All language subtitles for Elsbeth.S01E03.720p.x265-T0PAZ

Cheers, ladies.

Now, who is ready
to bake some cupcakes

and raise some money for
Peyronie's Disease Awareness?

Oh, so we're going to act
like nothing happened.

What are you talking about?

I heard you told Shusie
that I wouldn't come

to her product launch.
Tracy, Wendy,

this is not the time
or the place.

This is not your story, Maisie.

I never said that.

I said you'd show up late.
You always do.

That is not what she said.

I don't care
what that bitch said.

I'm the one who has your back.

And I have your back, too.

All right, let's make
some cupcakes.

I have just the thing
that'll help.

Oh, you carried that here?

Yeah. Wendy's Blendies are
light as a feather.

And after cupcakes, we can make
some healthy green smoothies.

How are they selling?
I hear not well.

Oh, no, they're really
catching on, yeah.

Especially when people see
how powerful they are.

They're gonna want
to get one for Mom...

All right, cut.

What?

I need a mic off with Wendy.

Somebody's in trouble.

Wendy, we talked about you

pushing your blenders
on the show.

Lavish Ladies is supposed
to be a launching pad

for other ventures.

I know. You all want
to be Bethenny Frankel,

but you're not Bethenny Frankel

And you're not Andy Cohen.

He has a franchise.

Why do you want
to hurt me?

Okay, nobody knew
who you were

before the show.

Yeah, but they do now.

I'm season one.

I am so tired of you
telling me what to do.

Wendy, what are you doing?

It's me, okay?

I'm not just your producer,

I'm your friend
who loves you.

And when you get like this,
you drive people away.

This is why you're alone.

I don't want that for you.

Oh, Skip, I love you, too.

I love that I'm
your favorite.

Oh, you are. Come here.

You are my favorite.
From season one.

I'm just all mixed up.

The blenders aren't selling.

I can't stop thinking about
what happened to Katricia.

Katricia was bad TV.
Okay? You know that.

Something had to be done.

I just feel like I can't
keep it secret much longer.

This is not the time
or the place.

I agree.

Why don't you come
see me tonight?

Valencia has the night off.

We'll discuss terms?

You know where to find me.

Somebody go buy some cupcakes

and pretend that they made them.

Skip, hi. Are we
still on for tonight?

Drinks at 9:00.
Oh...

You promised.
Oh, right, right, right, right.

But, Tracy, try to be on time
for once, all right?

Mm, you know me so well.

That's how I know I'm
your favorite. Mwah.
Yeah.

Bye.

Ah.

Okay, do we really have
to do this here?

This is where I take all
my most important meetings.

Okay. So, what do you want?

You make it sound so impersonal.

Don't you feel bad about
what you did to Katricia?

Mm, what we did?

She's in bad shape
since she left the show.

She lost her kids.

I just wish there was
something I could do.

Aw, come off it, Wendy.

I don't believe all this
deep concern for a second.

You don't?

What will it take

to keep all this between us?

Do you honestly think
I'm that ruthless?

I want executive producer credit
and all that goes with it.

Casting approval,
editorial control,

network support
of Wendy's Blendies,

including on-camera testimonial
from you.

Oh, you actually think that...
I'm not done.

I want 15% of foreign sales,
17% of streaming,

and favored nations
participation.

With all the ladies?
Oh, no, no, no, no.

With you.

Okay.

Oh, you're insane.
Okay, but you can't have it.

Any of it.
That's okay.

I'm sure you're gonna do
just fine... in prison.

Let me, uh, call corporate.

Oh, that's right.

You're not really the boss,
are you?

All done.

Oh, Skippy, yay.

How about we celebrate
with some margaritas?

We're gonna have
so much fun.

We're gonna
be full partners

making every
decision together.

I just get final say.

For starters,
I don't think Tracy

needs to be on every week.

A little of her
goes a long way.

Hey, I see what you're doing.

Don't mess with me, Skip.

There better be at least
three temazepam in there,

or I'm not gonna feel anything.

Oh.

I'm gonna need an office
right next to yours,

so we can be
in constant contact.

Which means
I'm gonna get your

private cell number,
finally.

