Original subtitles

* WONDER WOMAN

* WONDER WOMAN

* ALL THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR YOU *

* AND THE POWER YOU POSSESS

* IN YOUR SATIN TIGHTS

* FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHTS

* AND THE OLD RED, WHITE AND BLUE *

* WONDER WOMAN

* WONDER WOMAN

* NOW THE WORLD IS READY FOR YOU *

* AND THE WONDERS YOU CAN DO

* MAKE A HAWK A DOVE

* STOP A WAR WITH LOVE

* MAKE A LIAR TELL THE TRUTH

* WONDER WOMAN

* GET US OUT FROM UNDER

* WONDER WOMAN

* ALL OUR HOPES ARE PINNED UPON YOU *

* AND THE MAGIC THAT YOU DO

* STOP A BULLET COLD

* MAKE THE AXIS FOLD

* CHANGE THEIR MINDS

* AND CHANGE THE WORLD

* WONDER WOMAN

* WONDER WOMAN

* YOU'RE A WONDER, WONDER WOMAN *

STOP RIGHT THERE.

SECURITY AREA. "Q" CLEARANCE TO GO BY.

PROCEED.

FORT RUSSELL'S SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF OUR MOST SECURE POSTS,

BUT THEY STILL MANAGED TO GET IN SOME WAY.

WE WERE LUCKY THIS TIME NO ONE WAS KILLED,

JUST SOME DAMAGE TO THIS TUNNEL HERE.

BUT WHOEVER IT WAS STILL KNEW

JUST WHEN WE'D BE TRANSPORTING

THOSE RADAR SCANNER COMPONENTS.

"Q" SECURITY'S THE TIGHTEST WE HAVE,

YET THEY STILL SEEM TO KNOW JUST WHERE TO HIT US.

THAT UNEXPLAINED FIRE AT FORT HUGHES,

THE GAS MAIN EXPLOSION AT CAMP MACKENZIE, NOW THIS BOMBING.

ALL LINKS IN WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS A TOP-SECRET ASSEMBLY CHAIN.

PERHAPS IF WE CHANGED THE ASSEMBLY SCHEDULE.

NO, IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT.

THE SCANNER'S BEING ASSEMBLED RIGHT HERE

AT FORT RUSSELL AT 3 SEPARATE LOCATIONS.

IF THE ENEMY'S GOING TO DESTROY IT,

THEY'LL HAVE TO STRIKE BEFORE FINAL ASSEMBLY TOMORROW NIGHT.

STEVE, I KNOW THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU MUCH TIME,

BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT ENTIRE BASE

IS 100 PERCENT SECURE.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT, SIR.

SIR.

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW THEY GOT THROUGH.

SECURITY IS MY BUSINESS, MAJ. TREVOR,

AND YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE I'M GOOD AT IT.

FORT RUSSELL IS SPREAD OVER MORE THAN 100 SQUARE MILES

AND NOBODY CROSSES ONE INCH OF ITS PERIMETER

WITHOUT MY KNOWING ABOUT IT.

EXCEPT FOR THIS TIME.

A MISTAKE'S BEEN MADE, COL. FLINT, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ADMIT IT.

A FAULTY ALARM SYSTEM, A SLEEPY GUARD...

NEGATIVE.

EVERY LINK IN OUR SECURITY CHAIN WAS AND IS SOLID.

THAT SABOTEUR HAD TO BE A MAGICIAN

TO GET ONTO THESE GROUNDS UNDETECTED.

WELL, HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN INSIDE ALL ALONG.

THERE ARE 15,000 MEN STATIONED HERE.

IT'S POSSIBLE AN ENEMY AGENT COULD LOSE HIMSELF IN A CROWD

AND WAIT FOR HIS CHANCE TO STRIKE.

I'VE GOT ALL PERSONNEL VERY CAREFULLY SCREENED.

THERE'S NOT A PERSON ON THIS BASE

WHO HASN'T BEEN CLEARED FOR MILITARY PURPOSES.

[car horn honking]

[girls whooping]

DOES THAT INCLUDE THEM, COLONEL?

THEY DON'T LOOK VERY MILITARY TO ME.

YEOMAN PRINCE IS 100 PERCENT RIGHT.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING AT A TOP-SECURITY INSTALLATION?

THEY'RE BOOSTING MORALE, MAJOR.

THE GIRLS ARE ALL FINALISTS

IN THE MISS G.I. DREAM GIRL BEAUTY CONTEST.

OH, THEY ARE CERTAINLY BEAUTIFUL.

(Flint) YES, IT'S GONNA BE TOUGH PICKING THE WINNER.

THE FINALS ARE HERE TOMORROW AT THE OFFICERS' CLUB.

THAT'S THE BEST PLACE TO HOLD IT.

OFFICERS AND ENLISTED MEN ALL ARE INVITED.

[soldiers chattering]

HERE THEY ARE, BOYS.

ALL THE LITTLE CUTIES, THEY'RE HERE FOR YOU.

NOW, YOU CAN LOOK AT THEM, BUT DON'T TOUCH 'EM.

THAT'S JACK WOOD.

WHO?

ONLY AMERICA'S FAVORITE RADIO COMIC.

HE'S DOING HIS SHOW HERE TOMORROW.

EMCEEING THE BEAUTY CONTEST FINALS

ON A COAST-TO-COAST BROADCAST.

LISTEN, IF YOU GUYS STILL THINK

THAT YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR MOM'S APPLE PIE, SEE THE CHAPLAIN.

AND GO EASY ON HIM.

HE'S ALWAYS LOOKIN' FOR MIRACLES.

[soldiers laughing]

COME ON, THEY'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU GUYS.

[soldiers whistling]

[soldiers cheering]

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH, GIRLS.

COME ON, IT'S REHEARSAL TIME. LET'S GO, GIRLS.

SEE YOU LATER, BOYS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

THEY-- THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOU.

DO YOU THINK IT'S WISE, COLONEL, GIVING, UH, CIVILIANS THE RUN OF THE BASE?

