Original subtitles

[heavy, ominous music]

[police radio chatter]

[distant police siren wails]

[officers chattering]

- [Major] DI Major, DI Carver.

- [Carver] Fill us in.

- Victim is male, mid-30s.

Probable cause of death:

multiple blows to the head with a heavy vase.

- Witnesses?

- Body was found by the cleaner, she's got a key.

No sign of the victim's wife.

- This is it, Roy, we're back.

- Well done, mate.

You've earnt it.

- Murder, or maybe even double murder, touch wood.

- No, best not touch anything.

- Could be organised crime, serial killer, who knows?

- Maybe we should try and find out.

Know, what with that being our job.

- Oh, we will, mate.

We're the best.

[pats arm]

[distant police radio chatter]

[camera flash popping]

[eerie, intense music]

Yeah.

[shoe squeaks]

Ooh.

- There's your weapon.

Cash and jewellery untouched,

along with the victim's passport.

The wife's passport is missing.

- Gets better, this could be international.

- Why are you in such a good mood?

Can't just be the brutal murder.

- Look, I was saving this news for later,

but I've moved back in with Kelly.

- What?

[chuckles]

- This pattern of blood spatter is consistent

with a sustained-- - Can you shut up a minute?

You've moved back in?

- Well, early days, I'm in the spare room,

and we're trying to get some kind of routine back, you know?

- That's a bit full-on, innit?

- Oh, the marriage is at a crossroads, Roy.

We have to turn one way or the other,

we can't just carry on.

- That's a T-junction. - Is it?

- Sir, before the blood dries,

I think we should have a look--

- [Carver] What about the other fella she's been seeing?

- Okay, we talked about that, it's over.

- Well, you don't know whether or not

Kelly's still got feelings for this other fella.

- I know you're trying to protect me, Roy,

but I'm doing this with my eyes open.

- Sir, I think we should look at this--

- Can you keep your mouth shut for a minute, please!

Jesus! - Carver!

- I'm sorry.

- You all right, Roy?

I'll deal with all this then, shall I?

[distant helicopter blades whirring]

Well, come on then, we ain't got all day.

[haunting electronic music]

[officers chattering]

- That's great, Mike.

So now that we've established that

your drinking is related to anxiety,

triggered by loud noises and aggression.

[door slams]

- Why the fuck didn't you tell me?

- Roy, I'm, what,

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm with a patient.

- What, you forgot to mention it?

- This is about John moving back in?

- I don't know, Kelly, how many other secrets have you got?

- I'm really sorry about that,

it's just that John insisted on telling you himself.

- Yeah, he told me at a murder scene,

standing over a caved-in skull.

Told me how you've welcomed him back with open arms

and what a happy marriage you've got again.

- No, no.

No, I've just.

I have decided that my marriage is worth a chance,

and then, if it doesn't work out,

then I need to give it the space to die naturally before I--

- Oh look, drop the psychobabble bullshit,

you're not in one of your therapy sessions now.

- Thank you.

- Look, it's not like you were happy with John

before he got shot.

You told me you were about to leave him.

- No, but things have changed, he's changed.

- How would you know?

You've hardly spent any time with him.

- Well, I'm gonna spend time with him now.

- Let me save you the trouble.

He's still an arrogant, selfish, gobshite.

- Says the man shouting at me. [scoffs]

[sighs]

[nervous chuckle]

- I think this would be a really good time

for us to have a chat about

therapist/patient confidentiality.

[funky rock music]

- I need you to collate traffic camera footage

on the area surrounding the crime scene.

Sorry, I've blanked on your name.

- Well, the name you usually call me is Judy,

but I'm actually-- - Judy, that's it.

ASAP if you would.

- [PC Williams] My name's not Judy, you twat.

- Roy, what do you think of this vase?

- It's the murder weapon.

- Not the actual one but yeah, High Street, 16.99

- What are you thinking?

- Well, I just thought it was the kind of thing

that Kelly would like.

Is it weird, though?

Giving her something I saw used as a murder weapon?

- No, I think you should definitely give it to her.

Just make sure you tell her where you got the idea from.

- Cheers, I'll give it to her later.

We're nipping home together for lunch, jacket potato.

- John, we're lead investigators on a murder case.

We've got a press conference at half-12.

You can't just nip home for a potato.

- Well, you just went AWOL at the crime scene,

what was all that about?

- I was keeping tabs on Gilbert and Ryle.

Look, I think it's time we let the boss know

she's got bent coppers in the unit.

- I thought you wanted to get more evidence first.

- Look, we need to do whatever it takes.

It's time they got what's coming to them.

No matter how many long hours we have to work.

[vase slams]

- I'll get Judy to gift wrap it.

