Original subtitles

[♪ bright electronic music playing]

[Kim Kardashian] Previously on The Kardashians...

We all wanna congratulate Kourtney and Travis.

We cannot wait to meet Baby Rocky.

I don't think you were supposed to say-- Baby!

[Kris Jenner] Tonight is the premiere of American Horror Story.

[all cheering]

[Ryan Murphy] You were really, really good. They called me and were like,

"Do you think Kim would wanna do her own show?"

So, last year, I made a commitment to myself

that I was gonna slow down.

I was [bleep] lying to myself.

Is there any, like, hope for Tristan

-or is that just, like-- -No. No.

Everyone has been really judgy about how I spend my time

because I'm not dating.

I'm a [bleep] control freak.

Tonight is Kim's birthday party.

Kim better not be 12 hours late today.

Last year, she was definitely over an hour.

[Kim] Khloé is unbearable these days.

I'm not in the mood to deal.

She needs to get out and live her life.

[Khloé Kardashian] [muffled] Kimberly! Happy birthday, babe.

[cheering]

[♪ dramatic theme playing]

[♪ "Gotta Feeling" by Jamra playing]

♪ Hey, hey, what's the deal ♪

♪ I say spin the wheel ♪

-[Malika Haqq] Hi, babe. -[Khloé] Hi!

Aw, hello!

Sorry if I stink.

[Malika] No, you don't stink at all.

[Khloé] No, I came from my workout.

[Malika] Well, that's just downstairs, boo.

I'm so much happier at home, if you guys can't tell.

I don't feel like, "God, I gotta be out there."

I do not have FOMO.

I feel great about what I did last night, which was nothing.

[Malika] Where's Tatum? Is he asleep?

[Khloé] No, he just went to the park.

[Malika] I need my baby fix.

[Khloé] Oh, my gosh.

So, I've been working on a project,

and I need your input and your support.

-Okay. Obviously. -I wanna have another baby.

-With who? -We don't know.

-What? -We don't know.

So, are we looking for a man?

-No. -Oh, okay.

I just think I might have to go to the sperm bank, ya know?

Okay.

Oh.

A sperm bank, okay. Well... I'll try anything once.

[laughs] I mean, let's-let's-let's see what this is about.

I have embryos if you want one.

I mean, that's not a terrible idea, actually.

They're not. They're really cute.

I bet-- I mean, you make great babies.

-But could you imagine? -Oh, that would be super weird.

-But okay, so we wanna have another baby? -I mean, no-- Well--

Yeah.

Malika has a beautiful three-and-a-half-year-old son named Ace.

She's never wanted an only child.

She's always wanted to have siblings for him.

Obviously, her situation is different. She's not with the father of her son.

And respectfully, there's just no prospects.

I don't wanna be, like, 42, 45 and pregnant.

I'm like, "I fought for this body."

-Mm-hmm. -But if I'm gonna carry, like,

it has to happen almost now 'cause I'm not a spring chicken,

-you know, but... -[chuckles]

...if I was gonna use a surrogate, then I have time.

Why don't we just ask Rob to give you some sperm?

-I mean-- -He's a good catch.

-[squeals] -Excuse me, we like to keep this

-in the family. -Oh, my God.

Would you like to donate?

You guys have already slept together.

-[Rob Kardashian] [over phone] Hello? -Hi, baby.

-[Rob] Hey. -Um, I'm with Malika.

-[Rob] Hey. -[Khloé] Hey!

-[Malika] Hey, Rob. -[Rob] Hey.

Real serious question, though. Like, Bible serious.

Malika wants to have another kid.

-[Rob] Hey. -Hey.

And she was gonna go to a sperm bank to get sperm,

-but I just said why not get it from you? -[Rob] I can't [bleep] anymore.

-What? -Is it broke?

Rob, just-- You don't have to-- You just put it in a cup.

-[Rob] I can't [bleep] anymore. -[Khloé chuckles]

What, are you tired from last night?

But what does that have to do for the sperm?

[Rob] I just said I can't [bleep] anymore.

-[Khloé] Okay. -[Khloé/Malika chuckling]

[Rob] What, what don't you get?

Okay, well, we have time to prepare her womb,

so we could prepare your penis.

So, we could-- You just simmer on this conversation, okay?

[Rob] I just told you I can't [bleep] anymore.

Okay. I love you. This is weirder than I thought.

[Rob] I love you guys.

-Okay, love you too. Bye. -Love you more.

My brother is just, like--

He's just disgusting and we can't ever just talk normal.

But... I don't think there's a problem.

I do wanna ask you, if you can, whenever,

I can make an appointment when you can go with me.

-Mm-hmm. -Like, it's the sperm bank part

that I just am like-- I have a head thing about it.

And what is your fears about the sperm bank?

I guess it's... maybe my disappointment with not

doing it the way I th-thought I would do it,

like, being married and all those things.

You don't fantasize about, as little girls.

You're not like, "Oh, one day I wanna go to a sperm bank

and have another child."

Like, these aren't things that... you think about as a kid.