JACK WOOD ISN'T JUST A CIVILIAN.

HE'S AN INSTITUTION, LIKE BOB HOPE OR BABE RUTH.

BESIDES, HIS ITINERARY'S BEEN CLEARED BY WASHINGTON.

LAST WEEK HE RAN A PRELIMINARY CONTEST AT FORT HUGHES,

4 DAYS AFTER THAT, HE DID THE SAME AT CAMP MACKENZIE,

AND NOW HE'S HERE FOR THE FINALS

AND, BELIEVE ME, WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE HIM.

FIRST FORT HUGHES, THEN CAMP MACKENZIE, AND NOW FORT--

I PRESUME, COLONEL,

THAT YOU'VE, UH, PREPARED DOSSIERS ON MR. WOOD AND HIS TROUPE.

I'D LIKE TO SEE THEM, IF I MAY.

YES, OF COURSE, I'LL GET THEM READY FOR YOU.

FINE. I'LL MEET YOU IN YOUR OFFICE.

YES, I NOTICED IT, TOO, DIANA.

THEY PLAYED EVERY STOP ON THE SABOTAGE CIRCUIT.

IT'D MAKE A GREAT COVER FOR AN ENEMY OPERATION.

PERHAPS IF WE COULD GET ONE OF OUR OWN AGENTS

INTO THAT BEAUTY CONTEST.

MIGHT FLUSH 'EM OUT.

TAKE A REALLY BEAUTIFUL GIRL, THOUGH,

SOMEONE WITH ALL THE RIGHT QUALIFICATIONS.

WELL, I'D BE WILLING TO TRY.

THANKS, DIANA, I KNOW YOU'D DO A WONDERFUL JOB,

BUT I'M AFRAID THIS CALLS FOR A REALLY GORGEOUS GIRL.

SOMEONE WHO LOOKS GREAT IN A BATHING SUIT.

SAY, I WON'T BE NEEDING YOU FOR A WHILE,

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO DO?

WELL, I COULD DO SOME SHOPPING AT THE P.X.

AND JUST TAKE A BUS BACK TO WASHINGTON.

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

THAT'S FINE.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS. LET'S TRY IT FOR REAL THIS TIME.

MONTY, 1, 2, 3, 4.

*[playing]

LOWER THE STARS. THE STARS.

ALL TOGETHER, PLEASE. EXCELLENT.

RIGHT.

AND RIGHT.

AND RIGHT.

VERY GOOD.

GOOD. AND FORWARD.

AND FORWARD.

AND UP STAGE.

MONTY, MONTY, HOLD IT.

SOMEBODY MADE A MISTAKE.

OH, COME ON.

[girls sighing]

ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME.

FROM THE TOP.

1, 2, 3, 4.

[piano stops]

MITZIE.

MITZIE.

MITZIE.

YES?

THERE ARE NO TURNS IN THIS NUMBER.

OH, I'M SORRY, I--I--I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WEREN'T ANY TURNS.

SORRY--

YOU'RE JUST TRYING TOO HARD, DARLING.

WELL, AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO SMILE.

IS THAT WHAT THAT IS?

I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING YOU ATE.

RITA--

[girls chattering]

WILL YOU STOP IT? WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?

WELL, SHE STARTED IT.

NOW LET'S TRY IT AGAIN. AND STOP TRYING TO BEHAVE LIKE A HERD OF SHEEP.

CAN WE TAKE FROM THE TOP, PLEASE, LOLA?

OH, I'M TRYING, MONTY.

I'M TRYING.

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, FROM THE TOP.

1, 2, 3, 4.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I'D LIKE TO FIND OUT

ABOUT THE MISS G.I. DREAM GIRL CONTEST.

YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE, DEAR.

BESIDES, THERE ARE NO MORE OPENINGS.

I NEVER HEARD OF THAT. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

LISTEN, I'M LOLA FLYNN.

AND I'M RUNNING THIS CONTEST FOR JACK WOOD,

AND, HONEY, WE SURE COULD USE YOU. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

DIANA. DIANA PARADISE.

AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE IN YOUR CONTEST.

(Rita) IT ISN'T FAIR TO THE OTHER GIRLS.

WE LIKE THINGS THE WAY THEY ARE.

I AGREE WITH HER. BESIDES, WE DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT HER.

WHAT'S TO KNOW?

SHE WANTS TO ENTER A BEAUTY CONTEST, NOT MEDICAL SCHOOL.

I THINK WE OUGHT TO GRAB HER.

ARE YOU WORKING HERE ON THE BASE?

YES, I AM JUST NOW.

WELL, THAT WORKS FINE

BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE TO BE CONFINED

WITH ALL THE REST OF THE GIRLS TO QUARTERS.

SOME DUMB REGULATION THAT HAS TO DO WITH SECURITY OR SOMETHING.

I STILL DON'T THINK WE SHOULD UPSET THE OTHER CONTESTANTS

FOR THE SAKE OF A LATE ARRIVAL.

I AGREE.

(girls) WHY SHOULD SHE GO OFF.

(Jack) HEY, BREAK IT UP!

BREAK IT UP!

LISTEN, WE GOT A SLEW OF TIRED G.I.s

COMING HERE TOMORROW NIGHT TO LOOK AT GIRLS.

DEPRIVING THEM OF THIS BABY DOLL WOULD BE UNPATRIOTIC.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF, SUGAR.

NEVER MIND THE DULL STUFF, GET RIGHT TO YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

BUT, JACK, ALL OF US HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD

ON OUR ROUTINES FOR THE TALENT PART OF THE CONTEST.

IF SHE'S NOT PREPARED, SHE'LL MAKE US LOOK BAD.

OH.

THE DRAGON LADY'S GOT A POINT.

CAN YOU SING, OR DANCE OR PLAY A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT?

YES. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO FOR YOU FIRST?

[girls laughing]

IF I ANSWER THAT QUESTION, THE DRAFT BOARD WILL SAY

THAT I'M YOUNG ENOUGH TO FIGHT.

