Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007
♪
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,426
I'm so flippin' stoked to finally go
4
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:13,096
to the newest, most-cash-grabbiest
Instagram attraction in town:
5
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,848
the Sprinkle Museum.
6
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,518
I'm gonna take a thirst trap
with every kinda sprinkle there is.
7
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,686
Jimmies, nonpareils,
even the fucking blue ones!
8
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:20,979
Nobody's going anywhere.
9
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,481
I have to express your mounds.
10
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,733
The stink is attracting
those giant spiders again.
11
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,901
Fuck that, no way.
12
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:26,860
Not the brusher.
13
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,111
Just let us be stanky!
14
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,072
- My mound, my choice.
- Hell no.
15
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,366
I'm tired of slipping on pus
when I'm doing my Tae Bo.
16
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,200
Bend over.
17
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,576
Jesse, hold this bag
18
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,245
and collect all the dribblings
and the sprays.
19
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,330
- Ecch! It's gonna get on me.
- Be proud.
20
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,831
'Tis one of the great Shlorpian honors
21
00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,250
to hold the mound gunk satchel.
22
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,544
I'll never forgive you for this, Korvo!
I hate you!
23
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,711
[brush whirring]
24
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,257
[Yumyulack laughing]
[Jesse gagging]
25
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,425
Woo-hoo! It tickles.
It tickles.
26
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,135
- Do, do, do, do, do, do.
- Ugh.
27
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,053
Get it all, Jesse!
28
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,013
We can pour it in molds
and make our own gummy bears.
29
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,890
TERRY: Ooh, are we getting
our mounds expressed?
30
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,724
Me next, me next!
31
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,476
Alright, Terry, you can be next,
32
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,103
just drop your pants and let's see--
33
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:01,937
[Korvo screams]
34
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,856
- [Yumyulack gasps]
- Jesus Jessica Parker.
35
00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:06,191
- TERRY: What?
- Terry, you have a human penis!
36
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,234
And you're human!
37
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,903
I'm, I'm a human
38
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,156
and I've got a slightly
above average human penis!
39
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,366
[Korvo, Yumyulack, and Jesse scream]
40
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,786
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
41
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,788
until the asteroid hit.
42
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,875
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa,
43
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,043
and escaped into the... space,
44
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,504
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
45
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,755
We crashed on Earth,
46
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,049
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
47
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,634
That's right, I've been talking
this whole time.
48
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:33,886
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
49
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,554
My name is Korvo.
This is my show.
50
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,889
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
51
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,932
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth.
52
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,017
It's a horrible home.
53
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,643
People are stupid and confusing.
54
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:44,605
Why do they always say what happens
in Vegas stays in Vegas,
55
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,148
but then they never freeze time there.
56
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,316
If you're gonna cheat on your wife,
57
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,401
have the dignity to use
a chrononullifier,
58
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,653
Anthony K. Delgado Jr.!
59
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,781
♪ dramatic music ♪
60
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,369
Wow. You gotta touch these ears.
61
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,413
I can't believe I got a penis
and a nose and a dick
62
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,290
and a head full of hair
and a schlong.
63
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,167
Jeepers. I can't believe
you're actually human.
64
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,460
This is so cool.
65
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,170
Oh, my gosh.
Do you have a butt hole?
66
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,254
I don't know. You tell me.
67
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:10,881
[Jesse and Yumyulack cheering]
68
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174
- He's got a butt hole.
- He's got a butt hole.
69
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:13,217
- He's got a butt hole!
- He's got a butt hole!
70
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:14,968
Oh, what kind of stuff
should I put in it?
71
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,303
Ooh, give me that gunk wand!
72
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,639
Nuh-uh. Nobody's putting
anything in Terry's butt hole.
73
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,682
Except me.
After we figure out how this happened.
74
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,227
Oh, come on. You never let me
put anything in anything.
75
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,102
[machine whirring]
76
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,979
Damn it. It's just as I feared.
77
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,147
Terry's body transformation is
78
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,233
a natural Shlorpian reaction
to being on the planet
79
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:31,235
for too long without the Pupa
terraforming it.
80
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,319
What does that have to do with it?
81
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,279
His physical form has adapted
to better assimilate
82
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,989
among the planet's dominant species.
83
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,449
Blade? Am I a Daywalker?
84
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:38,450
No! Humans!
85
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,410
How come it happened to Terry first?
