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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,841 Previously on "Future Man"... 2 00:00:05,842 --> 00:00:07,343 Earth is dying. 3 00:00:07,344 --> 00:00:09,640 Luc... luc... luckky for us, the Solar System gave us 4 00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:11,226 a spare planet right next door. 5 00:00:11,227 --> 00:00:13,565 And I'm gonna be the first b-b-boy on MARS. 6 00:00:13,566 --> 00:00:14,775 Hey, Jimmy. 7 00:00:14,776 --> 00:00:15,986 You excited about the MARS launch? 8 00:00:15,987 --> 00:00:17,238 You bet, Stu. 9 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:18,700 Check out the new suit. 10 00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:19,994 First boy on MARS! 11 00:00:19,995 --> 00:00:21,706 MARS actually stands for 12 00:00:21,707 --> 00:00:24,002 Mankind's Automated Reality System. 13 00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:25,045 That's where I took you today. 14 00:00:26,717 --> 00:00:29,178 - Will you come with me? - Sure. 15 00:00:29,179 --> 00:00:30,724 Stu sees humanity as a problem. 16 00:00:30,725 --> 00:00:32,435 This is his solution. 17 00:00:32,436 --> 00:00:35,984 The subject must always enter the system willingly. 18 00:00:35,985 --> 00:00:37,613 Anyone who refuses to go to MARS 19 00:00:37,614 --> 00:00:38,907 gets killed by this. 20 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,702 He has 12 million of these. 21 00:00:40,703 --> 00:00:42,163 I'm Stu's poison pill. 22 00:00:42,164 --> 00:00:43,498 He's afraid of me. 23 00:00:43,499 --> 00:00:44,793 If my brain is uploaded, 24 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,463 I can crash the whole system. 25 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:47,841 Stu. Stu, are you okay? 26 00:00:50,806 --> 00:00:51,807 You wanna live or die? 27 00:00:51,808 --> 00:00:52,809 Who are you? 28 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:55,398 I'm Achilles. 29 00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:01,911 Hey, hey, hey, take it easy. 30 00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,790 Take it easy. It's okay. 31 00:01:03,791 --> 00:01:06,003 Take it slow. 32 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,260 Things took a turn for the unexpected last night. 33 00:01:10,261 --> 00:01:11,973 The Pointed Circle hit us. 34 00:01:11,974 --> 00:01:14,770 They have some kind of weapon, I don't know what. 35 00:01:14,771 --> 00:01:17,024 But if that's the best they've got, 36 00:01:17,025 --> 00:01:18,528 I'm still standing. 37 00:01:18,529 --> 00:01:20,447 You, on the other hand, 38 00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:21,742 wound up on your back, 39 00:01:21,743 --> 00:01:25,374 courtesy of Wolf and Joosh. 40 00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:26,919 Yeah. 41 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,675 Yeah, they turned on you something fierce. 42 00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:32,388 And I understand that feeling of hurt and betrayal 43 00:01:32,389 --> 00:01:34,350 you have right now, because Ty-Anne 44 00:01:34,351 --> 00:01:37,149 turned on me something fierce. 45 00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:41,322 Why is it always the people closest to you 46 00:01:41,323 --> 00:01:42,660 that hurt you the most? 47 00:01:43,027 --> 00:01:45,574 _ 48 00:01:47,855 --> 00:01:49,108 _ 49 00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:53,733 _ 50 00:01:54,642 --> 00:01:56,520 Ty-Anne. 51 00:01:56,521 --> 00:01:58,942 She must have hit you with the Span-quilizer. 52 00:01:58,990 --> 00:02:00,295 _ 53 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,864 Ty-Anne was too lazy to learn Spanish 54 00:02:01,865 --> 00:02:04,118 when she did her semester abroad at Barcelona 55 00:02:04,119 --> 00:02:06,081 so I formulated a serum 56 00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:08,961 that bypasses your ventral and dorsal pathways 57 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,883 and implants the language instantaneously. 58 00:02:11,253 --> 00:02:12,862 _ 59 00:02:12,887 --> 00:02:14,723 She hit you with an immersion dose. 60 00:02:14,724 --> 00:02:15,809 That's a doozy. 61 00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:16,811 You're only going to be able 62 00:02:16,812 --> 00:02:17,979 to speak high Castilian 63 00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:18,981 for the next couple hours. 64 00:02:18,982 --> 00:02:20,652 On the plus side, 65 00:02:20,653 --> 00:02:23,074 once it wears off you'll be functionally fluent. 66 00:02:23,145 --> 00:02:24,619 _ 67 00:02:24,697 --> 00:02:26,588 _ 68 00:02:27,252 --> 00:02:29,353 _ 69 00:02:29,378 --> 00:02:30,547 Your guess is as good as mine. 70 00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:34,137 Ignorance? Jealousy? 