HOW ABOUT SOME HOOFING?

MAKE WITH THE EIGHTY-EIGHTS, PROFESSOR.

1, 2, 3, 4.

*[playing]

[girls applauding]

ALL RIGHT.

SIGN HER UP. I'VE GOT TO GO FOR NOW, GIRLS.

I'VE GOT A GOLF DATE WITH MY FAVORITE BRASS HAT, COL. FLINT.

HIS SECURITY STAFF ARE THE ONES THAT ARE GOING TO PROTECT YOU GIRLS

FROM ALL THE LOVE-STARVED SOLDIERS HERE AT FORT RUSSELL.

(girls) BOO!

BYE, GIRLS.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY TAKE 5.

WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK BEFORE TOMORROW, DIANA.

HOW SOON CAN YOU START?

THIS AFTERNOON, IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU.

I HAVE A FEW THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF FIRST.

FINE. HOW ABOUT 3:00?

THAT'S FINE. THANK YOU.

DIANA? YES?

HUH, I WAS GOING TO WISH YOU LUCK,

BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.

YOU REMIND ME, KIND OF, OF MYSELF, A FEW CENTURIES AGO.

IT'S UNFAIR TO JUDGE YOURSELF BY THE CRITERION OF AGE.

A VITAL, INTELLIGENT WOMAN IS MUCH MORE

THAN THE SUM OF HER BIRTHDAYS.

YEAH, WELL, HUH, MAYBE IT'LL BE THAT WAY FOR YOU,

BUT FOR ME, MY HIGH POINT WAS WHEN I WAS 19

AND I WAS MISS AMERICAN BEAUTY.

FROM THEN ON, IT WAS DOWNHILL ALL THE WAY.

REMEMBER, 3:00.

HI.

YOU KIND OF LIKE HER, DON'T YOU?

YES.

I THINK SHE ISN'T AS HARD AS SHE WOULD LIKE TO BE.

GOOD. IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.

BUT THERE'S ONLY GOING TO BE ONE WINNER IN THIS CONTEST,

AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT HER.

I THOUGHT THE JUDGES WERE GOING TO MAKE THAT DECISION.

JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY, SWEETHEART.

I'M GOING TO BE MISS G.I. DREAM GIRL

AND BE IN JACK'S NEXT MOVIE,

AND ANYBODY WHO TRIES TO STOP ME BETTER WATCH HER STEP.

SO, AS YOU CAN SEE, MAJOR,

EVERYONE'S BEEN CHECKED AND DOUBLE-CHECKED.

MAYBE, BUT I'M STILL GOING TO STAY

WITH THE INSIDE JOB THEORY A LITTLE LONGER.

WE'LL BE IN TOUCH.

[car engine starting]

[tires screeching]

[crashing]

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

THANKS, WONDER WOMAN.

THEY DON'T SEEM TOO DANGEROUS NOW, DO THEY?

ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO FIND OUT

HOW YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN I NEED YOU.

[laughs]

LET'S FIND OUT WHAT THEY KNOW.

ABOUT THE SABOTAGE RING.

THEY'RE PROBABLY PART OF IT.

WHOEVER'S TRYING TO DESTROY THAT RADAR SCANNER

DOESN'T WANT MY INVESTIGATION TO GO TOO FAR.

ALL RIGHT, OUT. BOTH OF YOU.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS SCANNER--

WAIT! THEY WON'T GO FAR.

WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S A LITTLE DINKY ROPE, BUT--BUT I CAN'T MOVE.

NO ONE CAN RESIST THE GOLDEN LASSO.

IT BINDS ALL WHO IT ENCIRCLES

AND COMPELS THEM TO TELL THE TRUTH.

I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER TIME

TO ASK OUR FRIENDS A FEW QUESTIONS.

WHO'S YOUR SUPERIOR IN THE ATTEMPTS ON THE SCANNER PROJECT?

HEY, LOOK, WE NEVER HEARD OF YOUR PROJECT, WHATCHAMACALLIT.

WE WERE PAID TO HIT MAJ. STEVE TREVOR.

$500, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

BUT YOU HAD TO GET THE MONEY AND YOUR ASSIGNMENT FROM SOMEONE.

WHO WAS THAT PERSON?

NOBODY. A PHONE CALL GAVE US THE JOB.

THE MONEY AND THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE IN A LOCKER AT THE RAILROAD STATION.

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE.

SO THE REAL SABOTEUR

HIRED SOME CHEAP MUSCLE TO GET ME OUT OF THE WAY.

HE MUST KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HIM.

AND HE'S GETTING NERVOUS.

STEVE, HE MIGHT MAKE ANOTHER ATTEMPT ON YOUR LIFE.

I DON'T THINK HE'D RISK, UH, GIVING HIMSELF AWAY TO GET ME A 2ND TIME.

HE'S AFTER THE SCANNER PROJECT, AND I'VE GOT TO GET AFTER HIM

AS SOON AS I DROP THESE 2 HOODS AT THE POLICE STATION.

ALL RIGHT, GET IN THE CAR, YOU DRIVE.

MAJOR, WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE YOUR CAR?

I WONDER IF YOU CAN COOK.

IN THE CAR.

IN THE FRONT SEAT.

STEVE.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

I'D LIKE TO BE, THERE JUST ISN'T TIME.

[engine starting]

OK, THANKS.

I WAS RIGHT.

THERE'S NO DIANA PARADISE WORKING ANYWHERE ON THIS BASE. SHE'S A PHONY.

SO SHE MADE UP A FAKE STORY TO ENTER A BIG-TIME BEAUTY CONTEST.

I DID THE SAME THING WHEN I WAS A KID ON THE MAKE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I NEVER WORRY, LOLA.

IF SHE'S INTERESTED IN MORE THAN

JUST THE BEAUTY CONTEST, IT'S TOO BAD.

SHE'S HAD IT.

ETTA, THIS ISN'T AS EASY AS IT LOOKS IN THE MOVIES.

