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1
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:08,359
Love is so great that
it's almost unreal.
2
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,864
I feel bad for the
people who can't find it.
3
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:18,161
We've all met those types who try to convince
their coworkers that they're fine without it.
4
00:01:18,162 --> 00:01:19,988
Then you take a look at their cubicle...
5
00:01:19,989 --> 00:01:22,282
and see heart-shaped
frames all over their desk...
6
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:25,086
with pictures of their
three-legged cat named Bob.
7
00:01:26,171 --> 00:01:29,173
Not me! Not anymore.
8
00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:31,469
I've paid my dues.
9
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:37,267
Old people always say: "When
you meet the one you'll know".
10
00:01:37,268 --> 00:01:38,684
They're right.
11
00:01:38,685 --> 00:01:41,562
When I met Richard...
12
00:01:41,563 --> 00:01:43,190
It felt like...
13
00:01:43,191 --> 00:01:45,359
It felt like the butterflies in
my belly dusted off their cobwebs...
14
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,695
and started fluttering again.
15
00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:52,783
He was the one, my only one.
16
00:02:07,091 --> 00:02:09,385
Oh, my God.
17
00:02:12,263 --> 00:02:14,473
Oh, my God!
18
00:02:16,268 --> 00:02:18,895
Oh, my God!
19
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:26,279
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
20
00:02:27,865 --> 00:02:29,575
Oh, my God!
21
00:02:30,201 --> 00:02:32,661
Oh, my God!
22
00:02:43,674 --> 00:02:47,176
No, no! I don't get it!
23
00:02:47,177 --> 00:02:48,762
Hey, wait!
24
00:02:49,472 --> 00:02:51,098
Are you guys hiring?
25
00:02:51,099 --> 00:02:52,892
Because no one cares about love anymore...
26
00:02:52,893 --> 00:02:56,061
so why don't you just have sex
and get paid for it, you know?
27
00:02:56,062 --> 00:03:00,983
Oh, come on! Who cares if my vagina
falls off from all the diseases out there?
28
00:03:00,984 --> 00:03:03,570
I'll take some open sores.
29
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,698
Ooooh! Do you want some of this?
30
00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:10,886
Come on! I got what it takes.
31
00:03:10,887 --> 00:03:13,873
- Shit.
- No? Okay.
32
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:30,182
Oh, my God!
33
00:03:30,183 --> 00:03:33,470
I cannot get last night out of my head!
34
00:03:33,471 --> 00:03:37,190
Richard, Richard and that little...
35
00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:42,696
Wait, what was her name?
36
00:03:42,697 --> 00:03:45,276
Oh, yeah. Whore.
37
00:03:45,277 --> 00:03:47,868
Hi, baby. I'm home!
38
00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:51,373
They paid me 200 bucks to take
a picture of a pink poodle.
39
00:03:54,794 --> 00:03:58,171
Richard? Is this mushu still good?
40
00:04:09,694 --> 00:04:11,312
Good...
Hey, baby.
41
00:04:11,313 --> 00:04:13,273
Come on.
42
00:04:19,405 --> 00:04:21,072
Im sorry.
43
00:04:21,073 --> 00:04:26,202
Because we got it Tuesday
and there's pork in it...
44
00:04:26,203 --> 00:04:29,206
I'm gonna... gonna... oh...
45
00:04:47,811 --> 00:04:50,479
You're late!
46
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,192
I've been waiting...
Sit down!
47
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,987
Come on, sit down.
Give me your hands.
48
00:04:58,906 --> 00:05:02,785
You are such a lost soul.
49
00:05:02,786 --> 00:05:05,204
You're in pain. Someone hurt you.
50
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:09,209
Someone ripped your heart out and
tried to play badminton with it.
51
00:05:09,210 --> 00:05:11,795
This man who hurt you,
he's a dark spirit.
52
00:05:11,796 --> 00:05:13,833
I see blackness all around him!
53
00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:15,508
But wait.
54
00:05:16,093 --> 00:05:17,217
What?
55
00:05:17,218 --> 00:05:20,889
I see a white pony.
He stands alone.
56
00:05:20,890 --> 00:05:22,890
His spirit is very bright.
57
00:05:22,891 --> 00:05:25,602
He runs towards you and, and...
58
00:05:25,603 --> 00:05:27,020
And?
59
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:30,190
Oh, you turn away.
I hate that part!
60
00:05:30,191 --> 00:05:31,691
Why do I turn away?
61
00:05:31,692 --> 00:05:33,903
Because you have to learn the lessons...
62
00:05:33,904 --> 00:05:36,197
before you can ride the white pony.
63
00:05:36,198 --> 00:05:38,116
White pony?
64
00:05:38,117 --> 00:05:40,994
Can't be a white stallion or somethin'?
65
00:05:40,995 --> 00:05:45,415
No. It's the white pony that
you will ride into the sunset.
66
00:05:45,416 --> 00:05:48,293
Only then can you have the
happy ending you desire.
67
00:05:48,294 --> 00:05:50,504
But first you have to believe...
68
00:05:50,505 --> 00:05:52,882
and you have to learn the
lessons that come before.
69
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:55,301
Lessons? What kind of lessons?
70
00:05:55,302 --> 00:05:58,388
Your own spirit not that bright yet.
71
00:05:58,389 --> 00:06:02,185
It needs its roots...
but you're close.
72
00:06:02,186 --> 00:06:05,640
First though you must
go through more pain...
73
00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:09,527
before your heart can
find true happiness.
74
00:06:09,985 --> 00:06:11,820
That just sucks!
75
00:06:11,821 --> 00:06:13,112
It only gets worse.
76
00:06:13,113 --> 00:06:14,406
You gotta be kidding me!
77
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,824
What do I look like? A comedian?
78
00:06:15,825 --> 00:06:17,909
If you don't pay attention...
79
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:20,621
if you don't listen to
your inner psychic voice...
80
00:06:20,622 --> 00:06:23,660
if you choose the wrong paths
and the wrong situations...
81
00:06:23,661 --> 00:06:25,445
if you think you can just
do it all on your own...
82
00:06:25,446 --> 00:06:27,504
- What?
- if you ignore the signs...
83
00:06:27,505 --> 00:06:31,292
love will never find
its way into your heart.
84
00:06:31,293 --> 00:06:35,095
You'll live a lonely,
desperate, isolated...
85
00:06:35,096 --> 00:06:36,889
miserable existence.
86
00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:40,227
I would not wanna be you.
87
00:07:01,793 --> 00:07:03,919
Hi.
88
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,896
Hi, Carrie. It's Rebecca.
89
00:07:05,897 --> 00:07:08,297
What time is it?
90
00:07:08,592 --> 00:07:10,092
10am.
91
00:07:11,303 --> 00:07:13,929
Why!
92
00:07:13,930 --> 00:07:17,601
I never realized how
beautiful it is in the morning.
93
00:07:17,602 --> 00:07:19,228
Birds chirping...
94
00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:22,314
smell of ass on Hollywood Boulevard.
95
00:07:22,315 --> 00:07:23,732
Hey, you wanna start jogging?
96
00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:25,192
Let's jogl
97
00:07:25,193 --> 00:07:28,356
Are you on crack,
Rebecca? I'm not jogging!
98
00:07:28,357 --> 00:07:30,323
Please.
99
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:32,235
Have you seen my boobs lately?
100
00:07:32,236 --> 00:07:33,409
Yeah, they're pretty.
101
00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,656
Of course they are! And you know why?
102
00:07:35,657 --> 00:07:38,625
Because I don't fucking jog!
103
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:42,296
Besides, I have my Animal Kingdom
audition in a couple of hours.
104
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,214
Wanna go shopping?
105
00:07:44,215 --> 00:07:46,133
Okay.
106
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:54,308
He is a jerk, Beck. A
cock sucking loser jerk.
107
00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:57,312
Oh, my God. Every time
something like this happens...
108
00:07:57,313 --> 00:08:00,022
it makes me seriously wanna
consider lesbianism. Ow!
109
00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:02,400
You can't even stand
looking at your own vagina.
110
00:08:02,401 --> 00:08:05,320
That's not true. I just had to
figure out which department did what.
111
00:08:05,321 --> 00:08:07,031
Hey!
112
00:08:07,032 --> 00:08:09,701
Maybe you can concentrate
more on your work now.
113
00:08:11,912 --> 00:08:14,414
I have been concentrating.
114
00:08:14,415 --> 00:08:17,501
It just takes a while to go
from sandwich ads and dog shows...
115
00:08:17,502 --> 00:08:20,503
to Vanity Fair covers.
Doesn't just happen overnight!
116
00:08:20,504 --> 00:08:22,005
Oh! Oh, no!
117
00:08:22,006 --> 00:08:23,506
What?
118
00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:27,428
I left my camera, my lenses,
my tripods, my gels. Everything!
119
00:08:27,429 --> 00:08:29,012
I left my future at Richard's.
120
00:08:29,013 --> 00:08:31,642
Oh, no.
121
00:08:35,605 --> 00:08:38,608
No, no way. I'm not
going over to his house.
122
00:08:38,609 --> 00:08:42,612
I'm not going to his house! Michelle!
123
00:08:42,613 --> 00:08:45,907
Oh, hell, no!
124
00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:51,121
For real? Ooh, girl!
125
00:08:51,122 --> 00:08:53,832
Yeah, you know I'll
get your stuff, girl.
126
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,542
Mm-hm.
127
00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:58,713
No, no, no. I ain't gonna beat his ass.
128
00:08:58,714 --> 00:09:02,008
I can't speak for John, though.
129
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,636
No, that shit would be funny.
130
00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:08,224
I got to go.
131
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,938
What the hell are you doing?
132
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:19,944
Hot Bacon. Three o'clock.
133
00:09:19,945 --> 00:09:22,114
That's not Bacon.
That's Porter House.
134
00:09:22,115 --> 00:09:25,618
Oh, no! He's wearing sneakers!
135
00:09:25,619 --> 00:09:27,245
You can have him.
136
00:09:27,246 --> 00:09:29,623
Fuck that!
137
00:09:29,624 --> 00:09:31,624
I'm not going near that world.
138
00:09:31,625 --> 00:09:35,581
It's gonna be a very long time before
Rebecca goes searching for another dick.
139
00:09:35,582 --> 00:09:37,922
The best medicine is
to get back out there.
140
00:09:37,923 --> 00:09:42,219
There's nothing wrong with a little
gratuitous sex to help mend the pain.
141
00:09:42,220 --> 00:09:44,429
Remember the last time
we were all single?
142
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:45,932
We had sex with every one.
143
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:50,145
Carrie, Brad Pitt's throbbing
cock couldn't help me right now.
144
00:09:50,146 --> 00:09:53,732
Nothing in the world could
heal this pain that I'm go...
145
00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:55,526
What?
146
00:09:55,527 --> 00:09:59,030
Do you remember how jealous Richard
would get when any guy would go near me?
147
00:09:59,238 --> 00:10:00,740
Hey, baby...
148
00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:03,534
What?
149
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:05,037
Can I help you?
150
00:10:05,329 --> 00:10:06,829
No!
151
00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:09,749
What the hell do you think you're doing?
152
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:11,043
Pap smear?
153
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:14,045
Yeah. He would go ape shit.
154
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,632
Exactly!
155
00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:18,426
So, I show up at Richard's fashion
show tonight with another guy.
156
00:10:18,427 --> 00:10:20,553
He sees me mauling him and his insides...
157
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:23,133
will get eaten up almost
as bad as mine did.
158
00:10:23,134 --> 00:10:25,725
It's the best revenge
revenge! How do I look?
159
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:30,941
Like a summer flower that
got rained and stung by a bee.
160
00:10:32,151 --> 00:10:34,444
Go, go, go!
161
00:11:00,557 --> 00:11:02,432
Hi.
162
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:05,971
I was just sitting over
there with my friend...
