Original subtitles

"Like a gold ring on a pig's snout

is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion."

(sighs)

Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned.

And then...

someone begat someone else and then someone else begat...

(sighs)

Where's all the good stuff when you need it?

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us...

No, forgive me...

No, let them forgive me.

"It is better

"to live in the corner of the housetop

than in the house with a quarrelsome wife."

There's got to be something somewhere in here

that would cover this situation.

Hey, what's Ruthie going to have?

Nothing.

We didn't ask her.

Why'd you go all the way up two flights of stairs

if you weren't gonna ask her?

She was having church.

She was saying prayers.

And reading the Bible.

Not your mom-- Ruthie.

Did you ask Ruthie what she wanted for a snack?

Really, Dad, Ruthie's busy with God stuff.

Ruthie is reading her Bible and saying prayers?

Maybe I'll just go up and see if I can help her with that.

If a cracker is the body of Christ...

I wonder what a cookie is.

"Because of this, I will weep and wail.

"I will go about barefoot and naked.

I will howl like a jackal and moan like an owl."

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th Heaven ♪

♪ 7th Heaven. ♪

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Annie said to tell you that we're out of Cheerios,

but if you want eggs or bacon or toast,

you're more than welcome to make anything you want.

Oh, no.

Thanks, anyways.

I got to get going.

I actually want to catch the early bus.

I have to get to the library, so I...

Hang on just a sec.

You have any idea what's going on with Ruthie?

Ruthie?

Your girlfriend, my daughter.

Um... haven't seen her this morning.

No, I have no idea what's going on with her.

No idea whatsoever.

Ah, that's interesting.

- Is it? -Well, I just haven't seen you two

talking or making out, uh, for almost a week now.

Why is that?

That's really kind of personal.

Yeah, that's how it felt when I kept seeing you

kissing my daughter-- really kind of personal.

I'm just not comfortable discussing this with you.

You know. The father, the reverend...

- Oh. - ...the landlord.

And yet you have no trouble with the actual making out.

No. I wasn't comfortable making out in front of you either,

but I, well, I had very little to say about that.

And I have very little to say about our current situation.

- What happened? - (sighs)

Just tell me, 'cause someone's gonna tell me eventually,

and you might as well make it you.

I can't.

Ruthie--she asked me not to.

And you agreed not to?

Well... I don't know if I agreed exactly,

but still, it just, it wouldn't be right.

It's a... private matter.

Have you not learned there are no private matters

in this household?

- No? - Mm-mm.

Is that true?

Oh, it's completely true.

And, you know, sometimes

it's-it's, ah, it's just nice to get the opportunity

to-to get your side of the story out there first.

You know?

You might want to make me understand your point of view

even before I hear the other side of the story

from my own daughter, whom I dearly love.

Okay, honestly, I-I don't think it's a good idea.

I don't even think it's a good idea for us to be talking.

Why is that?

'Cause she is your daughter, whom you dearly love.

Yeah.

I mean, dearly, dearly love.

And I just hope you remember that,

even in your darkest hour--

meaning yours and Ruthie's darkest hours.

I wasn't referring to your health, and, uh...

How are you, by the way?

Feeling... strong?

What?

All I'm trying to say is that

I know how much you love Ruthie, and you'll get through this.

She'll get through this.

I'll get through this.

We all will, God willing.

Even Mrs. Camden.

Good-bye.

"God willing."

- Yes? - Hmm.

God.

It's just a saying.

It's a religious saying.

For some.

Something's going on here,

and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

Yeah, there is a bottom to this.

Look, Theodore, I love my daughter, but

I really care about you a lot, son.

Well, thank you, but, uh, smart enough

to know that feelings don't always last.

And if that's the case here, I completely understand.

Good-bye.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

"Here" with-with you and me or with you and Ruthie?

Did you two break up?

Technically, we're taking a break.

I don't think it's an actual breakup.

That will probably depend on you.

You and Mrs. Camden.

And anyone else who gets a vote.

Why are you taking a break?

Your idea or her idea?

That's something you're gonna have to ask Ruthie.

I-I'm sorry.

I wish I could tell you, but...

I can't, I just can't.

- Why not? - RUTHIE: Dad?

What are you doing?

Well, I was, uh, just trying to talk to him.

And why would that be?

'Cause he lives here.

You know, I thought he might have done something

that he'd want to talk to me about.

Have you done anything with him

that you want to talk to me about?

