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1
00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,380
HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:04,848
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT
PREPARING FOR MY LAWSUIT
3
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:07,817
YOU KNOW, ABOUT THAT
ALLEGEDLY SEXIST CARTOON I PUT UP.
4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,786
I'M, UH, DEFENDING MYSELF.
5
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,921
SO, UH, I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE
6
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,457
THAT THE DREW CAREY
LEGAL DEFENSE FUND
7
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,725
IS NOW ACCEPTING
DONATIONS FOR COURT COSTS.
8
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:18,828
COME ON, FOR 20 BUCKS, YOU GET A
FRONT ROW SEAT IN THE COURTROOM.
9
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,720
FOR 50 BUCKS, YOU GET TO SIT
ON MY LAP IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.
10
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,634
OH, WELL. THANKS FOR
LETTING ME IN YOUR CARPOOL.
11
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,669
WELL, WE NEEDED ANOTHER MEMBER
12
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,506
SINCE BERGMAN IN HOUSEWARES
FELL OFF THE WAGON.
13
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,141
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
14
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,476
UM, I-I DRINK BEER,
15
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,645
BUT I'M ONLY KILLING TIME
UNTIL MY INTERVENTION.
16
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,848
WE'RE NOT ALCOHOLICS. THIS
IS THE EX-SMOKERS' CARPOOL.
17
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,985
OH, GOOD FOR YOU.
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?
18
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,542
NO TALKING!
19
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:48,858
[TURNS ON RADIO]
20
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,160
HEY! HEY! HEY!
21
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,594
JEEZ, SORRY.
22
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,763
[SIGHS]
23
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,833
♪ HOW'S IT GOIN' BACK THERE? ♪
24
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,368
♪ YOU DIDN'T SAY NO SINGIN' ♪
25
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,103
♪ YOU ONLY SAID NO TALKIN' ♪
26
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,739
♪ HOW'S IT GOIN' BACK THERE? ♪
27
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,908
I NEED A PIECE OF NICOTINE GUM.
28
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:08,033
UH, I HAVE SOME
CHICLETS IF THAT'LL HELP.
29
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:14,784
MAN. NEXT WEEK I'M GETTIN'
A RIDE WITH THE ALCOHOLICS.
30
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:15,919
THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS GET TO WORK,
31
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,642
BUT AT LEAST THEY
HAVE FUN TRYING.
32
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,194
OH, JOHNSON.
33
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,695
UH... THOSE ARE
CANDY CIGARETTES.
34
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,397
THAT'S PART OF MY THERAPY.
35
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,932
HERE, I'LL TAKE THOSE. AH-AH!
36
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,868
NO, JOHNSON, THESE SMELL
LIKE REAL CIGARETTES TO ME.
37
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,370
UNFILTERED, EXTRA TAR.
38
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,038
THEY DON'T EVEN
HAVE A WARNING LABEL.
39
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,540
COME ON, GIVE 'EM HERE!
40
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,508
AH, AH, AH! I'M GONNA
DROP THEM. I'LL DROP THEM.
41
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,678
NOW I'M MR. POPULARITY
ALL OF A SUDDEN, HUH?
42
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:44,814
NOW WE'RE GONNA
DO THINGS MY WAY.
43
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:45,949
READY?
44
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,718
♪ FOR DREW'S A
JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
45
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,987
♪ FOR DREW'S A
JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
46
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:53,123
♪ FOR DREW'S A
JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪
47
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,757
BIG FINISH. COME ON.
48
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,960
♪ AND SO SAY ALL OF US ♪
49
00:01:56,984 --> 00:02:02,065
♪ MOON OVER PARMA, BRING
MY LOVE TO ME TONIGHT ♪
50
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:06,169
♪ GOT HER TO CLEVELAND
UNDERNEATH YOUR SILVERY LIGHT ♪
51
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,105
♪ WE'RE GOIN' BOWLIN' ♪
52
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,240
♪ SO DON'T LOSE
HER IN SOLON... ♪
53
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,731
♪ MOON OVER PARMA TONIGHT ♪
54
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,568
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
55
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,116
UH, HELLO, PHILLIP?
56
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,617
YEAH, THIS IS DREW SMITH
57
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,819
FROM THE CLEVELAND
BAR ASSOCIATION.
58
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,255
I'M CALLING ALL THE LAWYERS
59
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,924
TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE
UP TO SNUFF ON, UH...
60
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,626
THE LAWS.
61
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,228
SO, POP QUIZ...
62
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,662
HOW WOULD YOU DEFEND A GUY
63
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:35,398
WHO'S BEING SUED
BY ANOTHER EMPLOYEE
64
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:40,136
FOR DISPLAYING A CARTOON OF A
CATERPILLAR MAKING IT WITH A FRENCH FRY?
65
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,439
YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S
THE ONE. UH-HUH.
66
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,740
OK, MAXWELL VS... WAIT.
67
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,443
MAXWELL VS. THOMAS,
'71. RIGHT, 1971...
