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(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
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SUBTITLES BY LUIS-SUBS
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(YELLOW OSTRICH'S MARATHON MAN PLAYING)
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(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
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♪ When I was a boy of 17 ♪
6
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,379
♪ I know it's mean ♪
7
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:51,467
♪ But I told my
friend to give up ♪
8
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♪ On her dreams ♪
9
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♪ She hated me ♪
10
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♪ But I knew that
dreams were ♪
11
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♪ For the best of us ♪
12
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♪ And for the rest of us ♪
13
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♪ And I didn't want to share ♪
14
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♪ With anyone ♪
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♪ I need a way to see ♪
16
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♪ My greatest dance ♪
17
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,590
♪ And make 'em laugh ♪
18
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♪ If I could win the wars ♪
19
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,263
♪ Or lose the battles too ♪
20
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,140
♪ Whichever's true ♪
21
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♪ I can live ♪
22
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,770
♪ In other people's lives ♪
23
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♪ I can't stop putting on ♪
24
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♪ Other people's clothes ♪
25
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:53,472
♪ I love them till I leave ♪
26
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♪ I am a marathon runner ♪
27
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,287
♪ And my legs are sore ♪
28
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,122
♪ And I'm anxious to see ♪
29
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,333
♪ What I'm running for ♪
30
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,460
♪ I am a hot air balloon ♪
31
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,545
♪ On a sailboat ♪
32
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♪ I would make this my home ♪
33
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♪ If I'd learn to float ♪
34
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♪ I am a marathon runner ♪
35
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♪ And my legs are sore ♪
36
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,839
♪ And I'm anxious to see ♪
37
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,300
♪ What I'm running for ♪
38
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,260
♪ I am a hot air balloon ♪
39
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,012
♪ On a sailboat ♪
40
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,348
♪ I would make this my home ♪
41
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,266
♪ If I'd learn to float ♪
42
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,435
♪ I am a marathon runner ♪
43
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,604
♪ And my legs are sore ♪
44
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,481
♪ And I'm anxious to see ♪
45
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:12,692
♪ What I'm running for ♪
46
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,527
♪ I am a hot air balloon ♪
47
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,570
♪ On a sailboat ♪
48
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,906
♪ I would make this my home ♪
49
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:22,159
♪ If I'd learn to float ♪
50
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,369
Shit.
51
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,235
Dude, you are never
gonna believe this.
52
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,625
A shrimp's heart is in its head.
53
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,044
This is fucking tripping me out.
54
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,463
Really, Cheech? 10:00 a.m.?
55
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,506
Yeah. Oh, sorry.
56
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,882
You getting a contact high?
57
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:41,721
You gonna be all seizuring out
on me? I don't get seizures.
58
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,390
Mm-hmm. What do you
call them again?
59
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,351
They're marijuana-induced fits.
It's a medical condition.
60
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,394
(LAUGHS)
61
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,562
What are you doing tonight?
62
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,313
I don't know. I got to go.
Call me later.
63
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,848
Okay.
64
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,264
(MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC)
65
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,125
Hello?
66
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,586
So, uh, what are
you doing tonight?
67
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,171
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know.
68
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,589
That's why I said,
"Call me later."
69
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,033
I know. I am.
70
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,762
So Ash and I are going to this
Alvin Ailey modern-dance thing.
71
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,346
Looks kind of cool.
You want to join?
72
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,710
Modern dance?
73
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,518
Not exactly what I had in mind
for tonight... or ever, really.
74
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,561
All right.
75
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,772
Let's definitely grab
a beer before I go.
76
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,064
Yeah, I don't know, man.
77
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,442
I think I'm just gonna
heat up some Chinese food.
78
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,027
You mean play video games.
All right.
79
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,945
Why change your routine
at this point, huh?
80
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,447
I got to go. Bye.
81
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,449
(TWINKLING GUITAR MUSIC)
82
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,939
There you go. Thank you.
83
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,621
Hey. What can I get for you?
84
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,582
I'll just take a
medium coffee to go.
85
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,071
Thanks.
86
00:04:55,670 --> 00:05:00,132
Such a... Such a beautiful day
out, and it, uh, doesn't...
87
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,372
doesn't feel like
November at all.
88
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:08,015
Feels like... like maybe
early s... early summer.
89
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,141
June.
(CLEARS THROAT)
90
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,269
Here you go. Thank you.
91
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,514
Thanks. Done and done.
92
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,633
(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
93
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,904
La-te- "L" - apostrophe-ticia?
94
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,973
L'ticia?
95
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,325
Okay.
96
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,036
Thanks so much. Thank you.
97
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,079
Mr. Newman, hello. Hello.
98
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,121
It's quite an honor.
99
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,373
My name is David Abbott.
100
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,834
I have read all three of your
books. Oh, thank you, David.
101
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,669
You can just call me Sam.
(CHUCKLES)
102
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,003
Sam.
103
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,630
Can you make it out
to "Sticky Fingers"?
104
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,382
That is my avatar name.
105
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:42,716
Sticky Fingers?
106
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:43,759
Yes, sir.
107
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,802
Okay.
108
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,679
Question for you.
109
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,250
What inspired your decision to
kill off Tabitha at the end?
110
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,685
Well...
111
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,478
Was it because she had
broken the sacred oath
112
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,479
of the Baldroozen nymphs?
113
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,065
I mean, I guess she
had it coming.
114
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,526
Uh, actually, Sticky,
115
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,529
I was-I was sort of inspired
by the movie studio
116
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:06,065
that commissioned me
to write it, honestly.
117
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:12,413
You see, the movie was already
made, so they just paid me to
118
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:16,917
write exactly what
happened in the m-movie.
119
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,406
You know, that...
that's what I do.
120
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,155
Sorry.
121
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:33,392
Surprise! Oh. My God!
122
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,394
Sarah! Hi.
123
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,063
Jesus. Sarah Anderson.
124
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,231
Holy shit.
125
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,401
Oh, no, actually, it's
Sarah Schipper now.
126
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,777
Wow.
127
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,820
Crazy.
128
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,906
What are you...
Congratulations.
129
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,908
Thank you. That's ba...
that's a rock.
130
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,035
Well... I don't...
131
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,494
What are you... what
are you doing here?
132
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:53,746
Well, my husband works
around the corner.
133
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,247
I was walking by, and
I saw your name,
134
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,750
and I thought, "I
should just pop in."
135
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,251
Yeah. Well, I'm glad...
136
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,962
I'm sorry. I'm glad you did.
137
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,505
Hi. Oh.
138
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,507
Wait. What?
139
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,927
Yep, that happened.
You got a...
140
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,929
A baby. You got a baby.
141
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,430
Yeah.
142
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,098
Wow. Wow.
143
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,851
What about you? You got
a wife or kids, family?
144
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:16,936
Nope. No?
145
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,939
None... none of the above.
Not even a girlfriend?
146
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,734
Eh. Aw.
147
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,694
Congratulations on the
whole writing thing.
148
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:26,820
It's great.
149
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:27,988
Yeah. Yeah.
150
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,156
Not... not bad.
151
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,199
Not bad.
152
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,325
So where does your husband work?
153
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,452
You said he works around the...
Oh, he's at the Puma store.
154
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,206
Oh, no, he's a... he's a
columnist at the Times.
155
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,207
The New York Times?
156
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,500
Yeah.
157
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,709
Whoa.
158
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,369
Yeah. Cool.
159
00:07:43,404 --> 00:07:45,005
Well, I'd love to get
a copy of the book.
160
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,924
Oh. Really?
161
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,133
Yeah. Sure.
162
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,843
Okay. Uh...
163
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,637
Want to sign it for me?
Oh, sure.
164
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,806
It just seems so weird.
165
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,974
Let's see.
166
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,668
Uh, okay.
167
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,923
(CHUCKLES)
168
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,847
All right. Yeah.
169
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,651
How are your parents?
170
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,945
Oh, uh, yeah-huh.
171
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:10,030
Yeah, they got a...
they got a divorce.
172
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,532
What?
173
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,825
After I left for college, yeah.
174
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:13,909
My mom, uh...
175
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,570
They always seemed like they had
the most perfect relationship.
176
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,690
Well...
177
00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:23,127
Hey, guess where Joel and I
are spending the summer.
178
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,045
Y-y-Yosemite.
179
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,380
Espoo.
180
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,664
Where?
181
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,342
Espoo.
182
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,011
Where my whole family's from.
183
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,303
Are you kidding?
184
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,431
Oh, yeah.
185
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,473
Yeah.
186
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,268
No, I remember.
In, uh, N-Norway.
187
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,712
Finland. Finland.
188
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,146
Near Norway.
189
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:45,149
We talked about getting
married there, but, well...
190
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,890
It's nice to see that you
haven't changed at all, Sam.
191
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,158
Take care, Sam.
192
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,784
You too.
193
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:56,994
Dude, she's pregnant!
194
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:57,995
That sucks.
195
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,705
Yeah, I'm sitting there
signing autographs
196
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,249
like a jackass,
this stupid book.
197
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,500
It was so humiliating.
198
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,169
Sorry, Mr. Newman. Yeah.
199
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,628
My manager told me I have
to take the order now.
200
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,089
You want to have the special?
201
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,340
Uh, no, just the usual.
202
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,341
Thanks, Howard.
203
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,342
Um...
204
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:16,305
So she looks at me like I was
the saddest, most pathet...
205
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,057
Sorry I don't work for
The New York Times.
206
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,558
The New York Times is not
really what it used to be.
207
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,601
I got to go.
208
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,144
Oh, Wait. Uh...
209
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,896
I have a lot of customer
to take care of.
210
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,136
Well, I'll talk to you s...
Bye.
211
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,058
Okay.
212
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,436
Oh, my God, I got to
write something good.
213
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,478
(MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC)
214
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,666
There you go. What's that for?
215
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,796
Oh. I thought... Aren't you...
Homeless?
216
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,089
Sorry. I just thought
that was a...
217
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,090
That's a chai.
218
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,091
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
219
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:56,095
I'm so sorry. Uh...
Hey, what's up?
220
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,880
Yeah. No, I saw the Instagram.
221
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,301
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
222
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,820
Hey, Alan.
223
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,863
Hey. How'd the
signing go, guy?
224
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,490
Um, fine.
225
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,617
Yeah, all right. Total
domination, right?
226
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:22,162
Teen Vampire continues
to command the shelves.
227
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,456
Well, quantity over quality.
228
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,791
That's what I say.
229
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,042
All right, listen, the
studio would like you
230
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,877
to translate a couple more
of their films into books.
231
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,295
Yeah, I don't know, man.
I-I...
232
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,131
The first one here actually
smells pretty good.
233
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,967
Let me set the table for you.
It's an action-adventure flick,
234
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,219
and it's called
"doomtombalienwomb"...
235
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,887
it's one word...
"dot-net," I think.
236
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:39,972
Check it out.
237
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,224
It's sizzling, and they got apps, and
they got the whole thing happening.
238
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,308
Okay, yeah.
239
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,310
Um... All right, let me move on.
240
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,396
I got a romantic comedy for you
too, and this one's called Sherpa.
241
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,523
Sherpa? I think you
could kill this shit.
242
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,400
Like the... like the Nepal...
243
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,484
Yeah, a woman who
climbs Everest.
244
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,485
Okay.
245
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,697
But in the process, she finds the
biggest discovery of her life
246
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,740
love with her Sherpa guide.
247
00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,783
She falls in love with him.
248
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:00,826
They're from different
backgrounds.
249
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,120
They speak the language of
kindness or something like that.
250
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,830
Listen, Alan, I don't know.
251
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,166
Lookit, I'm not saying that this
stuff is actually hard-on-inducing,
252
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,917
but you pop off a couple
more of these bad boys...
253
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,836
Alan, I think I'm gonna start
writing something else.
254
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,504
Something original. Okay.
255
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,840
Something personal.
256
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,550
Yeah. Listen, I
totally get it.
257
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,678
So I'm gonna take a little time off and
start working on this thing, okay?
258
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,471
All right. Here...
here's the thing.
259
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:24,349
You're burned out. You want
to move the blocks around.
260
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,476
You want to reset the table.
I got to move them. Yes.
261
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,352
You need to take a break.
262
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,563
You need to do something a little bit
different, and I totally get that,
263
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:32,191
and I want... that's what I want you to
do, 'cause I want you to stoke the fire.
264
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,777
'Cause if you take the coal too far away
from the fire, then the coal burns out.
265
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,113
If you put the coal back in the
fire, then the coal's gonna burn.
266
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,406
And I don't want
you to ever think
267
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,742
that anybody has ever
called you a hack writer.
268
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,869
Hack writer? What?
269
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,037
Okay, when you start
writing the pages,
270
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,079
you send 'em over to me.
271
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,581
Wait, Alan. Hack writer.
272
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:48,624
What are you talking about?
273
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:49,958
I'm just telling you
they haven't said it.
274
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:50,959
What? I'm gonna go.
275
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,544
Let me know when
you're doing stuff.
276
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,409
Yeah. Okay. Bye.
277
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,789
(MID-TEMPO GUITAR MUSIC)
278
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,557
Ooh, sorry.
279
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,725
Sorry. Sorry.
280
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,260
Ah!
281
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,235
Thanks. I'm really sorry.
282
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,152
Just got in?
283
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,946
I'm sorry. What? Sorry?
284
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,782
Oh, I'm just saying I think
I saw you come in to work.
285
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,075
Oh, yeah.
286
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,493
I am late as usual.
287
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,786
Yeah, always late.
288
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:26,745
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
289
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,788
(SIGHS)
290
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:28,914
Can I get a refill for you?
291
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,165
Oh, yeah.
292
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,449
Uh, thanks.
293
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,003
Oh, shit!
294
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,672
What? Are you okay?
295
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:37,589
No. Fuck.
296
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,591
Um, I think someone
just stole my computer.
297
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,592
Oh, God.
298
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,094
Yeah, I had it here,
and I put it in a bag.
299
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,930
It was in a blue computer bag. I
was gonna go to the bathroom.
300
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,640
Do you have another one?
Do you s... hmm?
301
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,334
Besides that one?
302
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,604
No. That's it.
303
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,647
Just that one, actually.
304
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,648
(CHUCKLES)
305
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:55,691
Thanks.
306
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,902
No, it would have been devastating
if you'd lost your masterpiece.
307
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,028
Yeah. No reason to go on.
308
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,029
I know.
309
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,783
Fortunately, it's just two pages
of bad haikus and dirty limericks.
310
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,451
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
311
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,078
But you're a doodlist
as well, I see.
312
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,079
Oh, yes.
313
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,289
I just scribble.
314
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,790
I dabble in the doodles myself.
315
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,791
Yeah? Really?
316
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,876
Yeah, I do caricatures
in Prospect Park.
317
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:15,877
Oh, cool.
318
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,296
Very cool.
319
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,630
I'm sorry. Is this Gorbachev?
320
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,215
No, no, that's
just a creepy guy.
321
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,842
Oh. That's too bad.
322
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,302
I'm a huge Gorbachev fan.
323
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,168
Oh. Well, this is...
324
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,141
Now it's Gorbachev.
325
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,642
You can Gorbachev anything.
That's really good.
326
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,519
Thanks.
327
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,520
It's Birdie.
328
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,897
It's very birdy.
329
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,762
Oh, my name is Birdie.
330
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,052
Oh, okay. Sorry.
331
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:42,804
Um...
332
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,157
I'm Sam.
333
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,116
Uh, that's my name.
334
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,075
(CLEARS THROAT)
335
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,327
It's like Pam with an S.
336
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,079
Oh. So... So Spam.
337
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,956
No, the P is silent.
It's confusing.
338
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,333
(LAUGHS)
339
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,959
(SIGHS)
340
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,669
I would love to continue
this conversation, but...
341
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,879
Yeah, of course. Sorry. Yeah.
342
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,464
Sorry.
343
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,342
Large coffee, almond milk, three
Sweet'N Lows, two napkins.
344
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,426
The name's Emily.
345
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,469
Nice to meet you.
346
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,387
Emily, like "Jemily,"
347
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,847
but the J is silent.
348
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,848
(CHUCKLES)
349
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,392
Actually, "Gemily" is
spelled with a G, usually.
350
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,435
Is it?
351
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,270
Do you know any Gemilys?
352
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,463
Sorry.
353
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,595
(JANGLY ROCK MUSIC)
354
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,784
Hey, El, where's the toothpaste?
355
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,491
El.
356
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,965
Hey, what'd you... Oh, shit!
357
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,467
Shit. What the fuck?
358
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:46,551
Sorry.
359
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,637
You can't do that with
the door wide open.
360
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,305
Well, I thought you
were in the shower.
361
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,057
I always wait till
you're in the shower.
362
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,308
You do? Oh, God.
363
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,395
Now every time I take a shower,
I'm gonna think about that.
364
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,521
Can I turn around?
365
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,714
Yeah.
366
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,818
Is that Princess Leia?
367
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,319
N... yeah.
368
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,363
Are you seriously jerking off
369
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,324
to current pictures
of Carrie Fisher?
370
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,700
Remember when we
were kids, dude?
371
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,994
Correct me if I'm wrong, but you
were pretty obsessed with her too.
372
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,039
Yeah, I was obsessed with her
when she was in Star Wars.
373
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,374
What am I, 12?
374
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,794
You really expect me to pleasure
myself to fucking Star Wars?
375
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,587
What are you talking about?
376
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:27,551
You can get older, and she can
stay the same age in picture form.
377
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:30,178
Women, like men, grow up.
378
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,179
Everybody ages.
379
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,722
It's just... it's a
natural fact of life.
380
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:33,723
You're not dating her.
381
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,600
You're just jerking off to her.
382
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,964
Right.
383
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,188
I... Okay, yeah.
384
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,023
Just close your door next time.
385
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,608
Can you close it?
386
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,901
(GROANS)
387
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,611
Are you going back into
the shower by any chance?
388
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,988
Please don't.
389
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,239
Just please don't.
390
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,435
(PIZZICATO STRINGS MUSIC)
391
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,658
Excuse me.
392
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,700
Sorry.
393
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,638
Do you by any chance
know what time Birdie...