No, but even if I had,

I'm sure you could recall the verse

in the New Testament--

"Forgive him, for he knows not what he do."

Or did, or does.

My point being, we should all forgive.

I mean, that's what we should all do, forgive,

no matter what, right?

Not that he has anything to be forgiven for.

Nor do I.

It's "forgive them, they know not what they do."

And what part of the Bible is that from?

It's from the new part.

It's Christ giving forgiveness

to those who are about to betray him.

I thought so.

But I thought that was referring to Judas.

No, it refers to...

Are you taking some sort of course in religion?

No, I'm just

- studying on my own. - Oh. When did you

start doing that?

I don't know.

Like, recently, in the past week or so?

I've always been interested in religion, Dad.

I mean, how could I not be when you're my dad?

But you became more interested, like, in the past week?

I guess.

Have you and T Bone...

The two of you-- you-you haven't...

Have you...

You-You're not...

Are you...

Having sex?

God, no.

No, we're definitely not having sex.

Nor have we had sex or will we ever have sex

until and unless we're married.

Oh.

Why would you think we've had sex?

Just because I'm interested in spiritual matters?

Yes.

Did you two get married?

- Dad! Come on! - Well,

you know, I went upstairs

to see if you wanted a snack last night

when I thought you were studying,

and I-I heard you reading from the Bible and praying.

Well, why didn't you join me?

I don't know.

You seemed so focused

on what you were doing that I just left.

Are you and T Bone together?

Not together?

You're taking a break from being together?

The third one.

Oh.

We're just gonna see how it goes.

Ruthie, are you okay?

I'm fine.

My life is changing.

Constantly changing.

And sometimes things change for the good

and sometimes things change for the bad.

And sometimes I don't know which it is, good or bad.

But... "to everything, there is a season."

Ecclesiastes.

But you know that.

Well, bye, Dad.

I love you.

If you need me to help the boys

with their homework or help out with anything around the house,

all you have to do is ask.

Hey, I'm here to serve.

Have a blessed day.

(door closes)

What was that?

Where are the boys?

Oh, I sent them back upstairs to look for some subjects

for their papier-mâché project.

I can't get an answer out of any of them, you know--

not the twins or Ruthie or T Bone.

They're all over the place.

No, no, you got an answer.

We got the answer that we've been looking for.

They're not having sex.

And I believe her, I do.

Then what else has made her so suddenly religious?

Look, Lucy got interested in religion back in high school.

Right? And she wasn't doing anything wrong.

Well, nothing that we know about.

Are we really going to let Ruthie's reading the Bible

and praying make us this suspicious

that she's doing something bad?

Yes.

I know. It's terrible, isn't it?

What else could it be?

I don't know.

You don't think they got drunk

or experimented with drugs or something like that, do you?

They both came home not feeling well last weekend.

I don't think Ruthie was drunk or high, do you?

I don't think so, but something was wrong that night,

and something's been wrong all week.

You don't want to go to Lucy's and see if

they found out anything, do you?

I'll stay with the boys.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Good morning.

Hi, Savannah.

(sighs) Or, you know,

maybe it's not such a good morning.

Ruthie called me last night

and asked me if she could start coming to my teen class.

KEVIN: I don't get it.

She's had an open invitation to-to join my teen class

ever since it's been in existence,

and she's never been to it.

Is Sandy still teaching that class?

Sandy does not teach it.

She's watching me teach.

ERIC: Have you tried

just talking to Ruthie?

Hello. Yes, of course I've tried talking to Ruthie.

For a week now.

I-I can't get a confession out of her.

Why can't Protestants confess?

I mean, why do Catholics have to have a franchise on that?

Well, dear...

even if Ruthie confessed to me or Lucy,

we couldn't tell you what it is that she confessed.

- That's probably why priests don't marry. -Why?

You think I couldn't get Ruthie's confession out of you?

Oh, wait a minute.

Wait just a minute.

Nothing.

- Kevin. - Ditto.

Well, it's just that if a criminal

is going to get religion, he usually does it

between the guilty verdict and the sentencing.

- Hey. - Hi, Luce.

Hey, I am so glad you got down here early.

Well, I'm so glad my dad could take Aaron today so I could.

How is your dad?

Sober and happy and working hard.

And he gets along better with Martin's dad than me and Martin.

Well, that's good, I-I guess.

Yeah, and they started that little lawn service business,

and they're actually making money, so they hired

more people to work for them, so he took the day off to babysit.

