Original subtitles

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Pauli.

~ Good morning. ~ Hello.

~ Let me get past. ~ Did you sleep well?

Very good. Go.

What about my breakfast?

Marusa is in the kitchen, she's got it for you.

Easy, you'll make me drop the juice.

Come on, let me by.

And the safe-conduct?

It's eight o'clock and I have to get your parents up, since they're heading off.

Chechu!

Well, don't be like that.

Idiot!

Good morning, ma'am!

Give it to me. Just the juice.

Felipe, it's eight o'clock!

Good morning.

Your breakfast, sir.

What's the day like?

A little hot.

And the lady?

Felipe, you're going to make us late!

In the bathroom.

But not on your life! Leave off!

~ A kiss! ~ No!

~ What about your boobs? ~ The boobs, not on my life!

Very good! I'll tell my mother that Sunday you took some of her jewelry.

Very funny. Forget it.

Wait, wait, wait. I won't say that. Look.

~ What? ~ This.

~ What's that? ~ The Bible. Listen.

"You are beautiful, my love, you're beautiful.

"Thy lips are like scarlet ribbon, and your mouth funny.

"Your two breasts, deer grazing among the lilies."

How can you pretend the Bible has that crap?

"The Song of Songs", damn, look, here!

"Your waist is comparable to the palm tree and thy breasts to clusters.

"And I said, will climb the palm tree and I'll take your clusters."

Hey, funny boy, grab clusters from the palm tree your mother is!

Can you believe this boy!

Well, you know what I think of the gift you bought.

So six thousand pesetas for a cutlery set isn't enough for you.

Yes, the truth is, I think it's a bit cheap.

I warn you: we will be fatal to Peralta. I'm sure. Come on.

~ After everything Peralta's done for you! ~ I've already paid.

Peralta's not getting married, it's his daughter.

We should have bought the Chinese pots.

But what are you saying?! A cutlery like that, and to the death!

You'll see Paquita Regules showing up bringing the pots.

I couldn't care less.

But, hey, are you having breakfast in the can?

But didn't say we're late?

It's to save time. Right?

You should have gotten up earlier.

OK, whatever you say.

This coffee is cold.

If only the cutlery were sterling silver...!

A knife made out of silver would cost a fortune, look...

and they're going to fire this guy pretty soon, so let's settle for this.

Why didn't you say so?

So why are we going to this wedding?

Well, we have to maintain our image, right?

You're always so fine!

Oops! If I don't do it in the bathroom, where do I do? Oh!

Well, go, go, hurry up, you know what the traffic will be like.

Come on, man, it's me.

Someday I'll give you a right hiding, you hear me?

Look, you made me throw it away.

Come on, let's check assistance.

~ They're going out right away? ~ It seems so.

You go on...still wasting time with the music of degenerates.

But don't you see I'm loading the English course?

To fool your mother, of course.

But that'll be of no help to you on your exams.

Come on, don't be a drag! And chew some coffee beans, so you don't smell of tobacco.

Wow! Yes, yes, best not to irritate her.

On account of how upset she gets when they're going out on the road!

Man, how strange, Tedy's in the kitchen!

Come on, hurry up, they're going out.

I'm going, I'm going, I haven't had breakfast yet.

~ Is it ready yet? ~ It's coming, it's coming!

Hurry, Marusa, that at this rate I'll be without breakfast all morning, woman.

Hey, they're waiting for me.

Breakfast.

~ That's it? ~ Today, that's the menu.

Hey, if you give me some bread I won't tell my sister about you holding a conference with your village.

Fourteen minutes you were talking to your mother!

I kept an eye on the time!

Oh, you, Tedy, always with your shit!

Yes, my shit, my shit...!

Well...a slice of bread.

Just one?

Just one, and thank me. If your sister learns about it, we're doomed!

This diet...it's a killer. It's killing me, killing me!

This is new, eating it shell and all...!

Woman, I have to eat something. Don't I?

And me, what do you tell me? That you'll tell your sister,...

I'm already sick of going around with a bunch of keys in each hand.

All the food is locked up!

What a shame!

This is more like a prison than a house.

And why did your sister got this obsession, that you lose weight?

Because she wants to marry me off.

Oh, man! Well, don't worry, fat people get married, too. Or don't they?

You see, my husband, poor guy, rest in peace, always told me:...

"Marusa, fat makes you pretty."

Yes, but the girls my sister is fond of don't like fat boys.

For God's sake, don't drool all over that chicken!

I was just smelling it!

Smell it, smell it, smell it...!

Hand it over, overalls!

Oh, then you don't want to be scolded, eating flour like the pigs!

Out of my kitchen, out of my kitchen!

Hey, I did not tell my sister about the phone call and you don't tell her about the flour. Deal?

I warn you, I'll beat you!

~ Felipe! ~ What do you want?

Oh, I warn you, I'm leaving!

~ I'm coming. ~ I'm not waiting any longer. I'm leaving!

Yes, yes, you're right, better go out as soon as possible, since there'll be lots of traffic.

In addition, the fresh morning air is nicer.

~ No, no, no, no, the Volvo! ~ But the boss said...

I said the Volvo!

OK, now what?

If you want to act like a playboy, you'll go on your own.

With me, you take the Volvo.

If something happens, it's just too bad for the idiot coming the other way.

No, you're right, the Volvo is much better. A Volvo is a tank, a tank.

Well, I bet he'll crash it.

Oh, Chechu, son, stop the chanting, what with the nerves that I have today!

If you don't want me to study, that's fine.

No, it's not that, my dear, it's that we're traveling and you never know, you know.

And this year...this year you have to study hard.

And you have to pass everything, especially mathematics.

Don't worry, I'll take care of that.

You, into the car.

~ You as always want me out of sight. ~ And you, you're always such a burden.

You've been smoking.

Felipe, your father was smoking yet again!

No, no, no!

Let me smell your breath. Let me smell your breath.

The morning coffee!

I don't trust you even a smidgeon.

And Tedy, where's Tedy? Tedy! Tedy!

I'm coming, I'm coming.

I was working off the calories of that egg, you see, jogging.

So I see, good, good.

My God, this is hard as can be, it's turned into muscle, already! Feel it, Chechu, touch it!

Thanks to the gym and my willpower.

We're almost crying. Give me a kiss.

~ What's this? ~ What?

~ What's this? ~ What?

You don't touch me!

~ Flour. ~ Flour?

The scale! The scale!

~ I swear I don't know what it is...! ~ I won't leave here without learning what you weigh.

The scale!

It isn't, sister, please, every day when I shave I put on talcum powder!

