All language subtitles for Greetings.1968.720p.BluRay.x264-SPOOKS-HI

'In South Vietnam,

'communist groups from the North
have made their deepest penetration

'into territory of the South
so far in the war.

'The enemy used tanks
in an ambush today

'against some 200
American Air Cavalrymen

'touching off a four-hour battle
near Khe Sanh.

'And this late dispatch
from the US command in Vietnam:

'allied troops have killed
243 more Vietcong

'in the vicinity of Saigon,
in a battle that is still raging.

'President Johnson told
a pro-administration

'labor convention
in the nation's capital today,

'that this country
will stand firm in Vietnam,

'and at the same time continue
to build better conditions in America.

'It sort of took a fellow back
to the days of Harry Truman,

'to hear his audience cheer him on
with shouts of, "Give 'em hell!"

'as the President defended his record.'

'Now, the America that we are building

'would be a threatened nation

'if we let freedom and liberty
die in Vietnam.

'We will do what must be done,

'and we'll do it both at home

'and we'll do it wherever our brave men
are called upon to stand.'

('Applause')

'This is the America
that we have faith in.

'This is a nation that is building.

'This is a wonderful country
that's growing.

'And I hope that you men

'are determined to help us
meet these problems.

'I hope you men are determined
to see us help get justice,

'not just for ourselves,

'but for all the people of this nation

'and for all the people of the world.

'And I sometimes wonder
why we Americans enjoy

'punishing ourselves so much,

'with our own criticism.

'This is a pretty good land.

'I'm not saying
you never had it so good.

- 'But that is a fact, isn't it?'
- ('Applause')

(Horn blares)

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Would you like to go away?

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Come and see me, don't delay

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle Sam

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ I'm coming to make a small request

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ You'll soon find I know what's best

♪ So be my guest,
but you do what I say

♪ Would you like to go back to bed?

♪ Forget about all the things
that you've seen and you've read

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Would you like to go away?

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Come and see me, don't delay

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle...

♪ Spend a day or two
with Uncle...

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle Sam... ♪

(Man) Which one of you niggers
is man enough just to take me on?

(Banging and screaming)

- What happened to your face?
- Don't touch it.

Oh, gee, what happened?

I got stomped by some spades
at 125th Street.

- Why?
- What are you fighting spades for?

I'm trying to get out
of my pre-induction physical.

- So I tried to get my leg busted.
- You picked a fight with 'em?

- Yeah.
- Oh, man!

Well, I've got to get out of it somehow.

Well, listen, be cool.
I can get you out of it.

We'll do the same thing for you that I did
when I went down there a week ago.

Be cool, it's very easy.
Er... take your jacket off.

Yeah.

- Those pants are OK, don't you think?
- Oh, yeah, they're good.

Tuck your shirt in.
All the way around.

- All the way.
- Yeah.

- Get it in there.
- Now, pull your pants up.

- Pull them way up.
- High.

No, man.

Oh, my penis, man!

That's it.

Get the belt.

- Get it like this.
- This is killing me, man!

Now let it hang like that.

- Got to get the flap down.
- That's too blatant.

- That's good.
- Yeah, that's good.

Right, now you need some
black lace bikini panties.

- Or silk.
- Bikini panties, right. That'll be good.

When you take pants off,
this is really important.

Fags, you see, are really
Fags are really blatant.

I ain't no fag, man!

No, you don't understand,
we're making you a fag for the induction.

- Oh. It's like 'silk-pantsing'?
- Right.

It sounded pretty strange
for a second.

You want people to focus in
on the crucial area.

To scope in on that zone
down there.

- Take some Kleenex or a pair of socks.
- Oh, yeah.

Take a pair of socks and
just stuff them in the silk panties.

Just, er... Just so it bulges.

And then what you need
is a kind of a fishnet shirt.

Oh, yeah, big fishnet, yeah.

And then you need like a scarf.

Kind of a big, flowing, silk scarf.

If you're gonna wear those net shirts,
you'll have to shave your chest.

You have to shave under your arms.

- Your whole body.
- Better use Nair.

So with the hand on the hip
and the wrist, just flop the wrist,

just walk right up to the Sergeant,
get as close as you can,

and seduce him
with your eyeballs and say, "Hi!"

- Do that.
- Hey, fellas, get a load of this.

- Yeah.
- (Bear growls)

And when he talks to the fellas,

you turn around and look
at the fellas too, see?

And give 'em a little sort of wink,
a little...

Like that, right? Yeah, you got that?

And then he'll ask you
He'll ask what your name is.

- What's your name?
- Paul Gerald Shaw.

Gerald...

I got it! When he asks him his name...
This is what you say.

What's your name, son?

Paul Gerald Shaw.

The fellas call me Jerry,
but you can call me Geranium.

Hey, did you hear that, fellas?

What kind of a name is that?
What kind of a name is that, son!

Oh, my friends think
I smell like a flower.

Yeah, just like that.
And then he'll ask you where you live.

Ask me where I live.
This is very important.

- Alright, where do you live, son?
- Oh, I live... around.

See, because you've gotta
make him believe

that you want to live around with him.

You want to live around with Sarge.
That's really crucial.

Then, yeah, he'll turn around
to the fellas again, when you say that.

Hey, do you hear that, fellas?

And then, every time he turns
around to the fellas,

you turn around them
and give them sort of a little...

sexy crinkle with the nose
and say, "Hi, fellas."

- Yeah, do that. Can you do that?
- I can do all that.

When I get to the end
can I say something like...

- "Shall I take my clothes off now?"
- That's terrific! That's fantastic!

- That's beautiful! Really great!
- It ain't gonna work.

- What do you mean?
- It's ridiculous! It ain't gonna work!

- Why not?
- Because I can't act like a fag!

And if they believe me, they'll stick me
in the frontlines with the rest of the fags!

- What?
- Yeah, man!

- They don't draft fags.
- Wait, wait. I got an idea.

I've gotta go down next week. I've got
an idea, something that I'm gonna do.

- Hey, Lloyd, you be the psychiatrist.
- Sure, man.

Come in.

Reporting as ordered, sir.

- Come on, tell me to sit down.
- Sit down, son.

Thank you, sir.

Now watch this...

- Request permission to speak, sir.
- Go right ahead, son.

Well, sir, I don't know
why I'm in here, sir.

The Sergeant out there, a very nice fella,
told me to come in and see you.

And there is no reason
why I don't want to join the army.

I happen to have been doing some work
on the outside in a secret organization

of which I cannot divulge at the moment,

and that's why
I haven't joined sooner, sir.

- It's just routine procedures.
- Oh, routine, of course, sir.

But we have the same screening
process in our organization, sir.

You gotta get that in. Very important.

Now, watch.
This is very important.

Sir, that's no way
to run an army out there,

you've got niggers, you've got spics,
you've got Jews, sir.

Everyone knows about the Jews.

You're not Jewish, are you, sir?

Hey, Paul! You try it, go ahead!

Now look straight ahead,
you know, real military.

- Sir, request permission to speak, sir.
- That's it, that's it.

Go right ahead, son.

I'm not exactly sure
why they sent me in here, sir.

Cos I'm ready to be a fine soldier, sir,
ready to kill me a bunch of commies!

Got any personal problems
you wanna talk about, son?

