Original subtitles

MILK, COCOA AND CEREALS! THAT'S A MORNING MEAL

POST

THIS IS PETROL

DELICIOUS. I EAT THEM ALL THE TIME

THANKS, WE'RE SO PLEASED!

- WHAT A GOOD BREAKFAST - THANK YOU VERY MUCH

WE'RE PLEASED YOU LIKE IT

A DELICIOUS SNACK

GOOD MORNING FRIENDS

ENJOY YOUR BREAKFAST

AH, TOO NICE!

I CAN'T EAT THEM, I'M DIABETIC

1 NEW COMMENT

DISPLAY

A REALLY SHITTY SNACK MAKES YOU WANNA CACK

"Thank you for sharing your opinion, Fulvio."

A REALLY SHITTY SNACK MAKES YOU WANNA CACK - DELETE

"It will definitely help us become better people."

DELETE THE USER'S COMMENT? THE COMMENT WAS DELETED

My life is so beautiful.

SMALL FISH

Guys, the flatbreads are here!

Ciro, sorry I'm late.

I'm mortified, look.

Giovanni, don't worry, it's no problem.

Good things come to those who wait, though,

so here's my best flatbread for my best customer.

- Giovanni, thank you, it's just... - You don't have to say it.

When I get up to go to work I think of people like you

who know how to appreciate quality.

That's very nice of you, Giovanni.

- Eat it before it gets cold. - Yes, I'll eat it now.

- Have you got cutlery? - Yes, I brought some.

- With a rounded tip. - Good man.

- The usual tomorrow, speck, rocket? - And nuts.

Good man, I love you, Ciro.

- I love you too. - Bye, guys.

I have a flatbread for Guliano.

You're pathetic.

- Tuesday PPM 12 noon. - Then?

We have to buy some footage of the city from above

because we can't afford a drone.

- And the third thing. - What?

- The money. - Money...

- Money for a present for... - Ciro.

Alfredo.

Don't worry, I'll collect it, you eat now, eh?

- Anyone want some flatbread? - I'm not swapping today.

- Ask Greta as well for the present. - Alright.

- No, Greta, no. - Why not?

We don't know really her.

- What do you mean? - Then we'll have to give her a gift.

23 May.

What if she doesn't contribute for my birthday?

15 June.

That's why I don't give presents to children under 12.

You don't give people presents if you're not sure they'll reciprocate?

Because they don't have the economic capacity to do it for me.

A REALLY SHITTY SNACK MAKES YOU WANNA CACK

I vote to include Greta. Aurora, some flatbread?

No, Ciro, I'm not swapping my lunch. Fabio?

I got it, Aurora, I'll ask Greta for ten euros.

It's 15, it's gone up.

15 euros? Is Alfredo getting married now?

Fru, please.

I'm already nervous today and this guy keeps commenting.

For 14 months you've ordered the same flatbread from Giovanni,

with speck and rocket, and then you ask us to swap.

Ciro, you're just not able to say no.

- Have I ever swapped with you? - Precisely, help me.

- No way. - Why not?

It's your problem, not mine.

Ciro, sorry, take a moment tomorrow and talk to him.

Tell him...

Giovanni of the flatbreads... I don't know his surname.

Let's have a break.

- No, it would hurt him too much. - Ciro, come on...

men have to learn to live with their pain as well.

We have a problem.

Another one?

There is no bad publicity,

even hater comments are good for us.

They create interaction and engagement.

What does this Fulvio write that's so bad?

"A really shitty snack makes you wanna cack."

There's a protocol for these things, no? Fru, how are you handling it?

ARE YOU DELETING MY COMMENTS?

Remove the comment each time.

It seems they have nothing to do except comment on my posts.

"A really shitty snack makes you wanna cack."

- Because it's not the solution. - The solution is to block the user.

All right, do that.

Hi, Marione, how are you?

Good, thank you. I started very early today...

We have more important things to think about.

- I think we should talk. - With whom?

With the hater.

- Let's invite them to the office. - She's crazy.

Look, these haters are like that on the net,

- but when you talk to them... - It seems like a waste of effort.

Maybe we'll get a post, a nice story to share with the client.

A nice story where I commit murder.