At this rate we'll never get there.

And you shut your mouth, just wait, this is more important!

He weighs 275.06 pounds

The idiot's gained nearly nine ounces!

Imagine, pure starch!

~ It is dust, talcum powder. ~ Talcum powder! Get dressed!

So...I haven't even left yet and you're overindulging yourself again!

But, seriously, what am I to do with you?

Shut up!

Very good. We'll talk when I get back. And if we have to operate on you, operate we will!

No, I don't want to be operated on!

Look, if you get your uncle not to gain another ounce while we're away...

when you finish the course, we'll buy that bike.

Even if I fail?

That's another matter.

You'll answer to me for Chechu's grades. Are we clear?

Relax. We'll go over everything a lot, especially mathematics.

Hey, if it suits you, I'll watch to make sure granddad doesn't smoke!

You, you dedicate yourself to losing weight, that's your thing.

Yes, and take care that he doesn't get into our bathroom.

Damn obsession! Don't you have your own?

Woman, when my belly is about to explode...

No, he says that because the bathroom is his son's, he'll pee where he wants. That's said.

He better behave or I'll send him to pee in one of those homes out there for seniors.

Would you?

I could do all this and more.

My problem's glandular, the same thing happened to Dad.

Don't even mention Daddy! Daddy was a worthy man, and he respected dieting.

Chechu, help me. Open your mouth, you're going to puke out that flour this very moment.

No! If I puke I'll get even hungrier.

Hunger, hunger! He gets hungry, that's what he says!

Dad was fat, fatter than me, and mom didn't say anything.

~ Goodbye. ~ Goodbye.

Pauli, will you be long?

~ I'm nearly done. ~ Hurry up, we're all heading for the living room.

Pauli!

Don't you think you should swim less and study more?

But I'm practicing all the time, Grandpa!

Check it out. What's Uncle Tedy doing up there?

Can you tell what you are looking, piece of meat with eyes?

Ten past eleven, Don Jos� discovers I'm watching so he doesn't smoke...

I'm called a "piece of meat with eyes."

Take a note, write it down, asshole.

You can insult me as much as you can, but don't even think of smoking. You got it?

You're scared, you are!

Afraid? Afraid, me? Of you?

Wait, now you'll see. Idiot! Look.

Look. Have you seen me?

You'll never have the balls to go into my sister's bathroom!

What, I have no balls? Even more than Santiago's horse!

Now...now you'll see what's good.

Don Jos�'s coming in from the pool with his suspenders undone!

And the fly as well. Take notes, if you know write. Ignoramus!

Don Jos� goes to my sister's bathroom.

Bananas! Useless! It's not your sister's bathroom.

And this house, and the one in Majorca, and the ship,...

and mink, and the jewels of that wild beast of a sister,...

all, all are owned by my son.

And calls her "a wild beast".

And what about community property, hmm?

I also shit on the community property!

Wait, wait, let me note that.

Well, but aren't you ashamed? What do you want?

To see me sitting on the crapper? Out, out!

He'd better get a job.

He'll better get out of here soon...a man like a castle, and living off his sister.

Also at the expense of my son, who actually pays.

Parasite! You're a parasite!

~ I don't want to kiss. ~ One, one, one!

But...I've already crapped this morning.

I'll note the time? OK?

~ Eleven o'clock, twenty five minutes ten seconds. ~ You're a bastard, and with toast!

Currently there's no sound. Has he repented?

Okay, shit, I didn't shit.

But...piss...I peed in the sink of that witch of a sister,...

and that of that eunuch.

Because if my son weren't a castrato...

he wouldn't allow her to treat me like this.

Looks like he's about to pee.

A nuisance for both of them. That's what I am.

An old wreck.

And with the junk...away with them.

If they had the courage, they'd send me to an asylum.

But since they don't dare, they get along with waiting for me to die.

~ Infamous! ~ I'm called "infamous".

Watching me like a criminal!

~ Oh, shit! ~ Who's in there? Open up!

Your own grandfather! And with the machine to record everything!

No, fuck, that was a joke.

Come on, get away from me, go on, beat it!

The machine...take the machine.

Look here. The fingers go here.

And this is the trigger. Squeeze it when I tell you.

Open, open!

Focus.

Come on, man!

You see me? Well come on, press.

Watch what I do with Mom's toothbrush.

And now with Dad's.

Open up! Who's in there?

Ta-da!

Open up, open up!

Okay, shit, I didn't shit. But...piss...I peed in the sink of that witch of a sister,...

Watch what I do with Mom's toothbrush.

And now with Dad's.

Ta-da!

What a shame!

Here, let me give the cassette to keep you calm.

Spit your parents'...!

That's not...this's not done.

And what about pissing?

I know I shouldn't have,...

but your mother gets on my nerves.

Why does she leave that squealer of her brother watching over me?

I'm no child, what a pain!

Well, my uncle is watching you, you keep an eye on me,...

I spy on my uncle, and all three of us watch over the three maids and the gardener.

That's different.

Open up, open up!

I have to be in there to see what you are doing.

Open, Chechu.

This is called "parallel police" and it's unconstitutional.

What will the constitution do now?

No, no, no more, they'll notice it.

You'll refill the bottle with the brandy from the kitchen...

and that's that.

How did you know how I...?

If you've seen you do it a thousand times!

Cheers!

It's true...

The good news is that your father doesn't even notice,...

and then he says he has a palate.

Chechu, I'm writing down everything...

and if you don't open up I'll report everything to your mother!

And the fat man does his thing! He's a cretin!

What have you been saying that I couldn't overhear?

Well, we'd better not upset him too much.

An arm, that's what that moron would give to learn about the mink.

What about the mink?

Look, I have good character, but occasionally I develop swollen balls.

With the humiliations to which I'm subjected by your mother, say, for example:...

these pants.

You don't like them?

Can't you see them?

I've always been in gray, because I'm a serious person, but now I'm dressed like a clown!

The day I wear them to the caf�, I'll be the butt of huge ridicule from my friends.

Well, what about the mink?

Huh? Oh, that! When your mother made me wear this monstrosity...

I went to their closets with my razor...

and risss...risss risss...I shaved her mink a bit.

Really?

That's right. I bet you never learned about it!

No, but I know about the button.

I don't understand.

The button on your fly, when Marusa sewed it on for you.

Ah, yes, the one that fell off.

But the point is that she sewed it on while you were still wearing the pants.

Well, because I was in a hurry.

Yeah, but your thing grew into a blood sausage and you asked her to wag it.

I don't agree that...!

Don't hit me, you cunt!

And I didn't even tell my mother!