68
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,245
UH, OVERTURNED ON APPEAL. RIGHT.
69
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,047
APPURTENANCES NOTWITHSTANDING.
70
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,991
CAN YOU SPELL
"APPURTENANCES" FOR ME?
71
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,386
SO... OH, WAIT, I CAN'T
KEEP... WAIT, LISTEN...
72
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,087
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
73
00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,422
LISTEN, CAN YOU
JUST TELL ME THE NAME
74
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:00,924
OF A GOOD KIELBASY,
YOU KNOW, HOT DOG STAND
75
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,591
RIGHT BY THE STATE
COURT BUILDING?
76
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:04,327
UH-HUH, THANKS.
77
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,632
OK, YOU PASS THIS
TIME, BUT JUST WATCH IT.
78
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,400
HEY.
79
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:11,467
HOW'S IT GOING, DREW?
80
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:14,404
WELL, AFTER A GREAT
DEAL OF LEGAL RESEARCH,
81
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:16,239
I CAME UP WITH A STRATEGY.
82
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,074
I GOT $10,000 AND A
FAKE BEARD IN MY CAR.
83
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,342
ANYBODY WANNA GO TO CANADA?
84
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,245
I'M NEVER GONNA WIN THIS CASE.
85
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,746
THERE'S TOO MUCH TO GO THROUGH.
86
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,481
I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING IN
THOSE BOOKS THAT'LL HELP ME.
87
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:26,816
HOW'D YOUR RESEARCH GO?
88
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,318
WELL, GOOD NEWS.
89
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,519
I DID FIND ONE CASE WHERE
SOMEONE WHO WASN'T A LAWYER
90
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,655
MANAGED TO SUCCESSFULLY
DEFEND THEMSELVES IN COURT.
91
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,891
NOW, IT WAS BACK
IN 1692... "McINTOSH...
92
00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:38,328
"MclNTOSH VS. SALEM."
93
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,229
LEWIS, THIS WOULDN'T
HAPPEN TO BE A WITCH TRIAL,
94
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:41,230
WOULD IT?
95
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,966
WELL, IT DOESN'T SPECIFY.
96
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,268
BUT THIS McINTOSH WOMAN
GOT ALL HER CHARGES DROPPED
97
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,903
BY ALLOWING HERSELF
TO BE BURNED TO DEATH.
98
00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:51,007
SO IT CAN BE DONE.
99
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,475
AND THE BAD NEWS?
100
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:53,809
FREEDOM OF SPEECH PROTECTION
101
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,079
DOESN'T APPLY TO CASES
OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
102
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,681
HOW DID I HARASS NORA BY
PUTTING UP THAT CARTOON?
103
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,683
DEFINE SEXUAL HARASSMENT FOR ME.
104
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,018
WELL, SIMPLY PUT,
105
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:05,355
"SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS ANY
UNWELCOME SEXUAL ADVANCE."
106
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,178
THAT'S EVERY SEXUAL
ADVANCE I MAKE.
107
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:11,094
OH, DREW, I KNOW A LOT OF WOMEN
108
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,929
WHO WOULD FIND YOUR SEXUAL
ADVANCES PERFECTLY WELCOME.
109
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,865
OH, YEAH, GIVE ME
YOUR BEST THREE.
110
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,523
THREE? YOU WANT THREE?
111
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:20,870
HOW 'BOUT YOU?
112
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,105
DID YOU GET ANY
DIRT ON THIS WOMAN?
113
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,207
WELL, I FOLLOWED
HER LIKE YOU SAID,
114
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,175
AND I GOT A LOT OF PICTURES.
115
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:31,314
OK, THIS IS SOME LITTER
I THINK NORA DROPPED.
116
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:34,183
THIS IS A PARKING
METER THAT RAN OUT
117
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:36,319
RIGHT AFTER NORA DROVE OFF.
118
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:39,622
THESE ARE SOME REAL
YOUNG KIDS SMOKING.
119
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,824
THIS IS A GHETTO.
120
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:43,893
THIS IS HATRED,
121
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,883
AND THIS IS HUNGER.
122
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,731
WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS
HAVE TO DO WITH NORA?
123
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:51,067
NOTHING.
124
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,936
I'M SORRY, DREW. I
COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING.
125
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,406
[SIGHS] WELL, I MIGHT AS
WELL GET THIS OVER WITH.
126
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,241
I NEED A BIG FAVOR
FROM YOU GUYS.
127
00:04:58,265 --> 00:04:59,808
ON THE OFF CHANCE
THAT I LOSE THIS CASE,
128
00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,344
I WANT TO MAKE SURE MY
ASSETS ARE PROTECTED.
129
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:04,547
SO, KATE, I NEED
YOU TO SIGN HERE.
130
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,249
TAKE THE TITLE TO MY CAR.
131
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,751
AND, LEWIS, BUDDY, I NEED
YOUR SIGNATURE HERE.
132
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,253
YOU TAKE OVER THE
DEED TO MY HOUSE.