You won't murder anyone.

We could get a good case history out of this.

- She's crazy too. - Well done, guys.

Actually I said it, not Fru.

Well done, all of us. We're a team.

Aurora, it's not like you can always take the credit for everything.

Sometimes this office feels like a kindergarten.

Don't involve me in this, I don't want to know about it.

What a bitch!

What a bitch!

- Fru? - What?

When someone asks me how I am,

why don't they really want to hear how I am?

Marione...

would a giraffe ever explain to a gazelle

how to eat the leaves from above the trees?

Nature is a collection of animals waiting

for others to be eaten in their place.

And they hope for it a bit as well.

- You busy? - Yes.

All right, one thing quickly.

I'm collecting money for Alfredo's present.

It's a thing we humans do...

- it's called a birthday. - I know what a birthday is.

- All right, I'm asking... - What are we giving him?

I don't know, Aurora always gets the presents.

Why?

Because Aurora...

always knows what we want, she has the best ideas...

and then Aurora's Aurora.

She's the woman... All right, anyway I'll put you on the list and then...

What if you and I choose the present this year?

Don't involve me in these things.

Come on, how hard can it be to get a present for Alfredo?

- That's Giuliano. - Fabio,

collect the money. We'll get Alfredo a great present.

- I don't want to... - We're a team!

By the way, how much per person?

- 15... eight euros. - OK.

- You wanna make it seven? - OK.

- 6.50. - OK.

I have the 50 cents as well.

- LOVE + BUDGET

Eloise, you didn't understand me.

All right, I didn't explain myself, is that alright?

It's not like I can be in two places at once, sorry.

Love, objectively, has it ever been a problem?

It's never been a problem. Why does it have to be now, sorry?

Yes, let me say...

That's enough, for God's sake!

I'm at work.

Guys?

What is it, Alfredo?

Why's she coming to me? Have I something wrong?

Maybe you did something better than her.

- A bit of flatbread? - I don't know. Do I want it?

Everything OK, yeah?

I'm working!

MATTINELLA CAMPAIGN REPORT

- Good morning, Fru. - Are they already here?

Who? There are 14 of us.

- The 'cack' hater. - He's in the meeting room.

- Can you take the coffees? - Of course I can't!

We'd be delighted

to offer you a month's supply of 'Mattinella' snacks, free.

This is to thank you for your presence here.

Did you hear that? What do you say?

They're buying your silence with snacks.

Don't encourage omertà.

We don't want to buy your silence...

We only want to make peace.

Call a truce, if you prefer.

Come on.

- Too slow. - Fulvio, be good.

Sorry.

This morning he was so happy about coming here to meet you.

- I can see that. - He also said

that his dream is to work in the social media.

Lovely. It's great that you want to do that.

He'd really like to spend a few hours with you.

- Yes. - No.

Only if he promises to stop the comments.

To accept the snacks?

To be photographed accepting the snacks?

A photo to be published on all of 'Mattinella's' social media?

Well, of course you can stay here, dear.

Are you happy?

You'll be full of snacks.

You will be, Ful... vio.

Full, like in English...

Shall we go and take the photos?

Happier.

I was right, see?

We talked to them and sorted it out.

We helped make this child a better person.

Except that this child will never be a better person,

and it's not our job to sort the world's problems.

- Already in the office we're... - Fru...

the truth is that you should learn to listen more to people.

Aurora, your words as a mentor

will undoubtedly breach my impenetrable armor.

- I'm already getting bored. - Good, so why don't you fuck off?

Listen, I have an important call now,

how about you stay with Fru?

So you can become friends, eh?

There's no way me and this loser are gonna become friends.

I agree with the little shit.

Be good.

I'll see you later, OK?

- You want a coffee? - I'm 11 years old,

caffeine's bad for me.

I know, I'll get you a cigarette as well then.

- Alfredo, you OK? - Why's she looking at me?

- Who? - Greta.

She's been checking on everything I do since yesterday.

Don't worry, relax. Go get your coffee.

- She took a picture. - Who?

- Fabio, what's going on? - Nothing.

Fabio, tell me the truth, please.

Nothing's happening. Get a coffee.

- But I've already got one. - Get another one.

