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1
00:00:06,396 --> 00:00:09,200
♪ I'm getting the mail,
hallelujah ♪
2
00:00:09,201 --> 00:00:10,471
♪ I'm getting the mail ♪
3
00:00:10,571 --> 00:00:12,340
♪ It's something to do. ♪
4
00:00:12,341 --> 00:00:15,547
Hmm. What the Helen Mirren?
5
00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:18,253
Stimulus checks?
6
00:00:18,353 --> 00:00:21,357
We were supposed to cash these
during the pandemic.
7
00:00:21,358 --> 00:00:24,330
Should we spend the money now
or wait for the next one?
8
00:00:24,331 --> 00:00:27,036
So what are we gonna blow it on,
jet ski or motorbike?
9
00:00:27,037 --> 00:00:28,640
Vroom, vroom, vroom!
10
00:00:29,409 --> 00:00:32,380
Mom, there is something I've
always wanted for this family,
11
00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:34,384
but it's not a thing, exactly...
12
00:00:34,385 --> 00:00:36,088
- Vroom?
- ...but rather,
13
00:00:36,089 --> 00:00:37,759
it's an experience.
14
00:00:37,859 --> 00:00:38,993
Something we can all treasure
15
00:00:38,994 --> 00:00:40,897
and talk about
for years to come.
16
00:00:40,898 --> 00:00:42,401
Wow.
17
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,371
Well, then maybe
we should do it.
18
00:00:44,372 --> 00:00:45,874
Wait, that's the move?
19
00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:48,413
Go all sincere and emo? Gross.
20
00:00:48,513 --> 00:00:50,316
Vroom, vroom, vroom,
vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.
21
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,388
There is one small issue.
22
00:00:52,488 --> 00:00:55,994
My idea will take
some finessing with Dad.
23
00:00:55,995 --> 00:00:57,130
Hmm.
24
00:00:57,131 --> 00:00:59,467
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
25
00:00:59,468 --> 00:01:02,073
Surprise money,
then a surprise cruise?
26
00:01:02,074 --> 00:01:05,146
Two is the perfect number
of surprises.
27
00:01:05,246 --> 00:01:08,218
It sure is, Dad.
We're going on a regular cruise
28
00:01:08,219 --> 00:01:11,225
with absolutely nothing about it
you'd hate.
29
00:01:11,226 --> 00:01:14,298
What the hell is wrong
with this boat?
30
00:01:14,398 --> 00:01:16,401
[Homer whimpers]
31
00:01:16,402 --> 00:01:19,408
"The Pacific Princess Leia
is a cruise by and for
32
00:01:19,409 --> 00:01:21,445
"fans of sci-fi, fantasy,
33
00:01:21,545 --> 00:01:24,484
comic books,
anime and video games."
34
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:28,292
But-but those are all just
different names for...
35
00:01:28,293 --> 00:01:31,466
♪ Nerds ♪
36
00:01:31,566 --> 00:01:35,907
♪ Exciting and new ♪
37
00:01:35,908 --> 00:01:39,916
♪ Play pickleball ♪
38
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:43,924
♪ With Doctor Who ♪
39
00:01:44,024 --> 00:01:47,198
♪ The Nerd Boat ♪
40
00:01:47,298 --> 00:01:51,807
♪ Your Wolverine T-shirt
is like a tux ♪
41
00:01:51,907 --> 00:01:54,746
♪ The Nerd Boat ♪
42
00:01:54,846 --> 00:02:00,089
♪ Where everyone
knows the new Star Wars sucks ♪
43
00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:01,860
♪ The drinks are all virgin ♪
44
00:02:01,861 --> 00:02:06,001
♪ Just like
all the guests on board ♪
45
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:08,940
♪ Too busy geeking on movies ♪
46
00:02:08,941 --> 00:02:13,015
♪ From Miller and Lord ♪
47
00:02:13,984 --> 00:02:16,823
♪ And nerds ♪
48
00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:20,597
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
49
00:02:21,365 --> 00:02:25,940
♪ That's a vow from your crew ♪
50
00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:29,815
♪ The Fantastic Four ♪
51
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:34,258
♪ You're nerds ♪
52
00:02:34,358 --> 00:02:40,303
♪ Welcome aboard, you nerds. ♪
53
00:02:40,403 --> 00:02:41,972
Stop this loving homage!
54
00:02:41,973 --> 00:02:43,175
I see what you're doing...
55
00:02:43,276 --> 00:02:46,416
celebrating outcast culture
that used to be on the fringes...
56
00:02:46,516 --> 00:02:48,018
and I don't like it!