Wasn't that nice?

It's very nice.

Aaron loves him.

And he's actually really good with babies.

Of course, he's kind of childlike, my dad.

But not too childlike to babysit.

Do you know something about my dad?

Is that what you want to talk about?

Oh, oh, no, no, no.

I-I didn't mean to alarm you.

I just wanted to come and have lunch and talk.

No one wants to just come and have lunch and talk.

What's going on?

Martin didn't find out about my date last weekend, did he?

No, but how'd it go?

Let's just say it's still going.

He's called me every night this week.

Well, that's good, I guess.

I-I... I don't know.

Anyway, um... I know this may sound silly,

but we're all a little concerned

about Ruthie and T Bone-- well, mostly Ruthie.

Um, you know, Kevin, my dad, my mom, me.

- Oh. - And we were wondering

if, you know, maybe she called you.

Called me?

Yeah, I guess we're all just really desperate

to find out if she confided in someone, and...

I-I know it's a long shot,

but I thought that maybe, you know...

Yeah, she called me.

Wait, Ruthie called you?

I mean, she doesn't even...

I mean, I mean, she likes you, it's just that...

What did she call you about, if you don't mind telling me?

I don't mind. Just... stuff.

Do you mind telling me what stuff?

She wanted to know if I told my parents when I was getting

in trouble in high school or if they found out.

Things like that. The same questions that I've gotten

from all the girls in your class. And I told her

that that class was a really safe place for her to talk

to other young women that are struggling

with the challenges of just... growing up.

So she said she would ask you about coming to the class.

What could she have done?

I don't know.

Are you sure?

Lucy.

You do know!

Please don't ask me.

I can't say anything.

She's gonna come to the class, and she can tell you.

Right in front of everyone?

Well, there's a reason for that.

A reason like...

Sometimes if you have bad news, it's easier to say it

in front of other people.

Or in a public place.

Especially if you don't know what the reaction's gonna be.

Well, she told you whatever it is in private.

You know what I mean.

Sometimes when a person has done something

that they're not proud of,

it's easier for them to talk to someone else

that's done something that they're not proud of.

Like me.

What could Ruthie have done that she's not proud of?

I can't; I promised.

Well, she obviously wants me to know.

(sighs)

(crowd applauding, cheering over TV)

(knocking)

Who is it?

KEVIN: It's me.

You loser!

You know that's not your baby!

Mac?

Yeah?

Would you let me in?

Isn't the door unlocked?

Oh... it's the other guy, you moron!

You think that forcing a guy into a paternity test

is going to make him like you any better?

Geez!

Would you let me in?

(shuts off TV)

Hey, Kevin.

Hey, yourself.

What's going on in here?

I'm just studying for a test.

Not a paternity test, I hope.

No, just world literature.

You're watching TV.

I'm taking a little break.

The test is at 3:00.

I'll only be a minute.

(sighs) All right, well, I don't guess that you'd want to see

the end of that show I was watching, would you?

I'm just fascinated by the whole human drama--

why people would go on TV and air their dirty laundry.

I just--I don't get it.

Neither do I.

Nor do I get why people like you pay to watch them.

It's just that it's a real-life study in human behavior.

Speaking of which, what's going on with Ruthie and T Bone?

Speaking of which?

We weren't speaking of which, were we?

I-I know I wasn't.

I knew you'd know something.

Did I mention that I have a test in world literature at 3:00?

That's literature from all over the world.

I've had so much world literature to read

from all over the world

that I haven't had time to do anything else.

I haven't seen Ruthie or T Bone in...

a long time, very long time.

Like a week?

Something like that.

Why don't we both sit down?

Uh, I-I wish I could, but I have to study.

Okay.

So, it was a week ago that you saw T Bone last?

Almost that.

I-I gave him a ride home from the Promenade last weekend.

He wasn't feeling well, was he?

Let me see. Uh...

Yeah, you're right. He-He wasn't feeling well.

How's he doing now?

He's fine.

I'm glad to hear it.

What would you know about T Bone and Ruthie

that you wouldn't want to tell me?

See, th-that's funny that you say that, because I was reading

that the properly-phrased question contains the answer.

Don't give me any of your world literature garbage,

just answer the question.

Kevin, you're not a police officer anymore.

If you were, I'd have to answer you, but you're just a friend.

And Ruthie's my friend, too, and so is T Bone.

