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Commandos aren't afraid to jump, you know.
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But he's no Commando!
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00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,383
Welcome back
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Yes, okay, this is VJ
Emmie right back at you
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Bringing you da new movie from -
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Home of the Best of Da Best Movies
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See it
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and believe
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Kampala, Uganda
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This is Swaaz
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Swaaz means Schwarzenegger
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in Uganda
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Swaaz is a good man
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His wife is in the Hospital
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She's dying
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He must do what he needs to do
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to save her
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Go on, get outta here.
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He has a gun
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Everyone down.
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I said down.
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And shut up.
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00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:16,720
You a hero?
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Drop da phone.
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Open, open
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I said open
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No, no, please no
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I have a key
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Ugandan key
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Money, bring the money
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His partner -
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Buddy Spencer
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Money, money, money, money
Hurry your ass up.
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It's a big heist
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The winner takes it all
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Who are you? What are you doing?
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Hey!
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This is Captain Alex
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He's alive!
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Captain Alex is alive!
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He's dead
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Captain Alex is sooo dead
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Don't look.
Who Killed Captain Alex?
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Schwarzenegger
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Come on, you fat bastard.
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This is a bad idea
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I wanna go back to school
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Don't move. Wait for me.
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I want to be a doctor
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or a lawyer
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I don't care
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Shut the door.
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Jump, jump, jump.
54
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Jump?
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Are you crazy?
56
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Meanwhile
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Ghetto Rally
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Wakaliwood Ghetto Rally
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Subaru
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The Police is here
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Now! Jump, jump.
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Like Rambo
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No way, you jump
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Now, go, go. Go now!
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He's just a mere boy
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on a Supa Tough mission
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Bastard
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Stop the car.
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Now it's time 2 see the real action
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Did you enjoy Who Killed Captain Alex?
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Now it's time for Bad Black
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Don't let him escape.
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From
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Wakaliwood Studios, Nateete,
Uganda Where to, Boss? Shut
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up and drive. Is this yours?
You have keys?! Police
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I need a ride
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a Supa Ride
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The Ugandan Schwarzenegger
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Swaaz on the run
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Movie
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Stop. Stop.
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Supa Fire
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Police on da move
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He can fit the unfitables
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Just watch
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My bums
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Behind you
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00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:05,759
Fire, fire
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He's over here.
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Supa Warrior
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Very dangerous Swaaz
Come on.
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My wife
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I need to get to my wife
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He's getting away
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I'm too old for this shit
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He's free!
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Police is serious
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Look ooooooooout!
99
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He's back! Run for your life.
100
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Sweet Jesus! Allah, save us.
101
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More deadlier than expected
102
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Fight for life
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Fight to the death
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00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,126
My wife, I love my wife
105
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Ladies and Gentlemen, the impenetrable
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So incredible
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Most unexpendable
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Ugandan Schwarzenegger!
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Welcome to Uganda
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Okay, Supa Fans
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In this movie
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you're going to learn all about Love
113
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,122
and Revenge!
114
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I love you
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00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,170
You have money?
116
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,047
Get away from my sister.
117
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,300
That's it. You're a dead man.
118
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,012
Love is hard in Wakaliga
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I'll never get laid.
120
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,434
Here we go
121
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:02,936
Again!
122
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,816
Now you're going 2 see
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00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,277
This is life I told you scum to stay away
from my family. In Wakaliwood ghetto
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00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:31,965
Go home
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Get out!
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00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,302
Now, it's a war
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between ghetto people and uptown
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00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,307
Okay, I go home
129
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,478
Why are you idiots always fighting?
130
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:46,688
Love Story
131
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,107
Love of Action
132
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,116
Good fighters
133
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,994
Ghetto fighters
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00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,170
You're gonna give me a heart attack.
135
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,337
You all crazy!
136
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,262
Every Master with his own technique
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00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,101
Kill each other somewhere else.
138
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,353
Stop it! Go to Hell!
139
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,900
Non-stop deadly kicks
140
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,614
Get out of here. Just go away.
141
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,493
All that money gone.
What are we gonna do?
142
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Supa Loss
143
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:46,706
There is no supper
144
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:50,668
Don't cry, Grandma. It'll be okay.
Come here, child.
145
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,593
Bring Grandma some water, child.
Later that evening
146
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Get out of here. Go on.
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00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,807
Get the hell out.
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00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,561
Mom, you put yourself
under so much pressure.
149
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,814
You're too old to raise a child -
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00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,651
especially one that isn't ours.
151
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:19,030
Just throw her out.
We need to think of ourselves.
152
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:23,785
Look what it's doing to you.
The kid's not worth it.
153
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:28,831
The child means nothing.
She isn't family.
154
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:32,961
The street ghetto
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00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,214
She left home
156
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,431
Hey, cutie. Where you goin'?
157
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,191
Come here.
158
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,069
Help me! Help me!
159
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:02,949
Quiet
160
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,466
Where'd she go?
161
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,885
She's stronger than she looks.
162
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:41,738
My Grandma was sick, and my
Uncle told her to thrown me away.
163
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:48,286
He said I was too much trouble,
and that I wasn't even family.
164
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:51,039
That's why I'm here on the streets.
165
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,295
Good. Now you.
166
00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:02,550
My mother was making dinner,
and I dropped it on the floor.
167
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,136
I ran away before my step-
father could beat me.
168
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,555
Work on it. You.
169
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:12,268
This is the life I chose, man.
No regrets.
170
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:16,147
Listen up - the new ones
are your responsibility.
171
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,566
Show them what to do -
172
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,195
but make damn sure they
make money tomorrow.
173
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,364
Got it?
The street boss
174
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,324
He is the leader
175
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,208
Little Commandos -
176
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,586
You remember why
we're here, don't you?
177
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:49,680
Families - All families
178
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,350
They can break you apart
or keep you together
179
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:56,354
Families
180
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:02,443
All families - They can break
you apart or keep you together
181
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:07,323
There is something you
have done, Dear Father
182
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,534
Some used to starve at home
183
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,245
It is so painful
184
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,498
Some left their homes
because of the punishments
185
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,375
Why do you want to
bring tears to my eyes?
