Original subtitles

Before my parents got divorced,

we'd take a family trip every year to Catalina island.

It was the kind of place a family could look forward to

for a relaxing vacation.

I will wait.

You're not resealing the pool during our stay.

Except, for our family, it was hardly relaxing,

barely a vacation, and none of us looked forward to it.

Mel, if you don't get out of the pool

I'm gonna eat all the bacon off your club sandwich.

He wasn't wrong,

but he always used too much club to prove he was right.

Do not sign that.

Signing a waiver is basically

giving them a license to kill you.

Mel, this horse is older than Nana.

I'm with dad on this one.

Fun fact about me... terrified of horses.

That's how our vacations went, year after year...

started out with the best of intentions...

- Beautiful. - Breathtaking.

Amazing.

But it always ended with dad.

I can't see.

Got divorce papers today.

Oh, sorry, Sloan. That's got to be tough.

Not really. They're yours.

Oh. Uh, okay.

No big deal. I was pretty much expecting them.

A formality. And why is this open?

Yeah, sorry about that.

Realized about halfway through reading them they were yours.

Then I kept reading.

Cheese and crackers, lawyers make a lot more money

than middle-school principals.

I'm just gonna help myself to one of your imported beers

and not feel too bad about it.

Also, I'll just take this loose change.

Dropped a nickel.

Hey, dad, I'm headed over to mom's.

Oh, and since we're not going to Catalina this year,

I was gonna go with Nicole

to her family's beach house for the long weekend.

We're not going to Catalina?

Why would we go on a family trip?

We're not exactly a family anymore.

Cool. Then I'm gonna go call Runyen

and tell him I can go fishing with his family.

Just 'cause I'm a single dad

doesn't mean I can't take my kids on a family vacation.

They seemed okay with not going.

I'm just saying.

I got a lot of vacation days and a freshly waxed back.

I'm the whole package.

I think they may have soured on the trip in the past

because I may have been a bit difficult to travel with.

Truth be told, when I'm on vacation,

I sometimes fail to...

leave your personality at home?

Hey, I have strong opinions.

You know, it's hard to let go of that.

So your idea of a vacation

is just putting on sandals and yelling at people.

No. Open-toed shoes are neither safe nor sanitary.

Wow. You know what?

I am gonna give my kids an awesome family vacation

just by being a kinder, gentler Mel.

Mel light.

All the Mel we love without the bitter aftertaste.

So that's how the divorce papers affected dad.

For mom, they meant dipping her toe

in the online dating pool...

With Katie's help.

Hey, Mel, I can't talk right now. Katie and I...

- I can talk. - Did you get the papers?

I did.

- Staring at them right now. - Big step.

Yeah, we'll get through it, though.

One way or another.

So, uh, it's that Catalina time of year again.

Oh, thank God we don't have to do that anymore.

Actually, I was thinking maybe I would take the kids.

You're taking the kids to Catalina without me?

If that's okay.

It's a little weird, Mel.

But weird is our wheelhouse.

Go for it.

I thought one of the upsides of my parents' divorce

was that nobody got custody of Catalina.

I wanted to go to oxnard with you and your family.

You're sure you can't go, right?

Yeah.

Then I'm gonna be honest with you.

Oxnard sucks.

We wake up at dawn, we fish all day,

we only eat what we catch.

And nothing's wasted.

We eat the face, Henry. We eat the face.

Hey, Jenny.

I'm so excited to spend the weekend with you.

What's happening?

Oh, your dad didn't tell you?

My mom's out of town for work,

so I'm going to Catalina with you guys.

So it's not just a family thing.

- I even bought a new swimsuit. - I have swimsuits.

I'm gonna go pack. So excited.

Did you just hear that?

I'm going to Catalina with Jenny and her new swimsuit.

It's gonna be awesome.

I'll be in oxnard with my mom and her one-piece...

considerably less awesome.

No, it's just a pressure-free coffee thing

to get our feet wet and see if we click.

And, you know, if not, no big whoop,

but if we do, we'll roll into dinner and see where the night...

mm...

And...

My newly whitened teeth take us.

So then no more coffee?

Yes. More coffee, more coffee.

