Original subtitles

ROMAN TALES

- Mario! Mario! - What is it?

- Alvaro was released. - When?

This morning. He said he's waiting for you in the square.

Tell him I'm coming. Alvaro is a shrewd one!

Righetto, here!

Spartaco!

- What do you want? - Alvaro is waiting in the square.

- Silvio Pellico is back! - Do you mind?

No! We would need many customers like him.

Have him pay the bill that he left,

before his... "vacation".

Otello!

Otello!

- What is it? - Alvaro was released.

- When? - One hour ago. He's in the square.

Alright. Tell him I'm coming.

- Who is Alvaro? - Alvaro Latini.

- I don't know him. - What?

He knifed Valerio Zerboni and was in jail 6 months. A shrewd guy.

People who stab others are shrewd?

He didn't want to stab him. An unpleasant misunderstanding.

And he went to jail 6 months? Then he's stupid.

- Hi, Armando. - Hi. See you.

- Hi, guys! - Hi, Alvaro!

Mom!

- It's him again! - Mom, Alvaro is back!

- I can see that. - Aren't you happy to see me?

- Mom! - Stop. You're hurting me.

I always thought of you during these 6 months.

I wondered what you were doing.

I was working, to send you packages.

Always cutlets! When they arrived, they were like soles.

- You should thank God! - I thank God and Mom.

- Stop it. - How is Maria?

- She says hi. She's fine. - She'll be happy to see me.

- What a satisfaction! - Finally I'm in my home.

Hi, girls!

- Is there a clean shirt? - That one belongs to the Cavaliere!

Who gives a darn about him. It'll be tight around the neck.

Here we go again!

- Spartaco, where are you going? - I'll be right back. Alvaro! Alvaro!

- Here he is! - Don't you ever grow up?

You're shorter than before. I thought you weren't coming.

- My brother-in-law didn't let me out. - Don't bother with him.

- He sleeps in the kitchen now. - In the silverware drawer.

Alvaro was released, and the gang has been formed again.

Miss Ines, we don't give Alvaro Latini credit anymore.

Prison is an experience that everyone should have.

Military life's nothing! In the army you only meet poor guys.

I was in a cell at Regina Coeli with a marquis and an antique dealer.

They treated me very well.

I was important in there.

Know what the director told me when I left?

"Good thing you're leaving. Otherwise, I'd have left."

Let's talk about our business.

You've begun doing a shameful job. You should quit.

- How? - What can I?

- What'll I say at home? - You have become lazy.

I know everything. It's because of women.

The fish vendor's daughter, Mr. Annibale's daughter...

- I won't say names. - The cafe cashier.

- You hadn't told me that. - Otello is kidding. She's too tall.

- I'm kidding? - She is 2 meters tall.

A man should be independent with a woman, and dominate her.

As of today, a new life!

I met important people in there.

- Hold it a minute. - Alvaro, hold still.

- I must talk to him. - Pretend you don't see him.

- Leave me alone! - What'll he do now?

Valerio, I must talk to you.

Valerio, you don't want to start again, do you?

Let's forget everything.

I was in jail for 6 months. I suffered so much.

- I was humiliated. - I don't think about it anymore.

- Then let's make peace. - Just a minute.

Ever since your wife married you, I never even talked to her.

I hope you believe it. Otherwise, I don't know what to say.

I believe you, and believed you that night, too.

I had drunk. I didn't want to look like a coward with my friends.

- What'll he do to him? - Maybe he'll stab him again.

- Yes! - That'll fix things.

If so...

- Bye, Valerio. Friends as before. - Bye.

Here he is!

- How did it go? - Fine. He apologized.

I felt sorry for him. You know I'm a good person.

He shook my hand and I said, "No!"

"Valerio, when you see my wife, lower your eyes and leave,

or this time I'll send you to the cemetery."

- You scared him! - He said, "Friends as before."

Give me the jacket. Let's go drink a Campari Soda. Short stuff's paying.

- Me? - Come on. You have money!

Pull out that money!

- Hello. - Good morning, employees.

- Come on! - Wait.

Is this the lady?

My compliments!

Four Camparis.

- How much is it? - 320.

I couldn't believe it. I never would have imagined.

That short stuff!

- To health. - To health!

- To health, miss! - Thanks. Best wishes.

What is Valerio doing with the truck? Driver? Delivery boy?

He has his own business. He bought a truck on instalments.

He knows how to take care of his business.

- Instalments? Now I understand. - Right.

Guys, I'm going to get my wife.

See you in the afternoon. I've an idea...

- Miss, don't wear Spartaco out. - But...

- Goodbye! - Bye!

Alvaro will never change.

- Hi, Franca. - Hi, Alvaro.

- Alvaro! - Maria!

- Maria! - Stop it. There are people.

Why? 6 months is a long time. You don't know what I felt in there.

They're looking at us. Let's go home.

Did you think of me? I often wondered what you were doing.

- Did you think of me? - Yes, I did.

- Always? - Yes, always.

- Dear, everything will be as it was. - I hope not!

We'd better makes things clear right away.

If you don't become a serious person and start working, I...

Maria, look at my face.

- You don't think I've changed? - No.

I mean inside!

I don't know what goes through your head.

Many ideas!

Then you haven't changed at all.

There are 3 combinations. 12, 18 and 24 instalments.

- It's lovely! - How many?

- 24. - Got that? 24 instalments.

The truck pays for itself. It is profit making.

But you must give 300,000 in advance.

- Yes. - Then let's do so.

- You want to try it? - We'd like that!

- Get me a test license. - It's a deal.

Did you hear what he said? The truck pays for itself.

And if business goes well,

we could even buy a big truck.

- May I drive? - Gladly.

- Are you crazy? - Stop it!

- Third level diesel license. - Is it short stuff's license?

- Look. - Where did you find it?

- In an Easter egg? - Classified as fourth.

- Yeah. There were 4 of you. - We have mechanical personnel.

Stop it!

- What brakes! - It speeds!

- Did you check out the brakes? - It's really lovely.

Next week we'll come to draw it up.

- Good-day. - Goodbye, and thanks.

You're welcome.

What is "drawing it up"?

- The contract. - And the 300,000 Lira?

Let me think. I only need 5 minutes to solve everything.

- In 5 minutes... - We'll let him think.

Go on. Throw him inside.

Go on. Take a bath!

Stop acting like kids!