...and forty minutes. Jos� and Chechu leave the room...

Go and smell your sister's ass! Damn!

In the room, I discover they've drunk some brandy.

Glass confiscated as evidence.

Ah, no, no, no! The fingerprints!

Fuck the...!

Let's go!

Hey.

Bon appetit.

So it's you, Florito!

What, will you let me in or do I have to wait for dessert?

~ Yes, yes, yes. I'll be right there. ~ And Chechu?

In his room, studying.

Hey, please, but don't tell him I was playing with the dogs. OK?

Me? I'll be as quiet as a tomb. Don't worry, pigeon.

You're a real buddy, Florito!

You want me to tell you?

If you don't erase that tape, the boss will throw me out of the house when she gets back.

I've recorded you lots of times.

You mean about the perfume?

Why don't you record your father, rich kid?

Because I like you more.

How stubborn! Would you teach me to use it?

I'll teach you what you want.

Do you also teach me to swim?

Whatever you want, whatever you want.

Because your mother talks heaps about democracy, but she won't let me into the pool.

Well, you know how she is.

I'm not saying she should let me swim with you, but at dusk, when there's no one...

I could learn to swim.

And so when I go on vacation I could swim in the sea without fear.

Because I'm going to go to Benidorm.

With your boyfriend?

A colleague is lending us a room in his apartment. On the beach.

Will you sleep with him?

I am already a big girl, right?

Get out of this sweatshop and go rally for a while.

No, coach, I have to study.

What if he gives you AIDS?

But my boyfriend doesn't shoot up.

And he doesn't present his butt for fucking, like someone else.

But how can you crave this babe?

Look at her, with these lumps full of butter!

Lumps, eh? Well, wouldn't you like them!

How horrible, they're flabbier than your uncle Tedy, which is saying something!

Come on, come on.

Leave off.

Do you really love that guy?

But what's this all about, buddy?

This doesn't make you look good.

She's a suckling sow, how can you stoop so low?

Florito, I hope they'll fuck you in the ass.

Thank you.

By the way, I just saw your uncle stealing food from the dogs.

Who?

Tedy, your uncle, with a stick and a wire, which...

Great!

Wait! Where are you going? Wait!

But...!

Grandfather. Grandpa!

I want to apologize.

Can you hear me?

Open up!

I don't want to.

But I haven't asked for forgiveness?

You and I are finished.

Listen: we have my uncle in the palm of our hands.

He can't squeal to Mom anymore.

Well, if you don't believe me, come to the salon.

We're here.

What's going on?

What's going on? Nothing.

Florito said you wanted to see me.

~ Don't you want to see a movie? ~ What movie?

It's called "The Abominable Fatman" --- I bet that rings a bell!

Don't insult me, OK?

Here's the old coot.

Well, how's the old prostate?

Better than yours, of course.

Heads up! Movie!

You understand? Here's your license to shit, smoke, or whatever you want.

Bastards! Give me the camera! Gimme, gimme!

Give me the camera!

Take a note, take a note.

You're going to regret it, all of you're going to regret it! I swear on this!

Well, if your mother sees this tape she'll cut your willy off, right?

If he behaves himself, we won't show it to her. Right, Grandpa?

I'd rather discuss the matter privately, and on another occasion.

I grasped the subtle hint.

Well, let's go take a few balls.

You'd be better off studying instead of wasting time with this degenerate.

But why does it bother this man so much that I'm just slightly queer?

That's normal enough!

Slightly? You're as queer as a cathedral!

It's your fault for pissing him off.

Well, come on, let's see if we can beat Jacinto.

It's yours, right?

But...

Leave it...Oh!

Don't mess with my half!

Play your own side!

Sorry.

~ Mine. ~ Take that.

Mine.

Damn, now could you play with a little less malice!?

~ Are you hurt? ~ Yes!

~ Chechu! ~ What is it?

That beast of your uncle, he's been drinking bleach.

Oh, God!

"My dear sister: I'm killing myself over your father-in-law and your son, who treat me like a dog."

But, are you listening?

Delirious, delirious!

"I send you a kiss before dying, and I forgive you. Goodbye. Tedy."

"Postscript: make sure they fuck Florito in the ass a lot for spying on me."

Oh, so kind of him!

OK, but have you drunk something or not?

I don't know, I caught him with the bottle up to his mouth.

Shouldn't we take him to a hospital?

No, no, not a hospital!

I want to die here in the kitchen!

Oh, the poor thing!

It's all lies!

Oh, I'm burning on the inside!

It's pure coals!

Please fetch a priest!

Let's see...let me see...Open up, asshole!

Open, Tedy.

With the spoon, the spoon. Like a lever.

Yeah, yeah, let me, let me.

No, no, no!

Look, look, look...

Oh, he screams like a suckling pig!

Nothing, he hasn't drunk a drop.

Faker!

Out of here, everyone get out of here!

Out, out!

Out!

Well, no, I don't like him.

And if it were up to me, I wouldn't let that creepy-crawly into the house.

Yeah, but surely Florito's on Mom's good side...

Sure, because he has a title.

Your mother just goes crazy over titles...

Man, since she's a monarchist...!

Monarchist? Don't make me laugh!

She's a social climber, that's what she is.

You introduce her to a marqu�s, and she'll cling to his underpants no matter how degenerate he may be.

Sorry, I didn't mean it.

Man, gazpacho!

Give me just a little bit of pepper. Just the tiniest bit.

Do you know that the gazpacho was invented by the soldiers of ancient Rome?

Grandpa, you say that every summer, you know? Fuck, how boring!

But when a thing is instructive it never hurts.

Because the Roman soldiers...

I know, I know, had to live with oil and vinegar, and that's all found in the countryside.

Thank you.

Except onion, lots of everything else.

You're mistaken, hey? You're wrong, because the onions are very healthy.

They have lots of vitamin C.

And it's a great diuretic.

Wow, you eat it, then.

Oh, well I'd like to! But I can't, they disagree with me.

Very loudly!

What?

Oh, nothing.

What you breath out is wine, when the lady's not here...

This girl is shameless!

One day I'll put an end to her tricks.

Well, where were we? You watch your step.

With onions?

No, with Florito.

I don't crave men, Grandpa!

But, of course not!

In my family, there were some who may have been around the block, I don't deny that,...

but people of that sort, no way.

So you'll feel happy that I like women.

Well...it's normal, right?

Well, then I want Pauli.

But Pauli's not in your class!

Yeah, right. My mother the social climber, she wets her pants in front of the Marqu�s,...

but you, you're a Republican, and you say a maid's not good enough for me?