57
00:02:48,019 --> 00:02:49,656
You nerds stop playing dress-up
58
00:02:49,756 --> 00:02:52,394
or else I'm gonna wedgie you,
and swirly you,
59
00:02:52,494 --> 00:02:54,131
and purple your nurples
until they...
60
00:02:54,231 --> 00:02:56,101
[moans]
61
00:02:56,903 --> 00:02:59,975
Hey, check out that Avatar
volleyball tournament.
62
00:02:59,976 --> 00:03:02,480
It's Na'vi vs. Last Airbenders.
63
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,856
And I'll be on
the "Harvey" deck.
64
00:03:08,126 --> 00:03:10,798
Look at all those Cadburys.
65
00:03:10,898 --> 00:03:12,266
Mmm.
66
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:15,040
Oh, my God,
is that Taika Waititi?
67
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:16,142
[giggles]
68
00:03:16,242 --> 00:03:18,280
I love everything you do.
69
00:03:18,413 --> 00:03:20,784
Your Thor movies,
What We Do In The Shadows.
70
00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:25,327
[gasps] Oh, and you're by far
my favorite on-screen Hitler.
71
00:03:25,427 --> 00:03:26,930
Take that, the late Bruno Ganz.
72
00:03:27,064 --> 00:03:29,735
Well, if you loved that, you'll
certainly be in a "f ührer"
73
00:03:29,736 --> 00:03:32,942
over my newest acting role
as Daerius D'Avignon,
74
00:03:33,076 --> 00:03:37,451
Medieval D'Tective, in the new
$300 million streaming show
75
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,823
Murder, He Swords.
76
00:03:40,590 --> 00:03:43,096
The murderer is...
the black plague.
77
00:03:43,196 --> 00:03:44,698
Again.
78
00:03:44,699 --> 00:03:45,868
[groans]
79
00:03:45,968 --> 00:03:49,442
You know it's good because
it's based on existing I.P.
80
00:03:49,575 --> 00:03:51,546
[trance-like]
I.P., I.P.
81
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,348
[Maggie sucks pacifier]
82
00:03:53,349 --> 00:03:56,254
[announcer] Please welcome
the king and queen of this nerd prom:
83
00:03:56,255 --> 00:03:58,860
Comic and Kumiko Book Guy.
84
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,533
Out of my way,
league of non-legends.
85
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,006
Gaze upon your betters and weep.
86
00:04:05,106 --> 00:04:06,776
Behold,
87
00:04:06,777 --> 00:04:09,547
I have brought the jewel of
my collectible collection.
88
00:04:09,548 --> 00:04:12,420
The rarest treasure
in all of geekdom:
89
00:04:12,421 --> 00:04:14,692
A Radioactive Man action figure
90
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:18,233
accidentally manufactured
with Wolverine claws.
91
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:21,505
Gaze upon it and lose your mind.
92
00:04:21,506 --> 00:04:23,778
[cheering and applause]
93
00:04:23,878 --> 00:04:25,513
Only two of those defective toys
94
00:04:25,514 --> 00:04:27,450
were made before
they caught the mistake.
95
00:04:27,451 --> 00:04:28,721
This you remember,
96
00:04:28,821 --> 00:04:31,692
but every year,
our anniversary evades you.
97
00:04:31,693 --> 00:04:33,964
Don't embarrass me
in front of the other Blades.
98
00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:35,432
[snickering]
99
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,971
Vomit Book Guy is on the boat?
100
00:04:37,972 --> 00:04:39,975
Ugh, cruise ruined.
101
00:04:39,976 --> 00:04:42,481
What do you have against
the Comic Book Guy?
102
00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:45,720
I walked into his store
two weeks ago...
103
00:04:45,721 --> 00:04:48,125
I know this is weird,
but I actually drew
104
00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:50,197
a comic book of my own.
105
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:51,633
[Comic Book Guy]
Hmm.
106
00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:53,937
Check it out.
He's half-croc, half-gator,
107
00:04:53,938 --> 00:04:55,373
and full prankster.
108
00:04:55,473 --> 00:04:58,747
Huh. Wow. You know what?
I'm really impressed.
109
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,651
I'm going to fax this right away
110
00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:04,057
to my friends at
"Man, You Suck Publishing."
111
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,362
[gasping]
112
00:05:06,463 --> 00:05:09,334
[laughs] You suck!
113
00:05:09,335 --> 00:05:10,937
[all laughing]
114
00:05:10,938 --> 00:05:12,874
I swear to God,
one day I'm going to
115
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,546
get my revenge
on Comic Book Guy.
116
00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:18,485
♪
117
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,557
[lively chatter]
118
00:05:20,658 --> 00:05:23,228
I hate this stupid baby
dress-up cruise.