You're gonna have to turn
your location services on

so I can reach you
whenever I want.

Ooh, that looks good.

Oh.

Sweetie, I'm not mad, okay?
You know I got your back.

I'm sorry I'm late!

I'm here.

And Tracy just got here.

Oh, only a few minutes late.
It's a miracle.

All right, I'll see you
tomorrow, Wendy.

Love you. Bye.

Okay. Ready?
Mm-hmm.

Ms. Tascioni
I don't know why

I find it so hard
not to push buttons.

It's up this way.

You know, you really should
call me Elsbeth.

And can I call you Kaya?

I guess. Whatever.

Such a pretty name.

I had no idea
that people live like this

in the middle of Manhattan.

Some people do.

Well, it beats my
short-term rental,

which is nothing like
the photos online.

But I guess it's hard
to photograph cockroaches.

Ooh, I don't like cockroaches,
but that's just me.

Ooh, sparkly.

- That's fun.
- Don't touch that.

Who are you?
Elsbeth Tascioni.

Elsbeth?
What kind of name is that?

Frustrating,
but you get used to it.

Ms. Tascioni is here
on the consent decree

for Major Cases.

Oh, right.

A few wrongful arrests
in the unit,

and now we're stuck with
the police police.

This is Detective Donnelly.

You gonna mess with me, Elsbeth?

Oh, I don't think that
would be a good idea.

But can you tell me
what happened here?

I guess I have to,
don't I?
Mm.

The deceased, one Wendy Wexler,
probably inebriated,

she knocked a blender
into her tub,

and she electrocuted herself.

Uh, time of death
was 9:02,

as recorded by the generator
that got tripped

when the circuit shorted out.

We found her phone in the tub.

Put that in a bowl of rice.
It should work tomorrow.

Back away.

Sorry.

You were saying?

Time of death 9:02.

The housekeeper Valencia
found her this morning.

I am not a housekeeper.
I am a paid intern.

It's a stupid and pointless
way to go.

Why do people insist on mixing

frozen cocktails
in the bathroom?

I hate to say it,

but this is
just the kind of thing

Wendy would do.
Yeah.

Wait, you knew her?
Not really.

She was a Lavish Lady.

Well, you can tell
by her bathroom.

No, she was on a reality show.

Lavish Ladies?

Oh, I've seen ads for that
at the dentist.

Wait, are you a fan?

I guess.
I've seen every episode,

a few times.

You should speak up.

This is a great
opportunity for you.

Detective Donnelly.

What are you doing?

Excuse me, Detective,
but Officer Blanke here

happens to be an expert on
the deceased's reality show.

I did not say expert.

Oh, really?
Because we just found

her shooting schedule for today,

and we were gonna head over
and break the news.

Well, I think that
Officer Blanke and I

should definitely be there,
too, 'cause she'll know

exactly who's who.

See? How about that?

Okay. Can you please not
share my personal business

without asking?

I don't understand.
What did I do?

I don't need people at work
knowing my TV-watching habits.

I like to be taken seriously.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't think.

Um, should I tell
Detective Donnelly

that you'd rather not go?

Oh, no, no. Mm-mm.

No, I mean, it's fine.

It's too late now, right?

Shusie, you know
what you said.

I can't believe
you'd take her side

when I'm the one
who has your back.

Girls, this is not
the time or the place.

Oh, please. this is exactly
the time and exactly...

Mr. Mason?

I'm Detective Donnelly, NYPD.

This is Officer Blanke.

And I'm Elsbeth Tascioni.

Elizabeth?

No, Elsbeth.

I know, it's half the syllables,

but somehow twice the effort.

Well, we're used
to funny names around here.

What-what can I do for you?

Do you mind?

Sorry. Uh, that's enough.

Huh. Sparkly.

Excuse me?

Little bits of glitter.

Uh, yeah, yeah. I'm a...

I'm afraid there's
glitter everywhere.

The ladies use it in their hair,
in their makeup.

In the bathtub?

I wouldn't be surprised.

No, I have a feeling
you wouldn't be.

Thank you.
Um, so, what's going on?