394
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,725
or it might be Bertie...
is working?
395
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:20,353
It's Birdie, like "caw, caw!"
396
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,480
You're a friend of hers?
397
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,470
Uh, yeah, sort of.
398
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,819
She got canned.
399
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,987
What? Why?
400
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,363
What... what happened?
401
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,698
She was late.
402
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,187
For work?
403
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,744
No.
404
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,913
For her fucking period.
405
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,290
What... I'm sorry.
406
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,833
I don't know what's g...
407
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,669
I f-feel like maybe we got
off on the wrong foot.
408
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,087
I'm Sam, by the way.
409
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,280
Okay.
410
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:51,134
And your name is... It's Gerard.
411
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,136
Gerard.
412
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,500
Strard.
413
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,723
Stre... Gerard.
414
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:57,891
Strard. Stard.
415
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,518
Strard. Chard.
416
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,394
Leave it.
417
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:03,355
Anyway.
418
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,523
What happened with Birdie?
419
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,149
I already told
you; she was late.
420
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,777
Oh... right.
421
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:09,778
But j-just...
422
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,530
Anything else, Inspector Watson?
423
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,614
No, that's... that's great.
424
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,308
Thanks for...
425
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:21,248
Do you think maybe
she'll come back here?
426
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,499
For what?
427
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,542
I don't know.
428
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,668
Me, neither.
429
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,908
Why don't you just
find her online?
430
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:30,048
I don't know her...
Birdie Hazel.
431
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,509
Hazel.
432
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,702
Okay.
433
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:38,089
Thank... Thanks, G-sir.
434
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,563
Okay. I think I
got everything.
435
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,064
Where you guys going?
436
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,065
I told you a trillion times.
437
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,233
We're going to Ashley's
parents' place,
438
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,401
then we're going
to Sacred Spirit.
439
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,902
Oh, right. Camp Brainwash.
440
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,071
Eliot, don't forget
your camera.
441
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,406
I think it's on the desk.
442
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,865
Oh, yes. Bye!
443
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,434
Bye!
444
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,039
Hey, El, I found
Birdie's online profile.
445
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,457
You did? Who?
446
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,946
You know, the coffee shop girl.
447
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,629
Pretty amazing, actually.
448
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,840
Oh, yeah? Nice, man. Yeah.
You got to see this.
449
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:12,716
I don't know what to do.
450
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:13,758
What's the next move?
451
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,260
Write her a message saying
you want to see her.
452
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,928
Really?
453
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,346
Should I? That seems weird.
454
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,931
Just, like, a blind message?
455
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,100
I don't... I don't know
anything about her.
456
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,476
Yeah. Sure, you do.
457
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,687
That's the beauty of getting
to see her Facebook profile.
458
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,272
There's so much information
on there, you know?
459
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,815
I mean, hell, you could
become the man of her dreams
460
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:29,858
if you wanted.
461
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,276
That's true.
462
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,277
You know?
463
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,612
Baby? Yeah.
464
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,363
Come on. I'm double-parked.
465
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,807
What are you doing? Oh, shit.
466
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,325
See you next week, playa.
467
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,985
See you.
468
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,250
(BUZZER DRONES)
469
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:51,588
♪ G, D, B minor, A ♪
470
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,828
♪ G, G ♪
471
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,509
Play a G.
472
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,303
Oh. Uh, okay. Play a G.
473
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,304
I'm not sure I got that one.
474
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,474
Index finger goes on the...
is that a fret?
475
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,683
It's called a fret.
476
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:06,561
Sorry. I don't know...
You got to bar it.
477
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,979
Ow. Ow.
478
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,606
Okay. That's it?
479
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,607
(DISSONANT CHORD PLAYS)
480
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,525
It sounded different than yours.
481
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:17,656
If you stop with the 'tude
and the condescending shit,
482
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:21,159
I can... Music is about opening.
483
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:26,956
Your generation is so...
sexy, and they know it,
484
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,525
and they're texting.
485
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,004
Just 'cause you got my
number off a telephone pole
486
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,382
doesn't mean I'm not
ferocious on the ax.
487
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,926
I played fucking Woodstock, man.
488
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,540
Woodstock? Really?
489
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,180
That's kind of...
490
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,723
'Cause you don't
really seem that...
491
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,059
Woodstock '99, captain!
492
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,686
So you want to fuck with that?
493
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,480
I played backup with the fucking
Spin Doctors, bro-rometer.
494
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,481
Wow.
495
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,649
Yeah, wow.
496
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:53,733
That's pretty cool.
497
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,527
It's really cool.
498
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,736
Look it up.
499
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,154
I will. I'll Google it.
500
00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,823
Yeah, do that. Okay.
501
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,783
I didn't technically
play backup,
502
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,828
but I was backing them up
from a choice seat backstage.
503
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,372
I'm pretty tight with
Chris Barron's brother.
504
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,541
Is he... is he in
the Spin Doctors?
505
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,167
Are you effin' fucking with me?
506
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:14,629
I-I don't... Is this Punk'd?
Am I punk'd?
507
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,089
Are you Ashley Kutcher?
508
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,090
Ashton.
509
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,216
Who doesn't know Chris Barron?
510
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,175
I don't. I'm sorry.
511
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,635
He's the original doc.
512
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,096
He hooked me up with
backstage passes,
513
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,390
and we did enough K
to date-rape a horse.
514
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,266
What's K?
515
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,227
And you want to be a rock star.
516
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,063
Without K, the Spin Doctors
would be Spin Nurses.
517
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,899
It's a fucking horse
tranquilizer, champion.
518
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,985
Gary, I totally respect
your musical background,
519
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,653
and that's why I
just really want you
520
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,363
to teach me how to play.
521
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,406
Yeah? Why?
522
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:44,284
I just want to... Why?
523
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,477
I just want to learn.
524
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:47,620
Nobody just wants to learn.
525
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,456
You either want money,
pussy, or fame.
526
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:50,957
Which one is it?
527
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,000
I just want to learn.
528
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,084
Money, pussy, or fame?
529
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,545
I want to... Which one is it?
530
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:56,755
Well, then, okay.
531
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,756
Well, there's... there's a girl.
532
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,340
So it's pussy.
533
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,176
Yeah, fine, I guess.
534
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,719
Well, does she have a pussy?
535
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,971
Can you just tell me
where the G is please?
536
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:08,266
It's right above the
clit, inside the pussy.
537
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,934
The G chord.
538
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,603
Can you... what are you doing?
539
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,273
If you just listen... Shh!
540
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,192
And stop fucking around,
541
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,637
Dr. Gary Garren will teach
you a thing or three.
542
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:21,738
You know what I mean?
543
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,022
I think so.
544
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,202
(LIGHT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS)
545
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,662
♪ Yeah, one, two ♪
546
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,165
♪ Princes kneel before you ♪
547
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:33,625
♪ That's what I said now ♪
548
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:34,626
♪ Princes ♪
549
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,961
♪ Princes who adore you ♪
550
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,338
♪ Go ahead now ♪
551
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:39,339
♪ One has ♪
552
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:41,800
♪ Diamonds in his pockets ♪
553
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,968
♪ And that's some bread now ♪
554
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:44,969
♪ This one ♪
555
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,388
♪ He wants to buy
you lockets ♪
556
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,098
♪ Ain't in his head now ♪
557
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:52,644
♪ Hey ♪
558
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,837
♪ Bi-di-dip ♪
559
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,315
(SPIN DOCTORS' TWO PRINCES PLAYING)
560
00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:00,511
(CHEERY ROCK MUSIC)
561
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:15,750
♪ Yeah, one, two ♪
562
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,877
♪ Princes kneel before you ♪
563
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:19,337
♪ That's what I said now ♪
564
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,338
♪ Princes ♪
565
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,507
♪ Princes who adore you ♪
566
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,050
♪ Just go ahead now ♪
567
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:25,051
♪ One has ♪
568
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,262
♪ Diamonds in his pockets ♪
569
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:28,513
♪ And that's some bread now ♪
570
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:29,514
♪ This one ♪
571
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,850
♪ Said he wants to
buy you lockets ♪
572
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,017
♪ Ain't in his head now ♪
573
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:37,355
♪ Yeah ♪
574
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,690
♪ Do do-do do ♪
575
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,899
♪ Do do do do-do ♪
576
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,109
♪ Ba-deedly de-ba
da-ba da-ba ♪
577
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:42,485
♪ Da-ba da-ba da-ba
da-ba da-ba ♪
578
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:43,528
♪ This one ♪
579
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,738
♪ Got a princely racket ♪
580
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,156
♪ That's what I said now ♪
581
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,658
♪ Got some ♪
582
00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,326
Oh, shit!
583
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,578
♪ Ain't in his head now ♪
584
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:52,579
♪ You marry him ♪
585
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,248
♪ Your father will
condone you ♪
586
00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:56,416
♪ How 'bout that, now? ♪
587
00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:57,625
♪ You marry me ♪
588
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,377
♪ Your father
will disown you ♪
589
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,004
♪ He'll eat his hat now ♪
590
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:03,214
♪ Marry him or marry me ♪
591
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,215
♪ I'm the one that loves you ♪
592
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,174
♪ Baby, can't you see? ♪
593
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,552
♪ I ain't got no future
or family tree ♪
594
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:10,388
♪ But I know what a prince
and lover ought to be ♪
595
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,181
♪ I know what a prince
and lover ought to be ♪
596
00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:13,600
♪ Said if you ♪
597
00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,727
♪ Want to call me, baby ♪
598
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,103
♪ Just go ahead now ♪
599
00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:18,229
♪ And if you'd ♪
600
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,231
♪ Like to tell me maybe ♪
601
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,733
♪ Just go ahead now ♪
602
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:22,817
♪ And if you I
603
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,028
♪ Want to buy me flowers ♪
604
00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,404
♪ Just go ahead now ♪
605
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,488
♪ And if you'd ♪
606
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:29,616
♪ Like to talk for hours ♪
607
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,075
♪ Just go ahead now ♪
608
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:34,078
(GUITAR SOLO)
609
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,873
Tap out. Tap out.
610
00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:37,916
I'm trying.
611
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:38,917
Tap out!
612
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:39,918
I'm trying. I can't tap out.
613
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,044
Tap out.
614
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:42,988
(GRUNTS)
615
00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:46,215
Oh, my God.
616
00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:48,785
Holy Jesus.
617
00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:56,225
(BELL JINGLES)
618
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,602
Hey, Gerard. Hey.
619
00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:01,094
I'm here to pick up
my last paycheck.
620
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,024
Somebody stole it.
621
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:05,109
What?
622
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,778
I'm joking. Jesus!
623
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:10,073
Don't get your boy shorts
in a panty bundle.
624
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,484
How could someone possibly
steal it and then cash it?
625
00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:14,535
I-I-I don't know.
626
00:24:14,536 --> 00:24:16,579
Exactly, genius.
627
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:17,956
I stole it and tried to cash it.
628
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:19,491
Didn't work.
629
00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:22,168
Great. Well...
630
00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:27,674
I'm just glad it's still here.
Did he find you?
631
00:24:27,675 --> 00:24:29,425
Who?
632
00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:31,636
That Laotian boy.
633
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,375
Oh, you can run, but
you can't hide.
634
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:37,292
When you're done with
him, give him my digits.
635
00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:40,269
Okay.
636
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:43,856
I don't... I don't know what you're talking
about, so I'm just gonna take this.
637
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:45,316
Thank you.
638
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,318
And... yeah.
639
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,557
Bye.
640
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,509
♪ Ten years ago ♪
641
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:13,803
♪ I bought you
some cufflinks ♪
642
00:25:13,804 --> 00:25:15,847
♪ C ♪
643
00:25:15,848 --> 00:25:19,684
♪ And then to G ♪
644
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:23,855
♪ Head back to D ♪
645
00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:26,232
♪ And back to ♪
646
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:27,358
Hey!
647
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:28,693
Welcome home!
648
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:31,195
What the fuck is going on?
649
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:33,573
Oh, man. You missed... Oh, shit!
650
00:25:33,574 --> 00:25:35,366
I got to flip the mahi.
651
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:36,650
Ah, fuck.
652
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:38,686
Damn it.
653
00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:41,406
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
654
00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:42,999
Ah, I knew it.
655
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,909
Should have done the medallions.
656
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:48,212
Should have done the medallions.
657
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:49,839
What is going on, man?
658
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:54,502
Oh, I... found some inspiration.
659
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:56,012
Cocaine?
660
00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:57,138
(LAUGHS)
661
00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:58,056
No, no, no.
662
00:25:58,057 --> 00:26:01,392
Let's just say a little
bird helped me out.
663
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,561
I'm not... not getting it.
664
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,605
Birdie! Duh.
665
00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:06,773
The coffee shop girl.
666
00:26:06,774 --> 00:26:07,982
Birdie. Right.
667
00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:09,650
Can you turn that down a little?
668
00:26:09,651 --> 00:26:11,069
Way down.
669
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,945
Sorry, man. Sorry.
670
00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:14,605
Listen, I got to
tell you something.
671
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,742
I haven't felt this way
in such a long time.
672
00:26:17,743 --> 00:26:19,285
I feel this, like, uh...
673
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:21,730
like a jolt, you know, like a...
like a thump.
674
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,831
Don't say spark. A spark.
675
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:24,874
It's true.
676
00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:25,958
I can't explain
it any other way.
677
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,073
It's this... this
intangible feeling that...
678
00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:30,463
Feels pretty good.
679
00:26:30,464 --> 00:26:32,157
I love that, man.
That's great.
680
00:26:32,723 --> 00:26:33,883
Oh, shit. Is she coming over?
681
00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:34,759
You want me to go to Ashley's?
682
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,094
Oh, no, she's not coming here.
683
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,095
Oh, she's not? Yeah.
684
00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:38,387
That's great, though.
You guys been hanging?
685
00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:39,555
No.
686
00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:41,307
You been talking on
the phone with her?
687
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:43,101
No. A little online chatting?
688
00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:45,103
Not quite.
689
00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:46,979
See, I'm getting a
little creeped out, man.
690
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:49,107
I'm doing exactly
what you said.
691
00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,775
What I told you to do? Yeah.
692
00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:51,943
I'm becoming the
man of her dreams.
693
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,611
I don't think that that...
694
00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:55,446
I'm preparing for the
moment to arise.
695
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,198
I've been studying her
Facebook page all week.
696
00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:58,449
I know it backwards
and forwards.
697
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,368
I'm visualizing the whole thing.
698
00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:01,994
I got it.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
699
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:02,995
Okay. How 'bout this?
700
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:03,996
Yeah?
701
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:06,707
Visualize writing her a message
702
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:09,460
but then literally
do it right now.
703
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,629
Write her a message r-right now?
704
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:12,839
Yeah.
705
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,328
Okay. You know what?
706
00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:16,968
Screw it. You're right.
707
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:17,969
Let's do this.
708
00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,762
All right.
709
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:21,097
This is the moment.
710
00:27:21,098 --> 00:27:22,807
Carpe diem.
711
00:27:22,808 --> 00:27:25,393
Um... okay, so what...
what do I write?
712
00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:29,021
Uh, uh, uh... Got it. Okay.
713
00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:33,568
"I love and invite my soul"...
What's this? What is this?
714
00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:34,986
This is Leaves of Grass.
Walt Whitman.
715
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,154
Birdie loves Whitman.
716
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:37,655
No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
717
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,240
Really? Why? Why? Why?
718
00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:40,783
Dude, look at this. Look.
719
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:42,827
"Hey, babe, I hope you're still
coming to my show on Tuesday.
720
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,162
"LOL, Jackie." Who's Jackie?
721
00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:45,496
It's Jackie Williams.
722
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,456
She's a... she's an
aspiring actress.
723
00:27:47,457 --> 00:27:49,167
Their parents are
family friends.
724
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:50,918
She loves Kathy Griffin.
She's an Aquarius.
725
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:52,712
She does the show on Tuesday
night at UCB Improv.
726
00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:53,796
(LAUGHING) Oh. My God.
727
00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:55,840
It's really disturbing you
know that, but that's your in.
728
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:56,841
Well, it's all in...
729
00:27:56,842 --> 00:28:00,928
What do you mean, that's my in? I'm
gonna go to some shitty improv show,
730
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,639
sit through the whole thing, just so
I can stare at her in the audience?
731
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,350
You... No, you... so
you can talk to her.
732
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,852
All right, flower, grow!
733
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:09,937
Grow! Grow! Grow! Faster!
734
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:11,689
Why don't you grow
faster, flower?
735
00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,024
Now, run around. Ahh!
736
00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:14,567
Yeah, but you love that flower.
737
00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:16,110
Tell that flower
that you love her.
738
00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:18,362
The chestnut that
turned into a flower,
739
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:21,365
to turn it into growing water,
then turn into something big.
740
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:23,275
It was chestnuts!
741
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:32,576
That was pretty funny.
742
00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:36,580
Hey... Can I get,
uh, one of these?
743
00:28:50,187 --> 00:28:52,021
Oh, my God. Wait, wait.
744
00:28:52,022 --> 00:28:53,231
Oh.
745
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:55,733
Do you ever go to the
Second Stop Café?
746
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:59,403
Well, where is that...
Oh, Gorbachev!
747
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:00,404
Sam.
748
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:01,447
That's it! Yeah. Yeah.
749
00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:03,074
Birdie. Birdie? Bird... yeah.
750
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:04,450
What have you been up to?
What have you been up to?
751
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:05,409
I... Jesus.
752
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:06,410
Oh, no.
753
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:07,370
(LAUGHS)
754
00:29:07,371 --> 00:29:09,664
Um, nothing. Just,
uh, watching...
755
00:29:09,665 --> 00:29:11,415
Really bad improv.
756
00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:12,416
Glad you said that.
757
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,001
It was... yikes.
758
00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:16,045
Though I commend them
for their courage.
759
00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:18,256
I would never have the nerve
to get onstage like that
760
00:29:18,257 --> 00:29:20,633
if I didn't have a
guitar in my hands.
761
00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:21,759
You play guitar?
762
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,386
Yeah, yeah, a little bit.