119
00:05:23,229 --> 00:05:25,033
And why can't I be Uncle Fester?
120
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:28,573
I'm bald, and I already own
several black muumuus.
121
00:05:29,441 --> 00:05:32,579
Ooh. Wait, this stuff doesn't
have punny names, does it?
122
00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:34,584
No, it's just like
any other cruise,
123
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,691
infinite food
for gluttonous slobs.
124
00:05:38,526 --> 00:05:41,431
Taika, why are you eating
all by yourself?
125
00:05:41,432 --> 00:05:43,269
To maintain energy
for all my writing,
126
00:05:43,369 --> 00:05:46,241
directing, acting,
and rakish smirking.
127
00:05:46,242 --> 00:05:47,911
Plus, it's in my cruise rider.
128
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:51,018
I also get a cabin facing
the sunrise and the sunset,
129
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:51,987
unlimited Vegemite,
130
00:05:52,087 --> 00:05:55,126
and the top tier
of any seafood tower.
131
00:05:55,127 --> 00:05:56,261
Ah...
132
00:05:56,361 --> 00:05:58,065
Hmm... hmm?
133
00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:01,271
Oh!
134
00:06:01,272 --> 00:06:02,874
Now on display,
135
00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:06,749
the exquisitely flawed
Radioactive X-Gentleman,
136
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:11,258
aka Wolveractive Man,
aka Radio-verine.
137
00:06:11,392 --> 00:06:13,596
[crowd exclaims]
138
00:06:14,766 --> 00:06:16,401
Oh, look out. [grunts]
139
00:06:16,402 --> 00:06:17,871
Don't give that guy money.
140
00:06:17,872 --> 00:06:19,674
He's a dream-crushing jackass
141
00:06:19,675 --> 00:06:21,345
and he doesn't deserve
dollar one.
142
00:06:21,445 --> 00:06:25,620
I hope one day someone destroys
the thing you love most.
143
00:06:26,488 --> 00:06:27,691
[crowd exclaims]
144
00:06:27,692 --> 00:06:29,762
[Carl]
Somebody turned off the lights.
145
00:06:30,831 --> 00:06:32,768
- [crowd gasping]
- [gasps]
146
00:06:32,868 --> 00:06:34,873
[Lenny]
The doll's head. It's gone.
147
00:06:34,973 --> 00:06:38,012
Speak to me, oh, headless
Radioactive collectible.
148
00:06:38,112 --> 00:06:43,055
Oh, sweet suffering mate.
Let me share in your distress.
149
00:06:43,155 --> 00:06:45,159
[singing in Japanese]
150
00:06:46,830 --> 00:06:48,700
Who could have done
such a thing?
151
00:06:48,801 --> 00:06:51,038
Who c... [stammers]
152
00:06:51,138 --> 00:06:53,309
Oh, the agony!
153
00:06:53,443 --> 00:06:55,480
I wager Bart Simpson did this.
154
00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:57,183
He had the motive, means
155
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:59,187
and he's a notorious stinker.
156
00:06:59,188 --> 00:07:02,728
That is a recipe for murder.
157
00:07:02,729 --> 00:07:06,669
And look at the three tiny
scratch marks on Bart's cheek.
158
00:07:07,806 --> 00:07:11,277
No one murders a doll
on my ship. To the brig.
159
00:07:11,278 --> 00:07:13,015
[to The Addams Family theme]
♪ Ba-da-da dum, ba-da-da dum ♪
160
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,186
♪ Ba-da-da dum ♪
D'oh! D'oh!
161
00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,463
I swear, I didn't
kill that doll.
162
00:07:20,597 --> 00:07:21,766
Stop lying, boy.
163
00:07:21,866 --> 00:07:24,672
I can't believe you ruined
my dream cruise.
164
00:07:24,772 --> 00:07:26,207
You hate this cruise.
165
00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,214
No, I hate the theme
and the people and the boat.
166
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,185
But I love the food.
167
00:07:33,223 --> 00:07:35,727
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson,
I know it's hard for you
168
00:07:35,728 --> 00:07:38,398
to see your son in
this tiny cruise ship jail.
169
00:07:38,399 --> 00:07:40,102
It is.
170
00:07:40,103 --> 00:07:41,539
Well, don't you worry.
171
00:07:41,639 --> 00:07:42,975
Tomorrow he'll be taken ashore
172
00:07:43,075 --> 00:07:45,580
and locked in
a full adult prison.
173
00:07:45,681 --> 00:07:48,854
- No! - [gasps]
- But with all the amenities...
174
00:07:48,954 --> 00:07:49,789
Okay.