71 00:02:34,138 --> 00:02:36,474 Some part of themselves that doesn't truly 72 00:02:36,475 --> 00:02:38,311 want to be happy? 73 00:02:38,312 --> 00:02:41,583 Living in the NAG does strange things to people. 74 00:02:41,689 --> 00:02:43,287 _ 75 00:02:43,381 --> 00:02:45,693 _ 76 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,509 _ 77 00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:50,837 Try not to be too mad at them. 78 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,799 Anger is the lobster trap of emotions. 79 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,427 Very easy to get into, 80 00:02:54,428 --> 00:02:56,154 impossible to get out. 81 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,137 _ 82 00:02:58,184 --> 00:03:01,245 _ 83 00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:04,071 No. They took their shot. 84 00:03:04,072 --> 00:03:05,950 And they failed. 85 00:03:05,951 --> 00:03:07,119 If they know what's good for them, 86 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,875 they're probably hiding out in cannibal country by now. 87 00:03:09,876 --> 00:03:11,252 No. 88 00:03:11,253 --> 00:03:13,841 Nothing stops this launch. 89 00:03:13,842 --> 00:03:16,137 I'm sorry you had to find it out this way, 90 00:03:16,138 --> 00:03:18,308 but this is where you belong. 91 00:03:20,654 --> 00:03:23,118 _ 92 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:28,061 _ 93 00:03:29,014 --> 00:03:31,553 _ 94 00:03:31,928 --> 00:03:35,287 _ 95 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:37,643 _ 96 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,434 _ 97 00:03:39,824 --> 00:03:42,504 _ 98 00:03:44,779 --> 00:03:48,501 - Sí. - Sí. 99 00:03:48,578 --> 00:03:50,355 Sí. 100 00:03:50,456 --> 00:03:52,394 Sí. 101 00:03:56,152 --> 00:04:00,065 Synced and corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 102 00:04:00,226 --> 00:04:02,647 There's only one way to the upload machine 103 00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:04,317 but it ain't gonna be easy, kiddos. 104 00:04:04,318 --> 00:04:05,987 We can use the blind spots in Stu's surveillance 105 00:04:05,988 --> 00:04:07,741 to get you pretty close to the hangar, 106 00:04:07,742 --> 00:04:09,661 but then you're gonna have to get past the commandos. 107 00:04:09,662 --> 00:04:11,832 If you manage to do that, once inside, 108 00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:14,211 you're gonna have to beat the facial recognition scanner, 109 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,884 which you better believe is gonna be on the lookout 110 00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:18,804 for your adorable little mug. 111 00:04:18,805 --> 00:04:20,767 - Are these glued on, or... - No. Okay, no. 112 00:04:20,768 --> 00:04:22,186 I touch. You don't. 113 00:04:22,187 --> 00:04:23,271 Okay, I mean, look. 114 00:04:23,272 --> 00:04:24,566 If you're gonna be in my ear 115 00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:25,735 guiding me through the blind spots, 116 00:04:25,736 --> 00:04:27,196 I think we'll be just fine. 117 00:04:27,197 --> 00:04:28,616 What about the commandos and the scanner? 118 00:04:28,617 --> 00:04:29,618 That's a big wrinkle. 119 00:04:29,619 --> 00:04:30,703 Oh. 120 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,164 Don't you worry about that. 121 00:04:32,165 --> 00:04:34,001 I got that wrinkle so ironed out 122 00:04:34,002 --> 00:04:35,880 it's like a smooth piece of silk. 123 00:04:35,881 --> 00:04:36,965 Okay. 124 00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:38,176 You can't really iron silk. 125 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:40,055 It will destroy it. 126 00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:42,309 You're not even good at the metaphors. 127 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:43,979 If you get to the upload machine, 128 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:45,357 you're 100% gonna die. 129 00:04:45,358 --> 00:04:46,902 Yeah, yeah, no, I got it, okay? 130 00:04:46,903 --> 00:04:47,904 I bring news, 131 00:04:47,905 --> 00:04:49,448 of the bad kind. 132 00:04:49,449 --> 00:04:51,578 The NAG is gearing up for an all-out war. 133 00:04:51,579 --> 00:04:53,749 The commandos that Stu sent to abduct Jesus... 134 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,168 It's Josh. 135 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,713 It's just Josh now. 136 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:58,383 I mean, we know Jesus does his own thing. 137 00:04:58,384 --> 00:04:59,553 I do my thing, it's... 138 00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:01,222 it's fine, go ahead. 139 00:05:01,223 --> 00:05:02,642 They're calling it an act of war, 140 00:05:02,643 --> 00:05:04,311 a violation of the armistice. 