- Darn you! I know! - Go on! What did you think of?

- AMOS. - What?

The name of the speed transport coop.

AMOS: Alvaro, Mario, Otello and Spartaco.

- Why am I last? - Because AMOS is fine.

Why not SAMO? Spartaco, Alvaro, Mario and Otello.

- SAMO already exits. - OMAS! OSMA, OMSA.

- MASO! - MOSA.

Enough! AMOS is fine.

We're all the same in the coop, but we need a boss,

or we'll become a republic.

You worry about the name but don't know how we'll get 300,000 Lira.

Right!

Sunday, international soccer game, Italy-England.

- I know! - Another name!

- No, the 300,000 Lira. - Where?

- In here. - I've the Banca d'Italia here!

We can't speak seriously with you guys.

You'll remain in garbage, as you are used to doing.

- Can't we joke anymore? - Have you become touchy?

No, but one must be serious in business.

- We are serious. Even tragic! - So I see! Now listen.

- Each gets 25,000 Lira. - And you?

Me too. I will have it become 300,000 Lira. Let's go.

Did you fall out of bed this morning?

- I am never late. - He makes me furious!

Mom, you tell him. Did he ever arrive before us?

No, but this time he did okay.

- Good thing you're here, ma'am! - She doesn't know you.

Let's go!

- Careful. It'll all fall. - Marcella!

I waited for you last night until 11:00.

I'm sorry, but my aunt and uncle and cousin came.

She got engaged to a guy who has a coffee making company.

- Big deal! - Right.

- Marcella, come here. - What do you want?

Come here a moment.

No, stop it. Not here!

Come on...

Let's go.

- You know I love, don't you? - I know.

But you don't know that I always think of our future.

Good for you.

I cannot go on like this,

unloading crates, breaking ice...

If I don't get a good job, how can I have a family?

- What do you want to do? - I have a project.

- What? - I can't tell you. It's a secret.

- Now you keep secrets from me? - It is something serious.

I need your help, a loan. An advance would solve everything.

- How much? - 25,000 Lira.

You're creating your future with 25,000 Lira?

Your future doesn't cost much.

Now I see why you were on time, and so sweet...

Get out! I should create a family with a guy like you?

- You are offending me. - You should be offended!

You know what? Just go to hell!

- You too, along with your sister! - You and your whole family!

I don't give a darn about you!

- Goodbye, Mrs. Adele. - Did you argue again?

Yes. This time it's really over. Find another poor devil like me.

Tell me. What is the matter?

Otello, I always treated you like a son.

It was Marcella, huh? What did she do to you?

- Let me by! - Wait!

Every morning the same thing.

A half meter today, a half meter tomorrow...

Who knows where I will end up!

How brazen! I was here 10 days ago. Look where you sent me.

You really scare me. The lace of my blouse is shaking!

- We'll see now, Brigadier! - Yeah, call the brigadier.

Otello, come here.

Here. But don't tell Marcella.

Don't worry. Next week I'll return it.

Alright. Go on. I'll join you.

- Let's not leave Marcella alone. - Yes, Mrs. Adele.

Every morning she steals half a meter.

Good thing I get wider. If you got wider, what would happen?

- Let me see the signs. - She erases them at night.

I sleep at night. I'm not like your daughter.

- What've you got to say about her? - You know.

- Murderer! I have a heart problem. - Eat less.

- Brigadier, this is my place. - We'll check the floor plan tomorrow.

- Go on, keep going! - Finally you're here!

- Have you calmed down? - You want to joke.

Otello, listen...

I'll give you that money when we close, but don't tell my mom.

No. It's too easy like this.

After all you said to me, I don't want anything.

I have my dignity too.

What happened to him this morning? Did the friars bless him?

It's shameful. If she goes on like this, who knows where I'll end up.

Excuse me, madam. Look at these earrings.

They are lovely, huh?

- 20,000. - At least 25,000.

My little boy has scarlet fever and I'm being evicted from my home.

- My wife is pregnant again. - I'm sorry.

What? I'm even a veteran!

We don't have food. We made ragu sauce with the last 300 Lira.

With 20,000 Lira you can buy lots of spaghetti.

With 20,000 Lira? Have you ever been to the zoo?

Did you see the lions' meal? It's worse at my home.

We have to feed them with a pitch fork, they eat so much.

- Please give me 25,000 Lira. - Alright.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, and goodbye.

- You're depositing? - No, I'm withdrawing.

- How much? - Everything.

Your ID.

Finally! I waited an hour for you.

- Spartaco? - You're asking me?

Yesterday was too late, today is too early.

A bit closed, a bit open. At times you're gone, or your brother-in-law.

What disgusting thing is this?

I'm not renewing the subscription. Goodbye.

- Good morning, Miss Ines. - Good morning. You are late today.

A new life!

A cappuccino, please.

- Did you win at the SISAL? - Almost.

- With double sugar. - Alright.

- Ready! - Go Roma, forever!

- Thanks. - Spartaco! You are here.

- Well? - The customers are leaving.

Nobody will come to the parlor now.

Where will you eat, you lazy bum?

I am tired of you, the shop and my sister.

Here are the keys. You'll massage your own hair as of today.

It's useless. You've so little hair!

You'll pay for that. You'll beg me for charity.

This is his gratitude after giving him bread and work for years.

- Stop it! - I hope you starve to death!

Go away.

Spartaco, you made a mistake in arguing with your brother-in-law.

- What'll you do now? - I have other plans.

Maybe I'll be part of a coop for speedy transportation.

- My compliments! - A new life!

They are 10.

Quagliarini, get money from my daughter. It's 63,000 Lira.

Okay, Mr. Annibale.

- How much is it? - 63,000.

I'll give you 38,000 today and 25,000 the next time.

Okay. I have to bring oil anyway.

35,000...

38,000.

- You want a glass of wine? - Sure.

- Here. - To health!

- Goodbye. - Bye.

- Mario, there are customers. - I'll go.

Good morning. What would you like?

Just a minute. Anita, two English people are here.

Please.

- What do they want? - I don't know. They're not English.

- They are. Can't you see? - What do these people want?

- We don't understand. - They're not English.

I'll take care of it. I'll bring you tagliatelle, chicken, peppers,

and half a liter of Frascati wine. Alright?

We understand each other right away! See how it's done?

I'll throw away these signs. We can't make a mad impression.

- I speak French and English. - You don't know anything!

