Original subtitles

So call us here. Our lines are open.

And now for a quick update

here's Stan the weatherman.

[Stan on radio] Yeah, get out your handkerchiefs, folks.

We're in for another scorcher tomorrow.

Hot and humid, with the mercury climbing into the 90s

and there's no relief in sight. Hmm!

Man, it must be over 100 degrees in here.

Can't you do something about it?

Hey, the air conditioning's busted.

The repairman's on his way.

Heat's not the problem.

Jimmy Swain is the problem.

Not for me, Vega.

It's your territory he's making a run at.

Listen...

...Swain's got his torpedoes working the west side too

and once he soaks that up he's gonna

move right in on little Hong Kong.

In another month, we'll be squeezed out.

Swain will have this whole city in his tight, dirty pocket.

I say we take him out now

send the message that no out of town punk

is gonna move us out.

I agree.

Last thing we need is somebody screwing up

the balance of power.

Somebody call for a repairman?

Hello?

Who is it?

I'm here from Central City Air

to repair the air conditioning.

Hi. How are you doing, sir?

Air conditioner's on the fritz.

Make it cool in here.

Oh, don't you worry about a thing.

Cool is my specialty.

Hello?

- [Julio on phone] Hey, Bar, sorry to wake you. - Julio?

I'm down in hell town at the St. Diogenes Social Club.

I think you should get over here.

We got a weird one.

Hey, man, what's up?

Can you believe this heat?

Yeah, well, I got something else you won't believe.

What's that?

You'll see.

These guys are frozen solid.

It's got to be about 90 degrees out there.

How could this happen?

From the positions of the bodies

they were killed trying to get away.

A sudden subzero drop in body temperature.

[Julio] Could be liquid oxygen or nitrogen maybe.

You'd have to drop the bodies in a vat

of the stuff to get this effect.

These guys were frozen on the spot.

I don't know how.

Well, let me spur your conjecturing, Allen.

Meet the late Nikolai Brown.

Ray McGill.

Luis Vega.

And attempting to dial 911...

...Johnny Choi.

- What? - That's right.

Central city's criminal board of directors.

Combined, they control virtually all the crime in this town.

Hah! Or they did.

Must have been pretty serious

for all of them to sit down together.

I need some answers fast.

I don't know if I got a quadruple homicide on my hands

or a freak of nature.

- Sorry. This is a crime scene. - You have no right.

What, you've never heard of freedom of speech?

This is closed to reporters.

This is a violation of my first amendment right--

Look, nobody crosses this line without proper--

- Sergeant wants to see you. - Alright.

Alright. I get the message.

But your name's on my list, Officer Bellows.

- - What?

Oh, nice!

You have any idea how much a manicure costs these days?

What were you doing under there?

Trying to get past Dirty Harry.

Not that it's any of your business.

Hey, you guys work for the crime lab?

Yeah. Not that it's any of your business.

Alright, well, this is great.

Listen, I hear you got a couple of human snow cones in there.

What do you say you give me an exclusive?

Put your name in the paper

little something for your scrapbook, huh?

What do you say? What do you say?

B-Bellows!

Would you escort Lois Lane here

back across the police barricade?

And make sure she stays there.

Yeah? How's this for a headline?

"Police rough up reporter," huh?

Don't tempt me, lady. Come on. Let's go.

Your name is on my list, too. You got that?

Watch yourself, Ace.

I love it.

Ah, no more in-fighting over turf.

No more slicing the pie so thin

you can't even see the wedge on your plate.

From now on, this city is gonna be run

by a single entrepreneur, me.

Oh, no, thank you.

You know, I like the way you clean house.

I'm offering you a permanent position in my organization.

I'll pay you very well.

Oh, that's very flattering of you, Mr. Swain,

but you see, one of the great pleasures

of my job is the travel.

Hmm. Have it your way.

The rest of your payment

as we agreed

and I thank you.

Hey, listen, uh, there is

one more little job I'd like

for you to do before you leave town.

Oh, I'd really like to

but I have reservations in San Tropez.

Yeah. Work on that tan.

Ah, you're probably not the right guy for this job, anyway.

It's a tough number.

A real challenge.

Oh, really?

I'm listening.

There's this guy in town I'm still worried about.

He's put a lot of my peers out of business lately.

I'd be very grateful if you'd...