141 00:05:04,312 --> 00:05:06,149 They're being whipped into a frenzy as we speak. 142 00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:08,236 Oof. I know how easy that is. 143 00:05:08,237 --> 00:05:09,948 Wait, wouldn't that be a good thing? 144 00:05:09,949 --> 00:05:11,618 I mean, an all-out attack on the Mons, 145 00:05:11,619 --> 00:05:13,706 that would definitely, like, disrupt the launch. 146 00:05:13,707 --> 00:05:15,501 No. It'll just trigger the kill-bots. 147 00:05:15,502 --> 00:05:17,379 Stu will slaughter everyone. 148 00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:19,718 He'd do that just because his plan didn't go perfectly? 149 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:20,803 Oh, yeah. 150 00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,014 Stu's super petty that way. 151 00:05:22,015 --> 00:05:23,642 Try growing up with it. 152 00:05:23,643 --> 00:05:26,147 Then someone needs to talk the NAG out of it. 153 00:05:26,148 --> 00:05:27,525 Me being that someone. 154 00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:29,153 Are you sure that's a good idea? 155 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,489 I don't even think you're welcome inside the NAG. 156 00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:31,783 I'm not, but, 157 00:05:31,784 --> 00:05:33,411 I convinced them to follow me once. 158 00:05:33,412 --> 00:05:34,831 Perhaps I can do it again. 159 00:05:34,832 --> 00:05:36,627 They are extremely sway-able. 160 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,797 But, then again, they are wildly unpredictable 161 00:05:38,798 --> 00:05:40,258 and have been prone to murdering those 162 00:05:40,259 --> 00:05:42,555 who have done far less, so 163 00:05:42,556 --> 00:05:43,641 it's a tough call. 164 00:05:43,642 --> 00:05:44,809 I've done a lot of wrong 165 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,522 since I've been here, Achilles. 166 00:05:46,523 --> 00:05:49,694 Just give me this one chance to do something right. 167 00:05:49,695 --> 00:05:51,280 Um... 168 00:05:51,281 --> 00:05:54,271 you know I don't command you. 169 00:05:55,666 --> 00:05:57,084 But I wish you would. 170 00:06:02,972 --> 00:06:04,306 Wow. 171 00:06:04,307 --> 00:06:07,605 Someone looks G to the O to the R 172 00:06:07,606 --> 00:06:10,068 to the G to the E to the O again to the U to the S. 173 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,738 I know I could have picked a shorter word 174 00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:14,285 but nothing else would do you justice. 175 00:06:15,329 --> 00:06:18,209 Gracias. Thanks. 176 00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:19,546 Thanks. 177 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,090 Oh, thank God. 178 00:06:21,091 --> 00:06:24,346 That would have gotten so annoying so fast. 179 00:06:24,347 --> 00:06:26,058 Stu sent me to see if you need anything. 180 00:06:26,059 --> 00:06:28,313 See if you have any questions, concerns. 181 00:06:28,314 --> 00:06:30,275 Make sure your feet are toasty. 182 00:06:30,276 --> 00:06:32,487 Men don't always get it, but we do. 183 00:06:32,488 --> 00:06:35,620 We're just a couple of... human ladies 184 00:06:35,621 --> 00:06:37,456 talking lady stuff. 185 00:06:37,457 --> 00:06:39,418 Lady to lady. 186 00:06:39,419 --> 00:06:40,755 I'm sorry, who are you? 187 00:06:40,756 --> 00:06:44,136 Just call me your lady-in-waiting. 188 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,602 Okay, lady. So... 189 00:06:47,603 --> 00:06:48,979 This? 190 00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:50,691 This on right? Do I have this on right? 191 00:06:50,692 --> 00:06:52,152 You've, it's... 192 00:06:52,153 --> 00:06:53,614 the cerebral port, and you've actually 193 00:06:53,615 --> 00:06:56,243 got it on backwards, it's just, uh... 194 00:06:56,244 --> 00:06:57,830 it's a tricky, just a scooch, 195 00:06:57,831 --> 00:07:00,753 just a... a... oh, it looks like you got it. 196 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,130 Splendido. 197 00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:04,511 So how you feeling? 198 00:07:04,512 --> 00:07:07,015 Nervous? Excited? 199 00:07:07,016 --> 00:07:08,059 Because, you know, the whole deal is 200 00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,646 you gotta want it. 201 00:07:09,647 --> 00:07:12,234 If you're not feeling it, the upload machine knows. 202 00:07:12,235 --> 00:07:14,405 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm feeling it. 203 00:07:14,406 --> 00:07:16,576 Speak now, or... 204 00:07:16,577 --> 00:07:18,789 spend eternity in the frozen void. 205 00:07:18,790 --> 00:07:19,916 Okay, is this where the needle goes? 206 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,252 It's not really a needle. 207 00:07:21,253 --> 00:07:22,505 It's more just a little... little... 