[suspicious music]

- That's a hell of an accusation.

Two bent coppers at the heart of my unit?

Well, that'd make me a damn fool.

Have you got any evidence for this?

- That time you arrested a horse?

- Not as such, boss.

DI Major got the information through reading their lips.

- It's an AI thing, probably.

- What, so if I mouthed the lyrics to Hotel California say,

you could read them? - Hm.

[inaudible]

- Did you get that? - Yes, boss.

And it does sound like a lovely place.

- Okay, you've convinced me.

But I still need hard evidence.

- So, what are we meant to do?

- Well first, don't raise any suspicions.

[computer beeping and whirring]

One-way blackout glass.

Offers complete privacy

if you want to talk to me about any developments.

- Boss, you know that you can see through that

from the other side?

- No, it's one-way glass.

- Yeah, that's what the one-way bit means.

- What, people can see in

now? - Yeah.

[officers chattering]

- So all the time I've had this fitted,

you've always been able to see in?

- Yeah.

- Last Wednesday morning, for example?

- Yeah.

[sighs]

[sighs]

- About Gilbert and Ryle, boss,

we think they're taking orders

from a criminal known as The Juggler.

Does that name mean anything to you?

Boss? - Huh?

- We'll investigate further, boss.

[computer beeping]

Keep you updated.

- Well, she was no help.

- No, she said we needed evidence.

Let's get some.

Follow my lead.

- [Major] Carver?

[suspicious music]

- All right, you two?

How's tricks?

- DI Carver.

Metal Mickey.

- Look, we just wanted to say thanks.

We appreciate all the hard work you're putting in

looking for John's killer.

Don't we?

- Huh.

- Oh, maybe it's time we got over this thing between us.

- What thing?

- Taking the piss out of each other.

- But the problem is your mate's got a chip on his shoulder.

And a chip in his head and his spine.

- She means like computer chips.

- It's only banter.

What, with him being part IT.

- AI. - Whatever.

- You're both twats.

How's that for banter? - No.

So, do you fancy it, then?

Bevvie after work?

- Yeah, let's just drop everything and go out with you two?

- Well, you were sad when

they never asked us to that pool tournament.

- Shut up.

What

time were you thinking?

- Seven?

Excuse me.

- [Gilbert] Did you tell her about the glass?

- [Carver] Yeah.

- Thank Christ someone did.

[ominous music]

- What's this?

- Draught Commission report into police AI.

It's the decision on whether Major lives or dies.

- This isn't due for another week.

- You know me by now, I have skills.

Read that.

- This committee is minded to countermand Directive 5B

with immediate effect.

- It's another way of saying switch him off,

read the next bit.

- This is another way of saying switch him off.

- Yeah.

- But he'd stopped the Head of the Committee

from getting shot.

How can they switch him off?

- Well, since you ask,

they fire a powerful electromagnetic pulse

directly into the base of the.

Oh no, see, you mean, why would they?

- So hack it.

You said you've got skills.

Change the report.

- I can't hack their brains, Roy.

You want them to change their minds,

try solving some more fucking crimes,

and ideally, in the next week.

- Fine.

Okay, we'll solve this murder and Bluefinch,

and we'll expose Gilbert and Ryle, total focus.

Right, we'll work harder

than we've ever worked in our lives.

- This

is a nice potato.

Fluffy.

- It's a lovely vase, thank you.

- And we know it won't break,

even if you really whack it on something.

- [TV Weatherperson] While in the south, it will be dry.

[Kelly groans]

- Do you know what's strange?

- Hm?

- Even when I was dead,

you still recorded my favourite shows.

- "World Series of Darts," "Ice Road Truckers."

- Did I?

- You don't watch any of those shows, only me.

Well and, and Roy of course.

He loves "Ice Road Truckers" more than I do.

If I didn't know better,

do you know what I'd think?

- No, what?

- I'd think you knew I was coming back.

- Well, you can watch them all now, so that's good.

- No, I'm deleting 'em.

I don't wanna watch darts, Kelly.

All I wanna do is spend every spare minute with you.

Al, play something romantic.

["The Stripper" by David Rose]

- Al, don't.

This isn't about grand gestures like deleting the darts.

Let's try and just get back to our old routines.

- I don't wanna go back to old routines.

Old routines was me being at work all the time,

neglecting you.

Keeping the streets safe.

- We both made mistakes. - You didn't.

- [TV Reporter] Good morning.

- Oh, look at that. [chuckles]

- Oh, hello.

Look who's on TV.

Al, full screen.

- Yesterday, police were called to a residence

in response to an emergency call.

The victim was identified as Mr. Grant Barlow.

We're currently seeking a woman in her 30s

to assist with our inquiries.

- Is this the case that you're working on, John?

- Working?