No, sir, I ain't got
no problems at all, sir!

- That's it.
- He's loud.

Now he's gonna ask you what you do,
like where you work and stuff like that.

- Ask me where I work.
- Where do you work now, son?

Well, sir, I work at a bookstore
and this enables me, sir,

to look at all the people,
make sure they read right books,

and I always try and suggest books
like "The F.B.I. Story", sir.

But I only do this in the day
to earn my meager earnings,

to butter my bread and butter.

But at night,
my true vocation comes out.

Now, here you go... You've heard
of the New York bowling league, sir?

The New York...? You bowl a lot?

No, no, no.
The New York bowling league, sir?

- I'm afraid I don't understand, son.
- So now you look around the room.

- It's a secret organization, sir.
- What do they do?

I don't understand at all, son.

Well, sir, since it's secret, you probably
don't know much about it at all.

- The C.R.P.U., sir.
- What's the C.R.P.U., son?

That's the Civilian Reserve
for the Protection of the Union, sir.

What does the Civilian Reserve
for the Protection of the Union do?

We preserve the Union!

We're setting up Communication
and Weapon Centers all over the country.

For the growing menace. Everyday there's
more commie bastards and niggers and...

...dirty, undernourished people.

Hell, man, that's too real!

Like the Chinese restaurants, sir?
That's just a plot, sir.

You go in there and spend $5
and eat for an hour and a half,

and a half hour later
you're starving to death.

That's a Chinese Communist plot
to starve the United States.

So I'm going to request that
you don't put me in the front lines

because as we know there are a lot
of Mexican Americans, a lot of niggers,

a lot of homosexuals,
a lot of undesirable elements,

all of the undesirable elements
of this country are there.

So I request that you put me
in the middle, sir,

so that when I am shooting at the enemy,

I will sort of, accidentally, let my rifle
veer a little to the left

and pick off a few of those
cancerous elements,

and then a little to the right
to pick off a few more.

You see what I mean?
You see, hey!

And then you say...

I just wanna say that if one tenth
of the 500,000 men in Vietnam

do what I'm gonna do,
we could wipe out this yellow peril

within a matter of months, sir.

You must remember, sir,

a few chinks a day
keep the Chinese away!

That's great. Hey, man...

No, man!
Look. You're putting him to sleep.

Listen, we kept him awake for two days,
we gotta keep him going. Wake up, man!

Listen, I got a story...
I'm gonna tell you a story

that is gonna keep you awake
for another month!

So when you go down there,
you'll be a wreck.

- Feet up! Hurry!
- Come on, man, come on!

I'm gonna tell you a story
that's gonna bug your eyes out.

I went to a mixer at Barnard College,

you know, the girl's college
attached to Columbia?

One of those deals where
you pay your 75 cents to walk in.

Well, I walked in, man. I've never seen
so many ugly girls in my entire life!

Valley of the Dogs! It was unbelievable!

So I walk up and say, "Hi, my name's
Lloyd. What's your name, baby?"

And she says, "Joanne,"
just like that, man.

Unbelievable voice. But, what the hell,
I might as well give it a try.

So I say, "You wanna dance?"
And she says, "Sure, I'd love to."

Just like that, man.
Really unbelievable.

So we get out there
and I'm doing my funky Broadway.

I'm really working my show and
she's just standing there twitching.

And I say to her,
"Listen, baby, I can't take this anymore."

Cos I just couldn't stand to look at her.

I just couldn't stand
to watch her doing that thing.

So I say, "Let's go down
to the West End and have a drink."

She says, "Oh, I'm sorry,
but I don't drink."

So I say, "Come on, baby,
you can watch me drink."

We went to the West End,
you know the bar there?

Double bourbon, man.
Wham! Right down the hat.

I say, "Hey, baby, what do you want?"
She says, "I'd love a glass of milk."

Milk! She really dug milk, man.
Three glasses.

A buck and a half I spent on milk.
Milk!

Hey, you cats listening to me?
Hey, come here!

Bring him over here!

After I watch her drink all this milk,
I thought it was time to get out,

cos I couldn't stand it anymore.

I wanted to get her up to her apartment.
I wasn't expecting much.

But when you wanna get into a chick's
apartment, you've gotta be subtle,

you can't say, "Come on, baby,
let's go to your place and screw."

You gotta be subtle, you gotta be cool.

You've gotta say, "I'd just love a cup
of coffee. Know how to make coffee?"

"I'd love to make you some coffee.
Let's go up to my apartment."

So, we went up to her apartment,
and she made me this cup of coffee.

It was mud, man. The worst coffee
I've ever had in my entire life!

Unbelievable!

I say, "Let's go into the living room
and put on a few tunes."

And she says, "We can't do that,
my roommate's in there."

I said, "I don't care
about your roommate."

So we went in there, and there's this chick,
Ethel, from Paramus, New Jersey.

Ugliest chick I've ever seen
in my entire life.

She's sitting there, reading.

So I say, "Come on, put on a few tunes."
So she puts on a couple of tunes.

I sit down on the sofa and leave room
for her to sit down next to me.

She doesn't do that, she sits next
to Ethel on the other side of the room.

And then she says, "Hey, Ethel,
come here, I've something to tell you."

And they have this 8th-grade
whispering conference.

God! Shades of the past!

So, old Ethel, gets up
and leaves the room, see.

And Joanne comes down
and sits next to me.

So I figure something's really
happening now.

Joanne comes back with this can of stuff
and she's flipping it up and down.

And she starts turning out all the lights,
know what I mean?

Listen, I don't know
if this is scaring you awake,

but I'm gonna be awake
for the next month and a half!

Let's sit down.

So old Ethel, she comes back
and sits down... I mean, Joanne.

She goes to turn off the light.
Look at this. Look, listen!

She reaches across me
to turn off the light,

and there's her boob, right there,
sitting right...

Wham! There it is, right there.
Know what I mean?

She turns off the light and then
she leaves it there.

She didn't back off. Just leaves it.

Right there, man! And here I am,
eye to nipple with this boob, you know.

Outta sight! And Ethel sits down
on the other side of me,

and she's got this can,
it's a can of whipped cream.

That Ready-Whip stuff.

Sprayed whipped cream.
Oh, man, it was unbelievable!

And old Joanne, with her boob,
she just starts working on my chest.

She starts undoing the buttons.

Well, that's all, man,
she's undoing my buttons.

And Ethel gets down on the floor
and she starts taking my shoes off.

She takes off my shoes and my socks.

Ethel and Joanne is up here
and she's takes my shirt off.

And then Ethel starts to go
for the pants.

Old Ethel, boy, she just sucks right
in there to my fly. She unzips my fly.

Pulled down my pants!
She pulled off my underwear.

Just pulled them right off!

Oh, God! And then they stood up
and took off their clothes, see.

So there were the three of us
completely naked.

So I throw Ethel to the ground...
Hey, come on, listen to this!

I throw Ethel to the ground,
leap on top and Joanne jumps on me.

And there I am, in the middle
of this bod sandwich, just like a... Ah!

And then old Joanne says,
"Hey, stop, wait! Cut it! Stop!"

And I can't figure out what's going on!
We went through all this.

I take off my clothes and now they're
telling me to stop? I can't believe this.

So then they pull out
the old whipped cream, see?