You like hillbillies who bring their sack from home.

- You are fine with them. - Watch out how you speak.

It'd be a stylish place if there weren't ignorant people like you.

That way you'll learn to respect your father.

- What's the matter? - Leave me alone.

- Don't cry. - Nobody understands me.

What about me?

You're like my father. Your jacket is dirty,

your plants don't have a pleat, and look at your tie.

With what I earn...

I had bought you gold shoulder pads.

- They'd make fun of me here. - You don't want to be refined.

- Listen. - Leave me alone.

- If Dad sees us, he'll send you away. - I'll wear the shoulder pads.

Leave me alone.

Put half a liter on the bill.

He never ends.

Two tickets.

Otello! Otello!

We are here!

I can't stand it anymore. I've been standing since 5:00 a.m.

- You are never content. - Sure.

- How many did you get? - 8. Look.

- Good! - With the earlier ones, it's 24.

If we buy another 8, we are all set.

I heard

that at the last minute tickets sell for 10,000 Lira.

Quiet. Don't let anyone hear you!

We'll pay the truck instalment and have money left over.

- What if it rains? - Come on!

- If it rains, they play anyway. - People won't go to the stadium.

- I am tired of you! - Come on! Excuse me!

Hurry, dear, or I'll be late.

Why must you leave 2 hours ahead of time?

Business! Business for my Maria!

Maria, did you see the dresser keys?

- What for? - I have to put on earrings.

- To go where? - To Aunt Ernestina. She's sick.

She is dying of hunger and she goes with earrings!

- What's wrong with that? - Don't get angry. Alvaro's kidding.

No. You are insensitive to human suffering.

- Give me the jacket. - Wait a minute!

Why are you in a hurry? Calm down.

Here.

Now you can leave.

No. I want an explanation.

I am being spied on, in this house. Enough!

I am not a child.

Don't be a clown.

I found the pawn shop receipt and paid back the earrings.

You've given your mother enough suffering.

I can't stand it anymore!

Don't make such a scene. You don't fool me anymore.

Maria, don't go out.

Listen to me. We can't go on like this.

You don't trust me anymore. We had better break up.

You are young and pretty. You can have a new life.

- I am leaving. - Bye.

Mom! Mom!

I'm not going to America.

I can't stand it anymore. I am so unlucky.

Nobody understands me.

I tried to get you away from this life of poverty,

but you are all against me. They should've let me die.

You don't know, but that night...

at Regina Coeli, with my pants belt...

I know. I shouldn't have told you.

But it was a moment of despair. It's already over.

Don't cry, Maria.

I am not crying for...

I am crying because you are such a liar.

Do you think everyone is stupid?

Why do you always tell lies?

- Alvaro! - Alvaro, let's go.

Go with your friends.

Yes, but wait for me.

Bye, Maria. One day you'll be proud of your husband.

Wait!

Tribuna Monte Mario seats!

- Otello, how is it going? - Badly. Everyone has a ticket.

- It's early. Don't worry. - The game is about to begin.

Look, there are latecomers.

- Where are the other two? - There they are.

- Where? - Down there.

Go on.

Do you need tickets?

Tribuna Monte Mario seats!

Hey! You want to go to jail?

- Why? - Touts are forbidden.

How will I sell them? With my mind?

I deal with idiots. Put them in your pocket and show them like this.

- Alright. - Go. Mario!

Darn it! What'll I do?

We aren't selling anything here.

You sell tickets with that face? You must smile.

- Everyone has a ticket. - You're a real bore. As you wish.

Tribuna Monte Mario seats!

- Sure, you're selling! - Tribuna Monte Mario seats!

- Tickets. - How much?

- 5,000. - How stupid. I sell them for 3,000.

But nobody buys them.

- The game is on television. - Vampires! What will we do?

- We have to lower the price. - Tribuna Monte Mario!

Fair price increase. Tribuna Monte Mario seats.

- One, two? - Nothing.

Fair price increase!

- Mario, see them? For 4,000. - You'll sell them all.

Fair price increase! Tribuna Monte Mario seating!

- Tribuna? 4,000. - Lower the price!

At the right price or nothing.

- How many do you want? - We are a group.

Alvaro! There are two people who'll buy them for 5,000.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

You'll see the game on television.

- Come on. - Sure? Don't embarrass me.

Come on!

Here they are. Good-day.

- We found who will buy them. - How many do you have?

- I have 10, and you? - 10.

- 20. - 8.

- 28. - 12.

- They are 40. - 40... 4 times 5...

- 20. - 200,000 Lira.

A big hit!

- Can't you give a discount? - No.

They are the last ones. It's a special price.

It's right.

So...

- Come get them at the station. - Police.

- I want my money! - Hold still!

We've never done it before. We need to earn some money.

Okay, I understand.

Since you don't usually do it, I'll let you go this time.

But if I see you again, besides confiscating the tickets,

I'll put you in jail. Alright?

- Alright. - Did you understand?

- Thanks, sir. - I want my money back!

- Now stop it... - No, Spartaco is right.

- These are your great ideas. - I want my money back!

- You jerk. You ruined us! - How will I return the money?

- What'll I do about Anita? - You ruined us!

Be quiet! I shouldn't have partnered with losers like you.

You are disgusting! As of today, get by on your own!

- Go away! - Swindler!

Go work, you poor losers!

Go get yourself killed!

I'll swell your head like this and then play ball with it.

- Sooner or later I'll get you. - Leave him alone.

Don't come around again, or I'll beat you up.

Go get yourself killed!

Go Italy!

Come on!

Wait a minute here.

I don't want to see him. Don't insist. He offended me!

He offended me in front of strangers.

- Good-day, Miss Ines. - Peace with your brother-in-law?

Yes, it was him. He insisted.

- I don't want to see him! - Goodbye.

- Goodbye. - How am I supposed to tell you?

Spartaco, come.

Here he is.

Thank your sister. I'd have let you starve to death.

But the thought of seeing Assuntina suffer

was stronger than rightful resentment.

Get your job back, but...

- Behave properly! -Thanks, Pasquale. You're a good man.

Bye.

And you, behave, and don't make him angry.

Come here.

Trim it at the base and do a nice massage.

Spartaco, Alvaro said he's waiting for you at the cafe.

- Both of you, jump in the river! - You jump, short stuff!

Skinner, do you cut hair with an axe?

Parrot! Midget!

Light, light... Careful with the tip.