...put him on ice.

And who is this?

He calls himself The Flash.

Oh.

The Flash.

[Barry] Anything new on those frozen bodies?

No. Coroner hasn't got a clue.

I'll have Tina run a tissue sample through STAR Labs.

Any suspects?

They could be aliens from the Earth's core?

- What? - Yeah. Like the Flash.

Oh, Julio. Come on, man.

You don't really read this rag, do you?

Well, you got to wrap the fish in something, right?

Mendez! Allen!

Almost got away.

Gentlemen, this is Terri Kronenberg

a reporter for "The Daily Clarion."

Ms. Kronenberg

Julio Mendez, Barry Allen, our forensic scientists.

Yes, Mr. Allen and I have already met.

How's your foot?

Just fine. How's your hand?

Uh, Ms. Kronenberg is on special assignment,

uh, to do a series of articles about the police.

The mayor's office has asked us

to extend every courtesy.

I'd like you to show her the crime lab

and tell her what you do.

Lieutenant, we're very busy up in the crime lab at the moment.

We are all very busy, Allen,

but the chief's office thinks

the publicity could be good for us.

Need I say more?

No, sir.

Uh! Look, why don't we just let bygones be bygones

and forget about our little disagreement, huh?

What do you say?

You know, I'd better run those tissue samples

on over to STAR Labs.

But I'm sure Mr. Mendez will be happy

to show you to the lab.

Sure, Barry.

Is he married?

Excuse me.

I understand that you're a reporter

and that you're doing a story

on Central City's finest?

Uh, that's right.

Great! Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Officer Murphy. I'm somewhat of a legend

here in the police department, and...

Of course, I'll make myself available for interviews.

Thank you. That's very considerate of you.

I was thinking perhaps, uh, over dinner maybe, uh,

I could tell you some cop stories

that really would make "Jack the Ripper" look like a musical.

Musical comedy.

Yes, no doubt, uh...

Why don't you just write your adventures down

and I'll read 'em when you're done?

Why not?

Why not?

Michael Frances Murphy,

dedicated cop, hard-hitting novelist.

No.

Hard-hitting cop, unsparing author.

Murphy, this is great.

[Tina] Barry, I thought you had some theory

you wanted to run past me.

Yeah, um, you know spontaneous combustion, right?

When things suddenly seem to burst into flames on their own?

Exactly.

Well, I was thinking this might be that, only opposite.

No one knows if spontaneous combustion really happens.

It's just a theory.

And I've never heard of spontaneous freezing.

But there must be some rational explanation.

Let me run that tissue sample you gave me

through my analysis equipment.

If I come up with anything, I'll let you know immediately.

Thanks, Tina.

Well, I better get back to the crime lab.

Hopefully, Ms. Kronenberg will be gone.

Dinner, anyone?

Hello.

Well, I heard that you might be working late

I thought you might be hungry

so I've got Chinese, Italian and Mexican.

I have trouble making decisions.

But this is very nice, but really, it's not, uh, necessary.

Alright, look, about the other night

I acted like a jerk.

Well, I mean, not so much a jerk

as much as I was just sort of pushy.

Alright, no, actually to tell you the truth, I was a jerk.

You know, but it's my job.

I just, I take it very seriously

and it makes me a little aggressive sometimes.

And I know that it's a problem and I've been working on it.

I'm actually a lot better.

You should've seen me before.

It's a trait, it runs in my family, you know.

So, what I'm trying to say here is that I'm sorry, okay?

Do you ever breathe?

Yeah, that's another thing, I talk a lot.

Oh, really? Hadn't noticed.

You know, I guess I figure

that if I let someone else get a word in edgewise, well,

they're just gonna tell me I'm wrong.

You know, my therapist says that it's 'cause I'm insecure

but, I don't know. What do you think?

I think it's okay to listen.

You know, you're smart.

I like brains in a man. I think that's sexy.

L-I think maybe we should eat before the food gets cold.

So, what, uh...

What do you know about The Flash?

The Flash? Um, not much. Why?

Well, I have this theory.

I think that he's a member of the police department.

Really? What makes you say that?

Well, come on. Think about it.

Why can't they catch him?

It's because he knows every move that they're gonna make.

It's because he's a cop himself.

Interesting theory. Not sure I buy it.