763
00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:24,845
Just... just to relax and stuff.
764
00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:26,222
Very nice. Mellow stuff, yeah.
765
00:29:26,223 --> 00:29:27,473
Joan Baez kind of stuff.
766
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,683
Oh, you like Joan Baez?
767
00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:29,767
I love Joan Baez!
768
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:30,768
She's the best! Yeah!
769
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:31,769
No, she's my favorite.
770
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:32,895
Oh, my God. Are you kidding?
771
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,063
I grew up with her.
772
00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:35,648
Not literally, but... Right.
773
00:29:35,649 --> 00:29:37,441
She's amazing.
Diamonds and Rust.
774
00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:39,944
Dude, every time I walk
into Washington Square,
775
00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:41,028
I think of that.
776
00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:41,988
Me too.
777
00:29:41,989 --> 00:29:43,114
"Now you're smiling,
looking out the window"
778
00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:45,783
"of that crummy hotel
over Washington Square."
779
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:48,286
"Our breath comes out white clouds,
mingles, hangs in the air."
780
00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:49,287
Oh!
781
00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:50,454
I know. Oh, my God.
It's so good.
782
00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:51,956
Every time I'm in the
park, I think that.
783
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:53,240
Yeah.
784
00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:57,795
Well, um, listen, next time
I'm in the ol' Second Stop,
785
00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,839
you got to give me the
Joan Baez fan discount.
786
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,007
I would love to.
787
00:30:01,008 --> 00:30:03,801
It might be a little hard
now since I was fired.
788
00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:05,803
I know... now.
789
00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:06,929
Now I know.
790
00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:07,972
Uh, that sucks.
791
00:30:07,973 --> 00:30:09,849
I'm glad that I ran
into you here, though.
792
00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:11,267
Yeah, me too.
793
00:30:11,268 --> 00:30:12,476
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!
794
00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:13,644
Oh, hey, girl.
795
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:14,937
Oh, you were so good, so good.
796
00:30:14,938 --> 00:30:16,147
Thanks for coming. Thank you.
797
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,982
Literally, you couldn't
have picked a better night,
798
00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:20,268
except for that skank who
kept cutting me off.
799
00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:24,488
Uh, well, J... Jackie, uh, Sam.
800
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:25,948
Hey. Hey, Sam.
801
00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:28,909
Um, Sam was just saying something
about the show, right?
802
00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:30,202
What is it that you were saying?
803
00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:33,998
Ah, well, we were laughing...
Thank God.
804
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,667
And saying that we will
never forget this night.
805
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,127
That was it. It was
very memorable.
806
00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:39,128
Literally?
807
00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:40,129
Yep. Thanks.
808
00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:42,506
So do you know someone
in the troupe, or...
809
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:45,426
No. I just... I
enjoy the art form.
810
00:30:45,427 --> 00:30:47,178
Art form? Wow.
811
00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:48,471
Thank you, Sam.
812
00:30:48,472 --> 00:30:49,555
Dibs.
813
00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,751
(LAUGHTER)
814
00:30:54,519 --> 00:30:57,396
So do you have to... No. Oh.
815
00:30:57,397 --> 00:30:58,481
(CLEARS THROAT)
816
00:30:58,482 --> 00:31:00,900
(CHUCKLES)
817
00:31:00,901 --> 00:31:02,890
Can I cook you dinner sometime?
818
00:31:04,654 --> 00:31:06,188
Hey!
819
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:08,991
Oh, sorry.
820
00:31:08,992 --> 00:31:11,577
Okay, I need some scented
candles, dried flowers,
821
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:13,829
incense... either Passion
or Don Juan brand...
822
00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:16,457
and, uh, there's something
else that I didn't write down.
823
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:17,458
Oh, sage.
824
00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:19,168
Do you sell sage?
825
00:31:19,169 --> 00:31:20,878
Great.
826
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,046
♪ Hey, sister ♪
827
00:31:22,047 --> 00:31:24,423
♪ Can you feel my
soul runs free? ♪
828
00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:26,092
♪ Destruction
breaks the core ♪
829
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:27,843
♪ Taking toll on me ♪
830
00:31:27,844 --> 00:31:29,929
♪ Life stings with
circumstances ♪
831
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:35,423
♪ Cheating death romances me ♪
832
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,358
♪ Hey, mister ♪
833
00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:45,569
♪ Did you miss your chance
to see some truth? ♪
834
00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:48,114
♪ Have you misplaced
your identity? ♪
835
00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:50,241
♪ You've searched for
all the action ♪
836
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:54,954
♪ Where the dead can
dance and sing ♪
837
00:31:54,955 --> 00:32:00,146
♪ Whoo-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
838
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,758
The Slim Maker does
all the exercises...
839
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:10,954
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
840
00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:18,436
Hello?
841
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:19,437
Sam, hey.
842
00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:21,605
I am so sorry. I
got caught up.
843
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:22,648
Yeah, totally.
844
00:32:22,649 --> 00:32:23,649
That's cool.
845
00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:24,775
I wasn't sure if
you remembered...
846
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,944
I'm at the hospital, actually.
847
00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:27,945
Oh, my God.
848
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:29,488
I'm fine.
849
00:32:29,489 --> 00:32:30,698
Mm.
850
00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:35,536
My ex is a carpenter, actually,
and he hurt his hand...
851
00:32:35,537 --> 00:32:37,705
And he didn't have anyone
else to drive him.
852
00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:41,000
That's... that's actually a
really nice thing to do.
853
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:43,069
He would do the
same thing for me.
854
00:32:43,570 --> 00:32:45,171
Well, I really want
to make it up to you.
855
00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,964
I take a ballroom
class every Thursday,
856
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:48,466
if you're interested.
857
00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:51,218
Oh, I also do ballroom.
858
00:32:51,219 --> 00:32:52,595
You do? Yup.
859
00:32:52,596 --> 00:32:54,013
Honestly, though,
I haven't done it
860
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:56,390
since I was really,
really young, but...
861
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:58,767
Well, you better find
something snazzy to wear.
862
00:32:58,768 --> 00:32:59,768
Okay.
863
00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:00,811
I will.
864
00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:02,354
All right. I'll
talk to you then.
865
00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:03,606
Okay, good. Good.
866
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,607
All right.
867
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:06,142
Bye. Bye.
868
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:09,020
Okay.
869
00:33:13,617 --> 00:33:14,825
(SIGHS)
870
00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:16,118
(CHUCKLES)
871
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:19,314
(MID-TEMPO PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)
872
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,841
I like... I like your outfit.
873
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:33,427
(LAUGHING) Thanks.
874
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:36,013
What do you... where are
your dancing clothes?
875
00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:37,014
Oh, I've got 'em on.
876
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,015
They're just under here.
877
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,850
It's just like a wife
beater and a T-shirt.
878
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:41,589
Yeah? Yeah.
879
00:33:43,396 --> 00:33:45,356
I think I'm gonna go home
and change really quick.
880
00:33:45,357 --> 00:33:46,357
Oh, no, no. Come on.
881
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:49,235
I misinterpreted what you said.
882
00:33:49,236 --> 00:33:50,528
Just take your
jacket off a second.
883
00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:51,862
I'm sure it's fine.
884
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:55,699
Okay, I-I-I got to... I
just got to tell you,
885
00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:59,161
when I was dancing, they wore different
things, and you said, "snazzy."
886
00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:00,329
I know. I did say snazzy.
887
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:04,542
Okay, really quick, but you can't laugh,
or else I'm jumping out of the cab.
888
00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:05,626
(LAUGHS)
889
00:34:05,627 --> 00:34:07,294
Okay. No, no! I don't...
890
00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:09,380
I mean, that was a... that
was a laugh of excitement
891
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,215
because it's so snazzy.
892
00:34:11,216 --> 00:34:12,716
Can I go home? I'm just
gonna put a T-shirt...
893
00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:14,134
I think it's great.
I think it's great.
894
00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:16,428
Some people dress
up, so it's okay.
895
00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:18,247
Oh, no. And we're
here anyway, so...
896
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:20,599
It's gonna be fine. I got you.
897
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,934
I promise it's gonna be...
it's gonna be fine.
898
00:34:21,935 --> 00:34:23,628
Oh, please. Okay.
899
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:25,688
Oh, uh, sorry, sir.
900
00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:28,315
How much... how
much do I owe you?
901
00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:29,400
What are you doing?
902
00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:30,401
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
903
00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:32,687
(LAUGHS)
904
00:34:35,323 --> 00:34:36,323
Oh, it's right here.
905
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:37,812
Oh, okay.
906
00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:41,328
Hey.
907
00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:42,329
Hey!
908
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:44,081
Birdie, what have we got here?
909
00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:48,043
Harriet, Henry, this is
my new recruit, Sam.
910
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,044
Oh, Sam.
911
00:34:49,045 --> 00:34:51,088
Raymond's not gonna be pleased.
912
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:52,873
Ah, he'll be fine.
913
00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:54,967
Hey. Oh.
914
00:34:54,968 --> 00:34:55,968
Nice threads.
915
00:34:55,969 --> 00:34:56,969
Oh, thank you.
916
00:34:56,970 --> 00:34:57,970
You a pro?
917
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,263
No. Are you?
918
00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:00,931
How do you define a pro?
919
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:04,810
Well, it's someone who gets
paid for dancing, I guess.
920
00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:06,812
Oh, not with money.
921
00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:08,314
We get rewards in other ways.
922
00:35:08,315 --> 00:35:09,315
Ah.
923
00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:10,316
Pride.
924
00:35:10,317 --> 00:35:11,275
Right. Roberto.
925
00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:12,276
Oh, hi. Sam.
926
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:13,277
Mercedes.
927
00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:14,278
Oh, hello.
928
00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:15,279
Hi.
929
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,615
We've won this thing for
the last three years.
930
00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:19,400
Don't get any ideas.
931
00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:21,560
Okay.
932
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:24,455
Wow.
933
00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:25,914
It's not a competition.
934
00:35:25,915 --> 00:35:27,291
Oh.
935
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:28,292
Did someone tell them that?
936
00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:29,293
(LAUGHS)
937
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:30,794
So let me get this straight
938
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:34,632
you write novels for
movies that already exist.
939
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:36,258
Yes. Yep.
940
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:39,928
Did you see, um, you
know, Teen Vampire?
941
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:41,305
That... that was huge.
942
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:42,514
The movie was, yeah.
943
00:35:42,515 --> 00:35:46,185
The novelization was not so
much. I'm gonna read it anyway.
944
00:35:46,186 --> 00:35:48,771
You don't have to
read it, really.
945
00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:50,189
Just rent the movie.
946
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,815
What's your favorite book?
947
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:54,476
The Teachings of Don Juan:
A Yaqui Way of Knowledge.
948
00:35:55,904 --> 00:35:56,945
Are you serious?
949
00:35:56,946 --> 00:35:58,656
What? That's my favorite book.
950
00:35:58,657 --> 00:35:59,823
What? Yeah!
951
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:02,117
Oh, when he turns into the...
The crow.
952
00:36:02,118 --> 00:36:03,410
Dude, I tripped out in college.
953
00:36:03,411 --> 00:36:05,663
I tripped out so hard.
954
00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,790
First day on the job, rookie?
955
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:08,832
No.
956
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:09,875
First day on the job, rookie?
957
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:10,876
Okay, he just said that.
958
00:36:10,877 --> 00:36:11,877
What's with those two?
959
00:36:11,878 --> 00:36:13,712
Ah, don't listen to 'em.
960
00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:15,047
Oh!
961
00:36:15,048 --> 00:36:16,090
Yeah, see?
962
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:17,091
(LAUGHS)
963
00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:18,801
You actually have some
pretty sweet moves.
964
00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:20,344
Oh, thanks.
965
00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:21,845
Must be all the judo training.
966
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,347
Deep into judo.
967
00:36:23,348 --> 00:36:24,765
(LAUGHS)
968
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:26,016
What?
969
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,184
What's so funny? Nothing. No.
970
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:31,855
I just... My parents'
dog's name is Judo,
971
00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:34,692
and you said, "deep into judo."
972
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:35,818
That just sounded funny.
973
00:36:35,819 --> 00:36:36,902
I'm an infant.
974
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:37,903
(LAUGHS)
975
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:38,904
Yeah.
976
00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:40,989
Your parents' dog is named Judo?
977
00:36:40,990 --> 00:36:42,032
Yeah.
978
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:42,866
(CHUCKLES)
979
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,560
That is funny,
980
00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:51,333
Invite her to the next
Sacred Spirit retreat.
981
00:36:51,334 --> 00:36:52,543
This one's only one night.
982
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:53,544
You kidding?
983
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,033
No. I actually like this girl.
984
00:36:57,966 --> 00:36:59,258
You drinking whiskey?
985
00:36:59,259 --> 00:37:01,802
Bourbon. Bourbon?
986
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:02,995
I hate it so much.
987
00:37:03,847 --> 00:37:05,097
It's her favorite, though.
988
00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:06,632
Got to build up my immunity.
989
00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:10,394
Are you okay?
990
00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:11,883
It's so smooth.
991
00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:14,732
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
992
00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:16,400
♪ L.O.V. for you and me ♪
993
00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:18,811
♪ That's just the way
it's got to be ♪
994
00:37:22,615 --> 00:37:24,241
♪ L.O.V. for you and me ♪
995
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:25,242
♪ That's just the way ♪
996
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:27,953
Hey, Gerard, what's another
word for "smitten"?
997
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:29,146
"Horny."
998
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:34,001
♪ Love is a feeling ♪
999
00:37:34,002 --> 00:37:36,253
♪ Feel the words of love ♪
1000
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,588
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
1001
00:37:37,589 --> 00:37:38,839
♪ Come on, now ♪
1002
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,842
♪ Hold these words as
the sweetest embrace ♪
1003
00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:43,343
♪ And try ♪
1004
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,458
♪ Come on, try ♪
1005
00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:50,934
(KEYS CLACKING)
1006
00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:52,770
I think you might be the
first guy I've ever met
1007
00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:54,521
that actually likes doing this.
1008
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:57,691
♪ That you've given
up on love ♪
1009
00:37:57,692 --> 00:38:00,978
♪ I'm hoping that
you'll come around ♪
1010
00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:04,018
This is so exciting, right?
1011
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:06,283
I wish I could draw.
1012
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:08,022
That is such a dope talent.
1013
00:38:08,369 --> 00:38:09,369
You know, this one here
1014
00:38:09,370 --> 00:38:10,871
is quite the talented
artist himself.
1015
00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:11,872
Yeah, right.
1016
00:38:11,873 --> 00:38:13,123
I'm... no, I'm not.
1017
00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,292
I'm not as... not
as dope as she is.
1018
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,294
(LAUGHS)
1019
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:19,113
Oh, my God. That's so funny.
1020
00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:24,827
These are so good.
1021
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:28,722
Do you have, like, a time frame
1022
00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:31,058
to make it doing
drawing or whatever?
1023
00:38:31,059 --> 00:38:32,718
Well, what do you
mean, "make it"?
1024
00:38:33,353 --> 00:38:35,046
Success is a myth.
1025
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,065
Love's the only true currency.
1026
00:38:38,066 --> 00:38:40,818
After all this is done,
1027
00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:44,105
all that really matters
is how and who you loved.
1028
00:38:45,367 --> 00:38:46,448
But there must be something
1029
00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:48,826
that you're working
toward, right?
1030
00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:50,202
This.
1031
00:38:50,203 --> 00:38:52,162
What do you mean, this?
1032
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:55,332
This brings me happiness.
1033
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,000
You know, and maybe, you know,
1034
00:38:57,001 --> 00:38:59,945
in a week or maybe a year
from now, it won't, but...
1035
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:03,699
You know, then I'll just move
on to the next thing that does.
1036
00:39:07,637 --> 00:39:08,637
All right.
1037
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:09,638
Looks good.
1038
00:39:09,639 --> 00:39:11,056
I think... I think
we're done, yeah.
1039
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:12,724
It's about time.
1040
00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:14,726
You two are such a rad couple.
1041
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:17,020
You both draw or whatever.
It's so cool.
1042
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:20,557
I remember when Kyle first...
Hey, let's go. Sorry.
1043
00:39:21,526 --> 00:39:22,526
Good luck.
1044
00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:23,810
Good luck to you.
1045
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,306
Yeesh.
1046
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,074
You must not be able
to always draw people
1047
00:39:29,075 --> 00:39:30,367
completely accurately
1048
00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,577
at the risk of offending
them, I imagine.
1049
00:39:31,578 --> 00:39:32,786
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1050
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,454
Well, every now and then, you
get someone that's, like,
1051
00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:35,706
slightly offended.
1052
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,875
I kind of miss Kyle
in a weird way.
1053
00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:40,252
Yeah, well, we'll always
have the memory of Kyle
1054
00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:41,253
in our hearts.
1055
00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:42,254
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
1056
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,714
We can always look
back and smile.
1057
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,408
(CHUCKLES)
1058
00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:49,294
(LAUGHS)
1059
00:39:50,471 --> 00:39:51,663
What?
1060
00:39:52,557 --> 00:39:54,000
Nothing. I'm...
1061
00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:57,227
Just glad I met you.
1062
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:58,796
That's all.
1063
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,109
I was... Oh.
1064
00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,319
Sorry. Sorry.
1065
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,071
Um... I'm sorry. That was...
1066
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:09,531
I was supposed to kiss
you on the cheek.
1067
00:40:09,532 --> 00:40:10,770
Right.
1068
00:40:11,701 --> 00:40:14,896
(EARNEST MUSIC)
1069
00:40:28,843 --> 00:40:31,503
I'm supposed to kiss
you on the cheek too.
1070
00:40:39,395 --> 00:40:40,633
Are you free tonight?
1071
00:40:42,982 --> 00:40:44,107
Yeah. Yeah?
1072
00:40:44,108 --> 00:40:45,300
Sure.
1073
00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:50,113
♪ The future's
still a mystery ♪
1074
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:51,990
So your ex... your ex
is singing tonight?
1075
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:52,991
This is the one
from the hospital?
1076
00:40:52,992 --> 00:40:54,201
Yes, Tony. Oh, okay.