You must work with the scissors. Slowly. Like this.

- You still defend him? - It's not his fault.

You'll never see the money you gave him.

- Mr. Annibale, he's here! - He's here?

- Dad, it's not his fault! - Scoundrel!

- What did I do? - I'll break his head!

Good for you. You should bust his head!

- I'll give it all back! - Scoundrel!

Delinquent! Inside my house, with my daughter!

- I want to marry your daughter! - You'd like that, huh?

Goodbye. Good for you. Let's go.

Mario, Alvaro is waiting for you at the cafe!

Darn you!

Raise those crates.

Clean the counter.

Straighten that price!

- This one? - Yes. Put some ice.

- Where will I get it? - Then throw water on the mullets.

The tricycle is here. Go get the ice.

- Poor thing! - Mom, it's your fault.

If you hadn't given him those 25,000 Lira...

If I hadn't done it, you would have.

- Me? - I know you.

- Excuse me. How much is this fish? - Why are you touching it?

- I'm seeing if it's fresh. - It's been there since Christmas.

- Did you wake up nervous? - It's none of your business.

- Then you eat it! - Be more polite with customers.

- Here's the ice. - Like that? Break it!

- Should I break it? There! - Darn you!

Otello! Hi, Otello.

- What do you want from him? - Alvaro is waiting at the cafe.

- Don't come around anymore! - Darn you! I fooled you!

If you see that delinquent again, I'll massacre you!

Why should I see him? I like it here. You treat me well.

- Don't be funny! - No.

Guys, I'm very happy to see you gathered here as in the past.

I have no hard feelings, even if sometimes you take advantage.

- But let's forget it. - Yes, it's better.

I had Professor Semprini called.

- Who is he? - You are really ignorant.

- You don't know who Semprini is? - No.

- His brain is this big. - A watermelon?

He wrote about 20 novels like "The Orphan from Piave",

"The Revenge of the Deceased". It's useless to tell you, you don't read.

Here he is!

- Good morning, Professor. - Thank you for coming.

Dear friend, it is a duty.

They're friends. I was telling them about you. They're your admirers.

- They read all your novels. - Very kind.

- Sit down. - Thank you.

- Here we are. - What do you want?

- What time is it? - 11:30.

11:30? I could have something.

A cappuccino, a roll, a sandwich...

- You said it's 11.30? - Yes.

Then do something. Bring me...

- A nice sandwich! - Alright.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

So...

Professor, I need you.

I can do anything, but I'm weak as a writer.

- And you're a maestro. - Modestly speaking!

You know it.

I need a letter.

A letter by someone who is hungry,

an unemployed person

whose mother is seriously sick.

- Is your mother sick? - She's fine. She'll bury you all!

- Calm down, kids! - Don't disturb, or get out.

- So... - Did I make myself clear?

I understand.

But I don't understand the objective.

The objective is here.

What do you mean?

"One year later, having joined her companion in Heaven,

after a life dedicated to the family, the NW..."

- It means "noble woman". - Oh, I see!

"Valeria Zoppetti, born Von Balbesberg."

- It's pronounced "Fon" Balbesberg. - "Fon" Balbesberg.

- Von Balbesberg. - I understand.

It is an excellent and brilliant idea.

- Simple and brilliant. - Alright.

You must write a very touching letter,

and above all, using the word "mamma" often.

I understand.

Now leave me alone. I'll take care of it.

Alright. Do a good job.

Let's go.

- Did you like the idea? - I didn't understand a thing.

- Me either. - You are stupid in everything!

That, too!

Each of us presents himself with a letter and an artistic object.

- And we'll earn money. - Who'll give it to us?

- Children who are suffering. - Why?

If a poor man presents himself to you, with a dying mother,

and he is unemployed, without money, you don't give him anything?

I don't have any money.

But if you had it, and were hit by a great sorrow?

- Yes, in that case. - See? It's psychological.

- Alvaro! - Yes, Professor?

Let's put a person with diabetes.

Diabetes is not that serious. I wouldn't specify.

I'd put "an incurable disease".

I know. A disease that leaves no hope.

- Very well, Professor. - Ad hoc!

I have the right man. His mother died 3 months ago.

Attorney Mazzoni Baralla, un big lawyer.

He is good, and defends the accused who are needy, free of charge.

Then hang on to him, because with this little trick

you'll end up in jail again. - Mario,

if you don't agree, go away. The 3 of us will make the deal.

With one letter, we'll earn from 5,000 to 20,000 Lira.

With 3 letters a day, we'll make an average of 30,000 Lira.

In 10 days, the truck is ours. Well... 15.

- I have finished. - Very good, Professor.

What a genius!

So... "Illustrious", "Respectful"...

- Whatever. - That is fine.

"The wayfarer who during a muggy evening in June,

while walking in a dark alley on the outskirts,

heard a mamma's heart-breaking voice lamenting,

My son, help me! The medicines! The medicines!

That plea, illustrious sir,

was given by my adored mamma,

who had a disease that leaves no hope.

It was addressed to me, impotent in facing so much pain,

and tormented by the anguish of not being able to help her.

Before turning to you, I hesitated a long time,

but 3 things convinced me to dare and, as you see, I am daring.

First: the sorrow that unites us.

You lost your adored mamma, and I, after having lost my "babbo",

am about to lose mine.

Second: the fame of such an illustrious person as you,

fame of a man with a great mind and a great heart.

Third: the dreary poverty and scarcity of food

that characterizes the miserable dwelling

where I live with my poor mamma."

"What can one call this physical anguish, if not hunger?

Sir, accept the offer of this artistic object.

My poor babbo...

My poor babbo in Heaven, my poor mamma...

from her bed of pain, and I will pray for you

and we'll consider you our benefactor angel."

- Attorney. - Let the young man in.

- Come in. - Thank you.

Excuse me.

- Come in. - Thank you.

Sit down.

I read your letter. It was very touching.

Sir, it is touching because it is sincere.

It comes from the heart.

- Are you unemployed? - Unemployed?

The word "unemployed" is putting it mildly.

Look at me. I am in misery.

My life is an odyssey.

I have been asking in offices for years but everything is closed!

Believe me, I really don't know which wall...

to bang my head against.

- Stay seated. - Thank you.

What is wrong with your mother?

My mother?

Illustrious attorney, my mother has an illness here.

And that bronze statue?

We are poor, needy.