I asked some of your fellow officers

who they all thought The Flash was.

Everyone had a different answer.

Your friend Julio even thought once that you were The Flash.

What's so funny?

Well... you don't really strike me as the type.

You're not physical enough.

Well, I stay in shape.

Oh, no, no, no, don't get me wrong.

You look terrific for a scientist.

Well, thank you.

Listen, why are you so interested in The Flash anyway?

Well, he's news, you know.

I would love to get an interview with him.

Any reporter would.

[Tina] Barry?

Tina... this is Terri Kronenberg.

She's a reporter.

Oh, yes, I've heard about you.

Uh, Tina McGee. She's a scientist too.

At STAR Labs.

Look, sorry to interrupt this.

But, Barry, I've just analyzed the tissue sample you gave me

and found something very interesting.

- Would you excuse us a moment? - Uh, sure.

[Tina] There was a very low level of residual radiation.

Nothing too dangerous, but much higher than normal.

What does it mean?

I think those men were frozen

by something that uses nuclear energy as a power source.

[Barry] Sounds like some kind of weapon.

It does, doesn't it?

Bellows, what's going on?

Some creep just phoned in.

He left three packages with bombs in the city

- and they're all about to set off in five minutes. - Where?

One at Central Books

one at St...

So, um, you're a reporter.

That must be interesting.

And you're a scientist.

That must be dull. Excuse me.

Don't touch that!

Where is it?

Yeah, I knew if I raced you all over town

you'd run out of steam.

You look pretty hot.

I think I better cool you off.

But you know what?

Even you can't outrun the cold hand of death.

Looks like we're gonna have to call this one a draw, huh?

Till we meet again.

[Tina] Still hurting, huh?

Yeah, but it's better.

I'm telling you, that blast went through the suit

like it wasn't even there.

Barry, I did some research last night.

I think I know where that weapon came from.

A company in California have been doing research

in biological cryogenics.

The freezing of living organisms.

Last year they developed a portable freezing unit

powered by a lightweight nuclear module.

It can fire a blast that can lower a temperature

to minus 200 degrees Fahrenheit at a range of 100 feet.

Six months ago, burglars broke in and stole it.

That's the weapon he was carrying.

Barry, I want you to consider something.

Last night was a trap.

Whoever set those bombs knew The Flash was gonna

race around town trying to diffuse them.

And the exertion would exhaust you.

I think you should lay low for a while.

Hide out till it's safe?

I can't do that.

Barry, someone is trying to kill you.

One blast from this weapon could freeze you in your tracks

before you even got close.

I'll just have to find him first.

Okay, but I want to be able to keep an eye on you.

I've implanted this mini-transmitter

in your suit's earpiece.

It'll allow me to track you.

If there's an emergency and your vital signs reach critical.

It'll trigger an alarm off here in the lab.

Thanks, Tina.

You know, I really do appreciate the concern.

- - Yeah. Crime lab.

- Allen speaking. - [Fosnight] It's Fosnight.

Yeah, Fosnight. What do you got?

That guy that tried to frost The Flash

is probably the same guerrilla who threw that

igloo party at the St. Diogenes Club.

Yeah. No kidding. What's his name?

How about a nickname, Captain Cold.

Ex-mercenary, now he's a hit man.

Captain Cold?

What's this guy look like?

Heh. It's pretty hard to miss him. He's an albino.

Don't let them little pink eyes fool you

the guy's a stone killer.

Hit men have employers, right?

Right. There's a power play brewing in the underworld.

Some punk from back East named Jimmy Swain

is trying to move in.

He hired Cold to refrigerate the obstacles

and that includes The Flash.

Alright. Thanks, Fosnight.

Oh, uh, how much is this gonna cost me?

You couldn't afford it, copper.

But The Flash is a pretty good egg, more or less.

So this one's a giveaway.

Later, Allen.

Yeah.

"The inquisitor?

"Inquisitor has learned that police and scientists

"from STAR Labs have joined forces to search for a killer

with a nuclear-powered freeze weapon."

Here you go.

"Murphy's Law, the true story of Michael Frances Murphy

the cop who saved Central City."

My Eyes Only, Bellows. My Eyes Only.

What are you doing?

I'm writing the first of a long line of best-selling novels

that will allow me to be the guy on the hammock

with a blue drink on the French Riviera.

