Original subtitles

(soft old-timey music)

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(balloon pops) (child cries)

Remember all your lines, honey?

There's nothing to be worried about.

You're gonna be great.

Remember something, Debbie, you've got something

these other kids don't have: Star quality.

(laughs)

(door opens)

- Well, I'm outta here. - (lighter clicks)

Where are you going?

I'm going shopping.

You're not going to stay and see Debbie's performance?

Right.

This I gotta see.

Thank you.

(applause) (cheering)

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Victoria Theatre's series of kiddie matinees.

(applause) (cheering)

Now let's welcome our own little Dorothy, Debbie Tennis.

You'd better be good.

Your father's counting on you.

(clapping)

Look it's Debbie Penis.

(children laughing)

(soft piano music)

♪ What makes a theater besides a bunch of seats ♪

♪ Long velvet curtains ♪

♪ And tasty snacks and treats ♪

♪ Sticky floors and exit signs ♪

♪ An office box with movie times ♪

♪ Spotlights beam across the sky ♪

♪ They show the way for you and I ♪

(urinating)

(laughing)

(audience exclaims) (indistinct chattering)

♪ Nightmares watched with Lemonheads ♪

♪ Hot dogs, candy, and punch that's red ♪

♪ When the lights go down the children play ♪

♪ Welcome to our ♪

♪ Mati- ♪

(electric buzzing) (screaming)

Debbie?

Debbie?

(laughing)

Deborah?

Oh my goodness.

Aww.

(Tammy laughing)

(tense music)

(tense rock music)

(tense rock music)

(soft eerie music)

(door opens) (door closes)

[Evelyn] So how are you really, dear?

[Deborah] I'm fine.

You know, I'm concerned, Deb.

Ever since your father passed...

Well, you need to talk about it.

It just kills me to think of you sitting over there,

running all that horror nonsense.

Those are not real movies.

The plan...

It's business as usual.

Honey, I know what it's like to feel alone.

No husband, no children.

- Just me and the cats. - I'm sorry, Evelyn.

I need to get to the theater before the-

- Deb, I'm serious.

Don't take on your father's showbiz debts and burdens.

Honey, I know you were close,

but, well, there's no future there.

My father invested everything he had

into the Victoria Theatre.

He truly loved the movie experience

and above all else, well, Daddy was a showman.

Years of blood, sweat and tears went into the business

he loved so much, the business of show.

He never wanted me to be a librarian.

I was to be a great Hollywood actress.

(sniffles)

Well, I may have disappointed my father in life,

but I'm gonna do my absolute best

to make him proud, even in death.

It's like Daddy always said,

the show must go on.

(eerie music) (Deborah sobbing)

(eerie music)

Oh geez!

Mr. Twigs, you scared me half to death.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Your father was prompt. He expected me to be, too.

Mr. Twigs, I'm really gonna need your help

now that Daddy...

Look, I know you're paid to be the projectionist,

but I'm just finding it difficult.

Ma'am, I'm here to help with anything you need.

I'm at your service. (Chuckles)

Thank you.

Mr. Twigs.

(soft old-timey music)

(lights buzzing)

(popcorn popping)

- Hello, Steven. - Hey, Deb.

How are you?

New shoes?

Yeah, I just got 'em.

They're a little too white.

I gotta dirty 'em up. I hate that.

(chuckles)

- The usual? - Yeah.

I never really got the chance to, uh,

say how sorry I am about your father's passing.

He was really awesome and without him

I wouldn't know half of my favorite horror movies

that I know today.

Okay.

(soft old-timey music) (popcorn popping)

Ma'am I, I need some mouthwash.

Mind if I run out- Sure.

Just be back in time to start the movie, okay?

Of course.

(eerie music)

Good evening, Mrs. Tennis. (Chuckles)

Mr. Twigs.

I'm so glad I ran into you.

Oh, for God's sake old man.

I'm on my way to the theater to see Deb.

We're selling it.

- No. - Yes we are.

The land is worth a small fortune.

But you can't. Please, Mrs. Tennis.

Surely you can't just- Stop embarrassing yourself.

You're a grown man.

I put nearly 40 years in that projection booth.

It's all I know. I...

Ma'am, your husband would be ashamed.

(Mrs. Tennis sighs)

Now pull yourself together.

I mean it's about time you retired anyway.

I mean, look at you.

You're old.

It's for the best.

Really.

Please. Mrs. Tennis...

$20?

Bitch.

Bitch.

(soft old-timey music)

Hello, mother.

Really?

You don't need to call me that anymore.

Now, Deb, I want you to sign these papers

and we'll both be rich.

Your father wanted it this way.

(Deborah scoffs)

No.

Uh-uh, I'm not signing it.

No, Daddy loved this movie theater.

He believed in this place and in me.

Your father wanted you to be an actress.

We both know he was demented.

This theater can work.

I'll see to it personally.

Yeah, it's like Daddy always said,

"The show must go on."

You are ridiculous.

This theater belongs to the both of us.

Now you listen to me, you are nothing but a boring,

little librarian with big, big dreams

and hideous little looks.

Besides, you read too much.

You're a loser, just like your fat ass father was.

Bed, Bath and Beyond is gonna pay big bucks

to tear this dump down.

I'm talking BB and Beyond, honey,

and you ain't leaving here until you sign it.

Are you gonna sign it?

No.

Are you gonna sign it now?

(flesh sizzling) (Deborah yells)

Yeah.

Okay.

Ow.

- Sign it. - Okay.

Okay.

(Deborah sobbing)

You go get the government check for retardation.

On!

Please, what are you gonna do with that?

Have you lost your mind?

Face it.

Your father knew deep down inside that you were useless.

You're one of those plain girls

living in the world of the bland.

You lack any sort of star quality.

Fuck you, mother!

(squelching)

(blood spurts) (dramatic music)

(Deborah yells)

Kill her, Mommy! Kill her!

I won't take it!

No!

I won't!

(grunting) (dramatic music)

Blood!

Oh god, mother.

Blood.

Blood.

Oh. (blood spurting)

The wicked bitch is dead! (Laughs)

(eerie music)

Star quality.

(soft old-timey music)

Start the movie!

Start the movie already.

Star quality.

(laughs)

[Man 1] Start the movie!

- The movie. - Somebody needs to start it.

[Man 2] Is anybody back there?

- Come on. - Roll it.

- Start. - Come on already.

- Start the movie. - Start the movie.

- Start the movie. - Start the movie.

♪ The Caroline I left behind ♪

[Audience] Start the movie, start the movie,

start the movie...

(Deborah whimpers)

(panting)

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

[Audience] Start the movie,

start the movie.

Deb?

Deb?

Deb? (eerie music)

[Deborah] Oh.