Don't worry. Go and get your coffee.

No.

What do you need pens for?

Let's clarify something, you, for me, are a misunderstanding.

If it were up to me you'd be in the cemetery of the banned.

Which shows you count for anything, cos I'm here.

Look, keep talking, I'll put my headphones on

and listen to a nice podcast about the Battle of Lepanto.

You work as a social media manager and still have pens on your desk?

You're old. I would do your job much faster than you.

- I'm not listening. - But you answered me.

I just threw out a sentence that fortuitously

responds in a relevant way to what you said.

- You answered me again. - I was very lucky...

- Fru, listen... - Mario, you as well, fuck it!

There's a file in here on each of us.

It has people's tastes, distinguishing marks...

There's also an obituary, in case of a sudden loss...

we're in the hands of God...

It's perfect.

- Where did you get it? - From Aurora.

- Alfredo has a file as well. - We don't need it.

Greta, why don't we need it? Let's at least have a look.

Let's read at least an idea, a hint.

Why do we need to complicate our lives?

You're losing your hair.

You grow it long to cover your receding hairline.

Does it make you feel uncomfortable if people tell you?

- Air fryer. - Already done.

- Experience gift box... - What does experience mean?

Experience is subjective, we need something objective.

- A day at a spa gift box. - No.

Is all this vintage only because it's cheaper?

Or to acknowledge that your generation

hasn't managed to create anything new?

I'm not listening to you.

I'm working... I'm going outside.

- A food and wine tour. - Money?

- A cooking class. - Look, money's a nice gift.

Money's money, I mean...

- Pastry course. - With money you buy what you want.

Are you happy about the fact

that AI will be doing your job in two years

and you'll become completely useless?

I beg you, Fulvio, vanish from the face of the earth.

- A personalized neon light. - He has three.

- A battery-operated bottle opener. - No.

- A red air fryer? - Where would he put it...?

D'you ever think memes are the mirror of a generation with no identity?

- So your generation... - Shut up, damn you.

- A hot-air balloon ride. - No.

- Why not? - Just because!

Ciro, my friend.

- Hi. - How are you?

- I'm all right. How are you? - Tomorrow...

the usual, right? Speck, rocket...

- And nuts, like always. - Very good.

- All right, I'm going. - Look, Giovanni, hang on.

- I need to talk to you for a moment. - What do you need to tell me?

Maybe in private.

No, sorry... what do you need to tell me?

- Who's this kid? - Ignore him.

What's happening?

- Bye, guys. - Bye.

Hide the sandwich, this guy sells flatbreads.

- I did it. - Well done.

I told him that from tomorrow I won't be needing his flatbreads.

Well done, Ciro. See, was that so hard?

- I said I got fired. - Fired?

And tomorrow I'll go seek my fortune abroad as an emigrant.

In Wolfsburg, Germany, Lower Saxony.

If he comes tomorrow and sees you haven't gone to Wol...

I'll hide.

Hey, kid, you wanna swap for a bit of speck and rocket flatbread?

He doesn't.

Stop following me.

If you were an animal, do you know what you'd be?

- No. - Its shit.

Instead if you were a Japanese cartoon,

- do you know what you'd be? - No.

- Its shit. - OK.

- But if you were... - Fulvio, your mother's here.

- Hi, love, I'll be outside. - Let's go.

- I hope he behaved well. - An angel.

Bye, partner.

All things considered, I enjoyed myself today.

What the fuck's he doing here?

His mom brought him back because Fulvio said yesterday was good fun.

Chase him. We're not a kindergarten.

Look, it's simple, let me stay here today as well

or I'll kick up a shitstorm on the 'Mattinella' campaign.

- Help me. - I said this was a shit idea.

Listen, Fulvio, I have an important meeting now with the creatives.

You only want to take part because you like that guy.

Who, Ale?

- You're wrong, we're just friends. - You're just friends?

Because you're a shitter and you haven't told him you like him.

Listen, Fulvio,

I'd prefer to spend the day ignoring you,

but at this point I really have to say to you: you're an asshole.

You spend your time treating everyone badly, to make you feel superior

when in reality, inside you know you're a human failure,

you tell yourself over and over.