133
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:13,556
OH, I DON'T KNOW, DREW, I
WAS HOPING MY FIRST HOME
134
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,861
MIGHT BE SOMETHING
A LITTLE NICER.
135
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,365
WOW, EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH,
136
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,533
SALESMAN OF THE YEAR.
137
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,102
THIS IS A VERY IMPRESSIVE
RESUME, MR. SCHULTZ.
138
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,171
UH, I JUST HAVE
ONE LAST QUESTION.
139
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,205
UM...
140
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,174
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THAT CARTOON?
141
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,543
UH... IT'S FUNNY,
142
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,877
VERY CLEVER.
143
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,011
I'M GLAD YOU JUST
SAID THAT BECAUSE,
144
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,280
SEE, HERE AT WINFRED-LOUDER,
145
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,747
WE JUST DON'T WANT
THE BEST SALESMEN,
146
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:41,651
WE WANT THE SALESMEN WITH
THE BEST SENSE OF HUMOR.
147
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,529
PEOPLE WITHOUT
HUMOR CAUSE TROUBLE.
148
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,078
HA HA HA HA!
149
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:51,260
OH, THAT REMINDS ME OF A JOKE.
150
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,728
AH, BUT I SHOULDN'T.
151
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,997
COME ON, YOU CAN TELL ME.
152
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,031
OH, IT'S A BIT OFF-COLOR.
153
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,900
I WON'T TELL.
154
00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:01,904
OK. THREE GUYS GO
INTO A BAR, MR. SCHULTZ.
155
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:05,941
A PRIEST, A RABBI, AND A KRAUT.
156
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:08,478
UH-HUH.
157
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,480
I'M SORRY. DID I SAY KRAUT?
158
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,216
I MEANT, A PRIEST, A
RABBI, AND AN... INDIAN.
159
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,452
AMERICAN INDIAN OR
INDIAN FROM INDIA?
160
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,254
BOTH.
161
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,856
GOTCHA.
162
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,192
ACTUALLY, IT WAS A
PRIEST, A RABBI, A KRAUT,
163
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,694
TWO INDIANS, THREE
FEMINISTS, A DOLPHIN, A GAY GUY,
164
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,997
AND A HONKY.
165
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,999
GO ON.
166
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,503
MR. SCHULTZ, WELCOME
TO WINFRED-LOUDER.
167
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,074
OH, DREW, I'VE GOT A
LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
168
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,676
I GOT A LITTLE
SOMETHING FOR YOU, TOO,
169
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,981
BUT THE OTHER ONE'S
JAMMED IN THE CHAMBER.
170
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:47,583
YOU KNOW, I THINK, UH...
171
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,784
I THINK HITLER'S
IN THAT JOKE, TOO.
172
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,128
TAKE IT EASY, PAL,
YOU GOT THE JOB.
173
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,855
MIMI, IS THIS THING FOR REAL?
174
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,323
NEW COMPANY POLICY.
175
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,959
ANY BIG WORDS YOU
WANT ME TO EXPLAIN?
176
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,162
THEY CAN'T FORCE PEOPLE TO TAKE
DOWN ALL THEIR PERSONAL STUFF
177
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,796
JUST BECAUSE IT MIGHT
OFFEND SOMEBODY.
178
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,366
"CALENDARS, RELIGIOUS SYMBOLS,
PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHS."
179
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,900
THIS COVERS EVERYTHING.
180
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,591
NOT QUITE. YOU'RE STILL HERE.
181
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:10,640
OH, LIKE YOU COULD THROW ME OUT.
182
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,264
I'D LIKE TO TRY.
183
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,883
WAIT, LET ME CALL
THE NATURE CHANNEL
184
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,027
SO I CAN GET THIS ONE ON TAPE.
185
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,124
HEY.
186
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:31,360
HEY. THANKS FOR COMIN'.
187
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:34,197
SO, UH, DO I LOOK LIKE A LAWYER?
188
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,265
YEAH, IF YOU'RE
DEBATING LINCOLN.
189
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,767
WELL, I THINK I LOOK GOOD.
190
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,504
I'M HOPING THE OTHER
LAWYERS WEAR CLAM DIGGERS.
191
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,306
YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT.
192
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:46,542
I AM SO PROUD OF
YOU RIGHT NOW, MAN.
193
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,744
I MEAN, THIS IS SCARY AS HELL.
194
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,713
YOU'RE DEFENDING YOURSELF
AGAINST REAL LAWYERS
195
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,916
KNOWING NEXT TO NOTHING
ABOUT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM,
196
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,252
AND THEN SOME JUDGE,
WHO'S A COMPLETE STRANGER,
197
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,654
IS GONNA DECIDE YOUR FATE.
198
00:07:58,678 --> 00:07:59,977
WOW!
199
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:07,017
OH, THOSE KIELBASIES AREN'T
SITTIN' SO GOOD RIGHT NOW.
200
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,206
MR. CAREY, I JUST, UH,
201
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,475
WANT TO WISH YOU GOOD
LUCK BEFORE WE GET STARTED.