(clapping) (cheering)

(breathing heavily)

(eerie music)

Oh.

(Deborah panting)

[Tammy] I want you to sign these papers.

Oh my god! Oh!

Daddy loved this movie theater.

He believed in this place.

Him and me.

This theater can work.

I'll see to it personally.

[Tammy] You? How ridiculous.

This theater belongs to the both of us.

Now you listen to me.

You are nothing but a boring, little librarian,

with big, big dreams and hideous looks.

(Mr. Twigs gasps)

Are you gonna sign now? (Deborah screams)

Face it, your father knew deep down inside

that you were useless.

You're one of those plain girls

living in the world of the bland.

You lack any sort of style.

[Deborah] Fuck you, mother!

(Deborah yells)

Kill her, mommy, kill her!

(Deborah yelling) (squelching)

Oh god, mother.

Blood.

The wicked bitch is dead!

Atta girl.

God, mother.

Star quality.

Star quality.

(clapping)

(Mr. Twigs mumbles) (chuckles)

(mechanical whirring)

Just hang in there. (Chuckles)

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the Victoria Theatre.

We hope you enjoyed our brand new original

short film introduction. With the passing of Mr. Tennis,

we wanted to create something honoring

his Victoria spirit of showmanship. (Chuckles)

We are here to say corporate developers,

capitalist mothers, beware.

The Victoria Theatre is here to stay. (Chuckles)

(applause) (cheering)

(eerie music)

(Mr. Twigs grunts)

(panting)

Will someone look for her?

She's one woman nobody will miss.

(Mr. Twigs chuckles)

That's quite excellent.

Won't the theater start to smell?

No.

No, no, this attic and ceiling are so high up,

you won't smell a thing.

And I've tidied up around the concession stand.

You should stop worrying and tidy up a bit.

Your new fans (chuckles) will want to meet you.

Come, come.

Come.

That's it.

Come.

[Boy] Hey, that was so cool. Thank you so much.

[Deborah] Thanks.

- More to come. - That was awesome.

- Excellent job. - More to come, everyone.

Deb, you made a movie.

- Yeah. - I had no idea.

It was, it was awesome.

It was like, it was like you created a whole new genre,

like surveillance slaughter or something.

Thanks, Steven.

I knew you'd like it. (Chuckles)

Totally. Definitely.

Make more, okay?

All right.

Bye.

(tense electronic music)

Jesus Christ, Mom, can you knock please?

Excuse me.

And hey, so why'd you get home so late today?

I went to the movies.

Again?

Steven, what is it with you and that movie theater?

(Steven sighs)

So how's school?

I mean, you hardly ever talk about grades or homework.

All fine, A-okay.

Did you find the college applications I left out for you?

No, I went blind momentarily and missed the giant pile

of crap you left on top of my pillows.

Steven, just calm down, okay?

I mean, I know you're stre- I'm going to art school.

I'm studying animation.

The applications you left on my bed?

Yeah right, right.

You know, Steven, I still haven't seen a Disney movie

with severed heads and rotting corpses.

I mean, what do you plan on doing to make a living?

Oh my god, lady, it's as if you wanna fight.

You, like, enjoy it.

Honestly, Steven, I just don't want you to grow up.

I don't care where you go,

you'll always be my baby. (Kisses)

(tense electronic music)

Thank you.

And do you know where the lady's room is?

Thanks.

Oh my God.

Congratulations.

What? I'm sorry?

Come on, that's Peaches Christ.

She's like the queen of the midnight movie scene

here in San Francisco.

She's probably here to see the short. That's major.

I like her makeup.

It's pretty.

[Woman] Well it's not as bad as last time.

Popcorn?

I'm just gonna go and get a seat.

I'm sure he didn't mean it.

Oh, hold on.

Small diet soda, please.

I really liked your movie.

I'm a regular.

You might recognize me?

I've already seen your short like three times.

It's rad.

(eerie music)

Thanks.

- You're new to town, right? - Yeah.

Still homesick, I guess, but thank God for you all.

I really love the stuff you guys play.

I'm a total gore-gore girl.

We're glad you're here.

Brand new short screens this Friday night, if all goes well.

Right on.

By the way, I'm Deborah.

I'm Veronica.

Nice to meet you, Deborah. (Chuckles)

Sorry, Mama.

You have spaghetti for dinner?

Spaghetti.

[Veronica] Mm, with cheese?

Cheddar or Parmesan?

(gasps) You know that's my favorite.

(eerie music)

Where's my shit?

Hello?

(eerie music)

Hello? Is there anybody here?

(eerie music)

Hey?

(hits) Hey!

I'm still in here.

(hitting)

(clattering in the distance)

Hello?

Is somebody back there?

(door creaks)

Hey!

(door closes)

(mechanical whirring)

Hello?

(eerie music)

Is somebody down there?

(piano keys thud)

(eerie music)

Is anybody there?

(eerie music)

Hello?

(eerie music)

(Veronica gasps)

(screaming)

(ax thuds) (clatters)

(Veronica gasps) (fabric ripping)

(Veronica screaming) (eerie music)

(sobbing)

(screaming)

(door bangs open)

(panting)

Lady, we gotta get outta here.

There's a man out there.

A fucking killer!

What are you wearing?

(door creaks open)

Oh my god!

Action.

(Veronica sobbing)

It was the best of times,

it was the worst of times.

Acid flashback?

Acid flashback?

(squelching) (Veronica screams)

(Veronica sobbing)

Off with her head!

Come take it.

Take it.

(Veronica sobbing)

(thudding) (grunting)

You idiot!

Fool! I said a proper guillotine.

I gave you the book.

At this rate she gets a much needed nose job.

Did you even read the book?

I did.

[Deborah] Well what are we supposed to do?

(thuds) (Veronica grunts)

(eerie music)

(people chattering)

Hey Deborah, I brought some Victoria virgins tonight.

We're all really psyched to see your new movie.

Thanks, Steven.

Hope you like it.

Oh, I'm sure we will. Thanks.

[Lolita] It was nice meeting you.

(eerie music)

(Veronica screams)

(ax thuds) (laughing)

(Veronica whimpering)

Yeah, yeah!

(Veronica screaming)

[Veronica] Oh my god, help!

(laughs)

(Veronica screams)

- Uh uh. - Oh no.

(Veronica whimpering)

- Mm. - Oh shit.

It was the best of times...

(guillotine thuds) (Veronica screams)

(audience exclaims) (laughs)

(Veronica screams)

[Veronica] Oh god, no, please.

God, no.

(Veronica screams)

And because you used your cell phone

during the film, my dear,

it truly was the worst of times.

