Original subtitles

♪ If. The. Wolf. Was. There.* ♪ * "WOLF ARE YOU THERE? FRENCH

♪ He. Would. Eat. Us- ♪ NURSERY RHYME/GAME.

Stop! "Stop"! That's my car!

"Stop," Gendarmerie! "STOP"!

DESPERATELY

It's mine!

Gendarmerie-- out of my car! - But this is my car.

- Huh? - Well, yes.

- Is that so?

SNIFFING

78? Mine is 59-62! - I know.

- This is your last warning: clear off!

Thief!

THE WAR TO END ALL WARS

WAGNER: Your coffee's good, vivandiere!* * WOMAN CANTEEN KEEPER

LUCIE: Thank my vivandier* instead. * LITERALLY, VIVANDIERE'S HUSBAND.

- Come on everyone, set up! Can't keep the enemy waiting!

SENTRY: Stop!

- Let him go,\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h he's one of ours.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

- Colonel, the French think we're in the middle of a rout, they're coming.

- Perfect. Gentlemen, everyone take up positions!

PLAYER: Cover the left!

DISTANT CROSSTALK

With me!

We're going! - Hurry!

STAN: Here dad, your food. - Put on your outfit!

- I'm filming your last battle.

- My last battle? No. It was you who decreed that!

- No, you promised. You're in dire straits!

- No need to teach me the lesson again, son.

OSCAR: So, Stan? You're gonna take beautiful pictures of us, huh?

- Yeah.

He likes to wait.

Baron, here they are.

Gentlemen... (get ready!)

(May god keep you!)

FIRE!

PAUL: RETURN FIRE!

Hold your fire!

General, listen to me!

- Why would I, Baron?

- Let's call a ceasefire. We are alike... All this butchery is useless.

- Is this a trap?

- General, we are people of honor.

Let us settle the matter between us.

If I win, your soldiers will surrender themselves as prisoners.

- Alternatively?

- My men will surrender their weapons.

Well done!

- Come on Baron, get up!

Wagner's good! Always overdoes it!

Come on, hup!

OSCAR: Fuck! Let me do it!

Call for help! Philippe?

- Hello?

It's for a gunshot wound.

- No!

What- what happened here? What the hell?!

PAUL: I don't understand. STAN: Dad, say something!

I fired, as always.

HONKS

MARLEAU: Where's the stiff?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCaptain!\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHi!

Well, god almighty...

It's not menopause.

Hey-ah!

Hello Captain. It's me who asked for you.

- Oscar, my favorite hibernator.

Nice look! What is this mess, have the Russians landed?

- No, we reenact imperial battles.

- Yeah, really fun. Go to Ukraine, you'll see how fun war is.

You're really a fan of mortitude.

- Except no one really dies, usually.

- Good point.

OSCAR: Philippe Wagner, the organizer.

MARLEAU: "From the heights of this"--corpse--

"40 centuries look down upon you."* * A PLAY ON A NAPOLEON QUOTE

- 40 minutes, rather. - That's true.

And who is it who killed him?

RESIGNEDLY - The killer.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCaptain.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCaptain.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHow's it going?

Hey! Vignelli!

You OK, counselor?

So you're the suspect today!

We'll find you a lawyer as good as you.

You'll be the one behind bars, counselor!

- Your irony is inappropriate, Capt. Marleau-

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDUMEL: Sir, please!

- A man has just died because of me.

And he was my friend.

MARLEAU: 'These things happen,' huh?

These are human things.

So it was you who shot?

- Yes, I fired.

We shoot blanks, the guns are empty.

- Leave us, please.

So where did the gun come from?

- It belonged to Wagner, I picked it up at the duel.

Oh.

Is that your strong defense?

Well, god almighty, how the mighty have fallen.

You were able to put a bullet in the barrel, secretly.

And then, presto! Smoking gun!

- Why would I kill him? - Good question, 'why would you kill him'?

- In front of witnesses!

- You love having witnesses! The public, the cameras!

If you had a wife she'd be upset.

- Are you settling accounts with me?

- Do we have a joint account? Right.

I just know that you have a gift for muddying the waters,

and then we accuse you later.

- Whatever; Wagner's son filmed it all, go check it out for yourself!

What exactly are you looking for?

- I don't know. An explanation.

Gendarmerie, Capt. Marleau.

Are you Wagner Jr? - Yes.

- Condolences. We'll try to clear up what happened to your father.

- Thank you.

- Who are you?

- Lucie, Lucie Meyer. I was playing a "vivandiere."

- Ah, okay: girls get the pots and pans, the guys the puppet show.

So you didn't have a gun.

- No. - No.

- I'll leave you.

MARLEAU: It seems you filmed the duel. STAN: Yes,

go ahead, be my guest.

- I dunno what kind of stuff you have. How does it work?

Oh, yes indeed. Rotten luck, he puts in no bullets.

Thanks.

Well, all that stuff looks weird to me.

- Why? Could he have done it on purpose?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHPPT \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI don't know.

MARLEAU: Oh-

Vignelli is a friend of your father's?

- Yes, for years.

They shared a passion for the Empire,

and meeting for these rituals.

- Oh yeah? They loved playing war?

- Completely, yes. - Killing's fun, huh?

- It's stupid.

- To say the least. Any stupider and you'd be dead.

LAUGHS Sorry, excuse me.

Right, was the duel planned, on the menu of festivities?

STAN: Yes, they reenact it every year.

MARLEAU: So that means--

everyone there knew he was gonna get 'shot'?

OSCAR: Mmm!

Ah, Captain. Here is the highlight of my collection:

a replica flintlock pistol by Nicholas Boutet, a must-have of the period!

- Yeah? A must-have killing machine?

You're a real Dr. Death.

- Well?

- Uh, well, we'll do ballistics, to see if there was another killer.

- Or if it was loaded.

- If there was a bullet in the barrel you would've seen it, right?

- Let me show you- - Hey hey! None of that.

You show me. - Certainly!

First we put powder in the barrel.

MARLEAU: Like this? OSCAR: That's it.

- Putting it in the nose isn't very fast.

- They took their time back then.

- Time for friends to kill each other? CHUCKLES

You're right: if there were a bullet, I wouldn't have seen it.

- It could've been put in before.

- With no guarantee Wagner would die.

- Any guy could've come in the tent.

- Any guy or any girl. Parity!

And you could have too. We'll have to keep you to see

if your Wagnerian friendship was an operetta friendship.

- Have you had your fun? MARLEAU: Hmm?

- I would like to talk to my lawyer. - Talk to the hand!

Who's your lawyer? - It's me, of course.

- What'd I say? Here we go again:

more of your lawyer shenanigans to free the accused.

- It's a question of releasing an innocent.

- Getting on my nerves! Oooh...

- All right if I have that back? - May as well.

- Wagner was my friend, and also a client. We weren't in conflict.

- So you say.

- Absolutely nothing justifies police custody.

- If-- it's homicide by, I don't know, by negligence.

LAUGHS You take that to the prosecutor and you'll make me laugh.

- Yeah, let's release the hotshot lawyer.

But this isn't a ride on the Montpelier tram, uh?