I come from below, from the working class, and I'm proud of it.

I know, I know, and you became a teacher by dint of sacrifice.

But calm down, I just said I like her, I don't want to marry her.

Ah...well...I understand. Pauli's very cute.

Cute? Pauli is prima! So I want to fuck her.

Wait a minute!

While I'm here...

Ah, you're eating!

Didn't you have scorched guts?

And for the record, I really wanted to commit suicide!

Well, of course, that girl...what a body!

Her breast burst out of her neckline, the cute girl!

Tremendous, she's tremendous!

I understand that excite you.

In other words, she inspires you some erections.

Do you understand me, right? We're not in the middle ages.

In the morning, you wouldn't believe it. I have to piss parabolic from the hallway to reach the bowl.

Like in the artillery!

For the infantry fires at zero elevation,...

i.e. straight ahead...

but artillery shoot at an elevation.

Well...

but wanting to have carnal relations with her...there's a big abyss.

And what about you, with Marusa?

~ Wait a minute! Me...I am myself. Right? ~ Yes.

~ And I'm a widower. ~ Yes.

But you're a brat, just thirteen.

I'm almost fourteen, and I've already been coming for two years.

Have you eaten master Tedy's steak?

No woman, no! How could I?

Come on, put that on the table. We'll serve ourselves.

~ Then I'll collect the plates. ~ Yes.

~ Here, Pauli. ~ Thank you.

When you're finished, you'll give me a ring?

But, hey, would you tell me what you're up to?

Am I going to stay a virgin forever?

Oh, what times, what things, what a mess!

There's no respect anymore...there is nothing left!

This afternoon, I'm going to teach her to swim.

~ Who? ~ Pauli, in the pool.

But what are you saying? Don't know your mother has forbidden her in there?

So what?

I don't want to know anything, I decline all responsibility.

Oh, come, sit and eat, you relax.

Oh, the asylum! They'll send me to the asylum!

That'll be my boyfriend, I told him to call me now.

Hello?

Oh, it's you!

I don't know...Well, I'll go out right now.

Until then.

Hey, I'm going out for a while, OK?

Go on, go gently. Oh!

May I?

Come on in, thief, come in, I was waiting for you.

Quiet, with her gone, we're all alone.

I know.

What is it today?

Chicken between sliced pitahaya.

And it's...scrumptious.

Look here, Rosebud!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Man, man! Are you hurt?

No, no, it's that I just got it.

I told you I don't like you riding like you're on a horse!

Come on, cunt, you're not my mother, damn it!

Up.

You could have killed yourself!

~ Come on, let me see. Let me see. ~ Hey, it's nothing, bitch, nothing!

Asshole! You're an asshole!

Now you'll see when I change the tires.

Come here, my sheep, come here.

What? Are they in?

If they were, how would I be able to come out?

They can see us! They can see us!

But there's no one around, the bosses are gone for the day.

By the way, why don't we go inside, and I'll nail you to the mattress?

Enough, rich guy. The married folks are gone, but there are other sons of bitches.

I left because they're napping.

~ Drop it. ~ What is it?

He's coming here.

Who is this guy?

Aurelio, Tedy's masseur.

Well, then, what will we do on Sunday?

Well, hop into bed, right?

That's all you care about, damn it!

Hey, I want to go to the pool on Sunday. OK?

Hello, beautiful lady of the house, good afternoon.

Hello, Aurelio.

~ Is Mr. Tedy in? ~ On the porch, napping.

Thank you, summer flower.

Hey, that Chinese guy, what shit is he feeding you?

The Chinese are like that --- anyway, he's Japanese.

Well, let's see if I've got this straight.

If the Japanese guy is Chinese, why the hell is he named Aurelio?

How should I know? He's been baptized. That's what missionaries are for, right?

Look, maybe you and the Chinese guy are...

You're crazy! All right?

Well, the truth is that I want to learn to swim and get a nice tan.

Look, look, a tan is what you'll get from the slaps I'll give you if you cheat on me!

Up, up, Aurelio has come! How about it, Tedy?

A healthy mind in healthy body.

Don Tedy...are you all right?

Don Tedy, I'm Aurelio.

Don Tedy!

Four o'clock.

The hour for your massage.

No man, no, since my sister's out!

Exactly, orders are orders.

Your sister called me yesterday, "maximum discipline," she said.

By the mother that bore me!

Not now, Cosme.

Hey, we'll do something, we'll do something. I'll call you at seven.

Hey, and if they go to Madrid, we can be more relaxed.

No, no, wait, wait a bit.

No, Aurelio'll wake up fat dude, and he's a snitch.

Show me, now, let's see how my goldfinch reacts.

Let's not play with your goldfinch, I get so hot.

Show me, now, how my goldfinch reacts.

Come, please, show me!

Come on, please!

Show me how the goldfinch reacts, please show me!

If only my father could see what they're doing to me!

Your father was a big shot from the north?

No, no, my father was fat. Fat like me, but my mother let him eat.

And how he ate, big guy!

I remember when we went to see the Athletic Bilbao.

Childhood, the garden of life.

Oh, and say it!

The first thing we did after getting off the train was going to a restaurant.

To eat.

No, no, the train arrived in the morning. We were going to order food.

Always seven dishes. My father said that seven brought him good luck.

Appetizers, seafood, fish, chicken, lamb, red meat...

and then desserts.

Cheese, cakes, pies...

Your father drank sake.

People came to watch him eat, and everything!

And then they gave him applause!

And no uric acid?

Oh, by the quart!

Moving on...when he got sick and they did some tests...

the test tubes broke in the laboratory.

You, in Japan, would be a sumo wrestler.

Sumo wrestlers are men, big men, strong and fat.

Yeah, OK, OK...but no.

He loves her, right? He loves her.

And what do you say about my poor child?

So much pitying of the other girl!

Why not have a little compassion for my poor Joly?

Can I come in?

What are looking for, Jos�?

Leave me alone, I'm watching my soap opera.

Where's Pauli? Is she in the bedroom?

No, not at the moment. She's at the house next door.

Very good, very good, because I want to talk to you alone.

Oh! What's busting your gut?

I'm very worried, Marusa.

But what's all this? Ah, ah!

Easy, Marusa, I'm too old to be naughty!

No, not I!

Well, you see, you have to help me with my grandson.

I can trust you?

What we need to know is if I can trust you with me!

What's the matter with Master Chechu?

Nothing, that that boy is...we...I mean, that he's in love with Pauli.

Already, then? That's old news!

What, you knew already?

But how could I not know, since we caught him here one night jerking off...

under my bed while Pauli undressed?