(guillotine thuds) (Veronica screams)

(flesh thuds) (audience exclaims)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Victoria Theatre,

where we kindly ask you to silence your cell phones

before the picture begins. (blood gushing)

Or else. (body thuds)

(singing in foreign language)

- Shit. - (laughing)

(singing in foreign language)

(applause) (cheers)

Get your phone out.

(applause)

[Woman] Mm-mm-mm.

[Steven] Hey, so did you have fun Friday night?

[Judy] Eh, it was all right.

All right? You're kidding, aren't you?

The short was incredible.

Deb's already like a film hero or something.

Kind of a hot one.

What? Hot film hero?

Oh, yeah. I mean, totally.

Clearly, obviously the next Orson Welles.

I mean her movie, oh, it was just so deep.

Well, it did effectively scare-

- Oh, okay, that cell phone person?

Okay, obviously some kind of, like, suicide girl reject

just so desperate to show off her boob job and tattoos.

I mean, come on. It looked like she was on drugs.

It's pathetic.

Oh, Miss Judgmental.

What the? Okay, that movie sucked.

I mean, she's a woman making this misogynistic crap

for a theater full of, like, Peter Jackson dorks,

who, by the way, have nothing better

- to do on a Friday night. - Right.

So you really didn't like it, I guess?

What? Negative, okay?

It was a turd and it makes me wonder if you hate women

or something because you just love it so much.

Just hold on a second.

Made that of you, for you.

- Whatever. - What?

Aww.

It's lovely. I mean, really.

I don't think I ever looked deader. (Chuckles)

Thanks, Rembrandt.

You think I hate women just because I like her movies?

Well.

Judy, that's really stupid.

It's because I love horror movies.

Did you not see those special effects?

Or her mise-en-scène?

Or that boob shot is already a classic.

All right. I got it, Vincent Price.

Can we just... Let's go eat.

No, please. You're not even listening.

You said it yourself, okay?

She's a woman making these movies.

Well, Miss Feminist, in all of history

and all the annals of horror,

there's never been a great female horror filmmaker.

Don't you see how important that is?

That's happening right here, right now in our own backyard.

It's...

It's inspiring.

Okay.

Come on.

And I like Peter Jackson.

[Boy] Nice.

I just thought it was so fucking cool

how she tied the whole thing to Dickens

and the Tale of Two Cities.

I mean, I bet most people didn't even get that.

- What up, baby? - Did it turn you on, though?

What?

Did it turn you on?

[Steven] What?

Excuse me?

- You said you were bi. - Oh yeah.

Yeah, that girl was hot.

Too bad about her tits.

Have you guys finished "Catcher in the Rye" yet?

Did you notice that nobody's phone

went off though the rest of the night?

- That never happens. - That's true.

I know, 'cause her movies are-

- Hello, Steven.

Oh.

Hi, Claire.

So how's tricks these days?

Tricks are good. Good.

Cool. So what's up with this Friday?

Are you gonna go to the Victoria Theatre?

Yeah. Yeah, I was.

[Claire] Do you wanna go together?

(Lolita laughs)

Step away.

Swim along.

Okay.

Sure, but since when did you want to see a horror-

- I heard you're friends with Deborah Tennis.

We know each other.

Cool. Pick me up at seven.

I'll be ready for you.

Trust.

(Lolita scoffs)

Are you fucking kidding me?

You got a date?

What's the problem?

You're actually going to a movie with Claire Kavanaugh?

Yeah.

Just everybody shut up and eat.

You gonna get some.

(eerie music)

(knocking)

Deb?

(knocking)

Deb?

Deb, it's me.

(eerie music)

There was someone for you at the front.

I know, I heard her.

Everyone heard her.

Eh...

She's old.

It was Evelyn,

the librarian.

- What's it say? - Hold on.

Oh. (Chuckles)

She's worried about me.

I was scheduled to work at the library

and haven't shown up.

I can't go back there.

I'm not a librarian anymore.

You know, Evelyn doesn't know me at all.

(murmurs)

How dare she come here and bang on the door?

I mean, she was banging, right? Not knocking.

She's always so loud.

I have work to do, Mr. Twigs.

I can no longer sell tickets and shovel popcorn.

I am not a concessionaire.

I'm an actress.

I am a filmmaker.

How dare she.

Perhaps we should put a help wanted sign in the window?

Right.

Right.

Oh that's genius, Mr. Twigs. (Laughs)

We're experimental here.

Now the help we're seeking won't walk in off the street.

(eerie music)

You do know even though your nieces

have been through years of therapy,

we can't guarantee they're no longer dangerous.

We understand.

We had heard they were being released today

and just thought we'd be able to help them

readjust to life outside the nuthouse.

I'm sorry.

Insane asylum.

It's a mental health facility,

and it's been home to Veda and Vera for almost 11 years.

You're aware that today is their 18th birthday?

Darling.

[Woman] May God bless you both.

Would anyone care to elaborate

on the difference between being a slacker

in today's high school versus high school

for a Holden Caulfield in 1946?

Steven?

Uh...

I didn't, I didn't really see Holden

as just a normal slacker.

I'm just saying that I think if Holden was like a kid

in today's society, he could have been one

of those high school kids that, like,

went all school violence or whatever.

Like a shooting or something, you know?

I mean, he wouldn't have had access to guns.

He didn't- Thank you, Steven.

That's quite enough.

See me after class.

You got yourself a date again.

Snap.

Gene, Lolita?

Detention.

And on my desk tomorrow morning,

10 pages about the necessity

for good manners in today's society.

♪ I met her in the park ♪

♪ She was paintin' the trees ♪

♪ One look in her eyes ♪

♪ And she was with me ♪

♪ Under lavender skies ♪

(yelling)

♪ And beautiful days ♪

(hitting) (yelling)

♪ These tears in my eyes ♪ ♪ These tears in my eyes ♪

(laughing) (hitting)

♪ We make sweet, sweet love ♪

♪ All afternoon ♪

♪ The sun was going down ♪

You're a smart boy, Steven, and creative, too.

I respect you,

but you've given me cause for concern.

Okay, but I've already told you I'm really fine.

You can say you're fine

until you're blue in the face, mister,

it doesn't mean I buy it.

Mrs. Moorehead, I don't really see how my personality

is any of your business?

The safety of me and my class is entirely my business.

Perhaps if Mary Manson's high school English teacher

had made his cries for help her business,

the whole Columbine tragedy you're so interested in

never would have happened.

Whatever.

She did that girl a favor.

Bitch had sloppy titties, anyways.

So, what is going on?

How do you know this fierce bitch Deborah anyways?

Hello?

Ladies?

(scoffs) Are you mute?

Deaf?

Huh? Do you have your own language?

Are you mentally challenged?

Are you actually blonde? (Laughs)

She's murdering her actors.