186
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,002
They had to leave, as they
thought it can be better
187
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,713
It makes me want to leave,
and start my own family
188
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:27,260
Families - All families
189
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,221
They can break you apart
or keep you together
190
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:35,268
There is something you
have done, Dear Mother
191
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,645
So, you'll find them on the streets
192
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,398
It is so painful
not well taken care of
193
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:44,861
Families - All families
194
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:49,282
They can even struggle,
just to be earning a living
195
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,428
Metal scrap
196
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,017
You a thief!
197
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,810
What are you doing with this?
198
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:20,646
I'm sorry
199
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,773
What else did you steal?
I didn't know.
200
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:26,819
Tell the truth
201
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,447
Hit harder. She'll talk.
202
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,535
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
203
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:39,665
Let's burn her.
204
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:40,791
Please, no
205
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,335
This is none of your business.
206
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,171
She's just hungry.
This is someone's child.
207
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:46,964
Whose child?
208
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,674
Get out of here.
209
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:53,804
I see you again
210
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:54,972
I kill you
211
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,557
Seriously
212
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,520
These young kids always sell aluminum
213
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,104
I got some good stuff. Hey. Man.
214
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,357
How you been?
- Same old shit. Just for a small amount of money
215
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,734
so they can take care of themselves
216
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,820
How much you want? Gimme 50,000.
217
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,950
Gotta weight it and see.
218
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,996
1.5 Kg. You see?
219
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,877
I'll give you 1500.
220
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,004
He's a good man
221
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,757
He was like this child, once
222
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,760
I'll be back with better stuff.
223
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,097
Understand? You sure?
224
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,100
You wanna eat, you have to work.
225
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,644
That's the way it goes around here
226
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,146
They beg
227
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,648
for da boss
228
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,236
If you fail to do so, you'll
229
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,154
suffer the consequences
230
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,121
What's this?
231
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:04,667
You're stealing from me.
No, a man gave it to me.
232
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,544
Thief.
233
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,264
She's stealing money from us.
234
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,434
- That's not true.
- Shut up.
235
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:26,939
You joke with me?
236
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,692
You think I'm a joke?
237
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,320
You see this?
238
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,697
This a dog tag. I'll teach
you that I'm a Commando.
239
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,450
I can kill you right now.
240
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,339
Sandra.
241
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,059
Next time, you. You will die.
242
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,353
1 will kill you next time.
243
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,355
If you joke around me.
244
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,318
A Commando. She jokes
with a Commando. Me.
245
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,382
She does what she must
246
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,258
to survive
247
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,493
You can't kill me.
248
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,288
You're just a kid.
You cannot kill me.
249
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,167
I'm a Commando.
You cannot kill me.
250
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,056
10 Years Later
251
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,814
Now, you gonna meet
252
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,568
From New York 2 Uganda
253
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,321
America's Best Action Star
254
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,408
Alan Ssali, Masajja wa Kabaka
255
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,160
What is your name?
256
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:50,207
I don't understand you,
SO your name is now Betty.
257
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,335
America's Van Damme
258
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,172
Here in Uganda
259
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,049
because his wife kicked him!
260
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,471
Open your mouth.
261
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,227
See? That's how you do it.
262
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,647
Very good. Very good.
Okay, you're done.
263
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,399
He never asks for money.
264
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,568
You're very healthy. You're very fine.
265
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:23,240
The doctor has an assistant
266
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,118
Wesley Snipes
267
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:28,871
Nooo.
268
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,458
Yeah, that one.
269
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,007
It's okay. Thank you.
And we need one of these.
270
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,635
Later after
271
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,765
Long day.
272
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,773
Is that a dog tag?
273
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,025
Yeah, it's a dog tag.
274
00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,485
Are you a Commando?
275
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,654
No. No, I'm not a Commando.
276
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,656
But, my father was a Commando.
277
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:04,782
This is his.
278
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:07,034
My mother was a Commando.
279
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:08,786
And my brother is a Commando.
280
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,038
My dog was a Commando.
281
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,540
Dog? 'Embwa'?
282
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:15,292
You have a Commando dog?
283
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,963
Doctor, are these sweets?
284
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,007
No, they're not sweets.
Nothing here is sweets.
285
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,552
They look like sweets.
286
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,930
No. No, they don't. And
they don't taste like them.
287
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:30,766
You don't like them.
You don't want them.
288
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,062
Clean up, and we're good.
Then we'll go home.
289
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,578
You're too good. You're
too strong is the problem.
290
00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,037
Is he dead?
291
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:53,497
Wake up. Time to find a job.
292
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:55,958
Ohhh, this is Uganda, I thought he's dead.
293
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,920
I'm comin'.
294
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,590
How you doing?
Yeah, you're lookin' good.
295
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:05,551
That's for sure. Okay,
come on. Let's go home.
296
00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:15,352
We got his bank statements, Black. This
Hirigi's a very rich man. Back to da Ghetto
297
00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:19,356
Remember, it's 10 years later
298
00:23:19,773 --> 00:23:22,318
Now all the ghetto kids are grown-ups
299
00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:23,611
What about you?
300
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:25,738
They have a plan against a rich man
301
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:29,366
He likes to drink at Club 17.
He's there every afternoon.
302
00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:34,246
The girl, she's now the leader
303
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,706
of this gang
304
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,750
Hirigi has a wife, Black.
305
00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:42,254
And a teenage son, named Kenny.
306
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:44,757
Here's a photo.
307
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:52,723
What's with the muzungu?
308
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:58,270
That's the new doctor. He won't last.
309
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,399
This is easy money.
310
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,113
- I'm Bad Black.
- Bad Black?
311
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:11,116
I'm Ssali. Doctor Ssali.
312
00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:14,787
I heard you're doing
a great job in my community.
313
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,665
Thank you. It's only the beginning.
314
00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:19,792
May I have your contacts?
315
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,794
You never know -
I can be of any help.
316
00:24:22,086 --> 00:24:23,087
Don't do it!
317
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:24,546
That would be amazing.
318
00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,799
We are just beginning
and we need alot of help.
319
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:28,884
You have dog tags?
320
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,303
Commando?
321
00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:33,055
What do you think?
322
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:36,433
You see this?
323
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,936
This is a dog tag. I'll teach
you that I am a Commando.
324
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,241
Hello, dead muzungu
325
00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:54,827
He's a Commando.
326
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:58,288
He must be a spy. We should
find out what he knows.
