Original subtitles

♪

DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER: SEX IS A BASIC NEED.

MAN: THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION HAS FINALLY ARRIVED.

PENN JILLETTE: FROM THE TIME I WAS 12,

I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE THAT

MATTERED BESIDES SEX.

NARRATOR: EVER SINCE THE MOST POWERFUL HUMAN DRIVE

HOOKED UP WITH TECHNOLOGY,

IT'S BEEN ONE TORRID AFFAIR.

RAVI PATEL: THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER UNION

THAN SEX AND TECHNOLOGY.

DR. DREW PINSKY: THE CONSEQUENCES ARE PROFOUND.

ANDY COHEN: FOR ME A BIG TURNING POINT WAS WHEN

I GOT MY FIRST PORNO VHS.

SHANNON BOODRAM: THIS GREATLY CHANGED THE WAY

THAT WE TALK ABOUT SEX, SEE SEX,

AND MEET OUR SEXUAL PARTNERS.

ANN COULTER: I THINK TINDER SOUNDS SO FANTASTIC.

IF I WERE NOT A PUBLIC FIGURE,

I WOULD TOTALLY DO TINDER.

NARRATOR: BUT AS THE LINE BLURS BETWEEN THE DEVICE

AND THE FLESH.

DR. DREW PINSKY: WE ARE EVOLVED FOR THIS.

NARRATOR: WHAT ARE THE NEW FRONTIERS OF FANTASY?

WOMAN: WELCOME TO MY BEDROOM.

MARTY KLEIN: WHAT EXACTLY IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

REALITY AND FANTASY?

MAN: YOUR BRAIN IS REALLY GONNA BELIEVE

YOU'RE IN THERE.

HELEN FISHER: TECHNOLOGY IS CHANGING SEX

AND CHANGING LOVE.

NARRATOR: AND WHAT ARE NEW TABOOS?

SAM YAGAN: MOST PEOPLE SAY,

"OKAY, WELL, IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY MOM,

IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME."

NARRATOR: FROM THE TURN OF THE 20TH CENTURY,

SEX HAS BEEN LITERALLY ELECTRIFIED BY TECHNOLOGY.

ONE OF THE FIRST FIVE ELECTRIC GADGETS BESIDES

THE SEWING MACHINE, FAN, TOASTER, AND TEA KETTLE

WAS A PLUG-IN SEXUAL STIMULATOR.

THE VIBRATOR WAS A CURE-ALL FOR A SERIES OF

MYSTERIOUS COMPLAINTS COLLECTIVELY CALLED

HYSTERIA THAT PLAGUED VICTORIAN ERA WOMEN.

JANE WARD: ANY WOMAN WHO WAS EXPERIENCING STRESS,

ANY WOMAN FRANKLY WHO WAS VIOLATING VICTORIAN GENDER

NORMS, WHO WAS TOO UPPITY, WHO WAS TOO CONFIDENT, WHO

WAS DISSATISFIED WITH HER HUSBAND, SHE WOULD VERY

LIKELY BE DIAGNOSED AS HYSTERICAL.

DR. DREW PINSKY: THERE WAS A, SORT OF A PHILOSOPHY

IN MEDICINE THAT HYSTERIA EMANATED FROM A

BLOCK IN WOMAN'S SEX ORGAN.

THESE PHYSICIANS WOULD ACTUAL MANUALLY STIMULATE THE WOMEN.

CRAZY.

NARRATOR: INITIALLY, THE PROCEDURE CALLED FOR A

DOCTOR TO MASSAGE THE CLITORIS TO THE POINT OF ORGASM,

THEREBY RELIEVING THE BUILT-UP PRESSURE

THOUGHT TO CAUSE HYSTERIA.

NINA HARTLEY: IT WAS NOT CONSIDERED FALLACIOUS

IN ANY WAY.

IT WAS CONSIDERED COMPLETELY MODERN

SCIENTIFIC VICTORIAN MEDICINE IN THE TREATMENT

OF HYSTERIA.

DR. DREW PINSKY: IF A DOCTOR DID THAT TODAY,

HE OR SHE SHOULD BE ARRESTED AND ESCORTED AWAY IMMEDIATELY.

JANE WARD: IT WAS SO IMPOSSIBLE FOR THESE

VICTORIAN PHYSICIANS TO IMAGINE THAT WOMEN WERE SEXUAL,

THAT THEY HAD A SEX DRIVE.

NARRATOR: BUT THE TREATMENT FAILS IF THE

DOCTOR DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TOUCH OR STAMINA.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: I ACTUALLY THINK THE DOCTORS

PROBABLY WEREN'T THAT GOOD AT BRINGING WOMEN TO ORGASM.

KATE WHITE: WHEN THEY WERE HELPING WOMEN COME

TO ORGASM THEIR HANDS GOT TIRED.

NATHAN ENSMENGER: LIKE A LOT OF MANUAL TASKS THAT

ARE DIFFICULT AND POSSIBLY ONEROUS,

IT WAS MECHANIZED.

NARRATOR: AND SO WAS BORN THE VIBRATOR.

ONE EARLY VERSION WAS A TABLE TOP MODEL DESIGNED

FOR THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE,

AND POWERED BY A STEAM ENGINE.

THEN IN 1902, HAMILTON BEACH INTRODUCED

THE FIRST PERSONAL VIBRATOR,

JUST THE FIFTH DOMESTIC APPLIANCE TO BE ELECTRIFIED.

BUT TO SET THE TONE FOR MANY ANOTHER SEXUAL DEVICE,

IT WAS MARKETED WITH DISCRETION BORDERING

ON DECEPTION.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: YOU CAN SEE THE ADS GOING WAY,

WAY BACK WHERE THERE'S A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND SHE'S

HOLDING UP A MASSAGER AND IT SAYS SOMETHING LIKE,

"TAKES AWAY THE ACHES AND PAINS.

LET GO OF THE STRESS OF THE DAY."

OFTEN SHE HAS IT ON HER NECK.

IN DRUGSTORES TODAY, YOU CAN SEE THAT SAME WOMAN

WITH THE WAND VIBRATOR HOLDING IT UP TO HER NECK.

BUT THE TRUTH IS NO ONE IS PUTTING THAT ON THEIR NECK.

NO ONE.

WOMAN: WHAT'S THAT?

WOMAN 2: JUST A VIBRATOR.

WOMAN: OH, WOW, IT'S FUNNY, NO?

NARRATOR: ANOTHER 20TH CENTURY TRIUMPH OF

TECHNOLOGY WAS QUICKLY CO-OPTED FOR SEX.

WEIGHING IN AT A TON OR MORE,

IT BECAME ONE OF THE ALL-TIME BIGGEST FETISH OBJECTS.

WOMAN: GEE, THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL CAR.

MAN: CHEVROLET, 1956.

WOMAN: NICE.

DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER: THE CAR INDUSTRY SHOULD BE MY

PARTNER IN THE SEXUAL EVOLUTION.

WOMAN: A MAN LIKE YOU, I MEAN,

WITH A CAR LIKE THIS.

NATHAN ENSMENGER: I OFTEN ASK STUDENTS,

"WHAT IS AN AUTOMOBILE FOR?"

AND I'LL USUALLY GET SOME ANSWER LIKE,

"IT'S FOR THE TRANSPORTATION FROM POINT A TO POINT B."

BUT FOR A 16 YEAR OLD KID THE AUTOMOBILE IS ABOUT FREEDOM.

IT'S A PLACE THAT THEY CAN GET TO WITHOUT BEING UNDER

THE EYE OF THEIR PARENTS.

SON: SO, DAD, DO YOU THINK I COULD HAVE THE CAR TONIGHT?

DAD: WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH THE CAR?

SON: GEE, DAD, GIRLS DON'T GO OUT WITH A FELLOW

UNLESS HE'S GOT A CAR.

DAD: YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE RUNNING AROUND IN CARS

AT NIGHT WITH GIRLS.

SON: I'M 16, AREN'T I?

MARTY KLEIN: BEFORE THE CAR,

PEOPLE DIDN'T DATE JUST TWO PEOPLE BY THEMSELVES.

THEY HAD TO HAVE A CHAPERONE OR THE PERSON

HAD TO COME TO YOUR HOME.

THERE WAS EXPECTATION OF PRIVACY.

HELEN FISHER: WHEN THE CAR BECAME WIDELY AVAILABLE,

NOW YOU HAVE A ROLLING BEDROOM.