Uh, this is about Wendy Wexler.

There's been an accident.

Oh, God. What kind of accident?

I'm-I'm sorry. Is she all right?

She's dead.

What? No. What?

- How?
- It seems she was

using a blender while
taking a bubble bath.

And it fell in?

Something
like that.
Oh, my God.

Oh, I-I told her
she was drinking too much.

It was so sad.
She-she wouldn't listen.

She started
spiking her smoothies

after she got dumped
by Pierre the art dealer.

.You're a fan of the show?

I'm very touched.

Thank you.

Mr. Mason, I wonder,

would it be possible
for the police to

ask people some questions?

I thought you are the police.

Oh, no, they are.

I'm like
the police police.

That is such a good
way of putting it.

No, I'm
just here to

make sure
everything is done right.

They've had some teeny
corruption problems.

Oh. Ooh.

Um, yes, yes.
Talk to whoever you like.

You're part of
the Lavish Ladies family now.

Hmm?

Oh, God.

Wendy.

To die in such
a senseless accident.

It's-its-- Mmm. In the bathtub?

Mmm, with
glitter in it.

Well, she always knew
how to sparkle.

Okay, I guess
I need to go

tell the others.

Ooh, this is so gonna be hard.

Shouldn't they
stop the cameras?

Are you
kidding?

Funny, this doesn't
feel like reality.

It's so...

sparkly.

* *

* *

Oh, hello there, Kaya.

Hi.

You know,
I am so interested

in that reality show,

but I don't
really want to start

all the way back
at the beginning,

so I was wondering

if you could give me
a crash course,

maybe if I
bought you dinner?

Tonight?

I happen to be free.
That's fun.

Don't say anything
without a lawyer present.

You can thank me later.

Ms. Tascioni.

Hmm?

Good morning,
Captain Wagner.

Ms. Tascioni, what
are you doing here?

Oh, you know. Observing.

Yeah? You can't be doing that.

But the consent decree...

You're supposed
to observe

high-profile investigations,

not get into every little thing.

Oh, I don't mind.

My officers do.

Focus on this woman's

accident in
her bathtub.

It's not even a homicide
and it's eating up my day.

Actually, I'm not sure

it was an accident.

In fact...
I don't want
to hear it.

And I don't want you hovering.

Well, maybe if
I had a real office...

It's just that
storage closet is so small.

I mean,
I've been trying

with these
different

paint and
wallpaper samples,

but it's a very
challenging space.

Well, maybe it's time
we put you someplace else.

Oh.
Noonan.

Uh, ooh.

Are all these, um,
awards yours?

What did Wali
do now?

Ooh, who-who's Wally?

Is he that angry guy
that came to talk to you?

And is that a first name
or a last name?

Ms. Tascioni,

please forget you ever
heard that name.

Well, you just made that
impossible.

Try.
Okay.

Lieutenant Noonan,

Ms. Tascioni needs
a real office.

Someplace she can
put down her tote bags

and stay out of
everybody's business.

What have we got
on the fifth floor?

Fifth floor?
This is the second floor.

That would put me...
Mm-hmm.

Actually, I am
very happy in the closet.

Ooh, that didn't sound right.

Um, I'm fine.

Really. Although I could

use some help
getting to the window.

Noonan, go
give her a hand.

Why would anyone watch this?

So, have you known
Captain Wagner a long time?

Only 25 years.

We started at
the academy together,

and then
we were partners.

Police captain is
such an important job,

all those high-profile
investigations.

There must be some
sticky situations.

Not if you're
a man of integrity,

and nobody's got more
integrity than C.W. Wagner.

Oh, my.

He sounds almost
too good to be true.

So, um, why was that
Wally guy so angry?

You ask a lot
of questions.

Maybe too many.

Ah.

All right,
there you are.

Oh, hurray.

I can make this work somehow.

Thank you very much, Lieutenant.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, let me see

if I can get this straight.

So, Shusie-- whose name
I love, by the way--

slept with
Maisie's husband...

Ex-husband.
...ex-husband Ryan,

who faked having
multiple sclerosis

in an
insurance fraud.

Now you got it.