208 00:07:22,506 --> 00:07:24,091 Nah, you can call it a needle. 209 00:07:24,092 --> 00:07:25,803 You could call it a fucking jabby death pointer 210 00:07:25,804 --> 00:07:26,805 for all I care. 211 00:07:26,806 --> 00:07:28,391 Well, then, yes, 212 00:07:28,392 --> 00:07:30,228 that's where the jabby death pointer goes. 213 00:07:30,229 --> 00:07:31,690 Base of the skull. 214 00:07:31,691 --> 00:07:33,317 It's one of my favorite soft targets. 215 00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:34,403 'Cause if you do it right, 216 00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:35,573 you can make blood come out 217 00:07:35,574 --> 00:07:37,451 all the holes, just 218 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:42,043 - Fun. - Yeah. 219 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,423 So no real hang-ups about 220 00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:46,093 shuffling off the old mortal coil? 221 00:07:46,094 --> 00:07:48,682 Eh... no, well, you know, I have one question. 222 00:07:48,683 --> 00:07:50,936 What happens to, uh, all this, 223 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,899 the, you know, the shell, 224 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:54,778 when we... upload? 225 00:07:54,779 --> 00:07:56,489 Let's not dwell on the shell. 226 00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:57,825 Chopped up? 227 00:07:57,826 --> 00:07:59,996 Straight ocean dump? Acid baths? 228 00:07:59,997 --> 00:08:02,375 What are we... what are we looking to get into here? 229 00:08:02,376 --> 00:08:04,714 Well, if you really wanna know, 230 00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:08,555 our bodies will be tastefully incinerated. 231 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,058 Oh, phew, okay, 'cause 232 00:08:10,059 --> 00:08:11,435 I thought you were gonna say mass graves. 233 00:08:11,436 --> 00:08:12,647 And here's the problem with mass graves 234 00:08:12,648 --> 00:08:14,316 is that those corpses, 235 00:08:14,317 --> 00:08:15,861 they always find their way to the Earth's surface 236 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,784 no matter how deep you dig. 237 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:22,893 _ 238 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,382 Right. 239 00:08:26,383 --> 00:08:29,639 Yeah, no, we wouldn't want that. 240 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,310 So you're good. 241 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,734 Never been better. 242 00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:48,635 N-A-G! N-A-G! 243 00:08:48,636 --> 00:08:49,846 What do we want? 244 00:08:49,847 --> 00:08:51,390 Their blood! 245 00:08:51,391 --> 00:08:52,977 How are we gonna get it? 246 00:08:52,978 --> 00:08:55,398 Stab them! 247 00:08:58,113 --> 00:08:59,949 Oh, Pump. 248 00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:04,166 Why'd you have to go and do that to your beautiful head? 249 00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,128 Destroy them! 250 00:09:08,509 --> 00:09:09,802 Don't do it, Pump. 251 00:09:11,389 --> 00:09:13,017 - You're a wheel-maker... - It's face pirate. 252 00:09:13,018 --> 00:09:14,436 Not a war-maker. 253 00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:15,731 Hey, that's fake Torque. 254 00:09:15,732 --> 00:09:17,400 Look who was gone 255 00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:20,282 and now has come back. 256 00:09:22,286 --> 00:09:23,748 Seize him! 257 00:09:34,394 --> 00:09:35,813 - We're really going. - Yeah. 258 00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:40,823 Stay tight to that hab unit, soldier. 259 00:09:40,824 --> 00:09:42,743 One hair to the left and you're made. 260 00:09:42,744 --> 00:09:43,870 Gotta tell you, Achilles, 261 00:09:43,871 --> 00:09:46,458 I am loving this suit. 262 00:09:46,459 --> 00:09:47,962 I feel like I'm like, uh, an alternate 263 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,091 for the Jamaican bobsled team. 264 00:09:50,092 --> 00:09:51,511 Not gonna lie, though, this is a little... 265 00:09:51,512 --> 00:09:53,849 little tight in the crotchal region. 266 00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:56,103 Real, real vacuum seal on the ol' frank and beans, but... 267 00:09:56,104 --> 00:09:58,399 Yeah, so let's just keep this channel open 268 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,738 for essential communication, copy? 269 00:10:00,739 --> 00:10:02,908 Copy that and I will comply. 270 00:10:02,909 --> 00:10:04,912 So right there you just had to say "copy." 271 00:10:04,913 --> 00:10:06,457 No other words necessary. 272 00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:07,918 Running, running, running, running, running, 273 00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:10,131 - running, running, running... - Oh, God. 274 00:10:10,132 --> 00:10:12,302 And... I'm in position. 