NARRATOR: IN A TIME OF SEXUAL REPRESSION,

AMERICA'S CRUSH ON THE CAR WAS THERE FOR ALL TO SEE.

AND IT'S EVOLUTION FROM THE DOUGHTY MODEL-T TO THE

CURVACEOUS CHROME-DRIPPING BEAUTIES OF THE 1950S.

THE CAR WAS MORE THAN TRANSPORTATION.

IT WAS SEX ON WHEELS.

ANDY COHEN: THE CAR IS A MOBILE HOTEL, MOTEL,

LITTLE SCREW PALACE IS AN INGENIOUS INVENTION.

I IMAGINE PEOPLE IN THE '50S BEING SO REPRESSED

AND HAVING NOWHERE TO GO AND THEN GOING IN PARKING

SOMEWHERE AND THEN DOING IT IN THE CAR

AND FOGGING UP THE WINDOWS.

KATE WHITE: I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THE CAR PLAYED A

PRETTY BIG ROLE IN THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION.

NARRATOR: BESIDES ITS CANDY-COLORED ROLLING BEDROOMS,

THE 1950S WERE STILL, WELL, THE '50S.

MAN: AFTER THE DAY'S WORK AND WORRIES ARE DONE WHAT

IS MORE FUN FOR A MAN THAN TO COME HOME TO A QUIET

HOUSE WITH HAPPY CHILDREN AND A LOVING SPOUSE.

WOMAN: GOOD NIGHT, MOTHER.

GOOD NIGHT, FATHER.

DAVID EISENBACH: THE 1950S ARE OFTEN REFERRED TO

AS THE AGE OF CONFORMITY.

JEAN KILBOURNE: SEXUALITY WAS JUST A WHOLE LOT OF

REPRESSION AND A WHOLE LOT OF GUILT AND SHAME AROUND IT.

WOMAN: WE'RE NOT READY FOR THAT KIND OF ATTACHMENT,

ARE WE?

JERRY SPRINGER: WE WERE WATCHING "I LOVE LUCY,"

AND MARRIED COUPLES WERE SLEEPING IN SEPARATE BEDS.

LARRY FLYNT: SEX WAS REALLY TABOO.

IT WAS BASICALLY FOR PROCREATION.

AND IF YOU DID ENJOY IT,

YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO NECESSARILY TALK ABOUT IT.

WOMAN: JESS, ISN'T THAT AILEEN?

JESS: IT SURE IS, BABY AND ALL.

NARRATOR: BUT SOMETHING SMALLER THAN A JELLYBEAN

WAS ABOUT TO TOUCH OFF ONE OF THE BIGGEST SOCIAL

REVOLUTIONS OF ALL TIME.

MAN: CONTRACEPTION IN THE EARLY 20TH CENTURY,

YOU KNOW, YOU HAD DIAPHRAGMS.

ALSO AVAILABLE IS THE CONDOM OR RUBBER.

DAVID EISENBACH: AND THEN YOU HAD LIKE QUACK IDEAS,

LIKE THE IDEA THAT LYSOL IS A CONTRACEPTIVE

AND WOULD PREVENT PREGNANCY.

MAN: TO USE LYSOL, MEASURE TWO AND ONE HALF

TABLESPOONS IN A GALLON OF CLEANING WATER,

AND DEATH TO EVIL GERMS.

MIRIAM REUMANN: THE MOST COMMONLY AND WIDELY USED

CONTRACEPTIVE FOR WOMEN WAS DOUCHING WITH CLEANING PRODUCTS.

IT DIDN'T WORK.

AT BEST, IT WAS INEFFECTUAL, AND AT WORST

IT WOULD BURN YOUR TISSUES QUITE DRAMATICALLY.

MAN: ASK FOR LYSOL AT YOUR DRUGGIST TODAY.

MIRIAM REUMANN: NEVERTHELESS, THAT'S HOW

DESPERATE PEOPLE WERE WHEN THEY HAD NO ACCESS TO

DECENT BIRTH CONTROL.

NARRATOR: IT ALL ADDED UP TO ONE BIG SEXUAL TURN OFF.

WITHIN ONE TWEAK OF TECHNOLOGY CHANGED THE

SUBJECT OF BIRTH CONTROL FROM A TURN OFF TO A TURN ON,

THE ETERNAL NO INTO AN ECSTATIC YES.

WOMAN: THE BIRTH CONTROL PILL IS VERY EFFECTIVE IF

TAKEN DAILY AS DIRECTED.

FOR MOST WOMEN, THE PILL IS SAFE, EFFECTIVE,

AND CONVENIENT.

DR. CARL DJERASSI: FOR THE FIRST TIME,

IT SEPARATED SEX AND CONTRACEPTION.

NARRATOR: IN THIS NEVER BEFORE SEEN INTERVIEW,

ONE OF THE CHEMISTS WHO FIRST SYNTHESIZED THE HORMONE

PROGESTERONE TELLS OF THE BREAKTHROUGH THAT MADE

THE PILL POSSIBLE.

DR. CARL DJERASSI: PROGESTERONE IS ONE OF THE

FEMALE SEX HORMONES WHICH IS NATURE'S CONTRACEPTIVE.

WE COMPLETED THE SYNTHESIS OF THAT SUBSTANCE

OCTOBER 15, 1951.

SO, YOU COULD SAY THAT WAS THE BIRTHDAY OF THE PILL.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: IT RADICALLY SHIFTED THE

SEX LIVES OF WOMEN.

MAN: ABOUT 1,800 WOMEN ARE USING THE PILL NOW,

GETTING IT FREE IN RETURN FOR A REGULAR REPORTING

ON THE RESULTS.

DEBORAH TOLMAN: IF YOU TOOK THE PILL CORRECTLY,

THERE IS A 99.5% CHANCE THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE EFFECTIVE.

WE HAD NEVER HAD THAT KIND OF EFFECTIVE BIRTH CONTROL.

NARRATOR: THE PILL HIT THE U.S. MARKET IN 1960,

APPROVED NOT FOR BIRTH CONTROL,

WHICH WAS THEN ILLEGAL IN MANY STATES,

BUT AS A REMEDY FOR MENSTRUAL CRAMPS.

AMERICAN WOMEN KNEW EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS FOR,

AND HOW TO GET IT.

COMPLAINTS OF MENSTRUAL DISORDERS SKYROCKETED

ALONG WITH PRESCRIPTIONS FOR THE PILL.

JEAN KILBOURNE: I WENT ON THE PILL FAIRLY SOON AFTER

IT WAS DEVELOPED.

FOR MOST OF US, OUR LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN

SO COMPLETELY DERAILED BY AN UNWANTED,

UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY.

WOMAN: I WANTED THE PILLS.

DOCTOR: I SEE, DO YOU HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE PILLS?

HAVE YOU USED THEM BEFORE?

WOMAN: NO.

DOCTOR: NO?

PENN JILLETTE: I WAS VERY AWARE THAT IF THE GIRL

THAT I HAD SEX WITH GOT PREGNANT THAT

MY LIFE WOULD CHANGE.

I WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT IF MY PARTNER WERE ON THE PILL,

THAT I ACTUALLY SAW THE PILLS AND CHECKED THE DATES,

WHICH I DID DO.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: THE POWER WAS ESSENTIALLY IN OUR HANDS,

AND THERE WAS A LOT MORE DISCUSSION AROUND

SEX FOR PLEASURE SAKE, SEX FOR FUN,

RATHER THAN SIMPLY SEX FOR PROCREATION.

DR. CARL DJERASSI: SEX IS FOR FUN AND LOVE AND LUST.

AND I AS A WOMAN AM ENTITLED TO SEXUAL

PLEASURE JUST AS MUCH AS THE MAN WITHOUT ALWAYS

HAVING TO EITHER PAY THE CONSEQUENCES OR THE FEAR

OF AN UNWANTED PREGNANCY.

NARRATOR: BY 1965,

6.5 MILLION AMERICAN WOMEN WERE ON THE PILL.

AND THE PROBLEM OF FORGETTING A DAILY DOSE

WAS EASED BY THE INVENTION THE NOW ICONIC DIAL PACK.

SOME PAKISTANI WOMEN RELIED ON THE CELESTIAL DIAL PACK,

RESTARTING THEIR CYCLE OF TAKING

PILLS ON THE NIGHT OF EACH NEW MOON.