163
00:11:05,972 --> 00:11:09,524
and saw that you were
kinda staring at... me?
164
00:11:09,525 --> 00:11:12,653
Yeah, I was staring at you.
165
00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:15,948
What do you do for lunch?
166
00:11:16,032 --> 00:11:17,158
Nothing.
167
00:11:17,159 --> 00:11:20,454
Nothing? Do you like Chinese?
168
00:11:20,829 --> 00:11:21,954
Huh?
169
00:11:21,955 --> 00:11:22,956
Chinese food.
170
00:11:22,957 --> 00:11:26,335
Chicken chow mein,
mushu pork, you know.
171
00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:29,839
Mu shu.
172
00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:34,086
You know, if you don't like
Chinese, we could always just...
173
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:37,846
No, no. Uhm, what are you doing tonight?
174
00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:40,349
Do you wanna go to this
fashion show with me?
175
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,644
Sweetheart, do you have your Gold card?
176
00:11:42,645 --> 00:11:47,441
I seem to have left
mine at home. Who's this?
177
00:11:47,442 --> 00:11:51,363
Oh, I don't know. It's just
some bimbo hitting on me?
178
00:12:10,467 --> 00:12:12,135
Come on, hurry that shit up.
179
00:12:12,136 --> 00:12:15,848
Hey, you know, it's not like I
do this for a living, you know.
180
00:12:18,936 --> 00:12:20,060
Oh, shit!
181
00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:21,730
What?
182
00:12:25,568 --> 00:12:28,152
I can't even believe
you feel for that shit.
183
00:12:28,153 --> 00:12:29,655
Very funny, Michelle.
184
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:37,830
See how it's done?
185
00:12:37,831 --> 00:12:40,333
That's what I was gonna do.
186
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,050
Ugh!
187
00:12:48,051 --> 00:12:50,552
Look at him thinking
lookin' all good and shit.
188
00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:54,641
This is exactly why I don't date models.
189
00:12:55,935 --> 00:12:57,853
I don't see what she saw in the guy.
190
00:12:57,854 --> 00:13:00,356
But it's all over now.
191
00:13:00,357 --> 00:13:04,569
We can all kiss Richard's
skank ass good bye.
192
00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:08,364
Now, get the shit and let's
go. I gotta call my baby daddy.
193
00:13:21,838 --> 00:13:23,673
Holy shit!
194
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,853
What the hell are you doing?
195
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:18,066
What's up, dawg?
196
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,861
What?
197
00:14:21,279 --> 00:14:23,656
You got a problem, huh?
198
00:14:23,657 --> 00:14:27,076
You wanna, uh, you wanna dance here?
199
00:14:27,870 --> 00:14:30,955
You wanna take this outside? Huh?
200
00:14:31,248 --> 00:14:32,749
What's up?
201
00:14:33,459 --> 00:14:36,253
Just get the hell out of here.
202
00:14:36,254 --> 00:14:38,463
You screwed up, man.
203
00:14:38,464 --> 00:14:42,676
You had a rose but you
had to go and pluck a weed.
204
00:14:42,677 --> 00:14:47,057
And then to make things even worse you
go and fuck up all the camera equipment?
205
00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:49,476
What kind of sick bastard are you?
206
00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:52,646
That was her whole life, you asshole!
207
00:14:52,647 --> 00:14:55,149
She sucked at it, anyway.
208
00:14:58,987 --> 00:15:00,656
Huh!
209
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:06,661
Huh!
210
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:12,877
You and me, buddy.
211
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:17,257
You and me!
212
00:15:19,884 --> 00:15:21,678
When?
213
00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:26,766
Some day.
214
00:15:29,272 --> 00:15:31,357
Some day.
215
00:15:33,151 --> 00:15:35,069
What up, dick?
216
00:15:35,070 --> 00:15:37,279
Just a little warning.
217
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,781
That ain't mud on your bed.
218
00:15:40,784 --> 00:15:42,452
Let's go.
219
00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:50,460
We're giving nonstop excitement.
220
00:15:51,587 --> 00:15:53,171
Thanks for coming with me.
221
00:15:53,172 --> 00:15:55,674
I told you you'd have better luck here.
222
00:15:55,675 --> 00:16:00,005
It can be that hard to find one normal
guy in this town just to use one night.
223
00:16:00,006 --> 00:16:04,392
It's not hard at all. They're begging
to get used. That last guy was a fluke.
224
00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:06,158
Who the fuck would ask some one out...
225
00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:07,979
with their wife shopping two feet away?
226
00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:10,482
I don't get it, Carrie.
227
00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:12,358
I mean, I gave my heart to Richard.
228
00:16:12,359 --> 00:16:14,779
What made him feel the
need to have another woman?
229
00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:17,865
Well, that's easy. Penis insecurity.
230
00:16:17,866 --> 00:16:20,659
When the penis doesn't
get enough showmanship...
231
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:23,581
it has to remind itself that
it's still an almighty tool
232
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,373
and that it could make any woman moan.
233
00:16:25,374 --> 00:16:29,586
One when it got used to like yours
but one from uncharted waters.
234
00:16:29,587 --> 00:16:30,796
Carrie Winters?
235
00:16:30,797 --> 00:16:33,258
Right here, honey! Wish me luck.
236
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,759
Good luck.
237
00:17:02,999 --> 00:17:06,669
How're you doing?
238
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:10,798
I'm Mike.
239
00:17:16,473 --> 00:17:17,973
You're so gonna get this part.
240
00:17:17,974 --> 00:17:21,602
Oh! I'm not an actress.
241
00:17:21,603 --> 00:17:22,896
What?
242
00:17:22,897 --> 00:17:25,482
You're so hot!
243
00:17:26,191 --> 00:17:28,568
You're like smoking hot.
244
00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:32,365
You're like hot air popcorn pumper hot.
245
00:17:32,366 --> 00:17:33,574
Thank you.
246
00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:36,870
Like hotter than exhaust hot.
247
00:17:37,579 --> 00:17:40,999
Hotter than a devil's pitch fork hot.
248
00:17:46,589 --> 00:17:48,799
What's that smell?
249
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,972
I don't smell anything.
250
00:17:55,390 --> 00:17:57,768
It's totally doing something to me.
251
00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:00,896
And what is that?
252
00:18:06,779 --> 00:18:08,780
It's coming from you.
253
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,993
What is that beautiful
scent you've got on?
254
00:18:12,994 --> 00:18:15,872
Deodorant?
255
00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:21,210
To me it smells like... obsession!
256
00:18:26,383 --> 00:18:28,176
Hey, baby.
257
00:18:34,893 --> 00:18:37,103
You smell so hot.
258
00:18:41,108 --> 00:18:47,281
Here at the Animal Kingdom we
bring you non-stop excitement.
259
00:18:49,284 --> 00:18:53,996
In a world filled with
lions and tigers and bears...
260
00:18:53,997 --> 00:19:00,087
oh my, we bring you all of the
fun without any of the danger.
261
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,837
Well, maybe a little bit of the danger.
262
00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:09,806
So hold on to your seats every one...
263
00:19:09,807 --> 00:19:13,893
because we're gonna bring you
heart stopping, claw biting...
264
00:19:13,894 --> 00:19:16,605
family action fun!
265
00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:20,693
That was just wonderful!
266
00:19:21,277 --> 00:19:24,279
Really? Right on!
267
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,992
How long have you been in the business?
268
00:19:27,618 --> 00:19:29,786
Longer than you can scream arghhhhh!
269
00:19:29,787 --> 00:19:33,999
Oh, she... You're a feisty little one.
270
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,502
Hey, are you guys single, by any chance?
271
00:19:37,503 --> 00:19:40,881
As... as a matter of
fact we... we both are.
272
00:19:40,882 --> 00:19:44,594
Really? I'll be right back.
273
00:19:45,304 --> 00:19:47,888
Rebecca! Come on in
here. They wanna meet you.
274
00:19:47,889 --> 00:19:49,807
No, no. No, I don't want to.
275
00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:53,105
Just get your ass in here. Hurry up!
276
00:19:55,315 --> 00:19:57,109
Now!
277
00:19:58,819 --> 00:20:01,906
Rebecca, I'd like you to
meet our dates for tonight.
278
00:20:14,211 --> 00:20:19,008
Why, why, why why?
279
00:20:21,218 --> 00:20:23,011
Excuse me!
280
00:20:23,012 --> 00:20:25,222
The least you could do is thank me!
281
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:26,890
For what?
282
00:20:26,891 --> 00:20:28,600
We have dates!
283
00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:32,397
Yeah, with two guys that are one
chromosome away from being Woody Allen.
284
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,193
Woody is hot and you know it.
285
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:39,320
Remember in White men can't jump
when they were playing basketball?
286
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,906
And he took off his shirt...
287
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,737
and he looked all golden
like the sunset rising up...
288
00:20:43,738 --> 00:20:45,822
What are you talking
about? I said Woody Allen!
289
00:20:45,823 --> 00:20:48,916
Ooh! Who is he?
290
00:20:49,292 --> 00:20:51,209
Listen to me, Crissy Snow...
291
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,087
if Richard gets one good
look at this mug I'm with...
292
00:20:53,088 --> 00:20:54,922
he'll piss in his pants.
293
00:20:54,923 --> 00:20:57,925
No jealousy, my friend. Just laughter.
294
00:20:57,926 --> 00:21:01,804
I figured it out for you, Janet Woods.
295
00:21:01,805 --> 00:21:04,843
When Richard comes down that
catwalk, I'm gonna shout out to him.
296
00:21:04,844 --> 00:21:06,392
When he looks down you grab Milo...
297
00:21:06,393 --> 00:21:08,102
and you put his head
between your breasts.
298
00:21:08,103 --> 00:21:12,059
He won't see that mug, just
a man nestling in your bosoms.
299
00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:13,108
Not bad.
300
00:21:13,109 --> 00:21:15,027
I'm going, okay?
301
00:21:15,028 --> 00:21:16,112
Sorry, sorry.
302
00:21:16,113 --> 00:21:18,615
I don't understand why we
gotta be running this shit.
303
00:21:18,616 --> 00:21:22,153
Because Beck left a note that
said, "Save me, it's an emergency.
304
00:21:22,154 --> 00:21:23,203
Love. Annie Hall. "
305
00:21:23,204 --> 00:21:25,831
This shit never be starting on time.
306
00:21:25,832 --> 00:21:27,123
Excuse me.
307
00:21:27,124 --> 00:21:30,126
Hold on. Just have to wait.
Way too crowded in there.
308
00:21:30,127 --> 00:21:31,295
Wait for someone to come out.
309
00:21:31,296 --> 00:21:34,214
Oh, hell, dodgy, you know who I am?
310
00:21:34,215 --> 00:21:36,218
Huh?
311
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:42,225
The small-time crooks are looking
more like Cheech and Chong.
312
00:21:44,728 --> 00:21:48,641
Wow! Look at the beautiful shiksas.
313
00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:50,400
Very beautiful shiksas.
314
00:21:50,401 --> 00:21:51,692
So how was I today?
315
00:21:51,693 --> 00:21:53,611
You were great.
316
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,649
Will you be my bubbela?
317
00:21:55,650 --> 00:21:57,909
Ooh, sorry.
318
00:22:00,912 --> 00:22:05,452
I can do wonders for you baby. Mm-hm.
319
00:22:05,453 --> 00:22:06,834
Is that so?
320
00:22:06,835 --> 00:22:11,506
Yeah, that is so. That's right.
321
00:22:11,507 --> 00:22:14,509
I'm gonna make you cry like
a little baby right now.
322
00:22:14,510 --> 00:22:16,512
Uh-huh.
323
00:22:16,513 --> 00:22:19,223
Let me get all up in that shit.
324
00:22:19,224 --> 00:22:20,808
Mm-hm.