She's murdering them for real.

(eerie music) (blood dripping)

What the fuck?

(eerie music)

Hey.

Yeah, I just got out.

[Judy] So did Moorehead give you grief?

Yeah, she thinks I'm gonna

blow up the school or something

'cause I'm a teenage terrorist.

(Steven chuckles)

Steven?

Hello?

Are you there?

Yeah, I'm here, but listen,

I'm standing outside Sam's diner

and you're never gonna believe who's here.

[Judy] The BFF of Osama Bin Laden?

- Deborah Tennis. - And I care why?

[Steven] She's sitting with like this really

weird group of people.

[Judy] Speaking of terrorists.

Maybe that's her film crew.

(licking) (slurping)

Do not ever do that in my presence.

- Do what? - I think you know what.

That finger licking.

Have some manners.

(Adrian laughs)

That's rich.

You're talking about murdering

some innocent, poor old little lady-

- Please, Gaydrian.

That old woman you beat with a cane

is in a coma at SF General.

And it's likely she'll die.

Well, it's in today's Chronicle.

Now I'm sure the police will be very interested

in knowing all sorts of things we may or may not

be talking about at this table.

No.

We need to address something before moving forward.

I'm talking about making movies here.

Nobody shall know our trade secrets.

Remember, there's magic in movies.

I learned that from my father.

You are entering into a code of conduct here,

an artist's secret society, and there are rules.

I am in charge.

You will do as I say, and in return,

I will give you a life most people, they only dream about.

This is the business we call show,

and I'm your manager, your publicist, your agent

and your directress.

Otherwise, you're on your own. (eerie music)

(dramatic eerie music)

(sighs)

Good night, books.

[Deborah] Shh.

Hello?

Hello? Is there anybody there?

(chuckles)

You are really crazy, lady.

Now you're hearing shushes.

[Deborah] Shh.

(eerie music)

Hello? I said the library's closed.

(dramatic music)

I said the library was closed.

And I told you, Madam Evelyn, to shh.

Who are you?

What is this all about?

Perhaps my lady does not understand

ye olde English.

Shh means shut the fuck up, bitch!

(slapping)

(hits)

Help me!

Somebody help me!

[Deborah] Follow her, you fools.

She's getting away. (dramatic music)

Okay.

Oh, good.

Okay.

- Hey, Miss Thing. - (Evelyn screams)

She's over here!

[Deborah] So you can be quiet.

My lady was quiet as a mouse.

(squelching) (Evelyn grunting)

Jesus, fuck!

You crazy old bitch!

(dramatic music)

(Evelyn screams)

Shh.

Shh.

(Evelyn whimpering)

(Evelyn screams)

(eerie, dramatic music)

(lights click)

- Debbie? - (upbeat music)

Janitors.

(woman screaming)

[Woman] No!

Mrs. Fucking Moorehead called my mother

to express her supposed concern,

and now my mom is quote, unquote, worried.

Actually, she's freaking out

and has threatened to ground me

to basically prevent me from going to the movies.

Ugh.

So what do you wanna do this weekend?

(Steven sighs) (knocking)

(eerie dramatic music) (woman whimpering)

- (knocking) - I'm busy.

(eerie dramatic music) (woman screaming)

[Woman] Oh god, no, no.

Judy, I'm gonna have to call you back later.

I just came to say goodnight.

Well, you just said it.

Steven, I'm sorry.

I'm not a bad person, mom.

I know. I overreacted.

I mean, a mom just wants to keep her kids safe and happy.

Look, just because I'm not constantly happy

does not mean I'm dangerous.

(phone ringing)

Judy, I said I'd call you back later.

Oh.

Hi, Claire.

Uh, yeah, no, we are still on for tomorrow night.

Seven? Okay, seven.

Who's Claire?

Is she your girlfriend?

(Steven scoffs)

Claire Kavanaugh?

No.

Oh. Is Judy your girlfriend?

Judy...

Judy, she's a good friend, you know?

You know Steven, you can tell me anything.

I mean, I'll always love you no matter what.

Oh God, mom. I'm not gay, okay?

Well, you know, there's nothing wrong

with being gay, Steven.

I mean plenty of my friends-

- Okay.

What if I told you...

That I think I'm in love with an older woman?

Well, how much older?

I don't know, like...

30, 40?

This old. (eerie music)

Very good.

As victors of my silence cannot boast,

I was not sick of any fear from thence,

for I impair not beauty, being mute,

when others would give life and bring a tomb.

Oh Debbie, please.

You don't have to do this.

Listen to me, whatever this is all about,

we can get you some help.

- All done? - Debbie.

Debbie.

Shh.

(Evelyn whimpering) (eerie music)

You're getting this in close up, right?

[Mr. Twigs] Yes, ma'am.

(Evelyn whimpering) (eerie music)

My movie theater shall be silent as a library,

a managerial promise made to thee.

Silence whilst the movie screens,

for if thou speech is deemed undo,

you too shall star in "The Maiming of the Shrew."

The janitors have been taken care of.

Cut.

All right. That's a wrap.

(eerie music)

Hi. (Chuckles)

That's very nice.

Excuse me. (Chuckles)

Thank you.

(rock music)

♪ Make some plans for the turn that I'm taking ♪

♪ All is well for the movie's waking ♪

♪ Get in line, take your turn ♪

Hey, I'm in line. We're about ready to go in.

Steven got our tickets already.

Totes thoughtful.

Totally nerd-chic.

He totally shops at Goodwill.

So indie.

Hola.

Oh hey.

So, how's it going?

All right, I guess. Right? (Chuckles)

Do you want to jump in line with us.

No, no, it's all right.

It's not really my thing anyway.

I'm psyched.

My parents are gonna leave for Greece for a week

and I have the house all to myself.

Yeah.

So, I gotta go.

Okay, bye.

Hey, cool phone.

Real fancy.

Thanks.

They're real.

I'll call you.

So what do you wanna do after the movie?

(rock music)

(clapping)

Hey.

Peter Gorge, Morning Fog.

Nice to meet you.

(patrons chattering)

Do you think we'll get on TV?

That dress looks expensive.

- (Peter clears throat) - Excuse me.

Peter Gorge, Morning Fog.

So why are you here tonight?

We're on a date.

Well, we're really here to see Deb's new short film.

Deborah.

Oh, right.

We're here to see Deborah's new short film.

She's single handedly saving this theater. It's awesome.

Oh, that's great.

So what is it about her films that makes them so special?

I mean, why are they so popular?

Well, I think they're popular because they're, uh,

they're over top and fun, but they're scary.

They're totally scary.

Big budget horror films nowadays,

they look and feel so fake, you know?

But her films, they're like gritty and dark.