Remain available! - Goes without saying.

And if I can help...

What annoys me is that he's not wrong.

The prosecutor would have to genuflect to him again.

- You seem to know him well. - Too. Too well.

WHINNY

Sweetie!

...

Ah! Wagner Jr.

Is there any way to see your father's tent?

- What for?

- A wild goose chase for clues, enemies of the "Grande Armee."

HE COUGHS

God almighty, he wasn't a fan of yard work, your dad.

- Or painting or DIY.

- Hey-- maybe he forgot about the bullet in the gun.

- I don't think so. He was meticulous about that.

- More than with his yard? THPPT

A playah!

Man, I thought Napoleon had a "nice apartment."

He preferred the old shacks.

- He was short of money.

- He had money problems?

STAN: He had other priorities. - What priorities?

That, that, that, all that-- all worth some bucks.

- These are very coveted objects, yes.

- By who, collectors?

They must fight among themselves, right?

- Yes, it can go all the way to court.

(Yeah?)

THPPT

- Astounding. And in those cases, who was his lawyer?

Vignelli, I bet!

- I didn't meddle too much in his stuff.

- Mmm.

- Maybe his stuff, no,

but with his little reenactments, yes!

- Yes, I loved it as a kid.

It's his show.

Things have changed since then. I was just helping him with photography, with meals.

I'm a chef in a restaurant.

- What changed?

- It took up too much of my life, I got tired of it.

If he had only known how to stop in time...

- Yeah. 'Stop in time.'

♪ As time passes, everything goes away ♪

Well, what does his auction room calendar say?

Auction room on Friday, auction room on Tuesdays,

a big auction house on Thursday--

he was crazy about auctions. When did he work?

- No, he spent 30 years with the same company, early retirement, widower...

he had free time.

- Here's another lawyer: Counselor... Hazan.

He was to see him next week.

What was that to do with? Was it sudden?

- No, I don't know.

SIREN

...

Capt. Marleau? Gendarme Dumel calling.

We were wondering where you were.

- I'm where I normally don't go and I can't leave,

I'm being a tourist. Whatever. CHUCKLES

I have something new:

Wagner had an appointment with a lawyer,

other than Vignelli.

Stan doesn't know what it was about.

- Vignelli and Wagner couldn't get along anymore?

- Yeah, maybe.

And you? What's up with you,

with the Grande Armee in disarray?

- Not much apart from withdrawing two permits.

When you're done having fun at the crime scene,

I booked you a small room at the Hotel du-

- Ah, no no no,

I'd rather have an old soldier's straw mattress.

- Oh?

- Yes, for once I can sleep at a crime scene.

Gotta go, "buona notte"!

How's it goin', bitches?

Just my luck, I'm camping with Bokassa.* * ONETIME 'EMPEROR' OF CENTRAL AFRICA

Ah!

SPITS

COURTHOUSE

PLAINTIFF COUNSEL: (You have nothing to feel bad about, don't worry.)

- My client set fire to Mr. Berthier's car. He doesn't deny it.

He was protesting peacefully,

and was a victim of unjustified police violence.

After that, it was hard to contain his rage: a luxury car taunts him;

here he is, unemployed and at the end of his benefits.

Look at him.

Neither hatred nor violence in him, but rather the distress

of one who no longer knows how to feed his children.

DOOR OPENS LOUDLY

SLAMS

He's certainly guilty: guilty of rebelling,

because above all he is the victim of a system

which grinds up those who are young and without status.

This act of revolt was in fact legitimate self-defense.

Mr Berthier owns a famous hotel.

He can afford sports cars and insurance--

and he has since been fully reimbursed. Hasn't he?

My client takes the bus when he's not on foot.

Why go after him,

when Mr Berthier cheats on his taxes and exploits migrants?

Inflicting pain and misery? CROSSTALK

He's not in court under imminent threat. He has no shame!

MARLEAU CLAPPING

Hey, maestro! You really fucked that guy, counselor!

Really let him have it!

Didn't hear too much remorse, compared to yesterday.

- I forget everything when I'm pleading. - Must be a heavy burden,

knowing your buddy died on the field of honor.

But-- it's not your fault. - You're not investigating?

- I am, I still am. And I won't leave without understanding something.

your buddy had a date with another lawyer, not with you.

How come?

- I didn't know.

- You didn't know? - No.

- Shit, did I make a mistake?

Excuse me, I didn't want to offend you.

- It takes a little more than that to offend me.

That being said: Wagner was short of money,

his collection must've cost a fortune.

He must have wanted to cut costs.

- True, you're not cheap, that must've been a speed bump.

The lawyer for the little guy and those without status!

- The rich I charge dearly, pro bono for the others.

♪ They call me the White Knight ♪

♪ I defend the little guy and fart on the big ones for free! ♪

I can understand not charging someone

who you know can't afford to pay.

So why didn't you give a discount to your friend who was in the shit?

- Knowing him, he would've felt humiliated. - (Oh.....)

PLAINTIFF COUNSEL: Vignelli!

Thank you, Article 41! - War is war.

PLAINTIFF COUNSEL: Fuck you, Vignelli.

- Disgusting!

MARLEAU: Bad vibes! What he said about your pleading--

what you said about his client isn't true?

He didn't employ undocumented migrants? That's defamation!

Ah-- except for Article 44, right?

- Forty-one: what is said in a pleading isn't defamatory.

- Oh yes. So we can smear an innocent to win a case.

THPPT I tip my hat. - Without it my client didn't have a chance.

- You have no shame. NORTHERN PATOIS

- Pardon? - Don’t act like you don’t understand!

What are you doing, why are you hiding your accent?

- I lost my accent over time.

MARLEAU: Lies like a lawyer! - Prove it!

MARLEAU: Social-traitor! MOBILE RINGS

You're lucky I'm getting a call. Who is it?

Yeah? What's new at Nerd Palace?

- Nerds, no. It's about the vivandiere.

- What vivandiere? Oh, that orphan girl? What was her name?

'Lucie Meyer,' right? - Yes, that's right.

Ten years ago her brother Antoine Meyer was convicted of rape.

Guess who her lawyer was.

Does it start with Vi and end with Gnelli?

Every time. I'll go see him.

MARLEAU: Hey!

What does 'Antoine Meyer' mean to you?

- A former client, why?

- Lucie is his sister, the vivandiere is his sister.

PAUL: I didn't know. - Is her brother out of jail?

- Not really. - What does that mean?

- It means he committed suicide in prison;

I've lived with it like a personal tragedy.

- And his butter-churning sister, why didn't she tell me anything?

- I don't know, ask her. - Why didn't I think of that.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- (I'll let you go.)

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-See you soon. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- (I'll let you go.)

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h-See you soon. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMARLEAU: Bye!

MARLEAU: Love you guys!

ELENA: Dad? PAUL: Elena!

ELENA: Are you done? - Yes, my client is free.

- And are you OK? - Yeah, it just took some persuading.

- I'm not talking about that, look:

Look at this, everyone's talking about it. DEADLY REENACTMENT

- It was an accident, Elena, a terrible accident.

- Why is there an investigation? - It's normal procedure.

- Someone got killed during the wargame, I'm not accusing him.

