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I bought this dress in Paris

six months ago, and now look. And I'm wearing shaping knickers,

I don't get it.

Then the wig: 30 euros. What do you think?

This is… -Pol, we're off in two!

Okay!

What? You're leaving?

What will I do on my own? I don't know anyone here.

Look, Dino's worth knowing.

So, it's just assumed I'll get along with this Dino?

He's insanely empathetic.

Anything you tell him, he gets it.

You don't mean you.

You're not revealing any secrets.

All I know about you is…

you steal ham. -Attention!

Someone wants to buy the place.

No!

What would I do with a million euros?

Dino!

Is this the famous María Bolaño?

It is indeed.

Hello…

Apollo's talked about you a lot.

Apollo?

Two kisses, professor.

Before anything, so there's no misunderstanding,

I like men.

Right. So there's no relapse,

I'm an alcoholic and I've been dry two months,

so I'm already considering a taxi.

Well, don't. Come on.

Before that, I want you to try a mocktail that you're going to love.

Pomegranate, lime, lemon and ginger ale. Sweetheart!

A Shirley Temple for María Bolaño!

I'm so up for a party, darling!

More than 300 people are going.

Everyone in a mask?

Yeah! It's all very Versailles.

Okay, okay!

Something wrong, big man?

Not at all!

I want to see them and things to be like before.

Before? Before what?

Like before!

Yeah!

CRAUGH

I love that everyone's off their head, Ángel.

Make the most of it.

We'll be fat and bald in ten years!

Jeez… that doesn't help, man!

This is the life. Look. Photo-call, clothes, drinks…

I want a photo! Photo, photo, photo!

Come on over, boys. Photo! -Here, go ahead.

Again. Another one. -Like this…

No. Strong. -This.

Like that, like that.

Done. -Let's see.

Awesome! -No. No.

Delete it. I look fat. -And?

Ángel… It is what is it.

This is mine! -This is so cool, man!

Let me see… This one! -Wait for me…

Whoa, Biel! Are you Mozart?

Oti did it to me, you just can't say no to her.

I don't know… -You look amazing, man!

How's it going, mate?

Who are you? -Dude, I'm Oti's ex.

Arnau, what's up? You here with your maths mates?

No. Amy. -Amy's here?

Yeah. -I didn't know. Where?

Amy!

Pol!

How are things? I've missed you.

This would never happen at my uni,

I love philosophy!

So, she switched degrees?

Yeah, man. I wish she'd change to maths.

Do you like Amy?

She gets me going, yeah.

She's seeing Oti, you know.

What?

Oti likes to experiment.

Yeah, Jesus, I get it.

I'd experiment with everyone.

But… I'm still hung up on Oti.

Oti?

Palace life is so exciting!

Finally, there you are.

Hello, Rai. I was just leaving.

No, wait. Iron this shirt.

No. I should've left half an hour ago.

It won't take long. I need it.

I'm going to the uni with Pol.

You've got 40 shirts already ironed in your wardrobe.

Not that I'm counting, but judging by…

I want this one.

I'm asking you nicely.

Fine, give me a minute.

You don't look well, ma'am.

Are you feeling okay?

Perfect.

Okay then. I was just off to iron Rai's shirt.

Iron away.

Good God…

What do you want me to say?

The Catalonian indifference

to meeting people rubs off.

Yes, they keep to themselves.

But they lock themselves away at 7 in the evening.

So do I.

I've already strayed too far.

Oh, I see.

Closed doors and a clear head.

So you can't get back on the wagon.

That comparison wasn't necessary.

Well, girl…

Girl?

What smooth skin you have.

"Girl" makes me uncomfortable.

Okay.

Have you got kids?

Yes, I've got a daughter.

Her name's Laura. She's 28, has a job, a boyfriend,

and they want to live together. They have Down's Syndrome.

Are they in love?

Seems like it.

How wonderful!

Aren't you going to ask if I have kids?

You've got kids?

One.

With a lesbian friend.

The eighties were crazy.

We had an intense relationship.

It was a whirlwind as it was over quickly.

But I like to think…

that my son's name is Elton,

and they're happy, healthy

and tanned on a beach in Florida.

You don't actually know if you're a father?

What? I'm certain I am.

Look, a father knows.

When it rains, my coccyx hurts.

I want to participate

in the Banquet. -So, sign up.

Yeah. If we need tables or chairs…

I don't mean carrying tables.

I want to have a say, like you guys.

Right, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, sure. If… if you think you're up to it.

Of course I am.

I'm on the course too, dickhead.

Shit, I'm such an idiot.

Hey you. This may interest you.

A race in high heels.

Yeah? -Yes, the Versailles Mile.

I'll win it.

You're all talk! -You're so cocky!

If you want to sign up, go ahead. But you'll lose.