86
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,329
Because he's weak-minded
and succumbed to the temptations
87
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,331
of human culture long before you two did.
88
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,249
That's me, baby.
89
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,334
Succumbin' to the temp-tache
of the cultch.
90
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,044
Will me and Jesse turn human too?
91
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,922
Of course! You two have succumbed
to popular culture as much as Terry.
92
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,508
Jesse with boy-toyin'
and Yumyulack with your tea-bagging.
93
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,343
At least we'll be humans together.
94
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,428
Ha! I will remain
a perfect shade of blue
95
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,639
because I haven't succumbed
to a single temp-tache.
96
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,766
I'm Shlorpian ride or die. No cap.
97
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,560
Is it too late to do anything about it?
98
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,854
The transformation takes six months
to become permanent.
99
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,439
It's like when you're making panna cotta,
the cream has to set.
100
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,900
I hate when Korvo
compares things to panna cotta.
101
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,403
The Book of Boba Fett
versus Alien vs. Predator
102
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,696
is nothing like panna cotta.
103
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,990
Well, I guess we just kick back
and enjoy watching me
104
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,576
get snackier and drippier by the day!
105
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,702
Now, if you excuse me,
106
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,246
I'm gonna go to Cos' and get linen pants.
107
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,873
No, it's too dangerous to wait.
108
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,916
Being Shlorpian is who we are,
and we can't lose that.
109
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,293
We must leave Earth immediately.
110
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,919
Being in outer space
will cause you to revert
111
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:31,879
to your natural form.
112
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,839
But, but, but what about
the Sprinkle Museum?
113
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,091
They just disinfected
from the meningitis.
114
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,968
No! There'll be
no sprinkle selfies today.
115
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,094
Everyone to the ship!
116
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:40,929
Where the fuck's my ship?
117
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,142
Hold on, does this mean the ship
can actually be flown around?
118
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,227
I thought it was broken.
That's kind of a big deal, you know?
119
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,146
[sighs] The ship has worked
since last year
120
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,105
when I turned into goo.
121
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,191
I didn't tell you because
everyone was having such a good time
122
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,066
as a team here on Earth.
123
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,359
Aww, that's so sweet.
124
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,485
Being sweet was wrong!
125
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,612
I should have stayed harsh.
126
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,822
Oh, my God, I can't believe
you guys didn't know
127
00:03:58,822 --> 00:03:59,781
the ship works.
128
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,117
I take it out every Sunday
when Korvo isn't watching.
129
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:02,993
What? How?
130
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,579
You can't even use the transmogrifier
without burning your hands.
131
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,664
You made me read the manual,
like, a hundred times
132
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:08,790
under threat of death!
133
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,791
Fuck, that's right.
134
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,293
Okay, fine,
well, where is it then?
135
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,961
Um, I recently borrowed it
136
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,881
for one of my iconic Friday through Sunday
"Terry Freak-ends."
137
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,050
Dang, this new human brain
runs hot and slow.
138
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,885
Havin' a hard time
remembering the deets.
139
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,803
Do you really not remember
or are you just saying
140
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,347
you don't remember because you wanna stall
141
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:25,474
and do shit in your human body
before we leave.
142
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,100
- A little bit of both.
- Terrald!
143
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,353
Look, I just wanna experience
what being human's like.
144
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,687
Anyway, I'll be back. Byeeeee!
145
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,439
Terry, get back here,
we have to find the ship!
146
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,273
Oh!
147
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,150
Fucking spiders! Damn it!
148
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,236
Okay, our only course of action
is to blow the horn
149
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:40,030
that calls giant monsters out of the sea
and use them to hunt down Terry
150
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,782
and force him to tell us
where the ship is.
151
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,116
It'll cause devastating earthquakes
152
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,536
and most of us won't survive,
but it's our only option left.
153
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,787
[spider screeches]
[Korvo gasps]
154
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,704
Shit!
155
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,541
YUMYULACK: I don't know what
you're so worried about.
156
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:51,834
Every time Terry runs away,
157
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,127
you know he comes crawling back
when he realizes
158
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,963
this is where
all his action figures are stored.
159
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,131
Usually, he hasn't lost
the ship full of all the stuff
160
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,049
that makes me awesome.
161
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,008
JESSE:
Guys, guys, guys.
162
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,469
I found Terry's
Veronica's Closet lunchbox.