- Where are you off to? - Your place.

PAUL: And your mother? - We'll call her.

- You sure? ELENA: Don't you want to?

- This isn't the right time. ELENA: Yes, it is exactly.

You need help?

STAN: It was everything to him. I shouldn't have gotten involved.

- He needed help-- and he agreed.

- I robbed him of his last pleasure.

- You needn't blame yourself.

- Good thing you're here. DISTANT BELL

MARLEAU: Hello, it's the Gendarmes!

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- You- what we said.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Yes, count on me. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- You- what we said.

MARLEAU: Ah!

Are we disturbing you? - No, not at all; what's new?

- "Inshallah"!* * ARABIC: IF GOD WILLS

Your girlfriend not here?

- You want me to call her?

- I want to see her-- go get her please?

MARLEAU: You been a couple long?

- A month and 3 weeks to be exact.

- How many seconds? The Great Love, it seems.

- She started as a waitress at my restaurant.

- And then what? Love at first sight?

- Not right away. Why're you looking for her?

- Yes: 'why, why.'

Why is she a fan of Napoleon?

- She helped me in organizing it, that's how we got together.

She offered to play the vivandiere.

- And in the meantime crash in the tent? - Right.

She got really caught up in the playacting.

No one upstairs. - What? Hold that for me.

- What's the problem? Shit!\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

- Problem? You're gonna have one!

- What is she doing?\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

MARLEAU: Where did she go?

Where is she? HO-OH!

HONKS

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWell, well! Ha!

- Where're you going like this? Running away?

- No, I'm not running away, I had to run into the village.

- Not running away? It's a good imitation.

Want a "lift"?

Don't wanna? We'll take a little trip to the Gendarmerie, climb in.

Let's go!

- How are you? ELENA: Alright, how're you?

- Pizza tonight?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Without cheese then. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYou know I'm allergic.

- Of course. Slipped\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h my mind, sorry.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Are you really home?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Pardon me?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Hmm. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Pardon me?

- You must have liked him right?

- Who? Wagner? - Yes.

- Yes of course, but--

we don't have to talk about that tonight.

- Why not? CLOCK CHIMING

...

- Uh, I don't deserve you taking care of me.

- I don't blame you. I'm just not interesting enough.

- Why do you say that? - I don't know.

- That's really not so. Come here.

MARLEAU: Come in, make yourself at home.

Sit.

So, why were you running, what were you trying to hide from me?

- Nothing. - 'Nothing.'

Back in the day, Vignelli was your brother's lawyer.

- So what? It's a coincidence.

MARLEAU: Coincidences are rare.

What did it to you, seeing him again?

- Nothing at all; I was a kid at the time of my brother's trial.

- Your brother's trial...

And your brother...

It's him in this photo, next to Vignelli?

- Yes.

- Well, see, that lawyer, I can't blame him.

Big mouth, small arm, he only likes glamor.

It cost your brother dearly.

- Vignelli did a lot, I have nothing to criticize him for.

- Not even your brother's suicide? When were you going to tell me?!

- What does that have to do with anything? It's personal.

- It's a crime, it's called 'revenge.'

You took revenge because your brother committed hara-kiri in prison

because of him, Vignelli! - Antoine was sensitive, fragile.

- Yeah. Sensitive, fragile-

like a rapist?

There's evidence! Vignelli couldn't keep your brother out of prison.

- There was no evidence. He should never have gone to prison.

MARLEAU: Yet he was convicted.

Ah, that's what Vignelli prefers, big media reports with VIPs,

your brother was nothing to him.

- I don't understand what you're looking for, it wasn't Vignelli who was killed.

- Not necessarily.

You might've messed up, it didn't go the way you wanted.

Where were you the night before the duel?

- In the vivandiere's tent with Stan.

- Alright, and you didn't budge? - We slept.

ELENA READING: 'This guy belongs behind bars, not in the bar.'

They're beating you up.

They say you should've checked the gun before firing.

- I should have, yes.

- I don't know what to say to that.

- Let them talk. I have

confidence in the justice system.

MOBILE RINGS confidence in the justice system.

...

Hello?

- Paul? It's Helene. You there?

- I wasn't expecting you.

- How are you? - It's difficult.

- Can we see each other? - Yes.

No- later-- or rather, tomorrow. Tomorrow night.

- Okay, tomorrow. Tomorrow night, then.

- Okay, tomorrow at the auction house after closing.

- Yes, very well. We won't be distrubed.

- See you tomorrow. - See you tomorrow.

LANDLINE RINGING

MARLEAU: Come on.

...

(GERMAN) "Sit down, Mr. Wagner," (FRENCH) next to your darling.

There. Now then...

STAN: You alright? MARLEAU: Where did you spend the night

the day before the duel?

- In our tent. - With whom? With her?

STAN: Yes, obviously. - 'Obviously,' nothing obvious about it.

You spent the whole night with Lucie?

- Yes, why? - She knows Vignelli.

Did you know that? - No, not until now.

- She didn't tell you she resented him?

- What does this have to do with my father's death?

- Well, she used the duel with Vignelli

to take revenge on him.

Except this moron used the wrong gun!

- That's not true! - Yes, it's true!

When you say you spent the night with her: DRUM ROLL

You're lying! - Why would I do that?

- To protect your girlfriend. Except she didn't flirt with you

for your beautiful eyes!

- That's not right! - You know very well it is!

What you did went so well:

At first, nothing happened between you-- it's true, you told me yourself.

And then you started talking to her about daddy's historical reenactments,

and his duel with Counselor Vignelli.

She thinks, 'Jackpot!

I'm gonna bang the boy to fuck up the lawyer.'

- Is this true?

- Of course it's true.

She became the vivandiere to be able to

rig the guns and bump off Vignelli.

If you tell me you spent the whole night with her, be warned:

that is complicity in murder.

- OK. I woke up during the night, Lucie wasn't there.

After a while, I went back to sleep.

- There you go. You failed to say so before.

Would you come here, please?

Well, 7:30pm. Miss Lucie Meyer, you are now in custody.

- Stan, don't believe her. It wasn't me!

- What did Vignelli do to her? Why does she resent him?

- Just ask her.

So, what's happening?

- Please don't lock me up, my brother couldn't stand it.

- What's the matter,

are you going to hang yourself?

- Take me back to the office. I promise, I won't run away.

- Okay, first tell me what happened.

And don't treat me like I'm stupid, okay!?

- Alright.

When Stan fell asleep,

I went looking for Wagner.

I saw him come out of his tent to tour the camp.

Baron! - How is that standing guard?

Go check that no one has infiltrated! - Understood, sir!

MAN: Laurent! WHINNY

Come on, we'll take care of the horses.

Well, Corporal? Anything to report?

- Nothing to report, Baron. I'll resume.

- Very well! - Thank you.

LUCIE: When I came out, the sentry was gone.

- Lucie? Out at this hour? - I couldn't sleep.

- You aren't the only one. - It's because of the cot.

- Oh yes, these cots are period to within 10 years!

- Then he thanked me. MARLEAU: For what?

- For participating in the organizing. - And then?

- Good night.

Then I went back to bed.

