Original subtitles

It seems like only yesterday the party would go on forever

but in just 12 short months,

the place known as americas spring break capital

has become a virtual ghost town

who can forget the devastating attack on lake victoria, that left scores

of people dead, and a community in shock

and who could have guessed that this hell on earth would be rocked

by a species of Piranha believed extinct for the last 2 million years

a massive eradication program has left these waters

teeming with life

silent and dead

after a massive exous that left most property abandoned

the local econemy fell into ruin

lake victoria is now a quarantine area

only weeds grow on the beaches where thousands once soaked up the sun

and the only boats that remain, are dusty relics littering the shoreline

as we look back on the anniversary of this tragic event

were left to wonder, if it happened here

can it happen again.

and if so,

where?

-

Sarah

- Sarah... hollering aint gonna do you a damn bit of good

i got my foot stuck in a rut

there she is right there

is she dead?

thats a big old cow aint it...

yeah she took second place at county last year

what the hell... theres somethin laying on her belly

shine the light on the belly see whats going on

theres something in there...

holy flying babyshit

damn piece of crap

i think i got a lighter

that smell would knock a buzzard off a dump truck

fudge, thats the gassiest damn cow i ever seen

ahh... shit shit shit

Carl

carl, get away

-

hey, its time to get wet again

comeon down. our lifeguards are hot, single, and ready to party

with someone like you

so if you wanna cool off, comeon down to the hottest hole in town

3 words for you... the big wet

and remember, double D swims free

oh boy, hold on... cut it

hey

hi

ive got to cut something off at the pass

here you go, keep them wet

and are you guys friends of someone?

Maddie...

get over here and give your step dad a hug

Chet, tell me you did not fire our old lifeguards and replace them with...

strippers

water certified strippers...

really... more than that pumpkin

unbelievable. listen, before your sweet momma died, god rest her soul

she made me promise her

to keep this waterpark running

and im just gonna make sure that

i provide for you aswell as she did

im your daddy now

were so lucky to have each other

wow ched, sometimes i really think you beleive whats comign out of your mouth

baby doll you are gonna love this...

adult pool, go ahead

we are gonna make bank on this

what do you think? i think this is a very expensive joke

worlds first strip bar at a waterpark

thats a stroke of genious, franchising baby

no no no no, oh dont worry about that

install a little extra chlorine

and sulphuric acid in the pool it sanitises everything

hey kiki

why dont you get your shapely ass out of the pool

russian..shes a doctor

now keep your eyes over there, on the flat screen T.V

i call this the cooch cam... but im open to suggestions

check it out

thats disgusting.-do not touch it - im getting rid of it

thats not your call

dont you forget that im still half owner of this place

ohh... is that right?

raise your hand if you own 51 %...

of this... waterpark

now raise your hand if you have 49 % minority on it...

thats you

hey

hey maddie

how are you... whats new?

well, this is the summer. shall we finally abstain from abstinence

shes afraid to have sex because her cousin gave birth to a flipper baby

stop it

that didnt happen

here he comes

here he comes

the boy whos going to pop her cherry

he just doesnt know it yet

hey maddie

what do you think of all the new changes around here?

Josh, meet me at the lake

alright, see yah, cool

what am i? the last guy to know your back? - hi...

how are you?... i missed you

oh me too. bet you wish you were still in grad school for the summer huh?

i cant believe what cheds done ...i know

this place is everything to me

working here... hanging out. i know

i miss those moments too

so look, now that your back...

hey you guys, are you sure thats such a good idea?

there better not be any underage drinking going on here

here you go pal

come on man

im on duty

cant be drinking

you got fireworks...

indecent exposure...

probable drugs...

definite drugs

i might just have to write you up

i dont see what he has, that i dont have...

6 inches and a badge?

i heard you were back in town, so i figured id stop by and say hey

and i feel i should say something about the last time we talked

no, you dont have to

long distance relationships... there weird

your back now

- for the summer

should be an interesting summer

i..ahh..im still on duty so...

ok - welcome back

i had fun at the party tonight. - yeah me too

i love the water

its uhh... really wet

what are you thinking about?

nothing much

hey, lets take off all our clothes and go swimming

uhh... ok cool, sure

turn around...

Shelby?

Shelby?