BUT WITH SO MANY WOMEN ON SUCH A NEW DRUG,

THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS.

JANE WARD: THESE PILLS PRODUCED A WHOLE HOST OF

SIDE-EFFECTS, WEIGHT GAIN, SOMETIMES NAUSEA,

SOMETIMES CONSTIPATION.

JEAN KILBOURNE: THE MUCH MORE SERIOUS ONE, THE ONE

THAT WASN'T REALLY TALKED ABOUT WAS THE RELATIONSHIP

OF THE PILL TO DEPRESSION.

I BECAME VERY DEPRESSED AND

SOMEWHAT SUICIDAL FOR A TIME.

NARRATOR: THE SEVERITY OF THE REACTIONS WAS DUE TO

THE EARLY PILL CONTAINING FIVE TO TEN TIMES

THE HORMONES OF TODAY'S VERSION.

BUT FOR WOMEN WHO WOULD PUT UP WITH CHEMICAL

DOUCHES AND WORSE, THE SIDE EFFECTS WERE NOT

AS DEBILITATING AS THE PILL WAS LIBERATING.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: WE HAD CONTROL OVER OUR BODIES

AND THAT REALLY CHANGED EVERYTHING.

NARRATOR: MEN HAD TO WAIT ANOTHER THREE DECADES FOR

THEIR OWN BREAKTHROUGH IN SEXUAL TECHNOLOGY,

BUT THIS TIME, THE PILLS CAME DOLLED UP IN BLUE.

DR. DREW PINSKY: I REMEMBER THE DAY THEY WERE

APPROVED BY THE FDA BECAUSE I HAD 75-PLUS YEAR

OLD MEN WALK IN MY OFFICE ONE AFTER THE OTHER

DEMANDING THAT PILL.

AND ABOUT A WEEK LATER, EQUALLY AS MAN PHONE CALLS

FROM ANGRY WIVES.

NARRATOR: IN 1998, UPON THE DRUG'S RELEASE,

DOCTORS WERE DOLING OUT VIAGRA AT A RATE OF 10,000

NEW PRESCRIPTIONS A DAY.

ONE PHYSICIAN WROTE 300 PRESCRIPTIONS THE DAY IT

BECAME AVAILABLE.

BOB DOLE: WHEN I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PROSTATE CANCER,

I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT POSSIBLE

POST-OPERATIVE SIDE EFFECTS LIKE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION, ED.

DR. DREW PINSKY: BOB DOLE CAME OUT WITH AN AD

TALKING ABOUT VIAGRA, AND IT HAD A HUGE IMPACT.

I THINK BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME WE WERE LOOKING

AT OUR ELDER STATESMEN, LITERALLY,

AS SEXUAL BEINGS.

OH, MY GOD.

THEY HAVE SEX, TOO?

ELIZABETH DOLE: LET ME JUST SAY THAT I'LL MAKE

THIS STATEMENT HE WAS IN THE PROTOCOL

AND IT'S A GREAT DRUG, OKAY?

BOB DOLE: WELL, IT'S A LITTLE EMBARRASSING TO

TALK ABOUT ED, BUT IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO MILLIONS OF

MEN AND THEIR PARTNERS THAT I DECIDED TO TALK

ABOUT IT PUBLICALLY.

LYNN COMELLA: THEY'RE PROBABLY THE LEAST SEXY

ADS THAT YOU CAN IMAGINE.

DR. DREW PINSKY: THE BOB DOLE AD WAS NOT WHAT YOU

CALL SEXY, BUT NOR WAS IT MEANT TO BE.

THIS IS A MEDICAL INTERVENTION FOR A MEDICAL

CONDITION CALLED ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IN OLDER

MEN DUE TO MEDICATION AND VASCULAR ISSUES.

IT SHOULDN'T BE SEXY NECESSARILY.

NARRATOR: WHILE MEDICAL ADVANCES ENABLED

THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION, IT WAS ANOTHER UNSTOPPABLE

WAVE OF TECHNOLOGY THAT INDULGED OUR FANTASIES.

WOMAN: LOOK AT ME.

DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?

WOMAN: LOOK AT ME.

DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?

GOOD, BECAUSE IT'S NOT ME.

IT'S A RECORDING OF ME, ON NEW MEMOREX VIDEOTAPE.

NARRATOR: THE YEAR 1976 SAW THE ROLLOUT OF THE

FIRST HOME VHS MACHINES IN JAPAN.

A YEAR LATER, VHS WAS A MUST-HAVE PERSONAL

TECHNOLOGY AROUND THE WORLD.

JIM STICKLEY: EVERYBODY WANTED A VHS PLAYER.

NOW, YOU COULD RENT MOVIES AND WATCH MOVIES IN YOUR HOME.

YOU COULD ALSO RECORD ANYTHING ON TELEVISION.

WOMAN: EVEN AFTER 100 RECORDINGS, YOU'LL WONDER,

"IS IT LIVE OR IS MEMOREX?"

NARRATOR: BEGINNING A PATTERN OF EARLY ADOPTING NEW TECHNOLOGY,

THE ADULT FILM BUSINESS POUNCED ON THE VHS.

JIM STICKLEY: IF YOU SAW "BOOGIE NIGHTS," YOU'LL KNOW

THAT VHS PRETTY MUCH CHANGED EVERYTHING FOR

THE PORN INDUSTRY.

NOW, THEY COULD MAKE VERY INEXPENSIVE PORN.

I MEAN, THEY JUST NEEDED A CAMERA AND A VHS TAPE,

AND SUDDENLY THEY'RE MAKING MOVIES.

MAN: NO MORE RAINCOATS AND SNEAKING INTO ADULT THEATERS,

X-RATED VIDEOS ARE IN THE SAME STORES

THAT CARRY GONE WITH THE WIND AND PINOCCHIO.

ANDY COHEN: FOR ME, A BIG TURNING POINT WAS WHEN

I SAW ACTUAL PORN, WHEN I GOT MY HANDS ON

MY FIRST PORNO VHS.

DAVID EISENBACH: BEFORE VHS, IF YOU WANTED TO

WATCH PORN, YOU HAD TO DRIVE TO, LIKE, THE

SHADIEST SIDE OF TOWN, YOU HAD TO PARK YOUR CAR IN

A SIDE STREET, AND THEN SNEAK IN TO THIS MOVIE

THEATER AND HOPE NONE OF YOUR NEIGHBORS COULD

SEE YOU GO IN.

WOMAN: I HAD NEVER BEEN IN THAT TYPE OF THEATRE, NEVER.

BUT NOW, IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME,

PEOPLE DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, IF, I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY HERE,

I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

JIM STICKLEY: YOU COULD EVEN GO TO YOUR,

TO YOUR LOCAL VIDEO RENTAL PLACES AND THEY WOULD

HAVE THE ADULT SECTION, IT HAD THE CURTAIN IN FRONT OF IT,

A LITTLE SIGN SAID, "ADULTS ONLY,"

AND YOU COULD GO IN THERE AND PICK FROM

A WHOLE SLEW OF MOVIES.

MAN: 20 TO 30% OF OUR RENTALS IS ON X-RATED,

AND THAT IS GOING STRONGER AND STRONGER EVERY TIME.

NINA HARTLEY: IT DID JUMP-START A LOT OF SEX LIVES.

IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR BEDROOM,

"HEY, HONEY, WE CAN WATCH A MOVIE TONIGHT."

"OH, SWEETHEART."

NARRATOR: WHILE VHS MOVIES WERE SPICING UP COUPLES' SEX LIVES,

SINGLES WERE LOOKING FOR LOVE, AS THE SONG GOES,

"IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES."

HELEN FISHER: PEOPLE THINK THAT WALKING INTO A

CROWDED BAR IS THE WAY YOU COULD MEET SOMEBODY.

JERRY SPRINGER: WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE AT A BAR, AND

WHO KNOWS HOW SOBER THEY ARE AT THE MOMENT THAT

YOU'RE MEETING THEM, THE INTENTION OF GOING TO

A BAR, WHAT IS, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT.

KATE WHITE: I CAN REMEMBER GOING TO PLACES THAT WERE

FAMOUS BARS WHERE PEOPLE MET,

AND I WAS JUST SO BAD AT IT.

NO GUY WOULD TALK TO ME.

I'D MAKE ABOUT 80 TRIPS TO THE LADIES ROOM.