THAT'S BETTER, CHIN UP, BACK STRAIGHT.

BETTER?

DIANA?

IS THAT REALLY YOU?

(Etta) YEAH, ISN'T IT AMAZING?

IF I THOUGHT A WIG WOULD DO THAT FOR ME, I'D SHAVE MY HEAD.

WELL, THE TRANSFORMATION'S INCREDIBLE. BUT WHY?

WELL, I'VE ENTERED THE MISS G.I. DREAM GIRL CONTEST.

THAT'S WONDERFUL.

I'M USING THE NAME DIANA PARADISE

SO THAT NO ONE CAN TRACE ME TO MILITARY INTELLIGENCE.

OH!

EXCUSE ME.

DIANA, I THINK IT'S GREAT THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS.

IT SHOWS A LOT OF INITIATIVE.

I WANT YOU TO GO BACK TO FORT RUSSELL AND KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.

I'M GOING TO TRY AND GET A FOCUS ON THIS OPERATION.

IF I HAVE ANYTHING, I'LL CALL YOU.

I'LL SAY I'M YOUR, UH, UNCLE GEORGE. CLEAR?

YES, SIR. UNCLE GEORGE. MMM-HMM.

I'D BETTER GET BACK TO THE BASE NOW BECAUSE I'M EXPECTED BY 3:00.

OH, I'LL DRIVE YOU.

THANK YOU.

OH, DIANA?

YES, SIR?

IT'S FUNNY, BUT SEEING YOU IN THAT DRESS

MAKES ME REALIZE YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY.

WHO?

JOAN CRAWFORD.

WELL, I'M VERY FLATTERED, SIR.

AROUND THE ANKLES.

THANKS.

[shower running]

DON'T TELL ME SHE'S STILL IN THERE.

SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

OH, COME ON.

RITA, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

WE'RE ALL WAITING TO GET IN THE SHOWER.

IT TAKES HER LONGER, BECAUSE SHE'S DIRTIER THAN THE REST OF US.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SMILE FOR THE JUDGES WITH NO FRONT TEETH?

[girls screaming]

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, BREAK IT UP.

BREAK IT UP.

LOOK, NOBODY'S GOING TO BE MISS DREAM GIRL

WITH A BLACK EYE AND A FAT LIP.

NOW, MOST YOU KIDS SEEM OK, SO IF RITA OR SOMEBODY ACTS UP,

JUST DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.

BUT SHE'S ALWAYS PICKIN' ON ME.

LOOK, WE JUST WANTED TO WASH UP, AND GET A LITTLE BEAUTY SLEEP.

IF SLEEP MAKES ONE BEAUTIFUL,

THEN ALL OF YOU MUST HAVE HAD INSOMNIA FOR YEARS.

[all yelling]

ONE MORE DAY.

DIANA, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE ACCOMMODATIONS,

BUT YOU GOT HERE TOO LATE FOR ONE OF THE CHOICE BUNKS.

OH, THIS WILL BE QUITE COMFORTABLE, I'M SURE, MISS FLYNN.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE KID.

I THINK I OUGHT TO WARN YOU.

WARN ME ABOUT WHAT?

WELL, THERE'S A LOT MORE AT STAKE HERE

THAN JUST A BEAUTY CONTEST FOR SOME PEOPLE.

(Jack) DON'T PANIC, GIRLS.

I JUST CAME HERE TO TUCK YOU IN.

NOW, LOOK, IF ANY OF YOU GIRLS GET THIRSTY DURING THE NIGHT, I JUST...

YES, GO ON.

JUST DO AS YOU'RE TOLD AND BE CAREFUL.

EXTRA CAREFUL.

(Jack) YOU DO EXACTLY WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO, ALL RIGHT?

[girls chattering]

[girls laughing]

LISTEN, ARE THEY TREATING YOU GIRLS ALL RIGHT?

(all) OH, YEAH!

OH, NUTS!

AND I WORE A RUBBER SHIRT SO THAT YOU COULD CRY ON MY SHOULDER.

THERE'S A FEW PERSONAL THINGS

I'D LIKE TO GO OVER WITH YOU. UH, IT WON'T TAKE LONG.

THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF, HONEY.

NOW, LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO GET TO KNOW YOU GIRLS BETTER, BUT IF I DO,

A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL SAY I'M LOW AND CORRUPTIBLE ENOUGH

TO TRADE MY VOTE AS A CONTEST JUDGE FOR A LITTLE SMOOCHING.

[girls laughing]

AND THEY'RE RIGHT.

FRONT AND CENTER! DIANA.

WELL, WELL, WELL. HOW'S IT GOING?

FINE, MR. WOOD,

AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU ENOUGH

FOR ALLOWING ME TO BECOME A CONTESTANT.

WELL, I DO. MEET ME TONIGHT ON THE FIRING RANGE AT 12:00.

BRING AN EVENING GOWN AND SOME BANANAS

BECAUSE, WHEN I MONKEY AROUND I USE REAL MONKEYS.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WORKED WITH ANIMALS.

ARE YOU KIDDING? DIDN'T YOU EVER SEE MY BAND?

OH, BOY! YOU KNOW, EVEN WITH ALL THESE CURVES,

THIS KID WOULD MAKE A GREAT STRAIGHT MAN.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHY DON'T I USE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT IN THE MAGIC PIT?

(girls) YEAH!

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. WAIT A MINUTE,

LET ME GET SOME OF MY LITTLE MAGIC PROPS HERE

AND WE'RE GONNA WORK THIS OUT.

NOW, YOU DO EXACTLY WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO, ALL RIGHT?

JUST FOLLOW ME, AND HANG LOOSE.

LITTLE MAGIC MUSIC, PLEASE.

NOW, HERE'S WHAT WE DO. WATCH CLOSELY. THERE'S THE AUDIENCE.

HELLO, HOW ARE YOU? HERE'S MY PRETTY ASSISTANT.