But for women, the older you get, time is ticking, and blah, blah, blah,

so... women put the pressure on themselves.

[laughs] I really can't believe I'm gonna do it.

-Step by step. -I can just make you my baby daddy.

-Oh, my God. Yes. -[Malika laughs]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Step on the scene, now I'm causin' havoc ♪

♪ Lookin' so good, gotta have it ♪

♪ Watch me go like ♪

♪♪

Everyone in my family's so busy, so when they stop by, it is nice.

And Khloé has taken me to a couple doctor's appointments.

So, like, she's been really supportive and helpful.

[Khloé] There we go.

[groans] Okay.

Just hold it up.

Yay!

[gasps] Oh. Kourtney, get over yourself.

-Do you like this? -Is that Kimberly Noel?

-Do you recognize? -[Khloé] From the Met?

[Kourtney Kardashian Barker] When you feel like a couch,

-you might as well dress like one. -Oh, my God. You, l-- You need help?

Yeah, we just took photos for a-- my Halloween costume.

-[laughs] -Oh, that's cute!

This dress is actually really pretty.

[in British accent] 'Ello, babes.

[normal] Least you don't have to wear a prosthetic bump.

[Kourtney] I don't.

I called Kim the other day and I was like,

"How funny would it be if I did your dress?"

And she's like, "Oh, my God, I'm sending it over."

It was here within, like, literally an hour.

-What? -Yeah.

Do you know that for Halloween,

Kourtney is wearing my Met ball dress that looks like the couch?

-Stop. -Yeah.

-Brilliant. -But should she post it

and say, "Freaky Friday"?

What if people don't think it's--

Like, they don't understand the Freaky Friday

and they think she's calling--

-Well, they wouldn't 'cause it's you. -[crosstalk]

No, they're not gonna say a "freak".

They would-- I think they would get it.

Are you posting it today?

-[Kourtney] [over phone] Yeah. -Yeah. I think they would totally get it.

I'm so excited.

Cute!

[Kourtney] So, my caption's just gonna be, "Freaky Friday."

Like, they swapped.

[♪ pensive music playing]

-You get it? -Wow.

I would have to say Kendall Jenner because why the [bleep] not?

I'm gonna be a supermodel going around town.

I could hook up with this per--

Not that Kendall does that, but I would be doin' that.

Hookin' up with every [bleep] person, drunk as a skunk.

No kids, no [bleep] responsi--

She has responsibilities, but, like, you know what I mean.

Like, I don't have to wake up for carpool.

I don't have to make someone's [bleep] lunch.

I am a [bleep] supermodel with my Doberman

and a [bleep] tequila bottle for breakfast.

I would do it every day.

Leave that man wherever I just [bleep] him last. Like, yeah.

Like, she definitely doesn't do any of those things.

That's why she's wasting her life.

You're wasting it, Kendall. Let me be you for a second.

So, what if you have your baby on Halloween?

Are you against that or you're, like, thrilled?

No, I want whatever--

Uh, okay, stop with your bullshit answer.

-Like, your PC answer. -No, I want that.

-Be serious. -I'm serious. Of--

Who wouldn't want Halloween? It's my-- one of my favorite holidays.

Ugh, I would die.

No. Ugh. Skeletons, spiders, orange, you're scaring me, a knife, an ax?

No, no, no. I want nothing to do with Halloween.

It's ridiculous.

You would love it if you r-rolled in there in your costume

and the doctor is wearing a pumpkin costume?

-Yes. -And they're like, "Spread 'em, baby!"

What a fun experience.

Okay.

You want me to be giving birth and my vagina's, like, ripped open

while there's the doctor dressed up as, like, Peter Pan?

No.

I would actually be upset if people didn't have costumes,

and now, I'm actually gonna get some sort of ears to have ready.

Wow, you're a better girl than I.

[whispers] We knew that.

I am ready to get this dress off, though, if you wanna help me. Ooh.

[in British accent] Of course, darling.

[normal] Okay.

-[sighs] -Relief.

Do you need help once you're in there?

[Kourtney] No, I'm just gonna-- See? I can barely walk.

[producer] Khloé, did you like being pregnant?

Listen, it's hard.

My ass was bigger than my [bleep] stomach.

Look at this photo.

Like, which one's the pregnant belly? Which side?

I could do this and you wouldn't know.

You look so pretty.

[Kourtney] Should we do a check-in?

Are you feeling light and happy or are you feeling dark and heavy?

-Which one? -Rawr.

I mean, I always try to be on the lighter side.

Who the [bleep] wants to be dark and heavy?

Sometimes you can be. Let's not--

-[Khloé laughs] -Let's not--

Sometimes you can be too, babe.

Are you having sex?

I am not, but thank you for your

-hard-hitting questions. -I wouldn't think so, to be honest.

[laughs]

Like, if it happens, it happens. I'm not--

I don't know.

I don't want this to be mean, but, like, having Tristan, like,

off and, like, working, like, I feel so...

good that, like, he's in Cleveland and he's out doing--

Like, I just feel like,

"Okay, like, there's a separation

-and it's good." -Yeah, I just said that to Travis

the other day. I was like,

"I feel like now that Tristan is gone,

that maybe Khloé could be, like, free to--"

-Yeah, just-- -Just even, like, go out and have fun.