Wow. This show
is amazing.

Okay, so now we can move on
to season five.

Can I just say,
you're an amazing teacher.

It's easy.

These women are like my friends.

Oh, stop.

No, it's true.

They're like my friends
who I think are messed up

but I also envy their lives.

And real estate.

Well, I don't see why.

Your life is so interesting.
Mmm.

You even live
in a place called Queens.

On my way here,

I saw so many

exciting things on the 7 train.

And I thought,
"Kaya never has to

scream for a cop,
'cause she is one."

That is a perk.

Yeah, and I love your house.

Where did you
get all this stuff?

Thrift stores, mostly.

The molding and the wallpaper...

Did it all myself,

with the help of
my other friends on HGTV.

Well, I like it much better
than anything on Lavish Ladies.

Thanks.

Okay, so,
season five

is when Katricia has
her Montauk meltdown.

You don't have my back,

any of you, and

I don't want you to have my back

because this back

is mine.

Tricia, we all love you.

Well, I don't love you.

I don't love anybody.
Not my husband,

not my kids.
Not even my clothes.

Oh, stop.

I hate my clothes!

Yuck.

No, stop. Stop.
This is too awful.

Yep. Katricia left
the show after that.

Well, no wonder.

If I were her,
I'd be mad at

that Skip guy for
putting that on TV.

In fact...

I think he may have
killed Wendy.

Mmm, that doesn't
make any sense.

He created
the show,

and plucked them from
already wealthy obscurity.

Why would he harm one of
his original meal tickets?

Okay. Well, just for
the sake of argument,

what if it wasn't an accident?

And if it
wasn't Skip,

who was Wendy's biggest rival?

You sure you don't want a glass?

Oh, no, I'm fine.

I'm on duty.

And is that really
a glass or a goblet?

I don't know.

Because it
holds a lot.

I'm still shaken up.

Wendy was my best friend.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

But you were
such rivals.

Oh, please.

That was just an act,
to make good TV.

It was?

We'd call each
other every night

and plan what we'd

fight about
the next day on camera.

I tried her that night,
but I got no answer.

What time was that?

I don't know.

After I got home
from seeing Skip.

You were with Skip that night?

We met for drinks at 9:00.

Oh, in fact,

he was leaving a message
for Wendy when I got there.

Did Skip know that

you and Wendy planned
your scenes together?

Oh, please.

Skip likes to think
he's the mastermind.

God forbid
we should think for ourselves,

or he should pay us.

Wait, you don't get paid?

Not what we deserve.

Trust me,
reality doesn't pay.

And Wendy had money troubles.

That's why she kept
pushing her blenders.

And why Skip had
to pull her off set that day

for a mic off.

What's a mic off?

No mics, so nobody can hear.

I could tell
he was pretty pissed.

Everyone here in
the Lavish Ladies family

is devastated by
the tragic accidental death

of Wendy Wexler.

Um, it's hard to imagine
Lavish Ladies

without her,
but, uh...

Let's-let's do this later.
I'm not feeling it.

Um... thank you.

No, other side.

Your right--
your right side.

Just gotta push.
Oh.

Thank you. Sorry.

Thank you.
Oh. Sorry.

Uh, Elsbeth, right?

Oh, yes. Very good.

Well, we might have
to change your name

if we ever get you on TV.

Oh, gosh.

I don't think
I'd do well on television.

I'm not so sure.

Just get you a stylist...

So, what brings you

back to me
so soon?

Um... Uh, well, you said that

we could talk to anybody,

so we just had

a nice little chat
with Tracy Crenshaw.

Ooh. Oh, poor Tracy.

She and Wendy had
such a rocky relationship.

It must make this
even more painful.

Yeah.

Tracy said she was with you
the night Wendy died.

That is true.
Uh, yes, we had drinks.

I remember I was
leaving a message

for Wendy
when Tracy arrived.

I can show you the time
on my phone.

Isn't that what she said?

That's... exactly what she said.

Sorry. Um...

Why are you asking
these questions

when Wendy's death was
an accident?

Oh, you know,
that darn consent decree,

I just have
to make sure

that the police get
everything right

in their report.