NOW, YOU HOLD THIS, LIKE THIS. I TAKE THIS OUT

AND I SHOW IT TO THE AUDIENCE, RIGHT?

THERE THEY ARE. THEY ALL CAN SEE IT'S COMPLETELY EMPTY.

I PUT IN HERE, LIKE THIS, RIGHT.

YOU PUT THE TOP DOWN ON TOP OF THE TABLE.

VERY GOOD. I PUT IT HERE LIKE THIS,

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, ABRACADABRA AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?

[girls cheering]

OH, LOOK AT THIS, SHE'S A NATURAL.

[girls cheering]

TELL WARDROBE TO DRESS HER IN AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE.

RIGHT, JACK.

ALL RIGHT, GOOD NIGHT, GIRLS.

I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS.

(girls) GOOD NIGHT, JACK.

[phone ringing]

THAT MAGIC BIT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE.

I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF MY WAY,

AND THE FIRST CHANCE YOU GET YOU COZY UP TO THE STAR.

OH, THAT NEVER ENTERED MY MIND, RITA.

NO? NO.

WELL, LET'S SEE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS ENTERING YOUR NOSE!

[screaming]

RITA, KNOCK IT OFF OR YOU'RE OUT OF THE CONTEST.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M FINE, THANK YOU.

DIANA, THERE'S A PHONE FOR YOU.

IT'S YOUR UNCLE GEORGE.

THANK YOU, MISS FLYNN.

DIANA, NO MORE PERSONAL CALLS.

IT'S IN THE RULES.

YES, MA'AM.

HELLO? UNCLE GEORGE?

JUST LISTEN, DIANA.

I'VE BEEN DOING SOME CHECKING, AND THE BLAST AT THE TUNNEL

WASN'T THE FIRST ATTEMPT ON THE SCANNER PROJECT.

THE OTHER ATTEMPT MISSED, TOO.

DAMAGED A BASE ACCESS ROAD.

BUT IT LOOKED LIKE AN ACCIDENT, SO NOBODY REPORTED IT.

OH, I SEE, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING, UNCLE GEORGE,

BUT, UH, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANTED TO TELL ME?

YOU SEE, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY MORE PERSONAL CALLS.

IT'S IN THE RULES.

I UNDERSTAND, SO I'LL MAKE IT FAST.

THE 3RD AND FINAL RADAR COMPONENT WILL BE COMPLETED

AT THE FORT'S ELECTRICAL SUB-STATION AT 0100 HOURS TONIGHT.

(Steve) IT'S LOCATED DIRECTLY BEHIND THE MOTOR POOL.

NOW, THE SABOTEUR HAS TO TRY FOR IT, AND I'LL BE WAITING FOR HIM.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS WATCH FOR ANY ACTIVITY IN THE JACK WOOD'S GROUP

THAT MIGHT CLUE US IN TO THE SABOTEUR'S IDENTITY.

OK?

GOOD HUNTING.

OH, SAME TO YOU, UNCLE GEORGE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT GAME YOU'RE PLAYING, SWEETHEART,

BUT WHATEVER IT IS, LITTLE RITA'S GOING TO FIND OUT ALL ABOUT IT.

EXCUSE ME, RITA.

[ticking]

STEVE.

STEVE.

OH, MY HEAD.

THE SCANNER, THEY DIDN'T GET IT, DID THEY?

NO, SOME ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT'S BEEN DESTROYED

AND SOMEONE'S GONNA HAVE TO ACCOUNT FOR A MISSING TAILGATE,

BUT THE PROJECT'S ALL RIGHT.

HOW ARE YOU?

OH, I'M OK.

[siren wailing]

THE GUARDS ARE COMING. I BETTER GO.

BUT, WONDER WOMAN, I... OH.

WHO WAS THAT MAN OVER THERE?

ALL RIGHT, I'M SURE EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL. JUST GO BACK TO BED

AND LEAVE WHATEVER'S HAPPENING OUTSIDE TO THE ARMY.

MAYBE WHAT'S HAPPENING WAS CAUSED

BY SOMEONE WHO SHOULDN'T BE OUTSIDE.

[girls gasping]

DIANA'S MISSING.

WELL, DIANA KNOWS THE RULES.

I'M SURE SHE'S NOT GONE.

THEN A SEARCH WILL TURN HER UP, RIGHT?

(Rita) I TOLD YOU SHE TOOK OFF.

SHE KNOWS THE RULES, AND SHE'S OUT OF THE CONTEST.

WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE?

DIANA, I KNEW YOU WERE SOMEPLACE.

I JUST NEVER THOUGHT OF THE SHOWER.

IT WAS HOT AND I COULDN'T SLEEP.

WHAT ABOUT THIS? I FOUND IT ON YOUR PILLOW.

THAT'S THE ONLY THING FALSE ABOUT HER, RITA.

CAN YOU SAY THE SAME?

[girls giggling]

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY BACK TO SLEEP.

IT'S GOING TO BE A BIG DAY TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT, AGAIN.

[gasps]

DON'T TURN THE LIGHT ON.

WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE? IT SOUNDS LIKE A WAR.

AN UNEXPECTED VISIT FROM WONDER WOMAN.

WHAT'S MORE, OUR LATE ARRIVAL, DIANA PARADISE?

SHE'S UP TO SOMETHING.

DIANA? ARE YOU SURE?

WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW YET, BUT I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED.

WELL, I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY, LOLA.

YOU SEE, OUR PRIMARY PURPOSE WAS NOT TO SABOTAGE THE RADAR PROJECT.

IT WAS JUST A COVER TO ENSURE THE SUCCESS OF OUR REAL MISSION.

MY DEAR, WE'RE GOING TO ASSASSINATE A VERY IMPORTANT GENERAL

NAMED DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER.

(Captain) I HOPE GEN. EISENHOWER UNDERSTANDS

ABOUT WHY WE HAD TO CHANGE THE DEPARTURE TIME.

I INFORMED THE GENERAL

OF THE BOTCHED SABOTAGE ATTEMPTS AT FORT RUSSELL.