163
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,512
Maybe there's something
in these treasures
164
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,305
that could tell us where he went.
165
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,974
Phoenix feather,
that bullet you guys bought,
166
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:07,850
a witch's finger.
167
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,478
Oh! A roll of 35-millimeter film
marked "freak-end."
168
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,522
To the dark room.
Yes! Woo!
169
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,399
[groans]
I'll be there in a minute.
170
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,442
Keep sucking, get all around the rim.
171
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:21,822
♪ suspenseful music ♪
172
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,699
♪
173
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,076
Look, Terry went to MTV's Spring Break:
Running of the Bulls.
174
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,619
The ship must still be in Pamplona.
175
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,162
Tight! I'll get the hover platform.
176
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,164
It's on the ship
along with all the other stuff
177
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,875
that makes our lives
so easy breezy.
178
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,252
So how on God's green earth
are we getting to Spain?
179
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,461
An airplane?
180
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,255
No, we're still trying
to get off the no-fly list
181
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,215
for that time Terry tried
to join the Mile High Club
182
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,383
by himself in the aisle.
183
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,094
Luckily, Mr. Awesome Genius
foresaw this possibility
184
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,762
and constructed a secret backup vehicle
185
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,181
and stored it in an underground bunker
186
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,348
in the backyard a year ago.
187
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,142
Now all we need to do
is buy some shovels.
188
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,894
I guess Mr. Awesome Genius
didn't think
189
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,478
to leave himself a tunnel.
190
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,356
I think you like an excuse
to go to the hardware store.
191
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,316
I do not.
192
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,152
Hey, Dale, how's that shed going?
193
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,486
Get that hinge on.
194
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,988
Maurice! Upgrading the old pergola!
195
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,448
That's gonna be peaceful as fuck.
196
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,909
[singing] ♪ Having some fun
at the hardware store ♪
197
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,328
♪ Saws and paints
and so much more ♪
198
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,956
This would be a lot faster
if we had the shovel ray.
199
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,708
Well, thanks to Terry, we don't.
200
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,419
God knows what that selfish fuck
is up to right now.
201
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,462
♪ sensual music ♪
202
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:21,715
[Terry laughing]
203
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,342
Oh.
204
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:25,135
♪ sensual music ♪
205
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,137
Damn, you're human as fuck.
206
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,056
Thank you.
You wanna see my human penis?
207
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,224
Fuck yeah. Whip it out.
208
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,559
[shovels scraping]
209
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,562
Okay. This should be it.
My secret vehicle.
210
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,441
Oh, no, the robots from season one.
211
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,652
Shut the door before they talk
or we'll have to pay em'!
212
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,070
[mechanical whirring]
[door clangs]
213
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,155
Okay, here we go, this is it.
214
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:48,534
[mechanical whirring]
215
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,827
Behold the Hammerhead 2.
216
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,412
What was the "Hammerhead 1"?
217
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,081
I just put a "2" at the end
of this because I thought
218
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,290
it sounded more kickass.
219
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,375
Hammerhead 2!
220
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,002
YUMYULACK/JESSE:
Hammerhead 2! Hammerhead 2!
221
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,047
It's got an advanced design
I cribbed from a He-Man toy
222
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,049
that can traverse any environment.
223
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,050
Let's go!
224
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,552
HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER:
What's up, buddies?
225
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,971
Welcome aboard
the Hammerhead Dos!
226
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,014
Call me the Weasel.
227
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,307
Yowwww!
228
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,684
Is it on Pauly Shore mode?
229
00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,394
That's gonna get annoying fast.
230
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,812
It's just what
a computer voice sounds like
231
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,064
if it's been buried
and forgotten for a year.
232
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,941
HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER:
Pam-pa-lone-a!
233
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,276
Sweet, buddy.
234
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,820
Estimated arrival: 14 days.
235
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:25,654
YUMYULACK/JESSE:
Aww.
236
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,906
Those times always drop
once you get on the road.
237
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:31,201
[mechanical whirring]
238
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,203
♪ upbeat music ♪
239
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,497
[crowd cheering]
240
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,332
[bull bellows]
[man screams]
241
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,878
Stupid fucking GPS.
That took forever.
242
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,713
I don't know,
seems like we made good time
243
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:45,507
considering we had to sidewind
across the ocean floor.
244
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,676
Look around for any sign
of the ship or Terry.
245
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,803
That's one of Terry's stupid shirts!