And they stretch me out
and they cover me

from head to foot
with whipped cream.

Just spray it all over me
and smooth it out.

And then they start to lick it off.

Just slobbering the whipped cream
off my body.

Old Joanne starts up at the neck and
starts working down. Hey, come on!

Ethel's down by the toes and
she's working up, she's getting higher.

And they're closing in on the D's
in the middle of the chest.

And they're getting in there and they're
getting closer and closer together!

And they get right down there
and lick the whipped cream!

They lick it right off my crotch! God!

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Wouldn't you like to go away?

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Come and see me, don't delay

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle...

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle Sam... ♪

Hey...

What's that?

It's a fake postcard
that I made for an art magazine.

(Lloyd) Can I see?

Superficially it's like one
of those old fashioned postcards

where you get a lot of views
inside the other one.

You lift the flap
and the other things fall out.

But that doesn't look like anything.

Oh, I see...

That's all the same thing, right?

I got interested in the idea that...

...in a postcard of that sort,
of that scale,

it's very difficult to identify
any of the elements in the picture.

It's almost a question of relating
these marks to each other.

- You can't tell what anything is.
- Yeah.

But somehow the relationship of each mark
to another tells me that it's people.

So you blew it up
to see if you could...?

I made one or two paintings
on this theme,

taking large groups of people

and then finding out what kind
of information there is in there,

when you go into it
in some degree of concentration.

This is like the movie, like "Blow Up".

Like the huge...
the way the guy blew it up.

So I'm told. But I did this
about 18 months before.

- I did the painting 18 months before.
- That's really groovy.

- The painting is from this area here.
- Yeah.

What interested me
about that particular frame

was that, at the bottom of the frame,
you can tell what the elements are.

You can tell this is a boy, for example.

Although it's just a smudge,
it still remains... human,

and you can even identify the sex.

This you can even identify
as a female,

the relationship of that figure
to that figure

will let you know
that this is a woman.

This must be the mother of this figure.
It's like a family group.

The woman is sitting in a deck chair.
That blob is a head.

When you blow it up a good deal further,
it looks as it's a dog or something.

But it's just the relationship
of these marks to those marks

that'll tell you what's happening.

I'm very interested in
the Kennedy assassination, you know.

And I've got my whole room
wallpapered, practically,

with photographs of the assassination
scene and the Grassy Knoll and stuff.

And this is just like that
cos they're all blown up.

And you stare and you stare,
and when the picture's this big,

you can't tell what's going on,
you get no information from it.

And then you blow it up like this,
and you still can't see anything.

It's all there, but it's not really there.
You can't really see what's going on.

(♪ Music over audio)

(♪ Music over dialogue)

Hey! What happened?
Did you get out?

- They said two weeks.
- So you don't know yet?

What did the psychiatrist say? Hey!

- Well, it came out kind of strange...
- What did they tell you?

- I don't know if they believed me.
- What did they tell you?

- Two weeks!
- Oh, well, man, you're out then.

Cos that's what they told me.
That's cool.

- What did the psychiatrist say?
- He didn't say a lot...

- Come on, let's go home. I'm tired.
- Let's go celebrate, anyway.

Goddamn!

Look, this thing I got
from Life Magazine, see?

It's a blow up
and it's the Grassy Knoll in Dallas,

just a couple of seconds
after the assassination.

Everybody's running
towards the Grassy Knoll

just after the shots were fired.

And they're running right
towards that guy, you see, that...

Right next to the tree there,
there's a guy in a white shirt.

And they're all running next to him.
And you know who that is?

- Who?
- That's Officer (Bleep).

And this is his buddy down here
in the cop uniform running up to help him.

That's a white spot
that you can see through the tree.

No, man. That's Officer (Bleep).
I'm sure of it, see, because all this...

I know for a fact that
the shots came from the front.

What I want you to do is...
I got the negative here.

You take this and you blow it up,

so I see that's Officer (Bleep)
and he's got a gun, see?

And I can crack this case wide open!

You won't see anything
but grains the size of golf balls!

No, man!

I saw the blow up. I know how
this turns out, you can't see anything.

- It's been blown up so many times.
- Well, listen, Tina...

- Will you just do it for me? Please?
- OK.

Look, here's the negative.
It's number 69-17.

- Alright?
- Alright.

- It'll take me a couple of minutes.
- That's alright.

(Woman) I used to go around
with that horrible Cindy Slater.

- (Man) Yeah.
- She was so ignorant.

- (Man) Why?
- Pushing her hair in her face.

Chewing gum all the time!
Just all of the time, she's chewing gum.

It was just terrible
trying to grow up with her.

(Man) Wait, wait! There...

- So what happened to her?
- (Man) She ran off with your boyfriend.

- Oh, not my boyfriend.
- Wasn't it?

- No, it was just an acquaintance.
- I heard they became hippies.

- Hippies? Me a hippie?
- Well, no.

(Man) You want a cigarette? Alright.

Wow...

This clearly shows that Officer (Bleep)
was in the front

and firing from the front
with a Russian 6.76mm rifle,

causing a neck wound
in the President's neck, er...

seven-eighths of an inch
below the collar button.

The Warren Commission just

whitewashed it all over,
just smeared it all over!

But, look!
You can see he's got a rifle there.

See? Look!

See? Look, it's right! See?

♪ The world and all its sides are fine

♪ When you're by my side

♪ I find the things you do a sign

♪ Your love's no farce and rhyme

♪ You cover me with rain and snow

♪ The softer moments sow the afternoon

♪ Like winter days turn into years

♪ Whose seconds go
so loose and so slow

♪ Ah, so loose and so slow

♪ Ah, so loose and so slow

♪ Now, let's go

♪ The life we live here
goes so fast

♪ It often passes by

♪ With you, it's sweet till the very last

♪ And that's the reason why

♪ You cover me with rain and snow

♪ It's often warm
and so the afternoons

♪ Like winter days turn into years

♪ Whose seconds go
so loose and so slow

♪ Ah, so loose and so slow

♪ Ah, so loose and so slow

♪ Alright, let's play it
for the boys... ♪

"Fundamental attributes..."
They have all these long words.

"General characteristics."
"Political viewpoints."

They really run it down.

"Physical appearance..."

Do you think I'm unusually attractive
or just regularly attractive?

I don't know, man. Lie.

You know Earlene Roberts, the plump
widow that managed the rooming house

where Oswald was living
under the name of O.H. Lee?

You get it? O.H. Lee?

Lee Harvey Oswald? Right?

- I never thought about that much
- Man, it's all jive.

"Philosophy of life values."

"Had I the ability,
I would like to do the work of..."

They didn't want to catch him.
He just drove right off like that.

"It is perhaps too far-fetched
to imagine

"that they were giving Oswald
some kind of signal

"although it seems as plausible
as any other explanation

"to this bizarre incident."

And then you see after Mrs. Roberts
testified in Dallas, in April of 1964,

she was subjected
to intensive police harassment.

Cops came around and bugged her

at all hours of the night and day,
and stuff like that.

And they called up her employers
and told her employers

that she was the lady who ran
the rooming house where Oswald was.

She lost all these jobs, man!

She lost four housekeeping
and nursing jobs

in April, May and June of 1964 alone!