So Tracy said that
you pulled Wendy off set

for a "mic off"?

Uh, yes, she was hijacking
the scene to sell blenders.

Wendy always had
money problems,

so she had to do

these side hustles
to pay the bills--

the blenders,
personal appearances, cameos.

I told her she was only
hurting her brand, but...

ah, you couldn't reason with her
when she was drinking.

She drank a lot?
Oh, it was so sad.

Believe me, I kept the worst
of it off the show.

Oh...

So you get to decide
what the audience sees.

Of course.

I can make people
look any way I want

with enough footage.

I knew how to keep
Wendy relatable.

If people knew
all the ugly stuff,

oof, they'd be shocked.

Maybe not the best
choice of words...

Speaking of editing, um,

I'm afraid I do
have work to do.

Oh, of course, um...

This has been so helpful.

Good luck
with that report.

Huh.

That's so interesting.
What is?

Well, you keep saying
how Wendy's drinking was so sad.

It was.
Right.

But margaritas aren't really
a sad drink.

Margaritas are a happy drink.

What do you mean?
Well...

The people that I've known
with a drinking problem,

when they're alone,
they just want to...

...get it in 'em.

They don't fire up
the old blender and...

...slice a lime.

I suppose that's my fault.

It is?

After being on the show
for so long,

Wendy lived her life

like there was always
a camera running.

Putting on a show
to hide her pain.

Huh.

That does sort of make sense.

But I guess we'll never know.

Oh...

I think we'll figure it out.

* *

Yeah, uh,
stop what you're doing.

We need to put some footage
together for the police.

They need our help.

Hi.

Skip said that
Wendy did cameos.

Did she play
small parts in movies?

No, she did cameos.

You know, like when
people pay celebrities

to record a message
for someone?

Oh...!

When did she do her last one?
Can we see it?

Maybe, if it's trending...

She's a celebrity
who just died

in a freakish way.

Would that be trending?

Hey, Samantha.
I hope I'm saying that right.

It's me, Wendy Wexler.

I am just here enjoying
a Plushy Glitter Bath Bomb.

It is so luxurious,

I am proud to be
a paid spokesperson.

Anyway, your bestie Mandy
told me that you just got

your Alexander
Technique Certificate,

so congratulations, girl!

You crushed it!

Why am I looking at this?

That was recorded 23 minutes
before the time of death.

Okay, so?

Where's the wine glass?

What?

She's holding a wine glass.

There was a margarita glass
found in the tub

- but no wine glass.
- Well, maybe

she wanted a different drink,
so she went down to the kitchen

and got a different glass.

Naked and dripping wet?

Officer Blanke,

you, apparently, are the expert.

She could have.

But it's extremely
unlikely.

And why was Skip Mason

so eager to prove
his alibi with Tracy?

Maybe because
he doesn't want to be

wrongfully accused of murder.

And who gave you the authority
to interview Skip Mason?

He did. He said
we're part of the family.

Okay, here's
my theory...

I don't want more theories.
The evidence is clear.

Wendy Wexler died
by accident

by knocking her blender
into the bathtub

because she was drunk.

- Not necessarily.
- What now?

The autopsy results.

The deceased had very little
alcohol in her system.

There was some Temazepam
and tequila found

in the bathwater,
but she was sober.
See?

Also, we dusted everything
on the tray for prints.

And there were none.

Not even Wendy's.

Somebody may have
wiped them down.

Go back to the house
and see what you can find.

Where did Skip put
the wine glass?

Skip Mason had no motive.

That we know about.

What about
Wendy's ex-husband?

He moved to Dubai.
Right.

There was space on the tray

for an extra glass.

He must have put them back.

No wine glass in the sink.

And she clearly didn't wash
her own dishes.

No.

Aha!

You see that?

Glitter.
From the bath bomb.

And I'll bet...

Yes!

Glitter on the wine glass

and on an extra
margarita glass.

She wasn't drinking alone.

Whoever killed Wendy thought
that they cleaned these

well enough, but they didn't.

We know, there's glitter
all over the place.

You can't get rid of it.
Exactly.