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER APPROACH ROUTE THAT'S A LITTLE LONGER.

JUST AS LONG AS THE GENERAL HAS TIME TO CHECK OUT THAT SPECIAL PROJECT

BEFORE IT'S SENT ON TO NEW YORK.

HE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT.

AND YOU ALSO GET A BONUS.

YOU'LL BE ABLE TO CATCH THE FINALS OF THE MISS DREAM GIRL CONTEST.

JACK WOOD'S BROADCASTING IT FROM FORT RUSSELL.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. THAT'S GOOD FOR THE SOLDIERS' MORALE.

GOOD FOR THE, UH, OFFICERS' MORALE, AS WELL.

(Steve) SABOTAGE TRY 1: CLOSED AN ACCESS ROAD.

2: SHUT DOWN THE TUNNEL.

AND 3: LAST NIGHT, BLEW UP PART OF THE ELECTRICAL SYSTEM

THAT SERVICES THE FORT'S AUXILIARY AIRFIELD.

AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T WRECK THE RADAR SCANNER, SIR.

THAT'S THE IMPORTANT THING.

IS IT?

HOW CAN AN ENEMY AGENT CLEVER ENOUGH TO PENETRATE OUR DEFENSES

MISS HIS TARGET 3 TIMES OUT OF 3?

GOOD NEWS, STEVE. WE'VE WON.

THE RADAR SCANNER'S COMPLETED.

THE COMPONENTS ARE BEING ASSEMBLED RIGHT NOW,

SO THE DEVICE WILL BE OPERATIONAL

IN TIME FOR HIS PERSONAL INSPECTION.

WHOSE INSPECTION, SIR?

A GENERAL OFFICER THE WAR DEPARTMENT IS VERY HIGH ON,

NAME OF EISENHOWER.

SORRY TO KEEP YOU IN THE DARK ABOUT THAT, STEVE,

BUT HE'S INVOLVED IN SOME VERY TOP-LEVEL STUFF.

WE CONSIDERED HIS TRAVEL PLANS SO IMPORTANT,

NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW.

JUST LIKE THE RADAR SCANNER.

BUT THE ENEMY STILL KNEW ABOUT IT.

GENERAL,

WHAT ROUTE IS EISENHOWER TAKING TO FORT RUSSELL?

HIS ROUTE?

YEAH.

WELL, ORIGINALLY, HE WAS SCHEDULED TO STOP AT FORT HUGHES

FOR A SPECIAL DEBRIEFING SESSION

WITH A SPECIAL FORCES OFFICER FROM CAMP MACKENZIE.

CANCELLED BECAUSE OF ACCIDENTS

AT BOTH OF THOSE INSTALLATIONS.

A FIRE AT HUGHES, A GAS MAIN BLOW-UP AT MACKENZIE.

SO EISENHOWER IS FORCED TO COME DIRECTLY TO FORT RUSSELL.

I REPEAT, SIR, BY WHAT ROUTE?

A PLANE FROM RANDOLPH FIELD TO THE FORT'S AUXILIARY LANDING STRIP--

CLOSED BY SABOTAGE TO THE ELECTRICAL SYSTEM.

THEN SOUTH ON THE ACCESS ROAD THROUGH THE SERVICE TUNNEL.

BUT, SIR, THE ROAD AND THE TUNNEL WERE CLOSED BY SABOTAGE, TOO.

LEAVING THE ONLY ROUTE INTO FORT RUSSELL,

A LANDING AT THIS CIVILIAN AIRSTRIP WEST OF THE PERIMETER

AND THE FIRE ROAD BEHIND THE OLD ARTILLERY RANGE

ENTERING THE BASE AT

POINT LOBO.

A PERFECT PLACE FOR AN AMBUSH.

GOOD LORD.

IT WASN'T THE RADAR SCANNER THE SABOTEURS WERE AFTER.

THEY WERE CREATING A FUNNEL THROUGH WHICH

EISENHOWER HAD TO ENTER THE FORT.

ETTA, CALL DIANA AT THE OFFICERS' CLUB THEATER.

SAY THAT UNCLE GEORGE HAS AN URGENT MESSAGE FOR HER, AND TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED.

WE'LL ALERT POINT LOBO AND THE FORT

BY CAR RADIO ON OUR WAY TO EISENHOWER'S LANDING SITE.

WE'VE GOT TO TRY AND HEAD HIM OFF.

COMMUNICATIONS?

GEN. BLANKENSHIP'S PRIORITY CLEARANCE.

I HAVE TO PLACE A CALL TO THE THEATER AT FORT RUSSELL RIGHT AWAY.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING,

I JUST FEEL THERE'S SOMETHING JUST NOT RIGHT ABOUT DIANA PARADISE.

WE HAVE A BEAUTY CONTEST,

AND SHE'S THE BEST LOOKING GIRL AROUND. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

SHE'S JUST NOT INTERESTED IN SOME DUMB BEAUTY CONTEST.

IF THAT'S THE WAY IT IS, THAT'LL BE THE END OF HER.

MONTY, I'VE TOLD YOU, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU TALKING THAT WAY ANYMORE.

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE COSTUMES.

THEY ALL LOOK FINE.

BETTER HURRY AND GET INTO YOUR BATHING SUITS.

THAT COSTUME SHOULD BE MINE.

IT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK RIGHT ON HER.

RITA, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT.

THEY'RE LINED UP OUTSIDE, AND JACK'S GONNA DO HIS WARM UP IN 20 MINUTES.

WELL, COME ON, GIRLS, LET'S GET GOING.

[ringing]

OFFICERS' CLUB THEATER.

DIANA PARADISE? HOLD ON.

[girls murmuring]

HELLO?

HELLO?

OPERATOR, WE'VE BEEN CUT OFF.

THE CALL WAS FOR ME, MY UNCLE GEORGE.

UH, NO PERSONAL CALLS, MISS PARADISE.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

WELL, WHATEVER YOU SAY, MR. BURNS.