-Just anything. -[Kourtney] Yeah.

I love Kourt for being that concerned about me,

but I'm very content, I'm happy.

I feel like I'm [bleep] thriving in my own little circle and world,

but, like, just even to think about someone being in my space

or I have to share my TV with them or my bed,

I'm like, "No."

No means no and that's all you gotta know.

I'm just finding my rhythm again in life, I guess.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Kim] I am really tired and my birthday was exhausting.

My mom always tells me to slow down.

Hello. Where in the world are ya?

Oh, you're just sitting in your living room?

Chilling?

And then, on the other hand, she's like, "Um, okay, so I got this deal for you.

You have to do it. I'm booking you for it."

It's like, "I just wanna sleep in."

I gotta get back to my natural energy.

With some feather boots on. You are fancy.

So, how was the meeting?

-How did it go? -It was so good.

Ryan Murphy came over to pitch Kim and I an idea about a new show.

[Ryan] So, here's the idea.

So, Kim is the world's best, most expensive divorce lawyer.

-Oh. -[Ryan] And she has her own firm.

The network liked it so much

that they decided to just jump into another project together.

Ya know, like they say, "while the iron is hot".

We pitched it and there was a whole boardroom

and they were so excited.

And I got in the car and I got a text in two seconds from the network

that said, "We can't wait to work with you and Ryan."

This is perfect for you.

It really is.

It's just-- I really have to, like, wrap my head around this.

-Like, we're doing this. -But he knows that. He is so--

I just really have to map it all out 'cause it all has to, like--

-Line up. -It'll be interesting just how

I figure this all out.

Another chapter for you.

-Mm-hmm. -Like, a whole new career.

[Kim] If I think about just what I have going on in the next week,

I did a collab with SKIMS and Swarovski,

and we're doing the whole store opening in New York.

SKIMS Men's is launching.

I'm shooting a GQ cover, I'm launching a nipple bra.

But somehow, I'm gonna squeeze in a whole new TV project.

[Kris] How was your birthday with the kids?

I thought my birthday, I'd have a f-- a day to myself.

I was stuck doing everything that everyone else wanted to do.

I was stuck watching YouTube unboxing videos on my birthday.

I had a FIFA tournament, Color Me Mine.

You should see the ugly thing I made.

Like, this is not what I wanted to be doing on my birth--

I need to sit my kids down and be like, "This isn't Mother's Day.

"Like, this is my day.

"Do you think a mom wants to go to Color Me Mine

-one more time on her birthday?" -[Kris laughs]

Whose birthday is it?

-No, I was tortured. -I would,

-I would die. -Just make me breakfast.

-That's a great birthday. -Yeah.

To lock my door, not get out of my bed,

and eat cookies and cream ice cream all day long.

That's what would've been my dream.

But no. No one cares about my dreams.

Not four kids, at least.

I think that we've all, as moms, been through some days

where we don't wanna be doing what we're doing,

but we do it for our kids, so... come on, Kim.

Suck it up, and do a little Color Me Mine.

Having four is hard.

It's, like, a madhouse.

Your house is a circus because you have a lot.

And you have a lot going on.

I'm gonna get my shit together and I'm gonna be a [bleep] drill sergeant.

Like, Khloé is so tough.

Well, have you talked to her about this?

-No, because she's just very judgmental. -'Cause she--

Oh.

She's very judgmental...

-Yeah. -...if things aren't perfection.

I'd say I'm, like, half of a Khloé parenter

and half of a Kourtney parenter.

Kourtney's like, "It's all love. Do what you want," you know?

But then I also get Khloé and I-I get that order,

but it's difficult for me to be a really strict parent.

You're gonna have to create some boundaries for everybody else,

including me, including your friends, including some business associates.

Being a mom, being a working mom, it's really hard.

I know Kim

and I know how she thrives on her workload,

but we all still need a little bit of balance.

You just need to create a world for yourself

where less people have access to you.

And everyone else can [bleep] off.

Mm-hmm.

[♪ bright music playing]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Perfection, as always. You bring nothing less.

Look up.

Oh, my God. Kim is in a good mood today, guys.

I'm either in a good mood or I'm like,

"[bleep] that hoe

-and everyone's a [bleep] idiot." -It's never towards us, but she just--

[Kim] I think today's shoot will be cool.

I'm shooting the GQ Man of the Year cover.

-Hey. -[Kim] Hi.

Good morning.

-How are you? -[crosstalk]

[Will Welch] Can I show you an idea for a picture

-and see what you think? -[Kim] Yeah, of course.

'Cause this-- Obviously, we're playing with all this tailoring and menswear

-and there's this iconic Demi... -Yeah.

-God, I love that. Love that. -...shoot.

[Kim] Well, I'm so glad that I have a little bit of clout here,

being GQ's Man of the Year

'cause at home, like, I've turned into the embarrassing mom,

the cringey mom.