I have 15 more strips in my pack.

You know what? He's here. Beat it.

- Are you... - Joyce. I am.

Nice to meet you.

No. Not for me.

"Not for me"?

Who is he to say that?

He doesn't know how "for him" I could be.

So dad's perfect post-divorce vacation hit a little snag...

his pre-divorce wife.

You know what? Mom's in a really bad place right now.

- I am? - You are.

And I'm not going to Catalina and just leaving you like this.

Wait, what?

I'm staying beside the woman

who has always looked out for my best interest,

and, you know, if she feels better soon,

I'll just go to Nicole's.

Great. So we're just not taking a family vacation?

No, we have to go!

There are new bathing suits involved!

And dad is trying to keep this family on track

and give us an awesome vacation...

Is what he said.

Katie, you're coming on this trip whether you want to or not.

"Mel light" in three, two, one...

But I think you'll be glad you did.

Might see a whale.

I'm just gonna delete my profile.

There, I did it.

I no longer exist.

You guys have a great time.

So there I was, in paradise with the girl of my dreams...

And the family of my reality.

Yep, all of them.

You're sure this invite's not just a pity thing?

- Oh, don't be ridiculous. - No. Are you kidding me?

Because it's okay if it is.

- Basically it is, yeah. - Totally.

- Think about it. - This is great.

I'm sorry. I don't show a reservation for a Mel Fisher.

Well, that is weird, because I made one yesterday.

Would you mind checking again for me, please?

Horseback riding.

It's right next door. We should go.

Good luck convincing my dad.

He says they're a lawsuit waiting to happen.

I guess it's 'cause a horse will break your neck

if it gets the chance.

But...

What about whatever this is?

Needlepoint and quilt festival.

Margaret Cohen from woodland hills

calls it a "patchwork of delight."

You're hilarious.

We are so going.

Checking availability.

Yeah, sorry. Nothing's coming up.

And we are fully booked the entire weekend.

Fully booked? It's the off-season.

We're the only ones in this hotel lobby

that aren't on the payroll.

Let me recommend another hotel.

They lost our reservation?

Here comes dad's first blowup of the weekend.

It's gonna be worse than that,

'cause their website says they've got nothing but rooms.

Why would she lie?

I think it's because of Elvis.

Oh, no.

This does not end well.

- Good news. - Uh-huh?

The Sandy seahorse motel has vacancies.

- Fabulous. - Yes.

I'll go call a courtesy shuttle.

If he finds out, it's going to be a bloodbath.

Or there's no bloodbath 'cause we don't tell him.

- I need this weekend to go well. - He needs to know.

- The thing is he doesn't. - Hey, guys.

- Hi. - Hey, dad.

Little update...

I think it's possible that our friend at the front desk

has lost our reservation

because she doesn't want Elvis at the hotel.

So do me a favor and step outside.

In that moment, I felt bad for Debbie.

She was about to get her ass handed to her.

But the real victim here was me...

Innocent, just-trying-to-see- Jenny-in-a-bathing-suit me.

Our shuttle to the Sandy seahorse motel

should be here pretty soon.

Gonna be great.

I'm sorry. Why didn't dad torch the place?

I know what it is.

Maybe they made opposite day mandatory.

Or some nice man killed dad and is wearing his skin.

That's the only explanation.

Hey, kids, why don't you, uh,

go to the stables and check out the horses?

Oh, yeah, Henry, let's ride.

- Horses? - Would've been fun.

But I told you, there's no way my dad's gonna...

that does sound like fun. Go ahead, kids.

Oh. Great.

I love horses.

Okay...

What is happening?

Why the hell did you stand down back there?

And now you're green-lighting horses?

Where's the Mel Fisher whose moral convictions

I fell in love with, married, found exhausting,

and am now divorcing?

That guy was a vacation wrecking ball.

I'm not gonna ruin any more family trips.

So now you're sending us to some seahorse motel?

I'm sure it's not that bad.

- Seahorse.

Mel, you have always gone on and on

about people needing to be accountable for their actions.

And I usually tune that out, but you are right.

You can't let someone just walk all over you.