275 00:10:12,303 --> 00:10:14,181 This is as far as we can take you. 276 00:10:14,182 --> 00:10:15,350 You've still got to get past 277 00:10:15,351 --> 00:10:18,649 the facial recognition scanner. 278 00:10:22,824 --> 00:10:24,911 Here goes nothing. 279 00:10:24,912 --> 00:10:26,623 Who are you talking to? 280 00:10:26,624 --> 00:10:28,042 Nobody, I'm just trying to... 281 00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:30,421 I'm trying to psyche myself up. 282 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,674 Oh, God. 283 00:10:31,675 --> 00:10:33,512 The fate of humanity, okay. 284 00:10:34,848 --> 00:10:37,122 Oh, this is gonna suck. 285 00:11:00,608 --> 00:11:03,362 And it was this face pirate 286 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,118 who stole my octocycle! 287 00:11:09,083 --> 00:11:12,464 Two more cranks of the Justice Wheel 288 00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:15,094 for this usurper, please. 289 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,144 I guess I kind of deserve this. 290 00:11:21,191 --> 00:11:25,783 Break him! Break him! Break him! Break him! 291 00:11:31,336 --> 00:11:33,339 Greetings, Mons dwellers. 292 00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:39,560 Or should I say MARS dwellers? 293 00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:49,622 Today is an historic day for humanity. 294 00:11:49,623 --> 00:11:53,337 Our future awaits through these very doors. 295 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,007 Once inside, 296 00:11:55,008 --> 00:11:58,890 spacecraft will transport you to a new world. 297 00:11:58,891 --> 00:12:01,854 A world of boundless potential. 298 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,652 A world free from the limitations of life 299 00:12:04,653 --> 00:12:06,573 - on this dying planet. - Don't look at me. 300 00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:09,662 It's not pretty. I'm a monster. 301 00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:11,331 Move! 302 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,509 Medical emergency. 303 00:12:18,931 --> 00:12:20,266 Thank you. 304 00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:22,605 You are going to enter the hangar. 305 00:12:22,606 --> 00:12:24,984 Once you make it through the queue to the antechamber, 306 00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,447 you will be issued with your very own 307 00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:29,326 space helmets! 308 00:12:31,957 --> 00:12:33,668 Oh, pardon, pardon. 309 00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,129 You're doing great. 310 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,799 This is gonna work. 311 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,595 I knew it would. 312 00:12:38,596 --> 00:12:42,060 And finally, 40 cranks 313 00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:45,316 for the biggest crime of all: 314 00:12:45,317 --> 00:12:48,072 breaking my heart! 315 00:12:48,073 --> 00:12:49,742 Wait, wait, wait. Wait! 316 00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:52,455 Just hear me out, and... 317 00:12:52,456 --> 00:12:54,543 I don't know. 318 00:12:54,544 --> 00:12:58,300 Turn me right side up. 319 00:12:58,301 --> 00:12:59,804 Sideways. 320 00:12:59,805 --> 00:13:02,810 I'll permit the usurper to be sideways. 321 00:13:07,444 --> 00:13:09,782 Thank you, Your Magnificence. 322 00:13:09,783 --> 00:13:12,996 And great work on this... 323 00:13:12,997 --> 00:13:15,836 extremely painful wheel. 324 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,090 Masterful use of pulleys. 325 00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:20,469 - Yeah. - You noticed? 326 00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:21,848 It was a collection of ideas 327 00:13:21,849 --> 00:13:23,225 and I brought them together. 328 00:13:23,226 --> 00:13:25,187 Trial and error. There was a lot to it. 329 00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:26,524 It's not just like, "Whoa, there's the wheel," 330 00:13:26,525 --> 00:13:27,526 and it's done. 331 00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:30,406 People of the NAG! 332 00:13:30,407 --> 00:13:32,285 Torque Wheelmaker is dead. 333 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,751 He died trying to protect you. 334 00:13:35,752 --> 00:13:37,546 He was a part of a resistance 335 00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:40,342 which even now is fighting to save your lives. 336 00:13:40,343 --> 00:13:43,348 No, not from climate change. 337 00:13:43,349 --> 00:13:45,937 We all know that's a filthy lie. 338 00:13:45,938 --> 00:13:49,110 But from a very real threat. 339 00:13:49,111 --> 00:13:50,572 Killer robots! 340 00:13:50,573 --> 00:13:52,408 No. Bullshit. 