RAVI PATEL: I'VE NEVER WALKED INTO A CLUB AND

EVERYONE BE LIKE, "OH, I GOT TO HIT THAT."

NO, I LIKE, I CAN'T DO CLUBS BECAUSE THEY

CAN'T HEAR MY JOKES.

DAN SAVAGE: THE CULTURE REALLY CAME AROUND ONE DAY

AND CONCLUDED THAT IT WASN'T OKAY TO HIT ON

PEOPLE AT WORK OR ON THE STREET OR ON THE BUS,

AND THAT YOUR PARENTS AREN'T GONNA INTRODUCE YOU

TO YOUR FUTURE MATES OR SPOUSES ANYMORE.

SO WE NEEDED PLACES TO GO,

SPACES TO ENTER WHERE WE WERE SAYING,

"HIT ON ME, HERE I AM.

YOU CAN HIT ON ME HERE."

NARRATOR: IN 1977, THE FIRST MODEST ATTEMPT TO CREATE

A VIRTUAL SPACE FOR PEOPLE TO MEET HIT THE DATING SCENE.

NATHAN ENSMENGER: WHILE PEOPLE LOVE TO EXPERIMENT

WITH NEW TECHNOLOGIES, THOSE EXPERIMENTS DON'T

ALWAYS WORK OUT.

VIDEO DATING FOR EXAMPLE.

♪ SINGERS: IS IT YOU, IS IT ME, IS IT US, IS IT WE? ♪

♪ IT'S DATE-A-MAX, DATE-A-MAX. ♪♪

NATHAN ENSMENGER: YOU HAD TO FILM YOURSELF,

YOU HAD TO TAKE THE TAPES TO A CENTRAL REPOSITORY,

YOU HAD TO DO A MANUAL MATCHING OF INDIVIDUALS,

AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THE WHOLE PROCESS

OF MEETING THEM IN PERSON ANYWAY.

NARRATOR: GENERALLY, PEOPLE FILM THEIR PROFILES

AT A CENTRAL STUDIO, WHICH SPOOKED SOME WOULD-BE

DATERS BECAUSE THEY FELT EXPOSED.

IT ALSO MEANT STAGE FRIGHT.

MAN: HELLO, PROSPECTIVE MATE.

WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER YOU IS A LIFETIME OF HAPPINESS.

NATHAN ENSMENGER: ASKING THOSE PEOPLE TO FILM

THEMSELVES ALONE IN A ROOM AND SPONTANEOUSLY GENERATE

SOME KIND OF COMPELLING PRESENCE.

MAN: I'M VERY CLEAN AND HYGIENIC.

NATHAN ENSMENGER: SEEMS ABSURD.

MAN: I GOT A SEXY BODY AND I HAVE A GREAT CAR.

NARRATOR: VIDEO DATING BY VHS TAPE WAS ONE OF SEXUAL

TECHNOLOGY'S DEAD ENDS, BUT IT'S BASIC IDEA OF

MAKING LOVE MATCHES BY LINKING PROFILES WAS ABOUT

TO BECOME A GAME CHANGER.

WOMAN: WHEN IT COMES TO MEETING SOMEONE GREAT ONLINE,

THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE TO GO.

MAN: YOU MUST HAVE THIS.

WOMAN: ALL RIGHT.

MAN: ARE YOU READY?

WOMAN: OKAY.

DAN SAVAGE: IT IS NO LONGER STIGMATIZED.

IT IS HOW IT'S DONE.

NARRATOR: BY THE 1990S, THE HUNGER FOR INSTANT

SEXUAL GRATIFICATION WAS FEEDING ON A NEW

KIND OF TECHNOLOGY.

BRYANT GUMBEL: WHAT IS INTERNET ANYWAY?

WHAT, DO YOU WRITE TO IT LIKE MAIL?

KATIE COURIC: ALISON, CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT INTERNET IS?

BRYANT GUMBEL: NO, SHE CAN'T SAY ANYTHING IN 10 SECONDS OR LESS.

WOMAN: OH.

NARRATOR: WHAT WOULD SEDUCE THE GREATER PART OF HUMANITY?

IT STARTED OFF SNAIL-LIKE AND HARSH-SOUNDING.

DON LEMON: IT TOOK FOREVER WITH THE, YOU KNOW,

[DIAL UP CONNECTION SOUND]

WITH THE WHOLE DIAL-UP THING.

AND, OF COURSE, ONE OF THE FIRST PLACES YOU

WENT IS INTO A CHAT ROOM.

WOMAN: LOOK, THIS IS ELECTRONIC LUST.

IT'S LOTS AND LOTS OF HOT CONNECTIONS.

IT REALLY IS, IT'S GREAT!

NARRATOR: INTERNET USAGE MULTIPLIED LIKE FRISKY RABBITS.

IN 1995, JUST 14% OF AMERICANS WERE ONLINE.

TWO YEARS LATER, THE NUMBER'S MORE THAN DOUBLED TO 36%.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE INTERNET STARTED BECOMING

THE GREATEST MATCHMAKER IN SHEER NUMBERS THE WORLD

HAS EVER SEEN.

MAN: JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T FIND MY WIFE ON THE

INTERNET DOESN'T MEAN YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE

ISN'T OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

WOMAN: HI, HOW ARE YOU?

MAN: HI.

WOMAN: NO ONE CAN TELL YOU WHERE A FIRST DATE WILL LEAD.

DO YOU COOK?

MAN: YES.

NARRATOR: IN 1995, A NEW KIND OF ONLINE DATING

STARTED TO MAKE INTERNET CHAT ROOMS OBSOLETE.

WOMAN: WHEN IT COMES TO MEETING SOMEONE GREAT ONLINE,

THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE TO GO.

MAN: YOU MUST HAVE THIS.

WOMAN: ALL RIGHT.

MAN: ARE YOU READY?

WOMAN: OKAY.

MAN: ALL RIGHT, HERE IT COMES.

WOMAN: MATCH.COM.

NARRATOR: WHAT CAN END WITH ROMANTIC BLISS,

STARTS OUT WITH CRUNCHING NUMBERS.

SAM YAGAN: IN THE CONTEXT OF DATING AN ALGORITHM IS

A FORMULA THAT TAKES A LOT OF INFORMATION THAT WE

KNOW ABOUT TWO PEOPLE AND DETERMINES WHETHER WE

THINK THEY'RE GONNA BE COMPATIBLE WITH EACH OTHER.

JIM STICKLEY: AND EVERY SITE THAT HAS THESE

ALGORITHMS HAS COME UP WITH ONE THAT'S VERY

SPECIFIC THAT THEY THINK IS THE MASTER RIGHT ONE.

AND OF COURSE, THEIR SECRET SAUCE IS GONNA BE

SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN ANOTHER SITE'S SECRET SAUCE,

AND THE QUESTION IS GONNA BE, YOU KNOW,

WHO'S SECRET SAUCE IS BETTER?

NATHAN ENSMENGER: ONE OF THE APPEALS OF ONLINE

DATING IS THIS MAGICAL MYSTERY FACTOR,

THIS IDEA THAT SOMEWHERE SOMEBODY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE

BETTER CHOICES THAN YOU YOURSELF.

DR. DREW PINSKY: WHY IS IT DIFFERENT TO SEE SOMEBODY ON A,

ON A DATING PROFILE THAN TO SEE SOMEBODY

ACROSS THE ROOM IN A, IN A BAR OR A VENUE?

IT'S KIND OF THE SAME THING.

IT'S JUST A LEVEL OF EFFICIENCY.

YOU ARE SELECTING SOMEONE THEN YOU'RE MEETING THEM

IN THE FLESH, YOU'RE ASSESSING ONE ANOTHER.

HELEN FISHER: THE BOTTOM LINE IS ONLINE DATING IS

MORE NATURAL WAY TO MEET SOMEBODY THAN WALKING

INTO A BAR.

NARRATOR: THE TECHNOLOGY ALSO ALTERS THE DATING

LANDSCAPE BY SUBTRACTING SOME OF THE STING OF

FACE-TO-FACE REJECTION.

DEVYN SIMONE: IF THEY DON'T RESPOND,

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU WERE STANDING THERE IN THEIR FACE

AND THEY JUST WALKED AWAY FROM YOU,

AND YOU START TO FEEL ASHAMED OR LIKE,

"OH, MY GOD, THAT'S TERRIBLE."