325
00:22:20,809 --> 00:22:22,435
Yeah, baby.
326
00:22:27,317 --> 00:22:28,902
Hey, ya!
327
00:22:28,903 --> 00:22:31,612
Who thinks you're cute? I do.
328
00:22:31,613 --> 00:22:33,734
You wanna take me home?
329
00:22:33,735 --> 00:22:34,907
No.
330
00:22:34,908 --> 00:22:36,326
Is it 'cause I'm too tall?
331
00:22:36,327 --> 00:22:38,447
I've got a ladder with your name on it!
332
00:22:38,448 --> 00:22:39,538
No.
333
00:22:39,539 --> 00:22:41,123
It's 'cause you think I'm ugly?
334
00:22:41,124 --> 00:22:42,123
No.
335
00:22:42,124 --> 00:22:44,710
It's 'cause you're gay? Oh, impotent?
336
00:22:44,711 --> 00:22:46,003
No!
337
00:22:46,004 --> 00:22:48,130
Is it 'cause you just
don't understand the vagina?
338
00:22:48,131 --> 00:22:50,008
I'll be happy to draw a chart.
339
00:23:03,732 --> 00:23:07,402
Carrie, can you just pay attention,
all right? 'Cause he's coming down.
340
00:23:33,932 --> 00:23:35,934
Hey, Richard!
341
00:24:00,336 --> 00:24:02,211
Oh, my God!
342
00:24:02,212 --> 00:24:06,633
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
343
00:24:06,634 --> 00:24:09,429
Why this shit happens to me?
344
00:24:09,430 --> 00:24:14,261
He's the one that let his dick
go in the wrong fucking hole!
345
00:24:14,262 --> 00:24:17,647
It's not fair!
346
00:24:20,734 --> 00:24:24,029
I'm the one that's
humiliated all the time!
347
00:24:24,030 --> 00:24:27,067
I mean, it's not fair.
Humiliation right on my face?
348
00:24:27,068 --> 00:24:28,116
Girl!
349
00:24:28,117 --> 00:24:30,243
Are you crazy?
350
00:24:30,244 --> 00:24:32,621
Your big old titty is hanging out.
351
00:24:37,837 --> 00:24:39,420
Fuck it!
352
00:24:40,839 --> 00:24:43,926
Just fucking globs of fat!
353
00:24:45,552 --> 00:24:47,554
That girl crazy.
354
00:25:03,656 --> 00:25:05,617
You know, you're wasting water.
355
00:25:09,746 --> 00:25:11,539
But we really have to get out of here...
356
00:25:11,540 --> 00:25:14,126
'cause there's this giant woman
that's gonna come chasing after me...
357
00:25:14,127 --> 00:25:16,921
any second from now. I'm serious.
358
00:25:18,131 --> 00:25:20,633
You wanna go get some ice cream?
359
00:25:35,733 --> 00:25:38,361
Tell me I don't smell like puke anymore.
360
00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:41,239
You don't smell like puke anymore.
361
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,659
You're a bad liar.
362
00:25:45,536 --> 00:25:47,621
What can I get you two?
363
00:25:48,247 --> 00:25:50,832
I'll have the " I just
got dumped" sundae.
364
00:25:50,833 --> 00:25:53,543
I don't think that's on the menu, dear.
365
00:25:53,544 --> 00:25:57,748
Then make me the best sundae
you could possibly imagine...
366
00:25:57,749 --> 00:26:00,370
that would take away
every painful experience...
367
00:26:00,371 --> 00:26:03,639
that any man ever did you wrong.
368
00:26:06,143 --> 00:26:10,346
- You know what I think?
- What do you think, John?
369
00:26:10,347 --> 00:26:12,949
I think everything happens for a reason.
370
00:26:12,950 --> 00:26:14,950
Oh, God!
371
00:26:14,951 --> 00:26:17,328
Please, don't give me any
of that spiritual crap.
372
00:26:17,329 --> 00:26:18,955
Heard it from a psychic this morning.
373
00:26:18,956 --> 00:26:21,124
The best I'm ever gonna
find is a white pony.
374
00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:25,538
And to tell you the truth
I'd settle for a brown donkey.
375
00:26:25,539 --> 00:26:27,957
You know what? Maybe
that's your problem.
376
00:26:27,958 --> 00:26:30,960
You just keep on
settling for these idiots.
377
00:26:30,961 --> 00:26:34,582
I have known you for so
long and every single day...
378
00:26:34,583 --> 00:26:37,551
you teach me how to be a better person.
379
00:26:37,552 --> 00:26:40,345
But for whatever reason you
will not let someone love you...
380
00:26:40,346 --> 00:26:43,349
the way you deserve to be loved.
381
00:26:45,644 --> 00:26:48,563
And how should I be loved, John?
382
00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:56,740
Thank you!
383
00:26:58,534 --> 00:27:01,453
I just have to go to the
bathroom. I'll be right back.
384
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:08,078
God, you're such an idiot! You
just gotta fucking say it, John.
385
00:27:08,079 --> 00:27:10,790
Just say the fucking words.
386
00:27:10,791 --> 00:27:13,049
Say it out loud, okay?
387
00:27:14,551 --> 00:27:19,263
Rebecca, you should be loved
like no one else in this world.
388
00:27:19,264 --> 00:27:21,057
You should smile every day...
389
00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:24,561
knowing that every morsel of your
being is being nourished by a man...
390
00:27:24,562 --> 00:27:28,858
that will do anything he
can to make Rebecca happy.
391
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,445
Me, Rebecca. I love you.
392
00:27:32,446 --> 00:27:35,274
The way you should be loved...
393
00:27:35,275 --> 00:27:38,368
is to be loved by me.
394
00:27:40,538 --> 00:27:43,542
See that? There you go.
395
00:27:45,669 --> 00:27:47,462
It's good!
396
00:27:47,463 --> 00:27:49,674
That was beautiful.
397
00:27:50,550 --> 00:27:52,259
Thanks.
398
00:28:00,269 --> 00:28:03,354
Rebecca, there's
something I gotta tell you.
399
00:28:04,273 --> 00:28:06,650
If you tell me that you're
dying of a terminal illness...
400
00:28:06,651 --> 00:28:08,604
I swear to God I'm gonna kill myself.
401
00:28:08,605 --> 00:28:10,361
I'm not dying.
402
00:28:10,362 --> 00:28:12,865
Oh, thank God.
403
00:28:15,868 --> 00:28:17,369
What is it?
404
00:28:18,538 --> 00:28:21,374
Richard destroyed all
your camera equipment.
405
00:28:24,670 --> 00:28:26,255
What?
406
00:28:26,256 --> 00:28:28,674
When I went to your place
to pick up all your stuff...
407
00:28:28,675 --> 00:28:33,971
your equipment was in the corner
and he just... he ruined it.
408
00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:41,856
I'm sorry.
409
00:28:44,776 --> 00:28:46,944
What am I gonna do?
410
00:28:46,945 --> 00:28:49,398
I'm not gonna be able to work. I
can't afford to buy a new equipment.
411
00:28:49,399 --> 00:28:53,368
It'll be fine. I'll... I'll
pawn one of my guitars and...
412
00:28:53,369 --> 00:28:56,663
No! No, John.
413
00:28:56,664 --> 00:29:00,459
You've been collecting those things
since Keanu Reeves started his first band.
414
00:29:01,545 --> 00:29:02,961
Just forget it.
415
00:29:02,962 --> 00:29:05,173
It's useless. I have no future.
416
00:29:05,174 --> 00:29:07,258
I have no future.
417
00:29:07,759 --> 00:29:10,052
No. Rebecca, wha...
418
00:29:10,053 --> 00:29:12,556
What if your future is
sitting right next to you, huh?
419
00:29:13,182 --> 00:29:15,350
Maybe the person
sitting right next to you...
420
00:29:15,351 --> 00:29:17,978
wants to spend their entire
life making Rebecca happy.
421
00:29:17,979 --> 00:29:21,857
You know, stop drowning yourself in
this dark pit and pick yourself up...
422
00:29:21,858 --> 00:29:24,485
and realize that the
person sitting next to you...
423
00:29:24,486 --> 00:29:27,483
might just be your entire existence.
424
00:29:27,484 --> 00:29:30,868
Please, take a chance for once.
425
00:29:33,163 --> 00:29:34,246
Excuse me.
426
00:29:34,247 --> 00:29:35,581
Yes?
427
00:29:35,582 --> 00:29:37,876
Are you by chance my future?
428
00:29:38,460 --> 00:29:41,588
Yes, I believe I am.
429
00:29:42,673 --> 00:29:44,883
What do you think? Shall I go for it?
430
00:29:47,261 --> 00:29:49,180
All right. Wish me luck.
431
00:29:49,890 --> 00:29:50,883
What's your name?
432
00:29:50,884 --> 00:29:52,767
Rebecca.
433
00:30:02,278 --> 00:30:06,782
Can I have one "I'm a complete
dumb ass pussy" sundae, please?
434
00:30:29,892 --> 00:30:32,721
Are you sure this is ecstasy?
435
00:30:32,722 --> 00:30:35,564
Definitely. Without a doubt.
436
00:30:35,565 --> 00:30:37,859
It's even mildly laced with acid.
437
00:30:38,068 --> 00:30:39,486
Huh?
438
00:30:56,463 --> 00:30:59,173
Do you like to experiment sexually?
439
00:31:01,886 --> 00:31:03,595
What do you mean?
440
00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:07,266
You know... try new things.
441
00:31:10,395 --> 00:31:12,397
Not, not really.
442
00:31:12,773 --> 00:31:14,774
Good.
443
00:31:14,775 --> 00:31:16,985
I can't wait to teach you.
444
00:31:28,582 --> 00:31:30,792
Shhhhh!
445
00:31:42,681 --> 00:31:45,391
Now, count to 30 and
come into the bedroom.
446
00:31:45,976 --> 00:31:47,603
Okay.
447
00:31:54,777 --> 00:31:56,779
If this is my future...
448
00:31:56,780 --> 00:31:59,990
I pray a large piano falls from
the sky and hits me right now.
449
00:32:05,373 --> 00:32:08,876
Why can't drug hallucinations be real?
450
00:32:09,586 --> 00:32:12,172
Shit's starting to kick.
451
00:32:51,883 --> 00:32:56,094
What the hell, Rebecca.
Let's have some fun.
452
00:33:02,979 --> 00:33:05,398
Time to go fishing, baby.
453
00:33:06,107 --> 00:33:07,774
Touch my bass, Rebecca.
454
00:33:08,902 --> 00:33:13,990
Touch my bass!
455
00:33:14,491 --> 00:33:17,494
Touch my fucking bass!
456
00:33:18,496 --> 00:33:23,084
Please, touch my bass.
457
00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:35,013
She look dead.
458
00:33:35,014 --> 00:33:36,306
She's not dead.
459
00:33:36,307 --> 00:33:37,389
How do you know?
460
00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:40,185
'Cause she'd be blue.
461
00:33:40,186 --> 00:33:43,981
Hey, girl, you still with us?
462
00:33:47,903 --> 00:33:49,613
Ooooh! She smells like fish.
463
00:33:49,614 --> 00:33:51,490
Oh, my God.
464
00:33:51,491 --> 00:33:54,152
Did you sleep with
Charlie the tuna last night...
465
00:33:54,153 --> 00:33:55,995
or do you need to douche?
466
00:33:58,707 --> 00:34:00,708
Just leave me alone.
467
00:34:00,709 --> 00:34:03,914
Take your time. Nobody wanna smell that.
468
00:34:03,915 --> 00:34:05,505
Mm-hm.
469
00:34:11,596 --> 00:34:14,307
Rebecca, I got you some food.
470
00:34:14,891 --> 00:34:16,601
Huh?
471
00:34:59,607 --> 00:35:02,986
What in the hell are you doing?