Do you think I'm a cool mom or am I a cringey mom?

[gasps] I'm a cringe mom?

Are you the new North? North says I'm so cringe.

-Do I look like the GQ Man of the Year? -Probably.

-[♪ upbeat music playing] -[camera clicking]

♪ Look at me ♪

♪ Hey ♪

My kids, they say "gyat" and "gyat" means a big butt.

I got it off TikTok, [chuckles]

and it was, like, made you feel so old

when you don't know what, like, the slang words are.

♪ I'll make a splash ♪

♪ I'll mix it up ♪

♪ I'm feelin' bad ♪

♪ I'm feelin' young ♪

So, I was like, "Guys, we're late. We've 'gyat' to go."

-And they were like... -[crew laughing]

"Mom, you're so embarrassing!"

♪♪

♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪

I just told the story how I'd said, "You've 'gyat' to go."

Why am I so cringey? Why am I so annoying?

[North West] [over phone] First, you're so cringey 'cause you're saying those words.

Gyat damn.

-[phone beeps, dial tone] -Oh, she hung up on me.

Next stop, I'm heading to New York to my Swarovski collab

and it's gonna be amazing.

♪ I think I'll try it on ♪

[♪ pensive music playing]

Are you excited? Are you nervous? What's happening?

I'm... nervous 'cause I know that this is crazy.

Yeah, but this is not-- You're not deciding anything.

-No, I know, but still. -We're gonna just see how we feel

once we gather information.

Today is the day that Malika and I are going to a sperm bank

to get educated on the whole sperm bank idea.

Okay. Where is the sperm bank?

[Malika laughs]

I don't know why I thought this was a parking spot.

Clearly I've never driven before.

Okay, if I pass out while we're in here...

[sighs] Shortest skirt in the world, but I got this.

Yeah, she wanted to wear a [bleep] black and white striped cardigan

to come here. I said, "Come on, Beetlejuice.

"You've gotta spruce it up a little bit.

Ya never know what sperm you're gonna run into."

Hi, how are you?

Good. Welcome to California Cryobank.

Sh-- We're here for Malika.

Feel free to ask us any questions.

-We'll follow you. -Yeah. Excellent.

Oh, and we could play ping-pong and talk about sperm.

Yes. Ping pong, sperm.

[worker] You guys are gonna get some couture to wear

while we head into the lab.

-[Malika] Thank you. -Is something gonna splash on us?

-Nope. -Okay.

-[crosstalk] -Just makin' sure. I was like...

-You're very safe. -I was like, "That's a little gross."

I actually respect a lab coat.

I would like cleanliness protection at a sperm bank.

[lab tech] These are the tanks with donor sperm.

That's what the-- how the sperm donors are labeled.

[Malika] That's a lot of donor.

You just lift the lid, you're like, "Hey! Ya in there?"

It's small. I thought these freezers were, like, ginormous size.

Sperm isn't that big, I guess.

-Where would you like us to sit? -I think the two of you here,

-so you can see the computer... -Nice.

...so you'll have a chance to look at some donors, too.

-[laughs] Oh. Yeah! -[softly] Oh, my God.

[Khloé] I would imagine people are going for your physical attributes

and I don't know if that's the right way to go about it.

This is one of the most personal choices you may ever make, right?

And so, you gotta see what jumps out at you.

These donors are either, uh, platinum or silver.

So, the platinum donors,

you would be the only person that has access to those--

to that donor's vials.

I think we start there.

-Okay. -We're, we're learning.

[Khloé] Thank you so much.

-Let's do 5'8" and taller? Okay. -No. Yeah, that's, like--

Even six. Let's get rid of 6'3" and whatever.

Oh.

-Oh, that's a cute baby. -Okay, let's look at him. He's 6'2".

You better talk about it.

African American, French Canadian, German, and Polish.

He was really cute as a baby.

[Khloé] We can see the donor's photos

from infancy to, like, two years old.

But I don't give a [bleep] what you looked like when you were born.

6'2", athletically built, guidance counselor.

Huh, it's a lotta Canadians.

Canadian and British people.

-Yeah. -I love British. And Canadians are nice.

He's a bowler? Hm. It's a no for me.

"Has a heart of gold."

How the [bleep] do they know that? 'Cause I could say anything.

I could say I'm [bleep] Simone Biles.

I think that this is such an amazing place for so many people

and, like, how cool that we have this option,

but do I think we can try a couple different avenues before this stop? Yes.

-How did it all go? -It's still weird for me.

Most people we speak to, this isn't plan A,

and it might not even be plan B, and so, we are very sensitive to that.

But it also means that you're not alone in those feelings.

It's a stressful process.

And so, it is okay to take your time with it.

-I know you have your timeline, but like-- -Yeah. Ugh, now I'm gonna cry.

-Why? -[consultant] It's okay to take...

-Why are you crying? -...your time and do what's right

for you and your family when you're ready.

[♪ tender music playing]

[♪ emotional music playing]

[sniffles]

[Khloé] I know Malika's freaking out.