In fact, T Bone got me my job, and that job pays my rent,

and he could possibly get me out of that job

if he chose to do so.

I think that we just need to let well enough alone

and let these two young lovebirds fly

wherever they want to fly.

What the heck does that mean?

It means that I can't tell you.

It means that it's none of my business.

It means that if they want to make it your business...

it's up to them.

Did T Bone or Ruthie tell you not to tell me?

Not only did they tell me not to tell you,

but I promised, on my mother's grave.

Okay, well, I can respect that.

Then again, your mother's not dead,

so I think there's a little room for a compromise here.

What if I guess?

No, no, don't-don't do that, don't guess.

Drugs?

- No. - Alcohol?

No, b-but please don't do this.

Sex?

That-That's old news.

She had sex in Scotland, and Mrs. Camden knows it,

and she's okay with that.

That was a lie.

Ruthie didn't do anything in Scotland,

and Mrs. Camden would never be okay with it.

Really?

I guess I misunderstood.

Tell me what you know.

I can't.

Could we stop now?

I'm hungry.

Oh, no, no, no, keep talking.

What else have you seen?

That's it.

Okay, okay, so what do we have so far?

Okay, T Bone and Ruthie keep sneaking around

late at night talking, but they're not making out.

- Check. - Check.

Okay, and they're not arguing.

- Check. - Check.

But he keeps saying, "Tell them."

- Check. - Check.

Okay, what would they tell us?

I mean, what are they hiding?

Think, boys, think!

You must know something else.

You must have heard something else.

Or maybe there is this one thing.

Yeah?

They don't know we know.

I see.

Can you bake us some chocolate chip cookies?

Hello, Margaret.

Jane!

Hello, Jane.

Hi, Rev.

Honestly, we would have told you, but we couldn't.

Told me what?

He doesn't know anything.

He's not here for the burgers.

ERIC: No, I'm not.

And-And you do know something, obviously.

I told her not to do it.

Yeah, we both did.

No, we both didn't.

JANE: Okay, well, maybe I didn't.

But it was her decision.

Well, hers and T Bone's.

Oh.

You really don't know anything?

Then we should not be the ones to tell you.

Why not? Someone is going to tell me.

Well, it's not going to be us.

I don't think we want to take responsibility

for telling you something that might...

...that might kill you.

Oh, come on, it is not that serious.

Maybe not to you,

but these are God-fearing people.

Like God cares about that.

I don't know!

We didn't say that we wouldn't tell anyone.

ERIC: Please, I...

Look, I promise I-I won't die from, you know, whatever it is.

Promise.

I can't believe you told him.

You know, you didn't have to tell him.

You're the one who actually said the word "tattoo."

I said, "tiny tattoo."

Oh, so you told him the truth and lied

all at the same time.

He's going to see it, and it's not tiny.

He said he wouldn't say anything; he promised.

So how's he going to see it?

She's not going to show it to him.

And even if she does, it's just a tattoo.

I don't know what the big deal is.

So she has a tattoo?

That's the worst thing she ever does, then they're lucky.

Yeah, if.

But if that tattoo leads to her smoking cigarettes

and pot and drinking, then they're not so lucky.

Okay, tattoos do not lead to smoking and drinking.

In fact, it's usually the other way around.

Drinking and smoking lead to tattoos.

I can't believe she did something that stupid

stone-cold sober.

You told her where to get it done.

I didn't know she'd get what she got where she got it.

I thought she'd start out small.

Oh, here comes Mac.

Do not tell him we told Reverend Camden.

Do not tell anyone.

Please.

Because?

Because we don't want him to think

we're the kind of people who tell secrets.

And we don't want him to tell Ruthie and T Bone that we told.

Hey, roomies.

- Hi. - Hi. We're working.

I'll have a cheeseburger and a vanilla shake.

(shouting): Lay some yellow on a dead cow!

And shake up Snow White!

Those guys are, like, three feet away.

Why do you have to scream like that?

They make us.

And it's fun.

I like to scream.

Oh.

Well, all right.

You can pay for this, right?

Yes, I can pay.

So how'd your big test go?

Pretty good, I think, considering.

Considering what?

You don't know anything about world literature?

No, I do.

I mean considering

Kevin Kinkirk, former cop, came snooping around,

trying to figure out what Ruthie and T Bone are up to.

Did you tell him?

No.

Why? Did he come by here?

No. The reverend came by here.