It was cold.

Stan was asleep.

Yes, I wanted to kill Vignelli, but I didn't put the bullet in, I swear.

- Why not?

- Holding the gun, I realized how absurd it was.

It wasn't me any more. - Why did you change your mind?

- It was Stan.

I was living in the past, he offered me a future.

- Well, I can tell you that your future doesn't smell like roses.

- Tell him it wasn't me who put the bullet in.

- Yeah-- I will.

If I find proof.

- I couldn't have made a mistake with the pistol.

Wagner's pistol case has the Prussian coat of arms,

he bragged about it all the time.

PT: Come on Clara, five more.

Don't stop there, keep going. Hup!

Come on! Another five. Come on.

Keep going-- yes! Again! Let's keep going!

All the way! Come on!

- (She's exhausted!)

Do you want to stop?

PT: You don't have to do that. - Use a different tone with her!

CLARA: It's fine, Helene. Thank you.

(Do you want to stop?)

(You're doing great. Do you want to stop?)

We're stopping now.

CLARA: I'm not making progress. It must be me.

- No, this guy sucks. Luckily, he knows the exoskeleton.

- 'Exoskeleton.' I still find it hard to believe.

- In a month, you'll be walking. - Walking side by side.

Thank you, this is huge.

- I want to do this.

It's fine!

Ha! SIREN

SIREN

So... are you sure of what you're saying?

EXPERT: There's no doubt, from the crime scene data,

as well as point of impact, distance-

- And angle of penetration. - Certainly!

The fatal bullet was indeed fired by this gun.

Ah! So it's like shooting a-

IMITATES MACHINE GUN Kalachnikov!

- These collectors items are still dangerous.

1806. - 1808!

- Oh, really? - No no, look.

On the other hand, the bullets are from 1810, Wagner's collection,

purchased at auction.

- A little ball like that, makes a deadly bullet hole.

- From 5m these weapons are still reliable,

the shooter has a chance to hit his target.

But farther than that there is no precision.

- And who decides on the distance?

- It's a tradition of the ritual. MARLEAU: Ah!

A ritual with a small ball which kills every time,

I say it's a stupid ass ritual. Period.

Yes, Captain, I had a dispute once with a very threatening client.

- He have a long rap sheet?

- Yes, so I got serious

about shooting and I got a permit to carry a weapon.

But 19th century pistols are different

in terms of recoil and accuracy, if that's what's bothering you.

- You still succeeded in hitting the nail on the head, huh?

PAUL: I didn't really aim.

Like every year: I raised my arm and fired.

- With the same gun.

PAUL: Captain, I have a problem here.

- You're finally confessing, huh?

- No no no no, I think I'm being followed!

- Your threatening client? - No, he's in jail!

- He must be between stalk-ees. - Listen, they're following me!

It must be related to Wagner's death!

- You're so annoying, huh? Where are you?

- In my car, between the court and my office!

- Yeah, I'm on my way.

Come on Berthier! Hit me if it'll make you feel better!

- I'd be afraid of getting dirty!

You lied in front of the judges!

- Free speech in the courtroom, it's the law!

HONKING

Hey hey hey!

Gendarmerie! The law is me.

What's going on? Huh? You want to fight it out?

You're right, I don't know what's keeping me from-

But that'll achieve nothing. What'd he do to you?

- I'm being attacked on the internet because of his slander.

A labor inspector came to the hotel, you didn't have to do that!

- No, you didn't have to! What else?

- I can't sue for defamation, I can't even restore my reputation!!

Justice won't listen to me, I have no rights!

- Yeah! Those rotters, they're everywhere!

Especially him, he knows how the laws work, it's his garbage business.

- And he's on the loose when he killed a man! He has special rights!

- That's defamation, right there! - Oh, you think so?

- Hey hey hey! No more favoritism! Enough preferential treatment!

Mr. Berthier's right-- let's go, killer! I'm taking him in.

Berthier's right!

He's not getting us with his 'presumption of innocence'!

'Lawyers everywhere, justice nowhere!'

Thank you, Mr. Berthier! DOOR SLAMS

Wow, that was hot, huh? LAUGHS

MARLEAU SNIFFS

IMPRESSED Is this your office?

- And my home.

- No assistants? - No, I only trust myself.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- You're all pale.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- I need a pick-me-up. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- You're all pale.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- I need a pick-me-up. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Hmm.

- And your daughter,

she lives in your house?

PAUL: I wasn't going to leave her on the doorstep.

MARLEAU: Uh-

- It's good to chill out on the doorstep, like before a high dive, right?

SHE'S REALLY TOUGH, HUH? Your daughter. She's like her dad.

Not unlike one of your cases.

She takes advantage of what's happening to you to say:

"Hey Dad, I exist! Look at me!"

- This will do us good. Cheers. - Yeah. Cheers.

Wow!

Who're all these? Your VIP clients?

- I believe so.

- They're like your Cesars.* - Thanks for stepping in just now. * FRENCH OSCARS.

- It's okay. We live in a world without mercy, we need hope,

especially men.

Berthier isn't mean, it shows on his face.

He's right to blame you: you really fucked him good.

- That's the game. - The game? Yeah.

It amuses you, looking like a bastard?

- "The dog barks, the van keeps going." - You made me bark too.

- You're talking about the Guichard case. - Yeah.

- We need to turn the page. CLOCK CHIMES

♪ We must turn the page, IL FAUT TOURNER LA PAGE

change the landscape. ♪ BY CLAUDE NOUGARO

I don't have Nougaro's talent.

It wasn't "Nougayork",* that 3-week stakeout to take down Guichard, * NOUGARO ALBUM

3 weeks eating beans,

3 weeks holding my pee-- I even had triple cystitis!

Like working an assembly line.

Three messed-up weeks because of a nitpicky lawyer.

- You flatter me. - You're the best piece of shit.

Counselor, methinks as of this moment you are in custody.

- What do you mean?

- Well, she wasn't gunning for Wagner.

It wasn't him she wanted to fuck up,

the capital punishment was for you.

She considered Wagner

to be like the Executioner of Bethune.* * FROM 'TWENTY YEARS LATER' BY DUMAS

She said to herself, 'I'm putting a bullet in his gun' like this,

'and in the duel: Bam! The lawyer is terminated!'

- Why would she want to kill me? - Because of her brother,

who hanged himself in prison, she says because of you.

In the end, that's what she thinks.

And so she doesn't give up.

And here we are.

SIREN

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRECEPTION

KNOCKS

You're not in the cells? Special treatment?

- What do you want from me?

- To defend you.

- What's wrong with you?

- You wanted to kill me, I have to defend you.

Imagine the inside of the judge's head. - I don't want you, I don't trust you.

- I did all I could to ease Antoine's pain.

- Is that right. And why didn't it work?

- It was complicated.

- No, it was simple, he was innocent.

PAUL: Listen, Lucie.

Maybe I shouldn't tell you about this, but

your brother was a sensitive young man,

tormented. - What does that mean?

- He wasn't totally innocent of the charges.

- What?

PAUL: I don't always speak to the family, so as not to add to their pain,

but I couldn't tell you everything he trusted me with in confidence.