She's super emo and she is internally sobbing.

She is thinking about, like, every wrong thing she's ever done in her life.

I know who she is. She cries at [bleep] bank commercials.

So, this isn't goin' good for her inside. I know.

I'm thankful to have the education, but, like, I feel overwhelmed.

[sniffling]

I mean, nothing's final until, like, it is.

I'm totally certain that I'm going to have another baby.

I'm just not all that clear about

-how I'm gonna get there. Yeah. -You get there.

And I think you're doing the smart thing

by getting all the information you can

and then you make your decision what's best for you.

I mean, I went a nontraditional route, as well, to get my son

and I really think that if Malika or anyone

has their hopes on having a family...

then, you know, people have to do what they have to do to get the end result.

Well, thank you.

-You're so welcome. -You've been so helpful.

I do feel educated and that was the real point.

I think it's a great thing that this exists to have as an option.

And I'm not totally ruling it out,

but all that I learned kinda made me go like, "God,

I gotta, like, act like I like someone and just have a baby with him."

Think my whole tush is out, but that's fine.

-Thank you, guys. -[all] Bye.

And I need a drink. Can we go get a drink?

-Well, at your house. That's fine too. -Sure. Yeah.

I know that's where you wanna go anyway.

I'm like, "Ah, we're going to see real people?"

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Move ♪

I had all these pumpkins, like, set up.

[Kris] They're so cute.

[Kourtney] We're at Travis's now.

Because Travis and I have really been taking our time with...

figuring out where it makes sense for us to live together,

because the kids are all so comfortable in their spaces,

but it feels like we've kinda figured out a plan for now.

So, we're gonna move into his house, which is a block away,

and then redo my house at the same time...

so that we can all be together,

living together under one roof with the baby.

[Kris] Oh, this is so cute!

[Kourtney] Look at the dining room.

And then you should carve at least one of 'em.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You did this?

[Kourtney] Like, I had it all, like, set up,

so when he got back it was, like-- felt like Halloween

'cause he was missing... two weeks of it on tour.

Everything that needs to be over at Travis's is there.

And we just had the baby's closet built out,

so that he has... a cute, little closet.

And yeah, I'm just excited to organize and put away all of his clothes.

Wait, you have a drum set where the baby sleeps?

-Yep. -This is not normal, Kourtney.

[Kourtney] He's gonna get used to some drums.

How can you play drums if the crib is right there?

[Kourtney] He was getting ready for tour.

-He has to practice. -In the bedroom?

You have a huge house and you're practicing next to the bed?

[Kourtney] Okay. This is the stuff that I have to put away

-'cause now this is... -[whispers] This isn't normal.

-...crazy. -It's not normal.

None of this goes here without baskets, you know?

[Kris] Oh.

Totally hormones. She's ready to pop.

[Kourtney] So, he doesn't have that many clothes.

This is a real vintage shirt from Pirates of the Caribbean.

-[Kris] Stop. -Isn't that so cute?

[Kris] The baby is gonna fill up...

-And this I didn't finish. -...this whole thing.

We have to get a cover on that and then where's--

Do you-- Should we get another table?

I used to always say to my mom,

when she would harass me... about,

"You don't have this done yet and this isn't put together."

And I would say, "People had babies in caves

"without a diaper, without a wipe, without a pacifier,

without anything, and they were all okay."

What if your water broke, like, right now?

[Kourtney] Well, let's not say that 'cause I am not ready.

Oh. Well, after we're done.

[Kourtney] Well, no, my husband's on a plane coming home.

Oh, okay... Okay, then when he lands.

[Kourtney] No, I need to, like, have sex.

[mouths] What?

[normal] This is how you talk to your mother?

This is TMI, and I don't need to know this.

Not-- I'm looking at her and thinking--

Ya know, the visual, it's just-- No, no, no.

Just keep it to yourself.

This is wild.

-[Kourtney] Okay, so we have one-- -That sex is taking a priority

to a birth?

Yeah, 'cause then you can't have sex for six weeks after.

-Just Travis. -[producer] Not your mom?

-Nope. -[producer] No sisters?

Nope. Unless I feel super stressed out

and I call Khloé or something,

but because I had a high-risk pregnancy,

I need to feel good and stay calm,

so the unplanned plan is that I just want it... to just be us.

Today is our three-year anniversary

of the first time that we were ever together.

-So, this is your sex anniversary? -And our--

-And then a year later, we got engaged. -Your sex-aversary?

We got engaged one year later on the same date.

Oh, I know. I was there.

Just to be clear, I was there when they got engaged.

Not... the other thing.

Wait, so I got the coolest gift for...

our... anniversary today.

-And it's coming-- -You give gifts for the annual

-sex-aversary? -It's also our engagement.

It was, like, you have, like, one life on this planet

and I feel like we like to be, like,

-havin' extra reasons to be, like-- -[Kris] Celebrate.

Yeah. Do I just put this in here for now?

So, what'd you get as a gift?

[Kourtney] The movie that we watched, you know, the first time...

-Uh-huh. -...was True Romance,

and it's his favorite movie.