1077
00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:55,202
Oh, cool.
1078
00:40:55,203 --> 00:40:57,287
He's really cool, and he
just got back from, like,
1079
00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:58,872
traveling all around the world.
1080
00:40:58,873 --> 00:40:59,873
Wow.
1081
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,291
Yeah. I can't wait for
you to meet him, though.
1082
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:02,459
He's gonna love you.
1083
00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:05,545
Oh, I can't wait to
be loved by him.
1084
00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:06,838
(CHUCKLES)
1085
00:41:06,839 --> 00:41:08,507
So I thought you said, um...
1086
00:41:08,508 --> 00:41:11,343
I mean, isn't he a carpenter
or... Yeah, yeah.
1087
00:41:11,344 --> 00:41:13,679
Well, you know, Tony
is an interesting one,
1088
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,306
because he kind of does, like,
a little bit of everything,
1089
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:17,641
so he just got into carpentry,
1090
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:19,017
and he's just been
doing it on the side
1091
00:41:19,018 --> 00:41:20,018
for friends and family.
1092
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,353
Oh, very cool.
1093
00:41:21,354 --> 00:41:22,354
Yeah.
1094
00:41:22,355 --> 00:41:23,647
Nice. He's like a
jack-of-all-trades.
1095
00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:24,815
Exactly. I can't
wait to meet him.
1096
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:25,816
Hey! Jesus Christ.
1097
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:26,858
Hey, man! Tony!
1098
00:41:26,859 --> 00:41:28,318
Oh, Tony, hey.
It's you, right?
1099
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,319
Hey. How's it going?
1100
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,862
I am so fucking
glad to meet you.
1101
00:41:30,863 --> 00:41:32,322
Yeah. Fucking
good to meet you.
1102
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,365
Thanks for coming up.
1103
00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:35,325
Mm. Wow. Looking good.
1104
00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:36,326
(LAUGHING) Thanks.
1105
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:37,327
I love you, babe.
1106
00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:38,328
Oh, you know I wouldn't miss it.
1107
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,538
Yeah?
(LAUGHS)
1108
00:41:39,539 --> 00:41:41,665
Come on. Let's get this
musical debacle started.
1109
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:42,749
We're so excited. Yeah.
1110
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:43,834
I can't wait to hear you play.
1111
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:44,960
I've heard so much about you.
1112
00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:46,294
Oh, that's good of
you to say, man.
1113
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:47,337
Thanks a lot.
1114
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,422
I can't wait to play,
1115
00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:51,174
but I went and chopped
up my paw really good.
1116
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,175
Oh.
1117
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:53,885
Tony, you have to be
more careful next time.
1118
00:41:53,886 --> 00:41:55,262
Yeah, okay. You hear that?
1119
00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,597
That is exactly the reason why
she gets along with my ma.
1120
00:41:57,598 --> 00:41:59,224
(BOTH LAUGH)
1121
00:41:59,225 --> 00:42:00,225
Aw.
1122
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:01,226
Oh, my God! What?
1123
00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:02,853
I can't believe I
didn't think of this.
1124
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:03,854
Sam plays guitar.
1125
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:04,855
Seriously? Yeah.
1126
00:42:04,856 --> 00:42:05,856
No.
1127
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,149
Brother.
1128
00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:08,150
Oh. You're up.
1129
00:42:08,151 --> 00:42:10,152
Oh, n... oh, well... He plays!
1130
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:11,153
No, no! No, no, Tony.
1131
00:42:11,154 --> 00:42:12,571
Would you? Come on.
Tony, honestly...
1132
00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:13,947
I won't take "no" for an answer.
1133
00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:15,516
Please, Tony. Don't
do this to me.
1134
00:42:15,992 --> 00:42:17,659
Tony... You guys ready?
1135
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:18,660
Brother, you ready?
1136
00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:20,370
Yeah. All right,
Three, two-go.
1137
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:21,413
I got to tune this up.
1138
00:42:21,414 --> 00:42:22,706
You know what? I should tune.
1139
00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:23,623
Sorry, guys.
1140
00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:25,709
It's how this is...
yeah. Yeah.
1141
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:28,086
Is this... this is...
1142
00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:29,546
You take your time, bro.
1143
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:31,048
You take your time, brother.
1144
00:42:31,049 --> 00:42:32,257
I don't think... I'm not
really used to playing this.
1145
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,575
It's a... I'm a righty.
1146
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:36,094
He's good, right?
1147
00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:38,388
I mean, he does this... yeah.
1148
00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:39,431
Go ahead. Go ahead.
1149
00:42:39,432 --> 00:42:40,432
(GUITAR STRAINING)
1150
00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:42,392
Can you do it with him?
1151
00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:44,728
Oh! What? I'm sorry.
1152
00:42:44,729 --> 00:42:46,229
Popped-popped the old string.
1153
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:47,898
Sorry, guys. It's
all right, brother.
1154
00:42:47,899 --> 00:42:49,066
Oh, sorry.
1155
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:50,567
I owe you a guitar.
You break things.
1156
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:51,568
Things break.
1157
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:52,819
They're objects.
It's all right.
1158
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:53,820
All right. Thanks, brother.
1159
00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:55,906
This one's gonna
go out for you.
1160
00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:56,907
What was that?
1161
00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:58,533
I just... it's too hard.
Too much.
1162
00:42:58,534 --> 00:42:59,576
Don't worry about it.
1163
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:02,772
(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
1164
00:43:16,344 --> 00:43:18,595
Birdie Hazel, ladies and gents!
1165
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:19,471
Bring her on up!
1166
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:21,139
Come on up.
1167
00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:22,140
Come on up, doll.
1168
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,141
No!
1169
00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:24,559
Come on.
1170
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:25,820
Okay. Okay.
1171
00:43:25,845 --> 00:43:27,199
(LAUGHS) Bye.
1172
00:43:32,902 --> 00:43:34,903
♪ Oh, who will dress ♪
1173
00:43:34,904 --> 00:43:37,322
♪ Your pretty little feet? ♪
1174
00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:40,700
♪ Who will glove your hand? ♪
1175
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:45,163
♪ And who will kiss
your rosy red cheeks ♪
1176
00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:49,042
♪ When I'm in a far-off land? ♪
1177
00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:53,004
♪ The storms are
on the ocean ♪
1178
00:43:53,005 --> 00:43:56,883
♪ The heavens may
cease to be ♪
1179
00:43:56,884 --> 00:44:00,846
♪ This world may lose
its motion, love ♪
1180
00:44:00,847 --> 00:44:04,099
♪ If I prove false to thee ♪
1181
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:07,295
(SCATTERED CHEERS)
1182
00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:14,109
You're so, so amazing.
1183
00:44:14,110 --> 00:44:15,986
Like, I had no idea
you could do that.
1184
00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:18,029
Oh, thanks.
(LAUGHS)
1185
00:44:18,030 --> 00:44:19,739
Oh. Oh, my God.
1186
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:20,740
Talented.
1187
00:44:20,741 --> 00:44:22,701
Hi!
1188
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:23,702
Oh, hey. Hey.
1189
00:44:23,703 --> 00:44:24,703
This... hey.
1190
00:44:24,704 --> 00:44:26,246
Hi. Hi.
1191
00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:27,289
This is Birdie.
1192
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:29,166
I'm Ashley. We've heard
so much about you.
1193
00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:30,333
Hey. I'm Eliot.
1194
00:44:30,334 --> 00:44:31,376
Nice to meet you.
1195
00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:32,377
Birdie. Yeah.
1196
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:33,461
I feel like I know you already.
1197
00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:34,504
He won't stop talking about you.
1198
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:36,173
Oh, uh... oh. Stalker alert.
1199
00:44:36,174 --> 00:44:38,208
No, no. Nothing like that.
1200
00:44:39,093 --> 00:44:41,428
Oh, did you tell her about
the Sacred Spirit retreat?
1201
00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:42,596
No, Eliot.
1202
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:44,347
You guys, you don't
have to come.
1203
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:45,515
Sacred spirit? What? What?
1204
00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:47,392
It's this... go ahead.
1205
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:48,852
Well, the next one's
only one night.
1206
00:44:48,853 --> 00:44:51,188
It's sort of a nightly camp to
kind of gather your thoughts.
1207
00:44:51,189 --> 00:44:52,772
It's a bunch of other
people out in nature,
1208
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,065
to refresh your spirit.
1209
00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:56,151
That sounds awesome.
1210
00:44:56,152 --> 00:44:58,153
That's, like, right up my alley.
Yeah.
1211
00:44:58,154 --> 00:44:59,154
Yeah, it's cool.
1212
00:44:59,155 --> 00:45:00,280
It's pretty cool. I
don't know, but...
1213
00:45:00,281 --> 00:45:01,281
Do you... you want to go?
1214
00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:02,282
Really?
1215
00:45:02,283 --> 00:45:03,283
Yeah. I mean, really.
1216
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:04,451
Is that... would that be cool?
1217
00:45:04,452 --> 00:45:05,410
Oh... Absolutely.
1218
00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:07,162
Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Please. Please.
1219
00:45:07,163 --> 00:45:08,914
If that's okay,
that'd be great.
1220
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:10,123
Yeah. That's great.
1221
00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:11,124
Yes!
1222
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:12,125
Oh, great. Oh, good.
1223
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,126
'Cause I wanted to go too, so...
1224
00:45:13,127 --> 00:45:14,211
Okay, good. Perfect. Perfect.
1225
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:15,212
Awesome.
1226
00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:17,130
Well, it was nice
to meet you guys.
1227
00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:18,715
Where's the nearest subway stop?
1228
00:45:18,716 --> 00:45:20,717
Oh, I'll walk you...
No, no. Forget it.
1229
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:21,718
Get in the car. It's too cold.
1230
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:22,719
Really? Yeah. Sure.
1231
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,095
Oh, my God. That's so nice.
1232
00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:25,889
Thank you. Okay.
1233
00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:29,809
All right. Uh... Bye. Bye.
1234
00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:31,002
(CHUCKLES)
1235
00:45:32,063 --> 00:45:33,730
Hey. Here. Oh, I... oh.
1236
00:45:33,731 --> 00:45:35,265
I got it.
1237
00:45:35,834 --> 00:45:37,234
Where am I going?
You really got it.
1238
00:45:37,235 --> 00:45:39,236
Just... She seems great!
1239
00:45:39,237 --> 00:45:41,101
She knows not to say
anything, right?
1240
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:44,407
Hey, El.
1241
00:45:44,408 --> 00:45:46,284
Do you have a cool,
like, hippie-type shirt
1242
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,327
I could wear for the retreat?
1243
00:45:47,328 --> 00:45:48,328
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1244
00:45:48,329 --> 00:45:49,663
Yep. Just give me a minute.
What are you doing?
1245
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:51,289
I'm just... I'm looking
at a magazine.
1246
00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:52,624
Looking at a magazine?
We got to go!
1247
00:45:52,625 --> 00:45:54,000
What magazine you looking at?
1248
00:45:54,001 --> 00:45:55,543
Martha Stewart Living.
1249
00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:58,255
Why... Oh, God.
1250
00:45:58,256 --> 00:45:59,589
Martha Stewart?
1251
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:00,757
Really?
1252
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,842
Yeah, dude, you got to see
this Thanksgiving issue cover.
1253
00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:03,885
It's insane.
1254
00:46:03,886 --> 00:46:05,470
No, I'm good.
1255
00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:07,084
Buddy, we got to go.
1256
00:46:08,266 --> 00:46:09,266
All right.
1257
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:10,475
Thanks for killing the mood.
1258
00:46:10,476 --> 00:46:11,476
Sorry.
1259
00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:12,727
You pumped for the retreat?
1260
00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:14,271
Pumped? No.
1261
00:46:14,272 --> 00:46:15,760
Um, do you... oh.
1262
00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:17,357
Birdie'll love it.
1263
00:46:17,358 --> 00:46:18,942
Do you think?
1264
00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:20,026
Thanks.
1265
00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:21,945
♪ She lit a fire ♪
1266
00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:26,313
♪ And now she's in
my every thought ♪
1267
00:46:31,455 --> 00:46:33,206
♪ She lit a fire ♪
1268
00:46:33,207 --> 00:46:36,751
♪ And now she's in
my every thought ♪
1269
00:46:36,752 --> 00:46:38,378
♪ Where ♪
1270
00:46:38,379 --> 00:46:42,424
♪ Could that girl have gone? ♪
1271
00:46:42,425 --> 00:46:44,509
♪ Where? ♪
1272
00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:48,138
♪ I've wandered far ♪
1273
00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:50,265
♪ Where ♪
1274
00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:53,393
♪ Could that girl have gone? ♪
1275
00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:54,811
♪ She left no trace ♪
1276
00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:56,062
♪ But I know her face ♪
1277
00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:58,803
♪ I will find her ♪
1278
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:17,876
It's really cold.
1279
00:47:17,877 --> 00:47:19,536
Ahh.
1280
00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:25,008
Yeah, you know, I don't...
1281
00:47:25,009 --> 00:47:27,677
I don't really smoke that
much, but what the hell?
1282
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:28,678
Yeah, me too.
1283
00:47:28,679 --> 00:47:31,348
I'm not exactly the lead
singer of Phish either,
1284
00:47:31,349 --> 00:47:34,505
but you know what they say...
when at retreats...
1285
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:37,212
You're gonna... you sure?
1286
00:47:38,481 --> 00:47:41,107
I'll light the old Christmas
tree whenever I get the urge.
1287
00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:42,650
(LAUGHTER)
1288
00:47:42,651 --> 00:47:43,651
What?
1289
00:47:43,652 --> 00:47:44,736
Christmas tree?
1290
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:45,904
What?
1291
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:47,072
S'mores for me.
1292
00:47:47,073 --> 00:47:48,323
S'mores, Sam.
1293
00:47:48,324 --> 00:47:49,574
(CLEARS THROAT)
1294
00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:51,076
Mm.
1295
00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:52,702
So, Birdie,
1296
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:54,496
is that, like, a
nickname, or that's...
1297
00:47:54,497 --> 00:47:55,997
God.
1298
00:47:55,998 --> 00:47:57,707
No, my parents were hippies...
Mm-hmm.
1299
00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:01,086
And they felt like the
world was caging in on us,
1300
00:48:01,087 --> 00:48:05,048
so they wanted their little
girl to fly free, hence Birdie.
1301
00:48:05,049 --> 00:48:07,550
Birdie. That's so cool.
1302
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,744
(COUGHING)
1303
00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:11,921
Oh, no.
1304
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:13,890
Oh, no?
1305
00:48:13,891 --> 00:48:15,266
What's wrong?
1306
00:48:15,267 --> 00:48:18,978
Hey, it might be the
shrooms talking to the K,
1307
00:48:18,979 --> 00:48:21,773
but don't you teach me guitar?
1308
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:23,358
No, that's the shrooms
talking to you.
1309
00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:24,359
You teach me the guitar.
1310
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:25,777
No, no.
1311
00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:27,237
(WHISPERING)
Hey, is this the chick?
1312
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:28,238
No.
1313
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,281
Is this the little pussy?
Shut up. Shut up.
1314
00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:31,282
Hey, guys, I'm gonna...
1315
00:48:31,283 --> 00:48:33,410
I'm gonna go get some
s'mores, I think.
1316
00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:34,452
Okay.
1317
00:48:34,453 --> 00:48:36,246
You good?
1318
00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:37,530
Where you going?
1319
00:48:39,250 --> 00:48:40,909
Hello. Hi. You want a s'more?
1320
00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:43,837
Hello?
1321
00:48:43,838 --> 00:48:47,257
(PSYCHEDELIC SITAR MUSIC)
1322
00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:49,300
What the fuck?
1323
00:48:49,301 --> 00:48:52,496
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1324
00:48:59,562 --> 00:49:00,895
Sam. Huh?
1325
00:49:00,896 --> 00:49:03,106
You okay? Oh, no,
I'm chillin'.
1326
00:49:03,107 --> 00:49:04,107
Guys, come on.
1327
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:05,775
This mantra's not
gonna chant itself.
1328
00:49:05,776 --> 00:49:07,193
Okay!
1329
00:49:07,194 --> 00:49:08,194
Oh, Jesus.
1330
00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:10,184
Your boyfriend is killing
me with this thing.
1331
00:49:11,115 --> 00:49:12,490
I was doing so well too.
1332
00:49:12,491 --> 00:49:14,492
It was happening.
It was flowing.
1333
00:49:14,493 --> 00:49:15,660
Now I'm so stoned.
1334
00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:16,953
I'm so fucked.
1335
00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:18,442
I'm gonna be completely exposed.
1336
00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:20,665
What are you doing?
1337
00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:21,666
Huh?
1338
00:49:21,667 --> 00:49:24,702
Oh, eating helps calm me
down when I'm stressed out.
1339
00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:27,088
I have a medical condition.
1340
00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:28,089
These are disgusting.
1341
00:49:28,090 --> 00:49:31,426
No, what... What are you
doing with the girl?
1342
00:49:31,427 --> 00:49:32,469
What are you talking about?
1343
00:49:32,470 --> 00:49:34,179
Completely exposed?
1344
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,347
Sam, it's a... it's a
little dramatic, I think.
1345
00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:37,348
Ash, look at her.
1346
00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,058
Look at this place.
It's a perfect fit.
1347
00:49:39,059 --> 00:49:40,059
I can't do this shit.
1348
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:41,060
It's not me.
1349
00:49:41,061 --> 00:49:42,353
I don't know what
I'm doing here.
1350
00:49:42,354 --> 00:49:43,480
Such a mistake.
1351
00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:45,064
It's called "compromise."
1352
00:49:45,065 --> 00:49:47,650
Look, wine tasting
isn't exactly.
1353
00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:49,444
Eliot's, like, favorite
thing in the world.
1354
00:49:49,445 --> 00:49:50,320
But remember?
1355
00:49:50,321 --> 00:49:52,405
He took me to the Finger
Lakes last summer.
1356
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:54,491
We had a really good time
'cause he knew it was something
1357
00:49:54,492 --> 00:49:56,201
that I had always wanted to do.
1358
00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:58,077
He showed me the pictures.