- If he committed suicide... PAUL: It's all my fault.

He blamed himself very much, he felt guilty.

PAUL: I should have insisted on enhanced monitoring.

Being in the cell reminded you of your brother, right?

I'll thank Marleau.

- I didn't booby-trap the gun.

- I'll take care of it. You will not go to jail.

- Thank you.

- Hmm! The Bonapartists are so serious?

Good for you, because your friend Oscar says

you were the guard in front of Wagner's tent

the day before the duel. Is that true?

ROLAND: That's correct. - Perfect.

So, would you have seen any weird little comings and goings, or whatever?

- Not really.

MARLEAU: Weren't you there? - Yes, of course.

MARLEAU: From when to when? - I can't say precisely.

- I'll have to know, huh?

Because the night before the duel, a killer came into

Wagner's tent to put a little bullet in Vignelli's gun.

However, the only person who was there was you!

- You're not accusing me?

Okay, I admit it, I wasn't there. - Ah.

I couldn't take it anymore, it was freezing out there.

Right? - It's true.

- Freezing cold like this one?

You wanted to get some sleep, so you left?

- You have to understand, playing soldier isn't my thing, sorry.

- What the hell were you doing there?

- I provided Wagner with expertise.

In exchange, he invited me to participate in the reenactment.

- Expertise? Expertise in what?

ROLAND: He had bought a frock coat supposedly worn by the emperor,

and he was afraid he had been fooled. And rightly so.

- What does that mean?

Show me.

- The product fobbed off on him was manufactured in 1816.

ROARING LAUGHTER

CHUCKLES Napoleon was already on St. Helena!

- Yes of course! Hahaha! EXAGGERATED LAUGH

Oh my!

...

And how much did he pay for it?

- 100,000 euros. 100,000! MARLEAU: How much?

- That's not very funny.

- €100,000. God almighty, Wagner's son is right.

Collectors-- more like they have an addiction:

"mobile-home" size! RUEFULLY: €100,000.

Captain, something's bothering me. - What?

- Why did Wagner ask Roland to appraise the coat?

He's not much of an expert.

- Because Jean-Paul Gaultier was too expensive?

- Um, Roland isn't an expert on the Empire.

- While you are? - Obviously.

- 'Obviously'!

- Usually, Wagner consults the noted expert, Helene Riva.

- Oh. Maybe she's on vacation.

- 'Helene Riva'?

Look at the list of Wagner's calls:

He tried to call a Helene Riva about 20 times. No response from her.

HELENE: Here you have a Greek-style helmet, it's good, fully intact.

with neck cover in original horsehair.

And here you have another type of helmet

which seems a little more rustic,

but which is also gilded in copper, with-

- Ms. Helene Riva? - Yes?

I'd like to sell this.

It belonged to a sailor on the battleship Potemkin,

Napoleon II or Vladimir I. What can I get for it?

SIGHS - Let's see...

Two euros at most. It's made in Taiwan, even that would be too much.

- You've got an eye. Strong. Well, I got taken.

Capt. Marleau, Gendarmerie expert. I'm investigating the death of Mr. Wagner.

- Yes, I heard, it- it's horrible.

- It's terrible, huh? As big Ivan used to say. Ah!

♪ With my friend the soldier- ♪ AVEC L'AMI BIDASSE BY FERNAND J.D. CONTANDIN

- Put that back please.

- Really? Excuse me.

Is it true he asked you to appraise a few pieces from his large collection?

- Yes, that's correct. Empire is my specialty, we met in the auction room.

- I like the Empire too, but the one with Chewbacca.

I love Darth Vader. When did you last see him?

- It was a while back. Not recently.

I avoided dealing with him.

MARLEAU: What for?

SMUGLY - Well, he thought he was more expert than the experts.

KNOWING LAUGH - Mmm! I understand.

Same with me: there're plenty of criminals

who think they're smarter than me, but they still got caught anyway.

CHUCKLES

What was I saying? Oh yes: the 100,000-buck frock coat.

Did he ask you to value it? - What frock coat?

Napoleon's frock coat.

He didn't mention it in your small world of experts??

- You know, it's a small world with a lot of things unspoken.

- Mmm. And the unspoken can kill. CLICKS

It's too bad he didn't consult you about the coat,

"Oh my," he wouldn't have got ripped off-- or killed even.

Scammers could've killed him to keep him quiet-- plausible?

- No, not really. - It's a possibility.

And now that we're expert girlfriends,

maybe you can help me follow this lead?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Of course,

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- ('Of course.') \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Of course,

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- ('Of course.') \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'll do everything I can.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'll do everything I can.

Here. Call me whenever you want. - Hmm?

The wasp is cute! Well...

See you later, Ms. Riva!

'A dans chaque faut,'* as they say back home. * TO EVERY NEED

There you are!

The prosecutor's office has ordered my client's release.

I hope you won't hold it against me.

- Stop taking everything personally.

Do I have to sign too?

Happy? Go on, get lost.

Beat it!

- Thank you, just tell me what I owe you.

- (Nothing, it's good).

MARLEAU: Are you happy?

She’s going to be alone with her boyfriend, who must be really pissed off.

'Domestic violence'-- sound familiar?

- Stan isn't violent.

- Whadaya know. Is he in your "boys club"?

Like his dad when he got conned?

- Conned?

- He was handed a fake Napoleon frock coat for 100,000 bucks,

you know that. - No. Is there a report?

- I don't know.

- So you have no leads. I thought you were more efficient.

- Back then you weren't accused of murder.

Is 'Helene Riva' familiar? Do you know her?

- By reputation, yes.

- ('Reputation'!) Strange, I found the same one on your desk.

- Wagner told me about her I had items in my collection to sell.

- You're a collector,

in addition to loving funny games? LAUGHS

- Captain? Good day. - Mmm. (Annoying...)

Paul!

- You look great.

- Great for an old girl?

Time is passing. - Not you.

- Stop.

- What, you don't believe me either? - Who doesn't?

- Marleau, the gendarme investigating Wagner's death.

- Does she think you're guilty?

- Is that why you wanted to see me?

I was set up, Helene.

If Marleau doesn't find by whom, I'll do it myself.

- She was here asking about him. - And?

- I said we hadn't seen each other for a long time, which is true.

Did he ever tell you about me?

- I only know you knew each other. - That's all?

- I didn't work for him anymore. Anyway, it was his decision,

I had become 'too expensive.' - I understand.

Listen, this story weighs on me, I'd rather not talk about it.

Let's have a drink instead. Where... My place? Your place?

Maybe another night, when I'm not tired.

Do you remember my sister? - Clara?

She was quite something.

- She had an accident.

Now she's paraplegic.

It was my fault.

- No, it's not your fault if she hit a truck.

- You knew?

- I chanced to learn about it. - 'By chance'?

You always learn everything by chance.

I didn't like her guy, he was a crook.

We had been drinking, we had a fight,

she took the car. And that's when...

So now you know about my life.

- How is she? - She lives with me now.

So, I had to reduce my work hours.

- Are you getting by? - I'm hanging on.

I didn't feel like going to bed.

- What's going on, sweetheart?