But it wasn't always like this. We used to be well off,

as the exquisite manufacture of the statue shows.

Yes, babbo...

- Babbo? - My babbo.

- Babbo. - Babbo!

- Yes, babbo, babbo. - Isn't that how you say it?

- Yes, you say babbo. - Babbo.

Go on.

As I was saying, Babbo had a fabric store.

The business was doing well and we had a lovely home.

Then the crisis struck us.

We were forced to sell everything, piece by piece.

That bronze statue is all that is left.

It was on my poor babbo's desk.

Babbo!

- Babbo. - Yes, my poor father.

Dad... father.

Illustrious attorney, it is the only resource we have left.

Accept it as gratitude for what you will do for me.

Excuse me. With how many "m"s do you write "mamma"?

- Three. - What?

One in the front and two in the back.

It's because of all those "m"s

that I don't like that word.

I fully understand, but what can I do?

Children say "mamma" and as adults they continue saying "mamma".

And because of all those "m"s, I particularly dislike that word.

Do you understand that?

Yes, I do.

But it's not my fault. Relax.

The word is said like this, "mam... ma".

I know. It's written and pronounced "mamma", just as "babbo".

Even Dante says it. Did you ever read it?

- What? - Did you ever read Dante?

Obviously, sir!

But despite Dante, I dislike those words.

Maybe I dislike "mamma" more than "babbo".

I comprehend your tragedy.

There do exist some words that are bothersome.

- You dislike some too? - Of course!

For example, I can't stand the words...

"Soup", "mold", "swindle".

You can't imagine the torment of a man like me,

who lives with words and despises words.

I understand your state of mind, your tragedy.

But what can one do? We all have a cross to bear.

I hope this doesn't stop you from taking interest in my case.

Illustrious attorney, we all have one... "mama".

I took away an "m".

- Good morning. - Excuse me. What do you want?

I must deliver this letter and this object to the attorney.

The attorney is busy now.

- If you want to wait... - Alright.

Sit down.

My father from the Heavens, my mother from her bed of pain, and I

pray for you, and consider you our benefactor angel.

- Sir, allow me. - No.

- Just one kiss. - No, but come see me.

I will recommend you to some colleague.

I don't work on a steady basis anymore.

- I see. But allow me. - No.

Just one kiss.

Thank you, sir.

What do you want? Do you need help?

Me? No... Actually...

Yes. I...

- I want to open a case. - Good! Speak freely.

An attorney is like a confessor. Come in.

Please. Sit down.

What is it, young man? Sit down.

- Tell me, what did you do? - Actually, I didn't do anything.

You have a good boy's face.

You must've made a mistake without wanting to.

Your being short,

which always creates in man an inferiority complex,

will be extenuating circumstances.

Years ago, I had a man who killed his mother-in-law acquitted

because she always called him "Short stuff! Short stuff!"

That young man was right. He was released a short while ago.

"Couple", "puddle", "muggy", "foggy"...

- Hideous words exist right? - I...

That short guy is shrewd. He'll surely get 4,000 Lira.

- 5,000. Right, Alvaro? - The more there is, the better.

Hey, look there!

That's the professor. What's he doing here?

He went to the lawyer! Professor!

Scoundrel!

- Sir! - Here I am.

Will you help me get on the bus?

- He's swiping the money! - Stop! There's the police!

Go on.

- He tricked us! - Miserable devil!

You were right. The professor's brain is this big.

- The short guy? - Go on.

- Did he end up badly? - That son of a...

Let's go.

Well?

That madman said to me, "Doesn't the word puddle bother you?"

I said it didn't, and he almost had a fit.

"You are a criminal. Criminals are all insensitive."

I was sitting on a chair looking at the door.

Then he said, "Give me an initial 50,000 Lira for expenses."

- And then? - I was already on the stairs.

- What a wise guy! - Wait a moment.

- We meet again after so long. - How's it going?

Alvaro knows everyone.

He knows those who've been in jail.

He is right. Not just delinquents go to jail.

- True. You are still free. - Short stuff, don't joke so much.

Come see me one of these days. Bye.

- When a Pope dies, another comes. - Why?

- You know who he is? - No, who is he?

- The Banca d'Italia manager. - That guy?

Not the real one! He have an opportunity.

Virgilio, because of the friendship that ties us,

will give me 10,000 Lira bills at 1,000 each.

- Fake. - No. Imitations, reproduced.

- So we'll all go to jail. - Why to jail?

Nobody notices. They're perfect.

Besides, they could have given them to you.

- I'm not in on it. - Me either.

- Alright. - Gray is nice too.

What?

- I like red more. - But gray...

Guys, in one week it could be ours.

With 4,000 Lira we'll make 40,000. With 40,000 we'll make 400,000.

With 400,000 we'll make 4,000,000 and go to jail. I'm not in on it.

- Me either. - I don't want to go to jail.

- What brakes! - Who'll give us the 4,000 Lira?

- What? - Who'll give us the 4,000 Lira?

The 4,000 Lira...

- Not this time. - Come on! Come on!

Get him!

An offer for abandoned children?

- No, thank you... Miss! - What're you doing?

A good deed. Do you have change for 10,000?

- I'll look. - You have no change?

- I'll give it to you. - Forget it. I'll change it.

- 7,000, 8,000... I've only 9,200. - Okay. Keep the change.

- No. Are you crazy? - What are you doing?

You want to give away 800 Lira? Do you steal money?

We'll help those in need.

- Real gentlemen give very little. - Real gentlemen are shrewd.

Are you busy after lunch?

No. I'll go out with my sister or some girlfriend.

- Or maybe stay at home. Why? - Just to talk.

It's strange. A beautiful girl like you...

Miss, can you change 10,000? The taxi doesn't have change.

You're not checking it? What if it's fake?

Why should it be fake? It never happened to me.

- What were you saying earlier? - Me? Oh, yes...

I asked you what you were doing after lunch.

I told you, nothing in particular, nothing important.

- And you? - Me?

I don't know. Goodbye.

A cabin, miss.

- One, two, three... - Don't push.

- One for me too. - I just changed.

Alright.

Come on! How long are they taking?

You could've changed the 10,000 Lira in Rome.

You owe me money for the bus, ice-cream, beach house and train.

It's 60, 320, 410...

- It's 1,480. - I'll change it now.

There.

- Is someone else here? - They made a mistake.

- It's a bad day. - What are you saying?