327
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,041
I hate Commandos.
328
00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:06,588
He's Hirigi, the rich man
329
00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:13,220
The Mayor has friends there,
that's the problem.
330
00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:17,683
Otherwise, we could just throw
them out and take the land.
331
00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:29,570
Who's the babe?
332
00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:32,948
Go find out,
if you can still walk.
333
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,243
Watch and learn.
334
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:40,205
Kung Fu Master
335
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:41,874
of Love
336
00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,501
You're not drinking?
337
00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:47,337
I don't drink.
338
00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:50,132
You don't drink? That's a first.
339
00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:56,513
You mean there's
nothing here that you like?
340
00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:00,851
Maybe one thing.
341
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:07,024
Please, don't hurt me. Please.
I'll kill you. Serious.
342
00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:11,653
You're here alone? Who says I'm alone?
Ohhh, it's da same man.
343
00:26:12,738 --> 00:26:14,156
She's seeking vengeance
344
00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:17,993
I don't see you with anyone.
Yet.
345
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:21,288
Ugandan women
346
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,665
They are beautiful
347
00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:25,918
but deadly
348
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,296
I -I -I love you
349
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:33,509
Sorry, but I need to go.
Something came up.
350
00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:37,888
No problem.
351
00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:39,932
It was a pleasure meeting you.
352
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:44,311
Thanks for the help.
I'll talk to you later.
353
00:26:52,653 --> 00:26:53,904
Your phone number.
354
00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:55,322
Stupid
355
00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:59,326
There's no need. I'll see
you again, if it's meant to be.
356
00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:04,832
I don't leave things to fate.
357
00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:09,586
She's good
358
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:16,218
Hirigi
359
00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:18,178
His home
360
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:20,347
His family
361
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,474
I think she's wonderful, Kenny.
She's the one, Mom.
362
00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:27,729
And it's about time I had grandchildren.
363
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:31,817
Welcome home, sir.
364
00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:36,697
What's the emergency?
We have good news.
365
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,867
A new maid?
She don't look like much.
366
00:27:41,076 --> 00:27:42,870
This is Ken's fiancee.
367
00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:46,248
What's that? And she's pregnant.
368
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:52,754
What are you saying?
They're getting married.
369
00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:58,010
Is this a sick joke?
You think this is funny?
370
00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:03,348
Kenny, where'd you find this whore?
371
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:07,477
She lives across town.
Be a man and say it. The ghetto?
372
00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:11,481
I've known her for years.
What are my rules?
373
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:17,029
Never go across the bridge
and mess with that filth.
374
00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,781
You got up. You want to fight me?
375
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,410
The other girlfriend
376
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,163
This is getting good
377
00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:29,291
How can you let this happen?
What's the matter with you?
378
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,169
She wants money!
379
00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:34,671
What's going on?
380
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:40,928
It's my life. I love mt fiancee,
and to Hell with you.
381
00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:46,683
How can you love this roach turd?
Much less get it pregnant?
382
00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:49,895
Ken, you -
383
00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:53,649
I've given you my time, my love -
384
00:28:53,941 --> 00:28:55,943
Ohhh, baby, it's nothing. I love you.
385
00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:01,073
Go apologize to her.
386
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:03,075
That's it! Get out of here.
387
00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,411
To hell with ghetto
Leave this house.
388
00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:09,414
Are you crazy?
389
00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:13,293
Why are you hitting me?
You know why.
390
00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:16,838
What an asshole
391
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:27,557
Bad Black
392
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:35,315
Uganda's Best Worst Thief
393
00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:48,537
Back to Alan Ssali, Muzugu Muganda
394
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:50,622
People have been waiting for you.
395
00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:54,501
Doctor, what's wrong?
396
00:29:55,585 --> 00:29:56,753
I met a woman.
397
00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:58,547
She stole everything.
398
00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:00,382
She stole my money,
she stole my passport -
399
00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:01,967
but she stole my dog tags.
400
00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:03,719
Your dog tags?
401
00:30:04,845 --> 00:30:07,014
I went to the Police.
They're not gonna do anything.
402
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:08,765
And I don't know what to do.
403
00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:11,476
You should not go to the Police.
404
00:30:11,768 --> 00:30:14,771
You are a Commando.
I'm not a Commando. I'm a Doctor.
405
00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:20,277
You're father was a Commando.
It is in your blood.
406
00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:21,653
You are Commando.
407
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:24,865
If you can't train yourself,
I can train you.
408
00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:28,660
How can you train me?
I'm a Doctor. I don't know anything.
409
00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,121
First lesson
410
00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:36,126
Get da hell outta here.
Can't you see the Doctor's sick?
411
00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:39,546
He looks fine to us.
We've been here all morning.
412
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,548
Learn to take care of yourselves.
413
00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:43,550
Your adults, aren't you?
414
00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:44,926
You go
415
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,015
You don't have to fear.
416
00:30:50,307 --> 00:30:52,059
I believe in you.
417
00:30:54,227 --> 00:30:55,187
What da hell?
418
00:30:55,979 --> 00:30:57,022
Are you ready?
419
00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:59,066
Time 4 Action. Let's go!
420
00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:02,944
What the hell, man?
421
00:31:03,236 --> 00:31:04,237
Run! Run!
422
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:05,447
You have to be a Commando
423
00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:06,698
You have to learn
424
00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:08,450
to fight 4 yourself!
425
00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:10,952
Forget your wife in America
426
00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:12,704
She hates you!
427
00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:14,706
Run.
428
00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:16,958
That, my friend, was poo poo
429
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:18,335
For real
430
00:31:18,668 --> 00:31:19,795
This is Uganda
431
00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:21,588
Poo poo everywhere
432
00:31:23,006 --> 00:31:24,841
You don't want to be a Commando?
433
00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:27,469
Yet, your brother is a Commando
434
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:29,471
You even have -
435
00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:30,722
Dodge!
436
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:32,474
A Commando dog
437
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:33,934
I'm a Doctor, dammit.
438
00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,228
Just leave me alone
439
00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:46,613
What's this?
440
00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:57,999
Get him!
441
00:31:58,333 --> 00:31:59,376
Get muzungu
442
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,878
Wait, wait. Wait.
443
00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:04,506
Eat da white guy
444
00:32:05,090 --> 00:32:06,383
Cook him alive!