472
00:35:02,987 --> 00:35:05,405
I knew that should wake you up, girl.
473
00:35:05,406 --> 00:35:07,407
You've been sleeping for three days.
474
00:35:07,825 --> 00:35:10,493
I was not sleeping.
475
00:35:10,494 --> 00:35:13,121
I was thinking.
476
00:35:13,122 --> 00:35:16,708
Well, you might think better when
you don't smell like a dead fish.
477
00:35:16,709 --> 00:35:23,299
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
478
00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:29,013
Don't ever say that word again.
479
00:35:30,015 --> 00:35:31,725
Okay.
480
00:35:32,310 --> 00:35:35,522
Well, I'm gonna cook some frozen food.
481
00:35:35,523 --> 00:35:37,691
I can make you a fish stick.
482
00:35:37,692 --> 00:35:39,192
Shut up!
483
00:35:39,193 --> 00:35:40,645
Oh, shit.
484
00:35:40,646 --> 00:35:42,113
What now?
485
00:35:42,114 --> 00:35:44,407
Aunt Flo came early this month.
486
00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:48,828
Well, girl, at least you ain't pregnant
and shit. You know what I'm saying?
487
00:35:50,413 --> 00:35:52,534
Would you have helped her with the baby?
488
00:35:52,535 --> 00:35:54,209
I don't know. Would you?
489
00:35:54,210 --> 00:35:56,294
Babies are sticky.
490
00:35:56,295 --> 00:35:59,213
Well, at least she can get
some food stamps or somethin'.
491
00:35:59,214 --> 00:36:02,335
Yeah, 'cause you know Richard
would've done nothing to help the baby.
492
00:36:02,336 --> 00:36:04,803
Will you guys shut up?
493
00:36:04,804 --> 00:36:07,014
You need to tell me with
the two of you living here...
494
00:36:07,015 --> 00:36:09,100
you don't have one tampon in the house?
495
00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:12,227
No. We're out.
496
00:36:12,228 --> 00:36:13,605
Can you go buy me some?
497
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:14,814
I got no money.
498
00:36:14,815 --> 00:36:16,316
Just forget it.
499
00:36:34,505 --> 00:36:37,834
What do you mean I have
herpes? That's not possible!
500
00:36:37,835 --> 00:36:42,011
I've only slept with one
guy in my entire life.
501
00:36:42,012 --> 00:36:44,222
People like me don't get diseases.
502
00:36:44,223 --> 00:36:46,224
People like you get herpes all the time.
503
00:36:46,225 --> 00:36:49,103
It's the naive ones who
think it can't happen to them.
504
00:36:53,024 --> 00:36:56,235
But doctor I...
505
00:36:56,236 --> 00:37:02,408
I can't live with this.
506
00:37:02,409 --> 00:37:05,329
You won't have to.
It's called Herpes Away.
507
00:37:05,330 --> 00:37:08,450
It's a creamy little ointment
without any deadly side effects.
508
00:37:08,451 --> 00:37:10,918
Take once a day to avoid outbreaks.
509
00:37:10,919 --> 00:37:12,919
This is amazing.
510
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,631
I can't wait to tell
my friends all about it!
511
00:37:15,632 --> 00:37:17,508
Just stop.
512
00:37:18,135 --> 00:37:19,220
What's wrong?
513
00:37:19,221 --> 00:37:21,013
I'm not believing a word you're saying!
514
00:37:21,014 --> 00:37:23,224
That's 'cause I'm acting.
515
00:37:23,225 --> 00:37:25,865
I mean, I see quite a
few things on your resume...
516
00:37:25,866 --> 00:37:28,521
and I think how could
anybody have ever hired you?
517
00:37:28,522 --> 00:37:31,059
And It dawns on me. I bet
every time you did get hired...
518
00:37:31,060 --> 00:37:32,442
it was always by a man.
519
00:37:32,443 --> 00:37:35,404
You need to pay your dues
in acting, not with men!
520
00:37:36,531 --> 00:37:38,741
You don't know what
you're talking about.
521
00:37:38,742 --> 00:37:42,119
I hope one day you do know
what I'm talking about.
522
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,205
Yeah?
523
00:37:44,915 --> 00:37:47,577
Well, I hate to rain
on your parade, lady,
524
00:37:47,578 --> 00:37:50,630
but this shit doesn't work.
525
00:37:54,843 --> 00:37:56,927
What's for dinner?
526
00:37:56,928 --> 00:37:59,639
We've got a special on
ground chuck today, ladies.
527
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,309
You can't go wrong with meat.
528
00:38:09,108 --> 00:38:11,026
Oh, shit.
529
00:38:17,618 --> 00:38:20,413
Oh, no!
530
00:38:30,924 --> 00:38:32,842
Oh, no!
531
00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:36,221
Shit.
532
00:38:44,647 --> 00:38:46,440
Hello?
533
00:38:46,441 --> 00:38:49,109
Hello. Please, please
hurry up. It's an emergency.
534
00:38:49,110 --> 00:38:51,822
This is an emergency, too, sweetheart.
535
00:39:11,553 --> 00:39:14,723
Herb, we're gonna clean up on aisle two.
536
00:39:18,019 --> 00:39:21,521
Herb, we're gonna clean up on aisle two.
537
00:39:24,734 --> 00:39:27,653
Oh, help. I've fallen!
538
00:39:29,030 --> 00:39:33,033
Oh, and I'm bleeding! Oh, no!
539
00:39:33,034 --> 00:39:35,244
Oh!
540
00:39:58,856 --> 00:40:01,859
Herb, we're gonna clean up.
541
00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:05,028
Oh, shit!
542
00:40:08,741 --> 00:40:10,826
Herb, we're gonna clean up.
543
00:40:10,827 --> 00:40:14,830
No. Thanks, Herb, I've got it covered!
544
00:40:26,844 --> 00:40:29,346
When they were in the
bag, they were $1.99.
545
00:40:29,347 --> 00:40:31,591
Well, I can't ring them up
unless they're in the bag.
546
00:40:31,592 --> 00:40:34,227
There's no bag. This is
all that's left, okay?
547
00:40:34,228 --> 00:40:37,229
I already told you if they're not
in the bag, I can't ring them up.
548
00:40:37,230 --> 00:40:39,767
Listen, sweetheart,
we're both girls, okay?
549
00:40:39,768 --> 00:40:41,359
Just give me a break.
550
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,563
The longer I stand here, the more
Herb's gonna have to clean up.
551
00:40:43,564 --> 00:40:46,364
Well, that seems to be
your problem, not mine.
552
00:40:46,365 --> 00:40:48,033
No, please.
553
00:40:48,034 --> 00:40:51,990
Herb, we got a price check,
please, on the super size maxi pads...
554
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:55,042
for the woman who keeps
bleeding all over the store.
555
00:41:05,637 --> 00:41:07,222
Stop her!
556
00:41:09,308 --> 00:41:11,602
Come back here. Come back here!
557
00:41:23,823 --> 00:41:26,410
Gonna get you, lady.
558
00:41:39,424 --> 00:41:43,012
Hey, Beck. How is it going?
What have you got there?
559
00:41:43,013 --> 00:41:44,638
Nothing.
560
00:42:03,409 --> 00:42:06,537
His body is ridiculous.
561
00:42:09,541 --> 00:42:11,543
So, when are you going to see him again?
562
00:42:11,544 --> 00:42:14,212
Tonight. He's taking
me to the Tantra Grill.
563
00:42:14,213 --> 00:42:16,340
You're so lucky to be dating a model.
564
00:42:16,341 --> 00:42:21,380
He's not just a model, Lilly. He's
fucking Richard Huntington, the top model.
565
00:42:21,381 --> 00:42:24,514
And he just landed three
commercials. That's huge!
566
00:42:24,515 --> 00:42:26,935
Wow! Maybe I'll catch up
with a drink after dinner.
567
00:42:26,936 --> 00:42:28,325
You can't.
568
00:42:28,326 --> 00:42:29,729
Why not?
569
00:42:29,730 --> 00:42:32,440
'Cause after dinner I'm gonna
fuck the shit out of him.
570
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,947
Do you think maybe you can put
me up with one of his friends?
571
00:42:37,948 --> 00:42:40,324
Uhm, no.
572
00:42:48,418 --> 00:42:51,045
You a cyclist or just
play for the other team?
573
00:42:51,546 --> 00:42:53,423
Why? 'Cause I'm waxing my legs?
574
00:42:53,424 --> 00:42:55,752
You know, I get real,
real nosy sometimes.
575
00:42:55,753 --> 00:42:58,845
I like to know everything, you know.
576
00:42:58,846 --> 00:43:00,930
What you need to do is wax that ass.
577
00:43:00,931 --> 00:43:03,141
I'm actually a magician.
578
00:43:03,142 --> 00:43:05,644
I'm doing an underwater trick
on the tonight show next week...
579
00:43:05,645 --> 00:43:07,729
and I can't have any hair on my legs.
580
00:43:07,730 --> 00:43:09,815
Oh, that's cool, that's real dope.
581
00:43:09,816 --> 00:43:10,816
Where are you from?
582
00:43:10,817 --> 00:43:14,320
I flew in from Chicago actually.
583
00:43:15,656 --> 00:43:18,616
Hey! What you doing tonight?
584
00:43:18,617 --> 00:43:23,955
'Cause I would love to hook you up
my girl, you know what I'm saying?
585
00:43:23,956 --> 00:43:25,916
She's been through a
lot of shit, you know.
586
00:43:25,917 --> 00:43:29,420
Take her out to dinner and
make her feel real good.
587
00:43:29,421 --> 00:43:30,839
That could be fun.
588
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:33,342
That could be real nice. She
need to get out real, real bad...
589
00:43:33,343 --> 00:43:36,053
you know what I'm saying?
She's been through some shit.
590
00:43:40,725 --> 00:43:42,727
Well, she sounds great.
591
00:43:42,728 --> 00:43:44,937
Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean
for her to sound like that.
592
00:43:44,938 --> 00:43:48,149
She is a super cool Barbie doll
that just got dumped by Ken.
593
00:43:48,150 --> 00:43:51,529
But she's cool, she's a good
girl. You know what I'm saying?
594
00:43:52,238 --> 00:43:55,449
Is there, uhm, some
place, you know, cool...
595
00:43:55,450 --> 00:43:57,034
that you recommend
that I could take her?
596
00:43:57,035 --> 00:43:59,245
Uh,
597
00:44:01,248 --> 00:44:04,250
You know, I was thinking maybe you
could take her to the Tantra Grill.
598
00:44:04,251 --> 00:44:07,046
Around 8:00. Don't be late
'cause I'll beat your ass.
599
00:44:09,633 --> 00:44:10,757
Anything else?
600
00:44:10,758 --> 00:44:12,843
Pay me 40 bucks for the wax...
601
00:44:12,844 --> 00:44:15,172
and 20 bucks 'cause I look good.
602
00:44:15,173 --> 00:44:18,850
Ooh.
603
00:44:18,851 --> 00:44:22,145
Here you go. Keep the change.
604
00:44:22,146 --> 00:44:24,733
Yo, this is only a dollar.
605
00:44:25,358 --> 00:44:26,859
Oh!
606
00:44:27,444 --> 00:44:28,945
Look again.
607
00:44:30,947 --> 00:44:34,743
Hey! Wooh baby! That's my boy!
608
00:44:34,744 --> 00:44:37,453
It's magic.
609
00:44:37,454 --> 00:44:40,040
"You will experience
the tingling sensation...
610
00:44:40,041 --> 00:44:42,578
"as the fatty acids and fruit enzymes...
611
00:44:42,579 --> 00:44:45,547
replenish the nutrients in your skin".
612
00:44:47,841 --> 00:44:50,761
Hi, how are you?
613
00:44:51,554 --> 00:44:54,639
Tom, is it? I'm Rebecca.