What an outrage! What...! Well, of course!

This is the result of so much sex education and pornography.

Oh, don't give me that shit, Don Jos�! The boy's the right age, isn't he?

I already know that nature has its demands, but chastity...

You're talking about chastity, to me of all people?

Wait, Marusa! I, along with you...like a father.

Yeah, and that purple bruise on my backside was just like a pinch my father gave me?

Well...women...! That's just an affectionate pinch.

Besides, I'm a widower.

And your grandson is single. So what!

Yes, but my grandson wants to teach Pauli how to swim in the pool.

You don't say!

Imagine the fuss my daughter-in-law would wreak if I allowed such a thing to happen.

A curse upon Master Chechu!

But Pauli never mentioned this to me.

Oh, she'll tell you about it, all right!

But isn't Master Chechu afraid that his mother'll find out?

No! He caught his uncle eating the dogs' food.

No!

Man, I've seen the video!

Because he shot a video, damn him, and the video slams Tedy's mouth shut.

Ha! The boy is fucked up, huh?

He's to be afraid of, yes.

Hey, by the way, did you tell him about that button?

What button?

The fly button, when...

Ah! Are you crazy? How can I tell him his grandfather is a dirty old man?

Well, he knows about it.

Oh, oh, my God, what a shame!

Certainly, if he spends his life spying!

Such a sneak he's become!

Well, my point is, I'm asking you to advise her to ignore him.

And why don't you tell her?

Because...it had better be you to tell her.

She trusts you. Make her see that it's not good for her.

What's not good for her?

To get into the pool, you cunt! Where are you going?

The bathroom. Wait a minute.

She goes into the pool, and then...like seeing it.

My daughter'll fling her into the street when she comes back. And rightly so!

Now, you already complain a lot that the lady won't let you enter her bathroom,...

but instead you go along with her ban on us getting in the odd swim.

I'm family.

Sorry, I didn't mean that.

Well, they're two different things.

But don't you get it?

Once she dismisses Pauli, she'll immediately afterwards send me to the asylum,...

she's just waiting for an excuse like that to do it.

Marusa, do you hear me?

Oh yeah, yeah, I hear you!

~ So are we agreed? ~ No.

Why not? Open up!

Oh! It doesn't fit me anymore, right?

But, you've gone crazy!

Ah...I, if you let Pauli swim...

Oh, let me see, let me see!

Don't look, damn it!

What a beauty!

~ Come on, hands off, hands off! ~ Let me see a bit.

Let me see a bit. Just the nipple, I say.

How indecent! Now wants to see my nipple, already?

~ The nipple, yes! The nipple, yes! ~ No, you pig, no!

Do you know what I like? Italian pasta.

I remember when my sister took me to see the Pope, I turned purple.

Over eating spaghetti?

Man, also over spaghetti!

But what I like best are the tortelines.

Stuffed with ricotta,...

with that creamy froth of butter...!

~ Pauli? ~ What?

~ Today it's hot, huh? ~ A little bit.

A little bit, right?

~ Do you want me to teach you? ~ What?

~ To swim. ~ What?

Didn't you told me just this morning that you're going to Benidorm?

Yes.

It's no biggie --- if you want, I'll teach you. In the pool, I mean.

The pool?

Since my mother's away...

~ Me? That's fine, but what about your uncle? ~ I have permission.

Really?

Of course, I told you!

Didn't they care?

Didn't I say no?

Then I'll go put on my bathing suit.

No, wait, it'll be better done after Jacinto heads off.

Yes, let him go off. What about the Chinese dude?

Aurelio? No problem, he'll be gone by then.

Thank you.

Now! Go for it!

Hello, Jacinto.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Transplanting.

Is it difficult?

So so.

Today you could leave early.

Why?

Since my mother's away...

So what?

You could go visit friends...

I don't have any.

Well, go with your wife.

To do what?

Don't...don't you like the movies?

Nah!

Hell, Jacinto, what a corpse you are!

Now, Mr. Tedy, perfect.

A very invigorating massage.

Now, I'm not saying that the massage was bad,...

what I'm saying is that I don't lose weight.

Burning fat and building muscle does.

If you say so...OK, sayonara!

Sayonara!

Tedy...listen a moment.

Uh...I forgot the note pad.

Ah, let the pad go for now!

I have something that will interest you.

Me?

Yes, you. Here. Come on, come along. Let's go.

Close it, close it, so he doesn't find out.

~ Who? ~ Chechu.

Look, I asked Marusa make me a good sandwich for lunch.

What a whopper, Tedy!

But sit down, man, sit down.

Here.

~ For me? ~ Yes.

But...

Never mind, you just eat while I explain.

Why do you think you and I are always like cats and dogs?

You eat, I smoke, and no snitching.

Friends? Good.

Well, it turns out that Chechu has...I mean...if you like...well...he has a crush on Pauli.

Puppy love, you understand,...

childish but it could be very expensive to you and me.

Because that little boy, eager to get his...hands on the girl, wants to let her swim in the pool.

~ In my sister's pool? ~ Don't start, Tedy!

In the pool belonging to your sister and my son.

A note pad!

Oh, but what a donkey you are!

Do you know what Chechu thinks of your note pad?

He wipes his ass with it.

Because what you note on your pad is simple testimony,...

but that'll have no value against documentary evidence, such as a video.

Suppose your sister sees you stealing the dogs' food...

and sends you to the clinic where they amputate your stomach?

Think about what I said.

Well, let's not tell my sister that Pauli swam in the pool, and that's that.

Yeah, right! Such things always get known sooner or later.

He's already waiting for her.

There is only one solution here.

What?

Listen:...

Well, well, don't study, waste time, play the lazybones.

Very nice, and very comfortable, but what about tomorrow?

Huh? What will happen tomorrow?

Nothing.

What do you mean, "nothing"? Well, how are you going to live without a career, you bastard?

On the money to left to me by Dad. Right?

But that's unworthy!

And earn money like my father, is that all right?

Your father has earned the money honestly.

My father's a crook, Grandpa.

~ Business is business. ~ Precisely.

But...well, let's see, I don't understand you. You explain.

What are you, an anarchist?

Politics means nothing to me, OK?

I'm having to hear this! And from my own grandson!

But the fault lies with your father. I would have sent you straight to the Jesuits.

But didn't say you're an atheist?

They have nothing to do with one another.

I'm speaking of discipline.

What?

Already.

Come on, come along, come, I'll weigh you.

Ah, yes, yes!

You haven't had a light snack, right?

Me? I swear, no!

~ Here it is. ~ How great!

And now, how do we open?