- That beach cabin is occupied. - What?

- Go on inside. - It's yours, but we paid for it.

Calm down.

- Marcella! - You must wait!

The mix up must have happened at the ticket office.

The trip, the heat... One gets nervous. She's usually calm.

- Let's go. - My dress!

- What does she want? - My dress goes here.

- Where should I put mine? - On the stool.

Did you buy the clothes rack?

It has three hooks. One for the blouse, one for the skirt,

and one for the bra. Even if you've nothing to hold up.

- You can't put your dress there. - You are arrogant. I'll do this.

- Pick it up. - No. It's fine here.

- Pick it up! - What is going on?

- Okay, I'll pick it up. - What manners!

When you stop acting like an idiot, come for me at the pool.

- Darn! - Good thing she was nice and calm!

Excuse me.

- Excuse me. - Hey, don't you try that.

Oh, no!

Are you diving or not?

It's the first time I dive from a 5 meter height.

Hurry. Don't be a dunce.

- I want to dive with you. - Leave me alone. Go on.

- Let's dive together. Your hand. - Let go of my hand!

Dive, beauties at the beach!

- Waiter! - Yes, sir?

How much is it?

It's 680.

Forget it. I think I have coins.

- Keep the change. - Thank you.

- Look. Which would you bet on? - None.

But if I had to, I would choose that one.

- Which one? - Number 6.

- He's Agamemnon. Let's go. - Where?

- To bet on Agamemnon. - No, I was kidding.

Let's try.

Before we bet, let's see what it pays.

Agamemnon...

It pays 8 to 1. Bet 1,000 Lira.

- Why don't you bet? - You picked him.

Go on. Not with these guys. I don't like them.

Those guys. Go bet.

- Maria! - What is it?

I'll go. There are too many men here.

- 1,000 Lira that Agamemnon wins. - I'll change 10,000.

5,000, 6,000, 7,000, 8,000, 9,000, 10,000.

8,000 for 1,000. Agamemnon as winner.

Let's go.

- Did you see? - Why are you so excited?

- With 1,000 Lira, you get 8,000! - Hi, Alvaro!

- Hi, Carlo. - But the horse must win.

It's sure that we'll win.

Where did the 10,000 Lira come from?

And advance on my deal, my mediation. Come.

He's last!

- He is gaining. - He's picking up.

He's fifth. He'll make it!

Alvaro!

Come on!

Great! Agamemnon!

Let's go get the money. Excuse me.

You are lucky! You did well in choosing that horse.

- I told you. - You 2 seem happy. Did you win?

- Yes, 8,000 on Agamemnon. - You bet on Agamemnon?

- Yes. Maria chose it. - It was my idea.

- Great race! - At the start, he made us suffer.

- Then he picked up. - Right.

- Go get your money. - Alright. See you later.

- I'll see you here. - How's life going?

- Fine. - What are you doing?

I'm opening up a travel agency, transportation...

I'm negotiating with FIAT for some trucks.

- Then we'll be competitors. - No. I'm going big style.

- I see... Best wishes. - Thanks.

Maria!

- Alvaro. - Love, you won!

- We need a lot of these. - I wish!

Let's see the horses of the next race.

- Cotica is here! - Who is he?

He's a guy who knows everything. He knows horses very well.

Wait for me at the track. I'll go talk to him.

- Alright. - Good luck.

- Alvaro is always optimistic. - Right.

If he weren't, I think it would be worse.

Poor Alvaro! He was unfortunate.

- He's lucky to be your husband. - Oh, sure!

I always considered it something fortunate.

- Valerio, please. - Excuse me.

- Give me some advice. - These are sure.

On the third one, bet on Igor.

On the fourth, bet on Volturno.

And on the fifth, bet on Armagnac.

- Are you sure? - Yes. You can bet your shirt.

- Don't trick me! - No, even your shirt.

Bye.

- Waiter! - Yes?

I'm coming.

- What stuff is this? - Fish soup.

No. They are fish heads and clam shells.

- There's octopus too. - It chanced to be there.

- It's stuff forgotten in the fridge. - No, it's fresh.

- Be quiet. What do you know? - We fished it this morning.

Where did you fish it? You want to teach me?

- It comes from Sardinia. - May I bring you something else?

Bring me the bill. At least that will be fresh.

- As you wish. - You never have a moment's peace.

- You are always agitated. - And you are naive.

- You never protest. - No.

- Know how those like you end up? - They end up badly!

- Here. - Here you are.

- You put the fish soup? - You ordered it.

Remove it, or we won't pay.

It doesn't matter. We'll pay and never come back.

- You should've been a missionary. - More than 100 people ate it

and nobody complained. - They are people who eat anything!

Now stop it!

- What do you want? - Here.

- No, you're not paying. - What is going on?

- She says the soup isn't good. - Ok, don't pay. You can go.

I don't want gifts from anyone. Otello, pay.

- Forget it. - No!

- We can't change it. - You don't have change?

- No. - I'll give it to you.

With the change, buy bicarbonate soda for who ate the fish soup.

- But miss... - Listen, manager.

You owe me 3,480 Lira in all.

Change this 10,000 Lira piece! Or do you want to frame it?

- Come! Let's go. - What if you're afraid?

- No, it flies slowly. - But it flies!

- So you are afraid! - Me? No!

Excuse me!

- Two. - Right away.

- You don't have change? - No.

Go on. I don't have the change now.

- I'll manage to change it. - When will you give me the change?

Don't worry. When you return, I'll have changed it.

There are lots of people.

- Mario! - You don't trust me?

- Go on, and have fun. - Alright.

- Two tickets. - Right away.

I've no change. I must change for that gentleman too.

- Well? - Wait. Fattori!

- Mario, do you feel sick? - No.

Excuse me, can you land somewhere else?

- What? - Can you land in Piazza Navona?

- You are kidding! - You are crazy!

You're a chicken. We're getting off. Don't be afraid.

- Here we are. - Come on.

- We are landing. - Everything okay?

Mario!

Anita!

- Oh, God! - You feel that sick?

- A lot! - What'll we do now?

My stomach. Let's leave.

Darn! He had said to even bet my shirt on it.

- Darn him! - Relax. It's over.

- Where is he? I'll bust him! - Calm down.

None of the horses he suggested won. Not one!

- How much did you lose? - Nothing.

- What? - I had 3,500 Lira and still have it.

So we only lost 1,000 Lira.