It takes a manicure

like the one that Skip Mason got
the morning after the murder.

You can't build
this case on glitter.

You don't have to.

Turns out Valencia,
the housekeeper--

"Paid intern."
Turns out
she has a record.

Assaulted
her former employer.

But what about Skip?

Yeah, about him...

Wendy's phone dried out.
We got it working again.

Password was
her actual birthday.

Do you mind?

Sorry.
She left this message

exactly two minutes
after the time of death.

Hey, Wen, it's Skip.

Look, I'm not,
I'm not mad, uh...

You know I've got
your back...

I cannot believe

I am actually on time.

Yay for me!

Tracy just got here.

Only a few minutes late.
It's a miracle.

Love you, Wen.
See you tomorrow.

Tracy met him on the street,
in front of a bar

20 minutes away.
Just like he said.

Airtight alibi.

Told ya.

Valencia, how many times
do I have to tell you

that when you get here

you need to unload
the dishwasher.

Okay, that is not the job
of a "paid intern."

Sweetie, your job is
what I say it is.

And now,

please go clean my toilets.

Again, not my job.

That brings me
to my next subject...

This is hilarious.

I wish they put it on the show.

Where did all this
come from?
Outtakes.

Skip Mason put it together.

Of course he did.

He can make a person look
any way he wants to,

given enough footage.

I swear to God, Wendy,

I'm going to kill you!

So you killed her.

That's ridiculous.

You assaulted
your previous employer.

Geraldine was nuts.
She hit me first.

And those charges were dropped.

And what about
the extension cord?

What extension cord?

On the blender.

We have a receipt
proving you bought it.

Wendy expected me to use
that dinky three-foot cord

on her fancy
English vacuum,

so I bought a longer one.

You hated the way
she treated you.

It's all there on the video.

That was all just an act
for the cameras.

Why would I kill Wendy?

I had a really good thing going.

I'd been stealing money
from her for years.

I admit,
that doesn't sound good.

You heard it, Captain.
Valencia found the body.

She and Wendy
argued all the time.

She threatened her.
She has a record.

She bought
the extension cord.

And she was
stealing from her.

Case closed.
Or not.

Who asked you?

Well, why would she admit
all that if she were guilty?

So someone like you
would say that.

Well, I'd hate to report

that the police didn't
follow every lead.

Are you serious,
Ms. Tascioni?

You know, I think I am.

Were there any other messages
on Wendy's phone?

Yeah.

Who the hell is Katricia?

Mm, no, big mistake.

Katricia's had a hard time
since the Montauk meltdown.

She's unstable and, I hate
to say it, disgruntled.

Well, maybe we should talk
to her anyway.

You can't.
She disappeared.

She's off social media.
Nobody knows where she is.

Do you think it's possible
that she's been murdered, too?

It's possible. God.

What if someone's been
targeting my ladies?

The police have got
to stop them.

I totally agree.

Oh, you know...

you know, we've never had
a cop on the show.

Could certainly
use one now.

I need to go
tighten up security.

We need to find
Katricia.

I don't know how you found me.

You once mentioned your hideaway
in Chelsea on a podcast,

and I tracked it down.

Not a stalker.

Officer Blanke is just a really
big fan of Lavish Ladies.

Yeah?

Well, I'm not.

That show lost me
my marriage, my kids.

That's why I had to downsize.

I used to
have it all.

Then Skip Mason ruined my life.

Oh, I believe it.

Can you...
tell us how?

You know why I just took
eight shots of tequila?

No, but I confess
I've been extremely curious.

To prove it doesn't affect me.

See? Steady as a rock.

I could always
hold my liquor,

which drove Skip crazy.

All the other ladies
would get sloppy

and start screaming at
each other, but not me.

I was smart and sober,

which meant I was bad TV.

So he drugged me.

Which led to
the Montauk meltdown.
You think I would've said

those horrible things
from a few glasses

of pinot grigio?

Skip drugged me.

And he had help from Wendy.

From Wendy?

From Bathtub Blendie Wendy?

Yeah, Skip got all his drugs
from Wendy.

She was queen
of the pharmaceuticals.

How do you know that?

Because she admitted it.