I know!
1359
00:49:58,078 --> 00:50:00,413
And, look, I am not really into
1360
00:50:00,414 --> 00:50:03,791
all this spiritual
mumbo-jumbo... Right?
1361
00:50:03,792 --> 00:50:06,127
But I come on all these
retreats with him.
1362
00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:07,504
Look, you don't have to love it.
1363
00:50:07,505 --> 00:50:11,036
You just have to try it for
the sake of your partner.
1364
00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:14,010
Right.
1365
00:50:14,011 --> 00:50:15,845
You're right.
1366
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,013
Eyes on the prize, soldier.
1367
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,139
Okay. Okay.
1368
00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:19,224
Eyes on the prize.
1369
00:50:19,225 --> 00:50:20,183
Here. Take a napkin.
1370
00:50:20,184 --> 00:50:22,018
Uh, no. I'm good.
1371
00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:30,019
Eyes on the prize.
1372
00:50:31,278 --> 00:50:32,362
Both: Eyes on the prize.
1373
00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:33,863
Eyes on the prize.
1374
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:34,864
Eyes on the prize.
1375
00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:37,242
Eyes on the prize.
1376
00:50:37,243 --> 00:50:39,232
(ALL CHANTING)
Eyes on the prize.
1377
00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:42,580
That's what I said now.
1378
00:50:42,581 --> 00:50:44,866
I'm the one that loves
you, baby; can't you see?
1379
00:50:46,001 --> 00:50:48,069
I'm the one that loves
you, baby; can't you see?
1380
00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:51,839
I just... just go ahead now.
1381
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:56,745
If you want to buy me flowers,
just... go ahead now.
1382
00:50:58,088 --> 00:50:59,889
I wish I could say that
was the craziest thing
1383
00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:02,141
that I've ever done just now.
1384
00:51:02,142 --> 00:51:05,019
I-I can say that, easily.
1385
00:51:05,020 --> 00:51:07,855
I-I can say that I've never
started a chant before.
1386
00:51:07,856 --> 00:51:09,232
You had them going!
1387
00:51:09,233 --> 00:51:10,233
They loved it.
1388
00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:12,193
Yeah, that got... It was fun.
1389
00:51:12,194 --> 00:51:13,432
It got intense.
1390
00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:16,447
Okay.
1391
00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:17,907
If you could go
anywhere in the world,
1392
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:19,284
where would you go?
1393
00:51:19,285 --> 00:51:21,578
Orlando, definitely.
1394
00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:22,870
I've always wanted
to go to Orlando
1395
00:51:22,871 --> 00:51:24,289
or maybe one of the outlying
suburbs of Orlando.
1396
00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:26,249
(LAUGHS)
1397
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:27,166
You know, I don't know.
1398
00:51:27,167 --> 00:51:29,210
I haven't traveled as
much as I want to.
1399
00:51:29,211 --> 00:51:30,628
I really want to travel.
1400
00:51:30,629 --> 00:51:32,589
I've never even been
outside the States.
1401
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:33,590
Really? Yeah.
1402
00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:34,908
Oh, man.
1403
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,720
I'd love... I'd love to go to
the Galápagos islands, though.
1404
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:41,373
That's the... that's the place...
one place I'd want to go.
1405
00:51:42,141 --> 00:51:43,683
That's so crazy.
1406
00:51:43,684 --> 00:51:45,226
Why?
1407
00:51:45,227 --> 00:51:49,397
That's, like, the one place
on Earth I don't want to go.
1408
00:51:49,398 --> 00:51:52,108
Like, real... Are you kidding?
1409
00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:53,776
No... well, okay.
1410
00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,570
I love what it represents,
1411
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:58,906
and I-I'm in love with
place, but... Yeah.
1412
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:00,992
I feel like by going there,
1413
00:52:00,993 --> 00:52:03,620
it would be, like, the end
of what makes it what it is.
1414
00:52:03,621 --> 00:52:04,621
You know?
1415
00:52:04,622 --> 00:52:06,247
It's like this untouched
part of the world,
1416
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,666
and it's got all these
incredible animals
1417
00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:09,917
that you can't find
anywhere else,
1418
00:52:09,918 --> 00:52:11,836
and they're just roaming freely.
1419
00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:12,837
Tortoises and...
1420
00:52:12,838 --> 00:52:14,631
There's, like, this
natural perfection to it.
1421
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:17,675
Right, so that's... What's wrong
with that? That sounds...
1422
00:52:17,676 --> 00:52:18,718
That sounds great.
1423
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,512
Yeah, but I-I feel
like we'd find a way
1424
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:23,348
to fuck it up, you know?
1425
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:25,308
Selfishly, I'd love to go.
1426
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:27,268
I'd love to experience it.
1427
00:52:27,269 --> 00:52:31,105
But if we got to go, then so
would bloated, pasty tourists
1428
00:52:31,106 --> 00:52:32,982
who want an exotic honeymoon.
1429
00:52:32,983 --> 00:52:34,025
No thanks.
1430
00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:35,434
(CHUCKLES)
1431
00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:39,656
You know, that's... that's exactly
how I feel about Orlando.
1432
00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:41,521
(LAUGHS)
1433
00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:44,526
(SIGHS)
1434
00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:46,329
Oh, my God.
1435
00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:47,997
My parents would love this.
1436
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,207
Oh, really? Yeah.
1437
00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:52,335
They must be, like,
super hippies.
1438
00:52:52,336 --> 00:52:53,544
Let me just put it this way
1439
00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:56,464
in college, they had a band
called Hemp Hemp Hooray.
1440
00:52:56,465 --> 00:52:57,507
(LAUGHING) What?
1441
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:59,008
That's... that's amazing.
1442
00:52:59,009 --> 00:53:00,718
Yeah.
1443
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,220
Where do they live?
1444
00:53:02,221 --> 00:53:06,224
They live in Oregon growing
God-knows-what on their farm.
1445
00:53:06,225 --> 00:53:07,542
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1446
00:53:08,227 --> 00:53:09,886
What about you? What
about your parents?
1447
00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:12,355
My dad's fine.
1448
00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:17,276
He's up in Vermont,
living the quiet life.
1449
00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:21,364
He's a retired... retired
columnist, very heady.
1450
00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:22,532
Nice.
1451
00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:23,783
Yeah.
1452
00:53:23,784 --> 00:53:25,397
What about your mom?
Where's your mom?
1453
00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:32,125
My mom and I had sort of, um...
1454
00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,240
sort of an up-and-down
relationship.
1455
00:53:34,545 --> 00:53:37,463
Mostly down, I guess.
1456
00:53:37,464 --> 00:53:42,760
She left my dad for someone
else who she thought was better
1457
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:47,423
and kind of stopped talking
to me in the process.
1458
00:53:47,558 --> 00:53:51,006
Just sort of...
sort of cut us off.
1459
00:53:55,274 --> 00:53:58,935
So you guys don't
talk at all anymore?
1460
00:53:59,945 --> 00:54:00,987
Um, no.
1461
00:54:00,988 --> 00:54:05,742
I... I got a card in the
mail about three years ago.
1462
00:54:05,743 --> 00:54:09,859
No, four, actually, now.
1463
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:11,581
God.
1464
00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:14,167
Yeah, it was from
her new husband,
1465
00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:17,787
and it just said that she'd...
she'd passed away.
1466
00:54:19,302 --> 00:54:21,382
But, you know, we hadn't
talked in, like, five years,
1467
00:54:21,383 --> 00:54:25,762
so it was... it was...
it was actually...
1468
00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:28,298
it wasn't as bad as
it could have been.
1469
00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:34,604
I-I'm... I... I kind of hate
talking about this stuff.
1470
00:54:34,605 --> 00:54:37,607
Yeah, no. Um... We don't
have to talk about it.
1471
00:54:37,608 --> 00:54:38,800
I'm...
1472
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:40,777
I'm so sorry.
1473
00:54:40,778 --> 00:54:42,095
No, no. It's okay.
1474
00:54:42,946 --> 00:54:44,405
It's all right. I'm just...
I'm...
1475
00:54:44,406 --> 00:54:47,817
I'm just stoned, and it's a lot.
1476
00:54:50,788 --> 00:54:53,073
I love this stuff,
though, you know?
1477
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:55,692
(CHUCKLES)
1478
00:54:56,460 --> 00:54:58,920
I think we are who we are
when we're with the people
1479
00:54:58,921 --> 00:55:00,830
that make us feel
the most alive.
1480
00:55:03,175 --> 00:55:05,494
I don't know. I feel
very alive right now.
1481
00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:08,041
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1482
00:55:10,682 --> 00:55:12,308
(SNIFFLES)
1483
00:55:12,309 --> 00:55:13,501
I-I can't...
1484
00:55:14,436 --> 00:55:15,770
I can't decide
which is better...
1485
00:55:15,771 --> 00:55:19,148
the fact that it's
minus 20 degrees out
1486
00:55:19,149 --> 00:55:22,819
or the millions of twigs jabbing
me in the ass right now.
1487
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:24,320
(LAUGHS)
1488
00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:25,321
I know.
1489
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:26,656
I have, like, a root jabbing me.
1490
00:55:26,657 --> 00:55:27,990
(BOTH LAUGH)
1491
00:55:27,991 --> 00:55:29,408
I'll jab you with a root.
1492
00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:31,369
(STIFLED LAUGHTER)
Sorry.
1493
00:55:31,370 --> 00:55:32,787
That's... that's too bad,
1494
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:36,249
'cause I really love dirty
nature double entendres.
1495
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:38,084
Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.
1496
00:55:38,085 --> 00:55:39,502
Try saying that ten times fast.
1497
00:55:39,503 --> 00:55:43,214
Dirty nature double entendres.
1498
00:55:43,215 --> 00:55:45,033
It can't be done.
It's impossible.
1499
00:55:51,181 --> 00:55:58,838
Dirty... nature... double...
entendres.
1500
00:56:07,781 --> 00:56:10,408
I think I can feel that root
you were talking about.
1501
00:56:10,409 --> 00:56:11,701
Oh, dear. It's growing.
1502
00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:13,520
(LAUGHS)
1503
00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:26,549
Really?
1504
00:56:26,550 --> 00:56:28,384
Hey. Hey.
1505
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:30,136
I think... I think
we're good to go.
1506
00:56:30,137 --> 00:56:31,420
Yeah. Good.
1507
00:56:40,439 --> 00:56:44,926
Hey, um... I got to go help El
with the rest of the stuff.
1508
00:56:45,694 --> 00:56:47,728
Okay.
1509
00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:02,585
I told her about my
mother last night.
1510
00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:03,920
Such an idiot.
1511
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:06,505
Guarantee she's putting
the pieces together.
1512
00:57:06,506 --> 00:57:07,882
I don't know. She seems down.
1513
00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:08,883
Yeah.
1514
00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:10,968
El, she's down with the fake me.
1515
00:57:10,969 --> 00:57:12,929
It's fucking stupid.
1516
00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:14,543
I should never have done this.
1517
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:17,183
Well, I don't know.
1518
00:57:17,184 --> 00:57:18,225
I think you're pretty awesome.
1519
00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:20,878
You just seem...
(MUFFLED) I don't know. Mm.
1520
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:23,507
You just need to...
1521
00:57:24,566 --> 00:57:26,680
to be totally honest
with you right now...
1522
00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:29,971
Yeah?
1523
00:57:33,617 --> 00:57:34,809
What?
1524
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:38,692
Are you driving?
1525
00:57:39,331 --> 00:57:42,792
Not at the moment,
but I was about to.
1526
00:57:42,793 --> 00:57:44,031
Give me the keys.
1527
00:57:46,171 --> 00:57:49,366
(CHEERY MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC)
1528
00:58:01,186 --> 00:58:04,381
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
1529
00:58:10,570 --> 00:58:11,570
Hello?
1530
00:58:11,571 --> 00:58:12,780
Hey, I love it, my man.
1531
00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:14,365
I love where this
thing is going.
1532
00:58:14,366 --> 00:58:16,158
You do? Yeah.
1533
00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:18,023
That's... that's great.
1534
00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:21,706
I'm I'm I'm really
glad you're into it.
1535
00:58:21,707 --> 00:58:22,707
I'm more than into it.
1536
00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:24,166
You got my elegant wife
1537
00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:25,668
and this pack of
whores she runs with
1538
00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:26,919
cunt-bumping over this thing.
1539
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,005
Oh, that's awful.
1540
00:58:29,006 --> 00:58:30,339
Yeah, trust me, no one's
ever gonna call you
1541
00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:31,340
a hack writer again.
1542
00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:32,842
Okay, wait. Alan, who keeps...
1543
00:58:32,843 --> 00:58:33,926
Sorry. I got another
call coming in.
1544
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:35,052
I have to jump, okay?
1545
00:58:35,053 --> 00:58:37,013
I love you.
1546
00:58:37,014 --> 00:58:38,097
Okay.
1547
00:58:38,098 --> 00:58:39,348
Love you too.
1548
00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:42,214
Bobby. What have you
got for me, Al?
1549
00:58:43,145 --> 00:58:44,645
Was that Birdie?
1550
00:58:44,646 --> 00:58:46,689
What? Uh, no.
1551
00:58:46,690 --> 00:58:47,773
It was Alan.
1552
00:58:47,774 --> 00:58:49,108
Oh.
1553
00:58:49,109 --> 00:58:51,485
You got to help me come up
with a date for Birdie.
1554
00:58:51,486 --> 00:58:53,112
I've gone through
everything on the page.
1555
00:58:53,113 --> 00:58:54,647
She hasn't updated it in weeks.
1556
00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:56,574
I need something.
1557
00:58:56,575 --> 00:58:57,783
So why don't you go somewhere
1558
00:58:57,784 --> 00:58:59,368
where you want to
go for a change,
1559
00:58:59,369 --> 00:59:01,120
you know, something
from your profile?
1560
00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:02,872
Yeah, but it's got
to be up her alley.
1561
00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:04,957
You're up her alley, douche.
1562
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:08,044
Well, how about the... that
prop shop place you love?
1563
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:09,045
Go there on a date?
1564
00:59:09,046 --> 00:59:10,296
What would we do?
1565
00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:13,716
Uh, shop, talk, not be obsessed
with being someone else.
1566
00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:14,717
I don't know.
1567
00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:15,885
I have no idea if she'd be
into that kind of stuff.
1568
00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:18,125
It seems incredibly risky.
1569
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:20,639
Oh, man.
1570
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,424
Nope. Got to stick to the plan.
1571
00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:24,919
Ooh! Oh, boy.
1572
00:59:25,829 --> 00:59:27,229
It's all coming
back to you, right?
1573
00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:28,522
Oh, yeah.
1574
00:59:28,523 --> 00:59:29,931
It's like riding a bike...
1575
00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:33,611
A really steep, difficult bike.
1576
00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:34,804
(LAUGHS)
1577
00:59:36,239 --> 00:59:37,431
Oh, Jesus.
1578
00:59:38,617 --> 00:59:42,078
♪ And there comes a time ♪
1579
00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:45,414
♪ When you, when you... ♪
1580
00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:47,279
What is that?
1581
00:59:52,005 --> 00:59:53,839
Fuck!
1582
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:56,592
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1583
00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:59,095
In third-century Japan...
1584
00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:01,263
♪ So quit ♪
1585
01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:07,758
♪ So quit all that runnin' ♪
1586
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:17,279
♪ The birds on the street ♪
1587
01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:22,568
♪ Oh, the sweat
in your pores ♪
1588
01:00:27,207 --> 01:00:32,825
♪ Oh, stay free ♪
1589
01:00:34,422 --> 01:00:35,631
Switch seats.
1590
01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:37,166
Why?
1591
01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,043
Ah!
1592
01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:42,709
(GIGGLES)
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1593
01:00:49,896 --> 01:00:53,091
(RHYTHMIC SLOSHING)
1594
01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:57,095
Nosy parker.
1595
01:00:58,280 --> 01:00:59,518
Sorry.
1596
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:01,949
I'm sorry it's raining.
1597
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:02,992
(LAUGHING)
Well, it's okay.
1598
01:01:02,993 --> 01:01:04,368
It's not entirely your fault.
1599
01:01:04,369 --> 01:01:05,686
Heh. Yeah.
1600
01:01:06,872 --> 01:01:07,872
I'm excited, though.
1601
01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:09,498
This seems really cool.
1602
01:01:09,499 --> 01:01:11,834
Well, don't get too excited.
1603
01:01:11,835 --> 01:01:15,989
I mean, I like it, but, you
know, to each his own.
1604
01:01:18,425 --> 01:01:19,884
So they... they're
props from all...
1605
01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:21,010
these are all props from movies.
1606
01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:22,803
They keep them here.
This is so cool.
1607
01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:24,138
I love it. I feel
like a kid in here.
1608
01:01:24,139 --> 01:01:25,181
I just want to play
with everything.
1609
01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:27,046
Right? That's the
point, and you can.
1610
01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:28,893
Yes.
1611
01:01:28,894 --> 01:01:30,352
I'm gonna wear this to
the Kentucky Derby.
1612
01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:31,687
It's... I don't know if
you're even doing a joke,
1613
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,647
'cause it's... it's
actually nice on you.
1614
01:01:33,648 --> 01:01:35,232
I'm gonna wear
this to something.
1615
01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:36,817
(LAUGHS)
1616
01:01:36,818 --> 01:01:38,652
(GASPS)
Oh, my God, look.
1617
01:01:38,653 --> 01:01:39,653
This is perfect. Oh, my God.
1618
01:01:39,654 --> 01:01:40,905
Look. Yes.
1619
01:01:40,906 --> 01:01:41,906
Oh.
1620
01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:43,532
(GASPS)
That's so good.
1621
01:01:43,533 --> 01:01:45,271
Ah, it brings me back.
1622
01:01:45,827 --> 01:01:47,620
It's crazy.
1623
01:01:47,621 --> 01:01:48,954
It brings you back?
1624
01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:51,165
To what?
1625
01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:53,209
Your tour of duty in Iwo Jima?
1626
01:01:53,210 --> 01:01:55,278
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
1627
01:01:56,026 --> 01:01:57,546
No, what does it
remind you of, though?