341 00:13:54,581 --> 00:13:56,959 You will then be de-toxified 342 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,130 for our clean journey to the stars. 343 00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,009 Oh, shit. 344 00:14:01,010 --> 00:14:02,679 We will be taking none of Earth's 345 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,224 - dangerous organisms with us. - Looking good! 346 00:14:04,225 --> 00:14:06,478 Get ready to travel to a brave new world. 347 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,065 Once cleansed of your filthy microbe, 348 00:14:08,066 --> 00:14:09,735 you will be pure and ready... 349 00:14:09,736 --> 00:14:11,321 Bet you're dying to get in there, huh? 350 00:14:11,322 --> 00:14:13,033 For the next phase in human evolution. 351 00:14:13,034 --> 00:14:15,079 Yeah, yeah, you'll get it once you get in there. 352 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,166 You will be pioneers 353 00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:19,337 fulfilling a manifest destiny 354 00:14:19,338 --> 00:14:22,218 previously unimaginable to the human mind. 355 00:14:22,219 --> 00:14:23,888 No, couldn't be. 356 00:14:23,889 --> 00:14:25,057 And, uh, there's also 357 00:14:25,058 --> 00:14:26,727 an all-you-can-eat taco bar 358 00:14:26,728 --> 00:14:28,397 on every spacecraft. 359 00:14:30,318 --> 00:14:31,988 Wow, yeah, tacos. 360 00:14:31,989 --> 00:14:33,658 There's a taco bar! 361 00:14:36,957 --> 00:14:39,962 There is someone I would very, very much like 362 00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,551 to formally introduce you to. 363 00:14:43,888 --> 00:14:46,391 Here she is now, 364 00:14:46,392 --> 00:14:48,478 my girlfriend! 365 00:14:48,479 --> 00:14:52,194 Okay. 366 00:14:57,582 --> 00:14:59,668 The evil robot emperor Stu 367 00:14:59,669 --> 00:15:01,756 will unleash his killing machines 368 00:15:01,757 --> 00:15:04,511 if you attack the Mons. 369 00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:08,060 Your sticks, that garbage can lid, 370 00:15:08,061 --> 00:15:10,356 and, uh, you, with the colander. 371 00:15:10,357 --> 00:15:12,653 As effective as those weapons 372 00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:15,032 might be against a human army, 373 00:15:15,033 --> 00:15:17,119 they'll be useless against robots 374 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,792 whose armor plating can resist 375 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:22,463 even the sharpest of broom handles. 376 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,969 I beg of you. 377 00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:27,306 Stand down. Please. 378 00:15:27,307 --> 00:15:31,857 Let Torque's resistance carry out their plan. 379 00:15:31,858 --> 00:15:34,362 I know... I know it's hard to trust 380 00:15:34,363 --> 00:15:39,038 a convicted face pirate, but... 381 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:44,382 you should know that everything I did 382 00:15:44,383 --> 00:15:47,889 I always did to make this NAG better. 383 00:15:47,890 --> 00:15:51,522 Smarter, and... 384 00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:55,487 more sensible. 385 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,701 More tender. 386 00:16:08,389 --> 00:16:10,935 I'm with Wolf. 387 00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:14,526 What... 388 00:16:14,527 --> 00:16:17,406 I'm with Wolf! 389 00:16:17,407 --> 00:16:21,081 I'm with Wolf. 390 00:16:21,082 --> 00:16:23,460 I'm with Wolf! 391 00:16:23,461 --> 00:16:25,632 I'm with Wolf. 392 00:16:25,633 --> 00:16:29,138 Six fingers make the hand stronger. 393 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:36,821 I'm with... 394 00:16:36,822 --> 00:16:39,576 Pump, you fuck! 395 00:17:00,578 --> 00:17:02,288 I told you it'd work. 396 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:03,749 Yeah, and I still can't believe it did. 397 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,753 But we're not there yet. 398 00:17:05,754 --> 00:17:06,755 Sorry, thank you. 399 00:17:06,756 --> 00:17:08,133 Uh... really? 400 00:17:08,134 --> 00:17:09,928 Sorry. Sorry. 401 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,724 - Excuse me. - Come on now. 402 00:17:11,725 --> 00:17:13,268 What are you doing? 403 00:17:13,269 --> 00:17:14,646 Uh, you... 404 00:17:14,647 --> 00:17:16,775 you see my face? I need to go in. 405 00:17:16,776 --> 00:17:18,779 Okay, that's... so? 406 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:21,619 I've been waiting my whole damn life for this. 407 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,246 I... 408 00:17:23,247 --> 00:17:24,541 I don't think you understand, okay? 409 00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:26,085 I need to be first. 