- Nothing.

- I'm sorry, I had to negotiate a woman's release,

and then I had an appointment.

- A woman? HE LAUGHS

- No, it was professional.

- I don't see you as much as before,

but with all that's happening to you

I shouldn't have come. - On the contrary.

- And the woman you got released, you like her?

- She's a client.

I did my job for her the best I can, that's all.

- Okay, I'm going to bed.

- Good night. - Good night.

I'm thinking, if you're guilty and are convicted,

everyone will desert you-- except me.

What, are you crazy?

You can't be here. There's a crime scene next door.

What's wrong?

Want me to call your lawyer?

- I needed to be here. Stop pissing me off!

- HO-OH! GET BACK HERE!

COME BACK! COME. BACK! Arrrgh...

YOU'RE A PAIN IN THE ASS!

Fuck, where is she?

HO!

Don't kill yourself. Come here.

COME HERE! - Leave me alone!

- No! You're under judicial supervision,

I don't want to supervise a dead fish.

Come!

Come on, give me your hand.

(A little further.)

Careful. Well...

Well then, what's the matter?

- Stan wouldn't let me in, and won't take my calls.

- Are you surprised? You took advantage of him to take revenge on Vignelli.

- At first, yes, but later...

- Later? Out came the violins, you fell in love?

Don't worry kid, guys change their minds like sneakers.

Don't beat yourself up.

- I lied, I cheated, I feel shitty.

- Shitty?

Well...

I remember that Stan... - 'I remember that Stan' what?

Tell me everything.

I'll find out eventually anyway, it's my job.

Go ahead, tell me. Sink or swim.

It's an image, I'm messing around! Well?

- He and his dad yelled at each other the day before the duel.

- Now you tell me? Why didn't you say so before?!

- Stan asked me.

- You annoy me.

Go ahead and jump, you annoy me.

STAN: I can't give you an answer today.

I'm missing the financials.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYes, late next week.

- You OK big guy?

- I'll call you back. I'll call you.

I didn't hear you knock. - It's because I didn't.

It seems you had a fight with your dad.

Did Oedipus resent his daddy? You didn't tell me about that.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Who said that?

- Yes, what's the story?

You were mad because dad

had spent 100,000 bucks on his Napoleon collection

instead of buying a small restaurant for his son.

- That has nothing to do with it. - Yes it does, because you--

here--

could get into your dad's tent whenever you wanted,

and, for example, put a bullet in the gun.

- Why would I have done that?

- Because, a dead dad means 'money ahoy!'

Dad dies, BAM, you get the collection.

You sell it, and with the cash buy yourself a restaurant.

- Yes, my dad had a secret he wanted to hide,

but it wasn't about the restaurant.

- What was it about? Napoleon perhaps?

- My father was sick,

he suffered from collectionism.

- (Unbelievable.) What's collectionism?

- A recognized mental pathology,

a compulsive need to accumulate, it's an addiction.

- He snorted Napoleon, like that?

Right, I wanted him to see someone, before it was too late.

- So... he told you to shove it because he didn't want to kick the habit, right?

- He snapped at first, yes.

- I understand: Napoleon had him by the acorns,

he must not have liked that. - No, he needed it.

- But he eventually saw he had lost his way,

and he promised to go see someone.

- And bad luck, somebody plugged him before he could.

It's a mess, huh?

Why didn't you tell me?

- You would've suspected me, and wasted time on me.

And I didn't want to give you a negative image of him

by disclosing his illness, which is the least I could do.

- Look at me, you. Look at me! Breathe.

EXHALES, SNIFFS Ughhh...

Doesn't smell good, but it doesn't sound false. You're lucky.

- Anyway, my father was ruined, I'll inherit nothing.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Welcome to the club.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNAPOLEONIC FROCK \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCOAT, 1ST EMPIRE\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNAPOLEONIC \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Welcome to the club.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hINFANTRY COAT

MARLEAU: Who knew Wagner had such a sharp collection,

and that he could be ripped off for €100,000?

Isn't that the one?

OSCAR: No, look: the stripe is missing there.

1812 NAPOLEONIC COAT This one comes a little closer, but no.

- What's with all the delirium over Napoleon?

- Basically, he saved the Revolution.

- No, people make Revolution, not dictators.

Are all these Empire crackpots such goobers?

- No. Well, a little.

The appeal of a collectors item is irresistible.

They can't help wanting it.

- Hmm. You as well?

- I don't have the means, so aside from replicas,

I'd have to find a bar of gold in a cadaver. THEY LAUGH

- A Swiss cadaver! LAUGHS

NAPOLEON I INFANTRY COAT OSCAR: Look, that's the one!

- You sure? - Captain, please. Yes.

Also, it's marked 'sold.'

- And the seller is...

BOTH: 'Gerfaut Antiques.'

CONSIGNMENT SHOP VILLAGE FLEA MARKET

BELL HELLO! WHERE ARE THE FLEAS?

ANYONE? GONE TO THE LILLE MARKET?

Oh, Napo'! CLOCKS CHIMING

CLOCKS CHIMING

HELLO, GENDARMERIE! CLOCKS CHIMING

CLOCKS CHIMING

(Ugly...) CLOCKS CHIMING

CLOCKS CHIMING

...

HO-OH! Ah.

MARLEAU: Ah! Nice place you have here! Am I disturbing you? So...

do you recognize this frock coat?

NERVOUSLY - Uh... maybe?

- Name, age, and occupation. - Of the coat?

- No- didn't you hear me? 'Capt. Marleau, Gendarmerie'?!

Well? The coat? - I know, no need to come on so strong.

- It's cool, come on... - €100 was too high-- but there were fees-

- No no no, not 100, it was 100,000 euros.

LAUGHS - Ha, no, it was €100, don't exaggerate,

it was worth €60 at most.

- And who bought it for €100?

- I don't know, the buyer didn't give me her name.

- The buyer was a girl, not a guy? - If you will.

- I want to find her!

- The coat? - No, not the coat, the buyer!

Short, tall, piercings, tattoos, riding a bike?

- I- I don't know anymore, maybe a little of all those?

- Yeah, I know the type. - Really?

- No. This doesn't look good for you, not good at all.

I'm keeping this as evidence.

- Uh, yes- - I'm going, so long.

Sorry Clara, the police...

- No worries, I was chewing the fat with your sis.

She says you're a real Mother Christmas, always taking care of her, yeah?

- What can I do for you? MARLEAU: Talk about Wagner.

You knew him a long time? - Yes.

- Did you know about his illness? - What illness?

MARLEAU: 'Collectionism.'

The illness of collectors who get addicted to collecting.

- No, that's a cliche, it's just a passion, not an illness.

- They're sick, I know what I'm talking about!

Collecting is a narcotic. See the result? A little nutty.

Wagner was the same.

- Well, that's your opinion. Can I get you a drink?

- No, I have my little coffee here, it's very very good. Thank you.

It's not dishwater! Thanks, huh?

Oh, amusing! Can I go look? HELENE: Of course, go right ahead.

MARLEAU CHUCKLES

Do you like the decor? - It's not bad!

- Did you work with Wagner often?

- Yes, he'd become a friend.