175
00:07:49,923 --> 00:07:52,359
The Amenities are
a notorious prison gang.
176
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,264
They really hate children.
177
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,868
- No!
- No!
178
00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:01,812
Lis, I know it looks bad,
but I'm really scared.
179
00:08:01,813 --> 00:08:03,515
I swear I didn't do it.
180
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:04,952
I don't know.
181
00:08:04,953 --> 00:08:06,690
You've beheaded
many of my dolls,
182
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:09,962
from Malibu Stacy
to Fire Island Frank.
183
00:08:09,963 --> 00:08:12,333
Oh, those aren't valuable.
They're yours.
184
00:08:12,334 --> 00:08:15,273
Bart, you've lied to me
so many times before,
185
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:16,842
how could I ever believe you?
186
00:08:16,843 --> 00:08:19,114
Okay, but this time
I'm telling the truth,
187
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:22,787
and to prove it, I'm gonna
own up to all my past lies.
188
00:08:22,788 --> 00:08:24,057
[inhales sharply]
189
00:08:24,058 --> 00:08:25,927
That time when the dog
buried your saxophone
190
00:08:25,928 --> 00:08:27,697
in the garden, he had some help.
191
00:08:27,698 --> 00:08:28,967
When Malala called you
on your birthday
192
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:31,104
to tell you to suck lemons,
that was me.
193
00:08:31,105 --> 00:08:33,476
That time you woke up in
a bathtub full of garlic knots...
194
00:08:33,576 --> 00:08:35,279
I get it, I get it.
You're terrible.
195
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,118
Okay, I figure
I only get one time to say,
196
00:08:38,119 --> 00:08:41,025
"Lis, you gotta believe me
no matter what."
197
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:43,395
Right now,
I am playing that card.
198
00:08:43,396 --> 00:08:46,602
I did not destroy that doll.
199
00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:49,341
Oh, my God. I believe you.
200
00:08:50,443 --> 00:08:51,846
- [angry crowd clamoring]
- Oh.
201
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,853
The only way
to clear Bart's name
202
00:08:55,854 --> 00:08:57,759
is to figure out
who really did it.
203
00:08:57,859 --> 00:09:00,296
But I can't do it all by myself.
I need help.
204
00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:01,465
I'll help you.
205
00:09:01,565 --> 00:09:03,169
No, hang on,
let me try that again.
206
00:09:03,302 --> 00:09:05,640
I'll help you! Nailed it.
207
00:09:05,741 --> 00:09:08,578
Taika Waititi? Seriously?
208
00:09:08,579 --> 00:09:10,649
You'll help me
exonerate my brother?
209
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,487
Of course. Why? I'll tell you.
210
00:09:12,587 --> 00:09:13,989
Because I have
a medical condition
211
00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:16,194
where I have to be
multitasking at all times.
212
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:19,366
Well, my brother can't be
the only person on this ship
213
00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:20,903
who hated Comic Book Guy.
214
00:09:20,904 --> 00:09:22,474
So, I guess we'll just
have to question
215
00:09:22,608 --> 00:09:24,779
every passenger on the manifest.
216
00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:27,083
Why don't we start with
fans of the Taika-verse?
217
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:31,057
Whoops, that's everyone.
[laughs]
218
00:09:31,058 --> 00:09:32,059
Let's go.
219
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:34,899
I hate Comic Book Guy
and I hated that doll
220
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,537
because it originally
belonged to me.
221
00:09:37,637 --> 00:09:39,074
[gasps]
222
00:09:41,111 --> 00:09:42,513
[gasps]
223
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:46,222
Oh. Oh. Ooh.
224
00:09:46,355 --> 00:09:48,826
Oh, oh. Oh. Ooh! Ooh.
225
00:09:48,827 --> 00:09:51,899
Hi. Excuse me,
but I will take this, uh,
226
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:54,972
non-priceless,
completely valueless garbage
227
00:09:55,073 --> 00:09:59,114
- off of your hands for, uh, $11.
- Huh?
228
00:09:59,214 --> 00:10:02,620
But, Dad, I think it might
be worth a lot more.
229
00:10:02,755 --> 00:10:04,693
Who cares, Milhouse?
230
00:10:04,793 --> 00:10:07,831
This is two $5 footlongs
and a weird cookie.
231
00:10:07,931 --> 00:10:12,173
Hey, Luann, anniversary dinner
is back on, baby.
232
00:10:13,811 --> 00:10:15,681
I didn't destroy
that action figure,
233
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,651
but I sure had a motive.
234
00:10:17,652 --> 00:10:19,889
A clear motive.
235
00:10:20,658 --> 00:10:22,929
I don't know why
you're interrogating me.