IT'S LIKE, "OH, MAYBE THEY'RE BUSY,

MAYBE THEY DIDN'T SEE IT, MAYBE THEY WEREN'T INTERESTED."

THERE'S JUST SO MANY PEOPLE THAT IT'S EASIER TO

SORT OF MOVE ON FROM THAT.

HELEN FISHER: WE CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO SOMEBODY

WHO HAS THE RIGHT COLOR, SHAPE, SIZE, ET CETERA,

BUT THE ONLY REAL ALGORITHM IS YOUR OWN HUMAN BRAIN.

AS YOU GROW UP, YOU BUILD WHAT I CALL A LOVE MAP,

AN UNCONSCIOUS LIST OF WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

IN A PARTNER.

AND THEN IF THAT DATING SITE INTRODUCES YOU TO SOMEBODY,

YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT AND MEET THAT

PERSON ON A PARK BENCH, IN A COFFEE HOUSE, IN A BAR,

WHEREVER YOU MEET THEM AND YOUR ANCIENT HUMAN BRAIN

WILL CLICK INTO ACTION AND YOU WILL COURT THE WAY WE

DID A MILLION YEARS AGO.

KATIE COURIC: THERE WAS A TIME WHERE PEOPLE WOULD

BE SO MORTIFIED TO PUT THEIR NAME ON A WEBSITE

AND TRY TO MEET PEOPLE THROUGH THE COMPUTER BUT

I READ AN ARTICLE NOT TOO LONG AGO IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

IT SAID, SO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE THINK THIS IS NO BIG WHOOP.

SAM YAGAN: I THINK THE BIGGEST THING THAT HAS

SORT OF ERASED THE CULTURAL TABOO AND MADE IT

TOTALLY MAINSTREAM TO BE ONLINE DATING IS THE FACT

THAT SO MANY PEOPLE ARE DOING IT.

THAT MOST PEOPLE SAY,

"OKAY, WELL, IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY FRIEND,

OR MY SISTER, OR MY MOM, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME."

DEVYN SIMONE: IF YOU HAVEN'T WRAPPED YOUR MIND AROUND

THE FACT THAT ONLINE DATING IS HERE TO STAY,

NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO DO IT.

NARRATOR: IN FACT, A RECENT STUDY OUT OF NEW

SOUTH WALES SHOWS THAT 80% OF GAY MEN FIND THEIR

BOYFRIENDS USING INTERNET DATING TECHNOLOGY.

DAN SAVAGE: IT IS NO LONGER STIGMATIZED.

IT IS HOW IT'S DONE.

NARRATOR: AS ONLINE DATING SPREAD WORLDWIDE,

EACH NATION TAILORED IT TO THEIR OWN CULTURE.

FOR SELF-EFFACING ENGLISH DATERS, A WEBSITE FOR

"AESTHETICALLY AVERAGE PEOPLE CAUGHT ON."

THE JAPANESE GOVERNMENT FOUNDED THEIR OWN

STATE-RUN DATING SITE TO BOOST THE COUNTRY'S

SAGGING FERTILITY RATE.

AND IN INDIA, ONLINE DATING COLLIDED WITH

AGE OLD TRADITIONS OF COURTSHIP.

MAN: FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER TO SPEND YOUR LIFE

WITH IS QUITE DIFFICULT AND STRESSFUL.

RAVI PATEL: MY PARENTS NEVER DATED,

THEY WERE ARRANGED, THEN THEY GOT MARRIED,

THEN THEY FELL IN LOVE AFTER YEARS OF MARRIAGE,

AND THEY MADE IT WORK.

THEY DIDN'T HAVE THAT MANY CHOICES.

TRADITIONALLY IN INDIA,

THE FAMILIES WOULD INTERVIEW EACH OTHER,

THE INDIVIDUALS MAY OR MAY NOT EVEN BE INVOLVED

FOR THOSE INTERVIEWS AND IT'S A LOT LIKE A MERGER,

LIKE A BUSINESS MERGER.

AND THEN ONCE THEY FIGURE OUT THE DETAILS LINED UP,

CLOSE THE DEAL.

AND THE YOUNGER WESTERNIZED CULTURE IN INDIA,

THEY'RE ENTIRELY COMFORTABLE WITH DATING,

THEY'RE NOT LOOKING TO GET ARRANGED,

YET AT THE SAME TIME,

THEIR PARENTS HAVE NO CONCEPT OF DATING OR AT

LEAST IT'S NOT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.

SO YOU HAVE SPECIFICALLY INDIAN SITES THAT ARE

MEANT TO BRING INDIANS TOGETHER.

SHAADI.COM IS PROBABLY THE MOST TRADITIONAL.

NARRATOR: NO PRIVATELY PUNCHING UP YOUR DATING

PROFILE HERE, THE WHOLE FAMILY CHECKS IN

AT THE REGISTRATION CENTER.

WOMAN: WHAT HAPPENS AT THE CENTER IS BASICALLY

PARENTS WOULD REGISTER FOR THEIR CHILDREN.

AND NATURALLY, PARENTS ARE NOT SO COMPUTER SAVVY,

THEY NEED HELP SO THEN OUR ADVISERS HELP THEM FOR THAT.

MAN: WE DIDN'T TRY TO CHANGE THE WAY MATRIMONY WAS DONE.

WE USED THE INTERNET AS A MEDIUM TO EXPAND THE SCOPE

OF WHAT WAS POSSIBLE.

NARRATOR: AROUND THE WORLD, ONLINE DATING

DIDN'T JUST CATER TO A PARTICULAR NATIONAL

CULTURE BUT TO SEEMINGLY EVERY SUBCULTURE.

DOG: WHY ARE YOU DATING A CITY GIRL?

MAN: I DON'T KNOW, BUDDY.

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

NARRATOR: THERE WERE DATING SITES FOR FARMERS,

TALL PEOPLE, THE AMISH, AND CLOWNS,

JUST TO NAME A FEW.

AND THEN ONE WEBSITE ROCKED THE INTERNET WHEN

IT CLAIMED TO HELP CHEATERS FIND HOOKUPS.

NARRATOR: THE MOST NOTORIOUS ONLINE DATING

WEBSITE IS ONE THAT SEEMS TO GLORY IN ITS AMORALITY.

JIM STICKLEY: ASHLEY MADISON IS A WEBSITE

THAT'S DEDICATED TO HELPING PEOPLE CHEAT ON

THEIR SPOUSES, AND THAT'S THEIR SOLE PURPOSE,

THEY'RE VERY UPFRONT ABOUT IT.

THEY COME STRAIGHT OUT AND SAY,

"WE ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE."

AND THEY HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT USE IT.

NARRATOR: IN ITS FIRST 10 YEARS, THE WEBSITE

REPORTEDLY GREW TO 39 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS

IN DOZENS OF COUNTRIES.

SUGGESTING CHEATING IS NEARLY AS UNIVERSAL AS SEX.

ROBERT WEISS: ASHLEY MADISON HAS FACILITATED

THE IDEA THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH

PARTS OF YOUR MARRIAGE THAT ARE DIFFICULT OR

CHALLENGING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A VICTIM OF

YOUR RELATIONSHIP, JUST CHEAT.

HELEN FISHER: MAYBE SOME OF THE PEOPLE PILING ONTO

ASHLEY MADISON ARE INDEED SAYING, "OH, I GUESS, IF

EVERYBODY ELSE CAN DO THIS, I CAN DO THIS TOO."

NINA HARTLEY: MOST PEOPLE WHO CHEAT, DO NOT WANT TO

BREAK UP THEIR MARRIAGE, THEY JUST,

ARE LOOKING FOR INTIMACY,

THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIND IT WITH THEIR PARTNER.

IT'S A LITTLE LESS SCARY TO TURN TO YOUR PARTNER AND SAY,

"I NEED TO TALK ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE."

HELEN FISHER: I THINK THE GREAT 21ST CENTURY ISSUE IS,

TO WHAT DEGREE DO WE WANT INTIMACY AND

TO WHAT DEGREE DO WE WANT AUTONOMY.

THE HUMAN ANIMAL DOES NOT COPE WITH ADULTERY WELL.

WE ARE A JEALOUS ANIMAL.

AND IF YOU'RE CAUGHT,

THERE'S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY.

NARRATOR: IN ONLINE DATING,

THE PROMISE OF DISCRETION IS A TURN ON.

BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE FIREWALL OF PRIVACY

IS SUDDENLY BREACHED?

PAMELA BROWN: A WEBSITE THAT ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO

CHEAT ON THEIR PARTNERS IS REELING FROM A HUGE DATA BREACH.

TENS OF MILLIONS OF UNFAITHFUL CUSTOMERS COULD BE EXPOSED.

JIM STICKLEY: A HACK GROUP WAS ABLE TO STEAL THE

CUSTOMER DATA FROM ASHLEY MADISON OF EVERY

ONE OF THEIR SUBSCRIBERS.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: SOMEONE ESSENTIALLY TRIED TO

BLACKMAIL THEM AND SAY, "LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T SHUT

THIS WEBSITE DOWN, WE HAVE ACCESS TO ALL YOUR

MEMBERS' INFORMATION AND WE'RE GONNA RELEASE

THAT INFORMATION TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC."

JIM STICKLEY: ASHLEY MADISON SAID, "NO WAY."

IN THE MEANTIME, I IMAGINE THERE WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT

THERE WHO BECAME VERY, VERY NERVOUS OVERNIGHT,

AND RIGHTFULLY SO, BECAUSE ABOUT A MONTH LATER,

THE HACK GROUP RELEASED 30 MILLION ACCOUNTS.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: EVERYONE JUMPED ON THE FEEDING

FRENZY TO SEE WHO WAS ON THE LIST

AND WHO THEY COULD OUT.

TED BRIDIS: THEY CAME FROM QUITE A FEW FEDERAL AGENCIES,

JUSTICE DEPARTMENT, HOMELAND SECURITY,

THE STATE DEPARTMENT, THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT,

EVEN THE EXECUTIVE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT IN THE WHITEHOUSE.

NARRATOR: THE HIGH PROFILE MEMBERSHIP LEAK

WAS ONLY THE FIRST REVELATION ABOUT THE SITE.

RESEARCHERS FOUND THAT UP TO 70,000 OF THE FEMALE

SUBSCRIBERS WERE BOTS OR COMPUTER GENERATED

FAKE PROFILES.

ANDY COHEN: YOU HAD ALL THESE STRAIGHT GUYS

THINKING WITH THEIR [BLEEP].

ALL THE GUYS GOT BUSTED AND THE WOMEN DIDN'T EXIST.

ANN COULTER: IT WAS JUST THESE DORKS GOING ONLINE

AND SOMEBODY FAKE-WRITING BACK TO THEM.

NARRATOR: FURTHER DIGGING REVEALED THAT OUT OF

FIVE AND A HALF MILLION FEMALE MEMBERS,

ONLY A FEW THOUSAND WERE FLESH AND BLOOD WOMEN

INSTEAD OF BOTS.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: AND THEN AT THE SAME TIME THIS

DIDN'T HURT ASHLEY MADISON'S BUSINESS,

THIS WAS FREE PUBLICITY.

MEMBERSHIP ACTUALLY WENT UP AT ASHLEY MADISON,

NOT DOWN.

ROBERT WEISS: I USED TO KNOW WHAT INFIDELITY WAS.

IT WAS WHEN ME AND SOMEBODY ELSE WERE HANGING

OUT IN THE COPY ROOM AT WORK AND WE WERE KIND OF

SMOOCHING AND I MIGHT HAVE SOME LIPSTICK

ON MY COLLAR WHEN I CAME HOME.

I MEAN, INFIDELITY WAS A PERSONAL ACT THAT WAS

GOING ON BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE IN LIVE, REAL TIME.

WHAT IS INFIDELITY IN THE DIGITAL AGE?

NARRATOR: THE INTERNET IS CHALLENGING TRADITIONAL

NOTIONS OF CHEATING WITH THE ADVENT OF A

WORLDWIDE PHENOMENON, ONLINE ROLE PLAYING.

BRIAN WILLIAMS: ONE OF THE FASTEST GROWING SITES ON

THE INTERNET IS A 3D WORLD CALLED SECOND LIFE.

NARRATOR: THIS ROLE PLAYING SITE AND ITS

SIMULATED WORLDS LAUNCHED IN 2003.

IT QUICKLY GREW TO A MILLION USERS WHO INTERACT

WITH ONE ANOTHER THROUGH IDEALIZED VERSIONS

OF THEMSELVES CALLED AVATARS.

THEY CAN DO EVERYTHING FROM GOING TO CHURCH.

MAN: NATHAN CARLINE IS ATTENDING CHURCH IN VIRTUAL REALITY.

NARRATOR: TO HAVING A TRYST WITH OTHER USERS.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: IF YOU CREATE A KIND OF PERSONA

OUT THERE IN A PLACE LIKE SECOND LIFE, IT GIVES

YOU THIS TREMENDOUS FREEDOM TO MAYBE DO THINGS

IN THAT WORLD THAT YOU CAN'T DO IN THE REAL WORLD.

♪

NARRATOR: ONLINE SEXUAL ROLE PLAYING FULLY ENGAGES

THE EMOTIONS AND FANTASIES ATTACHED TO

SEX WITHOUT ANY FLESH TO FLESH CONTACT.

BUT IT'S SO CONVINCING THAT IT CAN

TRIGGER THE GUILT IN SECRECY OF CHEATING.

ROBERT WEISS: CLEARLY, WHAT THE INTERNET HAS

OFFERED IS A FASTER, EASIER, MORE ANONYMOUS WAY

TO GET YOURSELF CAUGHT UP IN POTENTIAL PLEASURES

THAT ARE PROBLEMATIC FOR SOME PEOPLE AND NOT FOR OTHERS.

THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE THAN THERE WERE IN THE PAST

GETTING HOOKED AND STUCK IN THIS FANTASY-BASED WORLD.

DAN SAVAGE: THEY'RE GONNA JUST CREATE A

SPACE WHERE PEOPLE WHO, YOU KNOW, WE'RE A FANTASIZING

SPECIES WHERE PEOPLE COULD GATHER TOGETHER AND

FANTASIZE TOGETHER RATHER THAN JUST FANTASIZING ALONE.

BEING IN SECOND LIFE AND [BLEEP] SOMEBODY ELSE

VIRTUALLY IS NOT CHEATING, IT'S FANTASIZING.

WE ALL FANTASIZE.

WE FANTASIZE ABOUT MURDERING OUR BOSS, RIGHT?

THAT AIN'T ACTUALLY MURDER.

NARRATOR: BUT HOW DO YOU DEFINE A RELATIONSHIP THAT

INVOLVES SEX IN REAL TIME WITH LIVE CAMERAS?

IVY AURA: WELL, HI TO YOU TOO, I'M IVY.

NINA HARTLEY: THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

TRADITIONAL PORN AND CAMMING IS IMMEDIACY,

IT'S REAL TIME.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: YOU GO TO ONE OF THESE SITES,

AND YOU CLICK ONE PERSON, AND YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION

OVER THE INTERNET.

IVY AURA: MOST CAM MODELS, WHAT WE DO IS WE GET NAKED

AND WE MASTURBATE.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: THE PERSON DOING THE CAMMING

IS CREATING A FANTASY FOR YOU BUT IT'S ALSO STILL A JOB.

I THINK THAT CAM GIRLS PROVIDE A KIND OF UNIQUE EXPERIENCE,

THEY CAN BE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU ON

THAT SCREEN AND TALK BACK TO YOU,

LISTEN TO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, AND ADJUST WHAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY

DOING TO THEMSELVES ACCORDINGLY.

IVY AURA: IT'S NICE PEOPLE JUST GO ON AND TALK

TO PEOPLE AND JUST KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT

ALONE IN THE WORLD, I GUESS.

IT WAS FUN HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

NARRATOR: CAM GIRLS CULTIVATE RETURN CUSTOMERS

AS A WAY TO MAKE A DEPENDABLE INCOME.

AND THAT'S THE POINT WHERE WEBCAMMING BECOMES A NEW

KIND OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.

NINA HARTLEY: YOU DEVELOP REGULARS IN CAMMING THE

WAY YOU DEVELOP REGULARS IN A STRIP CLUB,

THE WAY YOU DEVELOP REGULARS AS A BARISTA.

IVY AURA: REGULARS ARE AWESOME.

THEY'RE THE PEOPLE THAT CAN COME IN YOUR ROOM FOR WEEKS,

MONTHS, EVEN YEARS, AND THEY'RE GONNA BE CONSISTENT.