1628
01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:58,547
Seriously.
1629
01:01:58,548 --> 01:02:00,716
Oh... Nothing. I... nothing.
1630
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:02,218
Oh, come on. I want to know.
No, no, I was just...
1631
01:02:02,219 --> 01:02:04,220
It's not even like
I'm, like, holding out
1632
01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:05,638
with some great thing.
1633
01:02:05,639 --> 01:02:07,097
Okay, so tell me.
It's not a big deal.
1634
01:02:07,098 --> 01:02:09,391
I was... I was in
the Boy Scouts.
1635
01:02:09,392 --> 01:02:10,768
I was a Boy Scout.
1636
01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:12,895
Ah, that's so cute.
1637
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:14,438
Oh, God, why wouldn't you
want to tell me that?
1638
01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:15,439
That's adorable!
1639
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:16,440
Ah.
1640
01:02:16,441 --> 01:02:19,068
Did your parents make
you do it as a kid?
1641
01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:20,069
Sort of.
1642
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:22,655
You know, you can...
People don't know this,
1643
01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:24,448
but you can be in the Boy
Scouts till you're 18.
1644
01:02:24,449 --> 01:02:26,116
It's not just, like, little...
1645
01:02:26,117 --> 01:02:29,078
Were you in the Boy
Scouts till you were 18?
1646
01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:32,998
Yeah. I wasn't as into... I was
really more into it... I know.
1647
01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:34,124
See, it's not cute.
1648
01:02:34,125 --> 01:02:35,125
No, it's so good.
1649
01:02:35,126 --> 01:02:36,377
Wait, please tell me you
still have the uniform.
1650
01:02:36,378 --> 01:02:37,378
Well, yeah.
1651
01:02:37,379 --> 01:02:38,379
Sadly, I think it
probably fits me.
1652
01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:39,588
Okay, well, you're gonna
have to wear this
1653
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:40,899
for me at some point,
1654
01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:43,092
because I actually
find that really sexy.
1655
01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:44,260
You do? I do.
1656
01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:46,220
It's weird, but
I'm I'm serious.
1657
01:02:46,221 --> 01:02:47,221
Really?
1658
01:02:47,222 --> 01:02:50,432
Everyone's allowed, like, a
nerdy skeleton in their closet.
1659
01:02:50,433 --> 01:02:52,851
Oh, yeah? Well, just one?
1660
01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:54,645
Actually, no.
1661
01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:57,064
You're allowed a whole
closetful of nerd skeletons.
1662
01:02:57,065 --> 01:02:58,565
Well, I would... I would...
1663
01:02:58,566 --> 01:03:01,277
I would need an industrial-sized
walk-in closet, then...
1664
01:03:01,278 --> 01:03:02,278
Oh, really?
1665
01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:04,071
For all my nerdy skeletons.
1666
01:03:04,072 --> 01:03:06,282
Give me another... give
me another example, then.
1667
01:03:06,283 --> 01:03:08,242
No. A really nerdy one.
1668
01:03:08,243 --> 01:03:11,036
I mean, there are just so many.
1669
01:03:11,037 --> 01:03:12,496
No, I'm serious, really.
1670
01:03:12,497 --> 01:03:13,914
Just one more.
1671
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:16,125
I feel like one nerdy
skeleton a day revealed is...
1672
01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:18,002
No. No, I definitely...
1673
01:03:18,003 --> 01:03:19,378
The nerdier, the sexier.
1674
01:03:19,379 --> 01:03:20,504
You know that, right?
1675
01:03:20,505 --> 01:03:22,256
Okay.
1676
01:03:22,257 --> 01:03:23,995
Well, in that case, uh...
1677
01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:26,885
I was in a band.
1678
01:03:26,886 --> 01:03:28,679
That's not that nerdy.
That's cool.
1679
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,432
Well... Unless you're, like,
a New Kid on the Block.
1680
01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:33,434
(LAUGHING)
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
1681
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:34,852
I was the... I was the
lost Wahlberg brother.
1682
01:03:34,853 --> 01:03:36,103
I knew it!
1683
01:03:36,104 --> 01:03:37,104
I'm Wally Wahlberg.
1684
01:03:37,105 --> 01:03:38,439
You look so much alike.
1685
01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:40,524
Right? I get that
all the time.
1686
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,138
Mostly in the ab region.
1687
01:03:42,823 --> 01:03:43,944
No, really, what did you do?
1688
01:03:43,945 --> 01:03:45,029
Did you play guitar
or something?
1689
01:03:45,030 --> 01:03:48,657
Uh... Oh, man.
1690
01:03:48,658 --> 01:03:49,658
What'd you do?
1691
01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:52,578
I... I did bass.
1692
01:03:52,579 --> 01:03:53,579
You did bass?
1693
01:03:53,580 --> 01:03:55,622
Mm-hmm.
1694
01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:57,791
That's either an expression
I've never heard,
1695
01:03:57,792 --> 01:03:58,959
or something's going on here.
1696
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:00,461
Well, I... yeah, I mean,
1697
01:04:00,462 --> 01:04:03,213
if you consider the voice
an instrument, I played.
1698
01:04:03,214 --> 01:04:06,284
Were there any actual
instruments in this band?
1699
01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:08,969
No, ma'am.
1700
01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:10,471
This is an a cappella
group, isn't it?
1701
01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:11,472
Nope.
1702
01:04:11,473 --> 01:04:12,765
You were in an a cappella group.
1703
01:04:12,766 --> 01:04:14,183
In an a cappella band, yes.
1704
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:15,976
I was in an a cappella band.
1705
01:04:15,977 --> 01:04:18,187
I can't believe you were
in an a cappella group,
1706
01:04:18,188 --> 01:04:19,188
and you didn't tell me.
1707
01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:20,439
Well, why...
1708
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:21,523
(LAUGHING)
Why would I tell you that?
1709
01:04:21,524 --> 01:04:24,264
Because it's awesome, and
we could have harmonized.
1710
01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:27,559
This is... is not so awesome.
1711
01:04:28,531 --> 01:04:30,949
There were as many
women in this band
1712
01:04:30,950 --> 01:04:32,576
as there were instruments.
1713
01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:33,577
That's the...
1714
01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:34,578
This was an all-male
a cappella group?
1715
01:04:34,579 --> 01:04:35,746
It was an all-male
a cappella group.
1716
01:04:35,747 --> 01:04:36,747
Oh, my God.
1717
01:04:36,748 --> 01:04:37,790
Yes, ma'am.
1718
01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:40,793
It was a man band, so get it...
get it straight.
1719
01:04:40,794 --> 01:04:44,213
Oh, there's nothing
straight about it.
1720
01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:45,964
(BOTH LAUGH)
1721
01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:47,508
♪ There is to find ♪
1722
01:04:47,509 --> 01:04:49,802
♪ For I don't know ♪
1723
01:04:49,803 --> 01:04:51,792
♪ It's my first time ♪
1724
01:04:53,139 --> 01:04:56,334
(MUFFLED CONVERSATION)
1725
01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,311
I'm so disgusted right now.
1726
01:04:59,312 --> 01:05:02,147
I can't even... I'm out of here.
1727
01:05:02,148 --> 01:05:04,483
Go fuck yourself, Eliot!
1728
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:05,676
(DOOR SLAMS)
1729
01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:08,153
What was that?
1730
01:05:08,154 --> 01:05:09,321
She saw all of it, man.
1731
01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:12,241
Jamie Lee Curtis, Kathleen
Turner, Christie Brinkley.
1732
01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:14,618
Fuck Wait. Kathleen Turner?
1733
01:05:14,619 --> 01:05:15,786
Really?
1734
01:05:15,787 --> 01:05:18,914
Dude... I'm sorry.
1735
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:20,528
Wait. Hold on. Hold on.
1736
01:05:21,793 --> 01:05:23,452
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1737
01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:26,839
Are you okay?
1738
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:29,258
She gave me an ultimatum.
1739
01:05:29,259 --> 01:05:30,717
(CHUCKLES)
1740
01:05:30,718 --> 01:05:34,096
Either the file goes or
she goes, so she went.
1741
01:05:34,097 --> 01:05:35,973
Wait a second.
1742
01:05:35,974 --> 01:05:37,474
You're talking about
a bunch of photos
1743
01:05:37,475 --> 01:05:39,935
of old celebrities that you jerk
off to and your girlfriend,
1744
01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:40,936
and you picked the photos?
1745
01:05:40,937 --> 01:05:42,229
Just because I'm
keeping the file
1746
01:05:42,230 --> 01:05:43,689
doesn't mean that I
love her any less.
1747
01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:45,774
Why not just do whatever
makes her happy?
1748
01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:46,775
Or if you got to keep 'em,
1749
01:05:46,776 --> 01:05:48,777
just lie to her and say
you threw them out.
1750
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,362
It's not just about the
stupid fucking pictures!
1751
01:05:50,363 --> 01:05:52,448
I don't even... I don't care.
1752
01:05:52,449 --> 01:05:56,535
It's just how much of myself,
of what makes me who I am,
1753
01:05:56,536 --> 01:05:59,981
can I just erase or...
or throw out?
1754
01:06:00,915 --> 01:06:02,858
Fuck it. I'm sorry
for waking you up.
1755
01:06:03,334 --> 01:06:04,777
It's okay.
1756
01:06:09,382 --> 01:06:11,967
So I have a surprise for
the recital next Friday.
1757
01:06:11,968 --> 01:06:12,968
Oh, yeah? Yep.
1758
01:06:12,969 --> 01:06:14,303
You're full of surprises.
1759
01:06:14,304 --> 01:06:16,430
My parents are coming. Whoa.
1760
01:06:16,431 --> 01:06:18,223
Yeah. That's crazy.
1761
01:06:18,224 --> 01:06:19,224
They're really nice.
1762
01:06:19,225 --> 01:06:21,226
They're really mellow, so
it's no pressure at all.
1763
01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:22,227
Okay.
1764
01:06:22,228 --> 01:06:25,423
(UPBEAT TANGO MUSIC)
1765
01:06:34,741 --> 01:06:39,077
Do you, um... Do you want to
come upstairs for a nightcap?
1766
01:06:39,078 --> 01:06:41,163
A nightcap?
1767
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:42,372
What year is this?
1768
01:06:42,373 --> 01:06:43,373
Shut up.
1769
01:06:43,374 --> 01:06:44,541
I assumed that you knew
1770
01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:47,669
that "nightcap" is a
euphemism for sexy time.
1771
01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:49,338
Ah, no. No.
1772
01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:50,881
I never heard that.
1773
01:06:50,882 --> 01:06:55,010
I'd love to come up
and nightcap you,
1774
01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:58,514
but I don't think the Indian
food and the dance moves
1775
01:06:58,515 --> 01:07:00,599
are really joining
in perfect harmony.
1776
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,017
I'm so sorry.
1777
01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:02,976
It's okay.
1778
01:07:02,977 --> 01:07:04,228
Oh.
1779
01:07:04,229 --> 01:07:05,229
Well, s... yeah.
1780
01:07:05,230 --> 01:07:07,981
Just get some rest and call
me if you need anything.
1781
01:07:07,982 --> 01:07:09,390
I will. I will.
1782
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:11,681
You don't look good.
1783
01:07:12,987 --> 01:07:14,225
I'll be okay.
1784
01:07:15,498 --> 01:07:16,698
Well, tonight was really nice.
1785
01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:18,233
Yeah.
1786
01:07:21,079 --> 01:07:23,872
"I have learned that to be
with those I like is enough."
1787
01:07:23,873 --> 01:07:25,486
(CHUCKLES)
1788
01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:30,120
It's... it's Walt Whitman.
1789
01:07:31,339 --> 01:07:32,577
Yeah, I know.
1790
01:07:35,218 --> 01:07:36,581
What?
1791
01:07:37,762 --> 01:07:39,846
Nothing.
(CHUCKLES)
1792
01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:41,098
No, what?
1793
01:07:41,099 --> 01:07:42,337
Uh...
1794
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:45,423
I think, um...
1795
01:07:47,772 --> 01:07:51,012
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
1796
01:07:55,530 --> 01:07:59,100
Birdie, you're...
you're amazing.
1797
01:08:19,637 --> 01:08:20,920
Good night.
1798
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:25,417
Good night.
1799
01:08:38,781 --> 01:08:39,781
Holy shit.
1800
01:08:39,782 --> 01:08:41,116
She said she loved me.
1801
01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:42,492
Can you believe that?
1802
01:08:42,493 --> 01:08:44,411
How could she possibly
say that and mean it?
1803
01:08:44,412 --> 01:08:45,829
She loves me?
1804
01:08:45,830 --> 01:08:48,149
And she wants me to meet
her parents on Friday.
1805
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:51,877
El, she doesn't even
know me, this girl.
1806
01:08:51,878 --> 01:08:52,878
Oh, man.
1807
01:08:52,879 --> 01:08:54,588
I am... I am eating ice cream
in the middle of winter.
1808
01:08:54,589 --> 01:08:56,214
I'm quoting Whitman randomly.
1809
01:08:56,215 --> 01:08:57,424
If she thinks this is who I am,
1810
01:08:57,425 --> 01:08:58,717
she's in for a rude awakening.
1811
01:08:58,718 --> 01:09:00,177
That's all I can say.
1812
01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:01,595
I, uh... I got to
write a little bit,
1813
01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:03,460
but if you need me,
I'll be in my room.
1814
01:09:05,350 --> 01:09:06,433
Oh, how am I doing?
1815
01:09:06,434 --> 01:09:08,644
Oh, thanks so much for asking.
1816
01:09:08,645 --> 01:09:11,840
(UP-TEMPO PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)
1817
01:09:18,237 --> 01:09:21,432
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1818
01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:25,193
Oh.
1819
01:09:28,456 --> 01:09:29,456
Hello?
1820
01:09:29,457 --> 01:09:30,624
Morning, sunshine.
1821
01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:31,625
Alan, hey.
1822
01:09:31,626 --> 01:09:32,626
What time is it?
1823
01:09:32,627 --> 01:09:34,044
Listen, it's early,
but I couldn't wait.
1824
01:09:34,045 --> 01:09:35,087
I got those pages you
emailed me last night.
1825
01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:36,296
Oh. Yeah?
1826
01:09:36,297 --> 01:09:37,297
You like?
1827
01:09:37,298 --> 01:09:38,465
I likey very much.
1828
01:09:38,466 --> 01:09:39,800
I likey long time.
1829
01:09:39,801 --> 01:09:40,801
That's why I'm calling.
1830
01:09:40,802 --> 01:09:42,636
I'm calling to see if we
can get a pitch session
1831
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,846
set together to come
up with the ending
1832
01:09:44,847 --> 01:09:46,848
and go over some ideas for it.
1833
01:09:46,849 --> 01:09:48,350
Let's say next Friday at 6:00.
1834
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,686
Oh, uh, actually, you know, I...
1835
01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:52,479
I got this dance recital thing.
1836
01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:53,480
(LAUGHS)
1837
01:09:53,481 --> 01:09:54,481
That's a good one.
1838
01:09:54,482 --> 01:09:56,983
But seriously, how's Friday
gonna be, next Friday?
1839
01:09:56,984 --> 01:09:58,860
Uh, yeah, sure.
1840
01:09:58,861 --> 01:09:59,861
That'll work.
1841
01:09:59,862 --> 01:10:01,655
All right, it's on.
I'm excited.
1842
01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:03,031
That's great. So what
are you doing tonight?
1843
01:10:03,032 --> 01:10:04,032
I'd like to get my guy a beer.
1844
01:10:04,033 --> 01:10:05,200
You know, Alan, I can't.
1845
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:08,704
My... This girl
I've been seeing,
1846
01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:10,539
she's got this surprise
planned for us.
1847
01:10:10,540 --> 01:10:12,249
All right. Listen,
I got to go.
1848
01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:13,375
I got to get back to writing.
1849
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,376
But I'll see you next Friday.
1850
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,169
Okay. I'm psyched up.
I love you, pal.
1851
01:10:16,170 --> 01:10:18,046
I love you too.
1852
01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,631
Triple Xs, triple Os.
1853
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:21,416
You too.
1854
01:10:26,681 --> 01:10:29,057
(SIGHS)
1855
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:30,250
(GRUNTS)
1856
01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:32,728
(CHUCKLES)
I'm so excited.
1857
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:33,729
Me too.
1858
01:10:33,730 --> 01:10:34,896
All right. I'm nervous.
1859
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:37,065
Now, you have to
close your eyes
1860
01:10:37,066 --> 01:10:38,275
till I tell you to open them.
1861
01:10:38,276 --> 01:10:39,484
Really? Yeah.
1862
01:10:39,485 --> 01:10:40,569
Okay.
1863
01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:41,570
I might need some help.
1864
01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:42,571
Yeah. I'll lead you.
1865
01:10:42,572 --> 01:10:43,572
Okay. Sorry.
1866
01:10:43,573 --> 01:10:44,573
All righty.
1867
01:10:44,574 --> 01:10:46,187
Here we go. Walk straight.
1868
01:10:48,953 --> 01:10:50,078
Okay.
1869
01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:51,580
Kay.
1870
01:10:51,581 --> 01:10:52,914
All right. Open 'em.
1871
01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:54,107
Kay.
1872
01:10:55,168 --> 01:10:56,168
Wow.
1873
01:10:56,169 --> 01:10:57,169
Isn't this awesome? Ha!
1874
01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:58,754
My friend works here.
1875
01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:01,590
Had to promise my first...
born child to get the keys,
1876
01:11:01,591 --> 01:11:03,534
but what do you think?
1877
01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:06,386
Those are Andrew Wyeths.
1878
01:11:06,387 --> 01:11:07,387
I know.
1879
01:11:07,388 --> 01:11:08,930
He's my favorite artist.
1880
01:11:08,931 --> 01:11:10,599
Yeah, I know.
1881
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,134
Really? Yeah.
1882
01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:14,770
You know who mine is?
1883
01:11:14,771 --> 01:11:16,521
No.
1884
01:11:16,522 --> 01:11:17,856
I don't have one.