445
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:08,885
He must be delicious
446
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:12,514
They're gonna kill me
447
00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:16,143
Somebody help me
448
00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:20,021
Idi Amin
449
00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:23,024
I brought for you food.
I'm eating this. This is good.
450
00:32:23,316 --> 00:32:25,777
It's "kikommando'. It's
good for Commandos.
451
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:27,988
Yes! It's good for Commandos.
452
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,823
I like this. This is my favorite.
This is rubbish.
453
00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:31,408
You're not a civilian!
454
00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:33,076
I brought for you food.
455
00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:34,786
You eat kikommando
456
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,247
Running water.
457
00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:38,999
This is water?
458
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:42,043
I have to drink this?
459
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:45,672
Master
460
00:32:47,382 --> 00:32:49,050
Da Kung Fu Master
461
00:32:52,262 --> 00:32:53,555
The Karate Kid
462
00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:55,640
What is this?
463
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:58,685
Some 'matoke'? Maybe some candy bars.
464
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:00,437
Are you stupid?
465
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:01,438
Push ups.
466
00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:02,689
Miyagi Supa Tough
467
00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,232
Down, down, down. Push ups.
468
00:33:04,524 --> 00:33:05,317
Do it
469
00:33:07,110 --> 00:33:08,570
The Ugandan Miyagi
470
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:10,697
One.
471
00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:16,411
That is two. That is two. Three.
472
00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:25,420
Wesley Snipes
473
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:28,340
Good teacher
474
00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:35,305
I'm going to teach you how to kick.
475
00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:38,475
Now, do it.
476
00:33:48,068 --> 00:33:50,570
Are you ready? Now, kick this.
477
00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:51,696
Supa Master
478
00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:00,455
I'm showing you. I'm showing you.
479
00:34:02,207 --> 00:34:03,250
Catch. Catch.
480
00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:08,880
He's trying to be a good Commando
481
00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:12,259
A good soldier
482
00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:14,386
That's good.
483
00:34:18,348 --> 00:34:19,599
Master, I'm done
484
00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:24,604
I think you are ready.
485
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:26,523
Ready to die
486
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:29,901
Kenny
487
00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:32,904
Hirigi's son, Kenny
488
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:38,618
Families - All families
489
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:40,245
Someone tortured?
490
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,130
Bad Black
491
00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:54,634
What are you doing here, rich kid?
492
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,262
I want some drugs.
Now, he wanna try the ghetto life
493
00:34:57,554 --> 00:35:01,683
Who said we have drugs?
I saw some musicians.
494
00:35:02,892 --> 00:35:05,312
Not all musicians use drugs, man.
495
00:35:08,982 --> 00:35:11,192
Find out why he's here.
496
00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:15,697
I have an idea.
497
00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:18,074
Don't involve drugs
in your problems, man.
498
00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:19,326
Listen to him
499
00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:21,286
It's good advice
500
00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:22,787
You hearing me?
501
00:35:23,079 --> 00:35:24,247
I should take it
502
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:27,459
I see this all the time -
Nothing good comes from it.
503
00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:32,464
What's he want?
To get high, man.
504
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:34,966
- He got money?
- Lots.
505
00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:42,182
Families - All families
506
00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:44,601
Stop it. Stop it.
507
00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:49,356
Think back to when we were kids.
508
00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:56,112
To when we were frightened
and begging on the streets.
509
00:35:58,406 --> 00:36:00,742
To when you were thrown from home.
510
00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:02,619
We need to feel it.
511
00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:06,748
The song needs to be
perfect for tonight's concert.
512
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:10,460
Wow, look at all the hot women.
513
00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:14,005
What are you looking at?
Those two.
514
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:17,133
I bet they're twins.
515
00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:22,639
Careful. You're disrespecting our boss.
But, they're hot.
516
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,394
Keep him high and out of sight.
517
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,230
Give him some Jet Fuel.
518
00:36:31,356 --> 00:36:34,776
You like to fly? You're gonna
be the first Ugandan on the Moon.
519
00:36:43,493 --> 00:36:45,620
I'm soaring thru the air.
520
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:50,375
Nothing can stop me.
I can do whatever I want.
521
00:36:51,376 --> 00:36:54,254
Out of the way, stupid birds.
522
00:37:03,763 --> 00:37:05,640
Now, it's time for Action
523
00:37:12,647 --> 00:37:16,067
Wait for my signal.
524
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:20,071
Alan Ssali, Masajja wa Kabaka
525
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:22,073
Now he's Commando
526
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,705
Where are my dog tags?
527
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,207
Supa Tough
528
00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:33,209
Looking for a wife?
529
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,295
Think you'll find one in Uganda?!
530
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:39,090
Yeah!
531
00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:41,468
Beat muzungu! Beat him good.
532
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:44,304
This is ghetto
533
00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:48,433
Hey, you fuckin' American. What
the hell you looking for here?
534
00:37:49,058 --> 00:37:49,976
Owe Nkima
535
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:51,728
"Ugandan Supa Soldier'
536
00:37:53,146 --> 00:37:54,981
Hey, he's winning. He's winning!
537
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:56,983
Ohhh, he's losing.
538
00:38:09,204 --> 00:38:10,830
What are you looking for?
No one.
539
00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:12,207
- You saying?
- Black?
540
00:38:12,499 --> 00:38:13,625
Behind you. Behind you.
541
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:16,002
Supa Fighter
542
00:38:19,214 --> 00:38:21,132
Long Island Kick
543
00:38:33,937 --> 00:38:35,647
Jesus, they're gonna kill me
544
00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:38,775
Run, muzungu
545
00:38:39,359 --> 00:38:41,653
Miyagi! Come and help me, Miyagi!
546
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:43,780
This time muzungu is dead
547
00:38:52,622 --> 00:38:53,915
Mama Mia
548
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,005
No escape
549
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:06,010
Ohhh, in the poo poo
550
00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,637
Da poo poo
551
00:39:07,929 --> 00:39:09,430
Ugandan poo poo
552
00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,307
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
553
00:39:12,141 --> 00:39:13,184
Miyagi, where are you?
554
00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:14,394
What is it?
555
00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:16,396
I can't. There's too many of them.
556
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:18,064
Are you mad?
557
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:19,774
You can do it!
558
00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:21,568
It took me years to be tough.