And so, I found the wedding rings.

-[Kris] [laughs] Stop. -[Kourtney] Their actual wedding rings

from the movie.

-The actual rings they used in the movie? -Yeah.

Who-- What prop company would save those?

[Kourtney] Look, this is a "Lovey" blanket.

[Kris] Oh, that's cute.

Mickey and Minnie have to be together.

Did you see there was, like, a viral thing on the internet

that they broke up?

-Minnie and Mickey? -Yeah.

It was, like, after, like, 92 years together or something,

they broke up.

-Well, like I said... -This little tag can come off.

...don't believe everything ya hear on the internet.

Minnie and Mickey got together and decided it was a good idea.

I don't know what happened. Blame it on the mouse.

-[producer] Yes! -[Kris laughs]

Feels so heavy when I walk,

and the doctor told me he's not even down, like, super low.

When's the actual due date?

November 7th.

Can you believe it's so close to your birthday?

That probably means you were conceived on Valentine's Day like I was.

-Like he was. -Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, that's why they say Scorpios are really sexual.

-Maybe it's 'cause they were... -I'm a love child.

-...conceived on Valentine's Day. -For sure. I know for sure now.

[♪ "OO WAH (It's All Good)" by Alula playing]

♪ Oo wah, oo wah ♪

♪ Oo wah, oo wah, oo wah ♪

-[Kris] Kenny? Hi! -[Kendall Jenner] Hey.

-[Kris] Hey! -[Kendall] Just getting dressed.

[Kris] Do you need a brush for your hair or anything?

-[Kendall] You know what, Mom? -[Kris] Like she's five.

-[Kendall] [bleep] off. -[Kris] Can I brush your hair, Kendall?

[Kendall] What are you trying to say?

Kelsey, do y-- do you think she should

brush the back of her hair?

-[Kendall] Mom! Leave me alone! -She looks like a rugrat.

We are at my old high school, Sierra Canyon,

and today is their Mental Health Day.

So, they invited me to come speak and answer some questions,

so I'm really happy to be here.

[Kris] I have a brush in my bag right here.

No, I don't need a brush!

-This is my vibe. -Oh, that's a vibe?

Wait, is that a vibe these days? Messy hair?

[producer] In high school, who was the best student of all your kids?

Oh, I'm not gonna say that. No, no, no.

[producer] Who got into the most trouble?

Khloé. [laughs] Sorry, Khloé.

I even took myself out of real high school

and enrolled myself in homeschool and forged my parents' names

and then told them after the fact.

[producer] Who was the best behaved?

[Kris] Kendall.

[principal] [over mic] Will you all join me in welcoming Kendall Jenner?

-[applause] -Come on up.

[producer] Who talked back the most?

[Kris] Kourtney.

[laughs]

-[producer] And Kim? -[Kris] Perfect.

She was? Okay.

[teacher] We're so thankful given that you are an alum

and you also tend to your own wellness

and are very open about it to the public.

I'm so honored.

I love nostalgia,

so I love going back to my old school

and seeing the campus and how it's evolved.

But on top of all of that, I think that a really fun part of this

is just being able to talk to the current students

and give my word of advice on how I've dealt with my mental health journey.

So, I love it and I'm, I'm honored to be a part of it.

When you attended Sierra Canyon, you openly shared about struggling with

self-image and insecurities that high school brings.

Can you share some strategies that kinda help you manage social media?

I take breaks a lot.

I love to delete the Instagram app outta my phone

or, especially TikTok or Twitter.

Maybe, like, the first day is a little bit of a shock

'cause you're going through your phone and you're kinda naturally

looking for that app, but it feels so incredible

after the first day or two

and going at least a couple days or a week without it

is one of the most liberating and amazing feelings.

It's actually just so good for your brain

to turn it off for a little while and, um, be in the real world

and realize that a lotta the things you see on there

are just not legit, not real.

And that the only things that matter around you

are the people around you and your environment, so...

I think, right now, for kids in high school,

I think with social media, especially,

we can all fall into, like, negative patterns on the internet

and, ya know, see things that we don't really care to see

that might bring us down, so I like to just remove myself, um,

so I find it very healthy. I like doing it.

[student] Do you think you could share a personal moment

when you felt like addressing your mental health

positively impacted your career?

[Kendall] What was interesting, I think,

when I started to open up about

I guess my, my mental health publicly was I didn't--

I was doing it out of genuine, like, "This is kinda how I feel."

And I always had this weird thing about like,

"How much do I wanna share?" I'm-I'm a relatively more private person.

Something just kinda came over me one day.

I kinda started sharing things

and the positive thing that I saw come out of it

was making other people feel less alone.

It, it was well-received in a way that wasn't about me.

It was about everybody else feeling like,

"Oh, wow, this makes me feel a little bit less alone

or a little bit better about what I'm dealing with."

That was really nice.

I think it's really special that Kendall can revisit her high school

to share her message about how she feels and deals with anxiety and mental health

and all these things that were so taboo to talk about back in the day.

And I was so proud of her.