They're almost like, almost like home movies,

and her actors feel real and...

Yeah.

Huh?

Claire Kavanaugh. Pleased to meet you, Miss Tennis.

Enjoy the show, Steven.

- Tickets! - (Peter gasps)

- That's hers, too. - Uh huh.

We can do your interview afterwards.

All right.

Thank you very much for participating.

Thank you.

(old-timey music)

- You want some popcorn? - Yes.

We'll just take a large popcorn and two medium sodas.

No butter.

No butter.

Sorry. Calories. (Chuckles)

Do you think she's pretty?

What?

I said, do you think she's pretty?

Uh...

Yeah.

Ew, she's completely uggs.

(eerie music)

I'm sorry, but she's ugly.

She wouldn't wear all that makeup

if she were naturally pretty.

She looks like a drag queen. (Scoffs)

How dare she?

Well, I never.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Are those seats taken?

(old-timey music)

Great.

(patrons chattering)

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to another fantastically frightening Friday night

at the Victoria Theatre. (Chuckles)

I won't keep you waiting any longer.

Without further ado, Miss Deborah Tennis.

(applause) (cheering)

Thank you.

Thank you.

I am absolutely thrilled to personally introduce

the premiere of the Victoria Theatre's

newest signature short film, directed by yours truly.

(applause) (cheering)

Mm.

I have to pee.

Excuse me.

Oh!

Sorry.

(eerie music)

My father dreamed of one day packing the house

here at the Victoria.

Unfortunately he passed before he could ever see

this wonderful reality.

I know he's looking down on us...

(eerie music)

This dream come true could not have occurred without you,

all of you here.

(kisses) (blows)

Oh.

(applause) (cheering)

(mechanical whirring)

(upbeat flute music)

[Evelyn] Goodnight, books.

(eerie music)

(Deborah vocalizes)

(eerie music)

(farts)

(clacker thuds)

Action.

Excuse me, occupied.

I am the scarlet leper,

pregnant with red leprosy,

and you called me a whore?

No, no, I never said you were a whore.

I said you were...

Ugly!

(screams)

(shucking) (dramatic eerie music)

(body thuds)

[Deborah] Shut the fuck up, bitch.

(slaps) (audience exclaims)

[Evelyn] Help me!

Somebody help me!

Help!

[Adrian] Over here.

(Evelyn screams)

[Deborah] You can be quiet.

My lady was quiet as a mouse.

Ah!

Jesus, fuck.

You crazy old bitch!

(Evelyn grunts)

(Evelyn whimpering)

(eerie music)

(dramatic music)

(muffled screaming) (dramatic music)

(flesh rips) (Evelyn screaming)

Somebody! Help me!

Somebody!

Please!

(audience exclaiming)

Please!

Oh my god! Please help me!

Please, please, please!

(Evelyn screams)

You motherfucker!

You let me out!

You hear me, you ignorant old fuck!

Let me out of here, you illiterate old fuck!

No!

No!

(Evelyn screams)

(squelching)

She told you to shush.

You too shall star in "The Maiming of the Shrew."

(grand orchestral music) (applause)

Oh, hey, uh-

- Hi.

Hi.

You didn't see, like a pretty, kind of redhead girl

come through here?

Was she wearing a sassy pink Juicy?

A what?

She left.

In a cab. Alone.

I'm sorry.

(eerie music)

(dramatic music)

Hey.

Deb, I gotta tell you, the new movie's amazing.

Seriously.

It's like they just keep getting like bigger and better.

Who was that lady? She was rad.

Thanks, Steven.

- She's an old friend. - Oh, cool.

Oh look, Debbie, your dad's influence

is totally showing through and he really got great horror,

you know what I mean?

Daddy would've loved my movies.

Oh yeah.

Look, this is weird, but you're not, like,

hiring at all, are you?

'Cause man, I would love to work here

if you needed any extra help or-

- No, not at the moment.

But I'll make you a deal,

you're next in line when someone leaves.

Really?

Oh, that'd be awesome.

Thanks.

I'm glad you liked the movie tonight, Steven.

(eerie music)

(splashing)

(eerie music)

[Claire] Hello?

Hi.

Claire?

[Claire] Psych, it's Claire Bear, not there.

Leave a message.

(eerie music)

(rock music)

I couldn't believe it.

They were just standing out there waiting for me.

Searched my bag, gave me the third degree, everything.

Yeah, well they do think that

you're gonna shoot up the school.

Hey, maybe you should.

Hey guys.

Oh wow. Hi, Janeane.

We were wondering, have you heard from Claire?

She hasn't called us since Friday night

when she was at the movies with you.

Which is weird.

No, I haven't heard from her since Friday, either.

Not answering her cell phone is so weird.

- Totally weird. - And what's even weirder,

you were the last one to see her.

Actually, technically I wasn't,

the usher was there and he said he saw her leave

and get in a cab.

So the usher was the last one to see her?

Right, I'm so sure Claire knows ushers.

(bell rings)

So tell me, is this nameless usher as scary as you are?

What is that supposed to mean?

Time to fuck off, ladies.

Bite me, Judy.

(Judy growls) (barks)

Look, maybe she's just sick.

(gasps) No, you know what?

She's binging.

You know, who even cares?

I mean, did you at least like Deb's movie?

Oh, the movie was amazing.

Amazing? Do you even know the definition of the word?

Come on, we gotta go.

Look, I'm seeing it after school today anyway.

How? The movie theater is closed on weekdays now.

I know, I called over there and told 'em I was a reporter.

Asked the guy for an interview with Deborah.

Did you tell them you're a reporter

for a school newspaper?

Eh, nope, nor did I tell him that my article

is actually about self-hating women.

Oh god.

[Principal Over PA] Attention students.

Steven Thompson is asked to report

to the principal's office after last period today.

(Claire screaming)

I look good.

Mm, indeed.

Indeed.

Has Adrian returned yet with the processed footage

from "The Slasher and the Rye?"

Not yet, ma'am.

I'll let you know as soon it arrives.

(sensual jazz music)

What would I do without my Mr. Twigs?

(moaning) (sensual jazz music)

(knocking)

(Mr. Twigs grumbles)

Oh.

Look, I told you, I came outta the theater

looking for Claire.

She wasn't there and the usher said

he saw her leave and get in a cab alone, that's all.

Look, you should be interviewing the usher.

He's the last one who saw her, not me.

You're telling us she left in a cab by herself

for no apparent reason?

I don't know, I guess. I wasn't there.

But you were there, Steven.

We know that you were at the theater with Claire that night.

We have eyewitness reports.

Steven, please.

What happened?

- What did you do to her? - (dramatic music)

Would you like to sit down?

I'll notify Miss Tennis that you're ready to begin.