559
00:39:22,652 --> 00:39:24,070
Go. I said go.
560
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,196
Do it!
561
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:27,073
Go back. Go!
562
00:39:27,991 --> 00:39:29,158
I'll do it
563
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:33,162
l can do it. I can do it.
564
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:35,373
Hey, it's Uncle Benon
Another dead muzungu.
565
00:39:36,749 --> 00:39:37,959
Wrong movie
566
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:40,378
I have one child. A son.
567
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:42,088
Back to the Mugaga
568
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:46,676
But, I no longer consider
him family. He ruined his life.
569
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:51,097
Is it drugs?
Ghetto life has its consequences.
570
00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:54,225
I'm scared of the people down there.
571
00:39:54,684 --> 00:39:58,730
As soon as I buy the land,
I'll throw them all out.
572
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:04,360
But, those people can
kill their own parents.
573
00:40:05,445 --> 00:40:09,741
My son is not in my life.
You have nothing to fear.
574
00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:15,246
In fact, that's why
I'm looking for a new wife.
575
00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:20,209
One who can give me a proper son,
and take over my inheritance.
576
00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:23,546
Sir, I would be honored
to be your wife. But -
577
00:40:23,838 --> 00:40:24,881
That's fast
578
00:40:32,805 --> 00:40:35,433
Ohhh, Hirigi's in Love
579
00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:36,976
Dumb bastard
580
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:38,645
What is it? Tell me.
581
00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:42,649
Well, what if -
582
00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:50,406
you first transfer your money to me, so
I can start being a good mother to our son?
583
00:40:50,740 --> 00:40:51,824
Ohhh, good idea
584
00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:53,701
Is that all? No problem. We
can do it tomorrow. You smart
585
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,120
I trust you
586
00:40:56,829 --> 00:40:58,164
Really? You mean it?
587
00:40:58,706 --> 00:41:01,292
Of course. We'll go to my lawyer.
I love you.
588
00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:06,089
Men, we can be so stupid
All families
589
00:41:07,382 --> 00:41:12,011
They can break us apart
or keep us together
590
00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:14,931
All families
591
00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:21,938
They can break us apart
or keep us together
592
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:26,901
There is something you
have done, Dear Husband
593
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:32,073
Why do you want to
bring tears to my eyes?
594
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:36,452
It is so painful
595
00:41:37,286 --> 00:41:41,541
This is great. They're singing on the
bridge between the rich and the poor.
596
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:47,422
Both sides will get the message -
that family should bring people together.
597
00:41:54,887 --> 00:41:57,557
Remember, she is the ghetto woman
598
00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:00,977
This is where this woman comes from
599
00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:07,483
Hirigi is sooo happy
600
00:42:09,694 --> 00:42:11,320
but not for long
601
00:42:18,161 --> 00:42:19,370
The Ghetto
602
00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:22,623
'Richie Rich'
603
00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,006
What are we doing here?
604
00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:41,809
Welcome home, dear. Hungry? No thank
you, Grandma. Hey, it's Jajja
605
00:42:42,101 --> 00:42:43,352
from beginning
606
00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:49,734
Have a seat.
607
00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:52,612
You gonna need it
608
00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:56,991
You two know each other?
609
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:03,790
I want you to meet my boyfriend.
We're gonna get married.
610
00:43:06,501 --> 00:43:09,170
Sweet Jesus, I hope you're
either drunk or asleep -
611
00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:12,048
Are you a retarded goat?
612
00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:17,053
What da hell is she talking about?
613
00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:21,140
She's so old, she's become senile.
614
00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:27,271
Is it a sin for a rich man to marry
a young, beautiful woman?
615
00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:30,441
Asshole!
616
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:35,071
This is your own granddaughter.
617
00:43:35,488 --> 00:43:38,533
She's the child of the daughter
you let die in the ghetto.
618
00:43:41,035 --> 00:43:41,994
I'm pregnant.
619
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,830
I'll kill you! You're dead.
620
00:43:44,413 --> 00:43:45,581
Flavia?
621
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:48,918
The grandfather?
622
00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,712
She's marrying the grandfather?
623
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,090
We need to go back to my lawyer.
624
00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:55,216
Bad Black is crazy!
625
00:43:58,886 --> 00:44:00,429
Did they Beat the Rat?
626
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:01,681
Did they?
627
00:44:02,932 --> 00:44:04,225
I'm going to vomit
628
00:44:07,186 --> 00:44:08,563
What are you doing?
629
00:44:09,438 --> 00:44:11,107
This now belongs to me.
630
00:44:16,279 --> 00:44:18,865
You and this old hag -
you think you can steal from me?
631
00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:26,873
Don't you know who I am?!
I'm a very powerful man.
632
00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:31,878
That's it. I'm gonna buy this land
and throw you all in the gutter.
633
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,130
With what money?
634
00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:39,343
Back to Muzungu Muganda, Alan Ssali
635
00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:41,554
Thank God
636
00:44:41,846 --> 00:44:42,889
Muzungu, how are you?
637
00:44:43,181 --> 00:44:45,516
I'm fine. And how are you? Okay.
638
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:48,978
What is your name?
My name is Rachel.
639
00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:51,480
Rachel, that's a beautiful name.
Where is your mother?
640
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:53,608
My Mom has gone to work.
641
00:44:53,900 --> 00:44:56,736
And your Dad?
I don't have a Dad.
642
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,405
Do you like candy? Sweets. Yes.
643
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:03,659
Do you know her?
644
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:05,912
Yes, that is Black.
645
00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:09,290
Yes, everyone knows her.
646
00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:13,169
Do you know her?
ll met her, yes. I know her.
647
00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:15,922
She is Black.
648
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:21,427
Take me to her.
First, give me my sweets.
649
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:22,929
Ugandan women
650
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:27,058
Thank you.
651
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:34,315
Come, come.
652
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:45,868
Here.
653
00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:55,711
Ooooooh, Ssali's mad
654
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,588
You'll be mad, too
655
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,216
if you can only act in Uganda
656
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:03,469
Hirigi likes to drink at Club 17.
657
00:46:08,933 --> 00:46:10,101
Watch dogs
658
00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:19,235
I want my stuff back
659
00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:24,240
Now, he's Commando
660
00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:26,242
For real
661
00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:36,752
Mercenary
662
00:46:44,176 --> 00:46:46,304
There she is. Kill her!