NO, THAT'S AWESOME.

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

DR. DREW PINSKY: THERE IS THIS PSEUDO-INTIMACY,

THERE IS NOT JUST THE AROUSAL, THE SEXUAL AROUSAL,

THERE'S SOMETHING THAT FEELS LIKE A

RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS PARTICULARLY DISTURBING.

IVY AURA: I TRY AND MAKE SURE THAT BOUNDARY IS

THERE AND THAT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT I'M NOT

INTERESTED IN HAVING A, LIKE, RELATIONSHIP,

BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHERE THEY CROSS THE BOUNDARY,

THEY DO TRY AND STALK AND HARASS ME.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: THE CLIENTS WHO FALL IN LOVE

WITH THEIR CAM GIRLS, THEY'RE JUST CONFUSING THE

LINES THERE BECAUSE I THINK THAT YOU GET THIS,

SORT OF, FEEDBACK AND THIS WARMTH AND THAT CAN ALL BE

AUTHENTIC BUT IT DOESN'T ALSO MEAN THAT YOU HAVE A

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PERSON WHO GAVE YOU THAT EXPERIENCE.

NARRATOR: BOUNDARIES ARE CRUMBLING ALL OVER THE

DIGITAL LANDSCAPE.

BUT NOW, WHAT QUALIFIES THIS TOO MUCH INSTANT GRATIFICATION?

TRISTAN TAORMINO: WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE WE WANT

WHAT WE WANT AND WE WANT IT RIGHT NOW,

AND FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE,

TINDER CATERS TO THAT.

BRIAN GERRARD: TINDER IS ABOUT CASUAL SEX,

QUICK AND EASY TO GET TO.

MAN: TODAY, ORBITING SATELLITES PROVIDE ROUND

THE CLOCK, ULTRA PRECISE POSITION FIXES FROM SPACE.

WOMAN: INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT'S SURROUNDING YOU CAN

BE SENT TO YOUR CELL PHONE.

MAN: AND I'M LOOKING AT RESTAURANTS THAT ARE NEAR

WHERE WE'RE STANDING RIGHT NOW.

NARRATOR: WHEN THE FIRST CELL PHONE EQUIPPED WITH

GPS DEBUTED IN EUROPE IN 1999, IT COULD LOCATE A

PERSON'S EXACT POSITION ON THE PLANET.

IN LESS THAN A DECADE, THEY COULD ALSO PINPOINT

YOUR NEXT POSSIBLE DATE.

SAM YAGAN: PROXIMITY IS SUPER IMPORTANT BECAUSE WE

HAVE YOUR GPS, WE ACTUALLY KNOW HOW CLOSE YOU ARE AND

KNOWING THAT THERE ARE THREE PEOPLE YOU COULD

MEET RIGHT NOW FOR A DATE IS REALLY APPEALING.

NARRATOR: THE GAY DATING APP GRINDR CAME FIRST IN 2009,

FOLLOWED THREE YEARS LATER BY THE RUNAWAY PHENOMENON, TINDER.

TRISTAN TAORMINO: WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE WE WANT

WHAT WE WANT AND WE WANT IT RIGHT NOW,

AND FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, TINDER CATERS TO THAT.

ANDY COHEN: IT'S LIKE A VIDEO GAME WITH REAL

TANGIBLE RESULTS FOR THE WINNER.

BRIAN GERRARD: WHAT MADE TINDER SO REVOLUTIONARY

WAS THE FACT THAT IT WAS MUTUAL OPT-IN.

YOU SWIPE LEFT ON A USER YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN

AND YOU SWIPE RIGHT ON THOSE WHO YOU ARE INTERESTED IN.

IF TWO USERS SWIPE RIGHT ON EACH OTHER,

IT RESULTS IN A MATCH AND THEY COULD BEGIN CHATTING.

DANIEL: IF YOU HAVE PICTURES WITH YOUR DOG,

I'M SWIPING RIGHT EVERY TIME.

IF YOU HAVE A SHIRTLESS PIC, SWIPE LEFT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE SAID,

"HELLO, NICE BEARD," WHICH IS, LIKE,

SYNONYMOUS OF NICE [BLEEP] THESE DAYS APPARENTLY.

BRIAN GERRARD: IT'S ABOUT, HOW CAN I FIND A GIRL OR

GUY TONIGHT IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS BECAUSE I DIDN'T

MEET ANYBODY AT THE BAR, THAT'S THE CULTURE.

DEVYN SIMONE: I MET MY FIANCE ON TINDER AND

I NEVER WOULD'VE MET MY FIANCE IF IT WEREN'T FOR

TINDER BECAUSE WE DIDN'T RUN IN THE SAME CIRCLES.

I ALMOST SWIPED LEFT ON HIM BECAUSE HE HAD NO

FRIENDS IN HIS PHOTOS AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS WEIRD,

BUT I FIGURED WHY NOT, AND 14 MONTHS LATER,

WE WERE ENGAGED.

SAM YAGAN: AND IN THE CASE WHERE SOMEONE DOES FIND

A LONG TERM FITTED RELATIONSHIP THAT ENDS

IN A MARRIAGE OR WHATEVER, THEN GUESS WHAT,

WE ARE PART OF THAT COUPLE'S STORY FOREVER.

AND WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, "HOW DID YOU MEET?"

THEY'RE GONNA SAY, "I MET ON TINDER.

I MET ON MATCH."

ANN COULTER: I THINK TINDER SOUNDS SO FANTASTIC.

IF I WERE NOT A PUBLIC FIGURE,

I WOULD TOTALLY DO TINDER.

NARRATOR: BUT LIKE MOST TECHNOSEXUAL BREAKTHROUGHS,

MOBILE DATING APPS CAN SHORT CIRCUIT

PEOPLE'S SEXUAL WIRING.

RAVI PATEL: WHEN I FIRST STARTED TINDER,

I WAS LIKE, "OH, REALLY DISCERNING,"

LIKE, KIND OF, DELIBERATE, EACH, BUT THEN OVER TIME,

YOU REALIZE IT'S A VOLUME GAME AND YOU'RE JUST, LIKE,

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.

ANN COULTER: I HAVE FRIENDS WHO DO IT AND

THEY MEET DIFFERENT GUYS FOR COFFEE ALL DAY.

BRIAN GERRARD: I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THERE

IS SUCH THING AS TOO MANY HOOKUPS WHERE WE'LL

ACTUALLY START TO HAVE THE NEGATIVE EFFECT.

THE NUMBER ONE WORD I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY

LEAVE A HOOK UP AND YOU KNOW THAT IT'S

BECOME TOO MUCH IS EMPTY.

RAVI PATEL: I WAS, KIND OF, TEARING THROUGH WOMEN

AND I REALIZE THAT, LIKE, THERE WAS, LIKE,

A DIFFERENT, KIND OF, CHEMICAL RELATIONSHIP

I HAD WITH WOMEN, ALMOST LIKE I'D COMMODITIZED THEM.

ANDY COHEN: YOU BECOME DESENSITIZED WHEN THERE'S

SO MANY CUTE PEOPLE THAT YOU'RE JUST SWIPING THROUGH,

SO IT'S ALL VERY, JUST EMPTY.

NARRATOR: IN 2014, TINDER CEO CLAIMED THAT

THEY REACHED THE STAGGERING MILESTONE OF

ONE BILLION MATCHES.

BRIAN GERRARD: JUST KNOW THAT FROM THE BUSINESS PERSPECTIVE,

THERE ARE DATING APPS OUT THERE THAT

PROFIT OFF OF THE ABILITY OF PEOPLE TO NOT GET MATCHES.

CORPORATIONS ARE DEFINITELY TRYING TO

CREATE A HOOKUP CULTURE, BECAUSE IF YOU'RE HOOKING UP,

YOU CAN DO THAT FOREVER.

THE LONGER YOU STAY ON THE APP,

THE MORE ADVERTISEMENTS THEY CAN SERVE TO YOU.

DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER: IF I WERE A LITTLE DICTATOR,

I WOULD FORBID THEM BUT I CAN'T FORBID THEM SO WE

HAVE TO USE THEM IN, INTELLIGENTLY.

HELEN FISHER: A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE AFRAID THAT

TECHNOLOGY IS CHANGING SEX AND CHANGING LOVE.

IT CAN'T CHANGE THESE BRAIN CIRCUITS.