No, you had 10,000.

Yes, but you can't understand these things.

Really? How many things can I not understand?

- Let's go. - Alright.

Two for San Paolo.

- Two for Rome. - You don't have change?

No, I'm sorry.

- This is fake. - But...

You're right. But you are stupid.

Only you could accept a counterfeit bill.

Excuse me, my boyfriend is naive.

If you want to change... Your boyfriend, not the bill.

I'll think about it.

Here.

- Are you sure it is fake? - Scoundrel. You've come to this!

I'm scared!

Here's the tunnel! Come on!

Be quiet!

- Young man, hold still. - How brazen!

- That is why he brought us here. - What do you want from me?

- He touched me in the tunnel. - Idiot!

- What are you saying? - Go play with your toys.

In my parts they don't do these things.

Who do you think you are? Marlon Brando?

Go to your mom!

- I'll put 2,000 Lira. - Put the money.

Turn the one with the note.

The one in the center.

- You can choose it. - I'll play again.

The one with the note underneath, wins.

This one wins. Look.

This is the card that wins.

- This one loses and this one too. - 3,000 Lira..

- You turn. Shall we do a last one? - No, this one.

You turn. This is the one with the note.

- I could have... - This one with the note wins.

This one wins. Look carefully. Just find the one with the note.

- Can I change the 10,000 Lira? - Alright.

Here's 10,000 to you.

- Thank you. - You must put the money on top.

The police!

What is going on? But...

- How did it go? - Well. For you, Miss Ines.

The short stuff was shrewder than us.

- Come here. - I gave it

to the people who do the 3 cards game.

- Let me see. - Here they are.

- You see? - One, two, three....

We'll buy 10 bills worth 10,000 and make 100,000.

- Why? And you? - It went badly.

Small inconveniences.

- But these are fake. - No!

- They're fake! I'll show you. - They're good.

Miss, are these good or fake?

Even a child could see.

A child, but not this idiot.

- Then you're really stupid. - You noticed now?

How is it possible? Darn! But then, I...

I'll throw myself in the river. I'll throw myself in the river!

- He'll really do it. - Don't worry.

Unfortunately, he knows how to swim.

Idiot!

Spartaco! Spartaco!

Don't do it. It can happen to anyone.

Yes, but you said I am stupid.

I meant to say you were a bit naive.

Thank you.

- Maria. - Yes?

3 girls are looking for Alvaro. What did he do?

- What do they want? - I don't know. Let's find out.

- Don't worry. - We can pass by tomorrow.

Why did we come here? We'll give a bad impression.

If you want my husband, he isn't here. Can you tell me?

- We'll come by tomorrow. - Who are you?

- Are you Otello's girlfriend? - I was.

- I am Spartaco's sister. - Don't cry. Cry later.

- She is Mario's fiancée. - Not really his fiancée.

They are the mother and wife. Let's talk to them.

We came to tell your husband

that if he doesn't leave those 3 kids alone, he'll end up badly.

He plagiarized mine.

He doesn't go to the shop anymore. He offended my husband who loves him.

I can't stand it. My father beats me and Mario disappeared.

Otello hasn't shown up in two days. You must tell your husband...

I can't tell him a thing because he left. I don't see him anymore.

Oh, great!

Excuse us, madam.

First you disturb us and then you apologize?

Those 3 are not minors. Tie them to the bed post!

Tie your son with a rope around his neck!

- I'll push you down the stairs! - Try it!

Thank God that I am a well mannered person.

Please! Miss, calm down. Let's reason in tranqulity.

We'd better find out where they are and what they're doing.

- The bicycle dealer told me that... - What?

He saw my brother at Porta Portese buying 4 used hats.

- 4 hats? - Why buy hats in July?

Short stuff, you go ahead. They'll notice you less.

If you find the right guy, whistle, and we'll come.

Guys, wake up. We're in action.

Police.

Vice Squad. Give me your IDs.

I guarantee for the lady.

- Are you a lawyer? - Yes, and she is my girlfriend.

- I'm sorry, but our duty... - Please, Brigadier.

- They are so boring! - Security is needed.

Yes, it is necessary.

- Nothing doing. - What bad luck!

- How's it going? - He was a lawyer.

We'd better leave them alone.

- He went and found a lawyer! - Well, they don't wear a uniform!

There are many lawyers in Italy. They are everywhere.

What are you doing here? Go look.

Alright.

Let's go.

- What are you doing here? - What we feel like doing.

What?

We can't be at the Pincio in the evening in a car?

No. You were doing obscene acts with a so-called lady.

- How dare you? - We are husband and wife.

Be quiet. I'll take care of it.

You can't park in dark lanes

doing things you could do in your home.

- I'm going to fine you. - Go ahead. I am alright.

I am Commendator Vincenzo Servadoi.

Write that. Go on!

- Write, Brigadier. - Write!

I'll write too, but in the papers. It's shameful.

These things don't happen in France. They favor tourism!

This will not end here.

I'll show you who I am. Did you write?

- Yes. - Very good, thank you.

- What manners! - We had come to chat...

We'd better leave. These things makes me nervous.

But this will not end here.

These are really into it!

Everyone stop. Police!

Didn't you know it was forbidden to kiss in public?

- Well? - They are foreigners.

Let's leave them alone, or it's bad for tourism.

Enough. With lawyers, "commendatori" and pilgrims,

we won't make one Lira. - If you want, we'll back out.

But if we find the right couple,

maybe an important person or an adulterer...

he'll give us 100,000 Lira to avoid a scandal.

- Anyway... - Look there.

- Let's go here. - No, it's dark.

- Better. Come a minute. - No...

Come forward! Come on!

This is it. We'll catch them red-handed.

- It could be an parliament member. - With that face?

What sort of face does a parliament member have?

- Be the lookout, and don't disturb. - Be quiet.

Let's move quietly.

- Stop! - Who are you? What do you want?

Police. Vice Squad. You two are being fined.

- Leave the lady out of it. - Calm down. Your IDs, please.

- Let me see who you are first. - Pull out your IDs.

- First pull out yours. - Enough. Pay for the fine

or I'll take you and the girl to the station.

- Alright, let's go to the station. - Better if you pay.

Do I look like an idiot?

- Let's go to the station. - Let's go to the station.

Help! Help!

- Come on! - Let him go. I'll hit him!

Kick him!

Help!

3 bandits assaulted us. Down there!