(Doorbell rings)

- (Shaw) Hi. Barbara Fuller?
- Yeah?

Hi, I'm Paul Shaw.

I have a computer date.
May I come in?

- You're Paul Shaw?
- Yeah.

- Oh, my God, I don't believe it.
- What's the matter?

What a nice house you have.

- Any other rooms?
- No.

- Where do you sleep, on here?
- What do you care where I sleep?

You walk in here and right away
you wanna know where I sleep!

I should've known!
You really want to get to know me?

All you care is where my bed is!

- No, I care about other things.
- Then, why'd you ask?

Oh, I just happened to, er...

You asked cos that's where
your mind is. It's in the bed!

Aren't you worried about your car
being double-parked or something?

No. It's not double-parked.

I don't have a car.

- You don't have a car?
- No.

Then how do you expect
to get anywhere?

Well, I walk or take a subway
or a bus.

- A bus?
- Sure.

What kind of bus do you know
pulls up in front of El Morocco?

- I don't even know where El Morocco is.
- Then where do you expect to eat?

(Mutters)

- I ate.
- You ate?

- Yeah.
- What do you mean, you ate?

What kind of a date
doesn't go out to dinner?

I spend all day getting dressed,

and all you wanna do is rip
my clothes off. You're all the same!

Walk in, off with the clothes
and into the bed right away!

Look at this dress.
An original Arnold of Alexander's.

All hand-sequined, 59.95!

And the shoes... Socialite.

"The shoe that starts the total look."

- You see how they match the dress?
- Yeah.

Agilon stockings.

"Pastel tones to gamble in."
Two-fifty a pair!

And my Technique girdle
and matching bra.

Slant seam to lift and mold.

And did you notice?
Living nails with Fabergé glaze.

Perfectly shaped and
guaranteed chip-free for a week!

And what the hell did you do?
Throw on a sweater?

Er, Lloyd! No, hold on a second.
Listen to me, OK?

No, just listen a second.

Remember I was supposed to go
on a computer date? Yeah...

No, she was great looking. Yeah.

But she's really not ready for me,
and I'm not ready for her.

And since you're one
of my best friends, I figured

maybe she'd be ready for you
or you'd be ready for her.

(Lloyd) "F.B.I. exhibit 60:
the President's shirt and tie.

"Seven-eighths of an inch..."

Now, President's head wound,
President's neck wounds.

"The autopsy of Bethesda Naval Hospital.

"The hole was located
approximately five and a half inches

"from the tip of the right shoulder joint."

Five and a half inches
from the tip of the right shoulder...

Five and a half...
Now the arc, 17 degrees.

"Approximately the same distance below
the tip of the right mastoid process.

"The bony point
immediately behind the ear."

Right there!

Intersection...
around the bullet hole.

Bullet hole...

Bullet went in there.

Now...

Put the shirt on
and line up the holes.

Angle of five inches...

Ah, that's right!

Over we go.

Put the shirt on.

The shirt...

Put the shirt on.

Turn over again.

Come on, roll over. Roll over.

Now... let's show the F.B.I.
the street grade and the angle...

Everything's wrong.

The whole thing is
a blatant falsification.

I'll crack this case wide open.

F.B.I., Hoover, liars...

...cheats,
defraud the American public

I know what goes on.
The President was bumped off.

Plots and lying and... cover-up.

Man, nobody pulls the wool
over my eyes.

Not the F.B.I.!
No, sir, boy, cos I'm gonna...

I'm gonna show them a thing or three.

Come on, come on.

Come on, this is important.

Now... now, five and three quarter
inches below the...

Five and three quarter inches...

Bullet, right there.

Now the neck... the bullet went in...

A-ha!

The holes don't match!

The F.B.I. falsified
the Bethesda autopsy.

They said the bullet went in
five and three quarters inches

below the top of the collar,

but Carico, who's a resident...
Come on, this is important!

Carico, who's a resident physician
at Parkland,

said that the bullet went in
below the mastoid about five...

right below the mastoid process there, see?

Now, if the F.B.I. thinks that
the bullet hole went in the back

by the downward street grade,
shot the bullet...

17 degrees, 30 minutes and 27 seconds,

the President would've had
to be standing on his head

for the bullet to go in here
and come out here, see?

So that proves conclusively,
beyond a shadow of a doubt,

the F.B.I. was lying, see,
they were covering up...

Weisberg was right.
The Warren Commission's a whitewash.

(Man) Read all about it! Tells you where
to get a gun, where to get an abortion,

how to stay out of the army,

how to desert the army
if you're already in it,

how to sneak onto the subway,
where to steal food, how to go on welfare.

Free legal aid! Right here, man!

Hey, ever see a "Rat"?
A "Rat" in every room!

Scare the shit out of your neighbors!
"Rats" right here!

New York's new
revolutionary newspaper.

You ever see "The Rat"?
It's out of sight. Check it out.

- (Shaw) Is this an ad?
- They didn't put it in.

But we've been inverting the ads.

We've been taking regular ads
and turning them upside down.

Here, I got some more. Check these, man.
These are really out of sight.

"The closer you get, the better you look."
See, there's a Napalm child, close up.

People don't even see
this part in the ad at first,

this Vietnamese family drowning.

"Introducing a unique idea
in men's shaving cologne.

"Eenie, meenie, miney, mo,
catch a nigger by the toe..."

That's what they're saying. We're taking
this ad and showing it the way it is.

And we put a black guy in there
with a rifle, cos he's gonna fight.

We're gonna have a war right here.

- Here?
- Right here, man. A revolution.

You ever see
the Empire State Building?

Empire State Building?
Around the corner, the Colonial Theater.

And across the street,
the Empire - something - Mercury dealer.

- Empire, Colonial!
- What's wrong with that?

We live in an empire.
We have a colonialist system!

A corporate capitalist power elite
in the United States!

- Yeah, they got it in every country!
- No, General Motors runs the world!

We'll put these on subways, the posters
gonna scare the shit out of people.

Take one. It's a "Rat".

Pick it up at the news stand.
It's 15 cents.

(Doorbell rings)

- Yes?
- Er... erm... er...

- Judy Cavendish?
- No.

I must have the wrong apartment,
sorry.

- May I help you?
- No, no...

Where are your books
of topical interest?

Topical?
You mean like current events?

Yeah, they're right here.
Right in here.

You, er... you interested
in the Kennedy assassination?

Oh, no, no.

Was that book that I was looking at
about the, er... assassination?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Look, it's brand new.

- The Kennedy assassination?
- Yeah, yeah.

It's got all this stuff about the witnesses
that died mysteriously.

Karate-chopped
and murdered and stuff.

It's got about all the destroyed evidence,
the missing frames

and the Zapruder film,
and the cut photographs,

and it's got the new dope
on Earlene Roberts.

It's really great...

Have you ever seen me before?

No, man.
Not unless you've been in here.

Did you ever wear a black shiny suit?

No!

- Ever been in Dealey Plaza?
- No, man, but I'd really like to go...

- New Orleans?
- No. No, man.

Who's that woman?

- I dunno, she's looking for a book.
- Does she work here?

- No, man, she's just buying a book.
- Why's she watching us?

She's not, man!
She's looking at the book.

Look, come over here
by the dirty books.

- Can you get that out? My wallet out?
- Yeah.