THESE BRAIN CIRCUITS ARE, LIKE,

THE FEAR SYSTEM AND THE ANGER SYSTEM IN THE BRAIN.

THEY EVOLVE MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO.

THEY'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE.

BUT COURTSHIP IS CHANGING,

TECHNOLOGY IS CHANGING HOW WE COURT.

NARRATOR: SO HOW WILL WE COPE WITH THE NEXT WAVE OF

HYPER-REAL SYNTHESIZE SEX?

PETER RUBIN: AT SOME POINT TECHNOLOGY IS GONNA

PROGRESS TO THE POINT WHERE A VIRTUAL OR DIGITAL

EXPERIENCE IS GONNA BE PERCEPTUALLY

INDISTINGUISHABLE IN EVERY WAY FROM A REAL ONE.

SO WHAT HAPPENS THEN?

NARRATOR: BACK WHEN THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION BEGAN,

THIS IS AS CLOSE AS WE GOT TO THREE-DIMENSIONAL

VIRTUAL REALITY.

FLASH FORWARD TO 65 YEARS OF TECHNOLOGICAL PROGRESS.

ELA DARLING: MY NAME IS ELA DARLING,

WELCOME TO MY BEDROOM IN VIRTUAL REALITY.

I LOVE TAKING PEOPLE'S VRGINITY.

IT IS SO FUN WATCHING PEOPLE TRY VIRTUAL REALITY

FOR THE FIRST TIME.

GO AHEAD.

TAKE A LOOK AROUND.

WOMAN: OH.

MAN: WOW.

ELA DARLING: VIRTUAL REALITY IS A NEW KIND OF

TECHNOLOGY WHERE YOU PUT ON SOMETHING THAT CALLED

THE HEAD-MOUNTED DISPLAY AND THEY'RE A BINOCULAR

SCREEN SO THERE IS ONE IMAGE SENT TO YOUR RIGHT

EYE AND ONE IMAGE SENT TO YOUR LEFT EYE SO IT'S 3D

AND YOU PUT IT ON.

AND WHEN YOU LOOK AROUND, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE

ACTUALLY IN ANOTHER SPACE, YOU CAN SEE THE THINGS

THAT YOU WOULD SEE IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY TURNING YOUR

HEAD IN THE SPACE THAT YOU'RE SEEING.

PETER RUBIN: IF IT'S DONE RIGHT, THEN YOUR BRAIN IS

REALLY GONNA BELIEVE YOU'RE IN THERE,

AND MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT IS YOUR BODY IS GOING TO

REACT CONSISTENTLY WITH WHAT YOUR BRAIN IS THINKING.

SO IF YOU WERE IN VR AND YOU WERE STANDING AT THE

EDGE OF A BUILDING, AND SOMEBODY ASK YOU TO TAKE

A STEP OFF, YOUR RATIONAL BRAIN WOULD TELL YOU THAT

IT'S OKAY TO DO IT BUT I HAVE MYSELF EXPERIENCED THIS,

YOU WON'T TAKE THAT STEP FORWARD FOR THE LIFE OF YOU.

ELA DARLING: WITH VIRTUAL REALITY, YOU CAN FEEL LIKE

YOU'RE AT THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN OR AT THE BOTTOM

OF THE SEA, YOU CAN FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN SPACE,

YOU CAN FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN SOMEONE'S BEDROOM.

THIS IS MY ACTUAL BEDROOM WHERE I REALLY SLEEP AND

[BLEEP] EVERY DAY AND YOU CAN SEE ME HERE ANYTIME

LIVE IN VR.

DR. DREW PINSKY: I'M VERY CONCERN ABOUT VIRTUAL REALITY.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND VIRTUAL REALITY

IS SUBTLE FOR OUR BRAIN,

THESE ARE INSTRUMENTS THAT ARE JUST ACCUMULATING SENSORY

INFORMATION AND TRYING TO RESPOND FROM A

CORE SENSE OF SELF.

WE ARE NOT EVOLVED FOR THIS.

MAN: HEY BROS, NEED SOMETHING TO LIVEN

UP THE OFFICE?

MAN 2: YEAH, I GUESS SO.

MAN: WELL, TRY THE ALL NEW VR PORN AT PORNHUB.COM.

MAN 2: HEY, GIVE ME THAT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

DR. DREW PINSKY: IT ONLY MAKES SENSE THAT

WE CAN GET LOST IN THE VIRTUAL WORLD.

ELA DARLING: I'M WAITING FOR YOU.

DR. DREW PINSKY: SOME MEN MAY CEASE TO WALK AMONGST US.

THEY'RE JUST OUT THERE IN THEIR VIRTUAL LIFE.

PETER RUBIN: I'VE SEEN A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY, AFTER

THEY CONSUMED VR PORN FOR THE FIRST TIME,

"I CAN IMAGINE WHY ANYBODY WOULD TRY IT ANY OTHER WAY."

YOU'RE NOT IN YOUR HOME ANYMORE WHEN YOU

PUT ON A VR DEVICE.

YOU ARE IN THE ROOM WHERE THIS PORN EXPERIENCE WAS CREATED.

NARRATOR: THIS NEW FORM OF REALITY IS SO PERSUASIVE

THAT IF YOU DARE, IT CAN CHALLENGE YOUR DEEPEST

ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT SEX.

ELA DARLING: I HAD A FRIEND WHO'D HAD HIS FIRST

VR EXPERIENCE AND IT WAS A FEMALE POINT OF VIEW PORN

WHERE HE FELT LIKE HE WAS IN A FEMALE BODY HAVING

SEX WITH A DUDE, AND WHEN HE WAS IN THAT MOMENT,

HE FELT VULNERABLE, HE FELT VIOLATED.

IT COMPLETELY CHANGED THE WAY THAT HE SEES SEX

AND IT CHANGED THE WAY THAT HE HAS SEX WITH WOMEN.

AND ONE VIRTUAL REALITY PORN SCENE WAS ENOUGH TO

DO THAT AND THAT'S INCREDIBLE.

PETER RUBIN: AT SOME POINT, TECHNOLOGY IS GOING

TO PROGRESS TO THE POINT WHERE A VIRTUAL EXPERIENCE

IS GONNA BE PERCEPTUALLY INDISTINGUISHABLE IN EVERY

WAY FROM A REAL ONE.

SO WHAT HAPPENS THEN?

NARRATOR: OF COURSE, THE BEST TECHNOLOGY WILL

ALWAYS BE A POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR GOOD SEX,

BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP THE JUGGERNAUT AT THE DIGITAL AGE.

IT OVER GRATIFIES OUR SENSES WHILE PROBING FOR

WEAKNESSES IN OUR PERSONAL INTIMACIES.

LIKE IT OR NOT,

HUMAN BEINGS ARE PERMANENTLY WIRED FOR SEX.

ROBERT WEISS: I'M ALWAYS AMUSED WHEN I HEAR PEOPLE

MY AGE TALKING ABOUT WHAT KIDS ARE

DOING TODAY AROUND SEX.

OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE SEXTING EACH OTHER AND OH,

MY GOD, THEY HAVE ACCESS TO ALL THESE SEXUAL IMAGES.

MY GENERATION DOESN'T REMEMBER WHAT OUR PARENTS

SAID ABOUT SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK AND ROLL.

DAN SAVAGE: TECHNOLOGY DISCONNECTS US, PEOPLE SAY,

BUT EVERYWHERE, THERE'S EVIDENCE THAT

PEOPLE USE TECHNOLOGY TO FIND CONNECTION.

EVERYTHING AT OUR DISPOSAL,

WE SEEM TO EMPLOY TO CONNECT.

DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER: ALL OF THESE NEW INVENTIONS,

THEY SHOULD BE USED BUT THEY HAVE TO

BE USED WITH INTELLIGENCE.

ESTER PEREL: I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE WHO LIVES

IN TODAY'S ERA THAT WOULD LIKE TO GO BACKWARDS.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT WHERE WE ARE AT IS PROBLEM-FREE.

SO IS THE CHANGE POSITIVE?

THE CHANGE JUST IS.

DR. DREW PINSKY: WE NEED TO USE THIS IN WAYS THAT

DON'T SEPARATE US,

DON'T MAKE US EMPTY BUT BRING US TOGETHER.

DAVID EISENBACH: WE CAN CONNECT, WE CAN COMMUNICATE,

AND THERE IS NO SHUTTING THAT DOWN.