Well, when did you save Central City?

It's called dramatic license.

Oh, I had a different word for it, see.

Where's Terri Kronenberg?

Uh, last time I saw her she was in Lt. Garfield's office.

- Something wrong? - I'll handle it.

Also, I need an address on Jimmy Swain.

He's visiting criminal talent from out of town.

Alright.

Did you write this?

Me?

Uh, whatever gave you that idea?

You're the only one who could've heard us talking last night.

- Well, I-- - I called "The Clarion."

They never heard of you.

Neither did the mayor's office.

You're not here to do a story on the department

that was just a scam. What's it really about?

Why don't you call the department of public affairs?

- I'm sure that they-- - The Flash!

That's it, isn't it?

You want to do a story about The Flash for "The inquisitor."

- No, you don't understand. - The hell I don't.

You were pumping me for information last night.

Look, I have tried to get a job

with "The Clarion" for two years.

I only went to work for "The inquisitor"

because they'd hire me.

Oh, yeah. "The Flash is an alien?"

Well, I figured if I could get a real story on The Flash

then maybe "The Clarion" would give me a chance.

Either you tell Lt. Garfield the truth or I will.

[Jimmy] You're supposed to be low profile.

What's next? Your own TV series?

You said the Flash was gonna be dead in 24 hours.

What happened?

He was faster than I thought.

But don't worry about it. Don't get upset.

It won't happen again.

I've built an electronic scanner

that allows me to track anything

moving through the city faster than 200 miles per hour.

Next time he won't get away.

There's not gonna be a next time. You're fired.

But we have a contract.

I'm canceling it. You generate too much publicity.

What about the rest of my money?

The other half was on delivery.

You didn't deliver.

Okay, if that's the way you want it.

Oh, by the way,

I have something for you, a little gift. It's a...

I always give one of these to my customers

at the end of every job.

It's, uh...

...for good luck.

Just to show there's no hard feelings.

See you around.

You know, that's the trouble with the world

these days, Mr. Swain.

People have forgotten about honor and commitment.

Nobody cancels a contract with me.

Once I take a job, I always finish it...

...no matter what.

[Julio] Hey, Barry, where you been, man?

We've got work to do.

- The iceman struck again. - Where?

Remember that guy you asked Bellows to locate? Jimmy Swain?

Well, he found him in an apartment

at Bradbury Arms frozen solid.

- Jimmy Swain? - Yeah, but that's not all.

Garfield just got a call on another one.

Somebody found an iced stiff

at the metal works that's on Sturgeon Street.

I'll take Sturgeon Street.

I'll take Bradbury Arms then.

Gotcha! Hah! Great make-up, huh?

Feel sort of like a Christmas tree.

- Are you out of your mind? - Oh, hi.

Uh, listen, I'm Terri Kronenberg.

I'm a reporter. I know that you're a very busy guy.

I really only need like five minutes for an interview, okay?

It'd be really important to me, I'm sure that you wouldn't mind.

So, what's the deal?

Do you sleep in this suit or you wear pajamas?

Get these cuffs off of me.

Uh, no way, pal. Not till I get my interview.

Are you gonna give me the key or do I have to search you?

Well, that sounds like fun, but I don't have it on me.

I hid it somewhere in the city limits

so you can either give me my interview

or we can search the whole city.

I've got a better option, hypothermia.

Hey.

Hey, get up.

Get up!

Sorry.

This just isn't your night.

- Barry, my God! -

Where are you?

Sorry. No witnesses.

Clarion.

Hi, I need to talk to the news editor.

Sorry. He's gone home for the day.

Well, you better find him and fast.

Tell him to dig out his checkbook.

Somebody just killed The Flash and I got pictures of it.

Come on! Let's go!

Get the body to the forensics fast.

Let's go!

Get it in there!

Perfect. Bellows, inside.

Come on.

- Give me a hand over here. - Yeah.

"National Inquisitor."

Yes, this is Hogan Film Labs.

We have a rush delivery for one of your reporters

a Ms. Terri Kronenberg.

Uh, we've seemed to have misplaced the address.

You can't die. I won't let you die.

Damn it, Barry! Come on!

Why won't you listen to me, Barry? Why?

Come on, Barry!

Tina.

Barry?

I thought you were dead.

Oh, I'm s-s-so cold.

Why am I alive?