246
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,722
Hey, lady,
where'd you get your t-shirt?
247
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,515
This old-ass alien gave it to me
for showing him
248
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,267
how to do winged eyeliner.
249
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,144
- Did he have a ship?
- Yep.
250
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,061
Did you fuck him?
251
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,521
I totally would have,
252
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,566
but he said he was in love
with some guy named Crumbo.
253
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,234
Who the shit is Crumbo?
254
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,068
Korvo.
255
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,653
Oh. Right. 'Cause I love crumbs.
256
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,905
Well, what did he do with the ship?
257
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,615
I don't know, last I heard,
258
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:12,784
he and the amateur circus
were gonna fly it to Burning Man.
259
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,786
That flaming gentleman
must be where the ship is!
260
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,830
Solars-minus-Terry, rollout!
261
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,208
Set course for Nevada!
262
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,001
HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER:
Oh, bummer, buddy.
263
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,836
Due to mucho heavy headwinds,
264
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,254
arrival time is:
265
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,089
16 days.
266
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:26,924
Come on!
267
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,886
Ah, shoot, I'm doing a glow!
268
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,638
♪ angelic vocalizing ♪
269
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:38,477
Guys, guys! I'm a human!
And I gots boobs!
270
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,522
Let me touch 'em! Uh, I-I-I mean,
who cares, humans are lame.
271
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:42,898
Shit. I told you this would happen.
272
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,358
We just have to keep looking for the ship.
273
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,400
Don't panic, stay on course.
274
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,819
Panic? Look at me!
275
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,906
I'm young, hot, and ready
to sign up for a student loan!
276
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,115
Don't you pull a Terry!
277
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,618
I wanna experience
the uniquely human activities
278
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,119
I've always dreamed about,
279
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,913
like waiting in line at the DMV,
280
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,706
paying taxes,
and having jury duty!
281
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,250
That's what you've always wanted?
282
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:04,503
Aliens never get to do all
the boring, mundane human stuff.
283
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:07,089
I gotta skedaddle! Toodle-oo!
284
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,841
Fucking goddammit!
[sighs]
285
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:10,467
I guess it's just you and me, Yumyulack.
286
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,593
The original bad boys.
287
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,011
Hammerhead 2, get us out of here
288
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,346
and this time avoid highways.
289
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:16,056
HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER:
New route locked in.
290
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,808
Updated arrival time:
291
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,184
20 days.
[men grunt]
292
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,018
Son of a bitch!
293
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,562
HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER:
Ow, ow!
294
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,566
♪ upbeat energetic music ♪
295
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,488
It's official, people.
The man is burnt!
296
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:34,074
WICKER MAN:
Oh, please, release me.
297
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,034
Let me go back to my home world.
298
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,995
Have I not suffered enough?
299
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,997
Oh, thank you, kind s--
[gunshot]
300
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,458
I can't believe
Terry and Jesse bailed on us.
301
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,128
Thank you for remaining dedicated
to the mission, Yumyulack.
302
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,963
You are now officially the good replicant.
303
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,507
Sure, whatever.
Check out what Jesse's been up to.
304
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,092
JESSE [on phone]:
What is up to my followers!
305
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,928
J-So here at the Social
Security Administration,
306
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,681
finally getting my very own
Social Security Number.
307
00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,184
Bwaaap bwaaap!
Bweep bweep bweep bweep!
308
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:03,604
Heck yeah! 987-65-4322! That's me!
309
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,438
Ooh ooh ohh!
310
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:05,480
Ignore her base humanity,
311
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,566
just be alert for any signs of the ship.
Ugh!
312
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:11,153
That hasheesh man is living
in part of my stardrive!
313
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,572
Drug addict. Where did you get this?
314
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,617
Aw, man.
This alien dude traded it to me
315
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,327
for a jar of clean piss,
316
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,704
which he drank without sharing.
317
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,247
- Clean piss. Lucky!
- Yup, that's Terry.
318
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,666
That dude was weird.
319
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,127
I don't know if he's
gonna make it to Vegas.
320
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:27,961
Las Vegas?
321
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,796
But he swore he would never go back
after he didn't make
322
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,799
the cast of Brah,
The Blink 182 Cirque du Soleil show.
323
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,720
Dude, he was ranting about
something called Sabacc.
324
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:37,638
What the hell is that?