I'm leading the inquiry.

- But be assured our best officers

are working around the clock on this.

- Shouldn't you be sitting in that chair?

- This is the only chair for me.

- 39 missed calls.

- I know, that's why I put it on silent.

- Oh my god, John you need to get to work.

Get up, you need to get to work.

- What, what, we haven't had pudding.

[tense music]

- [Police Radio] All units, code two.

Murder suspect Rebecca Barlow's phone has been located.

Circulating co-ordinates.

- [Carver] DI Carver, on my way.

[engine revving]

[tense music]

[ATM beeping]

- Come on.

- Mrs. Barlow? - No.

- Funny, that's the name on your card.

Bit of cash for the weekend?

- That's right.

- [ATM] Please take your 1.5 million Columbian pesos.

- [Carver] Wanna follow me?

- Yeah.

- Not gonna run away? - No.

[mellow electronic music]

- Mrs. Barlow, you don't seem very upset

about the death of your husband, why is that?

- Sorry I'm late.

Have I missed much?

- For the benefit of the tape,

DI Major had entered the interview room.

Mrs. Barlow, I'd like to show you something.

[ominous music]

It's the scene of your husband's death.

- How about this one?

Me and my wife, Kelly, in Santorini.

I don't know if you've been there,

but I have to say it is stunning.

And this is us at Wagamama.

Not a special occasion,

but it's one of my favourite pictures--

- DI Major, I think we should focus

on the murder investigation.

- Well, I just thought some photos of a loving relationship

might provoke a reaction,

but fine, we'll do it your way, Roy. [scoffs]

- How were things between you?

Would you say it was a happy marriage?

- Well, we've had our ups and downs, Roy,

but so does everyone.

One thing I will say though is--

- I was talking to Mrs. Barlow.

- Sorry, course you were.

- What was you gonna say, though?

- What?

- [Carver] You said "One thing I will say."

- Well it's, it's just that I've realised

that the key to a happy marriage is devotion.

Total focus on the other person, you know?

- Some people would say independence is important,

spending time apart.

- Oh, I think he's romantic.

Go home, be with your wife.

- You think?

- [Mrs. Barlow] Yeah.

- Don't listen to her,

she's just clubbed her husband to death.

- I didn't.

- With all due respect, Roy, at least she's been married.

You haven't.

- Unlike you, who had a very rocky marriage, actually.

- Which is exactly why I'm devoting myself to Kelly now.

- What, and forgetting everything else?

Look, mate, they're gonna switch it off,

I've read the report.

This is serious.

- Look, if they're gonna switch me off,

all I wanna do with the time that I've got

is be with my wife.

For the benefit of the tape,

DI Carver is shaking his head.

- Fine, if that's what you want, give up!

I'm sure I'll manage without ya.

So will Kelly.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Well, she found a shoulder to cry on last time you died.

I'm sure she's still got that fella's number.

- Why you being such an asshole?

- To make you face the truth.

Look, you can either roll over and die,

or you can do your job.

Crack this case, nail Gilbert and Ryle,

and show those bastards on the Committee

that you're worth saving.

[heavy, sombre music]

- So, Mrs. Barlow,

where were you when your husband was murdered?

Take as long as you like.

We're not going anywhere.

[blows] [balloon stretching]

I knew it'd be worth it in the end.

- What, she didn't tell us anything.

- No, but I did make

this smashing balloon octopus for Kelly.

- Lovely, you can give it to her tomorrow.

- Aye?

- Well, we've got a date tonight, remember?

- I've never been computer dating, have you?

- Yeah, a few times. - No, he's not a computer.

- That's all right, it's not a date.

- Come on then, Robocop.

- We've done that one already.

- Oh sorry, Robocop 2.

[both cackling]

- Do we have this?

- Look, we need evidence.

So be nice and don't rise to the insults.

- Three pints of lager, and a can of WD-40 please, barman.

[Ryle cackling]

- Be nice.

- We'll get them pissed and maybe they'll open up.

- [Major] Roger that.

[funky electronic dance music]

- [Major] Cheers.

- Cheers.

[Gilbert mimics robot buzzing]

Like a robot.

- [Major] Here we go.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- One more, one more.

- [Gilbert/Ryle] Hey.

- How are you getting on with the case?

- The things that I know about, you would not believe.

- Yeah, what things?

- Things you wouldn't even think about.

- Keep drinking.

Here you go, there you go, look.

Oh buddy, you've had enough, you've had enough.

[pool balls clacking]

[Gilbert sobbing]

[tense, pensive music]

- Was a waste of time.

- DI Gilbert told us a lot.

- Yeah, about his awful divorce and living with his mum,

and no one loves him apart from his cat.

- So I asked him the cat's name.