614
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,061
You're a magician, huh? That's cool.
615
00:44:58,436 --> 00:45:01,646
This? Oh, it's syphilis.
616
00:45:01,647 --> 00:45:03,441
I caught it in prison.
617
00:45:03,859 --> 00:45:05,735
Where are you going?
618
00:45:09,365 --> 00:45:12,035
"Remove with one smooth motion".
619
00:45:12,036 --> 00:45:14,162
Okay.
620
00:45:15,330 --> 00:45:17,165
Ouch!
621
00:45:17,458 --> 00:45:20,168
Uh... uh!
622
00:45:20,837 --> 00:45:22,463
Uh!
623
00:45:25,550 --> 00:45:27,468
Oh, my God!
624
00:45:29,345 --> 00:45:32,766
One, two... three!
625
00:45:34,060 --> 00:45:36,853
Oh, for crying out loud, Rebecca...
626
00:45:36,854 --> 00:45:38,938
revenge is not the solution.
627
00:45:38,939 --> 00:45:42,735
I'll be fine... I think.
628
00:45:42,736 --> 00:45:45,238
And now you have lost your fiance.
629
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,483
You're not gonna have
kids until you're 50...
630
00:45:47,484 --> 00:45:49,367
Ma, we were never engaged!
631
00:45:49,368 --> 00:45:50,952
That is just great to hear.
632
00:45:50,953 --> 00:45:54,407
You have been living with
this man for two years...
633
00:45:54,408 --> 00:45:57,334
You need to find a good catholic boy.
634
00:45:57,335 --> 00:45:59,753
What about that nice
fellow that works for you?
635
00:45:59,754 --> 00:46:01,672
Who, John?
636
00:46:01,673 --> 00:46:04,795
See? He's even named
after one of the disciples.
637
00:46:04,796 --> 00:46:07,054
Ma, I am so not his type.
638
00:46:07,055 --> 00:46:09,055
So, what are you gonna
do with your life now?
639
00:46:09,056 --> 00:46:11,767
Shoot up some heroine
and become a sex slave.
640
00:46:11,768 --> 00:46:14,436
Oh, for Pete's sakes!
641
00:46:14,437 --> 00:46:15,890
Ma, did you hear that?
642
00:46:15,891 --> 00:46:17,774
Hear what?
643
00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:20,778
Oh, mercy!
644
00:46:23,656 --> 00:46:25,366
Ha!
645
00:46:29,954 --> 00:46:32,540
Come on!
646
00:46:34,877 --> 00:46:39,790
Okay. Okay. Okay.
647
00:46:39,791 --> 00:46:41,174
Okay.
648
00:46:41,175 --> 00:46:42,843
Okay, now I gotta zip.
649
00:46:44,053 --> 00:46:46,972
Okay, here we go. Here we go.
650
00:46:48,557 --> 00:46:50,642
Fuck!
651
00:46:51,770 --> 00:46:53,855
Come on, please!
652
00:46:55,149 --> 00:46:59,070
Okay, okay. Just one more thing.
653
00:46:59,071 --> 00:47:03,867
Just let me button up. I swear
to God I'll be good, okay?
654
00:47:03,868 --> 00:47:07,578
Here we go God. One, two, three.
655
00:47:07,579 --> 00:47:09,747
Come on.
656
00:47:09,748 --> 00:47:10,874
Okay.
657
00:47:10,875 --> 00:47:14,545
Fuck! Fuck!
658
00:47:19,176 --> 00:47:21,761
Fuck you.
659
00:47:27,184 --> 00:47:29,352
Puff The magic dragon is in the house.
660
00:47:29,353 --> 00:47:31,271
Do you think he can
magically make my ass smaller?
661
00:47:31,272 --> 00:47:33,858
Carrie didn't tell me that her
jeans were size negative four.
662
00:47:33,859 --> 00:47:37,604
They're baggy on me. Don't let your
big ass deter you from your mission.
663
00:47:37,605 --> 00:47:40,191
We want Richard to eat his heart out.
664
00:47:40,192 --> 00:47:42,659
Oh, he will.
665
00:47:50,377 --> 00:47:52,587
Two of hearts.
666
00:47:53,547 --> 00:47:58,760
Oh, my God!
667
00:48:07,479 --> 00:48:09,856
You want a beer?
668
00:48:09,857 --> 00:48:12,247
Yeah. Thanks.
669
00:48:12,248 --> 00:48:15,070
You're welcome.
670
00:48:28,169 --> 00:48:30,086
Magic, huh?
671
00:48:30,679 --> 00:48:32,255
Yeah.
672
00:48:38,471 --> 00:48:39,554
Hi.
673
00:48:39,555 --> 00:48:41,558
I'm Rebecca.
674
00:48:41,976 --> 00:48:44,353
You are gorgeous.
675
00:48:46,188 --> 00:48:47,690
I'm lucky!
676
00:48:50,276 --> 00:48:52,779
Oh! Okay.
677
00:48:53,655 --> 00:48:55,072
Oh, isn't that nice?
678
00:48:55,073 --> 00:48:58,160
I'll go put these in invisible water.
679
00:48:59,787 --> 00:49:00,870
Are you ready?
680
00:49:00,871 --> 00:49:03,290
Okay.
681
00:49:06,294 --> 00:49:07,996
Hey, what's invisible water?
682
00:49:07,997 --> 00:49:10,172
I don't know.
683
00:49:20,184 --> 00:49:24,479
So, Michelle told me you've
been having a tough time lately.
684
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,859
Yeah, yeah. But I'd really
rather not talk about it.
685
00:49:27,860 --> 00:49:31,279
I'm trying to forget about it
for like a whole ten minutes.
686
00:49:34,075 --> 00:49:35,367
I hope I can help.
687
00:49:35,368 --> 00:49:38,162
Me, too. I crave distraction right now.
688
00:49:38,163 --> 00:49:40,790
Really? Huh!
689
00:49:40,791 --> 00:49:43,167
Why don't you look under the table?
690
00:49:51,177 --> 00:49:53,923
Uhm... there's a fucking
bird under the table.
691
00:49:53,924 --> 00:49:56,265
Why don't you look again?
692
00:50:00,771 --> 00:50:03,273
I swear to God there
was a bird a second ago.
693
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:05,567
It's magic.
694
00:50:05,568 --> 00:50:08,570
Oh.
695
00:50:09,864 --> 00:50:13,993
Uhm... I'm really hungry. Can we
maybe call the waiter over here...
696
00:50:13,994 --> 00:50:16,697
so we can order some food or I'm going
to start gnawing on the tablecloth?
697
00:50:16,698 --> 00:50:18,582
No problem.
698
00:50:21,001 --> 00:50:22,502
Oh, do you have a headache?
699
00:50:22,503 --> 00:50:26,966
Shhhhhh. I'm psychically
calling our waiter.
700
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,598
Are we ready to order?
701
00:50:34,392 --> 00:50:36,685
Es ma'gico!
702
00:50:40,774 --> 00:50:42,400
Would you care to hear the specials?
703
00:50:42,401 --> 00:50:43,567
Sure.
704
00:50:43,568 --> 00:50:45,570
We have a fettuccine
that is out of this world...
705
00:50:45,571 --> 00:50:47,273
bathed in white clam sauce.
706
00:50:47,274 --> 00:50:48,942
And we have a fantastic rabbit.
707
00:50:48,943 --> 00:50:50,575
Rabbit!
708
00:50:53,704 --> 00:50:55,206
I love rabbit.
709
00:50:56,373 --> 00:50:59,000
I'll have the rabbit. Well done, please.
710
00:50:59,001 --> 00:51:02,589
And a bottle of your best chardonnay.
711
00:51:03,673 --> 00:51:05,883
She'll have salad and a water.
712
00:51:06,176 --> 00:51:07,970
Certainly. Very good.
713
00:51:08,596 --> 00:51:12,308
I hope my rabbit doesn't eat your salad.
714
00:51:16,771 --> 00:51:18,691
Sorry.
715
00:51:21,402 --> 00:51:24,905
Will you excuse me? I have
to use the little girls' room.
716
00:51:33,499 --> 00:51:35,208
Oh, come on.
717
00:51:36,377 --> 00:51:38,587
Please!
718
00:51:48,682 --> 00:51:51,428
Where did he get that shirt?
719
00:51:51,429 --> 00:51:54,312
The skank.
720
00:51:54,313 --> 00:51:56,314
She's pretty.
721
00:51:57,776 --> 00:52:00,777
Why do exes look better
when they're active?
722
00:52:00,778 --> 00:52:03,197
Why am I talking to
myself in the mirror?
723
00:52:03,198 --> 00:52:05,492
Well then shut up.
724
00:52:14,502 --> 00:52:17,004
Why did the blonde
jumped off the building?
725
00:52:17,005 --> 00:52:20,508
To see if the maxi pad had wings.
726
00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:53,294
Thank you.
727
00:52:53,295 --> 00:52:55,589
You're welcome.
728
00:53:01,012 --> 00:53:02,722
Hi.
729
00:53:03,807 --> 00:53:05,684
Wow!
730
00:53:05,685 --> 00:53:09,021
You look even more beautiful.
731
00:53:11,399 --> 00:53:14,192
What? Huh? No, thank you.
732
00:53:14,193 --> 00:53:16,938
Oh, no, no. I didn't ask you anything.
733
00:53:16,939 --> 00:53:20,116
I said that you look
even more beautiful.
734
00:53:20,993 --> 00:53:24,912
Oh! You made this into a
flower. That's so sweet.
735
00:53:24,913 --> 00:53:27,707
No, no, no. That wasn't
me. That was the waiter.
736
00:53:29,419 --> 00:53:31,295
Oh.
737
00:53:32,589 --> 00:53:35,591
So, beautiful,
738
00:53:35,592 --> 00:53:37,426
where would you like to go after this?
739
00:53:37,427 --> 00:53:39,386
Why don't we figure that out later?
740
00:53:39,387 --> 00:53:42,890
Right now I just wanna sit
in this chair and stay put.
741
00:53:43,893 --> 00:53:45,393
Or maybe not.
742
00:53:45,394 --> 00:53:48,021
You weigh 125 pounds, right?
743
00:53:49,190 --> 00:53:50,815
No!
744
00:53:50,816 --> 00:53:53,026
I'm 115.
745
00:53:53,403 --> 00:53:55,698
125.
746
00:53:56,699 --> 00:53:58,325
Here we are.
747
00:53:58,326 --> 00:54:03,414
A beautiful salad for a delightful lady.
748
00:54:03,415 --> 00:54:05,917
And the rabbit.
749
00:54:05,918 --> 00:54:07,919
Rabbit!
750
00:54:08,503 --> 00:54:10,714
Excuse me.
751
00:54:10,715 --> 00:54:13,835
Can you send a blue fucker on the
rocks to that guy in the corner?
752
00:54:13,836 --> 00:54:15,428
Uh, mm-hm.
753
00:54:18,932 --> 00:54:20,307
I'll go first.
754
00:54:20,308 --> 00:54:23,102
Oh! I didn't know we were taking turns.
755
00:54:24,229 --> 00:54:28,316
Let's see. Your beauty
is like a magic spell.
756
00:54:28,317 --> 00:54:31,611
So mysterious and tricky.
757
00:54:32,530 --> 00:54:34,698
Can make an angel lose his wings.
758
00:54:34,699 --> 00:54:37,909
Where's my wing? Where's my wing?
759
00:54:37,910 --> 00:54:40,621
But conquer any dragon.
760
00:54:43,416 --> 00:54:47,295
I hope you let me look inside because
I'd really love to taste your treasure.
761
00:54:47,296 --> 00:54:50,717
Well, my treasure is under
construction right now, so.
762
00:54:51,718 --> 00:54:53,220
Oh!
763
00:54:57,516 --> 00:54:59,018
Now you.
