaked out.

I mean, a year ago we were orphans, living on the street,

begging for food.

-Oh, you guys were orphans?

-Oh--

-Huh.

-No, not really.

That's just something the promo department came up with.

Gives us street cred.

-Our parents are super cool.

We're just doing the boy band thing to jump start our acting

careers.

-Well, don't worry.

We're here to make sure everything goes smoothly.

You guys have nothing to fear with us around.

[screaming]

-That felt like a herd of buffalo.

-Yeah, a herd of buffalo wearing pumps.

-Ohhh.

-Need a hand?

-Thanks.

Huh?

Mikey?

You're all right!

-Sure.

Why wouldn't I be?

-Because you were kidnapped, weren't you?

-What?

That's crazy talk.

I just took off to the desert.

-Huh?

-Been lying in mud, watching the cactus flowers bloom for

the last few days.

-Dude!

You're back!

We thought something happened to you.

-I'm fine.

Let's sign some autographs.

[laughing]

-Uh, so what now?

Is the mission over?

-Ah!

This is totally bogus!

I need at least another hour to make one of them fall in

love with me.

-Wait a sec.

Since when does Mikey have a double chin?

And I distinctly remember reading that each member of

Teensicle has a 30-inch waist.

Something's not right.

Oh, well.

For now, I guess it looks like the mission's over.

Time to head home.

[school bell ringing]

-Give it up, girlfriend.

Our shot at rock and roll lifestyle is not to be.

-There's just something we missed.

I'm sure of it.

[mandy laughing]

-Eww!

Will you look at that?

-You are definitely coming to my party on Saturday.

I might even let you pull off my bandage.

-Uh, great.

-David totally thinks she's cool.

That's it!

I'm getting a tattoo.

Something that will really impress people, like a flower

or a pair of espadrilles.

-A flower?

I think I found something.

Remember what Mikey said about watching the cactus flowers

bloom in the desert?

Well, cactus flowers don't bloom for another three

months.

-Why would one of my possible boyfriends to be lie?

-Teensicle's playing a concert tonight in London before they

leave for Russia.

Maybe we should make an appearance.

[tower bell ringing]

[music and cheering]

-What song is this?

-Sounds like Love Omelette, their encore number.

-Thank you, London!

Good night!

[music playing]

-What do we do?

-Uhhh!

Ahh!

-It's spy time!

DJ (OFFSCREEN): Help!

Police!

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): There, I see him!

-I bruise easily!

I'm like a fragile peach when I'm mishandled!

-There's too many of them!

We'll never get out of the way in time!

-Quick, the flavaphones!

-That's what I call wiggin' out!

-Let's take this loser down!

-One, two, three!

[laughing]

[screaming muffled]

-We're too late!

-Curtain call, ladies.

-Huh?

-DJ?

-What happened?

Where's the guy who was trying to kidnap you?

-Guy?

What guy?

There's no one in the elevator but me.

-OK, we definitely saw somebody grab you, and you

were screaming about being a fragile peach.

-I think someone's playing a little trick on you girls.

I'm fine.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a

plane to catch to Russia.

-Hello!

Am I here?

Did that just happen?

-Guys, look at this.

-Eww!

See 'em.

Don't touch.

-I'm just going to take a sample to scan.

-Collagen?

Isn't that the stuff rich old ladies put in their lips?

-So whoever left this pile must have had

really big lips, then.

-Not quite.

Check this out.

It's wire.

Something written on the side.

"Starlight

Studios." -Hey!

These are posters for Boy Candy.

You know, they might make a cool tattoo.

I could get all three members of Boy Candy spread across

my--

-We'll talk tattoos later.

We don't have much time before the unity concert.

[muffled yells]

-Who are they?

-Oh, my gosh, their clothes!

Those are the same outfits Mikey and DJ were wearing at

the concert!

-Whoa, that's not Mikey and DJ.

-It is us!

I'm Mikey!

-And I'm DJ!

-No way!

You're both like way old.

You're totally in your 30s.

-Somebody stole our faces.

-Oh, gross.

-How can we prove to you we're telling the truth?

-Hmm.

Ah.

What's your favorite food?

-Mac and cheese.

-With chata dogs.

-Ideal girlfriend?

-Smart.

-Modest.

-Makes us laugh.

-Loves animals.

-But prefers dogs.

-'Cause we're allergic to cats.

-It's them!

-Um, let me ask you, is the cat thing a real sticking

point? 'Cause, see, I have this little kitten, but it's

really cute.

-Clover!

What happened, you guys?

-Somebody grabbed us, knocked us out.

I remember a machine.

A freaky machine.

-We got company.

Are those guys wearing Mikey and DJ's faces?

-They've got O-dog!

-Red dreadlocks look familiar.

No way!