After I lost custody of my kids,
Wendy felt bad.

We had long talks
on the phone about it.

You know, she promised
she would send me something

to make it up to me.

What could she send?

Ooh, a signed statement
would've been powerful,

especially
if she'd had it notarized.

I'm a lawyer. Do you think
that could've been it?

I-I don't know,
'cause whatever it was,

she never sent it.

I mean, I'm not surprised, she
would never jeopardize the show.

The show was
everything to her.

Still...

"Still..." Still what?

Last time we spoke, she said,

with everything she knew, she
could send Skip Mason to prison.

But I guess
it's too late for that.

Not necessarily.

Yeah, uh, this looks good.

Just remember, it's a
memorial, not a funeral.

So we don't want to be
too much of a downer.

Yeah.

Shusie? Shusie,
I need you to listen to me.

You-you can wear the Valentino
but not the Chanel.

No, that-that's too close
to what Tracy's wearing.

And no dogs.

I'm serious.

Look, I got to go. Okay?

So...

Do you have
good news for me?

We found Katricia.

Oh. Great.

You were right.
She is very disgruntled.

In fact,
she had a lot of

negative things to say
about you.

Would you like to hear them?

As a matter of fact,

Ms. Tascioni--

Elsbeth-- no.

No, I would not.

Oh. But you seemed
so worried about her.

I just thought...

Why are you talking to someone

who left the show years ago?

Do you have any idea
how this works?

Th-These women...

These silly women will do
or-or say anything

to get in the spotlight, so, no,

I-I don't care what
she says about me.

You were supposed
to arrest Valencia,

who all the evidence
points to,

and leave me alone,

because I have an alibi.

Or does that not matter anymore?

Oh, yes, it matters a lot.

I had a feeling it would.

So, maybe you can back off

because I've got
a memorial to plan.

Wendy's memorial is
gonna be on the show?

Isn't that in poor taste?

And there it is.

The eternal question.

Why don't you ask
your friend here?

She gets pleasure
from watching my show.

Do you think that

she had "bad taste"?

No. Not at all.
No,

I don't, either.

I'm proud to have fans like her.

You might think
it's trash,

but I've taken these privileged,
spoiled, silly women

and turned them into
a cultural phenomenon.

Why would I want
to hurt any of them

after what
we've built together?

You have no idea

how hard it is to make good TV,
Ms. Tascioni.

And you never will.

I don't think I would
want to be on this show.

Hmm. Me, neither.

We need to wrap this up
so I can stop watching

this damn show.
It's addictive.

How can this be legal?

Well, that's
a whole nother question.

Donnelly? Where are you?

All the evidence points
to Valencia, the housekeeper.

Paid intern. If you want to know
what I think...

I know what you think.

There's something creepy
about that guy.

See if you can break his alibi,

before I have to arrest

that poor housekeeper.

Paid intern.

Go.

* *

You have no idea

how much it means to me

that you're all helping me
raise awareness

for fructose intolerance.

Well, if Tracy decides to show,
that is.

Ugh. This is so typical.

She swore she'd be here.

She will be, eventually.

Poor thing needs
all the time she can get

to be camera ready.

You're bad!

Wait, that...

I cannot believe I am actually
on time! Yay for me!

Wait.

Why does that
sound familiar?

Oh. Oh!

Kaya. Kaya, wake up.
Mm? What?

Wh-Wh-What?
What happened?
I know how he did it.

Skip Mason's alibi depends
on the message

left on Wendy's phone.

- That's right.
- Because how

could he have killed Wendy

and then left that message
two minutes later,

with Tracy in the background,
from a bar 20 minutes away?

Yeah, how did he do that?

He didn't.

Picture Skip

knocking the blender
into the bathtub.

The lights go out,
the generator comes on.

Thinking fast, Skip takes out
both of his cell phones.

He uses one
to leave a message for Wendy,

and the other one to play a clip

from the show,
with Tracy's voice

saying she was on time.

We found it on season seven.

I cannot believe

I am actually on time!
Yay for me!

He played it to make it
sound like Tracy was there,

but she wasn't.

That's why
there's no sound of cars

because he wasn't on the street.