- Why?

- Because I bet you any money that's his computer password.

And that's gonna give us all the evidence we need

that they're as bent as a bottle of nine-bob notes.

- Do you think he'd be that stupid?

Well, try it.

- What was it now, began with a B, I think.

- Oh, for fuck's sake.

- Billy.

[typing]

[computer beeps]

Bertie?

[typing]

[computer beeps]

Hang on.

- What are you doing?

[phone keys tapping]

[phone ringing]

- [Mrs. Gilbert] Hello?

- Hello, Mrs. Gilbert, I'm so sorry to wake you.

This is DI Major here from Simon's work.

- [Mrs. Gilbert] Oh hello there, how are you?

- Very good, thanks, how are you?

- [Mrs. Gilbert] Yes, pretty well thanks, yes.

- Excellent.

I was just wondering, what's his cat called?

- [Mrs. Gilbert] Humphrey.

- Humphrey, I was way off.

Thanks Mrs. Gilbert, sleep tight.

- [Mrs. Gilbert] All right, bye.

- Ah.

[typing]

[computer beeps]

No, that's not it.

Cat's birthday, I'll ring her back.

- Leave it, we'll get Parfit to hack it.

- Okay.

I'll ring Kelly and tell her I'll be back late.

Or do you think she'll be asleep?

- Not yet.

I mean, I don't know, do I?

- Maybe I should text.

I dunno, what do you think?

- Look, she's your wife.

Why do you keep asking me?

- Oh sorry, Roy, I just,

my way of trying to be a better man

is to keep asking myself what would Roy do?

[thoughtful music]

- Go home.

- Thought we were working around the clock?

- Oh go home, your wife's waiting for ya.

You've done enough for today.

- All right.

Hopefully, I'll get a bit of action. [chuckles]

See you tomorrow.

[sighs]

- Thank you.

I need you to hack a computer.

- What am I, IT Support?

- Yeah.

- I'm a little busy right now.

- Parfit, we're desperate.

- Really?

So, you haven't solved all the world's crimes

and rooted out its corrupt cops?

Quelle surprise.

- Look, Major's fucked, so why don't you do something?

- I have.

To convince the committee,

we have to show them a supercop, right?

[determined, confident music]

[key clicks]

Meet John Major, Version 3.0.

You're welcome.

- Kel?

- [Kelly] I'm in here.

- Oh.

I am

so sorry.

- It's fine, don't worry about it.

- No, no, no, it's not fine, right?

I said I'd be here right, I said I'd cook.

Look at me.

Four hours late, smelling of booze.

- Wine?

[wine pouring]

You're on a murder case, you have to stay late.

[plate clatters]

- You sound like Roy. - Hm?

What do you mean?

- Oh, just until now, he's been telling me,

oh, don't go home, stay in work, put your marriage on hold.

- Roy told you to stay in work, did he?

- He's such a good mate.

- [chuckles] You think?

[mobile phone ringing]

Speak of the devil.

Roy, what do you want?

- [Carver] I need him back at SIU, right now.

- Well, he's only just sat down for his tea, so.

- [Carver] Kelly trust me on this, it's for his own good.

- You're needed back at work.

[sombre music]

- Cheers, Roy.

[scoffs]

[tense electronic music]

[computers beeping]

- I'm getting a feeling of deja vu here.

- This time's different.

- Because this time, it'll work?

- Because this time, we've got nothing to lose.

[typing]

I've been cautious until now so as not to damage him.

This time, I've thrown everything at him:

speed, memory, processing power.

It'll either blow his brains up,

or make him significantly less

shit.

[Parfit exhales]

[computer beeping]

[key clicks]

[intense music]

- Who set me up?

Give me a name.

Ooh.

- [Kristof] The Juggler.

[computer whirring]

[intense music]

- I'm the best cop on the unit, mate.

Had to bring me back.

Holy shit, a foot.

- [Carver] Jesus.

- Who did this to you!

- The Juggler. - Juggler.

[Major screaming]

[bangs]

[rapid, intense electronic music]

- Oh!

[truck horn blares]

[banging] [gun fires]

[puppies whimpering]

[low computer beeping]

[computer beeping and whirring]

[ominous, static-y music]

[computer beeping]

[machines whirring and ticking]

- I know everything.

[funky rock music]

I also made you this.

It's a snake.

Jesus Christ, John, you never said you had a gun.

- Do you think John knows about Roy and I?

- I'm just a low-kevel drug dealer.

- [Carver] Oh, fuck off.

- I could have you deported back to Disneyland

before you can say Golden Grahams.

- [Major] I'm covering you, Roy!

- [Carver] No, I'm covering you.

- [Major] Someone's coming.

- John, who is it?

- Surprise, surprise.