- Exactly, I'm looking for a 'friend' who could have

sold him flour instead of Napoleon junk.

- And that would be me?

- Why not? Since you say you weren't aware

of the frock coat scam.

- Getting scammed is very vexing, it's humiliating...

We don't want it to become known. - (Ah, no.)

And anyway, they couldn't tell you about it

if you weren't answering the phone.

"Helene's not here!" Why didn't you answer?

Afraid he'd say something? Was he harassing you?

He doesn't have the face of an 8pm news anchor!

AMUSED He doesn't have the face of an 8pm news anchor!

Your sister here told me about her exoskeleton! THPPT

- She'll be able to walk again.

- It must've cost you an arm and 2 legs. LAUGHS Pardon me.

INSISTENT DOORBELL

Something wrong? - It's not good.

I have to talk to you, Paul.

Your friend Wagner actually resented me a lot.

- Oh, no.

The frock coat was me. - The €100,000 frock coat?!

- It was me, I scammed him.

Yes, I'm pathetic, you were in love with a loser.

I wanted you to learn about it from me, not the gendarme.

CLOCK CHIMES

I got Wagner to believe I found this exceptional piece with an antiques dealer,

and I signed a fake certificate of authenticity.

I needed the money. Clara costs me so much.

He began to have doubts and got the coat appraised.

- He found out you had fooled him.

Why didn't he talk to me about suing you?

HELENE: He knew we were together. - No, that was long ago.

- He wanted to drag me through the mud and force me to pay him back.

I did all of it for Clara, understand? For her treatment.

You must think I'm horrible.

- No.

But Wagner's death does you no favors.

- I wasn't there, what are you talking about?

- You could've been scared.

- You could have hired someone to get rid of him.

- Can you see me doing that? You believe me, I hope? Do you?

- It doesn't make a difference. What matters is you.

- Dad!?

- Uh, Helene, this is my daughter Elena.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Good evening.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Good evening. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Good evening.

Right, I have to get back, Clara is expecting me.

But I'll call you.

'Helene' what?

PAUL: Riva. Helene Riva. - That's her?

- Mom told me about a phantom who screwed up

your relationship. It was her?

But why aren't you together now?

- She wasn't in love; not enough.

- Nevertheless-- 'Helene', 'Elena'?

Come on.

GENTLE LAUGHS

Good evening, Captain. MARLEAU: See you, Noel. Good night.

So: Helene Riva?

- Helene Riva.

"La Riva." She's a diva.

I'm sure she's the one who brought the Napoleon coat to Wagner.

So Wagner isn't happy. "I'm going to file a complaint!"

So who does he make a date with? With a lawyer. There you go.

- And not Vignelli?

- Maybe Wagner and Vignelli were pissed at each other.

DUMEL: Why pretend that he didn't know Helene Riva?

- Vignelli?

- 'Why did the lawyer say he doesn't know the expert?'

The expert, the lawyer...

Perhaps the expert is expert at something else!

- Sounds like a Fontaine fable:

'Master Vignelli, perched on a tree.*' * JEAN DE LA FONTAINE, "RAVEN & THE FOX"

- Stop doing Luchini.* * ACTOR ASSOCIATED WITH READINGS OF THE STORY

We'd need a witness.

A witness who knows Vignelli really well.

- Does he have a secretary?

- I know:

there is a person sharing his life right now.

Huh, Vignelli?

"Yes, but right now I have other things to do! Ha ha ha ha!"

SCHOOL BELL

MARLEAU: Hey Elena! C'mere! C'MERE!

I want to have a word. - Is there a problem?

No problem. Well, not really. How's the family? OK?

Cohabiting with your father alright?

SCHOOL BELL Cohabiting with your father alright?

SCHOOL BELL Your father' s busy with the case of

Your father' s busy with the case of

his buddy who died, you must not see him much.

- Yes, we spend time together, it's cool. MARLEAU: That's enough?

You have him all to yourself, just you. - True.

It's weird he's all alone. He's a good-looking guy, he's not taken?

- He's fine like this. - Alright. He has no girlfriend?

- Why the questions? - Oh, these questions are-

Have you ever seen him with this woman?

- No. Who is she?

- No one. A suspect. - She booby-trapped the gun?

- We don't know.

If it turns out yes, she had good reason to do it,

or have someone do it, for example.

- I've never seen her.

- Alright. Well, thank you. - Yes. You're welcome.

- Hurry up, you're late! Yeah! SCHOOL BELL

...

...

Helene Riva's office? - She's in a meeting.

Would you like to leave a message? - No, it's okay.

CLOCKS CHIMING

HELENE: It is a theme that existed in the Renaissance,

but very 19th century.

The restoration was done poorly. The frame is original.

So this is Venus, the scene is beautiful.

Excuse me a moment.

Elena? What are you doing here?

ELENA: I have to talk to you. - Yes? Is your father alright?

- My father? You don't give damn about my father!

- (No, don't worry-) - 'Don't worry'?

You let him be accused. You were the one who wanted to kill Wagner!

- Wait, you're wrong!

ELENA: No. HELENE: Calm down, I'll explain-

- Turn yourself in! He'll never do it

because he loves you! - I assure you, you're wrong.

ELENA: He could go to jail because of you.

- Hey, why would he 'go to jail because of' her?

So, we don't know each other?

Well done! - My father and her are an old love story.

- No? No!

Would you mind? Ms. Helene has stuff to tell me.

Can I call you 'Helene,' Helene?

'Helene,' 'Elena'-- that's funny, a funny coincidence!

You're a gambler, you.

You got €100,000 all in one go.

Did Napoleon give you the Lotto numbers?

- I didn't know Wagner had financial problems,

otherwise, I assure you-

- Otherwise you would've asked for more?

You would've chosen another pigeon?

- I didn't have him murdered.

- But you don't mind exploiting a Napoleon addict's weakness!

It's the same with Vignelli. You used his love!

- 'Used his love'? - Yes, to kill Wagner!

- I thought he had moved on. - Really?

- He didn't try to call you? - No, never.

- Still, love makes you stupid. Love!

Love! Love! Love! Love! Love!

I'm practicing my de Funes* impression. * LEADING ACTOR OF THE 60s AND 70s

Elena, where are you? I'm waiting for you for lunch.

Please call me back.

DOORBELL

...

...

Search warrant! Your daughter is at the station for further investigation.

Not with Elise Lucet,* but with the beautiful Helene, * JOURNALIST

the belle of your life, beautiful Helene Riva. Come on!

- Hold on! By what right are you coming into my home, and summoning my daughter?

- Why the hell was she with your girl at the auction house?

You said you didn't know her--

'No, I only know her by reputation.' Well?

- I don't know.

- Chop-chop!

How lame, crying 'I don't know.'

Taking it back now?

Counselor Crow on his ego perch, ♪ he's lost his song! ♪

No matter. Your girlfriend is telling your whole story:

your meeting, your breakup...

- Listen, that's private, I'm not required to recount that.

- If it had happened you wouldn’t have told me, smart-ass?

- I have no history with Helene Riva.

- Really? It's platonic, Lancelot du Lac, Esq.?