- Okay. - (Mr. Twigs chuckles)

(eerie music)

Shit.

(door opens)

So sorry to keep you waiting.

(eerie music)

Hello, folks.

I'm Detective Woods.

Thank God you're here.

Detective Woods. Thank you for coming.

This is, um, regarding the disappearance of a student.

Yes. My daughter.

And he did something to her.

Arrest him!

For some time now we've had reason to believe

that Steven is a potential threat to himself,

as well as other students.

So you wish to cancel this interview?

Not cancel, just I'd like to reschedule.

I-..

(coughs)

I'm sorry.

I'm just not feeling well at all today,

and I don't think I'd do you any justice.

I'm an extremely busy woman.

I realize that, and that's why, um,

I just, I just really hope we'll be able

to do the interview another time?

I'm just really sorry if I've wasted any of your time.

(eerie dramatic music)

[Deborah] So you're just gonna leave?

Really, I'm not trying to be rude, okay?

I just, I don't feel well.

I have to go.

(hitting) Please!

Oh, that is very unprofessional.

No, please, let me, just let me go!

No, please!

Oh, we're not gonna hurt you, my dear.

(gasps)

I was just going to unlock the door.

Stop that bitch! She has our cell phone!

Did you take our cell phone?

I swear, I don't even know

what you guys are talking about.

Liar.

Have you ever acted before?

Because you're not very good.

- (phone ringing) - No!

Oh, fuck!

(screaming)

Oh, please!

No! No, please, no!

(Judy screams)

Can I go now?

I don't see why not?

You're letting him go?

Ma'am, we don't have any evidence

this kid's involved in a crime.

We don't even know a crime's been committed.

Now, if you'll file a missing person's report,

we'll begin looking for your daughter.

Steven's free to go.

- Thank you. - What?

[Mrs. Moorehead] This is insane.

What are you doing?

(cars honk in the distance)

Oh, I do not think so, cover girl.

No, you could work on Peter-not-so-Gorge over there, huh?

Come here.

- Do I look all right? - Oh, you look gorgeous.

Stunning.

Fierce.

We're 10 seconds away.

There you are.

Mm.

Very nice.

Uh sorry, stud. The show's starting.

- (upbeat music) - Fuck you, troll!

[Man] We're live.

Oh.

(upbeat music)

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to another

rise and shine edition of Morning Fog (clears throat) Live,

the best way to start your day by the bay.

I'm Peter Gorge.

Steven, come in here and watch the TV.

I think your girlfriend's on.

[Peter] Movie theater entrepreneur...

Did the phone ring?

No, you just asked me that five minutes ago.

I'm afraid the phone has not rung.

Beloved neighborhood movie house

by grinding out weekly gore films

that she writes, directs and stars in,

satisfying a rather large number of fans'

unquenchable thirst for violence.

Deborah Tennis's films are shocking,

and fans say they're as real as it gets,

so we are very pleased to have her on the show today.

(Peter coughs)

Welcome, Deborah.

Thanks, Peter.

Pleasure to be here.

Now your films have had an almost

immediate cult following.

Are you comfortable with your newfound local celebrity?

It can be a bit strange at times,

but I realize I'm truly blessed to be in this position.

My fans mean the world to me.

- What is she wearing? - Shh.

Critics have suggested it, and I do agree with them,

that the success of your films lies

in the realistic performances of your cast.

You know, Peter, it was Hitch

who said actors are merely cattle.

I must concur that great acting is quite often

the result of great directing.

An actor's greatest strength is proper motivation.

Well, let's take a look at a clip

from your notorious new short.

Would you care to set this up for us?

Great art speaks for itself.

Okay.

Uh, well, let's check it out. (Clears throat)

Here is an exclusive scene from "The Slasher in the Rye."

(girl screaming)

Okay, enough, enough.

- Okay. - Hey, hey, hey.

No, I'm sorry, Steven.

I'm just trying to understand why you like this stuff.

Look, just turn it back on.

No, no. Enough.

This is sick.

I mean, I just don't get it.

Okay, I have an idea.

I'm gonna come down to the theater

and I'm gonna see what's so wonderful about all this.

No way, lady.

(Linda sighs)

(phone rings)

- Hello? - Is it Judy?

One moment, please.

No. Take the carrots, go.

(Steven sighs)

Um, yes, I'm sorry.

What can I do to help you, Mrs. Moorehead?

(eerie music)

(knocking)

(knocking)

We're closed, kid.

My name's Steven.

I know you're closed. I'm here to see Deb, actually.

Is she around?

Deborah is doing a television interview across town.

We do not know when she'll return. (Chuckles)

Would you mind if I just came in and waited for her?

You'll need to call back and make an appointment.

Please, listen, I'm actually a friend of Deborah's

and I really do need to speak with her.

Maybe you can help me?

See, my friend Judy, she was supposed to come by here

and interview Deborah yesterday afternoon,

and I was wondering if she was ever here,

'cause she's uh, she's, she's gone, like, missing, so.

Eh, I'm sorry.

I don't know. (screaming)

You'll have to look for her some place else.

Is...

Is that somebody screaming? (screaming)

We're making a new film.

You must hear the movie.

It's a recording.

Turn that down, turn that down!

Now if you'll excuse me, I really must be going.

I have work to do!

Wait, please. Just, if you could-

- [Man] SFPD, Taraval Station.

[Steven] Hello?

Yeah, hi, I need to speak with Detective Woods.

This is an emergency.

(Jazz music)

Adrian.

There's an attractive crazy lady.

Red hat, yellow scarf.

Cast her.

Copy that, but it's getting kind of crowded up here.

I don't know how many more actors we can fit.

Over.

(Jazz music)

Code pig.

Shh.

Quiet.

Quiet.

Good afternoon.

Is there something I can help you with?

I'm Detective Woods.

I simply stopped in to have a little check in with you.

Make sure everything's all right.

Everything's great.

Fabulous.

Well, as you can see,

we're holding our monthly soup kitchen matinee.

I love the homeless people.

Don't you?

When did this start?

Would you care for some soup?

Popcorn?

A soda, perhaps?

No, thank you.

Would you mind if we took a look around?

Actually, I'm sorry,

now really isn't a very convenient time for a tour.

(chuckles)

We're in the middle of a- Oh, we won't be trouble.

Just wanna take a look around ourselves.

What exactly are you looking for?

There's a young lady missing.

Two.

There are two missing people.

Claire Kavanaugh was last seen in this theater.

I'd like to take a look and see if there's anything here

that can help us find her.

We have reason to believe- Did Steven bring you here?

Officer, this kid is an obsessed fan of mine.

A stalker.

He's upset because I won't hire him.

Look, I can assure you,

there's nothing here regarding that missing girl.