HEY, FELLA, WOULD YOU LOWER THE P.A.?

WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE FEEDBACK ON THE SPEAKERS.

(man) WATCH IT, THIS THING WEIGHS A TON.

IF IT EVER CAME DOWN, SOMEBODY COULD GET KILLED.

[voice echoing] SOMEBODY COULD GET KILLED.

SOMEBODY COULD GET KILLED.

SOMEBODY COULD GET KILLED.

(Blankenship) IT'S NO USE, STEVE. WE STILL HAVE 15 MILES TO GO.

EISENHOWER'S PLANE IS MAINTAINING RADIO SILENCE.

(Steve) THEN WE JUST GOT TO REACH HIM

BEFORE HE STARTS FOR POINT LOBO.

BLANKENSHIP, HERE.

GENERAL, IT'S ETTA. I CAN'T REACH DIANA.

THEY'RE NOT ANSWERING THE PHONE.

(Steve) GET AN M.P. TO GET YOU TO THEATER.

TELL HER IN PERSON, FAST!

YES, SIR, BUT IT'LL BE TOO LATE FOR DIANA TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING

AND SHE'LL BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND GEN. EISENHOWER.

OH, SIR, I KNOW THIS ISN'T VERY MILITARY,

BUT I HATE A CRISIS SITUATION.

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, ETTA.

YES, SIR.

OVER AND OUT.

(Blankenship) STEP ON IT, STEVE.

OK, FELLA. TAKE IT UP, WILL YOU? THAT'S IT.

THE PLACE IS FILLING UP WITH SOLDIERS.

MONTY, WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT DIANA...

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING, ARE YOU?

DON'T WORRY.

IT'LL BE OVER QUICKLY.

I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

THAT'S GOT TO BE STOPPED, NOW.

THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE, LOLA DEAR.

FIRST, BECAUSE YOU'RE IN THIS UP TO YOUR FAST WRINKLING NECK

AND, SECOND, BECAUSE IT'S TOO LATE.

IT'S ALREADY STARTED.

MY MEN ARE IN POSITION BY NOW.

[hissing]

(Jack) THE MAIN ATTRACTION, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

FOR YOUR PLEASURE AND FOR MINE,

YOUR MISS G.I. DREAM GIRL.

[audience whistling]

[audience cheering]

* HERE COME YOUR DREAM GIRLS *

* EACH ONE A PEARL

* CHARMING AND BEAUTIFUL

* AN ALL-AMERICAN GIRL

* HOW CAN YOU PICK ONE

* WHEN EACH LITTLE MISS JUST CAN'T MISS? *

* HERE'S TO OUR DREAM GIRLS

* AN ALL-AMERICAN KISS

[audience cheering]

* HOW CAN YOU PICK ONE

* WHEN EACH LITTLE MISS JUST CAN'T MISS? *

* HERE'S TO OUR DREAM GIRLS *

* AN ALL-AMERICAN KISS *

AREN'T THEY LOVELY?

THEY'RE ALL DREAM GIRLS, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM.

[plane engine whirring]

(Steve) HIS PLANE'S ALREADY LANDED.

MAYBE HE'S STILL HERE.

[inaudible]

WE JUST MISSED HIM. HE CAN'T BE THAT FAR AHEAD OF US.

I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO LATE. IF POINT LOBO DOESN'T RESPOND TO OUR CALLS,

THAT TRAP COULD BE SET ALREADY.

[engine starting]

[audience cheering]

YES, SIR. AND THAT'S SOMETHING THEY'LL NEVER REPLACE WITH SYNTHETICS.

ISN'T SHE WONDERFUL?

THE GIRLS ARE GOING TO SHOW THE JUDGES

THAT THEY'VE GOT SOMETHING GOING FOR THEM BESIDES BEAUTY: ME!

[audience booing]

BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, THIS IS THE TALENT PORTION OF OUR COMPETITION,

AND OUR NEXT CONTESTANT, DIRECT FROM NEW YORK CITY,

THE VERY LOVELY, VIVACIOUS MISS BETTY LOU CAPALETTI

IN HER OWN FANTASY IN DANCE!

LET'S HEAR IT FOR BETTY LOU!

[audience whooping]

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

I'VE GOT TO SEE DIANA PARADISE.

IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH.

SORRY, BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT TILL AFTER THE SHOW.

I SAID, AFTER THE SHOW.

EXCUSE ME.

MISS FLYNN, I CAN'T FIND MY COSTUME FOR THE NUMBER WITH MR. WOOD.

IT'S NOT IN MY WARDROBE LOCKER.

IT'S GOT TO BE. YOU JUST HAD IT ON AT DRESS REHEARSAL.

I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO SAY IT,

BUT WHERE IS RITA RIGHT THIS MINUTE?

I MEAN, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO CHANGE UNTIL NEXT TO LAST.

[audience whooping]

HOW ABOUT THAT FOR A DOUBLE-JOINTED BABY DOLL?

HONEY, FOLD YOURSELF UP AND WAIT FOR ME IN MY GLOVE COMPARTMENT.

[audience laughing]

AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S MY TURN.

NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO GET TO YOU WITH BEAUTY,

BUT I'VE STILL GOT A COUPLE OF THINGS GOING FOR ME.

THIS IS ONE OF THEM, AND THIS IS THE OTHER.

HERE I AM, MR. WOOD.

[audience cheering]

IT IS RITA. SHE'S TAKEN MY PLACE.

[creaking]

I MAY AS WELL GET READY FOR THE EVENING GOWN PARADE.

MOTTY, YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS. YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.

LOLA, YOU LEAVE ME WITH NO ALTERNATIVE.

SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO GET RID OF YOU, MY DEAR?

[laughing]

[audience cheering]

YOU CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR BIG FINISH, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? THE--THE JACK WOOD SHOW SPARES NO EXPENSE.

NICE TO SEE YOU, WONDER WOMAN, BUT I'M SORRY, I DO A SINGLE.