Good luck, and know that you're all so gorgeous

and so deserving of all love and beautiful things.

[applause]

[♪ "Only Going Up from Here" by Ruby Amanfu ft. Yacht Money playing]

♪ Honestly, it's easy when you ♪

♪ Just wake up glowin' like diamonds ♪

[Kim] Guys, we have to be in the car in 10 minutes.

So excited for the Swarovski event.

So, SKIMS is doing a collab with Swarovski.

-[camera clicking] -I think the SKIMS girl will really love

having fun crystal pieces.

I know I always loved it.

Yeah, I went to the Swarovski store and I got this amazing purse.

I love Swarovski. They're really cool.

So, I-I love the Swarovski store.

I love what they've been doing and I think it would be really cool

to partner with the crystals with clothing

and to make some really cool pieces out of crystals.

So, I'm just super excited about this.

One fun fact, every time I put on jewelry, I blow dry it

'cause I can't stand putting on something freezing.

So, look at my outfit. It's, like, all crystals.

So, we have to blow dry the whole thing, so it goes on warm.

I used to be freezing in bed and put a blow dryer, like, in my bed

and just turn it on low and--

-[paparazzi shouting] -[cameras clicking]

Hey, can one of you, can you just stand behind me?

-Just wanna, like-- -[Chris Appleton] That was good.

No one ever tried to sit in this skirt. [laughs]

-It's not the most comfy. -[Chris] Looks so good.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Kim] Hi.

[Saint West] [over phone] Can I order KFC, please?

KFC?

-[Saint] Can I? -You know what?

We're gonna have to take one sugary thing out of your day.

[Saint] I barely ate something sugary today.

With Saint, there's always a negotiation.

"Please, please, please, Mom. Can I just have one more chocolate

"and then I promise I'll do my homework in an hour?

Please, please, please, Mom."

A biscuit and some honey?

[Saint] No, um, like, two biscuits

and then, like, two chicken wings.

This is the biggest negotiator you've ever met.

Doesn't take "no" for an answer.

So, let's do that. You can have a soda with your KFC.

-Go wild tonight. -[Saint] Okay, thanks.

-I love you. Have fun at KFC. -[Saint] Love you.

-[Saint hangs up] -Oh.

-[Saint laughing] -Do I get a kiss?

A lollipop kiss, that's the best!

Oh, my God. They look great. Wow.

I always had everything bedazzled.

Like, my phone was, my Sidekick pager.

To think of having a clothing line with, like, the best crystal bedazzles.

Bedazzled taxis, like, the whole rollout is so fun and amazing.

-This is an event. -[Chris] My God, Kim. The line.

They're lined up in the streets!

[cameras clicking]

[Kim] I'm definitely nervous because I just wanna make sure that

our collabs were unexpected, iconic.

And I just hope people like it.

Oh, my God, it looks so good.

Everybody's taking so many pictures.

-You look amazing! -No, you look amazing!

The store looks insane. Do you love it?

My God, I can't--

-Like, I'm, like, taking it in. -Oh, my God. You look amazing!

-And thank you. -It looks so good, right?

I'm really excited that everyone's coming out to celebrate and try something new.

I'm so excited about it.

And there's such great praise and people really love the collection.

It's just, like, it'll never get old.

Swarovski is so perfect because it's glitzy and glam

and I think because SKIMS is so, like, a sporty, simple feel,

-this really amps it up. -Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And just gives that glamour girl--

-The glamour. -Totally.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

I mean, I am on cloud nine. This night has been amazing.

But I'm honestly just really looking forward to getting home to my kids

'cause they're at home waiting to shame me

for being the most embarrassing mom.

♪ Yeah! ♪

[♪ "Amazing" by Vanacore Music playing]

-♪ Juicy thing like Tang ♪ -♪ Like Tang ♪

♪ Bang ♪

Ooh, honey? Hell [bleep] yeah!

These aren't my nipples, just so you guys know. They're Kim's.

Yeah. Kim's nipples on my body.

-[Malika] Hi! -Hi!

-Just sitting here eating. -You're so cute. As you should.

I'm about to join you.

[laughing] Is this the Kim nipple bra?

-[Khloé] Yeah, they're not my nipples. -Yes!

Some days are hard, but these nipples are harder.

-[people gasp] -And unlike the icebergs...

these aren't going anywhere.

But Kim is such a bitch.

I was like, "If I get my boobs done, I like this size."

She was like, "That is too big for you."

-Really? I disagree. -I'm, like, this is, like--

Coming from double D door knockers is telling me

what's too big for me? Please.

So, Malika and I, both have decided

that the sperm bank isn't the right fit for Malika.

So, we are inviting my mom and Scott over today

really to see if they know of anyone that

either Malika should be put on a date with,

or that someone just wants to donate some sperm.

Hi!

-[Khloé] Hi, guys. -[Malika] Both of you.

-Hi. -Wow, Mom. You look fantastic!

-Thank you. You look fantastic! -How cute are you.

[laughs] Hi.

[Scott Disick] So, what's shakin' otherwise?