663
00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:51,267
Look at my car.
664
00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:52,935
Please, help me
665
00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:54,812
She stole everything you see.
666
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:57,690
Look at my house. It's ruined.
667
00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:06,240
That's her?
668
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:11,412
Just throw her out.
She's nothing.
669
00:47:12,371 --> 00:47:14,498
She's not family.
670
00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:17,668
As long as she can remember
671
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:19,045
Hey, you -
672
00:47:19,879 --> 00:47:21,922
Why do you cause
problems for everyone?
673
00:47:22,882 --> 00:47:26,510
Now, I'm gonna throw
you from this home, too.
674
00:47:31,057 --> 00:47:32,767
He came to finish her off
675
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:35,686
She finished him off
676
00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:45,905
You're telling me Bad Black is
giving money away in the slums?
677
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:47,990
Yes, sir.
678
00:47:48,449 --> 00:47:52,870
What kind of criminal is this?!
Why can't the Police stop him?
679
00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:58,334
Bad Black is very,
very wise and street smart.
680
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:03,881
The ghetto loves and protects the gang.
They have spies everywhere.
681
00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:07,635
And Bad Black always
moves with an army of thugs.
682
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:12,807
It's a huge network,
and they have alot of money.
683
00:48:13,849 --> 00:48:17,269
But, that's just part of the problem.
684
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:20,523
We don't even know
what Bad Black looks like.
685
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:23,484
But, we have a plan.
686
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,779
A big arms deal is
goin' down in the slums.
687
00:48:28,447 --> 00:48:30,699
At just the right moment -
688
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:34,245
my Kung Fu Cops will surround them.
689
00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,331
I promise you -
690
00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:42,336
We'll chop off their heads, and throw
Bad Black's corpse in prison forever.
691
00:48:48,717 --> 00:48:50,803
Muzunguuuuuuuuuuuuu
692
00:49:13,742 --> 00:49:15,119
Oooh, da poo poo
693
00:49:15,411 --> 00:49:16,620
No more poo poo
694
00:49:17,830 --> 00:49:21,792
Stallone should fight a crocodile. I'd
pay to see that. Excess use of Ganja
695
00:49:29,216 --> 00:49:30,759
Here 2 stop Black
696
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,220
Forever
697
00:49:38,767 --> 00:49:40,561
Predator's half Jamaican, you know.
698
00:49:46,025 --> 00:49:47,818
Mamacita
699
00:49:51,780 --> 00:49:54,575
Everyone you asked for is here.
700
00:49:55,409 --> 00:49:57,786
Including the gun dealer.
701
00:50:00,915 --> 00:50:02,374
Show Madame the briefcase.
702
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,265
A tough squad on a mission
703
00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,145
Hello
704
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:46,085
Put the guns away. Don't worry.
705
00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:49,296
Gun dealers
706
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:51,966
Gun smugglers
707
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,483
Tough gang
708
00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:11,902
Tougher than Action
709
00:51:15,155 --> 00:51:17,074
Let's talk inside.
710
00:51:18,951 --> 00:51:20,452
Leave the guns here.
711
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:24,248
Watch the briefcase and weapons.
712
00:51:30,170 --> 00:51:31,130
Briefcase
713
00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:34,258
You goddamn thieves!
But, we're all thieves.
714
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:37,595
It's time to deliver
715
00:51:38,470 --> 00:51:39,471
Da movie's on!
716
00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:49,148
Alan Ssali in Action
717
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,276
He has a machine gun
718
00:51:54,361 --> 00:51:55,529
Supa Warrior
719
00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,366
Gimmie my stuff back
720
00:52:06,832 --> 00:52:07,958
Is that Rambo?
721
00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:09,627
Hands up.
722
00:52:24,892 --> 00:52:26,518
Watch dogs!
723
00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:28,479
Don't move.
724
00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:35,569
Ugandan Police
725
00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:41,700
Kung Fu Cop
726
00:52:45,954 --> 00:52:48,624
It's the doctor. He's gone crazy!
727
00:52:52,294 --> 00:52:54,880
America's Best Action Staaaaaaar!
728
00:52:55,506 --> 00:52:56,674
Ugandan Cobra
729
00:52:58,509 --> 00:52:59,593
meets da Panther
730
00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:03,681
Supa Fighter
731
00:53:07,309 --> 00:53:08,060
China
732
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:09,645
China in Uganda
733
00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:19,822
What's wrong?
Another muzungu's gone nuts.
734
00:53:20,114 --> 00:53:21,281
I knew it. I knew it.
735
00:53:21,699 --> 00:53:22,991
Run for your life!
736
00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:27,955
Run, run
737
00:53:28,414 --> 00:53:29,873
Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun!
738
00:53:32,543 --> 00:53:33,794
Save me, please
739
00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:35,254
It's da doctor
740
00:53:35,713 --> 00:53:36,964
He's crazy!
741
00:53:39,007 --> 00:53:40,259
He has a machine gun
742
00:53:40,676 --> 00:53:43,303
We all dead. He's gonna kill us.
743
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:46,265
A new warrior on da block
744
00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:56,942
Dance
745
00:53:57,484 --> 00:53:58,861
Ugandan dance
746
00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:08,746
Worst doctor ever
747
00:54:10,622 --> 00:54:11,540
Fire
748
00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:14,084
Alan Ssali
749
00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:16,879
This doctor
750
00:54:17,254 --> 00:54:18,839
needs borders
751
00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:26,388
He wants Black
752
00:54:31,727 --> 00:54:32,770
Where the fuck are my dog tags?
753
00:54:33,061 --> 00:54:33,896
Let me explain.
754
00:54:39,651 --> 00:54:40,569
Get 'em!
755
00:54:51,622 --> 00:54:54,458
This is Black. This is
who you're looking for.
756
00:54:56,919 --> 00:54:58,420
And I have my dog tags.
757
00:55:01,590 --> 00:55:03,383
Don't fuck with Americans.
758
00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,846
Now U gonna see Uganda's first
759
00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:10,182
Women in Prison movie
760
00:55:11,099 --> 00:55:12,935
You call that a massage?
761
00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,523
See who they're bringing.
762
00:55:34,998 --> 00:55:36,667
Enjoy your new girlfriend.