And you mask it all with this arrogant air,

and all you do is pour your pain onto others

because it comforts you a little to think everyone's as unhappy as you.

But deep down you know you are and will always be alone.

What are you doing?

Stop crying.

No, don't play the crying card, it won't work with me, OK?

Stop it.

You're embarrassing me, stop crying.

Control yourself, Fulvio.

Look, do you know what grown-ups do when they're sad?

They work.

Let me nominate you my helper for today, OK?

I'll teach you how to be a social media manager.

Will you let me delete the comments?

- Just stop all this. - OK.

I didn't think you could cry, you didn't seem... human.

What do you want for a present?

A present?

Yes, but aim low because the budget's limited.

Why are you two getting my present this year?

Just tell us what you want.

I don't know what I want.

Aurora knows what I want.

Only she knows what we want.

She even set up a WhatsApp group for your present.

Look.

She said it was important.

Why didn't you tell me?

Greta... because it's a present.

You don't say, it's a surprise.

Like... a kiss.

I mean, you don't say, "Wait, I'm..."

Wait, a kiss, it's better if you do say. Not a good example.

I thought you wanted to fire me.

You're all pale, come and get some sugar.

OK, but won't it be bad for my teeth?

We're having a drink of water and sugar, not eating a whole cake.

You worry too much.

What do you care?

Sorry for yet another group, this is for Greta's present.

I know she's just arrived and not everyone likes her,

but come on, let's get her a nice present,

she mustn't feel lonely and I think it's important to support her.

You know why I asked Mom to bring me back here today?

- No. - Aren't you curious to know?

I don't give a damn.

But if you really feel the need to tell me...

I know everyone thinks you don't care about people.

But I don't. You spent time with me.

I would love to have a friend like that.

Mom always leaves me with other people.

- You should talk about it. - With Mom?

No, with me! Of course with your mother! See? You are an idiot!

Do I look like your mother?

Fru, Giovanni of the flatbreads is coming.

If he asks, I'm in Germany, Wolfsburg, Lower Saxony.

It's a small town with an industrial area.

Fru, can I help him?

Go, and do what you do best.

Why do you have a backpack?

I'm not here.

- Where are you? - In Germany, Lower Saxony.

You could've told me, Ciro,

that my flatbreads give you the runs.

You could've told me.

You should've told him.

Giovanni, what are you saying?

I never said that.

Ciro, from today you can have my flatbreads,

but never again...

my heart.

So, did you have a good time with your little friend?

- Back tomorrow after school? - No, Mom,

I'd like to spend some time with you tomorrow, can I?

Sure!

- Only I thought you... - No, don't worry, Mom.

You forgot this.

Keep it, your desk sucks.

It was a pleasure working with you.

Too slow...

Bye, Fru.

FOR FRU

"A handwritten letter like old people used to do."

"I could have said boomer"

"but only boomers use the word boomer."

"I wanted to tell you that as a human being you suck,"

"but you were the best dad of the six I've had so far."

"Bye, partner."

Marione...

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you. Today I had lunch...

OK, let's not get carried away, it's not like I'm your therapist!

I don't want to see, I don't want to see...

A juicer!

Thank you, Aurora, I've always wanted one.

I know!

Do you have a minute?

I have to say...

For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow...

Greta, I emailed you the 'Mattinella' campaign report.

Ah, thank you.

But... I didn't want to talk to you about that.

I wanted to say that inviting the hater to the office was...

a good idea.

Keep it up.

Ah... I'll be expecting a nice present for my birthday.

Happy birthday!

Are we hiding on the terrace to cry?

What a shitty day!

What happened?

Nothing, we broke up.

She broke up with me.

Just as well you're here, Aurora.

Of course, Ale.

Otherwise what am I here for?

My little zucchini.

Flying zucchini.

I see you're shooting a documentary in the office.

They copied a video I'd made for a client.

This is March Fools' Day, like the April one, but it's in March.

There'll be all this chaos in the office for 48 hours?

- Yellow card. - Why?

- I've been smoking since I was four. - 'Petomaniac'?

- What are you doing? - The cameras from...

- are making a documentary. - So everyone copied everything.

I'll get my own back.

Subtitles: Issaverdens - Rome