We'll see about that. I'm in!

Sign me up too.

Okay.

What's up, Rai?

I was hoping to see you, man.

You were?

Are you feeling okay?

You wanting to see me.

What is it?

It just seems a bit strange.

Hey, Amy O'Connor!

Rai House Michael! -I love it.

Have you got a gun to shoot all these hypocrites?

Hey, how are you?

Why have you got a watermelon?

Save it for the Banquet.

I didn't mean anything by it.

It was a reflex, that's worse.

It's as if no one can forget I failed ethical ed.

God! Stop judging me, for fuck's sake!

You're not Seneca. -You're right. Oti…

I'll end up quitting to stop all this.

Don't say that, Oti. All right?

If you quit the course, I…

I will too.

Forget it. I just want to have fun.

Of course. You… you and I…

understood each other right away.

That time we slept together, it was really good.

And who knows, maybe you want to do it again.

I'm not in love with you, OK?

I'm talking sex.

I don't mind whether it happens again or not.

There, I said it.

I enjoyed it too.

But I don't plan to get with the whole class.

The whole class?

Not the whole class. You and Pol.

Though Pol and I didn't really sleep together.

It was more…

affectionate, sensitive, you know?

We can be friends.

I'll help you with metaphysics, I'm better at it.

Okay.

Okay. -Here.

Rai!

Rai!

Ma'am, ma'am! Oh my goodness…

Where's my son?

He's not here. How're you feeling?

Terrible. Can't you see? Everything's spinning.

Get out, don't look. Get out!

Here, cover yourself up.

I can't take this.

Something's wrong.

No, it's a dizzy spell. It's not the first time.

Dizzy? I know something for dizziness that'll sort you out.

So, now you're a doctor?

The same thing happened to me on my honeymoon.

We were in Gandia in a hotel

and I felt ill and they recommended…

Please! I'm dying here

and you're talking about your honeymoon?

Okay. I'll stop right there.

You just stay here feeling dizzy.

Go.

Go to the chemist and get me the Gandia pills!

Yes, I'm going.

Poor thing.

He's dead!

Spanish villages remind me a lot of Arkansas.

Listen to that!

But Catalonia has a lot going for it.

A lot. -Yeah!

Yeah, lots and lots going for it.

Here we have masquerade parties,

races in high heels…

It's awesome, right.

If you hate it so much, go.

You'd like that.

Enough, Rai. Why create a bad atmosphere?

No. I'm up for partying.

I don't want a mask because I don't want to look an idiot.

But everything else is fine.

It's pointless making us believe

sex comes from a place of love.

It's the opposite! -Okay… don't get mad.

Don't get upset. -We're talking about love.

I'm not. Neither's she. Just him! -No, I'm not.

I was saying that love comes from sexual instinct.

Not my words, Schopenhauer's.

Maybe he was right.

So, love isn't important?

That's what I think.

Why are we here? To dance? No!

We've come here to mate, like leopards.

Speak for yourself.

No, look at that lot.

They're dancing in order to pull, that's all.

Do they teach that in philosophy? -Not at all.

"Not at all", no… -No, really, listen.

Really. Who likes dancing?

Me. -No one!

No. Dancing is a way to pull someone and that's it.

Is that what you do, then?

If you want, I'll ask them.

Come on then! -No, Biel, don't.

You wouldn't dare ask them.

Biel, don't. -You won't do it.

Biel, no! Biel!

Hi. Sorry, just very quickly.

How many of you

came here tonight wanting to dance?

No one!

You're hoping for something else:

to fuck!

Let me see. So, you got all showered,

perfumed, dressed up all fancy…

just to dance?

It's just… -Yeah, yeah!

Very good, Biel! -It's crazy!

If you're dancing, it has to do with sex.

Yeah!

Who wants to fuck me?

Me!

This guy is off his head. -He really is.

85, 1456,

227, and carry 6,

and carry 1, 9 and 2…

It's a miracle when the till adds up.

Hey, I've still got my part to pay.

For God's sake, that's very Catalonian.

Everyone pays their own way, right?

That's how it should be.

Good food, good wine, all a great sign.

I like the use of "cal."

They don't say: "Is it necessary?" They say: "Cal?"

Wouldn't you like to have a "cal" in Spanish?

Right, Dino, I'm off.

"Cal"?

I've been here a while.

You don't have many friends, right?

What are you? A psychologist? Do you write self-help books?

It's not a criticism.

It's just my impression.

I don't want to get wound up, okay?

It was nice, we chatted, one day we can meet up with Apollo.

But for now, you and me…

we're still just strangers.

I'm Balbino.

My mother was from Asturias.

Some people called me Balbi, others called me Bino…

When I got to Barcelona, I said:

"I'm going to be Dino here."

After Dean Martin.