Take a look at that.

- You must be related to Earlene Roberts.
- Yes!

Earlene Roberts is my aunt.
My aunt Leenie.

- Then, you know all about this.
- I was there!

I was there the day
that Kennedy got shot.

Why aren't you in the Warren Commission?

Because I was only there for one day,
then I flew back to New York. I was there!

My aunt and I were sitting in
the living room of her boarding house.

We were drinking a Dr. Pepper,

and all of a sudden, the news
of the assassination came on the TV.

We were watching,
all of a sudden this guy,

who lives in my aunt's boarding house
under the name of O.H. Lee...

Yeah, I know about that!

He comes running in the door
and up the stairs to his room.

The next thing that happens,
about fifteen seconds later,

this cop car pulls up,
stops right outside the house...

- And they honk the horn.
- Right! Tit, tit!

Yeah, two times. Then they look out
like they're looking for something.

They look up at the building, 15 seconds
pass, no more, and they drive off!

The next thing that happens,
about ten seconds later,

this O.H. Lee comes down the stairs,
out the door, onto the street.

He looks up and down like
he's expecting somebody to pick him up.

- A signal.
- Right. Nobody's there.

He zips up his windbreaker, walks up
to the bus stop and stands there.

- Yeah, it was a signal.
- Yeah, listen, I saw the cops!

- I know who they are. I can identify them.
- You can?

- Yes!
- You can crack this case!

Who's that woman?

- Ever see her before?
- No. She's just...

She's watching us!
Do you know who she is?

- No, I've never seen her before.
- Yes, I can crack this case.

Of course I can crack this case.

What do you think I've been doing
for five years? Look at this...

Dealey Plaza.

There's a plastic cast of the pillow
that was used to smother my aunt.

- Unbelievable!
- You see?

Why do you think I look so pale?
Five years of this! Now, listen.

I'm on the verge of cracking
this case, but I need that book.

- That book has the secret!
- Well, go ahead and buy it.

I can't! Cash register receipt,
finger prints, evidence...

- You notice I always wear gloves?
- Oh. yeah.

- Listen, I can't buy the book.
- Well, then, I'll buy it.

- No, you can't buy it!
- Why not?

Because they're watching us.
They watch me every minute of the day.

They're watching you now.
I'm number seventeen.

You know about all the witnesses?
Sixteen witnesses killed?

- Koethe with the karate chop to the neck.
- Yeah.

- And that dancer?
- Hung herself.

Right, with her toreador pants
in the prison cell? Yeah.

They're watching me, I'm number 17.

- You're number 18!
- What?

- You're in this up to your neck, buddy!
- They're watching us.

I'm not kidding. Listen, I need that book.
We can crack this case.

- You steal the book.
- I can't steal it!

- The manager's there. I'll lose myjob!
- Steal the book.

- Who's that woman?
- I dunno, she's just looking for a book.

You steal the book for me
and then give it to me after work.

- What time do you get off work?
- Five-thirty.

- Where can we meet?
- I'll steal the book.

Steal the book, right.

- Be casual.
- I'll be casual, yeah.

Oh, this is terrific.

Hey! You got it?

- Yeah.
- Good. Good.

- Listen, where can I meet you?
- You gotta tell Garrison.

- No! You know what happened to Ferry!
- Oh, yeah, that's right.

Ferry, that's it!

Meet me on the Statue of Liberty Ferry,
Battery Park, tomorrow at 9 o'clock.

- Great.
- First ferry.

- At the east end...
- Right! What are you doing?

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Would you like to go away?

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Come and see me, don't delay

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle...

♪ Spend a day or two
with Uncle...

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle Sam

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Would you like to go away?

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Come and see me, don't delay

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle Sam ♪

Hi, are you Cassandra Newton?

I'm Paul Shaw, your computer date.

- You're Paul?
- Yeah.

Of course. Come in, Paul.

You have a nice house, here.

What do you know about it?
What do you know about anything?

You're all over the place.

Your mind is flitting around
in all different directions.

Close your eyes.

- Feel the wall? Where is it?
- Here.

Oh, no. The wall is in you.

You are the wall.

There's no beginning, no end.
It's all one.

No, don't look at me.

I want you to feel that.
Can you feel it?

- You, the wall, becoming one
- Oh, yeah.

Yes, that's good.

Oh, no!

You're jumping to the result.

We've got to start at the beginning.
The beginning of all energies.

The source!

- Do you feel that?
- Yeah.

That's very good.

We've got to raise that energy
out from that swamp,

away from all those murky thoughts.

All that lower force better go
upwards with my fingertips.

Do you feel it, moving upwards?

Branching out in all directions.

Raising up through
the higher ascendance

to the source of all life.

Let it open up, through the lotus.
Oh, do you feel that? yes, it's good.

You are all powerful.
You can do anything!

No! I'm not ready!

- Do you feel that?
- Yeah.

- Do you feel that throbbing?
- Yeah.

- Do you feel that rhythm?
- Yeah.

We two must become one rhythm.

One music, one harmony.

We're separate now.
We've got to be one vibration.

One great musical rhythm.
One magnificent scale.

Let it flow through you and into me,
and through you and back.

Yes, yes, you're feeling it now.
You're becoming one with me.

Very good!

Very good! Yes, one rhythm!

One harmony!

One music!

Oh, lovely, lovely!

Very good, very good!

You've achieved the result.

I feel you know now, you know.

We are one.
One great beautiful energy.

Now let it bring you forth.

Take you to the mother
of all energies: the Earth.

Terracotta!

Let it take you down with it.

Let it bring you. Come.
Yes, that's good.

Oh, you've learned. Come.
Let it bring you.

Let it bring you forth.

Oh, very good, very good.

Your source!

What's happened to your source?

"The ideal, of course,
is to see an attractive female

"engaged in some sort of sexual activity.

"As a group,
peepers are persevering optimists.

"In this way, they remind one
of ardent fishermen,

"undaunted by failure,
and always hoping that the next time

"their luck... (Clears throat)
...will be better.

"Just as the fisherman
will wait patiently for hours,

"so will the peeper wait patiently
for a female to finish some...

"...interminable minor chores
before going to bed.

"And then, likely as not, she may
turn off the light before undressing.

"Again, like the fisherman
who keeps a list of areas

"where fishing is especially good,
the peeper, not infrequently,

"has in mind a number of particularly
likely places to which he returns."

Hmm...

Seventy-six...

"Varieties of offenders.

"A classic example is a man who was
in his mid-20s when we interviewed him.

"Timidity and an overwhelming fear
of being rejected

"kept him from seeking more heterosexual
activity which he strongly desired.

"His fear of rejection began,
so far as he knows,

"with a traumatic event
shortly after he reached puberty,

"and was experiencing the usual
quick and intense sexual arousal

"at that period of life.

"Circumstances forced him
to share a bed with his married sister

"and he became extremely aroused
and desirous of coitus.

"Unable to express his wish,
he simply showed her his erect penis.

"She rejected him violently

"and harangued him at length
on how vile he was.

"Ever since then, he had felt
extremely awkward and hesitant

"about approaching females sexually,

"and every rebuff was excruciating.

"He began peeping regularly."

- How are you?
- Sorry I'm late.

That's alright.
We missed the bus but that's OK.