We didn't tell him anything.

Well, good. I think that Ruthie

should be the one to tell them.

Absolutely.

Hey, guys.

I just want to grab a burger before I hit the road.

Did, uh, you see Lucy today?

Why do you want to know?

Oh, we're just curious.

Have you talked to Ruthie lately?

Have you talked to Ruthie lately?

Okay, I didn't say anything.

- Me neither. -Me neither. - Me neither.

- Mmm! - Mmm!

Hi!

Hello, Miss Cutie Pie.

Hi.

How'd things go with Sandy?

How did things go with Mac?

- I know. - I know.

I can't believe Ruthie did that.

Or T Bone.

I mean, how stupid can you get?

Like they're never going to be with another person?

I'm relieved it wasn't anything worse.

Relieved?!

Kevin, this could put Dad over the edge.

The big edge.

The final edge.

Oh, come on, he knew something was up.

He knew she did something he wasn't going to like.

It's just a tattoo.

Of a guy's name.

Like yours is any better?

Please don't ever say that out loud again!

Please, we can't ever, ever let him know or my mom know.

They can't.

Would you stop panicking? You're an adult.

It's your body; you can do whatever you want with it.

You're a grown woman with a baby.

Yeah, well, so is Mary,

and they don't know about her tattoo either.

What about Simon's tattoo?

No.

Matt's?

No!

Does Ruthie know?

Of course not.

You think we want to be a bad influence on her?

She's never seen any of your tattoos

and neither have your parents?

No!

They would kill us.

And it would kill Dad.

He can't ever know about this.

Guess it, uh, took you a little while

to get the information out of the boys, huh?

Oh, they don't know anything.

No?

You didn't.

All right. They know plenty.

And now I know.

Yeah, so do I.

- Jane and Margaret? - Mm-hmm.

I-I imagine Lucy found out.

Kevin, too, probably.

Young people aren't good

at keeping these kind of secrets.

Do you think Ruthie will tell us herself?

Hard to tell.

T Bone?

Not unless Ruthie lets him.

I can't believe it took us this long to figure this out.

She just looks so young.

I know, but she's not.

The boys say it's really big.

And it's his name.

Right across her backside.

- Mm. - I want to cry.

No, I-I did cry.

All afternoon.

I wonder how Ruthie feels.

Oh, I don't know, but she feels

like the others did about us.

I mean, she thinks we're going to kill her.

She's afraid of us.

Yeah, so afraid that she's suddenly turned religious?

No, I-I don't think it's a good idea

to get someone into religion out of fear, do you?

No, I-I don't like any decision made out of fear.

So what are we going to do?

Same thing we did with the others?

I guess we can try.

This one's going to be a little tricky,

but I think if we can get past the first few weeks,

we should be okay.

That's a big if.

Lots of people are involved.

You don't think any one of them

is going to tell her that they told us?

And admit that they're the snitch?

Nah. You think?

That's right, not wanting to be

the snitch is a powerful incentive.

Course we didn't have this problem

with the others, you know.

I don't know if the others told anyone

except each other, of course.

And the others liked their tattoos.

I-I don't know if Ruthie likes hers.

Well, you know, maybe...

maybe it's time to alter the course of Camden tattoo history.

Maybe we should try another way.

Another way, like what?

Maybe we should just flush them all out.

Oh, after all these years?

We could.

Could we?

Might be worth a try.

It's just not as fun as it used to be.

You remember when Matt

all of a sudden started wearing socks all of the time?

He still wears socks all the time when he's around us.

I don't know what he thinks we'd do to him at his age.

And-And Mary can't wear backless dresses.

And Lucy can't wear low pants,

and Simon can't wear short sleeve shirts.

Not letting them know that we know

has certainly been rewarding at times.

Why would all of our children get tattoos?

Preacher's kids?

Yeah, but other kids do it, too.

Yeah, but how many other parents have let their silence dictate

their children's clothing choices for so many years?

I hate tattoos.

Mm.

- (sighs) - (chuckles)

I love our children, all of our tattooed children.

I love Ruthie.

And I love that T Bone.

I do.

Well, now, don't be sad.

Maybe we can still have some fun with this.

You think your heart's up to it?

Absolutely.

(sighs)

Don't let me interrupt.

Just... just getting a cup of tea.

Maybe I'll just let you two talk.

No, please, don't leave.

T Bone, you know anything about the beatitudes?

No, I don't believe I do.