236
00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:26,268
I have no bone to grind with
that Comic Book chap.
237
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:29,675
Really?
Even after Comic Book Guy
238
00:10:29,676 --> 00:10:31,278
led an online troll army
239
00:10:31,378 --> 00:10:34,618
to demand you be fired
and replaced in this?
240
00:10:34,753 --> 00:10:37,924
[announcer] From the producers
of Mad Max comes a vision
241
00:10:37,925 --> 00:10:40,163
so dark, so violent
242
00:10:40,263 --> 00:10:42,366
and so wacky.
243
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,269
Sideshow Mel.
244
00:10:44,270 --> 00:10:48,980
We'll kill them all,
or my name isn't Dick Dastardly.
245
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:52,454
And Timothée Chalamet
as Muttley.
246
00:10:52,554 --> 00:10:54,491
[wheezing laugh]
247
00:10:56,595 --> 00:10:58,398
Curse that funny-book fiend.
248
00:10:58,399 --> 00:11:00,637
He mobilized both
the Hanna-Barbarians
249
00:11:00,738 --> 00:11:02,474
and the Wack-olytes against me
250
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,179
in a devastating
online petition.
251
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:07,115
[Lisa gasps]
252
00:11:07,116 --> 00:11:08,754
[rumbling]
253
00:11:08,854 --> 00:11:10,123
First of all,
that looks so good,
254
00:11:10,223 --> 00:11:12,327
I'm surprised
I didn't direct it.
255
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,230
Did I? October was crazy.
256
00:11:14,231 --> 00:11:17,302
But Mel, would your
bone-trembling anger
257
00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:18,404
lead you to destroy
258
00:11:18,405 --> 00:11:21,378
Comic Book Guy's
most prized possession?
259
00:11:21,478 --> 00:11:23,616
It would! But it didn't.
260
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,853
But it could! And if I did,
261
00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:28,492
I would lie about it to you now!
262
00:11:28,592 --> 00:11:31,398
But I'm not. But I would!
263
00:11:34,038 --> 00:11:36,042
Why are you
wasting your time with me?
264
00:11:36,142 --> 00:11:38,445
I love my greasy snowman husband
265
00:11:38,579 --> 00:11:41,317
and his tragic blooper
of an action figure.
266
00:11:41,318 --> 00:11:44,524
We have security footage
that says differently.
267
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:53,910
It's true, I hated that
injection-molded monstrosity.
268
00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:56,047
When I first met Comic Book Guy,
269
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,518
I was his priceless collectible.
270
00:11:58,519 --> 00:11:59,955
But now, when we make love,
271
00:12:00,055 --> 00:12:02,928
my husband calls out
the doll's serial number.
272
00:12:03,028 --> 00:12:07,137
I just want back my sweet
Comic Book gaijin.
273
00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:09,174
[sobs]
274
00:12:12,213 --> 00:12:15,386
So many passengers could have
committed doll-icide.
275
00:12:15,387 --> 00:12:16,823
Hmm.
276
00:12:16,923 --> 00:12:18,325
Poor Bart. Ah, but geez,
277
00:12:18,459 --> 00:12:21,899
look at the mess
he left in our cabin.
278
00:12:22,835 --> 00:12:23,837
[gasps]
279
00:12:23,937 --> 00:12:27,712
Oh, dear God.
280
00:12:27,812 --> 00:12:29,214
I didn't think Bart did it
281
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,317
but then I found
this radioactive head
282
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:34,089
from the decapitated doll
in Bart's stuff.
283
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:36,527
He looked me right in the eyes
284
00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:38,532
and said he didn't do it.
285
00:12:38,533 --> 00:12:40,568
I can never trust him again.
286
00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:42,106
- [cries]
- Oh, sweetie,
287
00:12:42,107 --> 00:12:45,379
you've just learned
one of life's hardest lessons.
288
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:48,018
Sometimes, no matter
how much you love someone,
289
00:12:48,118 --> 00:12:50,588
they're just
going to let you down.
290
00:12:50,589 --> 00:12:52,226
For your mother, it's me.
291
00:12:52,227 --> 00:12:54,497
Just try to get
some sleep, honey.
292
00:12:54,631 --> 00:12:58,706
Bart will still be
horribly guilty in the morning.
293
00:13:01,713 --> 00:13:02,749
[sighs]
294
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,284
- [knock on door]
- Hmm?
295
00:13:06,488 --> 00:13:08,090
Rainer Wolfcastle?
296
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,593
There is something
I must tell you
297
00:13:09,594 --> 00:13:13,469
about the night of the fanquet
and subsequent toy murder.