202
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,843
I GOTTA ADMIRE SOMEBODY
WITH THE COURAGE
203
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,245
TO DEFEND THEMSELVES.
204
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,379
WELL, YOU DON'T NEED A LAWYER
205
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,480
WHEN YOU HAVE
TRUTH ON YOUR SIDE.
206
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,337
[LAUGHING]
207
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,686
AND THUNDER, THAT'S
JUST GOD BOWLING.
208
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,155
[LAUGHING]
209
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,257
HA HA HA...
210
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,113
I'M SCREWED.
211
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:41,051
ALL RISE FOR THE
HONORABLE JUDGE WHITE.
212
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:48,203
MORNING, EVERYONE.
PLEASE BE SEATED.
213
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,972
IF THE PROSECUTION HAS
AN OPENING STATEMENT,
214
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,307
IT MAY BEGIN.
215
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,475
BEFORE THAT, YOUR HONOR,
216
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,644
I'D LIKE TO MOTION THAT
THIS CASE BE DISMISSED
217
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:57,179
ON THE GROUNDS THAT IT'S
JUST ANOTHER NUISANCE LAWSUIT
218
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,650
THAT'S WASTING TAXPAYER
MONEY AND YOUR VALUABLE TIME,
219
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,507
WHICH COULD BE
BETTER SPENT MODELING.
220
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:08,324
GIVEN THAT THIS IS A CASE
ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT,
221
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,493
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
REPHRASE THAT, MR. CAREY?
222
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,995
IT WAS THE MODELING PART, RIGHT?
223
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,664
JUST DON'T TAKE THAT DOWN.
224
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,499
HEY, STOP TYPING.
225
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:17,900
KNOCK IT OFF.
226
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,557
I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!
227
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,894
THE PERSON WHO
TYPES THIS IS AN IDIOT.
228
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,312
SIT DOWN, MR. CAREY.
229
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,636
THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.
230
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,852
YOUR HONOR, THE
PROSECUTION WILL PRESENT
231
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,821
A PREPONDERANCE OF EVIDENCE
232
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,656
THAT THE DEFENDANT,
MR. DREW CAREY,
233
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,825
HARASSED THE PLAINTIFF,
MS. NORA O'DOUGHERTY,
234
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:45,260
BY FORCING HER TO
READ OFFENSIVE MATERIAL
235
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:46,762
INCLUDED IN A COMPANY MEMO.
236
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:50,466
AND THIS LED TO THE CREATION
OF A HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT.
237
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,435
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
238
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,102
IF THE DEFENSE HAS
AN OPENING STATEMENT,
239
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,471
YOU MAY BEGIN.
240
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,806
YOUR HONOR, I WILL SHOW
241
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,273
THAT THIS CASE IS
COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.
242
00:09:58,297 --> 00:09:59,442
WE'LL ALL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH
243
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:00,810
AND THEN DRINKS ARE ON ME.
244
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,299
All: HEY! ALL RIGHT!
245
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,248
MS. BOBECK, WOULD
YOU MIND TELLING US
246
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,116
YOUR REACTION WHEN
YOU SAW THE CARTOON?
247
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,952
I THOUGHT IT WAS SEXIST.
248
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,454
THE FRENCH FRY WAS SAYING NO,
249
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,918
BUT THE CATERPILLAR
WAS FORCING HER.
250
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,492
OBJECTION.
251
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:17,993
YOUR HONOR, THE WITNESS
IS EXPRESSING OPINION
252
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,829
REGARDING THE GENDER
OF THE FRENCH FRY.
253
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,365
THE CARTOON DOESN'T SAY
WHETHER THE FRY IS FEMALE.
254
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,166
YES, BUT THE FRENCH
FRY IS BRING MOUNTED.
255
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:28,871
YES, BUT MEN CAN BE
MOUNTED, YOU KNOW, SOME MEN.
256
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,272
SUSTAINED.
257
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,974
WHOO! YEAH!
258
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,498
[GAVEL BANGS]
259
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:35,911
SORRY, YOUR HONOR.
IT'S JUST... YOU KNOW,
260
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,680
IT'S MY... IT'S MY
FIRST OBJECTION.
261
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:40,337
NO FURTHER
QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR.
262
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,553
THE DEFENSE MAY CROSS-EXAMINE.
263
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:48,212
UH, MISS BOBECK, IF
THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME...
264
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,494
WOULD YOU MIND TELLING THE COURT
265
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,996
EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD
ME IN THE COURT HALLWAY
266
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,264
RIGHT BEFORE WE
STARTED THIS MORNING?
267
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,655
AND REMEMBER,
THERE WERE WITNESSES.
268
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:05,775
I SAID, "I THINK YOU'RE
A DISGUSTING PIG,
269
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:09,678
AND I HATE YOUR GUTS WITH
AN ALL-CONSUMING PASSION."
270
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:10,979
AFTER THAT.
271
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:14,517
I'D DO ANYTHING I HAVE
TO TO GET YOU PUT AWAY.