That's T-bone from Boy Candy!

I have to get an autograph!

-Alex!

If that's Boy Candy, then it's a pretty save bet they're the

one stealing Teensicle's faces.

-Nuh uh!

Not Boy Candy!

Maybe they just found the faces and came

to return them -Hey!

[gasps]

-Or maybe not.

-Time to motor!

[laughing]

-Do you know what the longevity of a boy band is?

A month, if you're lucky.

After that, they show you the door.

-Wow, interesting fun fact.

Does it have a point?

-A very fine point.

I'd like to meet the Facelifter 5000.

-Eww!

I hate needles.

-Hate needles?

Hello!

How do you think tattoos are applied?

-I thought they ironed on.

-Pipe down!

With this device, Boy Candy's going to get a

second shot at stardom.

Allow me to demonstrate.

-No, please!

My manager spent a fortune getting my face

to look like this!

-Ah!

[laughing]

-You will never get away with it.

Fans will take one look at your flabby bodies and know

you're a fraud.

-Nuh uh.

It's called a body truss.

Boy Candy is back!

And once we perform at the unity concert, nothing will be

able to stop us.

-T-bone, I want a young face, too.

-You might try some moisturizer.

And not to be mean, but you could probably wax that

moustache while you're at it.

-I think I have a better idea.

-Oh!

-See you in rock and roll heaven.

[laughing]

-I can't believe T-bone would do this to me.

Look at my face!

My skin looks like beef jerky.

-It'll be OK.

We'll get you a good astringent.

-You guys!

See if you can reach your laser lipsticks.

They might be powerful enough to cut these restraints.

-We're gonna have to jump.

Alex, don't forget the Facelifter thingie.

-Jump!

[phone ringing]

-Sam, how is the mission going?

The fate of world unity depends on Teensicle being

able to perform at the concert.

-Well, we got a little problem with that.

The Teensicle on its way to Russia are impostors.

We need to get to the concert fast.

-Oh, dear.

Well, in that case, look up.

-Thanks, Jer!

[music and cheering]

-[russing accent]

Papa, are they not the coolest?

I vant my own Teensicle.

Buy me my own Teensicle!

-Right after the show, babushka.

-Huh?

What's going on?

-Yeah, they're acting weird.

-Yo, get it together, you idiots!

-That's not Teensicle!

-Boo!

[crowd shouting]

-Papa, somebody's trying to trick us.

Why?

-I do not know.

But if they think they can make a fool out of Russia,

they are mistaken.

I will stop this unity concert, and the unity talks!

-What are we going to do, T-bone?

-Girls, these wannabes seem to be a little out of shape.

I think they could use a workout.

-Let's give them a quick lesson in Power Yoga

Chi-Kwon-Do.

-We all this one squatting bear!

[growling]

-This one's called skipping goat!

[goat bleating]

-This is called long tiger!

[roaring]

-By the way, you are so not my favorite boy band anymore.

-Ah!

-Sam, Clover!

T-bone's getting away!

-You save Alex.

I'll take care of the other two.

-Oh no!

[roaring]

-Just thought I'd drop in, say hi.

I think you have something that belongs to my friend.

[cheering]

-Yea, Teensicle!

-We only did it to be popular again, to be cool.

No one cares when you're yesterday's boy band.

-Just wanted to be cool--

[phone ringing]

-Excellent work, girls.

I've just been informed that the Russian president has

given his blessings for the world unity talks to continue.

-Hey, Jer?

Now that we've saved the world again, do you think maybe we

could hang around and get to know Teensicle?

-Mmm, no.

But I'll work on an autographed poster.

-David!

-Hello!

Tacky much?

-Guys, I feel weird about being here.

-Don't worry, you're with us.

By the way, you're not still thinking about getting a

tattoo, are you?

-No.

I'm comfortable with the way I am.

Who cares if I'm not cool?

-Um, excuse me.

What are you doing here?

This is a private party.

-Hey, let go!

-Oh!

Ahhh!

Help!

[laughter]

-Mmmmm!

-Oh, my gosh!

Look at her tattoo!

-Her tattoo's fake.

What a poser.

-Yeah, let's get outta here.

-Wait!

Don't go!

I'm just as surprised as you guys!

The directions on the box said it was permanent ink!

-Can you believe Mandy?

What a fake.

-Yeah.

Totally.

Too bad, huh?

I know how you like tattoos.

-Me?

Nah, I'm not really into body art just to impress people.

That's what I like about you.

You're totally yourself.

-Want to get a latte chino, soy, no dairy?

I'm kind of doing the vegan thing.

-Uh--

yeah, that would be awesome!

-Cool.

Clover, Sam, you guys want to come, too?

After all, we're all just friends, right?

-Uh, yeah, sure.

We're all just friends.

For now.