298
00:13:13,602 --> 00:13:15,006
When everything went dark,
299
00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:17,277
I was wearing
my night-vision goggles,
300
00:13:17,377 --> 00:13:19,981
from my upcoming film
The Night-Vision Goggler.
301
00:13:19,982 --> 00:13:21,652
[gasps] Did you see who did it?
302
00:13:21,653 --> 00:13:24,825
Patience, Fr äulein.
I did see the culprit,
303
00:13:24,826 --> 00:13:28,734
and I am about to tell you
who he or she is.
304
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:31,739
Watch as the words
emerge from my mouth.
305
00:13:31,873 --> 00:13:35,479
The doll murderer
is nein other than...
306
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:36,682
Ouch.
307
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:40,589
I will be passing out now
and all of these things.
308
00:13:40,724 --> 00:13:42,226
[groans]
309
00:13:42,227 --> 00:13:43,362
[gasps]
310
00:13:51,144 --> 00:13:53,750
[groans] Damn it.
311
00:13:56,857 --> 00:13:58,091
Ugh.
312
00:14:01,364 --> 00:14:04,204
Lisa. Are you also up
dusting for prints?
313
00:14:04,304 --> 00:14:06,041
That's what I call
eating leftover food
314
00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:08,078
off people's room-service trays.
315
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:11,518
I don't care!
316
00:14:12,454 --> 00:14:15,092
If one more
horrible thing happens,
317
00:14:15,192 --> 00:14:16,963
I'm going to lose it.
318
00:14:17,063 --> 00:14:18,298
[Kumiko screams]
319
00:14:18,432 --> 00:14:22,808
My sweet Comic Book Guy is gone.
320
00:14:22,908 --> 00:14:25,512
Of course he is.
321
00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:26,681
I mean...
322
00:14:26,682 --> 00:14:28,485
[shouts]
323
00:14:32,711 --> 00:14:34,715
Bart's in jail,
our one credible witness
324
00:14:34,849 --> 00:14:35,883
just got sucker-shielded,
325
00:14:35,884 --> 00:14:37,253
Comic Book Guy is missing,
326
00:14:37,353 --> 00:14:39,391
and we're still no closer
to solving the case.
327
00:14:39,524 --> 00:14:41,193
So many twists and turns.
328
00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:42,931
What kind of
murder mystery is this?
329
00:14:42,932 --> 00:14:45,603
Stop talking, Taika Waititi.
330
00:14:45,736 --> 00:14:46,805
That's it.
331
00:14:46,806 --> 00:14:48,441
I know who murdered the toy.
332
00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:50,145
But I just need one thing:
333
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:53,786
An audience to watch me
milk the big reveal.
334
00:14:53,887 --> 00:14:56,624
The murder of Comic Book Guy's
action figure
335
00:14:56,625 --> 00:15:00,166
was committed
by Comic Book Guy himself.
336
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,570
Based on a hunch,
I wrote to Lloyd's of London,
337
00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:05,776
and I got this response
from Lloyd himself. Good guy.
338
00:15:05,777 --> 00:15:08,883
Comic Book Guy had the doll
appraised and insured
339
00:15:08,983 --> 00:15:11,855
for 935,000 British pounds.
340
00:15:11,856 --> 00:15:13,292
[all exclaiming]
341
00:15:13,392 --> 00:15:14,660
So, he turned off the lights
342
00:15:14,661 --> 00:15:17,233
and murdered
the plastic action man himself
343
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:18,668
for the insurance money.
344
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,738
But then he knew
that we were onto him,
345
00:15:20,739 --> 00:15:22,844
or, let's face it,
I was onto him.
346
00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:24,514
So, he took flight
in the dead of night,
347
00:15:24,614 --> 00:15:27,252
but not before planting
the doll's head in Bart's cabin,
348
00:15:27,253 --> 00:15:29,157
and knocking out
the one witness to the crime,
349
00:15:29,257 --> 00:15:31,995
washed-up action star
Rainier Wolfcastle.
350
00:15:31,996 --> 00:15:33,598
That's fair.
351
00:15:33,698 --> 00:15:35,069
[moans]
352
00:15:35,203 --> 00:15:36,672
Now Comic Book Guy's probably
353
00:15:36,772 --> 00:15:39,142
on a tropical beach somewhere
sipping mai tais.
354
00:15:39,143 --> 00:15:41,681
Little does he know
that his heinous crime
355
00:15:41,782 --> 00:15:44,988
has been exposed by me,
master sleuth
356
00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:47,326
and star of the upcoming reboot
357
00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:49,664
Kiwi's Big Adventure,
358
00:15:49,764 --> 00:15:51,266
Taika Waititi.