272
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,218
AFTER THAT.
273
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,976
YOU FOUR-EYED BUTT WEASEL.
274
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,192
YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE YOU TO CONSIDER
THIS WITNESS' TESTIMONY IMPEACHED.
275
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,228
AND I'D ALSO REQUEST
A 10-MINUTE RECESS
276
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,619
BECAUSE, WELL, THAT HURT.
277
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:33,569
DR. SINGER, IN YOUR
OPINION AS A PSYCHIATRIST,
278
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,771
DOES MS. O'DOUGHERTY SUFFER
FROM ANY OF THE SYMPTOMS
279
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:39,007
COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH BEING
A VICTIM OF A HOSTILE WORKPLACE?
280
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,632
YES, SHE SUFFERS
FROM ALL OF THEM.
281
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,837
NO FURTHER
QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR.
282
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,454
DR. SINGER, WOULD
YOU MIND TELLING US
283
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,823
EXACTLY, YOU KNOW, WHAT
THOSE SYMPTOMS ARE?
284
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,460
WELL, THE VICTIM OFTEN
SUFFERS A LOSS OF SELF-ESTEEM.
285
00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:00,062
THEY MAY FEEL ABUSED, WORTHLESS,
286
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,565
AND HAVE DIFFICULTY
PERFORMING THEIR JOB.
287
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,767
THAT'S HALF THE
COUNTRY ON A MONDAY.
288
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,235
ISN'T IT POSSIBLE THAT SHE
SUFFERED FROM THESE SYMPTOMS
289
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,438
BEFORE SHE SAW THE CARTOON?
290
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,773
OH, IT'S POSSIBLE,
291
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,475
BUT IN LIGHT OF THAT
CARTOON, I DON'T SEE HOW...
292
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,710
DR. SINGER, DID YOU
EVEN SEE THE CARTOON
293
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,912
THAT OFFENDED MISS
O'DOUGHERTY? YES.
294
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:19,414
WELL, THEN, TELL THE
TRUTH... DID YOU FIND IT FUNNY?
295
00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:21,049
NO.
296
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,217
REALLY? NOT A LITTLE BIT?
297
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,619
NOT EVEN A CHUCKLE OR A SMIRK?
298
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,820
NO.
299
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:28,491
WELL, THEN, DR. SINGER,
JUST WHAT DO YOU FIND FUNNY?
300
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,347
PAULY SHORE.
301
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,318
NO FURTHER
QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR.
302
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:40,235
AND WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN
YOU SAW THE CARTOON, MRS. O'DOUGHERTY?
303
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:41,570
HOW DID IT MAKE YOU FEEL?
304
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:46,230
I FELT HARASSED... SEXUALLY.
305
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:52,180
AND IT MADE MY WORKPLACE
FEEL VERY HOSTILE.
306
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:55,551
AND DID THIS AFFECT YOUR
PERFORMANCE ON THE JOB?
307
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:56,952
OH, NOT AT FIRST.
308
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,687
BUT THEN HE PUT THAT CARTOON UP
309
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,188
ON THE WALL OF HIS CUBICLE,
310
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:02,725
AND I HAD TO FACE IT EVERY DAY.
311
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,894
I COULDN'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT IT.
312
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,963
I COULDN'T SLEEP,
I COULDN'T EAT.
313
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,420
I...
314
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:14,792
THAT CATERPILLAR IS SMILING.
315
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,575
YOUR HONOR, I REQUEST
A SHORT RECESS.
316
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,577
THIS HAS BEEN VERY
DIFFICULT FOR MY CLIENT.
317
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,745
GRANTED.
318
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,069
THE COURT WILL TAKE
A 15-MINUTE RECESS.
319
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,522
HEY, CALL ME CRAZY,
320
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,646
BUT I THINK WE GOT THEM.
321
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,166
MAN, IF I WASN'T IN
DEEP ENOUGH ALREADY.
322
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,301
THE JUDGE IS TOUGH,
HER LAWYER'S A SHARK,
323
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,725
AND THESE SUSPENDERS
ARE CHAFFING MY NIPPLES.
324
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:53,976
AND NORA WITH THAT CRYING.
325
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,310
I MEAN, COME ON.
326
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,146
SHE MUST HAVE BEEN UP
ALL NIGHT REHEARSING THAT.
327
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,148
WELL, TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME.
328
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,050
WHEN I TESTIFY TOMORROW,
JUST GIVE ME THE SIGNAL
329
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,152
AND THE TEARS WILL POUR.
330
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,319
I TELL YOU, CRYING HAS GOTTEN ME
331
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,921
OUT OF FIGHTS AND
SPEEDING TICKETS
332
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,256
AND REALLY BAD SEX.
333
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,058
THERE'S A GREAT
STORY BEHIND THAT ONE,
334
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,193
BUT IT'S NOT FLATTERING.
335
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:14,196
DREW, I CAN MAKE MYSELF SNEEZE.
336
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,532
I CAN VOMIT AT WILL.