In the stomach.

- The police! - Go! Go!

Stop, or I'll shoot!

- Stop. - Stop!

"Article 628: holdups."

"Whoever, to obtain for himself or others an illegal profit,

through violence to the person, or with threats,

comes into possession of other people's property

is punished with prison from 3 to 10 years."

Write 7 years.

"The sentence is increased to one third of a half,

if the violence or threat is committed with weapons

or by a disguised person or by several people gathered."

Write 3... Oh, here! This pertains to us more.

"Article 630. Whoever kidnaps a person,

with the intent of obtaining illegal profit for himself or others,

is punished with prison from 8 to 15 years."

Put 10... No, just a moment, plus aggravating circumstances

for misrepresentation and association in delinquency...

10 plus 3 is 13.

"Article 347."

"Whoever usurps a public function

or assignments given to public employees

is punished with prison up to 2 years."

- How far have we gotten? - 25, Lieutenant.

- You! How old are you? - 21.

21 plus 25... is 46.

- And you? How old are you? - 22.

22 plus 25 is 47.

And you?

I...

- Spartaco! - Hey, Spartaco!

We got information

but couldn't find the assaulted couple.

I asked information at the Trastevere station.

Those kids don't have a record.

Maybe it was really a joke.

I want to believe that, but keep them inside until tomorrow.

- Let's hope the lesson is useful. - Alright.

And he's outside! That scum!

He'll go swim at the river and to the movies with his wife!

- And we get 25 years! - Be quiet!

I don't even want to think about it!

They're coming.

Well?

The lieutenant wants to believe that it was a joke.

I don't, but I'll let you go because I know you'll do it again.

And next time we'll have the proof that we don't have now.

- Yes. - And you'll get 20 years in jail.

- Thank you. - Out! Go away!

Maria, coffee.

I prepared bread and omelet. You want 2 figs too?

No, thanks.

- Bye. - You're not saying goodbye to him?

- No. I don't want to see him. - He's very ill.

He had such a face when he came home last night.

He told me why he'd been away the last two days.

- Three! - He was in Velletri on business.

You still believe what he says?

No, but he swore he would change life.

It's not the first time.

You're right, but maybe this time he is sincere. Say goodbye.

Let's hope so!

I am doing this for you.

- My gosh! - Bye.

- Oh, God, it hurts! - Bye.

Oh, God!

- What's the matter? - He said he fell.

- Maybe we should call a doctor. - I don't know.

- Who is it? - It's me, Righetto.

Otello, Mario and Spartaco are out.

They're waiting for you under the Cestio Bridge. It's urgent.

- I'll get dressed. Got a ciagrette? - I do great business with you.

Don't worry. Give me the cigarette.

- I'll take care of your future. - Oh, sure!

Hi!

Guys! How's it going?

- Here he is! - Otello! Hi, Mario.

- Hi, misfit. - Short stuff, what are you doing?

I left you alone one minute and you get caught.

I would have gone to the laywer this morning.

I have big news. Accountant Omiccioli was released.

- Oh, he's a great one! - Alvaro never abandons us.

Alvaro, you were right. One thinks of everything in jail.

Right. You were in only one night. Just think of me...

What if we'd gotten 25 years?

- Too bad! - How could you have stayed 25 years?

- Know what we thought of last night? - What?

- Take this! - Scoundrels!

- Leave my finger! - Bastard!

- Scoundrel! - Stop him, Otello!

- Hold still! - Bastard!

- Leave me alone! - Come on, Otello!

- Hold still! - You are three against one.

- We got an idea. - Let me go. Hold still!

- Darn you! - And your grandfather!

Bastards!

- Stay there! - And wash yourself.

- The problem is he'll surface. - Darn you!

- Your ideas are over, huh? - Bastard!

- We have an idea now. - 25 are too few, huh?

- You go in that long! - Watch out for the bridge.

- Don't drown. Look. - You'll sink!

- Excuse me. Please. - Please.

You do it.

- Spartaco, where are you going? - I'll be right back.

Spartaco!

- Good morning. - Good morning, miss.

- Miss Ines! - What is it?

- Who is he? - Who?

- That young man. - He is my boyfriend.

- So short? - What's wrong with that?

Well, then you and I...

- You and I... what? - You didn't understand?

Understand what? You never told me anything.

But then... then I...

Then I'll throw myself in the river. I'll jump in the river!

We'll put a nice tub gurnard, due big shrimp...

and octopus! Look, it's still moving.

Maybe it's a good idea if I get the dogfish.

Ok. You'll fry it, then.

- Is this ok? - Yes, fine.

- Look how lovely. All of it? - No.

Not all of it. How many pieces?

- We are 6. Make it 3. - I'll cut.

Not the side of the head. Lower.

- The pieces will be too small. - It's better.

- Then I'll cut. - Wait. What nice shrimp!

- I could make rice with shrimp. - Yes.

Otello! Otello, may I?

I haven't told anyone yet.

Alright, but without yelling.

Madam!

- Madam, listen. - What is it, dear?

- What? - Do as I say. Go on.

- What manners! - Go on.

They are alive!

The sea has come to Rome!

- Righetto, bring some ice. - They are alive!

- They are alive! - Fresh fish!

Anita, there are more people.

I'm coming. Yes.

Here's the wine.

Hello? Four? Yes, come.

I can't stand it anymore.

You wanted an elegant place? And now you work.

- Go on. - Ready?

4 spaghetti alla carbonara and 4 filets, rare.

- Come on! - Alright.

- I can't stand it anymore. - Another 5 foreigners came.

- Is everyone coming to eat here? - Come on!

- How many more? - You're already tired? Work!

- I am working. - Alvaro, your wife is here.

You finish.

What a day! I would need 4 arms to please them all.

- Have you finished? Can we go? - Yes.

Alvaro, there was an accident. We must haul a car.

At this hour? They can't go on without me here.

- It's work! What'll I do now? - Go home. I'll join you.

- Alright. Bye. - Hey, we're not eating today?

- Go work. Hurry! - Ok. We'll settle accounts later.

It's true. He who has gunpowder shoots

and who doesn't listens to the shots.

- They are exploiting us here. - We know that.

Think if this truck were ours!

- We could make lots of money. - But it's not ours.

It isn't, because we have no spirit of initiative.

- No, because we don't have money. - The money can be found.

Oh, really? Where?

Where? I have a wonderful idea!