MR. WOOD, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT

THAT NO ONE LEAVE THIS THEATER.

I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH YOU, DOLL.

WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT,

THAT THIS IS BETTER THAN YOUR ARMY TRAINING FILMS ON ATHLETE'S FOOT.

[engine starting]

OH, WONDER WOMAN, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I HAVE TO FIND DIANA TO TELL HER WHAT'S HAPPENED, BUT SHE ISN'T HERE.

WHAT HAPPENED? OH, IT'S TERRIBLE.

IS IT STEVE? MAJ. TREVOR?

YES. NO. IT'S PARTLY HIM.

MOSTLY IT'S ABOUT GEN. EISENHOWER.

THE SABOTAGE WAS JUST A TRICK TO HIDE AN ATTEMPT ON HIS LIFE.

STEVE'S TRYING TO HEAD HIM OFF NOW ON THE ROAD TO POINT LOBO.

IT'S EISENHOWER ALL RIGHT.

HE'S NOT ALONE.

THERE'S A CAR FOLLOWING HIM.

WE'RE BEING TAILED, SIR.

I'LL TRY TO OUTRUN THEM.

THEY'RE MAKING A RUN FOR IT.

THEY DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE.

[car horn honking rhythmically]

THAT'S MORSE CODE, GENERAL.

T-R-E-V-O-R!

STOP THE CAR.

SORRY TO SHOW UP THIS WAY, GENERAL,

BUT YOU'RE HEADING INTO AN AMBUSH.

YOU WERE FUNNELED ONTO THIS ROAD BY SABOTAGE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO TURN BACK AT ONCE.

[explosion]

OUT OF THE CAR, GENERAL.

[guns firing]

WE CAN HOLD OUR OWN FROM THIS POSITION

AS LONG AS OUR AMMUNITION HOLDS OUT.

WE'LL HAVE TO GET SMART, OR LUCKY.

LOOK, IT'S WONDER WOMAN.

THERE'S OUR LUCK, GENERAL, AND IT NEVER CAME IN A MORE BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE.

[guns firing]

[inaudible]

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

IF THEY GAVE MERIT BADGES FOR BEING FANTASTIC,

YOU'D BE AN EAGLE SCOUT AFTER THAT!

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

ETTA TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED, BUT THIS IS NOT OVER YET.

I THINK MONTY BURNS IS BEHIND THIS, AND HE'S ESCAPED.

(Blankenship) WELL, NOT FAR FROM HERE IS AN M.P. PHONE BOX.

AS SOON AS WE GET THEM TO MOP UP HERE,

WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOUR MR. BURNS.

THERE! ON THE HILL!

AND THAT'S THE STORY OF WHAT'S HAPPENED

HERE THIS EVENING, BOYS AND GIRLS.

AND NOW, SINCE IT'S A BEAUTY CONTEST THAT YOU'VE COME TO SEE,

I THINK IT'S TIME THAT YOU GET TO LOOK

AT THE ONE AND ONLY WINNER POSSIBLE.

HERE SHE IS:

WONDER WOMAN!

* HERE'S YOUR DREAM GIRL

* SHE'S QUITE A PEARL

* CHARMING AND BEAUTIFUL

* AN ALL-AMERICAN GIRL

* NOW THAT WE PICKED ONE

* THIS BEAUTIFUL MISS JUST CAN'T MISS *

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TO DIANA, STEVE.

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE CONTEST.

IT'S SIMPLE, ETTA.

WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE'D HAVE TO SHARE THE STAGE WITH WONDER WOMAN,

THE POOR KID PROBABLY THREW IN THE SPONGE.

YEAH, BUT WHAT WOMAN WOULDN'T?

WONDER WOMAN IS JUST TOO MUCH.

YES, GEN. BLANKENSHIP.

THAT'S WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU, SIR. GOODBYE.

MONTY BURNS AND HIS ENTIRE RING

HAVE BEEN ARRAIGNED IN WASHINGTON.

THE RADAR SCANNER'S ALREADY A SMASHING SUCCESS

AND GEN. EISENHOWER HAS NOMINATED

WONDER WOMAN FOR A SPECIAL CITATION.

WHAT ABOUT LOLA FLYNN?

I FEEL RATHER SORRY FOR HER.

HER COOPERATION IS BEING CONSIDERED IN HER FAVOR.

BUT ESPIONAGE DURING WARTIME IS STILL A VERY SERIOUS OFFENCE.

BUT JACK WOOD'S TRYING TO GET HER LENIENCY.

HE'S A HARD MAN TO SAY NO TO.

WELL, I'M GLAD.

NOW, I'VE GOT TO FINISH THESE REQUISITION FORMS YOU REQUESTED.

WE'RE RUNNING LOW ON GRAPH PAPER.

GRAPH PAPER?

IS THAT ALL YOU CAN THINK OF AFTER ALL THAT'S HAPPENED?

BEING IN A BEAUTY CONTEST AND MEETING JACK WOOD IN PERSON?

AND THE AMBUSH OF GEN. EISENHOWER, AND WONDER WOMAN AND--

IT'S NO USE, ETTA. OUR DIANA IS STRICTLY BUSINESS.

BUT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE ONE OF THESE DAYS,

SHE'LL GET TIRED OF MISSING ALL THE FUN.

AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I'D LOVE TO BE AROUND.

YOU WILL BE, MAJOR. THAT'S A PROMISE.

* WONDER WOMAN

* WONDER WOMAN

* ALL THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR YOU *

* AND THE POWER YOU POSSESS

* IN YOUR SATIN TIGHTS

* FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHTS

* AND THE OLD RED, WHITE AND BLUE *

* WONDER WOMAN

* ALL OUR HOPES ARE PINNED UPON YOU *

* AND THE MAGIC THAT YOU DO

* STOP A BULLET COLD

* MAKE THE AXIS FOLD

* CHANGE THEIR MINDS

* AND CHANGE THE WORLD

* YOU'RE A WONDER, WONDER WOMAN *