325
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,640
It's a fictional card game
he saw in a movie.
326
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,517
Terry only likes to play games
with deep ties
327
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,559
to cannon and lore.
328
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,103
Why does he have to be
so fucking extra about everything?
329
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,356
Terry's always bragging
about how good he is at Sabacc.
330
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,942
If casinos are cashing in
on the ascension of nerd culture,
331
00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:53,111
he'd be attracted to the gaming tables
like an owl to a bat
332
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,404
to a moth to a flame!
333
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,322
A casino!
334
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,574
Yumyulack, help me hitch
the recombulator to the Hammerhead.
335
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,952
Sorry, hippie. We're taking
this sweet piece of sci-fi back.
336
00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,161
Sure thing, brah.
337
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,121
I should get back to my old life anyway,
338
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,250
solving crimes using
my heightened sense of smell.
339
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,921
Yumyulack! How long have you had
that human leg meat?
340
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,756
Oh, man. Just a few days.
341
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,925
I didn't say anything because
I thought you'd cut them off.
342
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,927
I wasn't going to do that,
but it's a good idea.
343
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,136
Give me those fucking legs!
344
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,555
- [Yumyulack screaming]
- Whoa!
345
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,349
Fuck! I knew we gave you
too many Lunchables
346
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,183
and Xbox Live.
347
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,811
Whoa. I'm a human, and I've got
one, two, three, four, five, six--
348
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,229
[gasps] several pubes.
349
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:29,439
Are you gonna run off
to do human stuff now too?
350
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,941
I won't be able to handle it if you do!
351
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,901
Um, no, of course not.
352
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,945
I'm, uh, just gonna borrow
this bike real quick.
353
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,031
Don't try to escape me
on that old-timey bicycle!
354
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,409
Hammerhead, pursuit course!
Maximum speed!
355
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,619
[mechanical whirring]
356
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:44,121
[ropes snap]
357
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:49,376
Shit! Stupid slow-ass Hammerhead 2.
358
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,588
HAMMERHEAD COMPUTER:
Hey, buddy, when are we gonna
wheeze the juice?
359
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:54,089
We are never wheezing any liquid!
360
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,966
Aim at Vegas, full Hammer ahead.
361
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:59,845
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
362
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,600
Was there a guy
named Terry here recently?
363
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,394
Ye tall. Green. Good-looking.
Probably eating gum?
364
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,021
Yeah, I remember that fuckin' guy.
365
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:11,607
He paid for his
Vegas Vegas Memories DVD
366
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:12,733
and never picked it up.
367
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,818
Let's transition wipe to my office.
368
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:17,946
TERRY:
Where's the fictional game room?
369
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,073
I want to play Sabacc and Gwent, bitch!
[girls cries]
370
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,950
Jesus. Fast forward through this.
371
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:23,702
What the--
372
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:26,288
These freaks all look like they win
fictional card games for a living.
373
00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:27,331
What was Terry thinking?
374
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:28,957
Pfft, easy mode.
375
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,293
This is exactly like it was in the Solo.
376
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,879
I call and raise you
377
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,089
an actual spaceship!
378
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,050
He bet the ship? How was his hand?
379
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,677
He had five crescent moons
and a fist of swords.
380
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,012
What the hell does that mean?
381
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,389
I don't fucking know. It's bad, I think.
382
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,600
We change the rules
on these nerd games on the fly
383
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,518
all the time.
384
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,145
Holy fuck!
385
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,523
Well, at least nobody will ever see this.
386
00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:53,690
I want that ship back!
387
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,027
Return it now or I will mercilessly
lay waste to this entire casino.
388
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,488
Sorry, sir, this vehicle
is now the property
389
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,365
of the Vegas Vegas corporation,
390
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:02,783
and you need to fuckin' leave.
391
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:03,784
Prim this guest.
392
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:04,952
What the hell? Stop it.
393
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,411
Why are you shoving me
into a cement mixer?
394
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,456
[Korvo screaming]
395
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,961
I can't see! I can't see!
396
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:16,129
Okay, now I can see.
397
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,049
Goddammit, I can't believe my team
has left me to do this by myself.
398
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,634
I really hope they're all miserable.
399
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,596
Drugs are so much better
when they actually get you high!
400
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,056
[yelling]
401
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:27,599
Has the jury reached a verdict?
402
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,017
We haven't, Your Honor.
403
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,854
Looks like we need to be sequestered!