~ I brought a hammer, pliers, and gasoline. ~ Great, great.

Very good, hold it, hold it with pliers.

Thus, lay it.

I don't see.

Would I were you watching?

Here's your tape.

~ With my appearance. ~ And mine.

So you stole it from me?

~ It was more ours than yours. ~ That there you have it.

And here, outside of family members, nobody swims. Understand?

So there.

Look, Pauli, either all of us enjoy the fire, or we kick the grill away.

You tell Chechu I want to swim, too.

Sure, I'll tell him. Jacinto's gone?

He hasn't left, no. He's doing it on purpose.

Now, to top it off, he began to water.

That should be Cosme. You answer it.

~ And what do I tell him? ~ Not to come.

Aren't you better off telling him yourself?

Like hell! He could tell something was up.

Hello.

Hello, is that Pauli? It's Cosme.

No, I'm Marusa. Hey, Pauli said not to come.

Again that shit! Go on, cunt, tell her to take the phone, damn it!

Well...She's...she's...she's in the garden.

In the garden? Well, go get her, I'm waiting, I'm waiting. Go tell her.

He says he's waiting.

Wait, wait, here she is. Yes.

Hello.

~ Hey, well, do you, why the hell can't you come out? ~ Because I can't leave.

Hey, honey, look, I...

Don't be a drag, Cosme. If I tell you I can't, that settles it.

Look, I'll bet you're there with that Chinese dude, right?

The Chinese dude? You're crazy!

What, crazy? I'm crazy, my balls get me crazy! You know?

Wait a minute, wait a moment.

My balls, they're getting me crazy!

Look, if you get like that, I'll hang up on you.

If you hang up, look, I'm the one who'll be hanging you, man, but by the neck!

Well, if you insist, I'll tell you.

You can't come because I've got my period.

I've got my period.

I have a headache and I'm going to bed.

Look, sweetheart, even if you've got your period, I've still got a boner, clear?

Go on, tell the Chinese guy to take the phone.

Go and be damned!

Pauli, Pauli!

I don't understand...the bitch hung up on me! Pauli!

All right, all right, all right!

What, what, what?

Hey, look at the time, man. What the fuck?

So? It's ten o'clock!

~ So why so long? ~ It's just ten o'clock, mustache!

~ What an idiot! ~ But, what happened?

Nothing, it's just that he's made up his mind that I have something to do with Aurelio. Imagine!

Bah!

Mate.

How is it "mate"?

In nineteen moves.

But how do you know that it's mate in nineteen moves?

Well, because I've studied the game scientifically.

Nothing, nothing, nothing scientifically.

Ah, yes, yes, very good, very good. See you tomorrow.

How sorry I feel for Jacinto.

Every day he's more bitter.

What a dreadful life he must be leading!

Well, first let's play the nineteen movements scientifically...

and then we'll see who mates.

I wanted to go watch TV.

No, no TV nor anything else! Sit down.

Check.

See? That's one of your biggest flaws, inconsistency.

Listen, why haven't you assumed a career?

What?

How many have you started?

Five.

Mathematics, biology, chemistry,...

I'm here.

~ Hello. ~ Hello.

Hey, there's one thing --- Marusa's asked if she can swim, too.

What are you staring at?

Damn, how good you look!

Well, stop talking nonsense. Do I let Marusa come?

Sure.

Fortunately, although you should have warned her before.

About what?

That there shouldn't be any swimming, hell!

What about Pauli?

Chechu sent her to get dressed.

But, then, shouldn't I take notes anymore?

Nothing, there's nothing to take note of!

Come on, let's finish the game.

We're here.

My, my, my doll!

Kiss, kiss, Cutey!

And now let me give you kisses, you make me hornier than thunder of horses.

What a life!

Pauli, hop on in?

Come on, don't be a wet blanket!

Go, throw yourself over here!

This guy has played them over us!

~ Chechu! ~ What is it?

The video tape...we burned...it wasn't of the bathroom?

What do you think?

~ Nine-thirty-five. ~ Let me, let me, I'm drowning!

Marusa and Pauli get into the pool.

Don't you understand, you fool!?

I decline all responsibility.

I'm going to a hotel. To a hotel!

I don't buy that.

~ Little Sir Tedy, what's the matter? ~ I can't swim!

What's up?

What do you want?

~ Is Pauli in? ~ Yes, what do you want?

Well, I want talk to her, I'm her boyfriend.

Aha, you're her boyfriend.

Handsome, indeed!

Leave me alone, Heck!

Sorry, but Pauli can't leave.

Well, why not?

Because it's not her day off.

But I have to give her a message from her mother.

A moment...Florito, tell Pauli he's wait for her here. She's in the pool.

~ Okay, go. You want me to close the door? ~ Of course!

Now he'll regret it, this asshole!

No way, man, no!

And even though I won't tell, your grandfather will.

Come on, damn it! Can't you see I have my grandfather on another video?

Knock it off! Besides, I don't want to swim with the help. Do you understand?

But what's this revolution? Servants in the pool?

Come on, let's jump out, he hasn't asked permission from his grandfather nor from the Christ who saved us.

When you lie down with vultures, you get up covered in shit.

No, Pauli! Haven't you heard my grandfather, who's going to a hotel?

Oh, I forgot, Pauli, your boyfriend's waiting out front.

My God, my boyfriend! What do I do now?

~ Tell him to go, right? ~ I'll take care of it.

Better wear a robe, if he sees you like that, you'll regret it.

Fucking snitch!

So you, as soon as your mother turns her back, wham...

you get after the busty material.

Don't call her busty.

Ay, ay, ay, ay! That's not sex, that's love.

Look, Florito, leave me alone. Clear?

~ Wake up! When your mother's back again, then what? ~ Nothing.

~ What about your grandfather and your uncle? ~ If they speak, I speak.

Sure, that's why Don Jos� has made his ostrich imitation.

Hey, is it true that he's gone to a hotel?

No way! He'll be hanging out there at the kiosk in the square.

Like a boy prostitute, Blackmailer. And I, just like a mother, bring you toys.

The video I promised: Wimbledon. Here.

Ah, thank you!

Oh, look, look, look! There goes your Dulcinea.

What the hell do you want?

Don't push me too far!

So, what's up? What's up?

It just so happens that I have to go fuck!

Jealous, you're just jealous!

Jealous, me? What's happening is that you admit that you're having your period, and of course...

Sure, so what?

Shit, that's the same thing you told me last week, you cow!

It's dripping again, and my ovaries hurt a lot.

And if I can't have the thing twice a month, let's break off, period.