764
00:55:00,228 --> 00:55:01,311
Okay, uhm,
765
00:55:01,312 --> 00:55:04,231
Excuse me, sir. A blue fucker.
766
00:55:04,232 --> 00:55:06,734
Compliments of the
young lady over there.
767
00:55:07,819 --> 00:55:09,320
Who's that?
768
00:55:12,116 --> 00:55:14,409
Your love spell has worked so well
769
00:55:14,410 --> 00:55:16,703
that it has taken control over my body...
770
00:55:16,704 --> 00:55:20,498
and making me do things I
would never do in my life.
771
00:55:20,499 --> 00:55:22,834
Oooh!
772
00:55:26,715 --> 00:55:29,133
Oh, shit! I'm sorry.
773
00:55:29,134 --> 00:55:30,634
No, no, don't worry about it.
774
00:55:30,635 --> 00:55:32,804
Don't worry about it.
I got it, I got it.
775
00:55:33,931 --> 00:55:36,599
No, no. Tom, Tom, Tom.
It's fine. No, sit down.
776
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,435
No, no, no, no. It's fine.
777
00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:40,814
I swear, don't worry
about it. No, no, no.
778
00:55:48,824 --> 00:55:51,909
Guess what? It ain't magic.
779
00:55:55,331 --> 00:55:57,617
And the wizard says to the little boy...
780
00:55:57,618 --> 00:55:59,918
"You can't do magic
with your bare hands...
781
00:55:59,919 --> 00:56:03,373
You need a magical wand". Ding!
782
00:56:03,374 --> 00:56:05,007
Will you shut up!
783
00:56:06,133 --> 00:56:08,427
Stop it!
784
00:56:32,747 --> 00:56:34,915
What the hell is your problem?
785
00:56:34,916 --> 00:56:37,244
Do you realize you could
have killed somebody?
786
00:56:37,245 --> 00:56:40,546
First of all top of the morning, sen~or.
787
00:56:40,547 --> 00:56:44,842
I'm sorry, officer. There was
actually a big bee in the car.
788
00:56:46,011 --> 00:56:47,846
And I'm allergic.
789
00:56:47,847 --> 00:56:49,348
A bee?
790
00:56:50,725 --> 00:56:52,684
Sir, I'm gonna ask to
search your vehicle.
791
00:56:52,685 --> 00:56:55,187
Could you please pop the trunk for me?
792
00:56:55,188 --> 00:56:57,273
Sure.
793
00:56:57,983 --> 00:56:59,066
Pop!
794
00:56:59,067 --> 00:57:01,069
There you go!
795
00:57:01,070 --> 00:57:02,277
So, what do we got?
796
00:57:02,278 --> 00:57:04,489
A couple of smart-asses.
797
00:57:06,283 --> 00:57:07,367
Whoa.
798
00:57:07,368 --> 00:57:10,078
We got ourselves a couple of bombers.
799
00:57:10,079 --> 00:57:11,580
Sure shit do.
800
00:57:11,581 --> 00:57:15,459
What the hell is wrong with you?
801
00:57:15,460 --> 00:57:18,087
Don't worry. Follow my lead.
802
00:57:18,088 --> 00:57:19,254
Don't move!
803
00:57:19,255 --> 00:57:21,757
You wanna tell me about
what you got in the trunk?
804
00:57:21,758 --> 00:57:24,095
Yeah. I'm a magician.
805
00:57:24,096 --> 00:57:26,424
I didn't know magicians carried C4.
806
00:57:26,425 --> 00:57:28,558
What the hell is C4?
807
00:57:29,184 --> 00:57:32,478
C4 is actually a very
powerful explosive.
808
00:57:32,479 --> 00:57:35,516
Explosive! Are you out of your mind?
809
00:57:35,517 --> 00:57:37,066
Wait, of course you are.
810
00:57:37,067 --> 00:57:39,485
I can explain.
811
00:57:39,486 --> 00:57:44,075
I'm doing a big underwater
trick on The Tonight Show.
812
00:57:44,076 --> 00:57:46,785
And there's a big explosion
at the end. That's all.
813
00:57:46,786 --> 00:57:49,580
That's it, all right. Out of the car.
814
00:57:49,581 --> 00:57:51,666
Step out of the car.
You're under arrest.
815
00:57:51,667 --> 00:57:54,085
I'm gonna write a letter.
816
00:57:54,086 --> 00:57:55,809
Turn around. Hands behind your back.
817
00:57:55,810 --> 00:57:57,589
You have the right to remain silent.
818
00:57:57,590 --> 00:58:01,093
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
819
00:58:01,094 --> 00:58:02,386
You know the rest.
820
00:58:02,387 --> 00:58:05,681
This is a big misunderstanding.
We're gonna be fine.
821
00:58:05,682 --> 00:58:07,767
They're not gonna do nothing to us.
822
00:58:07,892 --> 00:58:10,688
I need you to both remove
all of your garments, please.
823
00:58:12,773 --> 00:58:14,273
Uhm,
824
00:58:14,274 --> 00:58:19,280
can we both do this separately?
I mean, I hardly know this guy.
825
00:58:19,281 --> 00:58:21,867
Yeah. Well, that's what they all say.
826
00:58:21,868 --> 00:58:26,789
She doesn't feel comfortable taking
off her clothes. Maybe we should...
827
00:58:34,965 --> 00:58:36,709
Either you do it...
828
00:58:36,710 --> 00:58:38,886
or I do it for you.
829
00:58:39,887 --> 00:58:42,181
Okay.
830
00:58:59,492 --> 00:59:01,076
You're almost there.
831
00:59:01,077 --> 00:59:02,869
Please.
832
00:59:02,870 --> 00:59:06,498
Please, I am begging you. Please!
833
00:59:06,499 --> 00:59:08,584
Let me do this some place else.
834
00:59:19,180 --> 00:59:21,599
What is that? A mattress?
835
00:59:23,185 --> 00:59:26,479
All right. It's your turn, sir.
836
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:28,274
Let's go.
837
00:59:50,507 --> 00:59:53,384
Well, I won't be giving
her the cavity search...
838
00:59:53,385 --> 01:00:00,308
so... it looks like it's
your lucky day, bastard.
839
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:02,812
Drop 'em.
840
01:00:08,777 --> 01:00:10,778
Well, well, well.
841
01:00:10,779 --> 01:00:14,408
What do we have here?
842
01:00:21,708 --> 01:00:25,712
I was saving this trick for later.
843
01:00:43,015 --> 01:00:44,990
Magic!
844
01:00:54,703 --> 01:00:55,787
Hi.
845
01:00:55,788 --> 01:00:57,414
Hi.
846
01:01:01,502 --> 01:01:03,726
Can I ask you something?
847
01:01:03,727 --> 01:01:05,881
I'm not going anywhere.
848
01:01:05,882 --> 01:01:10,887
What made you get into
your... profession?
849
01:01:12,389 --> 01:01:15,809
I found my boyfriend
fucking another girl.
850
01:01:16,894 --> 01:01:20,898
That's it, that's it. I knew it.
851
01:01:21,482 --> 01:01:25,194
I'm joining your posse!
852
01:01:26,404 --> 01:01:30,991
I just need to get
away from all this pain!
853
01:01:30,992 --> 01:01:32,619
You know what I realize?
854
01:01:32,620 --> 01:01:35,657
Some times you just gotta
face the music and move on.
855
01:01:35,658 --> 01:01:42,296
Blah, blah, blah,
blah. Yeah, right lady.
856
01:01:52,517 --> 01:01:57,313
"The hardest love to learn
is that which is dark.
857
01:01:57,314 --> 01:02:00,692
"The kind that causes the most pain.
858
01:02:00,693 --> 01:02:05,114
"It is up to the soul to
look past that dirty love...
859
01:02:05,115 --> 01:02:10,327
"and regain the beauty that
illuminated so bright before.
860
01:02:10,328 --> 01:02:12,706
Pure love".
861
01:02:13,791 --> 01:02:15,916
Yeah, right.
862
01:02:15,917 --> 01:02:22,716
My white pony is probably
in a glue factory by now.
863
01:02:46,995 --> 01:02:51,707
Listen, I... I had to sleep with
a 70-year old man for two years...
864
01:02:51,708 --> 01:02:53,292
to get that ring.
865
01:02:53,293 --> 01:02:55,418
You should have kept your legs together.
866
01:02:55,419 --> 01:02:57,004
You are an asshole.
867
01:02:57,005 --> 01:02:58,130
You're a slut!
868
01:02:58,131 --> 01:03:01,217
I'm aware of that but it's three karats.
869
01:03:05,514 --> 01:03:07,223
Hi!
870
01:03:09,811 --> 01:03:11,763
What have you got for me?
871
01:03:11,764 --> 01:03:14,231
A 1968 Martin V 18.
872
01:03:14,232 --> 01:03:19,404
A... a '59 Gretch Duo
Jet. A '59 Country Western...
873
01:03:19,405 --> 01:03:22,199
and a... a 66 Khoner.
874
01:03:23,409 --> 01:03:25,534
The '66 Khoner, can I see it, please?
875
01:03:25,535 --> 01:03:27,120
Yeah.
876
01:03:27,121 --> 01:03:28,831
Yeah, sure.
877
01:03:36,633 --> 01:03:38,133
Do you like it?
878
01:03:47,519 --> 01:03:49,729
I cannot believe my eyes.
879
01:03:50,731 --> 01:03:54,109
This is the very guitar I played
for my wife at our wedding.
880
01:03:54,903 --> 01:03:57,237
Are you sure it was that very guitar?
881
01:03:57,238 --> 01:03:59,615
Yes. You see this?
882
01:03:59,616 --> 01:04:02,326
R is Rajul, me.
883
01:04:02,327 --> 01:04:04,036
M is for Moronah, my wife.
884
01:04:04,037 --> 01:04:05,704
I... I always wondered what that meant.
885
01:04:05,705 --> 01:04:08,917
That's... it's pretty amazing, huh?
886
01:04:08,918 --> 01:04:11,712
No, no. It was meant to be.
887
01:04:12,713 --> 01:04:15,632
I always knew it would come back to me.
888
01:04:15,633 --> 01:04:17,509
How much do you want for it?
889
01:04:17,510 --> 01:04:19,303
Name your price.
890
01:04:19,304 --> 01:04:21,514
The others you can keep.
I have no need for them.
891
01:04:23,016 --> 01:04:25,018
$3,000?
892
01:04:32,444 --> 01:04:33,946
Done.
893
01:04:35,113 --> 01:04:37,825
Wait. Wait.
894
01:04:40,328 --> 01:04:42,621
Here's another $500.
895
01:04:42,622 --> 01:04:44,707
Thank you for taking
such good care of it.
896
01:04:45,333 --> 01:04:48,919
You are very, very
welcome. Thank, thank you.
897
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:51,505
All right. Uhm...
898
01:04:52,132 --> 01:04:53,926
good day.
899
01:05:05,813 --> 01:05:07,523
What are you doing?
900
01:05:07,524 --> 01:05:09,525
I'm practicing. Gosh!
901
01:05:09,526 --> 01:05:10,943
For what?
902
01:05:10,944 --> 01:05:14,322
It's a new kind of mating call
I read in some onion newspaper.
903
01:05:14,323 --> 01:05:17,242
It subconsciously attracts men to women.
904
01:05:17,243 --> 01:05:19,120
By making your nose squeak?
905
01:05:19,121 --> 01:05:22,540
Yeah. Why do you think I
had so many dates this week?
906
01:05:22,541 --> 01:05:23,833
'Cause you were a ho?
907
01:05:23,834 --> 01:05:25,918
Hey, John will drive us tonight, right?
908
01:05:25,919 --> 01:05:27,337
No doubt.
909
01:05:27,338 --> 01:05:31,133
Oh, my God! Look at this. Look!