But I don't know anything about calculus either,

and I got a big test tomorrow, so I'm gonna say good night now.

Good night.

Fine young man, that T Bone.

Yeah.

I, uh... I know that you two

are having some kind of misunderstanding,

but we-we like him, just so you know.

I like him; I never said I didn't like him.

Well, good, then maybe the two of you can work something out.

Maybe.

Anything I can do to help that along?

Not that I know of.

It's awfully uncomfortable being in a house

with two teenagers who are... taking a break.

I know you're interested in forgiveness.

Are you also interested in forgiving?

You know, I've got a calculus test tomorrow, too,

and it's getting late.

Late? Oh, come on.

The night is young.

Okay.

Well...

What's your favorite part of the Bible?

I don't know, but the writers seemed to be

very interested in begetting.

Yes, there's certainly a lot of that--

back then and even now.

Dad, I told you,

T Bone and I aren't begetting.

I-I understand that, but sometimes it's just so difficult

to tell a parent something

if you don't think that parent will approve.

You're not trying to take my interest in religion

and use it against me, are you?

Why would I do that?

I don't know. Why are you doing that?

I just don't want you to come to religion out of fear.

And what would I be afraid of?

I don't know.

I'm not afraid of anything.

All right.

I'm not.

Hmm.

It seems... ye doth protest too much.

That guy who was supposed to kill his son?

Shakespeare.

- He was in the Bible? - Just tell me.

I don't have anything to tell you.

Do you have something to tell me?

So you found out nothing?

You know, I-I don't really want to know anything.

You know, I think we should just let it go.

If she wants to tell us, she'll tell us.

Otherwise, we might just be forcing her to lie

about whatever is going on.

- You think? - KEVIN: Yeah, or it might

force us to tell the truth.

Us?

Oh, not us--them.

You know, Ruthie and T Bone.

Them, too.

Okay, Luce, maybe you're right.

Maybe we should just let it go.

Maybe it's just one of those things that

we're not going to know.

And parents don't have to know everything about their kids,

as much as we'd like to all think that we do.

Yeah. Just one of those things.

That we're never going to know.

That we're never going to know.

Teenagers, huh?

Yeah, teenagers. Hmm.

Well, good night.

Night, Mom. Thanks for the brownies.

Oh, you're welcome.

And Luce, thanks for just being you.

You've always been such a good girl.

I love you.

Aw...

(chuckles softly)

She knows.

Knows what?

About Ruthie and T Bone.

She knows, and she's testing us

to find out if we know and if we'll tell her.

So why didn't we tell her?

Because she didn't tell us that she knows.

Maybe if she knows about them, she knows about

you and your brothers and sisters.

No, she doesn't.

We're all a lot smarter than Ruthie.

Ruthie's pretty smart.

Pretty smart?

She has a tattoo that says "T Bone."

Why is that worse than flowers across your butt?

You know... I told you I was just trying to fit in

when I moved to New York.

Yeah, fit in

with your dope-smoking, wino future in-laws.

I... I've never been cool,

and-and I just wanted to be cool.

And I thought that if I got a tattoo, I'd be cool.

I'd have it taken off,

but I'd have to go to a foreign country

or word would get out all over Glenoak.

I mean, do you think that I enjoy

hiding my backside every time I bend over

outside of this house?

Then stop hiding.

And don't put Ruthie in the same position

you and your brothers and sisters are in.

Never mind.

I'll do it. I'm going to tell your dad

what I know about Ruthie and T Bone.

I don't think so.

I think so. And I'm going to tell him you have a tattoo, too,

and so does everybody else in this family.

And if he's got a problem with that,

he's going to have to get over it,

because it's not healthy living like this.

No, no, no, no, w-wait, wait.

Don't do anything stupid.

Don't do anything you're going to regret.

I didn't.

I don't have a tattoo.

Do you know how upset Matt, Mary and Simon would be

if you told on them after all of these years?

Maybe they'll be relieved.

Or maybe they won't.

Fine, I'll just rat you out.

No, Kevin, please!

Are you crying that I might tell your dad you have a tattoo?

When you got the tattoo, didn't you know it was a mistake?

Yes.

She's in the bathroom.

How's it going?

The others, I was angry with.

They were so determined to sneak around

that I felt totally justified in what we were doing,

but Ruthie, she's...

Ruthie. I know.

(footsteps approaching)

We have something to tell you.

(door opens)

ALL: We have something to tell you.