Come, come, fuck, don't get pissed off, shit!

Come on, it's just that every time you spend ten minutes without seeing me, I get blue balls, my dear.

~ Then just cool it down. ~ Hey, babe...!

~ Let me go. ~ Hey, you're wet, babe!

Let me! I was in the shower.

In the shower? And what's this?

Two boobs. Are you blind or what?

What's this, now you shower in a bikini?

I shower as I please!

Come on, come on, man, the old man just told me you were in the pool!

Well, yes, but I wasn't taking a bath. The young master Chechu was teaching me how to swim.

And you're having an affair with him!

But he's just fourteen!

Look, sweetheart, when I was fourteen --- you know? ---

I was fourteen when I left the cook pregnant at the reformatory. You hear me, bitch?

Get a boner for your mother, you bastard!

Come here, man, come here, and hop on the bike.

~ No, Cosme, let me go! ~ Come here and let's ride!

~ Let her go! ~ Get on here!

~ Don't! ~ Mount up, I say!

And now you're leaving, or I call security.

So you're the Master of shit, eh?

~ Yes, and so what? ~ Let him, Chechu!

I'll knock that shit-eating grin off your face!

He's been killed!

What happened, what happened?

Talk to me, Cosme, say something!

Oh!

What a horror, he broke his head!

Let's lift him up.

Damn bikes!

God, no, not like that!

Let me, I understand this.

Forgive me, Cosme!

I just love you!

Only you!

There's no other man for me!

Hurry, hurry!

Onto the deck chair.

No, not in the chair, the table's better, he'll be higher.

Carefully, carefully, he may have something broken.

He doesn't pay attention to me!

Help me take his jacket off.

The horse, I wanted to climb up the horse!

What do I keep telling you, Cosmo? Don't do wheelies! You'll break your neck!

Alcohol, iodine, mercurochrome, something!

I have some here in the locker room.

Oh, my leg, my leg!

Get him out of his pants.

Come on, help me a little up, that is. Up, up.

What an outrage!

Is there a fracture?

God forbid.

~ Make them pick up the bike. ~ Forget about the bike.

And here...and here...no, this looks good.

But do you really know about this?

~ I was a Boy Scout, OK? ~ So what?

I got a lifesaving merit badge.

Hey, hey, it's the knee that hurts.

Sure, sure, bend it. That's it. Does it hurt?

Alcohol, alcohol.

He's complaining about that knee.

He gave it a good whack, but it's not broken.

Oh, my God!

Oh, I took the handlebar in my ribs!

Let me see, let me. Where does it hurt?

There, there.

Let's see, what do you say?

Sit up, sit up.

Take a deep breath.

Like that, slowly, slowly.

How are you, does it hurt?

Better, I'm better.

There seems to be nothing serious wrong.

Come, keep disinfecting the wounds.

And celebrate that he's been reborn!

Why not celebrate with a good meal?

That's an idea.

I'll start to make some damn macaroni!

Great, Marusa, great!

What about Chechu? Where's Chechu?

What could you teach me, if I lived in the desert!

With the Tuareg, don't say any more!

Hey, with respect for the vastness of the desert, it just scares you. Especially your being Asturian...

~ What's up, grandfather? ~ Well, nothing, nothing.

But you called me on the phone.

I went out without any money.

Always the same, eh?

Two at three hundred cognac, that's six hundred. That's four hundred change from a thousand.

OK, so you owe me a thousand.

And what I'm going to pay with, if your mother doesn't give me a handout?

Just steal some, shit, man, steal it! Come on, let's go.

~ Hey, you're leaving without hearing the story about the camel. ~ Well now.

You are a good grandson, and I love you, but sometimes...

Don't start.

It hurts me to see you so irresponsible.

Give it a rest!

At your age, your father thought only about his studies.

Outstanding honors.

Nowadays my father just thinks about fucking.

Chechu, please!

He has a girlfriend, damn it!

No, it can be!

I've seen her myself, grandfather.

Where?

Where I followed them.

Every afternoon they go to a house in the resort.

And does your mother know?

Man, of course! But she's also got her own mess...

No!

Hell yes, dammit!

No, it's not possible, it's not possible, no!

Your mother will be what she is, a harpy, we agree, but she's a...

The guy has an art gallery. Want more details?

And who's your father's squeeze?

A society girl!

You mean she's young?

Man, of course! But he wants to marry her.

Holy God! And you, how did you find this out?

He was talking with his lawyer on the telephone, of course, because first you have to get divorced.

And your mother, does she know that, too?

No, he hasn't told her yet.

Fuck...!

What's the matter?

I think we ran over something. A puncture.

There's no decency anymore! It's creepy, living in this world! Creepy!

But what times are these, where they no longer respect the family?

OK. You, you're against divorce, and then you say you're not an ultra.

No! Me, I have nothing against divorce. No, quite the contrary.

But nowadays people, provided they have a bit of money,...

like in the case of your father, without making a big deal of it,...

trades in his woman as naturally as you change house, or a car, or your shirt.

And that goes against nature. It is a scandal.

And that didn't happen under Franco?

No, not under Franco, nor with the Republic or even the dictatorship of Primo de Rivera.

That's how things are now, but then, as it's likely to happen, if the husband got bored of family stuff,...

he just got himself a lover, fix her up in an apartment, so he had peace at home, and there, Heaven.

And that was better?

Man! At least it wouldn't destroy a marriage or make the children suffer.

And who suffers?

Do you mean you won't care if your parents divorce?

Man, not that either, because if Dad has more children with the other one,...

I'll inherit less when he dies.

But, hey! You...you...where do you get these ideas?

Well...fuck! Journal, the "Iberian", "Lola"...

No, Yes, Yes, if I, knew it already!

You'll see the end how I'll be left without any macaroni.

Come, don't get boring, Marusa has four half-kilo bags on.

Yeah, but if Chechu and Jos� come back for dinner, there'll be seven of us,...

and four packets are just two kilos.

So two thousand grams, divided by seven...

That's less than three hundred grams per person!

And what about the sauce, hmm?

~ That doesn't count, like bread. ~ Leave the bread alone.

Go, and tell Don Cosme and Florito to come on, we eat in five minutes.

~ They're in the pool, right? ~ We left then there.

� Kiss me, as the waves kiss...

� Kiss me, love, love love me like a volcano, the volcano...

� Love me...�

Damn, how the rich live!

Fucking great, yes.

Hell, I already had mine, man!

It's a special day.

Yeah, but then it's me who crashed with the bike.

I am a good doctor, if you happened to crash.

Yeah, but then Pauli gets bike-angry.