763
00:55:37,793 --> 00:55:38,836
Suck my dick.
764
00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:46,885
Look at you.
765
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,849
You're mine, now. Understand?
766
00:55:53,851 --> 00:55:56,603
Look at these pretty clothes.
767
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:00,774
Who do you think you are?
Bad Black?
768
00:56:03,068 --> 00:56:04,736
Gonna seduce my husband, too?
769
00:56:08,574 --> 00:56:10,117
Come on, take it easy.
770
00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:14,413
Money, gimmie money
771
00:56:16,331 --> 00:56:17,583
Hurry up.
772
00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,419
Make it my birthday.
773
00:56:30,345 --> 00:56:33,599
This is alot of money.
You must really be Bad Black.
774
00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:37,811
I'm gonna keep this as a souvenir.
775
00:56:38,770 --> 00:56:39,897
Godzilla
776
00:56:40,188 --> 00:56:40,981
Welcome, Bad Black.
777
00:56:41,273 --> 00:56:42,107
Fan of Bad Black
778
00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:43,191
I love your work.
779
00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:46,862
Listen, can you teach me
to seduce rich men, like you?
780
00:56:49,197 --> 00:56:53,118
They can make anyone from
the ghetto just disappear.
781
00:56:56,538 --> 00:56:58,206
Why are you here?
782
00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:02,461
Long story.
783
00:57:03,545 --> 00:57:05,005
Kill, kill, kill
784
00:57:05,297 --> 00:57:09,301
What she do?
Nothing. She just likes it here.
785
00:57:11,887 --> 00:57:14,765
They brought me here
right after I gave birth.
786
00:57:15,474 --> 00:57:17,809
I never even held my child.
787
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:22,898
After all these years, I don't
even know if she's alive.
788
00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:26,860
My father was a very rich man.
789
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,781
He put me here because
of whom I loved.
790
00:57:31,073 --> 00:57:33,283
She was abandoned by the family
791
00:57:34,034 --> 00:57:35,202
like Bad Black
792
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:38,413
Hey, where we going?
793
00:57:39,164 --> 00:57:40,415
Rescue Mission
794
00:57:41,166 --> 00:57:42,834
Kenny on da Rescue Mission
795
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:45,963
All hands on deck.
Ready for take-off.
796
00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:52,928
You're Schwarzenegger.
Rambo. I wanna be Rambo.
797
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,641
Put on your lucky coat.
798
00:57:58,558 --> 00:58:00,268
I need guns.
799
00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:02,813
All da guns. And ammo.
800
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:32,092
A bad man, a bad man,
a bad man, is a bad man.
801
00:58:36,972 --> 00:58:38,849
Hope you like Heaven, man.
802
00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:40,142
Lets do this.
803
00:58:42,394 --> 00:58:44,604
You're the Ghetto Schwarzenegger.
Me am the King
804
00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:46,898
Me da conqueror
805
00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:50,444
Me da boss around
You're our hero. A real movie star.
806
00:58:54,781 --> 00:58:56,491
Say Hello to Commando Jesus.
807
00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:00,120
Rescue Mission
808
00:59:04,166 --> 00:59:06,168
Who are you? Where you going?
809
00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:11,548
Can't you read?
810
00:59:14,634 --> 00:59:16,386
I'm telling you -
811
00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:21,141
women are more dangerous than men.
812
00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:24,352
You want 2 sleep?
813
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,147
Okay, I put to sleep
814
00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:37,449
Bad Black in the house.
815
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:38,700
Bad Black?
816
00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:40,410
All your problems are solved.
817
00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:49,628
Alarm
818
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,801
Get outta here. All of you.
819
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:00,180
You're free. You're free.
820
01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:02,599
Go, you're free
821
01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:04,101
You stay here
822
01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:07,187
It's dangerous outside
823
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:11,983
What are you doing?
You're free in just two days.
824
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:17,114
I don't care. I can't go on.
Think of your daughter.
825
01:00:17,989 --> 01:00:21,409
Come out and play.
I'm just getting started.
826
01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:23,829
Where are you?
827
01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:26,081
Let's see who's the best.
828
01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:30,460
Move, move. Let's go.
Supazilla
829
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:32,003
She's loose
830
01:00:32,420 --> 01:00:33,880
Supazilla's loose
831
01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:38,051
You, there. Stop!
832
01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:43,473
Riots
833
01:00:43,890 --> 01:00:44,975
Prison riots
834
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:47,644
Women
835
01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:49,938
Dangerous Ugandan women
836
01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:56,236
Oh, crap! He's freed all the prisoners.
837
01:00:57,737 --> 01:00:58,655
Commando
838
01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:01,074
Lock all the doors and exits.
839
01:01:04,953 --> 01:01:06,204
Beat the Rat?
840
01:01:11,293 --> 01:01:12,210
Supazilla
841
01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:13,753
Supa Woman!
842
01:01:14,421 --> 01:01:15,213
Supa Warrior
843
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:16,590
Oh, God! No!
844
01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:19,259
She'll destroy Kampala.
845
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:24,806
Godzilla
846
01:01:32,606 --> 01:01:33,523
Mortar fire
847
01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:36,151
Expect da Unexpectable
848
01:01:38,236 --> 01:01:39,905
He claims to be Bad Black
849
01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:42,240
He's Bad Black now
850
01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:49,372
I think I saw Godzilla
851
01:01:54,127 --> 01:01:56,671
Avoid doors and gates.
Jump the walls if necessary.
852
01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:58,882
Split into two teams and surround him.
853
01:02:12,687 --> 01:02:14,022
Expect no Mercy
854
01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:17,400
The situation
855
01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:19,653
now goes beyond monotonous
856
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:29,496
Oh, my God!
857
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:30,747
Where'd she go?
858
01:02:33,333 --> 01:02:34,626
Help me, Museveni!
Call the Military
859
01:02:41,091 --> 01:02:43,510
What's he doing now?
See for yourself.
860
01:02:46,137 --> 01:02:48,598
And I want '24' back on TV.
861
01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:50,934
Best damn show on TV.
862
01:02:52,811 --> 01:02:55,230
That's drugs talking.
863
01:02:56,439 --> 01:02:59,985
That's the son of Hirigi,
the rich guy in town.
864
01:03:01,152 --> 01:03:03,071
Let's play.