Gee! Hey, I want to thank you
for helping me out at the book store.

Oh, that's OK. I wanted
to thank you, you helped me.

You helped me because I was doing
research at the bookstore, and so...

- You don't work at the bookstore?
- No, I don't. I don't work.

(Laughs) Oh.

Actually, I'm working on a project,
doing research,

and I was watching you there,
that's why I was on the mezzanine.

'And I noticed you doing these things
and you were so interesting to watch.'

Well, I'm studying people and
when you took the book, it was amazing.

It was just beautiful.
It was what I call a private moment.

I study people like this, you know.

It's like a moment where people
are really with themselves

and doing things
which are a private moment.

A private moment? What's that?

Well, for example,
have you ever been in...?

Like, in my apartment,
when I walk around,

I look into the backyard,
I don't intentionally,

but there happen to be a lot
of windows that are open there,

and I see people doing different things,

like a man walking around, or a woman,
or even a dog, doing different things.

As a matter of fact, I was just talking
to Clifford James about it.

And Clifford agreed with me. You know
who Clifford James is, don't you?

- Oh, sure.
- Yeah.

Clifford James of the Whitney Museum,
the curator.

- Oh, yeah.
- You know who he is, sure.

Well, we were talking and
Clifford's going to build a $2 million wing

of the Whitney to house my show,
as a matter of fact.

And I want to show you what it is.

Now this is one
of my main projects, here.

Now, let's see, where's the...
where's the switch?

Oh, here.

- You hold that like that.
- Oh, it's a projector.

Yeah. OK, now just hold it like that.
Hold it there. Hold it.

What happens is, when this goes on,
it goes through this window here,

and there's a telescope
which someone looks through,

and they see a private moment
in this glazed glass window here.

This is a hotel, right?
And this is a pawnbroker.

It's a very lonely place.

And a woman comes home
after working,

she's very lonely, she's sad,
working for nothing.

Nothing to look forward to.

And the woman I was thinking of for this
was, er... was you.

- I was thinking of you.
- No kidding!

Yes. And you know what the name
of this is going to be?

- You've heard of Pop Art?
- Yes, sure.

Well, this is called "Peep Art".

And the title of the whole show will be:
"The Peepers and the Peeped".

- That's great!
- Yes.

So I would like to use you,
because after watching you,

you were so fantastic in the bookstore,
I'd just like to use you.

- Thank you very much!
- This is the camera I'll use, right here.

- I've had movie experience.
- Oh, you have?

Last summer, I did a couple films
on the beach and they were very good.

That's very good.

And also I was member of the National
Thespian Society in high school.

I was recording secretary
and I did lots of leads.

I did King Lear in Lear.
I did the King.

"Blow, wind, blow!
Crack your cheeks and blow!"

That's great. Look, there's a cab coming,
we better go!

- Let's get started.
- OK.

(Camera rolling)

(Rubin) Alright, now,
is that what a girl would do,

a woman alone would do,
at that point in the room?

Well...

Would she get on the bed
with her coat on and her scarf?

- Oh... Yes, cos I'm alone, right?
- Right, you're alone now. Yeah.

- I'm tired and I'm alone.
- That's it, now...

Maybe, don't you think you should
take your scarf off and your coat...

- Oh, yeah, I'll take my scarf off.
- ...before you go to bed? Right.

A-ha...
Yeah, now take your coat off.

Throw your scarf on the floor
and throw your coat on the floor too.

- Just like this?
- You're tired, you've had a hard day.

- I don't care if I hang it up or not.
- You're alone. It's...

Remember where you are. Look...

Look out the window and
you see the lonely pawn shop sign,

and people, it's raining, an old man
with a beard and a beat-up coat.

This is very sad.
You've had a hard day.

- Oh!
- That's it.

- So sad...
- No, don't talk!

Remember, now, you're thinking
all these things. Now I know...

Remember this is a beautiful,
private moment,

and I am someone who is recording this
for you and making you see it.

Remember what we were talking about?
Think all these things.

I'm gonna tell you all about this after.

At the moment, just think
about these things and do them.

Now take off your coat
and throw it on the floor.

Oh!

(Sighs heavily)

- That's it.
- Oh...

That's it.

Throw it! Ah, that's good.

- Now, take your brush. You have a brush?
- Yes, I have one.

No, don't talk to the camera!
Don't talk to the camera. Don't look at it!

- Oh, I take my watch off first.
- Right, take your watch off.

- Well, here it is.
- That's it! Take your watch...

- Now, listen, get your brush.
- Yeah.

Now come and look out the window
and look quickly.

- The camera's running out of film.
- I'm so alone.

- Come and look out the window.
- Oh, alright.

- Get your brush. Right.
- I'll take my shoes off.

Take off your shoes. That's it.

That's it. Now kneel on the bed
and look out the window.

- And comb your hair.
- Oh...

Ah... that's it. Now look at the window.

Look at yourself in the window and
pucker up your lips and go... like that.

That's it. That's it, yes.
That's it, that's it.

OK, now, don't you think you're hot?
Don't you want to go to bed now?

- Oh, I'm tired.
- Yes, you're tired.

- I'm tired and alone.
- Shouldn't you take off your dress?

- Sure. Take it off.
- My dress?

Remember, this is a private moment
and no one is watching.

And this is one of the beautiful moments,
so don't worry about it.

Just take it off. No one cares.

I don't care. I'm just recording
this beautiful moment to show to you later.

Now, go ahead. That's all.
That's it, take it off.

- That's it. That's it.
- Oh!

And when you take your dress off,
just throw it on the floor.

- You're tired, you wanna go to bed.
- I have to unbutton it first.

- There's a lot of buttons.
- Ah...

- Yeah, that's it.
- (Sighs)

That's it. That's it.

OK, now take it off. That's it,
take it off and throw it on the bed.

- Hurry up. We're running out of film.
- I wouldn't throw it on the bed...

- What?
- It would get wrinkled.

- Hurry up.
- OK, I'm unbuttoned.

- That's it. You shouldn't talk, though.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Throw it. That's it.
Now, throw it wildly.

Wildly. That's it.

- Now lie down, lie down.
- Lie down?

You're so fatigued you can't even
take the rest of your clothes off.

- So tired.
- That's it, that's it.

No, lie down. That's it.
Lie down and close your eyes.

(Sighs)

- Hold it, we ran out of film.
- OK, I'm sorry.

- So let's start again.
- Alright.

Now, you're very tired.
You wanna go to sleep.

Now, is that the way
you'd go to sleep, Linda?

- You mean, is this the way I sleep?
- No, right? That isn't the way you sleep.

No, I don't have anything on
when I sleep.

Of course, you wouldn't
have clothes on, right?

- Alright.
- So?

Take them off.
That's alright. Remember...

You must remember
that this is a beautiful moment.

- And don't feel ashamed in front of me.
- Alright.

This is a recorded moment.

That's it. That's very good.

- Very good.
- Oh!

- Yes.
- What do I do with the slip?

Just throw it away. Throw it away.

Now, let's do this a little faster.
Yes, that's it, throw it away.

Take off your stockings, that's it.

- Oh...
- A-ha!

Yeah. Hmm... That's it.

Very good. Very, very, good.
Very imaginative.

- Oh, thank you.
- I can tell you have studied acting.