1885
01:11:17,857 --> 01:11:19,049
(CHUCKLES)
1886
01:11:22,403 --> 01:11:25,572
Uh... Do you want some bourbon?
1887
01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:27,574
No, I'm good.
1888
01:11:27,575 --> 01:11:28,983
Really? Just a toast?
1889
01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:30,327
To what?
1890
01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:32,738
I don't know. To us.
1891
01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:36,541
Do you have anything
besides bourbon?
1892
01:11:36,542 --> 01:11:37,542
No, no.
1893
01:11:37,543 --> 01:11:38,960
This is all I have.
1894
01:11:38,961 --> 01:11:40,045
Ah.
1895
01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:41,864
Yeah, no. I'm good.
1896
01:11:44,467 --> 01:11:45,659
That's crazy.
1897
01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:48,996
My mom used to wear her hair
in braids just like this.
1898
01:11:54,101 --> 01:11:56,715
They call these the, uh...
the Helga paintings.
1899
01:11:57,980 --> 01:11:59,815
Andrew's wife walked
into his studio one day
1900
01:11:59,816 --> 01:12:03,853
and found, like, 240 paintings
of this other woman.
1901
01:12:04,904 --> 01:12:07,518
Turns out it was their
next-door neighbor Helga.
1902
01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:10,601
Well, life's a bitch.
1903
01:12:12,578 --> 01:12:13,578
(SIGHS)
1904
01:12:13,579 --> 01:12:15,397
God, I wish I could
paint like that.
1905
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:18,500
I bet you could.
1906
01:12:18,501 --> 01:12:19,584
You're so talented.
1907
01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:21,028
(LAUGHING)
Oh, okay.
1908
01:12:24,799 --> 01:12:26,383
Are you, uh... are you hungry?
1909
01:12:26,384 --> 01:12:27,759
You want some food?
1910
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,203
I just ate. It's okay.
1911
01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:35,084
Sam, what's going on?
1912
01:12:38,187 --> 01:12:39,396
What do you mean?
1913
01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:41,886
Do you want to be
here right now?
1914
01:12:43,025 --> 01:12:44,693
What are you talking about?
1915
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:47,487
Okay, I'm... I'm just
starting to feel
1916
01:12:47,488 --> 01:12:49,114
like some annoying
girl you just met
1917
01:12:49,115 --> 01:12:50,808
that you're trying
to get rid of.
1918
01:12:52,827 --> 01:12:56,204
I-I-I have a lot of shit
on my mind, is all.
1919
01:12:56,205 --> 01:12:58,569
But I'm making a lot of
headway with my writing.
1920
01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:01,126
Really good stuff.
1921
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:02,210
That Teen Vampire 2?
1922
01:13:02,211 --> 01:13:03,253
(CHUCKLES)
1923
01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:04,796
(CHUCKLES)
1924
01:13:04,797 --> 01:13:05,797
Is that what you think?
1925
01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:08,300
You think... you think I'm
a hack writer, don't you?
1926
01:13:08,301 --> 01:13:09,801
No.
1927
01:13:09,802 --> 01:13:11,210
No, no. God.
1928
01:13:11,888 --> 01:13:13,126
No, that's not what I meant.
1929
01:13:13,890 --> 01:13:15,207
It's all right. I get it.
1930
01:13:18,311 --> 01:13:21,396
You know, I... I kind of
prefer this to the Wyeths.
1931
01:13:21,397 --> 01:13:25,317
Is this because I-I
told you that I...
1932
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:27,569
you know, about what I
said the other night?
1933
01:13:27,570 --> 01:13:28,570
Come on.
1934
01:13:28,571 --> 01:13:30,196
I see what's going on here.
1935
01:13:30,197 --> 01:13:33,408
It's a little weird,
don't you think?
1936
01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:34,910
I mean, you invite me
to this private viewing
1937
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:36,661
of your favorite
artist's paintings
1938
01:13:36,662 --> 01:13:37,913
with your favorite liquor
1939
01:13:37,914 --> 01:13:39,789
and your favorite bread
and your favorite cheese.
1940
01:13:39,790 --> 01:13:41,750
If you're not into it,
we don't have to...
1941
01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:42,751
No, no, no.
1942
01:13:42,752 --> 01:13:43,752
I get it, okay?
1943
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,630
I'm... I'm meat loaf, and you
want fucking filet mignon.
1944
01:13:46,631 --> 01:13:48,173
What are you even
talking about?
1945
01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:50,300
I'm exhausted!
1946
01:13:50,301 --> 01:13:52,594
The rock climbing, the
guitar, and the cooking...
1947
01:13:52,595 --> 01:13:53,678
The cooking?
1948
01:13:53,679 --> 01:13:55,138
I'm just trying to keep
up with you, Birdie,
1949
01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:56,139
and it's not easy.
1950
01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:57,140
Okay, no.
1951
01:13:57,141 --> 01:13:58,516
I don't want you to
keep up with me, okay?
1952
01:13:58,517 --> 01:13:59,726
That... none of that
stuffs important to me.
1953
01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:00,727
Can I tell you something?
1954
01:14:00,728 --> 01:14:02,270
Honestly, I think you're
better off with someone else.
1955
01:14:02,271 --> 01:14:05,774
Like Tony... outgoing,
talented, worldly.
1956
01:14:05,775 --> 01:14:06,942
He's... he's perfect for you.
1957
01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:08,693
What? No.
1958
01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:10,362
Tony is my friend, okay?
1959
01:14:10,363 --> 01:14:12,697
Dating the guy was a
complete nightmare.
1960
01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:14,240
You're being ridiculous.
1961
01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:15,450
Am I really?
1962
01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:17,452
Who's my favorite author?
1963
01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:19,579
I don't... I don't know.
1964
01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:20,705
Carlos Castaneda?
1965
01:14:20,706 --> 01:14:22,999
No. What's my
favorite dessert?
1966
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:24,250
(SCOFFS)
I don't know.
1967
01:14:24,251 --> 01:14:25,251
Why don't you tell me?
1968
01:14:25,252 --> 01:14:26,878
See, don't you
think it's strange
1969
01:14:26,879 --> 01:14:28,964
that y... y... you don't
know those things?
1970
01:14:28,965 --> 01:14:31,508
Uh, no.
1971
01:14:31,509 --> 01:14:32,701
Honestly, no.
1972
01:14:33,810 --> 01:14:35,971
There's a lot of stuff you
don't know about me, either.
1973
01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:37,138
But what's the point?
1974
01:14:37,139 --> 01:14:38,390
We are so different.
1975
01:14:38,391 --> 01:14:39,799
There... there's too much...
1976
01:14:41,268 --> 01:14:42,268
I've barely traveled,
1977
01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:44,104
and you're like a fucking
Peace Corps veteran.
1978
01:14:44,105 --> 01:14:45,146
I don't even know...
1979
01:14:45,147 --> 01:14:47,649
What do you see in me, huh?
1980
01:14:47,650 --> 01:14:49,609
And what's to say you won't
just take off and leave
1981
01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:50,610
whenever you want?
1982
01:14:50,611 --> 01:14:52,654
That is kind of your
philosophy, right?
1983
01:14:52,655 --> 01:14:53,947
When life gives you
something better,
1984
01:14:53,948 --> 01:14:55,516
you just... you take off.
1985
01:14:58,077 --> 01:14:59,269
Right?
1986
01:15:01,163 --> 01:15:02,163
That's what you think?
1987
01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:04,207
You think I'm just
waiting around
1988
01:15:04,208 --> 01:15:05,417
till something
better comes along?
1989
01:15:05,418 --> 01:15:07,202
Well, I don't know.
You tell me.
1990
01:15:11,465 --> 01:15:15,510
That was the first time
1991
01:15:15,511 --> 01:15:17,545
I've ever told a guy
that I love him.
1992
01:15:20,099 --> 01:15:21,891
Do you know how
shitty it was for me
1993
01:15:21,892 --> 01:15:23,226
to get that response from you?
1994
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:25,353
So why are you here?
1995
01:15:25,354 --> 01:15:28,674
Because, idiot...
1996
01:15:29,734 --> 01:15:33,812
I like you, whether you
choose to believe it or not.
1997
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:38,324
So if you don't think that I
know you because I don't know
1998
01:15:38,325 --> 01:15:41,453
what your fucking favorite
dessert is, then please tell me
1999
01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:42,746
so I can stop imagining
2000
01:15:42,747 --> 01:15:44,531
that this might
actually go somewhere.
2001
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:51,713
♪ One more drink
fore I split town ♪
2002
01:15:51,714 --> 01:15:55,133
♪ Pulled up in a
rose-pink Cadillac ♪
2003
01:15:55,134 --> 01:15:58,553
♪ He was singing with the top
down Girl from the North ♪
2004
01:15:58,554 --> 01:16:01,222
♪ Dylan and Johnny Cash ♪
2005
01:16:01,223 --> 01:16:03,099
♪ He won the car
in a card game ♪
2006
01:16:03,100 --> 01:16:04,142
♪ Listened to the boss ♪
2007
01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:07,228
♪ And keeps his clothes
in a gunnysack ♪
2008
01:16:07,229 --> 01:16:08,897
"♪ She said, " Tell
you what, sailor ♪
2009
01:16:08,898 --> 01:16:13,443
♪ "If you take me out of here,
I'll do anything that you ask ♪
2010
01:16:13,444 --> 01:16:16,404
♪ 'Cause I don't want to die
like the people down here ♪
2011
01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:19,224
"♪ but I feel that
I'm fading fast" ♪
2012
01:16:24,163 --> 01:16:27,040
♪ And he looked over
to her chestnut hair ♪
2013
01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:30,585
♪ And said, "I don't
believe in love" ♪
2014
01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:33,630
♪ But he knew good and well
she was the only girl there ♪
2015
01:16:33,631 --> 01:16:34,756
♪ So he figured it
was close enough ♪
2016
01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:36,424
Hey! Hey! Hold it!
2017
01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:38,960
Hold it! Fuck! Hey!
2018
01:16:40,805 --> 01:16:42,122
Thank you.
2019
01:16:47,353 --> 01:16:48,887
Hi. How are you? I have an...
2020
01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:52,774
There he is. Alan.
2021
01:16:52,775 --> 01:16:53,983
The writing machine. Hey.
2022
01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:54,984
How you doing? Good.
2023
01:16:54,985 --> 01:16:56,736
I'm surprised you got any
blood in those fingers
2024
01:16:56,737 --> 01:16:58,404
after all the writing
you've been doing.
2025
01:16:58,405 --> 01:16:59,405
Yeah.
2026
01:16:59,406 --> 01:17:00,406
Get yourself in here. Okay.
2027
01:17:00,407 --> 01:17:01,407
You know my partner, Scott.
2028
01:17:01,408 --> 01:17:02,408
Yes. We spoke on the phone.
2029
01:17:02,409 --> 01:17:03,618
How are you? So
nice to meet you.
2030
01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:04,828
Yeah. Welcome. Sit down.
Thank you.
2031
01:17:04,829 --> 01:17:06,121
I like the man bag.
2032
01:17:06,122 --> 01:17:07,122
Oh, thanks, Alan.
2033
01:17:07,123 --> 01:17:08,289
I like what it says about you.
2034
01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:09,290
Yeah?
2035
01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:10,708
Hope there's a couple
more gems in that one.
2036
01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:11,709
Well, me too.
2037
01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:13,878
Help yourself to a
pastry, a little fruit.
2038
01:17:13,879 --> 01:17:14,879
No, thank you.
2039
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,381
Why don't you knock
out a cantaloupe?
2040
01:17:16,382 --> 01:17:17,757
You've been writing, cooped up.
2041
01:17:17,758 --> 01:17:19,134
It's got some
micronutrients in it.
2042
01:17:19,135 --> 01:17:20,969
Knock a cantaloupe out.
2043
01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:21,970
Okay.
2044
01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:23,429
Yeah.
2045
01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:24,430
Pop it in there.
2046
01:17:24,431 --> 01:17:25,794
Eat it.
2047
01:17:28,561 --> 01:17:30,979
Okay, so as an
overall, general note,
2048
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:33,523
the stream-of-consciousness
narration's working great.
2049
01:17:33,524 --> 01:17:34,649
Great.
2050
01:17:34,650 --> 01:17:37,610
It is very clear that
this guy is beyond lost
2051
01:17:37,611 --> 01:17:41,990
and has no clue how to navigate
his own obtuse actions.
2052
01:17:41,991 --> 01:17:43,074
Okay, but what I like is,
2053
01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:45,994
he doesn't understand how the
real world works... Right.
2054
01:17:45,995 --> 01:17:48,163
And he's too afraid to show
himself to the real world,
2055
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,831
and these are the seeds
of his own undoing.
2056
01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:52,125
Oh, I don't... He's a child.
Yes.
2057
01:17:52,126 --> 01:17:54,002
He's wandering alone
in the woods, right,
2058
01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:56,171
lost in the ether of
his own neuroses.
2059
01:17:56,172 --> 01:17:58,423
And this is powerful stuff.
Yeah.
2060
01:17:58,424 --> 01:17:59,841
He's saying you wrote
the perfect pussy.
2061
01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:01,593
The perfect pussy? Yeah,
the perfect pussy.
2062
01:18:01,594 --> 01:18:03,595
Now, around chapter 12... and
I'm sorry to interrupt...
2063
01:18:03,596 --> 01:18:06,806
but it's at this point in the
story that it's pretty obvious
2064
01:18:06,807 --> 01:18:08,683
that I completely
side with the girl.
2065
01:18:08,684 --> 01:18:10,894
See, for me, it's
more around 11 or 10.
2066
01:18:10,895 --> 01:18:12,353
With the girl?
Are you kidding?
2067
01:18:12,354 --> 01:18:13,521
Well, I think what
you do is great,
2068
01:18:13,522 --> 01:18:14,856
'cause you have a protagonist,
2069
01:18:14,857 --> 01:18:18,109
and then you, like a relay race,
hand off the baton and say,
2070
01:18:18,110 --> 01:18:19,110
"Now we're gonna
root for this girl."
2071
01:18:19,111 --> 01:18:20,361
And I think you do it
in a way that's elegant
2072
01:18:20,362 --> 01:18:23,031
but, at the same
time, not subtle.
2073
01:18:23,032 --> 01:18:25,783
Yeah, and if I may, like,
how do you not love her?
2074
01:18:25,784 --> 01:18:28,536
And he is such a
spineless, pathetic...
2075
01:18:28,537 --> 01:18:29,537
He's a eunuch, is what he is.
2076
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:30,955
That's exactly... You
know what I'm saying?
2077
01:18:30,956 --> 01:18:33,124
And I don't mean it literally,
'cause, clearly, they have...
2078
01:18:33,125 --> 01:18:35,418
there's scenes between 'em that
we know what we're talking about,
2079
01:18:35,419 --> 01:18:37,420
but he's a eunuch in
more ways than one.
2080
01:18:37,421 --> 01:18:39,422
I, uh... So the point is...
2081
01:18:39,423 --> 01:18:40,423
Do you feel what I'm
saying, though?
2082
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:41,424
I do. So okay.
2083
01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:43,551
How would this
metaphorical "eunuch"
2084
01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:44,761
be at all redeemable
in her eyes?
2085
01:18:44,762 --> 01:18:45,762
Hold on, guys.
2086
01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:46,763
All due respect,
2087
01:18:46,764 --> 01:18:49,098
this was not my intention when
I wrote the story at all.
2088
01:18:49,099 --> 01:18:50,391
This was not what
I was going for.
2089
01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:51,392
Come again?
2090
01:18:51,393 --> 01:18:54,854
Well, I mean, she's so carried
away with this whole thing.
2091
01:18:54,855 --> 01:18:56,147
She's the one that
puts pressure on it.
2092
01:18:56,148 --> 01:18:57,565
She... she makes it heavy.
2093
01:18:57,566 --> 01:18:58,566
No.
2094
01:18:58,567 --> 01:18:59,567
What... how can you say that?
2095
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:00,902
There's no real
connection between them.
2096
01:19:00,903 --> 01:19:01,903
It's not his fault.
2097
01:19:01,904 --> 01:19:02,904
No connection?
They were in love.
2098
01:19:02,905 --> 01:19:04,572
He just wasn't cognizant
enough to see it.
2099
01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:06,074
Exactly, and now all she can do
2100
01:19:06,075 --> 01:19:08,451
is accept the fact that
he's completely inept.
2101
01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:09,911
That's right. He had it.
2102
01:19:09,912 --> 01:19:13,456
He lost it because he suffocated
her with his own fear.
2103
01:19:13,457 --> 01:19:15,166
In the end, I mean,
it's obvious
2104
01:19:15,167 --> 01:19:17,585
that it can only be one thing,
2105
01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:20,326
and that's that he's
destined to be alone.
2106
01:19:20,999 --> 01:19:22,840
And it's really honest,
and it's really simple.
2107
01:19:22,841 --> 01:19:24,092
Uh-huh.
2108
01:19:24,093 --> 01:19:25,551
He's cut everyone out.
2109
01:19:25,552 --> 01:19:27,345
He's gonna continue to do that.
2110
01:19:27,346 --> 01:19:29,138
It's not like he's gonna get
over his issues with his mom
2111
01:19:29,139 --> 01:19:30,598
and all that stuff.
2112
01:19:30,599 --> 01:19:32,350
He's giving up on
something great.
2113
01:19:32,351 --> 01:19:34,310
He's gonna spend the
rest of his life
2114
01:19:34,311 --> 01:19:37,397
crippled by the fact that he
wasn't able to show her love.
2115
01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:39,357
And if he did wake up,
2116
01:19:39,358 --> 01:19:41,317
it would be a lot of substances
and a lot of years later.
2117
01:19:41,318 --> 01:19:42,485
Mm-hmm.
2118
01:19:42,486 --> 01:19:44,404
And at that point, she would
have banged half of Manhattan,
2119
01:19:44,405 --> 01:19:46,406
so he wouldn't want her anyway,
So romance or no romance,
2120
01:19:46,407 --> 01:19:47,657
it's... it's over with.
2121
01:19:47,658 --> 01:19:49,158
Yeah.