You can assure me?

Look, lady, can we take a look around

or do I need to go get a search warrant

and come back here and turn this place upside down?

Because that's what I'll do.

There's really no need for any of this.

But if you feel you must, then yes,

you'll need a search warrant.

Now I'm sorry, but I really must ask you to leave.

Now I have to get back to taking care of people,

feeding them, helping the homeless, as it were.

Why don't you guys go bother some other Good Samaritan?

Why don't you go find Mother-fucking-Teresa and harass her?

So now what?

We get a search warrant.

- A search warrant? - That could be too late.

Look, she's right in there.

Look, we're willing to investigate this lead of yours,

but you have to realize, if this is real,

we need to be sure,

absolutely positive we do this by the book.

She could die.

Listen, I'm going back to the station

to start the paperwork.

Go home, Steven. Stay home.

Try to relax.

(car starts up)

(eerie music)

Steven, Steven, Steven.

I'm very disappointed in you.

You know, I really thought you were my number one fan.

I thought you loved me.

What have you done to Judy?

Where is she?

I just don't know what you're talking about, Steven.

Oh, you have quite an imagination.

Well, it's sexy, but dangerous.

You're sick.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? All of you.

Steven, I'm sorry we're no longer friends,

but I really hope that doesn't stop you

from attending the debut of my first

feature length film this Friday.

Oh, we're casting it now.

Guess who stars in it?

Now your little girlfriend isn't the best actress,

oh, but she's got a great blood curdling scream.

(snaps fingers)

Here.

It's on me.

(eerie music)

(dramatic eerie music)

Hey, freak. No date?

I guess most girls aren't into disappearing,

you sick fucker.

(girls giggle)

(eerie music)

Mom, what are you doing here?

Hey, fancy meeting you here.

You know, I mean, what do you mean what am I doing here?

What do you think I'm doing here?

I came to see the movie.

God, you're lying, please.

You have to go home. You shouldn't be here.

I didn't come here to embarrass you, honey.

I'm sorry.

You know, I wanted to find out about this stuff,

so I figured what better way?

Lots of mothers wouldn't be out here

in the frigid fog, okay?

And guess what? I got the last ticket.

- I got the very last one. - Mom, I'm serious.

It's dangerous here.

I need you to go home, please.

Come on, I mean it. You have to leave.

Steven. No, I'm not going home, Steven.

Okay, I'm a big girl. Just stop being so hysterical.

Just relax and try to have fun, okay?

Come on.

Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

go ahead and step right up and get

your complimentary beverage for the big toast.

But don't drink it now,

don't drink it now, folks.

Save it for the toast.

You sir, yeah, you got two? Good.

Good for you.

Cool, it's like blood.

Does it have booze in it?

[Adrian] Just a little while

so we can all do the toast together, okay?

What about calories?

- Mm. - (laughing)

All right, all right.

Step right up and go ahead and get your complimentary beverage,

but I need you to just hang onto it for a little while

so we can all drink it together.

[Mr. Twigs] Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Victoria Theatre,

for the world premiere of Deborah Tennis's

feature film debut, "Gore and Peace." (chuckles)

You're all invited to enjoy a complimentary beverage,

available at the concession stand.

Don't you wanna get any drinks so

- we can have a toast? - What?

- Drinks so we can have a toast? - No.

Mom, don't drink that, okay?

Whatever you do, please don't drink it.

Look, I'll be right back.

Don't go anywhere, okay?

No, actually go home.

Will you please go home?

Steven.

Don't forget your complimentary drinks.

All right, and you can have some popcorn, too.

All right, boys. Get your beverages.

Get 'em.

Don't spill anything.

All right, enjoy, save it for the toast, all right?

We're gonna have a toast together real soon.

All right.

(splashing)

Oh my God. How Jonestown.

I love it.

(Mr. Twigs chuckles)

Save it for the toast, bitch.

(kisses)

All right.

Guys, don't drink that stuff, okay?

Please.

Hey, please, the stuff she gave you

in the little cups, please don't drink it.

It's poison. It'll kill you, okay?

Hey, please, don't drink this stuff, okay?

It's poisoned.

- Now that's a nice touch. - Please, don't drink it.

Please, don't drink this stuff, okay?

We've all had just about enough

of your shit, freak.

The only murderer here is you.

(dramatic eerie music)

Steven, just come and sit down.

Please, come and sit down.

(Janeane laughs)

Holy shit, his mommy's here.

(all laughing) (eerie music)

Fuck waiting, let's get drunk!

(cheering)

Woo!

[Audience] Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

(eerie music)

Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,

chug, chug, chug, chug! (cheering)

(girls laugh)

(patrons chattering)

(Mr. Twigs chuckles)

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have the distinct pleasure and the great honor

to introduce San Francisco's very own film hero.

Without further ado, the one, the only, Deborah Tennis.

(cheering) (applause)

Thank you, thank you.

(cheering) (applause)

She certainly is pretty.

You must know, I'd rather be here with you tonight

than anywhere else in the world.

We are about to make film history tonight.

Not only is this the world premiere

of my first feature length film,

but it is also the debut of a brand new type of cinema.

We are breaking through the underground tonight.

All of us here, all of you.

(mechanical whirring) (eerie music)

For you are the movie, ladies and gentlemen.

We are all stars tonight.

The cameras are rolling.

The lights are struck!

(eerie music)

I knew it.

(patrons chattering) (eerie music)

Wow.

(patrons chattering)

But first, I'd like to offer a toast.

No.

Please don't drink it.

It's poison. It will Kill you.

Cut!

Dude, shut the fuck...

U...

(vomiting)

(screaming)

(blood spurting) (screaming)

As I was saying, I'd like to make a toast!

(indistinct chattering)

Very realistic.

No. Don't you see?

It's fucking poison.

She will kill you. Don't drink it.

Steven!

This first scene is just for you!

Enjoy the show!

(dramatic eerie music)

(Judy screams)

Please!

Somebody please, come get me! Help me!

Oh my god, she's gonna kill me!

- I swear to god! - Judy?

(hits) (thuds)

(dramatic eerie music) (Judy screaming)

Ew.

What's your problem?

I'm gonna kill that cunt.

Oh, oh, oh.

Steven.

And what role do you think you're playing in my movie?

The hero.

Oh, stupid girl.

It's not a comedy.

- Back up! - No!

Come on, Adrian. We've got a movie to make.

(dramatic eerie music) (patrons shouting)

We're all locked inside!

(cracking)

(dramatic eerie music)

Oh my god, it's that rude ass girl.

No, not Claire.

(screaming) (squelching)

She's too sexy.

No.

Okay, she can't hear you, stoops.

It's only a movie.