910
01:05:31,134 --> 01:05:33,928
Why does it have to go
here and not my boobs?
911
01:05:33,929 --> 01:05:37,383
What you need to do is get
your titties done like me.
912
01:05:37,384 --> 01:05:40,142
I might be hungry but I look good!
913
01:05:40,143 --> 01:05:42,729
I think I'm leaning
on one of your boobs.
914
01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:45,732
I can't wait to see this band play.
915
01:05:45,733 --> 01:05:48,770
Yeah. Well, just don't puke all over the
mosh pit and you should be pretty good.
916
01:05:48,771 --> 01:05:52,358
Oh, my God. I totally forgot about that.
917
01:05:52,359 --> 01:05:54,742
Some asshole slipped me a mickey.
918
01:05:54,743 --> 01:05:56,619
That was your boyfriend, Carrie.
919
01:05:56,620 --> 01:05:58,412
Holy shit, you're right!
920
01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:00,540
It's all coming back to me now.
921
01:06:00,541 --> 01:06:02,834
He kept wanting me to go in his van.
922
01:06:02,835 --> 01:06:05,581
You have to be more
careful on who you pick up.
923
01:06:05,582 --> 01:06:07,840
Why do you think I stopped dating grips?
924
01:06:07,841 --> 01:06:11,136
I caught him pretty quick and they have
absolutely no say on the casting process.
925
01:06:11,137 --> 01:06:13,430
You've been going at
this for six years now.
926
01:06:13,431 --> 01:06:15,933
It probably wouldn't hurt to
get in some acting classes.
927
01:06:15,934 --> 01:06:20,730
Nah. I don't like how they want you
to go deep inside yourself and think.
928
01:06:20,731 --> 01:06:24,185
Hurts my head all that.
Find your inner child.
929
01:06:24,186 --> 01:06:27,820
My inner child is a dark muddy tunnel.
930
01:06:27,821 --> 01:06:29,823
I don't wanna step foot in it.
931
01:06:29,824 --> 01:06:31,658
What I can tell you from experience...
932
01:06:31,659 --> 01:06:35,036
once you face the music, you just might
see that light at the end of the tunnel.
933
01:06:35,037 --> 01:06:38,541
Honey, my light at the end of
the tunnel is an oncoming train.
934
01:06:40,335 --> 01:06:42,546
Oh, let's go, people!
935
01:06:43,422 --> 01:06:46,549
Who's the best designated
driver in the whole world?
936
01:06:46,550 --> 01:06:48,551
John is!
937
01:06:49,053 --> 01:06:51,137
Wow, I feel really buzzed.
938
01:06:51,138 --> 01:06:53,557
That's 'cause I put yak in your drink.
939
01:06:53,558 --> 01:06:54,850
Thank you.
940
01:06:54,851 --> 01:06:56,226
You're welcome.
941
01:06:56,227 --> 01:07:00,733
Oh, look at these
girls. They're chickies.
942
01:07:03,737 --> 01:07:05,446
Hi.
943
01:07:05,447 --> 01:07:08,032
Hey, man, are you, are you gay?
944
01:07:10,326 --> 01:07:12,162
No.
945
01:07:12,163 --> 01:07:15,331
Oh, man, you gotta be gay. 'Cause that's
the only way a hot chicks like that...
946
01:07:15,332 --> 01:07:17,460
would be sitting with a twinky like you.
947
01:07:23,342 --> 01:07:24,759
Hey, pork chop.
948
01:07:25,427 --> 01:07:26,635
Yeah.
949
01:07:26,636 --> 01:07:28,345
You're just a bit jealous...
950
01:07:28,346 --> 01:07:30,924
because you pump so many
steroids into your body...
951
01:07:30,925 --> 01:07:33,469
that your dicks have
completely shriveled up.
952
01:07:33,470 --> 01:07:36,938
Now him, on the other hand.
953
01:07:39,234 --> 01:07:40,525
She's right.
954
01:07:40,526 --> 01:07:43,654
He's always hard and
makes me wet all day long.
955
01:07:46,241 --> 01:07:49,244
He can tear that ass up.
You know what I'm saying?
956
01:07:49,245 --> 01:07:51,746
All up in it donkey-style.
957
01:07:59,340 --> 01:08:02,342
No. Let's go, man. Let's go.
958
01:08:07,348 --> 01:08:09,141
That was awesome.
959
01:08:09,142 --> 01:08:12,826
I think I got one of his
oily chest hairs in my mouth.
960
01:08:12,827 --> 01:08:16,566
Rebecca, I can stick up for
myself sometimes, you know.
961
01:08:16,567 --> 01:08:19,653
I know. Just helping
out a friend, that's all.
962
01:08:20,738 --> 01:08:23,365
You know, you're kinda
cute when you get turned on.
963
01:08:23,366 --> 01:08:25,951
I was not turned on.
964
01:08:26,453 --> 01:08:28,162
I beg to differ.
965
01:08:31,041 --> 01:08:33,460
Well, what do you expect?
966
01:08:34,169 --> 01:08:37,755
I'm just saying, you
know. I'm impressed.
967
01:08:39,758 --> 01:08:41,968
See me in the shower.
968
01:08:43,471 --> 01:08:45,139
Is that an invitation?
969
01:08:49,353 --> 01:08:52,273
I'm drunk.
970
01:08:54,150 --> 01:08:55,859
Come on!
971
01:08:55,860 --> 01:08:59,154
Here's to the men that we love.
972
01:08:59,155 --> 01:09:01,741
Here's to the men that love us.
973
01:09:01,742 --> 01:09:04,869
But the men that we
love will never love us...
974
01:09:04,870 --> 01:09:07,490
so fuck all the men. Here's to us!
975
01:09:07,491 --> 01:09:09,458
Word!
976
01:09:12,253 --> 01:09:15,464
Oh, God! I can't believe he's here.
977
01:09:15,465 --> 01:09:16,465
Who?
978
01:09:16,466 --> 01:09:18,968
Robert Rodale.
979
01:09:18,969 --> 01:09:21,471
That guy is probably the worst director...
980
01:09:21,472 --> 01:09:25,010
on the face of the planet. I've
seen every single one of his films.
981
01:09:25,011 --> 01:09:27,513
By now he's doing his 100
million dollar piece of crap...
982
01:09:27,514 --> 01:09:29,647
called Night vision.
983
01:09:29,648 --> 01:09:32,275
It's about some guy who can
see in the dark or something.
984
01:09:32,276 --> 01:09:33,442
Who really cares?
985
01:09:33,443 --> 01:09:35,653
When does he start shooting?
986
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:37,947
I don't know.
987
01:09:37,948 --> 01:09:41,076
Okay, Carrie, here we go.
988
01:09:42,370 --> 01:09:44,664
Ha!
989
01:09:45,248 --> 01:09:47,042
Perfect.
990
01:09:51,464 --> 01:09:54,967
That girl never ceases to amaze me.
991
01:09:55,968 --> 01:09:57,762
I don't believe it.
992
01:09:58,471 --> 01:10:00,716
You need to believe it
'cause I live with her.
993
01:10:00,717 --> 01:10:04,560
No, no, Richard's here.
994
01:10:06,772 --> 01:10:09,565
Why do people have to bump into
their exes when we get past them?
995
01:10:09,566 --> 01:10:12,778
Can't they just die after
we're done with them?
996
01:10:12,779 --> 01:10:14,397
Do you want me to go ask him to leave?
997
01:10:14,398 --> 01:10:18,867
No. No. No. Thanks, doll.
998
01:10:18,868 --> 01:10:22,455
I'm just gonna deal with
this the only way I know how.
999
01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:26,995
Becca, maybe you should just slow...
1000
01:10:26,996 --> 01:10:29,754
Oh, poo-poo on you.
1001
01:10:29,755 --> 01:10:31,709
I wanna dance. Come on.
1002
01:10:31,710 --> 01:10:33,384
John, is that you?
1003
01:10:33,385 --> 01:10:36,972
I knew we were totally
meant to be together.
1004
01:10:36,973 --> 01:10:41,060
Come on, girl, let's drop
it like it's hot. Come on.
1005
01:10:42,478 --> 01:10:44,980
You wanna drop it like
it's hot? Come here!
1006
01:12:44,905 --> 01:12:47,324
You believe in destiny?
1007
01:12:48,242 --> 01:12:49,409
I used to.
1008
01:12:49,410 --> 01:12:51,119
Wow, really?
1009
01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:54,205
I was always thinking about
becoming a scientologist.
1010
01:12:54,206 --> 01:12:55,624
They're always famous, you know.
1011
01:12:55,625 --> 01:12:57,626
Is there like an audition or something?
1012
01:12:57,627 --> 01:13:01,631
I could do a monologue
from Ron L. Hubbart.
1013
01:13:47,224 --> 01:13:49,433
Why?
1014
01:13:49,434 --> 01:13:52,229
You're right. She does
look better from a distance.
1015
01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:54,940
I don't know why.
1016
01:13:54,941 --> 01:13:56,941
Why don't you just leave us alone?
1017
01:13:56,942 --> 01:13:59,028
No, I think you do know why.
1018
01:13:59,029 --> 01:14:01,114
Because the night before you
did this, we looked at each other...
1019
01:14:01,115 --> 01:14:03,534
and said that we would
always be together.
1020
01:14:05,537 --> 01:14:06,745
And I believed you.
1021
01:14:06,746 --> 01:14:10,249
This was over a long time ago, Rebecca.
1022
01:14:11,334 --> 01:14:12,953
You just weren't giving me
what it was what I needed.
1023
01:14:12,954 --> 01:14:14,712
And what was that? Gonorrhea?
1024
01:14:14,713 --> 01:14:16,214
Sh, sh.
1025
01:14:16,215 --> 01:14:18,209
Get over yourself, Rebecca. Okay?
1026
01:14:18,210 --> 01:14:20,218
I don't give a shit about you.
1027
01:14:20,219 --> 01:14:22,429
I don't know if I ever did.
1028
01:14:22,430 --> 01:14:24,848
Why don't you just get
the fuck away from us, huh?
1029
01:14:38,322 --> 01:14:41,317
You see? I told you.
1030
01:14:41,318 --> 01:14:44,745
You and me. You and me.
1031
01:14:48,917 --> 01:14:52,546
Hi. That was so hot.
1032
01:14:55,133 --> 01:14:56,634
Rebecca!
1033
01:15:03,851 --> 01:15:05,518
Fuck!
1034
01:15:05,519 --> 01:15:07,647
Excuse me!
1035
01:15:13,945 --> 01:15:15,029
Yeah?
1036
01:15:15,030 --> 01:15:16,656
Do you wanna have sex?
1037
01:15:16,657 --> 01:15:17,823
What?
1038
01:15:17,824 --> 01:15:20,243
I'm totally gonna have sex with you.
1039
01:15:22,955 --> 01:15:24,623
What do I gotta do?
1040
01:15:24,624 --> 01:15:27,751
Nothing. I mean, you can try a
cheesy line on me but why bother.
1041
01:15:27,752 --> 01:15:31,047
What I'm telling you is no matter
what you do you're gonna get laid.
1042
01:15:32,131 --> 01:15:33,340
I don't get it!
1043
01:15:33,341 --> 01:15:35,635
But you're going to.
1044
01:15:38,054 --> 01:15:39,639
Let's go.
1045
01:15:46,147 --> 01:15:47,941
Can I buy you a drink?
1046
01:15:48,734 --> 01:15:51,362
I don't know. Can you?
1047
01:15:52,238 --> 01:15:54,656
I was thinking about
getting my boobs done.
1048
01:15:54,657 --> 01:15:56,741
But then I decided not to.
1049
01:15:56,742 --> 01:15:58,660
You wouldn't be able
to see my inner beauty.
1050
01:15:58,661 --> 01:16:02,040
I would just be like every other
manufactured Barbie doll in this town.