I should've called out that jerk

that left me at the coffee shop, but I didn't.

And I regret it, and I'm never letting it happen again.

If you're not calling Debbie out, I will.

Fine.

So that's a no-go on the sea ho?

I like both tater tots and French fries,

but gun to my head, I'm gonna have to say...

Tater tots.

Damn right. Up top.

I didn't want to say it, but I was killing.

I'm killing.

I know. This trip is so bizarre.

Hey, can I have a sip of that?

Sure.

And then the greatest thing happened.

Her lips touched a place where my lips had been...

On purpose.

Thanks.

Joyce, come on, the shuttle is waiting.

Just get on board.

No, you get on board.

- What?

Harbor inn, this is Debbie speaking.

Yes, hello, there sweet pea.

My name is Patricia Fairbanks.

My husband and I are coming in on the late ferry.

Y'all have any vacancies?

We do. Are you interested in a room or a suite?

Peaches and pie, that is great news.

Let me check with my beloved.

Room or suite, light of my life? What you think?

A suite would be hunky-dory,

my mint julep.

Well, we have a lovely suite

that overlooks the water.

It has a great view.

Perfect. My husband adores a great view.

Don't you?

Well, does a gator float on his belly in the bayou

in the moon...

all right, we'll see you later, darlin'. Bye, now.

Tell me you saved that can.

Crushed it and put it in my pocket.

What is all that smoke?

It's my mom. She's been cooking for 12 hours straight.

Mom, crack a window or something! God!

Hey, Henry.

I got to go.

Me too.

Just giant dogs, just giant dogs.

All that stood between me and Jenny was a horse,

aptly named "destiny."

This'll be fun.

Oh, my go...

Stupid destiny.

Debbie.

- Hi. - Hello.

Oh. Hi.

We just wanted to come back and thank you

for recommending that fabulous motel.

The thing is, we'd rather stay here.

Well, as I said before, we are fully booked this weekend.

- They're booked. - Totally booked.

Hmm. So you've had no cancellations.

I don't know how I could make myself any more clear.

- Ah. - Aw.

Not even a room for Mr. and Mrs. Fairbanks?

Augustus W. Fairbanks...

a prominent land developer and his radiant wife,

former miss Georgia and two-time blue-ribbon winner

of the pickens county peach pie pageant?

I've been fleshing out our characters.

Yeah, apparently.

Debbie, what's going on here?

I just didn't think we could accommodate someone like you.

Ah. Someone like me.

No.

I meant someone with a dog.

You can't see it, but this hotel is very elegant.

What the [Bleep] is that supposed to mean?

I don't appreciate being sworn at.

Well, we don't appreciate being discriminated against.

Debbie, I happen to be an attorney,

well versed in California antidiscrimination laws,

so we'll ask you one last time.

Do you have any rooms?

I'd get clickety-clacking

on that computer if I were you, honeysuckle.

And once again, on behalf of the harbor inn,

we want to extend our deepest apologies

if there was any sort of misunderstanding.

"The harbor inn welcomes all service animals,

especially those leading the blind."

That's the way you wanted it worded

on the sign in the lobby, right?

That'll work.

Abigail, I don't know what you're doing there,

but don't stop.

Ah, ah, I wouldn't do that

if I were you, Debbie... he might bite.

She's talking about me, of course.

- I was. - Hilarious.

The dog has had 9 months and $40,000 worth of training.

He won't bite or bark or destroy your hotel.

Of course.

Now, you were saying about those drink vouchers?

Oh, yes. Here are, uh, two...

- um... - Four...

all of my drink vouchers for the oasis lounge.

And again, on behalf of myself and the harbor inn

and everybody at Pacific Coast Properties LLC,

thank you so much for your understanding.

Bye, now.

Sure we're getting the most out of this?

I feel like the kids might enjoy a dessert cart.

Ooh, yes, they would.

A huge cart full of delicious desserts,

and I was too upset to eat them.

I don't get why we eat cows and ride horses.

I mean, cows are so much nicer to us.

Horses are basically just boring zebras.

I fell off the horse.

- Are you okay? - No.

I fell off in front of Jenny and ruined everything.