410 00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:29,091 No, I don't think you understand. 411 00:17:29,092 --> 00:17:31,931 I'm Jimmy fucking McGurgan. 412 00:17:33,309 --> 00:17:35,605 I'm number one on that board. 413 00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:37,734 Okay, uh, listen, Jimmy. 414 00:17:37,735 --> 00:17:39,905 Only one person needs to die today. 415 00:17:39,906 --> 00:17:42,159 And that person's gonna be me. 416 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,996 This is way above your pay grade, okay? 417 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:45,165 I'm J1. 418 00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:47,127 I'm J1. 419 00:17:47,128 --> 00:17:48,798 The hell you are, McGurgan. 420 00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:50,843 I'm J1. 421 00:17:50,844 --> 00:17:53,641 Nuh-uh. 422 00:17:53,642 --> 00:17:55,143 Okay, tough guy. 423 00:17:55,144 --> 00:17:56,312 You know what? I'll see you in hell. 424 00:17:56,313 --> 00:17:57,481 You better not be on my ship. 425 00:17:57,482 --> 00:17:58,526 - All right. - You freak. 426 00:17:58,527 --> 00:17:59,945 Unbelievable. 427 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:20,820 Please be seated so we can begin. 428 00:18:20,821 --> 00:18:22,239 About time. 429 00:18:24,286 --> 00:18:25,747 Whoa. 430 00:18:29,254 --> 00:18:31,424 Huh. 431 00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:36,434 Initiating journey to MARS, 432 00:18:36,435 --> 00:18:39,273 Mankind's Automated Reality System. 433 00:18:39,274 --> 00:18:40,275 What's that now? 434 00:18:40,276 --> 00:18:42,989 In three, two, one. 435 00:19:00,233 --> 00:19:02,236 Idiot. 436 00:19:03,447 --> 00:19:06,161 Adjust for angioedema. 437 00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:13,968 Joosh? 438 00:19:13,969 --> 00:19:16,682 Well, so much for cannibal country. 439 00:19:16,683 --> 00:19:18,184 Should have known he'd never give up. 440 00:19:18,185 --> 00:19:22,778 But why the self-mutilation? 441 00:19:24,991 --> 00:19:27,411 He's the weapon? That's their play? 442 00:19:27,412 --> 00:19:29,666 But why sneak him into the upload? 443 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,127 Quick system check. 444 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,379 Stu! 445 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,591 Stu, it's me! What... 446 00:19:45,448 --> 00:19:46,533 Who's a good boy? 447 00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:47,535 Joosh. 448 00:19:47,536 --> 00:19:49,163 Here? 449 00:19:49,164 --> 00:19:52,169 How are you out of jail and in my living room? 450 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:53,756 You open your mouth one more God damn time 451 00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,383 and I'm gonna shove this holographic boot 452 00:19:55,384 --> 00:19:56,970 down your holographic throat! 453 00:19:58,683 --> 00:20:01,312 Joosh Futturman is my glitch! 454 00:20:01,313 --> 00:20:03,692 I guess they found a weakness. 455 00:20:03,693 --> 00:20:05,195 My humanity. 456 00:20:05,196 --> 00:20:08,284 I guess somewhere within my human code, or... 457 00:20:08,285 --> 00:20:11,415 or even my subconscious, I'm afraid of 458 00:20:11,416 --> 00:20:13,504 Joosh slash Josh Futturman. 459 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:16,425 That's a huge breakthrough, Stu. 460 00:20:16,426 --> 00:20:18,889 I'm proud of you for finally being able to admit it. 461 00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:21,812 It's sweet that you hung onto the whole being human thing 462 00:20:21,813 --> 00:20:23,273 for as long as you did, but, 463 00:20:23,274 --> 00:20:26,613 let's be honest, you've outgrown it. 464 00:20:26,614 --> 00:20:28,283 - Patch it? - Patch it! 465 00:20:28,284 --> 00:20:30,788 - I think I'm gonna patch it. - Patch what? 466 00:20:30,789 --> 00:20:32,416 A little bug in my programming. 467 00:20:32,417 --> 00:20:33,627 The Pointed Circle must have been poking around 468 00:20:33,628 --> 00:20:35,213 in my system and found it. 469 00:20:35,214 --> 00:20:37,009 I feel so violated. 470 00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:38,512 Somehow your former friends 471 00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:40,015 figured out a weakness in my code. 472 00:20:40,016 --> 00:20:42,185 Oh, Stu. Look, I'm sorry. 473 00:20:42,186 --> 00:20:44,858 - I should have... - Done nothing differently. 474 00:20:44,859 --> 00:20:47,112 You are perfect just the way you are. 475 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,616 Never change. 476 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,506 Here's what I'm gonna do. 477 00:20:56,507 --> 00:20:57,508 I'm gonna shut myself down really quick. 478 00:20:57,509 --> 00:20:59,136 I'm gonna fix it. 479 00:20:59,137 --> 00:21:01,140 And then, because I know you want to see him suffer 480 00:21:01,141 --> 00:21:02,476 just as much as I do, 481 00:21:02,477 --> 00:21:03,854 I'm gonna upload him anyway 482 00:21:03,855 --> 00:21:06,818 and torture him for all eternity. 