404
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,480
Out of the way, normal kid.
405
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,315
We're about to bully
that left-handed kid.
406
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,150
He's now the weirdest kid at school!
407
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,278
I'm not weird! Ha, ha!
408
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,989
[thunder rumbling]
409
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:45,325
Fuck, nobody said
this was stacked parking!
410
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,370
The Hammerhead isn't designed to traverse
tightly packed spaces!
411
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:52,040
Hello? Can someone please move
these gambling addicts' cars?
412
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,083
Hello?
413
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,377
How? How has it come to this?
414
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:56,962
[thunder rumbling]
415
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,591
A nose? No! No, no, no!
416
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,469
Ears? Shit!
I don't want to be a fucking human!
417
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,680
Noooooo!
418
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,935
♪ suspenseful music ♪
419
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:22,696
♪
420
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:28,202
Sorry I'm late.
I had a court date.
421
00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:29,953
I heard about you getting arrested
for calling that judge
422
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,331
"a bitch, a whole bitch,
and nothing but a bitch."
423
00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:35,000
She couldn't handle me requesting
a "motion to dismiss"
424
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,836
for the reasons that
she "sucked fat shit."
425
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:40,130
Now I gotta wear this everywhere.
426
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,966
Plus, I'm in a buttload of debt
because people keep using
427
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,761
my Social Security Number
to take out loans.
428
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:47,221
Things haven't gone well for me either.
429
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,139
Everyone at school ignores me
now that I'm human.
430
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,475
At least when I was a bullied alien,
I was being noticed.
431
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,353
[sighs]
This being human stuff is the pits.
432
00:14:54,353 --> 00:14:56,146
I tried changing my name
to "Baxter Cool"
433
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:57,523
to stand out, but then I found out
434
00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,650
there's already a kid
named "Baxter Badass."
435
00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,735
So now everyone at school
just calls me Baxter C.
436
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,112
Holy geez. Is that Terry?
437
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,032
[flies buzzing]
438
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,243
Jesse, Yumyulack,
it's great to see you!
439
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,119
Oh, my gosh.
440
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,496
What the hell happened to you?
441
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,456
Waddaya mean? I've been thriving.
442
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,917
[hacking cough]
443
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,503
[groans]
Oh, cripes, the wound's open again.
444
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,880
I need to get fresh rags,
but, uh, other than that,
445
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:22,881
things are good.
446
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:23,715
Yeah.
447
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:24,800
Terry.
448
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,302
Okay, fine, the last four
and a half months have been hell!
449
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,763
I didn't know the shit humans do
to their bodies was permanent.
450
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,932
My penis ring's been infected
a half dozen times
451
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,183
and I'm addicted to crack!
452
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,893
I didn't even know you could get addicted.
453
00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:36,395
I just love the minty flavor.
454
00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:38,689
Turning human was
the worst mistake of our lives.
455
00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:40,482
We should never have bailed on Korvo.
456
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:41,859
Then it's settled.
457
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,861
We're going home and undoing all of this!
458
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,153
But isn't Korvo mad at us?
459
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:45,988
Are you kidding?
460
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,156
He's gonna goosh his robes
when we come walking up.
461
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,742
Just imagine how lonely and depressed
he's been without us.
462
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,536
Just him and the Pupa
in that big house,
463
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,037
sitting around and doing jack shit?
464
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,874
Poor Korvo.
I hope he somehow held it together.
465
00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:00,794
TERRY:
What the hell? Where's the ship?
466
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,212
YUMYULACK:
He never got it back!
467
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,339
JESSE:
Uh, guys, what's with all the dogs?
468
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,884
[dogs barking]
469
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:08,343
Ahh!
470
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,679
Okay, what the fuck is going on here?
471
00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,681
Hey! No humans allowed.
472
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,308
How many times do I gotta say it?
473
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:16,226
This is a brothel for dogs.
474
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,395
Opening a dog brothel's
been my dream for years
475
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,563
and the Pupa stole it?
476
00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:20,564
Fuck you, Pupa!
477
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:21,565
[spider screeches]
[man yelps]
478
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:25,027
We can't be humans anymore!
We gotta get off this planet!
479
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,821
Please, Pupa, if you care
about this family at all,
480
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,781
tell us where is Korvo?
481
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,703
♪ upbeat dance music playing ♪
482
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:38,665
Whoa, what is this place?