Your high-speed metabolism must have saved you.

I could see everything.

He was standing over me...

...g-grinning, and then...

...he went, he went for Terri.

Terri Kronenberg? She was there?

He's going to kill her.

Barry, you're in no shape.

Just call the station, alright?

Tell them to get to her apartment.

Ba...

[Captain Cold] Miss Kronenberg, it's Jason from Central City Courier

here to pick up your pictures.

I told "The Clarion" not to pick 'em up for another hour.

Well, I can't wait. I'm here.

You ordered some ice?

What's the matter? Don't you wanna come out and play?

I'm here to take you to the Ice Capades.

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll freeze all your stuff!

I know you're in there. I can smell your cheap perfume.

Are you hiding in the shower?

The iceman cometh.

Hello there.

- You're alive. - No thanks to you.

Uh, hey, I'm sorry about what happened.

It's just that I...

Oh, oh!

Oh, look at what you've done!

You ruined all my photos!

You know, I could have got 10,000 bucks

for those pictures of you and Mr-Mr. Ice Cube here.

Oh, thanks a lot. There goes my career.

Wait a minute.

You mean to say you had pictures of Captain Cold

and you didn't call the police?

Yeah, they would've seen 'em on the front page of "The Clarion."

I don't believe you.

All you care about is your money and your career.

You almost got us killed!

No, I-I-I didn't, I didn't mean to--

You didn't mean to what?

To be an unprincipled, manipulative brat

whose thinks the truth

is something to be twisted to get what you want?

If you really want to be a good reporter...

...you have to learn to care about the truth

and about people.

The police will be here for him.

Hey, Murph, did you hear the news?

Looks like The Flash isn't dead after all.

What?

Well, he captured that Captain Cold character

at Terri Kronenberg's apartment.

I knew that frozen phony we found at the metal works

wasn't the real thing.

Murphy!

Would you mind putting your memoirs away long enough

to escort the prisoner to lockup?

Yes, sir.

Alright, iceberg, let's move it.

Easy now, fellas.

I'm gonna need your glasses.

My eyes are very sensitive to the light.

Yeah, well, then keep them shut.

I need your glasses.

If you wish.

No, uh...

...you keep 'em.

"There I stood, face-to-face

"with the madman known as the Ghost.

"He had, he had kidnapped my girl killed my partner

"and shot my dog.

"Now it was time for him to learn

the real meaning of Murphy's Law."

Hey, hey, hey! That's private property. Come on.

You guys will just have to wait for the hardcover edition

like the rest of the world, alright?

Don't you have doughnuts to eat and coffee to ruin?

Anything. Come on.

You know, I had no idea you were such a hero, Murph.

I mean, with a guy like you around, who needs The Flash?

You'll be laughing on the other side of your badges

when I sell those movie rights, pal.

Hey, you.

Hey, you.

Hey, what are you doing?

- What's going on? -

It's a portable heating unit we've been experimenting with

for work in arctic conditions.

If you're hit with a blast of cold air

it will instantaneously stabilize

your body temperature with a blast of heat.

But with the sub-zero temperatures

that Captain Cold can create it will probably only work once.

Alright, let's hope that once is all I'll need.

I've been studying the properties of his freeze gun.

A hard reflective surface may bounce the ice beam away.

Thanks. I'll remember.

It's everywhere. Find him!

Murphy!

Yes, sir?

Did you search "Winter" thoroughly

before you put him in lockup?

Absolutely! Stem to stern.

Obviously not good enough! You're on report.

[Captain Cold] I always finish it, no matter what.

[Murphy] Because of me, he escaped.

Now, I'm the guy that screwed it up.

Boy were you right, partner. You know that Murphy's Law?

More like Murphy's guffaw.

Look, I didn't say that, okay?

Yeah, well the only way I'm going to redeem myself

is to turn that frosty the snowman into a puddle.

Tina, listen, I'm okay. Alright? I'm okay, I'm just.

I have a little cold, that's all.

[Tina] Well, you don't sound okay.

Look, I want you to stay in bed and take care of yourself

and no flashing around or you'll end up with pneumonia.

- Yes, mom. - I am not your mother.

- - Ow! Jeez!

Ah...

Uhh.

Whew!

Uh, listen, I'm not feeling very well.

Could you come back later?