(body thuds)

(screaming)

(vent opens)

Look out!

(hand thuds)

Holy shit.

Come on, Mar, we're outta here.

(dramatic music)

Martiny, no!

No!

(Adrian grunts)

What the fuck is wrong with you?

(Adrian laughs)

Fucking sick!

(body thuds)

(Adrian yelling)

Ugh.

Ugh!

- (police siren wails) - We are hearing reports

that suggest what was a movie premiere

is now a hostage situation taking place

inside the Victoria Theatre.

Filmmaker Deborah Tennis is conducting

a real life movie massacre.

(screaming) (banging)

You sick old fuck!

You people planned on killing us all,

I mean, you're committing mass murder here.

You should have moved your filthy, fat ass

outta my way when you had the chance, slut.

Give me that knife.

Put down that knife before someone gets hurts.

We're unlocking these doors

so you just hand over those keys, Twigs.

Or what, girl?

Behind that loud mouth, you're just another

teenage slut worthy of death.

Fuck off and die, cunt.

(body parts thudding)

(hits)

(Mr. Twigs grunts)

Steven! Steven!

Oh my god.

Steven!

(eerie dramatic music)

(squelching)

(police sirens wailing)

Detective Wood.

Thank God you're here.

It's Steven.

I just knew something like this was going to happen.

You could have stopped him.

Yeah. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Mom?

Mom, where are you?

[Linda] Steven!

(eerie dramatic music)

[Judy] Oh no.

[Peaches] Hurry up.

Oh no, no, guys, we gotta get outta here.

Oh no, no, guys.

(lights matches)

(eerie, dramatic music)

Oh, hell no.

(squelching) (grunting)

Just try a different key. Come on, hurry up.

(Lolita panting)

Hey.

Okay, he's really, really dead now.

(eerie dramatic music)

[Lolita] Open the fucking door.

[Gene] We got a door open!

We got a door open!

Stop.

Make one false move, Doublemint,

and I won't hesitate to relieve your faces

of any and all pretty.

(screaming)

Come on, bitch!

Look at this!

(Linda screams)

Mom!

No, stop, Steven. Stay there.

Stay back, she's crazy. She's gonna kill us both.

Listen to your mother, Steven.

She's a fine lady.

And isn't it obvious? She loves you very much.

She always will. Even from heaven.

- Stop, don't do this. - Just let her go, okay?

Just let her go.

She's got nothing to do with this, your movie.

It would make for a happy ending indeed.

Let me think about it for a moment.

Well...

No. (Laughs)

You're smarter than that, Steven.

You know better than anybody,

the audience is always secretly rooting for the killer.

We wanna see this mommy bitch die!

(Linda screams)

Okay!

Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

(screaming)

His name is Steven Thompson,

and we've known for some time now he could be dangerous.

We've reached the finale, Steven.

At its core, this film is about love, not horror.

Our love.

Love and death!

Knock it off, Deb.

There are no cameras here.

Jesus, your father would be so ashamed.

What did you say about my father?

Your father appreciated true talent,

and he respected horror and the art of being creative.

But you?

You're just a fraud and a hack.

Daddy?

Daddy?

Daddy?

Daddy?

I did it for you, Daddy.

You know I did, I did it all for you.

Okay?

- You're pathetic. - Mr. Tennis has you for a legacy?

You're not even directing people.

And you know what? You're a terrible actress.

You're nothing.

- There is no magic. - Shut up, Steven.

Just shut up. (Steven grunts)

- Okay, just everybody shut up! - You're a terrible person.

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

- You're just crap! - Shut up!

Just shut up!

Please.

And without a hint of star quality.

(Deborah screams)

(squelching) (dramatic music)

(Steven yells)

(Deborah yells)

(eerie music)

(body thuds) (Mrs. Moorehead yelps)

[Peter] Do you have any kind of comment?

(eerie dramatic music) (cameras clicking)

All right, come on, we gotta get outta here.

[Lolita] Go! Get the fuck out!

(eerie dramatic music)

[Judy] Steven!

[Steven] Hey, come on, come on, come on!

(eerie dramatic music)

If you had done your job,

none of this would've happened,

and I wouldn't be covered with this blood and gore-

- I think maybe you owe him an apology.

[Mrs. Moorehead] What?

(dramatic music)

[Judy] Arrest them!

Shoot them!

- Twice! - Freeze.

Stop right there, ladies.

Drop your weapons.

I said drop your weapons.

I hope you like jail 'cause you're gonna be there

for the rest of your lives.

Drop those knives.

(eerie music)

(squelching) (yells)

(squelching) (yelling)

[Peaches] Oh.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Wow.

Hey. Hey kid, kid, kid, hey.

Hey, what do you make of all this, huh?

Are you still a fan of Deborah Tennis?

No, of course not.

- Why not? - She was killing people.

Her movies were not movies. And her actors...

We were all duped, okay?

This is a crime scene. Not a movie set.

I'm just glad it's over, okay?

If somebody made this into a horror movie,

- would you go and see it? - No.

This never was a movie, and it never should be a movie.

If somebody made a movie of it,

Deborah Tennis wouldn't even be dead yet.

(eerie music)

I gotta go. Jesus.

(eerie music)

- [Man Over Loudspeaker] - Step away from the theater!

Show's over, folks.

(eerie rock music)

(singer vocalizing) (eerie rock music)

♪ I never wanted to be somebody ♪

♪ But you want me to be somebody ♪

♪ If I could I would, I'd kill for you ♪

♪ I just want you to like me ♪

♪ Maybe you would notice me ♪

♪ If I had something for you to see ♪

♪ I'll give more than a lucid dream ♪

♪ I'll give you more than reality ♪

♪ Kill, kill, kill ♪

♪ Kill for star quality ♪

♪ I'll kill, kill, kill ♪

♪ Kill for star quality ♪

(synth rock music)

♪ Well if I was way too good for you ♪

♪ Would I care if you like me ♪

♪ I got nothin' more to prove to you ♪

♪ 'Cause I know what I need ♪

♪ I'll create a new identity ♪

♪ Love me or hate me, I'm a celebrity ♪

♪ Kill, kill, kill ♪

♪ Kill for star quality ♪

♪ I'll kill, kill, kill ♪

♪ I got star quality ♪

(synth rock music)

♪ Did you ever get what you wished for ♪

♪ Well I did, I'll make you believe ♪

♪ You get a taste and then you want more ♪

♪ Fuck you, I got your blood on my sleeve ♪

♪ I'll create a new identity ♪

♪ Love me or hate me, I'm a celebrity ♪

♪ Kill, kill, kill ♪

♪ Kill for star quality ♪

♪ I'll kill, kill, kill ♪

♪ I got star quality ♪

(synth rock music)

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