337
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:18,934
LISTEN, THANKS, GUYS,
338
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,435
BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING
TO COME DOWN TO THAT.
339
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:21,670
I MEAN, I DON'T THINK
340
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,872
THINGS ARE GOING THAT BADLY.
341
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,706
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
342
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:28,610
I'M WONDERING IF A LAP POOL
WOULD FIT IN YOUR BACKYARD.
343
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:29,979
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
344
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,781
OH, DREW WANTED TO
PROTECT HIS ASSETS,
345
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,115
SO HE SIGNED HIS CAR OVER TO ME
346
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,550
AND HIS HOUSE OVER TO LEWIS.
347
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:36,886
OH...
348
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,553
IT'S JUST A LEGAL
MANEUVER, OSWALD.
349
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:40,055
THEY'RE NOT GETTING ANYTHING.
350
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:43,558
OH, I SEE.
351
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,328
YOU CAN'T GIVE ANYTHING
TO TWO OF YOUR FRIENDS
352
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,953
WHILE I CAN'T BE
TRUSTED WITH NOTHING.
353
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:52,601
OSWALD, I'D BE HONORED
354
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,969
IF YOU TOOK MY STEREO.
355
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,305
YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT
OVER AT MY NEW HOUSE.
356
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,240
OH, COME ON. I'M
NOT GOING TO LOSE.
357
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,424
I GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL.
358
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,880
HEY, DREW, 'CAUSE OF
YOU I HAD TO TAKE DOWN
359
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,849
MY GIRLS ON CORVETTES CALENDAR.
360
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:10,219
I JUST WANT TO SAY, I SUPPORT
YOUR RIGHT TO BE A MORON.
361
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,921
ALL RIGHT. Both: WHOA! WHOA!
362
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,422
I CAN TAKE HIM.
363
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,990
DOES ANYONE
DOUBT I CAN TAKE HIM?
364
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,759
NO. NO, NO, NO.
365
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:19,494
ALL RIGHT. SORRY.
366
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:20,830
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WERE
HALF THE MAN SHE IS,
367
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:22,974
YOU WOULDN'T KEEP TAKING THIS.
368
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,501
LOOK, JIMMY, IT'S
BEEN A LONG DAY.
369
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:28,204
SO JUST BACK OFF, OK?
370
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,539
HEY, DREW, LET ME KNOW
371
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,641
IF YOU FIND ANY OF
THESE FRIES ATTRACTIVE.
372
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:36,245
I'VE BEEN WAITING TO TAG THIS
GUY SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, DREW.
373
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,414
AND NOW THAT HE'S HAD 30
BEERS, I THINK I COULD TAKE HIM.
374
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,758
LET IT GO, OSWALD.
JUST IGNORE HIM.
375
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,858
MY LEG FELL ASLEEP.
376
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:50,681
GO AHEAD. I'LL WATCH THE TABLE.
377
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:57,967
WAS MR. CAREY AWARE OF WHAT TIME
378
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,468
WE WERE STARTING TODAY?
379
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,892
YES, YOUR HONOR.
380
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:04,996
MORNING.
381
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,377
SORRY I'M LATE, BUT WE
HAD THIS BIG LOCKDOWN.
382
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,945
AND THEN THEY MADE
US ALL COUNT OFF.
383
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,113
MR. CAREY, WOULD YOU CARE
384
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,948
TO EXPLAIN THIS TO THE COURT?
385
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,283
OH, IT'S REALLY
JUST A LONG STORY.
386
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,684
IT HAS NOTHING TO
DO WITH THE CASE.
387
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,186
WHAT ARE THE CHARGES?
388
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,520
AGGRAVATED ASSAULT.
389
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,189
BUT, YOU KNOW, ENOUGH ABOUT ME.
390
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,691
YOUR HONOR, I'D LIKE TO
GET THINGS ROLLING ALONG
391
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,249
'CAUSE I HAVE ANOTHER
HEARING IN AN HOUR.
392
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:28,764
CALL YOUR FIRST WITNESS.
393
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,099
AHEM.
394
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,689
THE DEFENSE CALLS
MISS KATE O'BRIEN.
395
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:37,940
SORRY WE COULDN'T
BAIL YOU OUT, MAN.
396
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:40,242
THE JUDGE WANTED YOU TO
COOL OFF FOR A NIGHT IN THE TANK.
397
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,511
THAT'S OK, OSWALD.
JAIL MADE ME STRONGER.
398
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,013
AND I LEARNED THAT
WHICH DOESN'T KILL YOU
399
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,318
WILL PROTECT YOU FOR
TWO CARTONS OF KOOLS.
400
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,084
MR. CAREY.
401
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:52,087
MS. O'BRIEN, WHAT
IS YOUR OPINION
402
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,223
OF THE DEFENDANT'S CHARACTER?
403
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,325
HE'S GREAT.
404
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,827
HE'S REALLY SWEET
AND GOOD-NATURED.