Shelby!

you coming in or what? yeah im coming

no funny stuff ok

you want some of this...

you want some? your not supposed to splash me back

what? ...i just felt something against me

is that you?

what are you talking about?

ow, what are you doing?

i didnt... well whatever it is, i dont like it

i didnt do anything

shelby, where are you going?

im cold im getting out

you have to do it

ok fine

dear lord

come on ok. dear lord

please forgive us for what we are about to do

we both know that having relations before marriage is

a sin, but

we know that we will be forgiven

for it because...

were praying about it

- Amen. - Amen.

you can fuck me now - amen

ohh

look at this

you like that?

mine... aha, dont make me cuff the other 1

were moving travis... i know.

no, look you idiot

Ashley, are you ok?

the waters coming in, shit

give me the key for the cuff

ugh, it must have fallen out

find it now

where is it... shit shit shit damn it

key for the damn cuff...

i should go for help

no. - i cant see anything

im sorry - Ashley!

hit the light and keep looking

im scared... what are you doing? get over here

Ashley.

im gonna get some help

get back here

what are you doing?

Ashley!

Travis!

Travis!

Travis!

theres something in the water

help...

anybody...

ashley

Ashley!

travis... come on are you there?

Travis!

Travis! Travis!

Travis!

Ashley!

oh my god

oh my...

help

please, is anybody out there anybody...

im sorry i just... no its cool

i dont mind hanging out

oh no its not you, its just that...

do you think ashleys prettier than me?

no

most guys do

yeah well i..ive never been into girl with big breasts

welcome back maddie

Dave.

yoh man, what the fuck you doing?

the hole where the water comes out...

oh god man

shes so wet...

hey shelby

have you seen ashley or travis? neither one of them punched in this morning

no, i havent seen either of them

i dont know. just a sec

you ok? i just feel a little weird

here let me help you no im fine

you ok?

look who has morning sickness

nice work papa

nobody was inside shel

im sure there fine

probably just shaken up and

scared there gonna get in trouble

comeon ash

pick up

hey... its ash leave a message shit

call me

is there anywhere else they might have gone?

no, umm

im just gonna go

Ashleys my best friend

i mean...

i know shes kind of a slut

she stole one of my ex boyfriends, and

im pretty sure she stole

a pair of ear rings my grandmother gave me before she died

but... we were like sisters

what is that?

Oh my god

we have to get off this thing right now. hurry

come on Shelby.

quick comeon ive got you

quickly

lets go, were almost there

careful

no no no

come back Shelby.

come here

come this way quick your going to have to jump

Come on you have to jump

i cant jump from here

quit it

lets go

ive got you

what is this thing

Maddie...

what the fuck is that?

oh shit

is that a fucking Piranha?

my father worked construction on carson dam

they found fossils like this

when they first broke ground he gave me this on my 8th birthday

im telling you man, it was a Piranha howd it get from lake victoria to our lake?

thats what weve got to find out

what? look at us

the cop and the marine biologist

im sorry, it just sounds like a shitty sitcom

the cop and the marine biologist

your still wet

a little yeah

will you ask coony to open the door

Kyle, open the door

yoh man

thats funny, dick

who are you?

why are you here?

im sorry, we saw you on youtube...

you and 11 million 486 other people

i have 700 more hits than the laughing diarrhea baby

we need your expertees mr goodman

why?

we think there back...

false lake isnt even connected

to lake Victoria

the piranha must be migrating through underground lakes and rivers

ive studied this specimen for

almost a year

i think you might find this interesting

can i get some help here

ok

this is galvanised steel

like ordinary household plumbing

there we go

aha, now for some incentive

no no no, not the frog

sorry they sold out of puppys this morning

now, i think this is quite resourceful, watch

now its got something to grab

its a frog

Barry, are you crazy?

you almost lost a hand

i had a pet frog once

uhh

can you give me...?

really?-now to check on some data - what were you thinking?

these Piranha spent eons

living in underground lakes

full of sulphur dioxide

from all the geo thermal activity

thats how they come back to spawn

they followed the wrong lake somehow? - yes

problem is sulphur dioxide

is probably released during the treatment of chlorinated water

so its conceivable

that the fish could become confused and try to enter man made drainage systems

especially with an abundance of backyard pools

our waterpark drains directly into false lake. thats the equivalent of like a thousand swimming pools

that would be a very bad thing

did you tell anyone that this could happen?

i tried, unfortunately i lost some credibility after my last book

that foretold plague of dreadful walking fish

oh thats right

you wrote the fish walk among us i love that book

its really great why thank you

kindred spirit

thanks

Barry.

you ah... you read a marine biology book?

i wanted to see what you were so interested in

look guys, we have to check the drains and the outflow pipe into the lake tonight

i can get a dive team up here from tempy by tomorrow

no its too late, the waterpark opens tomorrow, that place is going to be packed

if the fish are gettign through the drain system

that would make lake victoria look like an appetizer

guys weve got to get out there right now

thankyou so much for your help mr Goodman.

oh thank you

thank you sir, an honour

be well, alright

aha... 11 million 888 hits

take that laughing diarrhea baby

2 local teens, ashley sorby and travis mitchell

were reported missing this morning after there van was pulled out of cross lake

thanks for letting me stay here

its totally cool

how you feeling?