Of course, no one remembers Dean Martin, do they?

I do.

And you'd pass up a night with one of his admirers?

Another time.

Who does your hair?

Sorry?

Who does your hair?

I do it myself.

No wonder.

If you stay, I'll do your hair.

And in exchange, you…

can give me a class in ethics.

Every eight hours, like clockwork.

Don't forget. I can set an alarm for you.

You don't need to do that.

I'll stay a bit longer to make sure…

No, no. Go.

Call the hotel in Gandia

and thank them

for recommending the pills.

Poor guy. He died.

He was called

Little Martín because his surname was Martín.

He was tiny… a midget.

Bald.

A really kind person.

We stayed up talking one night until the early hours.

He told me about his tragic childhood

in a small village in Galicia.

And his first love, who he dreamed about every night…

Three days later, my wife and I went for breakfast.

The owner of the hotel came to us all teary-eyed…

"Little Martín is dead."

He had a motorbike accident.

Alfonso…

You've worked two extra hours,

you should go.

Yes.

Yes, yes.

Gloria will think I've got lost.

Look!

In case you need to vomit again.

I don't vomit in buckets, thanks.

Fine.

Goodnight.

There you are.

There.

Well, well, well!

Take my husband's suit off right now

or I'll call the police. -Yes.

I wasn't going to take it, promise.

You're lucky I haven't got the energy to shout.

I'll put everything back immediately, ma'am.

And you take care. Take it easy.

I will if I want. -Take care.

We'll talk later. -Ma'am.

Ma'am…

You idiot, you idiot…

Let's go! -One, two, three…

And…

If you don't make eye contact… Well, you know.

Another one?

All right, again!

Come on. -Again.

Come on. -All right.

Last one.

Look what you started, man.

I made a royal idiot of myself.

Whatever, it was funny.

Funny?

Everyone will be staring at me at uni on Monday.

That's if I go.

You're the God of Love, Biel.

Well, when it concerns me, it doesn't go very well.

Did you know that I liked Minerva?

Fuck off.

And I didn't like you.

Fuck…

Is it time to take the masks off, or what?

When you told us Minerva was staying in Argentina,

deep down, I was pleased.

It's helped me to get over her.

I'm not in love anymore.

Thank God love has a sell-by date, right?

I don't think I'm going to have a good one.

Did I grab the mic and say they weren't fucking?

Yeah.

Epictetus once said you shouldn't spend life…

thinking about the past or future.

Instead, focus on the present.

It's the only way to be able to stay in control.

Not even then.

Sure, not even then. That's for sure.

It's all tangled.

Give it some, it needs untangling.

Her hair's very unruly.

Hey, lovely. Didn't you have a date with a footballer?

My darlings, I'm off.

Don't forget to give her some blush.

Bye. -Bye.

Close your eyes.

Now it's your turn.

I only know about opera.

Do you like opera?

Not especially.

But I love Mozart's Requiem.

Something else.

Though I prefer the bit Mozart didn't compose.

You're remarkable, eh?

You, on the other hand, you're very straightforward.

Open your eyes.

No, I don't like it.

It's not my style.

Obviously, your style is letting yourself go.

I beg your pardon.

Sometimes, I'm a bit too honest.

Well, you can stick your honesty.

I'm going. -Stop saying you're going

and get the hell out of here.

You can tell everyone Dino saw you don't love yourself

and he devoted his time to seeing to your image.

Epictetus, yeah right.

You're stuck in the past,

longing for what could have been.

I'd like to be a young Apollo again, but…

What's up, Rai?

Have you seen Biel?

I lost him.

He'll turn up. -I haven't seen him.

I'm sorry, but I ended up staying.

Jeez, man. That's third, fourth, or fifth dig

you've made today.

I didn't want you to go.

Well, I'm not so sure.

You wanted a fight…

No. But I'll have to steal your wallet

for you to be my friend.

You're bored of me.

I'll be Biel's mate,

he's the new philosophy king.

What the fuck's going on? Just say it.

I'll tell you.

Mate, you're a joke since you went and adopted

dogs with Axel, a dog's best friend.

And then you spent a week

off the grid blaming it on trouble at home.

It just doesn't wash, man. It's bullshit.

Admit that you've been distant

and a total dick.

It pisses me off, yes,

because we were mates.

I knew you were into me and I even gave you a snog, man.

Fuck you, man!

Pol…

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Pol, you've had too much to drink.

I'm not well, Oti.

It must be the stupid medication.

Shit!

What's going on?

Answer it.

It had better not be her…

What, Rai?

I'm at the university

and… and I got a bit wet and I need some clothes.

You seriously want me to go

to your house and get you clothes?

It doesn't have to be my house.

It'd be faster if you got stuff from Pol's.

All right, I'm coming.

Wait there, sonny.