405
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,662
I'D SAY HE'S ONE OF THE
MOST WONDERFUL GUYS
406
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:01,830
IN THE WORLD.
407
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,920
REALLY?
408
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,302
YOU THINK THE
DEFENDANT IS HANDSOME?
409
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,703
UH... REMEMBER,
YOU'RE UNDER OATH.
410
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,072
OBJECTION. IRRELEVANT.
411
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,574
I WAS JUST TRYING TO ADD A
LITTLE LEVITY, YOUR HONOR.
412
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:15,558
I BELIEVE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE
HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
413
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,846
GET ON WITH IT.
414
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,681
MISS O'BRIEN,
415
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,350
YOU WORK AT THE WINFRED-LOUDER
DEPARTMENT STORE.
416
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,485
WERE YOU OFFENDED
BY THAT CARTOON?
417
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:26,355
OFFENDED? LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
418
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:30,592
I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE
MODEST AND OLD-FASHIONED,
419
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:31,927
BUT WHEN I SAW THAT CARTOON,
420
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,791
I ALMOST PEED MY PANTS.
421
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,599
HELL, I WAS THINKING ABOUT HAVING
THAT SUCKER TATTOOED ON MY...
422
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,701
OBJECTION!
423
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,570
SHE'S YOUR WITNESS, MR. CAREY.
424
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,804
NOT ANYMORE, SHE AIN'T.
425
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:44,006
WHY?
426
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,174
YOU CAN HAVE HER.
427
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,518
SEE IF SHE DOES
ANY BETTER FOR YOU.
428
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,678
AS LONG AS I'VE KNOWN DREW,
429
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,413
I'VE NEVER HEARD
HIM TELL A DIRTY JOKE.
430
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:54,149
HE'S NEVER SAID A
DISPARAGING WORD TO A LADY.
431
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:57,286
HE'S KIND TO ANIMALS
432
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,821
AND NOT JUST THE CUTE ONES.
433
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:02,724
AND DOES THE DEFENDANT
GIVE TO CHARITIES?
434
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,393
YES, HE CERTAINLY DOES.
435
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,529
I DIDN'T MENTION THAT BECAUSE I
DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS HIM.
436
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:11,400
YOU SEE, HE'S ALSO THE HUMBLE...
437
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,224
MOST HUMBLE MAN I KNOW.
438
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,372
AND THIS IS YOUR
UNBIASED OPINION?
439
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,839
YOU'RE NOT BEING PAID
440
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:20,575
NOR ARE YOU UNDER ANY FINANCIAL
OBLIGATION TO THE DEFENDANT?
441
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,066
NOT ANYMORE.
442
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,969
NO FURTHER
QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR.
443
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,417
YES...
444
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,706
NO.
445
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:31,953
I MEAN, YES.
446
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:35,124
COULD YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION?
447
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,592
DO YOU SWEAR TO
TELL THE TRUTH...
448
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:41,196
THE WHOLE TRUTH AND
NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH?
449
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,540
YOU KNOW WHAT? NO FURTHER
QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR.
450
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,603
IN SUMMATION, WE'VE ESTABLISHED
451
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,106
THAT MS. O'DOUGHERTY WAS
FORCED TO VIEW THE CARTOON
452
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,009
AND HAS SUFFERED THE
INDIGNITIES OF A HOSTILE WORKPLACE.
453
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,478
YOUR HONOR, I KNOW YOU'LL
AWARD THE DAMAGES WE REQUEST.
454
00:18:56,502 --> 00:19:00,149
I ONLY HOPE THAT WILL
PUT AN END TO THE TRAUMA.
455
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,084
THANK YOU.
456
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:04,719
THE DEFENSE MAY OFFER
ITS CLOSING ARGUMENT.
457
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:08,183
I THINK IT'S TIME WE SEE
WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT.
458
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,228
OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.
459
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,729
YOUR HONOR, THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
460
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:16,698
MY CLIENT SHOULDN'T HAVE
TO FACE THIS OBSCENITY.
461
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,600
I ASK THAT SHE BE ALLOWED
TO LEAVE THE COURTROOM.
462
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:21,024
THE PLAINTIFF MAY BE EXCUSED.
463
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:26,041
BOY. WAS IT ME, OR WAS SHE
DRAGGING THIS WHOLE PLACE DOWN?
464
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,543
MR. CAREY!
465
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:28,877
I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR
466
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,679
ANOTHER EMOTIONAL OUTBURST.
467
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:34,583
ALL RIGHT, THEN HERE'S
MY CLOSING STATEMENT.
468
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,151
THIS IS INSANE.
469
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,819
UH, HERE'S A JOKE THAT
WON'T OFFEND ANYBODY.
470
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,888
A PERSON AND A PERSON
WALK INTO A PLACE.
471
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,057
THERE. THAT'S IT. THANK YOU.
472
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,193
HAS EVERYONE IN THIS COUNTRY
LOST THEIR SENSE OF HUMOR?
473
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,027
GEEZ, WHAT ARE
WE LIVING IN, CHINA?