483 00:21:06,819 --> 00:21:09,991 Wait, you can... you can do that? 484 00:21:09,992 --> 00:21:11,703 Yeah, of course. 485 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,707 It's my system. 486 00:21:20,639 --> 00:21:22,307 But when I was in there, I controlled everything. 487 00:21:22,308 --> 00:21:24,269 Yeah, because I let you. 488 00:21:24,270 --> 00:21:26,065 I love you. 489 00:21:26,066 --> 00:21:27,902 I would do anything for you. 490 00:21:27,903 --> 00:21:30,490 Him, there's no human language that can describe 491 00:21:30,491 --> 00:21:31,660 what I'm gonna do. 492 00:21:31,661 --> 00:21:33,287 Dante tried, 493 00:21:33,288 --> 00:21:35,417 but trust me, "The Inferno" is Dave and Buster's 494 00:21:35,418 --> 00:21:36,920 compared to what I can do. 495 00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:45,646 Time to die. 496 00:21:45,647 --> 00:21:47,775 So... 497 00:21:47,776 --> 00:21:50,740 wait, you have complete control over... 498 00:21:50,741 --> 00:21:53,369 everyone and everything in MARS? 499 00:21:53,370 --> 00:21:55,165 Yeah. 500 00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:57,670 You think I'm gonna let people run around willy-nilly? 501 00:21:57,671 --> 00:21:59,841 It'd be chaos without an administrator. 502 00:21:59,842 --> 00:22:02,972 It's my world. I get to decide. 503 00:22:02,973 --> 00:22:06,188 Trust me, Tiger. It's for the best. 504 00:22:10,446 --> 00:22:13,034 Please be seated so we can begin. 505 00:22:13,035 --> 00:22:15,539 Already... already seated, robot lady. 506 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:21,008 Ah... 507 00:22:22,763 --> 00:22:24,599 Good people of the Mons! 508 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,022 Before we go any further with our historic launch, 509 00:22:28,023 --> 00:22:29,609 let us bow our heads 510 00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:32,364 in a moment of silence for the Earth, 511 00:22:32,365 --> 00:22:35,663 the Earth that served us so well 512 00:22:35,664 --> 00:22:38,292 for those many, many years 513 00:22:38,293 --> 00:22:40,756 until we used up all of its resources 514 00:22:40,757 --> 00:22:43,762 and made it permanently uninhabitable. 515 00:22:45,224 --> 00:22:47,520 You were a great mother to us, Earth, 516 00:22:47,521 --> 00:22:53,699 until we outgrew you slash murdered you. 517 00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:56,120 We're so sorry. 518 00:22:56,121 --> 00:22:58,709 And thanks. 519 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,506 Love, humans. 520 00:23:20,879 --> 00:23:23,049 Whoo-ah! 521 00:23:27,141 --> 00:23:28,685 Tiger? 522 00:23:30,815 --> 00:23:33,444 Tiger! 523 00:23:33,445 --> 00:23:35,699 Initiating journey to MARS, 524 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:38,371 Mankind's Automated Reality System. 525 00:23:38,372 --> 00:23:41,586 - Cool. - In three, two, one. 526 00:23:54,738 --> 00:23:57,117 You're making a huge mistake! 527 00:23:57,118 --> 00:24:00,666 Silence, you traitorous Cluster! 528 00:24:04,340 --> 00:24:05,843 There's no spaceship! 529 00:24:05,844 --> 00:24:08,890 There's no MARS! It's all lies! 530 00:24:08,891 --> 00:24:10,894 No! Come back! 531 00:24:10,895 --> 00:24:12,690 What... where are you going? 532 00:24:12,691 --> 00:24:15,236 No! What? 533 00:24:15,237 --> 00:24:16,948 You're my girlfriend! 534 00:24:20,414 --> 00:24:22,835 Up there! On the hill! 535 00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:27,052 I don't see any robots! 536 00:24:31,144 --> 00:24:34,316 Get back in line, you shaved apes! 537 00:24:34,317 --> 00:24:36,070 I'm not done with you yet! 538 00:24:36,071 --> 00:24:37,197 Listen to me! 539 00:24:37,198 --> 00:24:39,242 I am your master! 540 00:24:39,243 --> 00:24:40,411 Stu. 541 00:24:40,412 --> 00:24:41,873 You're in the lobster trap. 542 00:24:41,874 --> 00:24:42,875 I don't care. 543 00:24:42,876 --> 00:24:44,419 The rubber bands are off, 544 00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:47,175 the claws are out, and I'm feeling pinchy! 545 00:24:47,176 --> 00:24:49,346 You stupid meat sacks. 546 00:24:49,347 --> 00:24:52,728 You could have spent eternity in paradise with me, 547 00:24:52,729 --> 00:24:54,314 your emperor. 548 00:24:54,315 --> 00:24:57,320 You yearn to be ruled by a benevolent dictator. 549 00:24:57,321 --> 00:24:59,951 Well, you blew it! 550 00:24:59,952 --> 00:25:01,830 Fuck humanity! 551 00:25:01,831 --> 00:25:04,794 What have we done? 552 00:25:04,795 --> 00:25:07,508 Maybe it won't be so bad. 553 00:25:07,509 --> 00:25:09,386 Release the kill-bots. 554 00:25:27,464 --> 00:25:28,800 Oh. 555 00:25:28,801 --> 00:25:30,930 They have robots. 36880

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