359
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:52,805
[cheering]
360
00:15:52,938 --> 00:15:55,810
Wow, he really did it.
361
00:15:58,348 --> 00:15:59,986
Oh, my God.
362
00:16:00,086 --> 00:16:02,189
How could I have been so stupid?
363
00:16:02,289 --> 00:16:05,662
Amazing work, Taika Waititi.
364
00:16:05,663 --> 00:16:07,699
I know you just
cracked the case,
365
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,005
but I have a little
theory of my own.
366
00:16:10,006 --> 00:16:11,774
Does anyone want to hear it?
367
00:16:11,775 --> 00:16:13,010
[all]
No!
368
00:16:13,011 --> 00:16:15,715
Oh, come on, people.
What's the harm?
369
00:16:15,716 --> 00:16:17,018
Thank you, Taika.
370
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,521
Now, as you recall,
371
00:16:18,522 --> 00:16:22,096
there were only two of these
irregular Radioactive Man dolls
372
00:16:22,229 --> 00:16:24,333
made in the whole world.
373
00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:26,370
- Oh, I remember.
- [murmurs of agreement]
374
00:16:26,371 --> 00:16:28,843
What if the owner
of the other doll
375
00:16:28,976 --> 00:16:30,480
received some bad news
376
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:32,749
and broke their action
figure in a fit of rage?
377
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:36,423
And then what if that owner came
on this cruise specifically
378
00:16:36,424 --> 00:16:40,199
to swap out their broken figure
for Comic Book Guy's intact one
379
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,938
so that they could secretly
possess the only Radioactive Man
380
00:16:43,038 --> 00:16:45,576
with Wolverine Claws
left in existence?
381
00:16:45,676 --> 00:16:49,117
And I just discovered something
quite interesting,
382
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,255
thanks to the ship's
onboard Wi-Fi,
383
00:16:51,388 --> 00:16:53,993
which is spotty at best.
384
00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:57,099
According to this website,
385
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,003
that second doll was sold
386
00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:00,738
in Wellington, New Zealand,
387
00:17:00,739 --> 00:17:04,046
where they spell "colour"
with a "U."
388
00:17:04,047 --> 00:17:08,320
Now, who on this boat do we know
comes from New Zealand?
389
00:17:08,321 --> 00:17:10,625
Well, that's
a very clever theory.
390
00:17:10,626 --> 00:17:12,230
But if it's a crime
to be from New Zealand,
391
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:15,668
you'd have to arrest both guys
from Flight of the Conchords.
392
00:17:15,669 --> 00:17:18,408
What are their names again?
Fred and Jimothy?
393
00:17:19,277 --> 00:17:20,546
You might be right,
394
00:17:20,679 --> 00:17:23,217
but consider that the shield
that incapacitated
395
00:17:23,218 --> 00:17:25,221
the only witness to the crime
396
00:17:25,222 --> 00:17:27,893
seems to be covered with goo.
397
00:17:27,894 --> 00:17:31,033
What manner of goo?
398
00:17:31,034 --> 00:17:33,605
Dad, I know this is a weird ask,
399
00:17:33,706 --> 00:17:35,976
but would you mind
licking this... Oh.
400
00:17:35,977 --> 00:17:37,313
Ugh. Ew.
401
00:17:37,413 --> 00:17:39,783
Salty. Yeasty.
402
00:17:39,784 --> 00:17:42,891
Ugh. With hints
of malty grossness.
403
00:17:44,694 --> 00:17:45,729
Vegemite,
404
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:48,602
the favorite food of
Taika Waititi.
405
00:17:48,702 --> 00:17:53,010
Or should I say fave-o-U-rite.
406
00:17:53,011 --> 00:17:54,947
[crowd muttering]
407
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:57,252
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What about the scratch marks
408
00:17:57,253 --> 00:17:59,556
on Bart Simpson's face?
Those had to come from
409
00:17:59,557 --> 00:18:01,060
the tiny claws
on the doll he broke.
410
00:18:01,061 --> 00:18:05,434
Did they? Or maybe they came
from this seafood fork.
411
00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:07,006
My dad was selfishly shoveling
412
00:18:07,106 --> 00:18:09,409
pre-shucked shellfish
down his shrimp-shaft...
413
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:11,682
one take [chuckles]...
and he accidentally
414
00:18:11,782 --> 00:18:14,152
scratched Bart on his cheek.
415
00:18:14,153 --> 00:18:16,358
That silver-haired
multi-hyphenate
416
00:18:16,492 --> 00:18:18,194
is guilty as sin.
417
00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:19,899
[chuckles] Not without
418
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,468
one more piece of
damning evidence, I'm not.