483
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,459
The Smokeshow House,
484
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,252
the ultimate club for the sexiest,
485
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,838
most boner-generating people alive.
486
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,215
I believe you're describing me!
487
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,594
What the hell's Korvo doing
in a place like this?
488
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:53,388
Maybe he turned human
and he's like a busboy or something?
489
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,390
Maybe the cool people
take shits on him for fun.
490
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,767
I heard that's what they do to losers.
491
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,393
it's never happened to me, heh.
492
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:01,522
Well, well, well, my old alien family!
493
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,981
What a surprise.
494
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,191
Korvo?
[glass shatters]
495
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,986
You've turned into the most
gorgeous human I've ever seen!
496
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,071
Not bad, right?
497
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,656
It's been a good few months.
498
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:12,574
Allow me to introduce
some of my new friends.
499
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,576
Brad Pitt, regular Michael B. Jordan,
500
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,995
and jacked Kumail Nanjiani.
501
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,122
I assume you're here
to say "I told you so"
502
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,958
because being a human is awesome.
503
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:23,418
No, we thought you would tell us so.
504
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,754
I cannot.
It was you who told me so.
505
00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:28,549
Korvo, the six-month
panna cotta period is almost up.
506
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,676
We gotta leave Earth A-S-A-mmediately
507
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,386
if we ever wanna be Shlorpians again.
508
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:34,680
Good. I don't want to be Shlorpian.
509
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,514
JESSE/YUMYULACK/TERRY:
What?
510
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,849
My life's great now.
511
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:39,476
I'm the new face of Edible Dude Wipes
For Her For him.
512
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,562
People finally respect me for what counts,
513
00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:43,397
my symmetrical ass and dick dimples,
514
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:45,399
not the stupid content of my character!
515
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:48,652
But you said
"being Shlorpian is who we are."
516
00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:50,445
Well, if I did, that was stupid.
517
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:53,073
Being proud of who you are deep down
on the inside is cringe.
518
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,618
Yo, K. These AmazonBasics-looking
motherfuckers bugging you?
519
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,829
It's fine, Momoa.
They were just leaving.
520
00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:01,456
Leo, slurp Patrón off my five-pack.
521
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,584
Korvo's lost his marbles
and replaced them
522
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:05,544
with new, fine-as-hell marbles!
523
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:06,420
[sighs]
524
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,255
Holy shit, what a snack.
525
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,425
If I was that hot,
I would never ever look back at my family!
526
00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:13,343
Man, I've lost the second love of my life,
527
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,596
right behind Pizza Hut
Stuffed Crust Pizza.
528
00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:19,016
Wait. We might not be aliens
and we might not be beautiful,
529
00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:21,268
but we have what counts in here.
530
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,187
Like what, our integrity?
531
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:26,148
No. Blood. We're full of blood!
532
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,774
[slurping]
533
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,985
What the fuck?
534
00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,154
This little bitch just
sprayed me with blood!
535
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:34,406
Yeah, and I'm fucking full to the brim!
536
00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:35,949
[all screaming]
537
00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,660
Michael B. Jordan
be covered in B, I mean blood!
538
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,204
Ahh!
[grunts]
539
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:41,330
[screams]
540
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,707
- Yeah!
- Ha, ha! Suckers!
541
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:46,251
Stop spraying my hot friends
with your ugly blood!
542
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,920
Oh, God, It's reverting me back
543
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,756
to what I looked like before I sold
my soul to that witch!
544
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:53,133
No! No! Oh, God!
545
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:54,927
[groans]
546
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:56,929
Our unattractive blood is so potent,
547
00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:59,765
it's melting the hotness
right off these himbos!
548
00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:02,059
Is it working?
549
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,519
It's getting hard to see.
550
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,395
Don't we need to hang on
to some of this blood?
551
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,731
No, that's a myth!
Bones make blood.
552
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:08,565
[groans]
[thuds]
553
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:11,235
Ahhhh!
554
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:12,528
Ah!
555
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:16,782
Whoa! Keep your ugly blood away
from my beautiful body!
556
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,034
You can have Nanjiani!
557
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,124
Oh, no! He's getting away!
558
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,418
But damn, do I like to watch him go.
559
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:30,337
Hold on, guys,
I need to eat this cookie.
560
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,089
I sprayed too much blood.
561
00:19:32,089 --> 00:19:33,382
No time. Jump!