1051
01:16:02,041 --> 01:16:05,077
Just seeking constant
attention from every one.
1052
01:16:05,078 --> 01:16:07,963
Hey... are you listening to me?
1053
01:16:07,964 --> 01:16:10,757
I wouldn't let a
plastic surgeon go near.
1054
01:16:10,758 --> 01:16:12,342
I wouldn't go that far.
1055
01:16:12,343 --> 01:16:15,762
I could have my nose done and I
could have collagen put in my lips.
1056
01:16:15,763 --> 01:16:19,433
And you can be damn sure when I turn
35, I'm getting the full face pull.
1057
01:16:19,434 --> 01:16:20,726
Hey, baby.
1058
01:16:20,727 --> 01:16:22,228
Where have you been?
1059
01:16:22,229 --> 01:16:24,147
Right here waiting for you.
1060
01:16:26,567 --> 01:16:28,068
Who's she?
1061
01:16:28,069 --> 01:16:30,653
Just some skank who wants in my movie.
1062
01:16:30,654 --> 01:16:33,240
Hey asshole, I heard that.
1063
01:16:33,241 --> 01:16:34,659
Good!
1064
01:16:34,660 --> 01:16:37,280
You know, one day I'm gonna be big...
1065
01:16:37,281 --> 01:16:38,830
and you'll be sorry.
1066
01:16:38,831 --> 01:16:41,833
Sure, sweetheart. From
your lips to God's ears.
1067
01:16:41,834 --> 01:16:43,961
So why don't you go find
another dick to suck?
1068
01:16:43,962 --> 01:16:46,172
'Cause my movie is cast.
1069
01:16:47,966 --> 01:16:49,258
You know what?
1070
01:16:49,259 --> 01:16:51,260
It's guys like you that make girls think...
1071
01:16:51,261 --> 01:16:53,346
they have to play your
tickle my dick game...
1072
01:16:53,347 --> 01:16:55,848
to get anywhere in this fucking town.
1073
01:16:55,849 --> 01:16:57,642
Not anymore.
1074
01:16:57,643 --> 01:17:00,145
In fact, why don't you take
care of your own pencil dick...
1075
01:17:00,146 --> 01:17:02,273
and give the new girls in
this town a little bit of time...
1076
01:17:02,274 --> 01:17:06,152
to show their stuff before you
rape them of any chance they've got.
1077
01:17:07,362 --> 01:17:10,574
There're some people over for an
after-hour. You're welcome to join us.
1078
01:17:11,032 --> 01:17:13,903
What? Your mommy out of town?
1079
01:17:13,904 --> 01:17:16,163
That's funny.
1080
01:17:20,544 --> 01:17:21,961
So,
1081
01:17:23,338 --> 01:17:24,463
you good in bed?
1082
01:17:24,464 --> 01:17:26,966
'Cause if you're gonna point and shoot...
1083
01:17:26,967 --> 01:17:28,551
then I ain't interested.
1084
01:17:28,552 --> 01:17:32,473
You see, a woman needs
some warm up, you know.
1085
01:17:32,474 --> 01:17:35,560
Some pregame. You know what I'm saying?
1086
01:17:36,061 --> 01:17:37,437
You know you're white, right?
1087
01:17:37,438 --> 01:17:39,648
Don't you ever call me that.
1088
01:17:41,567 --> 01:17:44,500
You're kinda cute for a white boy.
1089
01:17:44,501 --> 01:17:47,399
Hey, Michelle, let's get out of here.
1090
01:17:47,400 --> 01:17:48,866
I was gonna go to this...
1091
01:17:48,867 --> 01:17:51,161
No, let's just go.
1092
01:17:51,870 --> 01:17:54,746
All right. I gotta go.
1093
01:17:54,747 --> 01:17:56,750
That's cool. I'll see you later.
1094
01:18:01,965 --> 01:18:05,878
What the fuck was that, you
fucking pussy? You let her get away?
1095
01:18:05,879 --> 01:18:09,054
I was onstage with a fucking
girl. I was gonna fuck her!
1096
01:18:12,142 --> 01:18:14,769
You like what I'm doing, baby?
1097
01:18:14,770 --> 01:18:16,646
Yeah, just don't talk.
1098
01:18:26,867 --> 01:18:29,870
What the hell? Ouch!
1099
01:18:30,872 --> 01:18:34,458
It's not bubble gum. You don't chew it.
1100
01:18:35,251 --> 01:18:38,879
Sorry. I... I can, I can do it better.
1101
01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:40,965
No. No.
1102
01:18:42,550 --> 01:18:43,968
I can't do this.
1103
01:18:43,969 --> 01:18:46,346
This is so stupid. I'm
not gonna sleep with you.
1104
01:18:46,347 --> 01:18:48,765
Come on! Just give me another chance.
1105
01:18:49,350 --> 01:18:50,767
It's not you, it's me.
1106
01:18:50,768 --> 01:18:53,270
Why the hell the chicks always say that?
1107
01:18:53,271 --> 01:18:57,483
I don't know. Hormones, morals,
12 years of catholic school.
1108
01:18:59,653 --> 01:19:01,279
All right.
1109
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:02,781
Can we see each other again?
1110
01:19:02,782 --> 01:19:05,450
I don't wanna see anybody for a while.
1111
01:19:05,451 --> 01:19:08,287
At least till I know it's right.
1112
01:19:10,749 --> 01:19:12,666
But let me give you a tip.
1113
01:19:12,667 --> 01:19:16,254
Buy yourself a mango, cut
it in half and practice.
1114
01:19:35,068 --> 01:19:36,985
What's wrong with girls?
1115
01:19:36,986 --> 01:19:39,362
Why do we feel the need to
sleep with someone for revenge?
1116
01:19:39,363 --> 01:19:41,858
I don't know how we let
guys make us feel this way.
1117
01:19:41,859 --> 01:19:44,368
We're supposed to be
spiritually stronger than men...
1118
01:19:44,369 --> 01:19:46,955
yet I feel like we are so much weaker.
1119
01:19:46,956 --> 01:19:50,876
I don't know. Maybe we do it
because we need to feel wanted.
1120
01:19:52,461 --> 01:19:55,172
Maybe it's just to
fill that deep dark hole...
1121
01:19:55,173 --> 01:19:58,968
to make some of that pain
go away. A little company.
1122
01:20:01,053 --> 01:20:04,683
Or maybe it's okay to just take
time and go through things alone.
1123
01:20:06,268 --> 01:20:10,273
God! Why does love have to be so cruel?
1124
01:21:14,594 --> 01:21:16,470
Why did you do this, John?
1125
01:21:16,471 --> 01:21:18,890
I did it 'cause...
1126
01:21:19,975 --> 01:21:22,602
Becca, you're the most
beautiful girl in the world...
1127
01:21:22,603 --> 01:21:25,932
and when you are happy
you face lights up so much...
1128
01:21:25,933 --> 01:21:27,774
and I hated seeing you unhappy.
1129
01:21:27,775 --> 01:21:31,194
And I knew that if I got you this stuff...
1130
01:21:31,195 --> 01:21:35,108
your world would come together and
would, and would make your life better...
1131
01:21:35,109 --> 01:21:40,080
and... you deserve the
best life in the world.
1132
01:21:56,308 --> 01:21:58,392
I can't.
1133
01:22:00,771 --> 01:22:02,480
I can't do this.
1134
01:22:02,481 --> 01:22:03,981
No.
1135
01:22:06,568 --> 01:22:08,987
It just won't work.
1136
01:22:12,784 --> 01:22:13,867
Why?
1137
01:22:13,868 --> 01:22:15,995
I'm sorry.
1138
01:22:38,187 --> 01:22:40,104
John!
1139
01:22:41,481 --> 01:22:43,191
John.
1140
01:23:36,918 --> 01:23:38,587
John.
1141
01:23:39,087 --> 01:23:40,880
John.
1142
01:23:40,881 --> 01:23:44,593
Please, John, just get in
the car. I'm begging you.
1143
01:23:45,512 --> 01:23:48,424
Listen, I never meant to hurt you.
1144
01:23:48,425 --> 01:23:49,890
I've been through so much...
1145
01:23:49,891 --> 01:23:53,053
that... I just can't handle
being in a relationship right now.
1146
01:23:53,054 --> 01:23:55,313
Rebecca, do you know that
I've been in love with you...
1147
01:23:55,314 --> 01:23:57,607
since the very first moment I saw you?
1148
01:23:58,317 --> 01:24:00,318
I really thought that if I was patient...
1149
01:24:00,319 --> 01:24:03,781
things would just work itself
out, and I sat there and I watched.
1150
01:24:03,782 --> 01:24:07,527
When it just seemed like you'd rather
be with someone who treated you like shit...
1151
01:24:07,528 --> 01:24:10,914
than someone who really
fucking cared about you!
1152
01:24:11,999 --> 01:24:15,084
Here I am, Rebecca. Here I am.
1153
01:24:18,088 --> 01:24:21,251
You know, I'm putting
my heart on the line here...
1154
01:24:21,252 --> 01:24:23,219
and you don't seem to care at all.
1155
01:24:23,886 --> 01:24:28,517
I do... I do.
1156
01:24:29,102 --> 01:24:30,602
Why?
1157
01:24:36,401 --> 01:24:38,110
Why?
1158
01:24:40,697 --> 01:24:42,198
Forget it.
1159
01:24:43,325 --> 01:24:46,704
You know? I think I'd
really rather take the bus.
1160
01:24:50,291 --> 01:24:52,501
I'm scared.
1161
01:24:58,008 --> 01:24:59,509
Fuck!
1161
01:25:21,129 --> 01:25:23,331
Shit.
1162
01:25:32,129 --> 01:25:33,631
Pony.
1163
01:25:37,010 --> 01:25:39,011
White pony.
1164
01:25:41,932 --> 01:25:45,393
You're my white pony.
1165
01:25:48,731 --> 01:25:51,203
I guess what we're supposed
to do is find someone...
1166
01:25:51,204 --> 01:25:53,527
whose soul illuminates
as bright as yours.
1167
01:25:53,528 --> 01:25:56,030
To grow with in all the right ways.
1168
01:25:56,906 --> 01:26:00,993
John, you're my white pony. Yeah!
1169
01:26:00,994 --> 01:26:02,704
Stop the bus. Hey!
1170
01:26:03,497 --> 01:26:04,913
Stop the bus!
1171
01:26:04,914 --> 01:26:06,625
Becca!
1172
01:26:11,214 --> 01:26:12,798
Are you all right?
1173
01:26:14,009 --> 01:26:15,635
John.
1174
01:26:16,721 --> 01:26:19,097
You're my white pony!
1175
01:26:35,617 --> 01:26:37,408
Once you let go of dirty love,
1176
01:26:37,409 --> 01:26:41,705
your heart can open up to the
highest love of all... pure love.
1177
01:26:42,999 --> 01:26:46,503
The kind of love you've
waited your whole life for.
1178
01:27:23,127 --> 01:27:26,421
Just fucking globs of that!
1179
01:27:29,843 --> 01:27:31,427
That's good.
1180
01:27:31,428 --> 01:27:33,930
That was beautiful.
1181
01:27:34,724 --> 01:27:36,432
Thanks.
1182
01:27:42,231 --> 01:27:44,107
I got to go.
1183
01:27:46,820 --> 01:27:49,947
Take once a day to avoid outbreaks.
1184
01:27:49,948 --> 01:27:51,407
This is amazing.
1185
01:27:51,408 --> 01:27:54,911
I can't wait to tell
my friends all about it.
1186
01:28:07,510 --> 01:28:09,511
Es ma'gico.
(It's my thing)
1187
01:28:11,848 --> 01:28:17,019
Touch my baass.
1188
01:28:17,020 --> 01:28:20,231
Touch my fucking bass.
1189
01:28:24,278 --> 01:28:25,862
Yeah?
84718
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