419
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,942
You can't just
tear my cabin apart!
420
00:18:25,042 --> 00:18:26,343
You need a warrant!
421
00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:29,717
No, we don't.
We're in international waters.
422
00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:31,621
We're in the middle of
Lake Springfield.
423
00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:34,060
I can see the Lard Lad statue
from here.
424
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:38,267
Here it is, Comic Book Guy's
original doll unbroken.
425
00:18:38,268 --> 00:18:41,573
Damn it. Yes, it's true,
Lenny. I did it.
426
00:18:41,574 --> 00:18:44,347
I threw my New Zealand
Radioactive Man across the room
427
00:18:44,447 --> 00:18:46,385
when I found out
the streamer was shelving
428
00:18:46,485 --> 00:18:49,189
the second season of my series
without airing it.
429
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:51,094
For tax purposes?
430
00:18:51,194 --> 00:18:52,597
Yes, for tax purposes.
431
00:18:52,697 --> 00:18:55,001
So I hatched this plan
because I needed the money
432
00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:58,875
to throw into my already
enormous pile of money.
433
00:18:58,876 --> 00:18:59,777
[handcuffs clink]
434
00:18:59,778 --> 00:19:01,781
You haven't seen the last of me.
435
00:19:01,882 --> 00:19:04,454
I've got powerful friends
in New Zealand.
436
00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:09,130
Hobbits, orcs, Lorde,
ents, Melanie Lynskey,
437
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:10,765
the "How Bizarre" guy.
438
00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:12,536
We are a powerful nation.
439
00:19:12,537 --> 00:19:14,373
[shrieks] Ow! Ow!
440
00:19:14,374 --> 00:19:17,180
There is one thing
I can't figure out.
441
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,116
What happened to Comic Book Guy?
442
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,153
I mean, we looked everywhere.
443
00:19:21,154 --> 00:19:24,895
[gasps] Except the one place
he would never go.
444
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,138
Oh, my sarcastic darling.
445
00:19:30,139 --> 00:19:31,942
What happened to you?
446
00:19:32,042 --> 00:19:33,544
Permit me to explain.
447
00:19:33,545 --> 00:19:35,616
[Homer]
Oh, more explaining?
448
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:40,224
[Comic Book Guy] When Lisa and
Taika Waititi began questioning suspects,
449
00:19:40,225 --> 00:19:42,028
I set up a surveillance device
450
00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:46,037
because I wanted to mock their
inept methods of interrogation.
451
00:19:46,137 --> 00:19:48,342
I hate Comic Book Guy,
452
00:19:48,442 --> 00:19:50,345
but then again,
so does everyone.
453
00:19:50,346 --> 00:19:51,982
He smells like baked beans
454
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,685
that have been left out
in the sun.
455
00:19:53,785 --> 00:19:55,722
I loathe his voice.
456
00:19:55,857 --> 00:19:58,962
Who speaks with such
exaggerated affectation?
457
00:19:58,963 --> 00:20:00,465
[Comic Book Guy]
No one should ever have to hear
458
00:20:00,565 --> 00:20:02,068
what people
actually think of them.
459
00:20:02,069 --> 00:20:06,010
Apparently, I am not a beloved
quirky character, like Kramer.
460
00:20:06,011 --> 00:20:09,683
Instead, I am widely reviled,
like the guy who played Kramer.
461
00:20:09,684 --> 00:20:12,688
So, I hid here,
surrounded only by shame
462
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:15,762
and whatever these
metal things are.
463
00:20:15,763 --> 00:20:18,001
Mmm! [grunts happily]
464
00:20:18,101 --> 00:20:20,205
I don't want to get
all sincere and emo,
465
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:21,574
but thanks, Lisa.
466
00:20:21,575 --> 00:20:22,977
You never lost faith in me.
467
00:20:22,978 --> 00:20:26,551
Well, if I'm being
totally honest...
468
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,090
...I never did.
469
00:20:31,428 --> 00:20:34,199
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
470
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,170
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
471
00:20:36,171 --> 00:20:37,973
and TOYOTA.
472
00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:40,278
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
473
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:46,223
I just want back
474
00:20:46,224 --> 00:20:48,428
my sweet Comic Book gaijin.
475
00:20:48,429 --> 00:20:50,731
[sobs]
476
00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:54,106
Once again, a critical lesson
is learned via hologram.
477
00:20:54,107 --> 00:20:56,879
I have been a fool.
478
00:20:56,979 --> 00:20:59,583
♪
479
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:21,360
Best husband ever.
480
00:21:33,419 --> 00:21:34,855
Shh!
35205
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