562
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:37,302
♪ dramatic music ♪
563
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,887
♪
564
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,472
Ah!
565
00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,140
Protect me, my Aussie hunks!
566
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,934
It's the Hemsworth brothers!
567
00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:45,769
They even brought the weird one!
568
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,980
Shit, I'm out of blood!
569
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,690
[all scream]
TERRY: Stand back.
570
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,152
[screams]
Gah-gah-gah-gah,
571
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,239
I smoke what I smoke
and that's all that I smoke!
572
00:20:00,701 --> 00:20:01,785
[Hemsworth brothers screaming]
573
00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:04,371
It's official,
crack isn't whack, baby!
574
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,205
JESSE:
Yeah!
575
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:06,999
Oh, shit, crack fire!
576
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:11,378
This blimp is soaked in Drakkar Noir
by Guy La Roche,
577
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,964
one of the most flammable substances
in the galaxy.
578
00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:17,134
It's gonna go off
like a Molotov cockring!
579
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,306
TERRY:
There's nowhere else to go, Korvo!
580
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:24,349
This hot guy blimp is about to blow!
581
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,726
Take my hand!
582
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:26,768
Agh! So ugly!
583
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:29,897
I'd rather die a Chad
than go back to being a simp.
584
00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:30,939
[explosion booms]
Ahh!
585
00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:35,444
Aww, jeez! We're all gonna die
as humans!
586
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:37,279
[spaceship whooshing]
587
00:20:39,865 --> 00:20:40,699
Pupa!
588
00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,827
Korvo, you stupid ass!
589
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:44,745
Come with us!
590
00:20:44,745 --> 00:20:46,163
No, I won't go back!
591
00:20:46,163 --> 00:20:46,997
[explosion booms]
Ahh!
592
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,209
Look, Korvo, it's someone casting
for The Bachelor!
593
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:51,043
Really?
594
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:52,794
[screams]
595
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,172
[all screaming]
596
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:58,634
AISHA, get us off this planet!
597
00:20:58,634 --> 00:20:59,718
AISHA:
You got it, dummy.
598
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:01,470
No! I finally fit in!
599
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:02,554
[explosion booms]
600
00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:03,555
[spaceship whooshes]
601
00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:07,726
♪
602
00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:10,229
Wow, I guess the Pupa used the profits
603
00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:12,981
from his dog brothel to buy
the ship back from the casino.
604
00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:14,983
God bless you, you green blob!
605
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,360
I'm getting tired.
606
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:18,987
Hey, you're not still upset
that we killed a bunch
607
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:21,532
of your hot celeb friends
30 seconds ago, are you?
608
00:21:21,532 --> 00:21:23,784
Yes, I'm still upset!
I had the perfect life.
609
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:26,411
Korvo, I know you liked
being a sexy human,
610
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:27,704
but this is for the best.
611
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:31,542
We need to get back
our regular bodies, it's who we are.
612
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:33,669
And now that we've seen
how fucked up humans are,
613
00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:36,547
we're rededicated to the mission,
just like you always wanted.
614
00:21:36,547 --> 00:21:38,549
I... I do like that.
615
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:40,926
Plus, you're like our hot leader now.
616
00:21:40,926 --> 00:21:42,261
And hot leaders are the best.
617
00:21:42,261 --> 00:21:44,513
It's true.
I'm sorry for how I acted.
618
00:21:44,513 --> 00:21:47,432
I clearly had "hot guy brain"
and it was making me crazy.
619
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,977
Now that we're back on the ship,
I am glad you rescued me.
620
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:54,064
I know exactly what to do.
621
00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:56,650
We'll go live on another planet
for a bit until we revert back
622
00:21:56,650 --> 00:21:58,360
to our old Shlorpian bodies.
623
00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:02,990
♪
624
00:22:07,703 --> 00:22:10,038
It'll be a nice change of pace
to live on a world
625
00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:12,791
where we aren't being treated like
a bunch of freaky aliens.
626
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,043
[crashes]
627
00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:18,463
[vehicle approaching]
628
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:22,759
Go back to your own planet,
you filthy fucking humans!
629
00:22:23,719 --> 00:22:25,095
Fuck you, I hate this planet!
630
00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:26,555
You people are stupid and confusing.
631
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:27,723
Aw cripes.
632
00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:32,728
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
633
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,602
[mimicking laser fire]
47859
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