You know that if I do extra hours, I'll want paying.

If not, you won't go.

If not, I won't come.

A hundred euros?

A hundred euros?

Two hundred. -Two hundred!

Else, you'll get pneumonia.

All right, fine. I'll wait for you at the main entrance.

No longer than ten minutes, okay?

Christ…

I could tell him…

three hundred euros,

and he'd say yes.

I'm such an idiot!

You're soaking wet…

You don't say! Give me that.

What are you doing?

Look, kid,

either you say please or I take the clothes home.

Jesus…

What?

Will you give me the bag?

Please.

Thanks, Alfonso. Thanks.

You're welcome.

What a fucking night… Fuck me!

What are you moaning for?

There are those who have to wade through shit

and you have an invisible skateboard.

Does your dad know?

You must be joking.

So, that's why you're not with Axel?

Isn't this enough, Oti?

I'm glad you've told me.

People think I'm unhinged

or I just want to have fun.

But I'm more mature than I seem.

That day, at home, thank God we didn't.

I would have loved to.

And I still would.

What are you saying?

What's the matter?

Don't like using condoms?

I'm not asking you to.

I'm not scared of what you've got.

You're the same to me.

I'm jealous of your confidence in philosophy.

It's obviously your calling.

I don't have it.

And I'm proud of my friend.

Now do me a favour.

It's time to run.

In heels.

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Phi-phi-philosoparty!

Attention!

Attention…

The rules for the Versailles Mile…

are that there are no rules!

One…

Two…

Three!

What are you doing? -Nothing.

Let's help her!

Go. One, two…

You bastards. You put benches up? Guys…

Shit. Was it you? -No, it was like this.

Go ahead without me, Arni!

"Arni"?

That's cool.

Awesome!

Get in! I won!

Alfonso?

Listen, Gloria,

do you know if something strange is going on with Pol?

No.

Where was it?

At the back of the drawer.

If they were aspirin,

I don't think he'd hide them in a drawer.

Dencovyl.

How do you spell it?

Don't go!

How can I not?

My son needs help.

He doesn't know his luck and just parties away.

You're jumping ahead.

I'm his father, I have to talk to him.

No. Pol isn't dying.

If he's on medication, the doctor has told him to be.

I need to talk to him now and give him what for.

Listen to me for once, for God's sake!

You're both the same:

if there's a problem, you hide it.

I'm not surprised he hasn't told you.

He knows you'll blow your top. Respect him.

When you've calmed down,

then you can go and talk to him.

That hurts!

It's too small, Oti.

Pull harder. -I can't.

Wait. One, two… Blow. Blow.

Well done.

Let's go to the beach to watch the sunrise.

Your dad brought your clothes.

Chill, I paid him.

You're dressed as Pol?

All the girls are after me.

How are you?

Good, I'm better.

The gods punished me by throwing me

in a pond of waterlilies.

Put me down, man.

What's that? You have no strength. -Stop.

I can open this with my head.

Biel, man… -No way, Biel, go on.

Do it, do it… -This one's more ripe.

I wouldn't do it, Biel. -Here it goes…

Biel, don't crack your lovely head.

Leave him, let him try.

Biel, Biel! -Come on, come on.

Biel, Biel, Biel, Biel!

Shit.

Yeah, it's wet.

Wet.

The only way you and I are getting wet tonight.

See? That's what's called a gay orgasm.

When a gay guy makes a woman laugh.

Shut up…

You managed to have a night out

and stay sober.

And you look gorgeous.

When your daughter sees you…

I've looked after her 28 years,

but I couldn't care for myself.

I'm afraid philosophy doesn't help you as much as you think.

Of course not! What would it help!

It doesn't help me, nor… nor provide comfort.

No. I've spent my whole bloody life fighting.

My whole life.

Without a break.

One mistake after another, and another…

How is it that someone as intelligent as me…

has been able to mess up like this?

Careful of the stitching, don't scratch your nose.

Magic.

You "craughed."

Cried?

No…

To cry and laugh at the same time.

"Craugh."

My mother made me "craugh."

And then what?

Dude, I already told you twice.

You gave a final sprint,

you came first, everyone clapped.

That's amazing!

I hardly ever win anything.

Calm down, Biel. It wasn't the Boston Marathon.

You always mention the US. I love it!

If I won the race,

that means I'm capable of lots of things.

I might even finish my degree with straight As

and be vice-chancellor of the uni.

Too much responsibility, no.

I'd rather focus on enjoying life, man.

Of course, I'd like to know how.

I know how.

I want to travel the world.

But no camping, I want giant beds.

I'm coming with you.

Do it.

We can go via Buenos Aires and Minerva can join us.

Okay. We'll fall in love there too.

Better yet: we'll fall for someone different in each place.

I'll try not to fall in love, it's better being friends.