474
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,362
YOU KNOW THE GUY
IN TIANANMEN SQUARE?
475
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:48,697
HE WASN'T TRYING TO STOP A TANK.
476
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,533
HE WAS TRYING TO TELL A
FUNNY KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE.
477
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:53,068
KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE?
478
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,758
A BIG-ASS TANK.
479
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:59,741
AND IN SUMMATION...
480
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,398
LIGHTEN UP, PEOPLE.
481
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:05,880
THE COURT ACCEPTS
THAT AS YOUR STATEMENT.
482
00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:10,051
BAILIFF, RETRIEVE THE
PLAINTIFF FOR THE VERDICT.
483
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:11,386
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
484
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,722
I THINK WHEN YOU SEE THAT
LITTLE CARTOON ON A MEMO,
485
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,224
IT'S ONE THING.
486
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,781
BUT WHEN YOU BLOW IT UP
LIKE THAT, UGH. IT'S DISGUSTING.
487
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,283
I'VE REACHED A DECISION.
488
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,538
THE COURT FINDS
THAT THE PLAINTIFF
489
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,872
WAS FORCED TO VIEW MATERIAL
490
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,040
THAT SHE CONSIDERED OFFENSIVE.
491
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,308
OH, MAN.
492
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,577
MR. CAREY, MAY I
DIGRESS FOR A MOMENT
493
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,212
TO TELL YOU THAT THE PERSON
494
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,981
WHO DID MOST DAMAGE
TO YOUR CASE WAS YOU.
495
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,705
HEY, KATE WAS PRETTY BAD.
496
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,653
AT ANY RATE,
497
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,322
GIVEN THAT THE MATERIAL
IN QUESTION IS A CARTOON
498
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:50,825
ABOUT A CATERPILLAR MAKING
ADVANCES TOWARDS A FRENCH FRY,
499
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:53,662
THE COURT FINDS THAT
THIS WAS NOT SO EGREGIOUS
500
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:55,664
AS TO CREATE A
HOSTILE WORKPLACE,
501
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:58,167
AND THEREFORE, THE
JUDGMENT IS FOR THE DEFENDANT
502
00:20:58,191 --> 00:20:59,368
MR. CAREY. CASE DISMISSED.
503
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,835
WHOO! YEAH, BABY!
504
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:01,970
WHOO!
505
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,071
YEAH!
506
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,072
YEAH!
507
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,074
YEAH.
508
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,576
I WON! I WON!
509
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,743
I WON!
510
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,734
WHOO! WHOO!
511
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:15,551
HEY!
512
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:16,985
CONGRATULATIONS.
513
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,853
AWW. YOU GUYS DIDN'T HAVE
TO GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
514
00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:20,189
OH, NO TROUBLE AT ALL.
515
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:21,657
WE DIDN'T GET THE IDEA TILL
YOU ORDERED THE BURGER.
516
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:24,801
AND... WELL, THAT CANDLE'S
BEEN IN THIS ASHTRAY FOR WEEKS.
517
00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:27,018
SO MAKE A WISH, BUDDY.
518
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,165
I WISH THAT INTOLERANCE
AND CENSORSHIP
519
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:33,134
BE VANQUISHED BY THE FORCES
OF TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND LIBERTY.
520
00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:34,269
AW...
521
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,937
BUT SINCE THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN,
522
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,161
CINDY CRAWFORD'S IN A
WOOL BIKINI AND I'M A MOTH.
523
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,478
YOU KNOW, THERE'S STILL
ONE THING I'M CURIOUS ABOUT...
524
00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:46,704
THE WHOLE PLAUSIBILITY OF
THIS CONFUSED ATTRACTION THING.
525
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:53,255
A CATERPILLAR...
526
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,457
A FRENCH FRY.
527
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,026
NOW, TECHNICALLY...
528
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,861
THIS CATERPILLAR
SHOULD NOT BE AROUSED
529
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:03,164
BECAUSE THIS FRENCH FRY IS
NOT EXUDING ANY PHEROMONES.
530
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:06,167
HE'S HEADED TOWARDS IT.
531
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:09,504
HEY, IS THAT ANOTHER
CATERPILLAR I SEE IN FRONT OF ME?
532
00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:12,848
KIND OF OILY, BUT, HEY,
THE BAR'S ABOUT TO CLOSE.
533
00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:16,578
IT'S NOT EASY BEING A
CRINKLE-CUT FRENCH FRY.
534
00:22:16,602 --> 00:22:19,348
ALL THE GOOD FRIES ARE
EITHER MARRIED OR GAY.
535
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:20,915
LOOK AT THAT.
536
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:22,884
THE CATERPILLAR'S GOING FOR IT.
537
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:24,875
OH! ORE IDA!
538
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:30,914
IS IT JUST ME, OR IS ANYONE
ELSE GETTING TURNED ON?
539
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:37,065
IT'S JUST ME, ISN'T IT?
540
00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:40,068
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
541
00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:43,092
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE www.ncicap.org...
39226
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