865
01:03:03,697 --> 01:03:06,199
Let's get him. But alive.
866
01:03:08,034 --> 01:03:09,202
Alive?
867
01:03:11,871 --> 01:03:12,789
Target
868
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:17,711
More deadlier
869
01:03:21,047 --> 01:03:22,215
He is Rambo
870
01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:24,342
Schwarzenegger
871
01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:25,885
Van Damme
872
01:03:28,138 --> 01:03:29,306
Bruce Willis
873
01:03:31,516 --> 01:03:32,517
Bill Murray
874
01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:36,062
Stallone
875
01:03:37,731 --> 01:03:38,898
Nothing can stop him
876
01:03:39,190 --> 01:03:41,484
He is Schwarzenegger He is
everything, man He's Van Damme
877
01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:48,450
Zoe Bell
878
01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:54,205
Nothing can stop him
879
01:04:04,132 --> 01:04:05,050
Poor Kenny
880
01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:07,719
He has nothing
881
01:04:09,012 --> 01:04:10,472
Lost girlfriends
882
01:04:11,139 --> 01:04:12,098
Lost home
883
01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:14,392
Kenny lost everything
884
01:04:17,812 --> 01:04:19,564
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
885
01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:21,649
My eggplants
886
01:04:25,862 --> 01:04:27,072
Let's call it a draw.
887
01:04:30,950 --> 01:04:32,702
What a movie!
888
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:37,248
Good thing it's over
889
01:04:41,586 --> 01:04:43,963
She has done for her time, now
890
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:04,609
In light of yesterday's events -
891
01:05:04,901 --> 01:05:08,613
All criminal charges against
the defendant are dismissed.
892
01:05:09,614 --> 01:05:12,992
We'll now hear the case
against her as filed by Mr. Hirigi.
893
01:05:13,993 --> 01:05:18,540
Mr. Hirigi accuses
the defendant of extortion
894
01:05:19,124 --> 01:05:21,418
leading to the theft of
his property and assets.
895
01:05:21,793 --> 01:05:24,087
Do you understand the charges?
896
01:05:26,214 --> 01:05:27,966
Innocent or Guilty?
897
01:05:29,551 --> 01:05:31,177
Now, we're going to learn
898
01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:34,013
why Bad Black did everything
899
01:05:36,516 --> 01:05:38,101
Boring
900
01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:42,147
She can talk
901
01:05:46,568 --> 01:05:48,236
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
902
01:05:48,528 --> 01:05:50,196
Swaaz was her father
903
01:05:54,492 --> 01:05:56,161
Swaaz was a good man
904
01:05:57,245 --> 01:05:59,497
and loved in the ghetto
905
01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:06,004
He loved Flavia verrrrrry much You're
my Action Hero. You're mine, too.
906
01:06:10,758 --> 01:06:12,760
But, he had no money.
907
01:06:14,095 --> 01:06:15,805
Is this the bastard?
908
01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:17,640
How dare you touch my daughter?
909
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,060
Wait, I'm not done.
910
01:06:25,482 --> 01:06:29,194
How can you be so stupid, Flavia?
At least I married for Love.
911
01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:33,448
You wanna be poor?
Go and be poor.
912
01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:36,659
But do it alone.
913
01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:40,663
You'll see what interesting
lives the poor lead.
914
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,503
Then Flavia became dying
915
01:06:47,587 --> 01:06:49,047
and pregnant
916
01:06:50,798 --> 01:06:53,176
Doctor, please save my family.
917
01:06:55,094 --> 01:06:56,638
Rescue Mission
918
01:06:58,264 --> 01:06:59,891
Get to the Hospital!
919
01:07:03,895 --> 01:07:05,188
Still a bastard
920
01:07:06,689 --> 01:07:07,857
Here's the money.
921
01:07:08,608 --> 01:07:10,485
Doctor, please save them.
922
01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:12,111
Swaaz saved his baby
923
01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:16,658
But not himself
924
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:21,329
I don't care if she's dead. She's
going to jail. And not Flavia
925
01:07:21,621 --> 01:07:23,039
She's alive.
926
01:07:23,665 --> 01:07:25,083
Where's Swaaz?
927
01:07:26,751 --> 01:07:28,836
Those assholes killed him.
928
01:07:36,427 --> 01:07:40,640
With no family, Baby Black
was brought to Jajja
929
01:07:41,849 --> 01:07:44,811
A baby?! Why the
hell is this my problem?
930
01:07:48,147 --> 01:07:52,610
When I learned my own
grandfather wanted to evict the slum.
931
01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:57,115
I knew I had to do something.
932
01:07:58,575 --> 01:08:03,288
Most of all, I wanted him to know
933
01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:11,588
that the poor can't help being poor,
and no one can chose whom they love.
934
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:22,640
If my mother were alive,
she'd tell you how unfair life can be.
935
01:08:23,558 --> 01:08:24,934
I'm right here.
936
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,103
What da hell?
937
01:08:33,192 --> 01:08:34,193
Flavia?
938
01:08:34,861 --> 01:08:35,945
How've you been?
939
01:08:37,989 --> 01:08:39,198
That's Flavia?
940
01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:41,242
That's her Mother?
941
01:08:42,201 --> 01:08:43,661
She's alive???
942
01:08:45,413 --> 01:08:46,831
I'm so confused
943
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:50,209
and I'm Ugandan!
944
01:10:25,263 --> 01:10:27,974
Now, you know all about Love
945
01:10:28,808 --> 01:10:30,351
in Uganda
946
01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:44,699
Back to Muzungu Muganda, Alan Ssali
947
01:10:47,785 --> 01:10:51,414
You look beautiful, however
not quite the nurse yet.
948
01:10:51,748 --> 01:10:52,874
Put that on.
949
01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:56,878
Now, she wants 2 be a Doctor
950
01:10:57,336 --> 01:10:59,172
and helping children
951
01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:19,484
Hirigi's wife!
952
01:11:19,776 --> 01:11:21,611
My family destroyed
by my own granddaughter.
953
01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:22,987
Revenge!
954
01:11:23,654 --> 01:11:24,739
Look ooooout!
955
01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:34,373
What da hell?
956
01:11:46,969 --> 01:11:49,138
Muzungu really did die
957
01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:53,184
I liked him
958
01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:59,649
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