So...

who has a little bit of sperm laying around?

-[Scott] I'll [bleep] right now. -What?

I don't.

Do you know anyone that has sperm

they want to possibly give to someone

with no questions asked?

Malika?

-[Khloé] For Malika. -It's me.

-[Kris] What? -Oh, I've always wanted to bang ya.

-Let's do it. -[Malika laughs]

She doesn't wanna have sex with you.

I don't wanna have sex with anyone.

-But, what-- -I just want the baby.

We went to a sperm bank. First of all, you guys--

-You went to a sperm bank? -We went to a sperm bank.

[Kris] What is a sperm bank?

People just go in there and [bleep]?

-Like, what's it like? -No. So, we thought--

Like, it's always a place I sort of, like, wanted to see.

-We thought it was-- -You wanted to see a [bleep] clinic?

Scott, focus!

-I'm focused. -[Khloé] A sperm bank.

It's like this white, medicinal office space.

It's a spank bank.

-Where? -Shut the [bleep] up.

-Do you have the new nipple bra on? -Of course, I have the new nipple bra on.

-I was gonna say, those things look good. -[laughs]

It's the only time you don't tell me to shut up.

-[Khloé] I have Kim's-- -It's the c-- My compliments.

Anything else, "Scott, shut up. Shut the [bleep] up.

Shut the-- Your [bleep] look--" "What'd ya say?"

I, [groans] I just-- I should have, you know, read the room.

This is a wrong room to wear this in.

I know what it must feel like to want a sibling for your baby

because I always had that feeling deep down in my heart and my soul.

And that's why I had six kids.

Ya know? I mean, when I w--

I had a baby at 23 and then tw--

Yeah, every couple years I had a baby for a while

and then I got married and had two more.

So, that was always very im-- My passion was my--

And she was desperate for Kendall and Kylie.

-Yeah. -She-- You tried so many times.

-Yeah... yeah. -And she had so many miscarriages.

So, I think I understand the desire.

I had Kendall when I was 40

and I really wanted Kendall to have a sibling

that was closer in age to her.

So, I had Kylie when I was 41 and it wasn't easy.

I got terrible gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with Kylie.

And with Kendall, I remember having a miscarriage right before,

so I was nervous the whole time.

I get Malika's desire to have another baby

and have a sibling for Ace, who's also my godson.

So, I love him madly.

I really think whatever she decides

is gonna be the right decision for her.

Find some friends with benefits.

Find a friend with sperm.

-I would be pregnant right now if I could. -[Khloé] Oh, yeah.

-I just can't. -[Khloé] You know you can.

-You know your uterus doesn't age. -[Malika] Your uterus works.

[Khloé] So, you're good if you wanna carry

-her baby. -You could carry for me.

-You can be my surrogate. -[chuckles] No, it's okay.

-It's a-- -Wait... is that the nipple bra?

-I just said that, Kris. -Oh, I just--

I mean, you can't stop looking.

-[Scott] I mean... -I knew I shouldn't have worn this bra.

-...I look no matter what. -[Kris] Um, so I think we need a list.

-[Malika] Yeah. -And then we need a turkey baster.

-Turkey baster? -You know. [clicks tongue]

I totally get what you would do with a turkey baster.

This was maybe the wrong group to talk to about this.

Holidays are around the corner.

You're gonna be at holiday parties, you're gonna be a social butterfly.

-Go spread your wings and, hopefully-- -[Scott] Spread your [bleep].

[Kris] Scott.

He's a sicko!

-[Scott] Just sayin'. -Sick, sick,

-sick. -You want pregnancy? Bend over.

[Kris] Oh, my goodness.

[Kim] Next on The Kardashians...

I am now the brand ambassador for Balenciaga.

I'm hoping that it's not gonna add so much 'cause I have so much going on.

Khloé, last minute, did not come.

People have been talking about my looks since I was 13.

It just gets exhausting.

I hear nasty things about myself all the time.

Like, I've never cried about this before, but I guess it does affect me.

[Kim's agent] [over phone] You haven't gone around to movie studios

and pitched a movie.

[Kim] After American Horror Story,

all these different people wanted to meet.

-What's the project? -I sold a movie to Netflix.

[♪ tender music playing]

Do you think Rocky's gonna be a drummer?

I don't know... His dad will be a drummer.

[♪ light drumming]

-This is where the baby's gonna go. -[Kourtney] Mm-hmm.

[Kris] Rocky's little area.

[Travis Barker] About to break that water.

♪♪

-It's time, baby. -Oh, my gosh. I'm so shaky.

[Kris] Okay, guys. It's go time.

[nurse] Push. Push.

[♪ bright music playing]

I am so [bleep] hungover today, guys.

I had espresso martinis last night. It was just one of those nights.

It was just, like, a thing. Oh, is that for me?

-[crew member] It's got b-- -It says "recover".

-[♪ pensive music playing] -Mm.

Not bad.

[crew chattering]

[crew member 1] Cute. We can, we can make that--

-[crew member 2] Chug, chug, chug. -[crew member 3] Yeah!

[bell tolls]