Horses don't just break your neck.

- They can break your heart. - Oh, sweetie.

Henry, I want to tell you something, buddy.

I know what you're gonna say, dad.

You're gonna tell me to "get back on the horse,"

which is ironic,

'cause I literally have to get back on one.

And then you're gonna tell me to seize the day

and that nothing that can happen on the horse

will be worse than not getting on one.

And then mom'll say, "Mel, don't push the boy."

And then you'll say, "Joyce, please, I'm not pushing the boy.

I'm teaching him to push himself."

So, fine. I'll go. I'll go.

It's just I know it comes from love.

It's just enough already.

God. It's exhausting.

At least we know he's listening.

Maybe he can give himself the sex talk.

Ahh. This turned out nice.

Henry's getting back on the horse,

Katie's out catching some rays,

and we've got six free-drink coupons le...

two free-drink coupons left.

Yeah.

So far, this is the best vacation ever.

You did it, Mel.

We did it.

To us.

It seems kind of weird

toasting how great we are together

when we're about to sign these, huh?

Yeah.

It's like we're getting along better now than we ever have.

Maybe that's because we've grown over the last six months.

I mean, I actually had to tell you to make a scene today.

Yeah.

And how about you, lady Fairbanks?

You actually started a scene.

It felt good.

I can't believe once we sign these, we're over, Mel.

We're not over.

We're, uh...

Starting the next phase.

Okay.

Well, that's it.

Actually, I'm pretty sure

there's, like, a million more places...

oh, yeah, there's, like, tons more places to sign.

You know, I couldn't think of a nicer way

to end my marriage to you.

We could go in there and do it.

Oh, my God.

- It was a joke. - No, no, the room...

it's a disaster.

Elvis completely destroyed the place.

- How... how bad is it? - I'm just ball-parking it,

but I'd say your dog with $40,000 worth of training

did about $2,000 worth of damage.

Why are you laughing?

This island... every time we come here, it's a disaster.

Right?

It's cursed. It's cursed.

Housekeeping.

Turndown service.

Turn down the turndown service.

No, thank you. Come back later.

Yeah, but don't say come back later.

Oh, uh... Don't ever come back.

Don't say that. That sounds very suspicious.

He's naked and drunk.

Okay, we... we got to get out of here.

We're booking it.

You grab Elvis, and I'll get the bags.

Wait, wait. We're just leaving?

It's either that or let Debbie have the satisfaction

of knowing she was right.

I'll send a check from the mainland.

Let's go.

Stop.

Elvis is tracking blueberry sauce.

- Come on, this is ridiculous. - It's faster!

We can fight on the ferry ride home.

- She's not here. - Go, go, go.

Okay.

Oh, I dropped Katie's makeup bag.

Just leave it. Leave it.

Wait. How long has Katie been wearing makeup?

Um...

Okay, destiny.

I don't like you. You don't like me.

But I like her, so I need you to help me.

Oh, no.

? Pressure

all right, vacation's over.

But we just got here.

Elvis is a wanted dog.

Fishers are peeling out in 60 seconds.

All right, I'll go,

but we have to swear that we're never coming back here.

- Absolutely. - Couldn't pay me enough.

Even though their marriage didn't work,

mom and dad showed me by example

how to have the courage to do what you need to do.

If they could do that,

then I could do this.

♪Insanity laughs, under pressure we're cracking♪

♪Can't we give ourselves one more chance?♪

Jenny!

Henry!

You rode the horse.

And if I could do that,

there's no way I wasn't gonna do this.

♪'Cause love's such an old-fashioned♪

He's kissing her. He's kissing her.

Amazing.

Is she kissing him back?

Yeah.

Amazing.

That trip to Catalina

marked the start of a new phase for me and Jenny.

Hey.

The guy I almost went on a date with wrote back.

He said the only reason he walked out

is because in person I look like his dead wife.

Yes!

So you're happy about that?

Well, apparently she died when she was 35.

I look like a 35-year-old.

It also marked a new phase for mom and dad.

You know what? I'm gonna post a new profile.

On the ferry ride home, will you help me write it?

Sure. Welcome to the next phase.

♪Pressure♪