2122
01:19:49,159 --> 01:19:52,354
(TANGO MUSIC PLAYING)
2123
01:20:03,465 --> 01:20:05,800
That was insane!
2124
01:20:05,801 --> 01:20:08,803
Mercedes and Roberto!
2125
01:20:08,804 --> 01:20:10,121
(APPLAUSE)
2126
01:20:12,850 --> 01:20:14,884
Hey! Taxi!
2127
01:20:15,477 --> 01:20:18,672
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
2128
01:20:25,279 --> 01:20:26,863
You better hang on to
your oxygen tanks,
2129
01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:27,864
ladies and gentlemen,
2130
01:20:27,865 --> 01:20:31,409
because up next, we
have Henry and Harriet.
2131
01:20:31,410 --> 01:20:34,775
(APPLAUSE)
2132
01:20:53,849 --> 01:20:55,350
Cookie and Fritz, everybody!
2133
01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:56,351
Cookie and Fritz!
2134
01:20:56,352 --> 01:20:57,602
One more time!
2135
01:20:57,603 --> 01:20:59,645
We only have a few couples left.
2136
01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:03,024
On deck, the lovely
Birdie and her companion,
2137
01:21:03,025 --> 01:21:05,026
the delectable Raymond.
2138
01:21:05,027 --> 01:21:07,695
But first, Earl and Sally,
2139
01:21:07,696 --> 01:21:10,106
or, as they're known
collectively...
2140
01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:12,433
Wow Factor.
2141
01:21:32,143 --> 01:21:34,263
What are you guys doing here?
What are you doing here?
2142
01:21:34,264 --> 01:21:35,598
We came to watch Birdie dance.
2143
01:21:35,599 --> 01:21:36,808
Where is she?
She's over there.
2144
01:21:36,809 --> 01:21:37,850
She's about to go on.
2145
01:21:37,851 --> 01:21:38,976
Okay.
2146
01:21:38,977 --> 01:21:39,977
Give me your stuff.
Give me your stuff.
2147
01:21:39,978 --> 01:21:40,978
Okay.
2148
01:21:40,979 --> 01:21:41,979
Get yourself together.
2149
01:21:41,980 --> 01:21:42,980
Oh, my God. You look crazy.
2150
01:21:42,981 --> 01:21:43,981
Huh?
2151
01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:45,274
Oh, shoot.
2152
01:21:45,275 --> 01:21:46,734
Okay. Good?
2153
01:21:46,735 --> 01:21:48,361
Get in there.
2154
01:21:48,362 --> 01:21:49,362
How are you guys doing?
2155
01:21:49,363 --> 01:21:50,363
We're... we're great.
2156
01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:51,781
Yeah. We're... we're
compromising.
2157
01:21:51,782 --> 01:21:53,116
Compromising.
2158
01:21:53,117 --> 01:21:54,117
That's great.
2159
01:21:54,118 --> 01:21:55,159
That's so good.
2160
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:56,160
Get in there.
2161
01:21:56,161 --> 01:21:58,195
All right. Okay.
2162
01:22:00,457 --> 01:22:02,417
Birdie.
2163
01:22:02,418 --> 01:22:04,252
Hi.
2164
01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:05,670
Hi.
2165
01:22:05,671 --> 01:22:07,463
You look amazing.
2166
01:22:07,464 --> 01:22:09,507
Where... where are your parents?
2167
01:22:09,508 --> 01:22:12,093
Um, I... I called them off.
2168
01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:14,220
I didn't think you were coming.
2169
01:22:14,221 --> 01:22:16,085
Right. Sorry.
2170
01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:19,183
Can we go somewhere for
a second and just talk?
2171
01:22:19,184 --> 01:22:20,627
Can I-I need to...
2172
01:22:23,605 --> 01:22:25,969
We can talk right here.
2173
01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:31,446
I love you.
2174
01:22:31,447 --> 01:22:33,573
Oh, Sam, you... you
don't have to...
2175
01:22:33,574 --> 01:22:34,657
I know. I know.
2176
01:22:34,658 --> 01:22:35,658
But I-I do.
2177
01:22:35,659 --> 01:22:36,817
I am in love with you.
2178
01:22:37,453 --> 01:22:39,328
I love you so much.
2179
01:22:39,329 --> 01:22:41,789
It feels really good to say.
2180
01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:44,459
I'm sorry I didn't say it the
other day, but I didn't know
2181
01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:45,626
if I knew in the right way,
2182
01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:47,962
but now I know that I-I-I
knew in every way.
2183
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:48,963
I knew it.
2184
01:22:48,964 --> 01:22:49,964
I know it, you know?
2185
01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:50,965
(SIGHS)
2186
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:52,341
Does that make any sense?
2187
01:22:52,342 --> 01:22:54,051
Not really.
2188
01:22:54,052 --> 01:22:55,745
Okay, wait.
2189
01:22:56,430 --> 01:23:01,142
The guy that you fell
in love with... You.
2190
01:23:01,143 --> 01:23:04,479
No, the guy who, like, plays
guitar and likes pedicures
2191
01:23:04,480 --> 01:23:07,482
and is thinking about
getting a tattoo...
2192
01:23:07,483 --> 01:23:09,517
that's not entirely who I am.
2193
01:23:12,863 --> 01:23:16,991
I based all of that
on your Facebook page
2194
01:23:16,992 --> 01:23:19,686
because I-I wanted to
be your ideal guy.
2195
01:23:20,621 --> 01:23:22,064
(SNIFFLES)
2196
01:23:24,208 --> 01:23:26,167
I know.
2197
01:23:26,168 --> 01:23:27,335
What?
2198
01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:28,920
I know.
2199
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:32,507
You're not exactly the most
subtle guy in the world, Sam.
2200
01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:34,008
You knew the whole time?
2201
01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:35,343
Yeah.
2202
01:23:35,344 --> 01:23:37,345
The Origin of Species?
Come on.
2203
01:23:37,346 --> 01:23:38,346
I'm sorry.
2204
01:23:38,347 --> 01:23:40,723
I didn't want to put
myself out there
2205
01:23:40,724 --> 01:23:42,183
and not have a connection.
2206
01:23:42,184 --> 01:23:43,392
I was so afraid.
2207
01:23:43,393 --> 01:23:44,810
But it's there.
2208
01:23:44,811 --> 01:23:46,219
It's been there the whole time.
2209
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,221
Can we please start
over, Birdie?
2210
01:23:51,401 --> 01:23:56,155
♪ With every passing day ♪
2211
01:23:56,156 --> 01:23:58,282
♪ I'll be ♪
2212
01:23:58,283 --> 01:23:59,817
No.
2213
01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:06,741
But we can pick up
where we left off.
2214
01:24:08,877 --> 01:24:10,920
(SIGHS)
2215
01:24:10,921 --> 01:24:12,580
Oh, thank you.
2216
01:24:16,301 --> 01:24:18,886
I can't believe you knew
about the profile thing,
2217
01:24:18,887 --> 01:24:19,887
and you didn't tell me.
2218
01:24:19,888 --> 01:24:21,556
Yeah, I even... I even started
putting stuff on there
2219
01:24:21,557 --> 01:24:22,557
just to see if you would do it.
2220
01:24:22,558 --> 01:24:23,891
Are you kidding?
2221
01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:24,892
No. Like the rock climbing?
2222
01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:25,893
What? Yeah.
2223
01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:28,145
That was the worst!
2224
01:24:28,146 --> 01:24:29,272
You're the worst!
(LAUGHS)
2225
01:24:29,273 --> 01:24:30,439
Hey, can I tell you
something now?
2226
01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:31,899
I should come clean with this.
2227
01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:32,942
I was actually making up
2228
01:24:32,943 --> 01:24:35,069
the whole male a
cappella group thing.
2229
01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,404
Mm.
2230
01:24:36,405 --> 01:24:37,488
Nice try.
2231
01:24:37,489 --> 01:24:39,023
(CHUCKLES)
2232
01:24:48,625 --> 01:24:49,625
Ladies and gentlemen,
2233
01:24:49,626 --> 01:24:51,627
I believe we have a change
in the roster this evening.
2234
01:24:51,628 --> 01:24:52,878
Scratch Raymond.
2235
01:24:52,879 --> 01:24:53,879
(INHALES SHARPLY)
2236
01:24:53,880 --> 01:24:57,871
This dance will
be Birdie and...
2237
01:24:58,635 --> 01:25:00,294
Whoever you are.
2238
01:25:01,305 --> 01:25:02,713
May I have this dance?
2239
01:25:03,932 --> 01:25:05,182
Yes.
2240
01:25:05,183 --> 01:25:07,059
What the fuck?
2241
01:25:07,060 --> 01:25:09,478
Oh, Raymond, I'm so sorry.
2242
01:25:09,479 --> 01:25:11,147
Let me explain.
2243
01:25:11,148 --> 01:25:13,399
My girlfriend didn't know I
was coming to this thing
2244
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:15,443
'cause I'm kind of a jackass.
2245
01:25:15,444 --> 01:25:17,320
You better watch out.
2246
01:25:17,321 --> 01:25:21,574
If you ever leave her side
again, I'm swooping in!
2247
01:25:21,575 --> 01:25:23,143
Don't worry about that.
2248
01:25:34,129 --> 01:25:37,131
(THE MORNING BENDERS' EXCUSES PLAYING)
2249
01:25:37,132 --> 01:25:40,327
(DRAMATIC ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)
2250
01:25:42,763 --> 01:25:44,001
So...
2251
01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:46,682
Did you finish your book?
2252
01:25:46,683 --> 01:25:47,875
Almost.
2253
01:25:48,977 --> 01:25:51,020
But I think the ending's
about to change.
2254
01:25:51,021 --> 01:25:55,137
♪ You tried to taste me ♪
2255
01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:01,155
♪ And I taped my tongue ♪
2256
01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:05,660
♪ To the southern
tip of your body ♪
2257
01:26:05,661 --> 01:26:11,825
♪ But bones are too
heavy to come up ♪
2258
01:26:13,502 --> 01:26:21,502
♪ Squished into a
single cell of wood ♪
2259
01:26:22,052 --> 01:26:26,043
♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
2260
01:26:28,517 --> 01:26:33,680
♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah ♪
2261
01:26:35,899 --> 01:26:41,221
♪ And I made an excuse ♪
2262
01:26:43,365 --> 01:26:46,867
♪ And you found another way ♪
2263
01:26:46,868 --> 01:26:48,902
♪ To tell the truth ♪
2264
01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:56,949
♪ I put no one else above us ♪
2265
01:26:58,714 --> 01:27:01,841
♪ We'll still be
best friends ♪
2266
01:27:01,842 --> 01:27:07,179
♪ When all turns to dust ♪
2267
01:27:07,180 --> 01:27:11,126
♪ Dust ♪
2268
01:27:13,729 --> 01:27:19,268
♪ Dust ♪
2269
01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:24,488
♪ Dum, da-dum ♪
2270
01:27:24,489 --> 01:27:27,992
♪ Da-dum ♪
2271
01:27:27,993 --> 01:27:30,035
♪ Da-da, dum ♪
2272
01:27:30,036 --> 01:27:35,291
♪ Da-dum ♪
2273
01:27:35,292 --> 01:27:37,251
♪ Da-da, dum ♪
2274
01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:42,339
♪ Da-dum ♪
2275
01:27:42,340 --> 01:27:44,467
♪ Da-da, dum ♪
2276
01:27:44,468 --> 01:27:48,095
♪ Da-dum ♪
2277
01:27:48,096 --> 01:27:49,764
♪ Da-dum ♪ ♪ Da-da-da, da-da ♪
2278
01:27:49,765 --> 01:27:51,766
♪ Da-da, dum ♪
2279
01:27:51,767 --> 01:27:55,311
♪ Da-dum ♪
2280
01:27:55,312 --> 01:27:56,729
♪ Da-dum ♪ ♪ Da-da-da, da-da ♪
2281
01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:57,772
♪ Da-da, dum ♪
2282
01:27:57,773 --> 01:28:02,568
♪ Da, da, da, da ♪
2283
01:28:02,569 --> 01:28:04,111
♪ Da-dum ♪
2284
01:28:04,112 --> 01:28:05,112
♪ Da-da, dum ♪
2285
01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:08,979
♪ Da, da, da, da ♪
2286
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:16,032
♪ We are so smooth now ♪
2287
01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:19,168
♪ Da-da-da, da-da da, da ♪
2288
01:28:19,169 --> 01:28:22,129
♪ Our edges are beaten ♪
2289
01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:25,049
♪ Driftwood whittled down ♪
2290
01:28:25,050 --> 01:28:27,176
♪ Da-da-da, da-da da, da ♪
2291
01:28:27,177 --> 01:28:29,428
♪ Old bodies slip ♪
2292
01:28:29,429 --> 01:28:32,640
♪ When they make love ♪
2293
01:28:32,641 --> 01:28:34,433
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2294
01:28:34,434 --> 01:28:37,102
♪ We'll mine our sparks ♪
2295
01:28:37,103 --> 01:28:42,983
♪ To shoot us above ♪
2296
01:28:42,984 --> 01:28:46,930
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2297
01:28:49,115 --> 01:28:54,437
♪ Above ♪
2298
01:28:55,330 --> 01:28:56,872
♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da, da ♪
2299
01:28:56,873 --> 01:29:02,586
♪ Above ♪
2300
01:29:02,587 --> 01:29:04,380
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2301
01:29:04,381 --> 01:29:10,177
♪ Above ♪
2302
01:29:10,178 --> 01:29:11,846
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2303
01:29:11,847 --> 01:29:17,726
♪ Above ♪
2304
01:29:17,727 --> 01:29:19,353
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2305
01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:25,276
♪ Above ♪
2306
01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:27,444
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2307
01:29:27,445 --> 01:29:28,696
♪ Dum ♪
2308
01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,658
♪ Da-dum ♪
2309
01:29:32,659 --> 01:29:34,326
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2310
01:29:34,327 --> 01:29:36,120
♪ Da-dum ♪
2311
01:29:36,121 --> 01:29:40,207
♪ Da-dum ♪
2312
01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:41,834
♪ Da-da-da, da-da, da, da ♪
2313
01:29:41,835 --> 01:29:43,699
♪ Da-dum ♪
2314
01:29:56,725 --> 01:30:00,019
(MUSIC FADES)
2315
01:30:00,020 --> 01:30:04,064
(MEN VOCALIZING)
2316
01:30:04,065 --> 01:30:05,190
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
2317
01:30:05,191 --> 01:30:06,191
♪ Doo-doo-bop ♪
2318
01:30:06,192 --> 01:30:08,068
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop,
dun-dun-dun-dun-dun ♪
2319
01:30:08,069 --> 01:30:09,862
♪ New love is a-coming ♪
2320
01:30:09,863 --> 01:30:11,822
♪ Wine and roses all the way ♪
2321
01:30:11,823 --> 01:30:13,782
♪ Little girl, stop crying ♪
2322
01:30:13,783 --> 01:30:15,451
♪ I will take
your blues away ♪
2323
01:30:15,452 --> 01:30:17,745
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2324
01:30:17,746 --> 01:30:19,413
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
2325
01:30:19,414 --> 01:30:21,665
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2326
01:30:21,666 --> 01:30:23,584
♪ I'll be true to you ♪
2327
01:30:23,585 --> 01:30:25,628
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop
doo-doo-bop ♪
2328
01:30:25,629 --> 01:30:26,545
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
2329
01:30:26,546 --> 01:30:27,546
♪ Um-bum-bum-bum-bum ♪
2330
01:30:27,547 --> 01:30:29,423
♪ New love is a-coming ♪
2331
01:30:29,424 --> 01:30:31,467
♪ Kiss me, honey,
wear my ring ♪
2332
01:30:31,468 --> 01:30:33,427
♪ You know I've been smiling ♪
2333
01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:35,262
♪ Pleasantries are
on the wing ♪
2334
01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:37,264
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2335
01:30:37,265 --> 01:30:39,058
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
2336
01:30:39,059 --> 01:30:41,268
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2337
01:30:41,269 --> 01:30:43,187
♪ I'll be true to you ♪
2338
01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:45,189
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop
doo-doo-bop ♪
2339
01:30:45,190 --> 01:30:46,190
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
2340
01:30:46,191 --> 01:30:47,191
♪ Um-bum-bum-bum-bum ♪
2341
01:30:47,192 --> 01:30:49,068
♪ New love is a-coming ♪
2342
01:30:49,069 --> 01:30:51,070
♪ Kiss me, honey,
wear my ring ♪
2343
01:30:51,071 --> 01:30:52,947
♪ You know I've been smiling ♪
2344
01:30:52,948 --> 01:30:54,782
♪ Pleasantries are
on the wing ♪
2345
01:30:54,783 --> 01:30:56,909
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2346
01:30:56,910 --> 01:30:58,661
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
2347
01:30:58,662 --> 01:31:00,871
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2348
01:31:00,872 --> 01:31:02,790
♪ I'll be true to you ♪
2349
01:31:02,791 --> 01:31:04,792
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop
doo-doo-bop ♪
2350
01:31:04,793 --> 01:31:05,793
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
2351
01:31:05,794 --> 01:31:06,794
♪ Um-bum-bum-bum-bum ♪
2352
01:31:06,795 --> 01:31:08,712
♪ New love is a-coming ♪
2353
01:31:08,713 --> 01:31:10,673
♪ Wine and roses all the way ♪
2354
01:31:10,674 --> 01:31:12,716
♪ Little girl, stop crying ♪
2355
01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:14,301
♪ I will take
your blues away ♪
2356
01:31:14,302 --> 01:31:16,595
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2357
01:31:16,596 --> 01:31:18,263
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
2358
01:31:18,264 --> 01:31:20,474
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
2359
01:31:20,475 --> 01:31:22,309
♪ I'll be true to you ♪
2360
01:31:22,310 --> 01:31:26,438
♪ Doo-dun, doo-dun,
doo-doo, doo, doo-dun ♪
2361
01:31:26,439 --> 01:31:28,232
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop
doo-doo-wop ♪
2362
01:31:28,233 --> 01:31:29,596
♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop ♪
165063
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