Yes!
OK, take that one off now. That's it.

- Yes.
- My hip bone is sore.

Very, very good.
(Clapping)

Now take off your panties.
We have to hurry.

There's not much film
in the camera left.

- I'll take off my garter belt, first.
- Alright, take that off. Yes.

Yes. That's it,
throw it away dramatically.

- You're tired, it's lonely.
- It's late.

You have to get up early
tomorrow morning,

so you wanna get to bed right away.

You have to start
another dreary day at work.

- Oh, it's so late and I'm so alone.
- That's it. Now take off your...

- Yeah?
- Now, yes, alright, go to sleep.

Now lie down, that's it, go to sleep.

That's it, sleep, dream. Dream.

- That's...
- (Sighs)

What are you doing,
coming in through my window?

...ask a soldier why a person
would choose the army as a career.

This was a captain
in the 1st Cavalry Division.

And, primarily, our idea for this story

was to follow him and his company
wherever they went.

And, er... it was like playing soldiers.

It's pretty rugged out there,
and it's hard.

A lot of the times,
as far as photography is concerned,

my problem...

Exposure, if you decide to grab something
in a hurry, sometimes you guess.

If the sun is out all the time,

you're just lucky,
it's more or less an even exposure.

There's an incident later on in here,
where we captured three Vietcongs,

and I think I had 72-55
in the camera at the time.

And when they went to search
these prisoners,

they brought them
into a dark area of trees,

and I said,
"Bring 'em out in the sun."

Beautiful. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful and easy to get
and everything. Yeah.

- (Man) How'd you get it?
- In a cigarette package.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Just go down to the corner
and yell, "Papa-san!"

Yeah.

- "Papa-san."
- What is "Papa-san"?

Everybody,
all the guys are called "Papa-san".

It's just like "Hey, man"
in the United States,

they say, "Hey, Papa-san."

Anybody, man. Anything that's got
a male vital organ, you call "Papa-san".

They're stoned all the time...
(Muttering)

They're so happy.

They get high and they say,
"Now this is Utopia."

- (Man) They smoke grass?
- They chew nuts.

They smoke grass, they shoot heroin,
they get laid, everything.

What do you think?
They're people, man!

They eat and drink.
Well, they eat when they got it.

They even eat when they don't got it,
cos they go and steal it.

They're wiped out so they're corrupt.

Break into army places
and steal things,

sell them to people that'll shoot
at them tomorrow...

They sell them to the VC, bullets
and stuff that they steal from us,

who are there to fight for them,
sell it to Charlie,

get money, go out and buy rice,
and then tomorrow,

the bullets come back at them
but they don't care cos they're all high.

Everybody's all drugged with the fact
they're going out again in a few days.

Before you know it, you're gone anyway.
Besides, all the cats are...

...wiping each other out, literally.

- (Man) Literally?
- Literally.

(Man) You spend most of your time
in the field?

Yeah, mostly. There's this one cat...
I don't even believe this.

- He had his own private-owned pistol.
- You're allowed to have your own pistol?

Yeah, you can, but you have
to register with the army.

You can leave the States
and get over there and...

This chick wants to get laid.
You can get so hung up on her.

That's the same one.

(Giggling)

Oh, yeah, the pistol.

So this, er...
this guy came back in

and went to this company party,
and they had W.A.C.s there.

There's a few W.A.C.s overseas.

He was digging this broad
and this broad was digging him,

and along comes another cat.

The other cat starts digging the broad
and this guy felt so possessive

that this was his woman,
that he went and got his pistol.

And he put it around like Wyatt Earp,
tied it to his leg.

And he says to the other cat, "Here I am."
And the cat says, "Oh, yeah?"

He goes back and gets his pistol
and ties it on!

And they stood there and went... boom!
Cat got it through the neck, man.

Paralyzed from the neck down,
and then five days later, he died.

They played Wyatt Earp, man, yeah.

- Brought to you by Wheaties.
- Did you see that?

Yeah, I saw it happen.
There's nothing I could do.

Cos I'm not gonna take a shot
through the neck for these cats.

I was stoned anyway.

♪ Like cats

♪ There are so many young people

♪ Wandering to and fro

♪ Amusing each other
with good lies

♪ Theyjust don't know
where to go

♪ So many things to do, to hear

♪ So many places to go

♪ So little time, little time
to know...

♪ The Lexington Avenue train goes by

♪ It always reminds me of your eyes

♪ If I were wise,
I'd go away and stay there... ♪

Beautiful girl, huh?

Yeah, she is.

I noticed you watching her
the last few minutes and, er...

You've got a good eye,
I'll say that much.

You like girls?

Sure... yeah.

You know her?

No. Well, not really. I...

As a matter of fact, I met her at a party,
but I don't really know her.

- So you met her at a party?
- Well, I didn't...

- Actually, I didn't really meet her.
- You didn't go up to her? Alright.

- She's a good-looking girl.
- Yeah, I know, she's really nice.

Very nice.

You'd like to bang her, huh?

Hey! You can't kid me, I know.

You're a regular guy,
I'm a regular guy.

- You like art?
- Sure I like art.

Yeah? You like things like that, huh?

You know those things there?
That's not easy to make, you know.

It takes years of experience,
putting things on top of each other.

- You gotta go to school for that.
- I know.

It just doesn't come.
I know, I happen to be an artist.

- Oh, you are?
- I mean, in my own way I'm an artist.

- What do you do?
- I, er... I do films.

- Oh, really?
- I make films and... write the script, yes.

I, er...
Do you go to movies?

Er... sure I go to a lot of movies.

- You do?
- Yeah.

What do you do for a living?

Er... well, actually, do you know
what Bookmasters is?

- On 64th Street.
- I've passed by there once or twice.

Are you kidding? They have
a beautiful collection of books.

- Yeah, they have good books there.
- Beautiful books.

I got a book there
a couple of months ago.

I was trying to get it for six months
at another place. Couldn't get it.

"The Horny Headmaster". You know
that book, right? By Richard P. Long.

- No...
- You're kidding?

You should read it in your lunch hour.

Beautiful book,
it'll give you tremendous insight.

Beautiful.

- Gorgeous looking girl.
- Yeah.

I think she goes for you.
What do you think of that?

- How do you know?
- I could just see.

She's trying to avoid you,
but there's something in her look

that leads me to believe
that if you went up to her...

You shouldn't be so shy.
You gotta go out, meet people.

- Are you always that shy?
- Well, yeah.

You should go out,
you should go to the theater.

- You go to movies?
- Sure.

You do go to movies, yeah?
That's beautiful.

Cos I think they're a very good
expression, a good outlet.

Hmm...

Ah, it's beautiful this time of year.
It's my favorite weather.

Makes you wanna go out.

- What do you make, 75-80 a week?
- I make even less than that.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I've got something for you.
A picture called "The Great Dane".

It's about this beautiful,
black, Great Dane,

that just sucks right
on this beautiful, gorgeous blonde.

Eats her up alive. Gorgeous.

Screws her... Everything!

Such taste, know what I mean?
Beautiful taste.

It's not disgusting
or anything like those...

You know what I mean?
You do. You're a regular guy.

I've got this other one
I'm telling you, forget about her.

See this other one's called,

"The Delivery Boy
and the Bored Housewife".