Lucy has something to tell you.

(screams) You knew?!

I can't believe that not one of you could

just keep a stupid secret for just one week.

And the twins-- how many hours

did you spend with them making that apple before they gave in?

Don't blame them.

I'm not blaming them.

I'm blaming... everyone else.

And you're going to have to get a lot better

at this if you're going to become a minister,

because people are going to tell you their secrets.

And you can't just go running off

to everyone's sister and just spill your guts.

And you... how could you put her in that position?

How could you ask her that?

Why didn't you just ask me?

I tried.

Well, you didn't try very hard.

And you told Kevin?

Why would you do that?

I paid him.

You paid him?

20 bucks.

(chuckles)

Oh, like you're any better.

And don't even tell me

that you told me not to do it, because it's too late.

I did it.

Oh, and thanks for the info on where I could

get a tattoo when I'm underage.

There's an age?

Yeah, there is.

You're supposed to be 18.

Oh, I didn't know.

Well, maybe you should have known.

This is all my fault.

I should have been stronger.

I just--I didn't know that you were going to go...

well, crazy.

Well, I did.

And I'm not happy about it.

Now I have to live with this stupid thing

for the rest of my life.

Let go of me!

I can't.

Your sister has something she wants to tell you.

(sighs)

Not just you... Mom and Dad.

(gasps) You knew?!

You have a tattoo?

She came back from New York with it.

How did you know?

You hold your shirt down every time you bend over.

Suspicious behavior led to... suspicions confirmed.

What else do you know?

Boy, this is better than I ever...

I'm sorry.

ANNIE: What else do we know?

Well, we know that children often don't do

what you tell them to do or not to do.

And we can't always keep you from making bad decisions.

So you just let us

live with the guilt and the shame

and the fear that you'd find out?

Pretty much, yeah.

I'm sorry, did you say "us"? "Let us live"?

(clears throat)

Uh, us-- Ruthie and me.

ANNIE: Oh, okay.

I think this is all we'd like to, uh, say

on the subject of tattoos for one evening.

It's late, I'm tired, I-I want to go to bed now.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Good night. - Night.

- Night. - Good night.

- Good night. - Night.

You couldn't have told me?

You couldn't have told me?

Do you want to tell her anything else?

No, I don't.

I-I just want to go home.

Good night.

Come here. Okay.

Wait. Um...

I can't keep this.

Well, I guess we should be going, too.

Good night.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

You were right,

about the not being able to keep a secret.

I apologize.

I knew you would tell when I told you.

And I didn't really want to go to that class.

I just wanted someone around when I told Lucy.

And I wanted Lucy to tell Kevin and Mom and Dad

so that I wouldn't have to.

And I just didn't know that

the whole world was going to pitch in.

Oh.

I apologize.

I know you think that I'm still interested in Martin

and that I'm jealous of you or something,

but I'm not, I'm really not.

And I wish I could have an interest

in spiritual matters like you.

And I like you.

And I like Mac and Margaret and Jane.

And I hate this tattoo.

SANDY: Okay.

Well, just don't hate yourself.

It's hard not to.

I've been there.

And, Ruthie, everyone finds their own way in their own time

when it comes to religion.

And you're surrounded by people

who would love to talk to you about spiritual matters.

I said I wish I could have

a real interest in spiritual matters.

Right now, I don't.

I get it. I didn't mean to push.

But if you ever...

Good night.

Good night, T Bone.

I love you.

Thanks.

I love you, too.

Really?

I have to.

I have your name permanently engraved on my body.

And I have your...

My initials, hidden on your ankle.

Lucy has a tattoo?

People do crazy things when they're in love.

I can't believe she actually thought she'd

spend the rest of her life with that idiot she was engaged to.

I hope no one ever says that about me.

We're not engaged.

It's not an engagement ring.

It's a, uh...

promise to be engaged,

or something like that.

It's beautiful.

So are you.

You think there's any chance

that this whole experience with the tattoo

might catapult Ruthie into a more spiritual life?

Oh, Eric... no.

No, but now that she's not coming to it

out of fear and she's seen that no one is going to die

from a tattoo...

No. No!

Well, maybe.

Maybe someday.

Well, someday, but not right now.

Well, thanks for leaving us Matt and Mary and Simon to toy with.

Yeah, maybe if they come home more often,

we'll let them off the hook.

Hmm.

(chuckles softly)

- Good night. - Good night.