In any case, she was lucky to have him, her knight of the bar!

Otherwise the fair Helene couldn't afford to give things to her sister:

an exoskeleton, for example.

It's not like finding a Trojan Horseshoe, it costs a mint,

so without the dough she had to find another way out.

- Stop your metaphors. - My metaphor means that

your girlfriend scammed your pal, "capisce"?

- No, "no capisco."

- Well I'll explain:

she is ripping him off.

He realizes it, he finds the balls to threaten her:

'I'm going to burn you in your trade!' 'Oh you will? How?'

'I'm going to hire the best lawyer!' And who's the best lawyer? It's you.

Except that you and her were--

Which Wagner didn't know. - Didn't know what?

- That you'd defend her until the end of the night, Céline.* * REF TO BOOK BY FERDINAND CELINE

- All of this is speculation you have nothing!

- You're not wrong, I'm lacking proof.

I need to find the bogus certificate of authenticity

your girlfriend fobbed off on Wagner for 100,000 bucks.

You're searching here?

MARLEAU: Mm-hmm. - Good luck, Captain.

- It's not luck, it's logic! It wasn't at Wagner's, it has to be here.

Did you find it?

How about you? GENDARME: No, nothing, Captain.

- Really? So...

Maybe that's proof that you destroyed

the evidence of her involvement, all this is to protect her.

- Proof by absence of proof? Procedurally that's going to cost you.

- I'm not letting you walk, Offenbach.* * COMPOSER OF OPERA 'LA BELLE HELENE'

♪ I am, King of the Bar, King of the Bar, beautiful Helene. I'm here. ♪

♪ I'll always be here for you! ♪ Keep looking.

Again. From there. Now then...

MARLEAU: Okay...

Keep going...

Stop, go back so I can see a little better.

There; we see... then... the powder... taps it...

OSCAR: He tamps it...

MARLEAU: Stop stop stop! OSCAR: What?

MARLEAU: There, what's that? OSCAR: Uh...

MARLEAU: Wagner picks up something, what is it? Look!

OSCAR: SURPRISE

BIRDSONG

Hey!

Have you ever fired a thing like this?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Nnnno.

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Nnnno.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- You?

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Nnnno.\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- You? No?

THPPT It doesn't work.

BLOWS IN BARREL

How much of my time are you going to waste, Captain?

- Hey, see? Like Anémone at the Cesars.* * REF TO ACTRESS AT 1988 CESAR AWARDS

Eh, Helene? Is it real or fake? She's an expert, huh?

- Let's get to the facts-- if possible?

- Certainly, my dear Counselor.

Could you- I don't want to to hassle you-

go load your big pistol? "Please, this way."

Don't worry, there's no bullet in it this time.

♪ That's it, that's it, that's it! ♪

Thank you. This is the murder weapon.

(GERMAN) "Forbidden! Substitute."

In your little hand!

The powder? The powder!

And: 'a little wadding!' There!

Will there be enough, counselor?

- Yes, it's fine. - Very well.

Mm-hmm!\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

Alright...\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

Mm-hmm...

...

Ready to kill- pardon me- to shoot?

So take aim, my dear duke.

You're not making the same movements as in the duel.

- It's not an exact science. - Really? Are you sure?

Because when I saw your little film Duel-

(it wasn't Spielberg)- I wasn't focused on you,

I was focused on the money shot.

I was waiting to see how you were going to put the bullet in the barrel.

Now, I was obsessed with you,

hence I totally missed how

you didn't put in the wadding.

- The wadding is optional, it's simply to prevent the powder from getting wet.

MARLEAU: Oh yeah? Then why did Wagner put in wadding?

There: wadding.

Did you use wadding in all the other years, counselor?

- Why didn't I put in any?

- Because it creates a plug so a bullet doesn't go straight at the victim. Right?

Mm-hmm\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h

You knew there was a bullet: you put it there

the day before in the small tent.

- Do you have proof? - No.

HELENE: Stop the bullshit.

(Stop lying. Stop it!)

- You're not going to believe-

- You've been digging into my life from the beginning!

You knew everything, about Wagner, about my sister. So stop!

- You wanted to keep her out of the slammer? Why?

So she'd say, 'Thank you, my great darling love'?

- (You thought what, I was going to get back together with you?

Are you completely crazy? Have you lost your mind?)

(You killed someone. Do you realize?)

- You weren't going to tell her?

- Why? Why?

You wanted to save me, right? Yeah, yeah.

But the two of us-- it was impossible.

And he remains stoic.

I WANT TO SLAP YOU!

- Completely rotten, your strategy.

So explain to me: why'd you want to whack Wagner?

- I wanted to dissuade him from filing a complaint against you.

But he didn't want to hear it. He wanted to destroy you,

to send you to prison,

when your sister needed you.

- You ruined my life, Paul.

- You decided to hit Wagner when the girl showed up in his tent, right?

Did you recognize her, that kid Lucie?

(I don't understand the screw-up.)

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- You saw it as \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\han opportunity

- Baron! - How is that standing guard?

Go check that no one has infiltrated! - Understood, sir!

MAN: Laurent! Come on, we'll take care of the horses.

- Well, Corporal? - Nothing to report, Baron.

Perfect!

You're still up? Aren't you tired?

- Yes, but there were things to check. - Can I help?

- No, thanks.

Say, thanks for 'helping' me with Riva, 'good show.'

- I have so much work- - No no no, I know

but I was fooled in a scandalous way!

I ask you to defend me, and I waited for weeks!

Are you thinking you'll save her?

- I'll take care of it, I promise.

- I'll make do without you.

Are you going to follow through with it? - Obviously.

What do you think? I want to make her a laughingstock.

I want to ruin her reputation and send her to prison!

- You can't be certain that- - She took advantage of my trust,

and profited from my condition!

- Your 'condition'? - Yes!

Stan is right, I'm sick.

I'm going to get better.

In the meantime, I must prevent her from claiming more victims.

Besides, you're going to give me the pleasure of

finding the fake certificate of authenticity

for the frock coat. That's my proof,

it's conclusive. - I'm sorry, I'll do it.

- You've already promised me.

When are you going to do it, Paul?!

- Next week, without fail. - Good!

No, he won't be a problem. Well, take him in hand.

- I had no choice. MARLEAU: Now.

MARLEAU: Go ahead, you can take her in.

CAR STARTS

He killed my father on purpose?

He looked so shocked after the shooting.

- Sure, but that's lawyers. They're frustrated actors.

He's super good, I'm sure he'll get the part at the Court of Assizes.

- On the other hand, I don't want to harm Helene.

I'm not filing a complaint.

- That's good news-- the second piece of good news.

Your girl has been released.

Hide your joy!

Hey! Two days ago you were making moon eyes at her!

- Yeah, but she lied to me. - She didn't lie,

she didn't tell you her brother had committed suicide in prison

because of Vignelli, that's all.

You want her digits?

- It's okay, I have it. - Oh yeah?

You didn't block her? Hmmm!

Call her, don't be such a bitch.

I'm off, see you later!

- Thank you!

Ah... Waterloo, a gloomy plain.* * REF TO SIR WALTER SCOTT POEM