You follow me?
Do I have to tell you any more?

"The Delivery Boy
and the Bored Housewife".

I can't even describe to you that one.

They usually go for a couple of hundred,
know what I mean?

I'll do three hundred.

- Excuse me...
- Ain't she gorgeous? Beautiful.

Five dollars.

Five dollars, OK?

I carry them around in Coke boxes.

- ♪ Things go better with Coca-Cola ♪
- Yeah, right.

There's nothing that goes better
with Coke than these, boy.

- Five dollars a roll.
- Five?

Sit down with a bottle of Coke and these,

and you have yourself a time
like you never had.

What do you say? "The Great Dane
and the Bored Housewife".

- Five dollars apiece.
- How good can it be?

How good can it be?

I'll tell you how good it can be.

Take a look at a couple of...
just a couple of 'em.

Go on. Nobody's looking.
I'm looking, go on.

Go on take a look.

Don't hold it up. Take a look,
just take a look. Nobody's looking.

I can't see unless I put it to the light.

Can I put it to the light a little bit?

(Muttering)

It's very good. It looks good.

Looks good? What do you mean?
It is good. What do you...?

It's perfect. Where could you get this
for five bucks?

- Let me have five bucks.
- Alright, look...

Here's five dollars, give me the film.
Thank you.

Thank you. Bye.

(Sighs heavily)

(Horn blares)

(Gunshot)

What are you doing down here?
You gonna be inducted?

- Talking to me?
- Yeah, I'm talking to you, son.

You like to sit like that on US property?
Stand up.

Attention! Stand at attention.
Take that cigarette out of your mouth.

Stand at attention. Come on. Attention!
Stand at attention! That's it.

Put your hair back.
Come on, put your hair back. Back!

That's it. Make a man out of you
in the army. Come on, follow me!

Hup two, three, four...

I went there as a right-winger
and I thought I'd get out this way.

An extreme right-winger. I said
I'd kill all these chinks every day...

Well, I asked to see the psychiatrist,

and he told me, "You're just
a little overzealous, that's all."

That's what he told me,
"You're overzealous."

And I said...
Because, I told him terrible things,

I said I wanted to kill
fifty Chinese a day,

if I was over there,
I'd kill as many as I could,

and I started swearing and showed him
an arm band of a secret organization,

a rightist organization that I belonged to,
that I said I was the secretary of.

And he didn't say anything,
he said, "Well, don't worry about it."

Cos he probably thought they could
swing me in the other direction,

kind of moderate...
even it out, even me out.

That'd even me out, alright.

So could you take pictures of me,
cos I need it for a passport?

I'm trying to get out of the country.
I'm not gonna stay here and do this...

That way, a few months,
a few weeks would pass and...

- You're not feeling patriotic, huh?
- No.

- Well, why is that?
- I don't know.

Well, listen, I'll tell you what,
I'll take your picture because...

- No, no, not when I'm working.
- Oh, that's good.

Do you want a...?
How'd you like to wear a hat?

How am I gonna take your picture
if you don't cooperate? What is this?

You got on too much clothing.

I can't take your picture.

What's on your shirt collar, what is that?
Loosen the tie.

That's it!

You do that
and I'll take your picture.

Fantastic.

- You got great possibilities.
- What am I gonna do?

I can only stay out of the country a few
months before they catch up with me.

- I think you're terribly photogenic.
- You do?

Yeah.

And I might be too,
but I haven't decided.

- Listen, erm... this is all too...
- Oh, yeah.

Listen, it's not going to be
as bad as all that over there.

I'd do just about anything
for a boy in a uniform.

(Gunshot)

This is Raymond Tuttle,
your Vietnam correspondent,

just off the Doc Trang supply route.

The trucks you hear in the background
are bringing United States supplies

to our troops just below the DMZ.

Behind me,
in a seemingly tranquil swamp,

is hidden a highly seasoned squad
of Vietcong snipers,

who's mission it is
to shoot American convoy drivers,

in an attempt to halt the smooth flow
of supplies to our front lines.

To counteract this threat,
the United States has deployed

a highly trained tactical group,

whose mission it is
to seek and destroy this enemy.

I am with one of the members
of this elite force today.

- Private Jon...
- Jon Rubin, sir.

1st Division, Special Forces,
2nd Air Cavalry...

(Aircraft overhead)

Well, what are you doing here,
Private Rubin?

Er... what am I doing here?

- I don't know.
- I mean in this particular area.

Oh, well, in this particular...
Search and destroy, sir.

You seek out the enemy
and destroy them, is that right?

Yes, sir. For example, this whole area
is heavily infested with Vietcong.

- Vietcong?
- Yes.

For example, just looking at these
bushes over here, the clump of trees...

I would say that there are
at least ten VC there.

(Tuttle) Ten VC in those bushes there?

Except the only problem is
you can't shoot there.

I wouldn't. I mean they tell you to,
to shoot at anyone, any oriental.

But I just can't, cos perhaps
there might be our allies, you never know.

- I see somebody over there.
- You're right.

Private Rubin has now got
the Vietcong in sight.

He's got his... finger on the trigger.

He's sighted down his scope.

(Rubin) A white piece of cloth...

(Tuttle) Hanging up
a white piece of cloth.

(Rubin) It seems to be a kind of white...

...pants or something. Let me...

Private Rubin is advancing up
on the enemy. We're going to follow him.

- Alright now, keep low.
- Get down.

Very quiet. Quiet, quiet.
Keep that soundman down.

Private Rubin has spotted
his enemy again, down the scope.

Oh, wait. Those aren't just any pants,
they're women's pants.

(Tuttle) Private Rubin has just
spotted a pair of women's pants.

- It is a woman.
- It's not the Vietcong, it's a woman.

No, it's a VC, except it's a woman.

Er... well, what do you do
in a situation like that?

Gonna have to kill her anyway.

It's a VC, so his orders are
to kill her anyway.

She's in his sight, and I think Private
Rubin is now going to shoot the VC.

She's gonna be out of his sight...

(Rubin) I think there might be
more of them.

Now, stay here.
Everyone be very, very quiet.

Stay here, don't make a sound.
Keep the camera on her.

Hey!

Alright, up, up.
Come on, up! Up!

Over here, stand here.
Right here. Here, up!

Back!

Ever been in a room?
Do you speak English?

You speak English?

Do you speak French?
Parlez-vous français, huh?

There's a window...
You know a window? Fenêtre, huh?

Smile. Smile.

Pick this up like this. Good.

Let me see.

Sit, sit, sit.

Alright now, you're sitting alone
in your room, as if you're alone.

Nobody's watching.
Take off your shoes first.

Take them off.
Smile, smile.

Smile. At the camera.

You yawn. That's it.

Just undo it.
Open it up. That's it.

'Very good.'

'I'm not saying you never had it so good,
but that is a fact, isn't it?'

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Would you like to go away?

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ Come and see me, don't delay

♪ Spend a day or two with Uncle Sam

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ I'm coming to make a small request

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings

♪ You'll soon find I know what's best

♪ So be my guest,
but you do what I say

♪ You do what I say...

♪ Great American welcome machine

♪ Is scantily colored in army green

♪ La-la-la la-la-la la-la
La-la-la-la la-la la-la

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings... ♪