Oh, Barry, I really need to talk to you.

This just going to take a minute.

Uh... alright.

Here goes.

I was a real louse and I know it.

You were so nice to me, and you trusted me

and I just lied to you, and there's really no excuse.

I was only thinking of myself, you know.

I wasn't even thinking of anybody else.

It's just that my job's so important to me, you know.

And I really wanted to get a big story.

W-What? Friend of yours?

Coming!

Dude, where you been, man?

I've been looking all over for you.

I tried calling you, the line was busy...

Okay. Alright, I get it.

No, I came home 'cause I'm sick. What's up?

Okay, look. We got a real crisis on our hands.

Captain Cold broke out of lockup

and he froze a city bus with passengers inside.

Then he called the station and said if The Flash

didn't meet him he'd let them freeze to death.

There's no sign of the Flash.

- Where's the bus? - It's on poplar and fourth.

Garfield thinks with our scientific knowledge

we can figure out a way to stop this guy.

If that bus is frozen those passengers

won't last ten minutes.

You go ahead. I'll meet you there.

Whoa. This could be a big story!

- You! Goodbye. - No, I'm coming with you.

What do you mean you're coming with me?

- I've got work to do. - Well, I can help!

Look, you could get hurt.

You don't understand, danger is my business.

- -

Look out!

What's the matter?

Didn't you get to play in the snow

when you were a kid?

I like that. That's good.

You know, I knew you wouldn't turn down my little invitation.

I'm only here long enough to see that you're put back

in jail where you belong.

Oh, really?

Well, then why don't you just come and get me?

What's the matter?

Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of a little ice.

C'est la vie.

This time,

I'm going to use full power.

So you don't walk away again.

Maybe I'm warming up to you after all.

Those summer colds.

They're the worst.

- How'd you do it, Murphy? - Do what, sir?

You iced the ice man, didn't you?

- You mean you didn't see... - See what, Murph?

[Terri] Come on, come on, I'm a reporter! Let me through!

Murphy, when the paper gets a hold of this

You're going to be a hero.

Me?

Yeah! Come on, tell us.

How'd you take down Captain Cold?

Oh. Well, it wasn't easy.

There he was, the man who brought

Central City to its knees.

And there I was, Michael Francis Murphy

the cop who put law back in "Law and order."

Only one of us was going to walk away from that, so...

Well, suddenly...

Go on, Murph.

Aw, nuts. The truth is, I didn't do anything.

All I saw was a streak of red and a blaze of lightning.

It was The Flash.

You're just gonna have to read about that

in my book, my new book.

"The Scarlet Speedster And Me."

Somebody pinch me.

Murphy saw The Flash for himself!

I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

- But, you just... - Wait a minute.

You're going to have to read about it in the book

but in your case, Bellows, the comic book version. Okay?

Lousy heat wave.

Okay, somebody call the coroner to pick this guy up

before he melts.

On the other hand, may be better to call

the good humor man.

Lunch, anyone?

Hello... again.

Thai, Greek, Moroccan.

Sounds great. Let's go.

You know...

...I want to thank you.

Between you and The Flash, I've had to take a good

long, hard look at myself and my career.

I quit my job at the inquisitor.

You did?

What are you going to do?

You're looking at the newest writer for the happy times

greeting card company. "A card for every occasion."

Okay.

"Roses are red, violets are blue.

If you don't pay our bill, our company will sue."

Congratulations. I think.

Well, at least it's honest.

I figure it will keep me in corn flakes

until I get a better job from a newspaper.

I think you made the right decision.

You know, I finally figured out who The Flash is.

- You did? - Mm-hmm.

I still think he's a cop.

Someone you wouldn't suspect in a million years.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

He's a nice guy. he's friendly, concerned.

- Works at the crime lab. - The crime lab?

Mm-hmm.

Julio Mendez.

- Julio? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God! really? Julio?

Yeah. The way I see it, he puts on a little makeup

a little padding under his suit.

That way, he figures no one will even suspect.

Oh, man, that is amazing. I mean, who would have guessed?

- Julio? - Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Well, his secret's safe with me.

After all, he did save my life.

Julio, uh, want some couscous?

Uh, no, thanks.

You know, we were just talking about you.

Yeah? What about?

Well, we were wondering where you've been.

Oh, you know. I was just out running around.

Yeah. We thought so.