And that humming noise
that you hear in the background

is the generator.

My God, she's making sense.

I know.

Alibi planted, Skip then

washed and put away
the wine glass

and the extra margarita glass,

getting glitter
under his fingernails.

Skip then ran

to the bar to meet Tracy.

He knew she'd show up
half an hour late,

she always does.

Skip then only pretended
to leave

a message for Wendy
at that point,

so Tracy would remember it,

so she would back up his alibi,
which we now know is fake.

Ta-da.

It's a good theory.

Very good.

But it's still not enough.
Ha!

Tracy could have said
the exact same thing that night

that she said on the show.

I've watched enough to notice

that the women tend
to repeat themselves.

Hadn't thought about that.

Mm-hmm.

But you do believe me,
don't you?

Ah, ladies.

You all look stunning.

I still can't believe
she's gone.

I know, but she is.

Oh, God. Okay.

We're just here
to pay our respects.

Wendy was like a friend to me.

And,
in truth, Mr. Mason,

we're closing in on
the prime suspect.

Oh.

Oh, oh. I see.

Well,

took you long enough.

So sorry I bothered you.

I was just trying
to find out the truth.

I understand, Elsbeth Tascioni.

Reality's my business.

Let's go!

Places, please!

Tracy?

Tracy.

Hello, again.

Oh, hi.

You know,
I wanted to ask you,

are you absolutely sure

that you met Skip at 9:00
on the night that Wendy died?

Yes, I was only
a couple of minutes late.

That's what Skip said.

I remember it so clearly.

Tracy!

Wendy.

What can I say about Wendy?

God, I loved that bitch.

I always knew she had my back.

Who's gonna have my back now?

I know if Wendy were here,
she would say...

Katricia?

She looks great.

It's filler.

I know who killed Wendy.

He almost killed me, too.

Wh-What is she doing here?
Who let her in?

This came in the mail today.

Wendy sent it
before she died.

Take a look. You all know
her handwriting.

Okay. Uh, we're gonna cut.

Um, Katricia
and I need a mic off.

Her body looks great.

Ugh. I need to get
back to Pilates.

Oh, wait,
that reminds me.

I texted my Pilates instructor
on my way to Skip that night.

Really?
Can you show me?

Where is it?
Ow. You're hurting me.

Where is it?
I'm not, I'm not mic'd, Skip.

Then what do you want?

I want people to know the truth

about what you did to me.

What good is that gonna do?

Oh, no. I know you.

You want back in.

Okay. Come back.

You can take Wendy's place.

I thought I was bad TV.

Oh, you were,

but this little stunt shows

that you've changed.

I like that.

Well, what about Wendy?

She wanted justice.

Oh, please, Wendy was just
using you to blackmail me.

And look what
happened to her.

Don't make the same
mistake, Katricia.

Is that a threat?

You tell me.

You're not as ridiculous
as the others.

And the truth is,
you've always my favorite.

So, what's it gonna be?

You're gonna end up like Wendy?

Smart lady.

Oh, my God.

I texted my Pilates instructor
at 9:24,

so I must've been much later
meeting Skip.

Honey, you're always late.

He knew you would be.

So, that means...

Katricia and I had
a little talk,

and we are all good.

So...

let's go again.

Yes, hit it, Rudy.

Don't make the same mistake,
Katricia.

Is that a threat?

You tell me.
Wait, I don't understand
what's happening.

You're not as ridiculous
as the others.

And the truth is...
Okay, turn that off.

...you've always been
my favorite.

Rudy, stop. Turn it off.

So, what's it gonna be?

You're gonna end up like Wendy?

Can you-- turn that off?

I-I don't, I don't know
what's going on.

Look inside.

Surprise.

Rudy, the sound guy,
helped me set that up.

Apparently,
you're not that fun to work for.

No, but th-this is
Wendy's handwriting.

She sent me a 20% off
coupon for a blender.

But I'm not getting one,
those things are dangerous.

Mm.
Take him away.

You knew right away, didn't you?

I guess reality is my business,
too.

I'm gonna need
a new show to watch.

Can I say, "Cut?"

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