a little better

you dont seem any better

hey what is it?

just the stress of the whole ashley thing

make love to me

please...

right now?

please josh

i think something is really wrong with me

if i dont get better, i dont want to die a virgin

please josh, i want it to be with you

cum inside me

cum inside me, ill do whatever you say after that

the outflow pipe leads directly to the waterpark, ive got to check them out

you considered how bat shit crazy this is right?

i got to take a look, ill be quick

umm, look, about what i was trying to say last night...

are you coming in? cos i could really use a spotter

i mean... if your... its ok

no no no, im not scared its just

umm, cant swim

you work at a waterpark and you cant swim?

ding ding. what about all the beach partys in high school

the partys at the park... never?

oh my god barry, i totally would have taught you how to swim

yeah i know, you seemed kind of busy at the time

not a big deal.

toss me that flashlight

yes i know

thats what i said alright ill find you

are you sure you want to do this?... no

you uhh..you let her go in there alone?

fuck off Kyle!

oh yes... Barry cant swim

Maddie... - Maddie!

swim Maddie

get out of the way, get back

are you ok?

i think so

dont worry, i wont break

im sorry. its ok, its ok

its good, go on oh god shelby, look at me

-

somethings wrong

no somethings wrong - almost there

what the fuck is on my dick...

ohh... oh my god

Josh!

im feeling a little better now

Josh, Josh.

Josh.

i think i had an accident

Josh.

josh what are you doing?

oh my god

Josh.

Josh.

Josh!

Josh!

what the hell did you do to me?

ohh... you almost going 70 back there buddy

dont you have somewhere else better to be, like boning my step daughter?

ill get to that, first things first

your all good,

for now oh your looking for a raise?

with any luck, your little theme parks going to take off and i wont have

to live off a deputys salary forever so, we good here?

yeah, did you check those airflow pipes at the lake?

Maddie did. nearly got herself killed

what about the grates... they still intact?

should be good, unless theres another way into the park?

like that bootleg well you drilled - dont you worry about that

i do worry ched

im the one protecting your unlaweful ass

let me tell you something. why dont you worry about keeping maddie and johny law off my ass alright

ill take care of my waterpark

have a nice night deputy

you too ched

ohh by the way... what in the hells this?

i told you, you were speeding - are you shittin me?

just doing my job

weird crooked cop

what a night huh...

do umm...

you and kyle, you guys getting back together or...

no definetly not

i dont think so, probably not

you showed real decisiveness on that one, you know that right?

i kinda did, didnt i

Josh cut off his penis because somethig came out of my vagina

should be coming to shortly, so the nurse is going to take you guys back there

you guys can probably go. josh is still sedated

and im going to stick around to get a statement

ill let you guys know if i find anything out ok

hows shelby? shes not making a whole lot of sense right now

but ill keep an eye on her too

how about you? you alright?

im pretty tired. get some rest and ill call you

aww that is so sad

come to bed hoffy, its nappy time

im rochelle im dawn

right

yeah lets party

welcome to Rock Bottom.

wait

i dont know if i can do this

all you got to do is baby steps

just little baby steps

what the hell you talking about baby steps for?

incase you havent noticed, fish ate my damn legs

i hate the water, i hate it

remember what dr smith said, this is all about our road to recovery

well start out with a harmeless little kiddy pool

-

whats the worst that can happen? couple of kids wizzin thats all

kids wizzin?

i can handle that

im not afraid of some punk ass water

im not afraid of some punk ass water

i cant

dont worry about it, we'll figure out somethig else

no its weak, dump me in the water

what? you heard what i said...

get behind the chair, grab the handles, and dump my sorry ass in the water

the way parents toss their kids into the pool when they want them to swim

isnt a bad idea. ok i can do this

1... 2... stop

ok right what happened?

whyd you stop?

you said to stop... no dont listen to my pussy ass mouth

no matter what i say, dump me in the water

ok got it. not going to listen to your pussy ass mouth

i mean, you dont have a pussy ass mouth, im just saying... dump me in the water

ok here we go, 1... 2...3

aww shit no no, i changed my mind

no no no, your going in. - i changed my mind, i dont want to go in the water

your going in. - no i dont want to go in

your going in

hey, leave him alone. no he wants to go in

no the hell i do, i dont want to go in

whats wrong with you? dont push that poor legless stump into the pool

whats wrong with you? dont push that poor legless stump into the pool

yeah thast right, dont dump this poor legless stump in the pool

ok you know what... your going to go into the water

no i dont want to go

not cool man. im not afraid of some punk ass water

not cool at all

ladys and gentlemen, boys and girls

hot moms of all ages. welcome to the big wet

and now, the moment youve all been waiting for

they most famous lifeguard of all time

who wants to party with the hoff? welcome

David Hasselhoff.