Then come to my home, and there you are.

Hey, pigeon?

~ I'm not into that, man. ~ What?

Presenting my ass up. Damn!

In any case, it would be the other way around, but that doesn't matter.

So what the hell are you on about?

Well...a good friendship.

How much would you say the cost of a competition racing motorcycle is?

A grand stack of pesetas!

And if you want to compete, you'll need a sponsor.

Hell, I already told you I don't want a spouse, you cunt, I don't like my ass to be fucked, it's not my style!

Nobody mentioned a spouse, a sponsor, idiot! The guy who provides the dough.

Come on, damn it! Even a single tire costs lots of dough.

And why am I here, pigeon?

Hell, don't call me pigeon, you cow!

Besides, do you have so much money?

Not me, no, but my mom does. She fulfills my every whim.

Fuck me, man!

Hey, I promise. Look, the last friend I had, he was a paratrooper,...

Mom bought him a plane so he could have private lessons.

You don't say!?

You heard it from me. Within three months, he was promoted to Corporal.

Damn! Fuck me!

But let's not talk about sad things. Into water, dunk!

Well, and where the hell is that paratrooper now?

I quarreled with him. He was only interested in the physical thing.

And you're not?

Oh, yuck! I'm very spiritual.

You mean that you're into the passing glances, the romantic things...?

Man, we mustn't exaggerate!

A caress, a kiss...a hug between friends...

Hey, Shorty, that's my cock!

Oh, what things you have!

It's already past ten-thirty, I'll release the dogs.

Come on, Ping. Outside, Pong, go on.

I swear, I saw them with my own eyes!

But if that's true...I'll kill him!

Girl, stop that! Pauli, you'll lose your self-control!

Pauli!

She had a knife. But what was going on?

I just saw Florito and Pauli's boyfriend in the pool, doing dirty things.

Sodom and Gomorrah, in this house!

But the bathing suit is simply obsolete. Don't be old fashioned, man!

Well, I'll take it off, but you don't touch. Right?

I look, I promise. Look.

Look, I swear...

Hey, buddy, float flattened out, at least, this way I don't see anything.

OK, OK, but you don't come. All right?

I'll kill you, I'll kill you!

No, Pauli, wait!

Watch out, Chechu, she's armed!

It's just that I have to explain...!

Don't explain anything now.

~ Out of this house! ~ I hate him!

Queers!

We must help Chechu.

~ Help, here. ~ Hold on to the broom.

Don't explain anything now, and then deny everything. It's much better.

Police!

But what happened, has she collapsed?

No, it just overcame her suddenly, she wasn't hit with anything.

If they don't notice that we're afraid, they won't attack.

Yeah, who's scared, anyway?

We girls are!

How awful, how awful!

Where's this damn world going to lead us?

To the kitchen!

Say something.

Yes...Doggie!

Oh, how horrible!

The hell with them, go on, Ping, go on, Pong, pull them apart.

Chechu, dearest, for heaven's sake, tie up these beasts!

No way! Spend the night there so that degenerate learns to respect decent homes.

But Chechu, are you just leaving us here? Chechu!

Fetch!

The cunt isn't tying them up!

~ What a strange thing! ~ What?

Haven't you heard that dogs won't attack if you're naked?

Quit messing! Look, man, I'll climb down and test it.

Crap, I shit in ten thousand whores!

Dude, what do we do now?

Have you seen "Tarzan and His Mate"?

Yes, so what?

That's it. Come on, give me the banana.

Go and take it up your ass!

Get her nice and dry, so she won't take cold.

And give that fucking fairy the satisfaction?

Go on, let him be fucked in the ass, and you relax!

To think I loved him!

Master Chechu, what a huge disappointment!

Don't worry, come on, you'll be fine.

Come, you sleep quietly.

Don't you realize that we live in a world of total ignominy?

Go on, go on, forget your stories, and you go to your own bed, go to bed.

Yes, it will be better because I'm dead tired.

On the other hand, this guy got two kilos of macaroni!

Don't you fancy an omelet, Jos�?

No, no, I'd prefer a chamomile, because on account of everything I've gotten a bit dizzy.

Hey, do you think it's wise to leave those two alone there?

And what do you think they'll do?

Women, who prevents the chance, avoids the sin.

Oh, what sins or what clubs, they're the only standard of this house!

Go on, go to your room, I'm going to go change.

You're going to get indigestion!

I'll take this to Don Jos�.

Hey, wouldn't it make you ill?

No, no, I'm just thirsty!

Well, you know better.

Oh, how wonderful, oh, really!

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!

Don Jos�, I'm here.

Yeah, sure. Come in, Marusa.

Chamomile, hot, hot, which will suit you very well.

Thank you very much, Marusa.

Did it burn you?

No, no, it's fine, it's fine.

With such a busy day, you must be tired.

Do you know? I was thinking...

About what?

Chechu. Well...and Pauli.

Look what a pain in the ass you are!

No, on the contrary!

All things considered, it's better they enjoy themselves now while they're young. Damn it!

That's true.

Because later on...you become a dirty old man.

Look at me here, waiting to die!

But surely you're still up for it!

No, Marusa, no.

Although you won't believe me, since the death of my poor wife, I've had no desire to live.

Better I should have died with her.

Will you start to mourn right now?

No, no, don't go, Marusa, I'm very lonely. Let's talk.

Don Jos�, I'm exhausted, I have to sleep.

Then lie down here beside me. Only for a little while.

Mind your whims!

Or...better under the covers. I'm chilled.

Oh, don't play with the bagpipes, Don Jos�, you're no longer fit for a workout!

No, but if not that, woman!

No...not that.

But...the warmth...

Marusa...

Where's Marusa?

She took chamomile to my grandfather. You go back to sleep.

What are you doing here?

I was just leaving.

Wait.

If not for you, I'd have drowned.

Hey, but water was shallow there!

So? I'd drown anyway.

You've comported yourself like a gentleman, not like that...that!

Forget him. The dogs chased them and made them climb a tree.

Butt naked?

I'll bring them down, so they won't catch a runny nose.

What are you looking at?

Well...I like you better with your hair like that.

Chechu.

I'll bring them down, so they won't catch a runny nose, really.

Come here, you hot guy.

Now you're afraid?

My God, wake everybody up!

It hurts all over.

You could have killed us!

I told you, I handle the Porsche better.

And once I saw that truck, I could have outmaneuvered him!

So now it's all my fault!

Don't, woman! But once I saw the truck, I'd...

Forget the damned truck. All this means that we should never have left home in the first place!

~ Of course, at home... ~ At home, nowhere else!

You bet!

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