there he is

david hasselhoff - ladies

ladies, if you play your cards right

you might get some private mouth to mouth resuscitation

alright, without any further adieu

lets all get wet... and... wild

i knew it

what are you doing back here maddie?

i saw this when i was taking inventory but didnt think to ask why it was here ...untill now

we pump our own water now, fuck the utilities right...

you cant fill this waterpark off a well

its not a standard well

we drilled down a whole lot further, hit an underwater lake

we got enough water to last us till kingdom come

you have no idea what youve done - oh sure i do

i got us a nice fat profit

you dont understand... you could be pumping piranha straight through the intake pipes

Maddy, h�m nay l� ng�y khai truong.

maddie

its opening day, i have shelled out 100 thousand dollars

and you want me to close shop because there might be piranha in the pipe?

what else?

ghosts... boogeyman... sharks... snakes

your laughable, laughable

come on kid

youve been watching too many movies little girl. you should read romance novels

are we done? i got work to do

mommy i got bit

let me see

oh honey you just scraped yourself on something, go tell a lifeguard hell get you a bandaid

no mom it was a piranha - it was not piranha

there are too many people talking about piranh, now scoot

hello... hello

hey - hey

i got bit y a piranha

whats your name kid? - David.

David.

thats pretty cool, that my name too David.

what... whats this?

its an autograph - can i just have a bandaid?

wait a minute, you dont know who i am?... no

you never saw baywatch?

running in slow motion...

how about night rider?

the talking car... anaconda 3, jekyll and hyde on broadway

mr Hasselhoff. hey back off toro im talking to my main man here huh

you really have no idea who i am?

yeah... your a lifeguard and i need a bandaid

can i get a bandaid for my main man david here please

spongebob... im just going to get a bandaid somewhere else

im a lifeguard

i saw a fish

in the splash pool, i know this is crazy but it was a piranha like the ones on the news i swear to god

hey... everyone out of the pool

you have to get them out of the pool right now

hey... no running

game over ched, we gotta shut the waterfront down right now

what part of no fucking way dont you hear?

a woman saw a piranha in the splash pool

did you see it?

did you see it... no but... youve got nothing thats what but

im evacuating this waterfront weather you like it or not

Maddie maddie maddie

cheds right, your just going to cause more panic

im sorry... whos side are you on?

im on the side of being calm, now lets just go check things out ok

you dont believe me, im the one who called you, and you dont fucking believe me

come on kids get out of the pool, please get out of the water

i cant...

i cant let you do that

let go of me... what the fuck you doing? let her go

what you going to do shark boy, huh?

pump me with your fucking trident

im going to give you a little piece of advice buddy, your going to need a bigger one

come on, go

can you believe it? there back. they find you, they always find you

no matter where you go

bring me my legs

titanium mother fuckers

eat this

i hate the water, i hate the fish

help me, help

hey people are dying, your a lifeguard, do something

im not a lifeguard, never was one

help me help me lifeguard...

theres still kids going down slides. once these idiots get out of the water

its not as if the fish are going to follow them home

help me

you went back in the water...

you little ginger mong. mitch, your a lifeguard mitch

holy fuck

im getting old

i made a rescue

i actually made a rescue

can you put me down now...

Ched

Ched

you see them, do you seem them now?

we got to drain the pools

Barry, Barry.

i need you to go to the pump house and force drain the pool

its easy, your leavers are down, you push them straight up

ok ok got it

i want you to know whatever happens, ive loved you since 7th grade

i always will

i thought you were gay?

i gotta get out of here, its not my fault

what the fuck... get off me

hey no

come over here please man look at my ass

holy shit - whatever it is, just get it out

ok this is gonna hurt alright, you ready? 1... 2...

ahh fuck - comeon we got to get to the pump

sorry kid

its not my fault

ok listen to me, i need you to get all the first aid supplies and bring them outside

you got it?... go

i need first aid fuck

Maddie

come here, help me

i didnt know, i promise you i didnt know

what are you talking about? the well ched promised me 35 % of the profits

if i turned a blind eye. just help me, get me out of here

i didnt know that... kyle please

please just help me help me

i cant do this

no no no dont...

please help me

wheres maddie? shes gone, i couldnt save her

Maddie

be a man kyle, be a man be a man kyle

this was a bad idea

Barry.

save her life kyle save her life

being a hero

i got you, oh my god get out of the pool

Maddie

Maddie

Maddie

nobody munches on daves ass bitch

adios bastardos

how the hell did you buy that shotgun leg?

with the money i saved on socks

hello... maddie

your not going to believe this

i was right

there elvolving, there learning to walk

yeah, i know

David!

David, get away from that thing

mom its ok, there slow on land

oh my god, somebody

little... ginger... moron

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