Original subtitles

DISNEYCH

♪ One, two, one, two, three ♪

♪ La la la la, la la la la ♪

♪

♪ La la la la ♪

♪

♪

You know there's an up escalator.

I'm sorry, Dad, but how can you expect me

to be rational when for the first time ever

I'm going to the food court?

It's been my dream to go there,

ever since you told me about it in the car 20 minutes ago.

Ha ha! Yep, that's where we're goin'. The food court.

I'm gonna eat French fries, and pizza,

then I'm gonna put the French fries on the pizza,

then I'm gonna eat a hot dog,

and then I'll probably throw up.

You talk big for such a little feller.

This body was built for long-term food storage.

Hot dogs, corn dogs, chili dogs,

I'm comin' for ya, puppies.

A food... court?

You stand accused of eating a valuable member of our community.

How do you plead?

Guilty. And I'd do it again.

I'm sentencing you to 20 years of hard candy--

Wait! What are you doing?!

[all screaming[

Bailiff! She's clearly deranged!

Bailiff! Huh?

Aaah!

I think I'm gonna like this food court.

Okay, I think the food court is right around the corner.

Ahhh...

Just a few more steps.

Ahhh....

We're... here!

I-I don't understand.

Surprise! We're gettin' a family portrait!

I can't believe the old food court switcheroo worked!

Say "cheese."

Don't you all look pretty as a picture.

Oh, I've been waitin' for this day for so long!

This better be a quick stop.

Yeah, when are we goin' to the food court?

Oh, uh, well, we're... not.

I don't have enough cash for both.

But if you're hungry, I brought baby carrots.

- I want food court! - Food court!

What? No! It's not a vote. We're takin' the photo.

You bring me here, you put me in shoes,

and now I find out we're not even goin' to the food court?!

Papa, you lied to us?

But you said lyin' is wrong.

No, no, no, sweetie,

you see, um, lying-- lying's okay

when it's for a fun surprise.

A surprise?

Hmm. I understand.

I didn't realize I raised a dirty trickster!

Yeah! You're a dirty dad!

No, hear me out.

Time moves so fast,

and we're all gettin' older.

I mean, just look at how happy these families are.

Precious moments, preserved for all time.

I want that for us.

That was beautiful, Papa.

I wish Cricket and Gramma coulda heard it.

Huh?

See ya at the food court!

Preserve this!

They took my wallet?!

Grrr! Tilly,

I'm goin' after 'em.

Promise me you'll stay put.

I promise.

Surprise.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

All right, it should be a straight shot.

"Tasty Town."

Just remember, if you fall behind,

you get left behind!

Tough but fair.

We gotta get a move on if we're gonna blow that money

- before your dad--

Guys, come on!

Don't you wanna take the picture?

Cricket, run!

No. No!

Come on, boy, pick it up!

I'm trying, but he's too fast!

I think the anger and disappointment are powering his legs.

- I have an idea. - Aaah!

Now scram!

You two get back here! Whoa!

Huh?

Eau de parfum sample?

Free sample? Free sample!

What? No!

- Free hairstyling? - Try our new body spray?

- Free personality test? - Everybody needs a gyro-copter!

- No!!!

Good-bye, shoes, and hello, food court!

Hah!

Are you shopping for someone special?

Yes. Me.

These ones are real dandy.

They sure are.

Finally gonna make a sale!

I think I'll take these and these

and these.

No one ever buys those!

I'll take this thing, too.

That's not even for sale.

But please, take it!

Okay, I'm done.

You're gonna buy 'em all?!

Yes.

Surprise! I'm a child.

I don't have any money! Ha ha ha ha ha!

This, Kevin, is why you're a sales associate

and not a sales specialist.

Oh, where'd they get off to?

Huh?

Cricket's shoe.

Hmm.

Ma! Cricket!

Aw, come on!

So I had to tell an innocent little fib...

Aha!

Oh.

...to take a family photo.

Can you blame me?

Yes, yes, I do blame you.

- That's why I stole the money! - Shush!

Sure, the food court'll be fun for a little while,

but a portait'll be fun forever!

Lies. Lies. More lies from the liar man!

Quiet down!

We need a better hidin' place.

All aboard the choo-choo train!

Next stop, back to the daycare center.

Your wife called. You won the lottery.

I won the lottery?

Yes! Yes!

I'm outta here!

See ya later, Tyler!

Surprise.

- Whee! - Yeah!

Cricket, are you in here?

Grrrr.

Ma? Where are ya?!

Ma?

Are you looking for your mommy too?

Benny, stop wandering off!

This isn't my mommy.

Ohh! Yes, I am! Stop saying that!

Have you seen a little boy and an old lady?

It's kind of an emergency.

Oh, funny you mention that.

I actually saw the--

Ohh. No, no.

Definitely didn't see anything like that.

Are ya sure?

Yes.

Hmm. I see.

Well, you seem like you're tellin' the truth.

So I guess I'll be on my way.

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo... ♪

I think we did it.

Stop acting like a bunch of wild animals!

Taking a photo will be fun!

We can even take a silly one with bunny ears, if you like.

No!

Don't you wanna make a precious memory?

Oh, I'm always gonna remember this day of lies.

And you know what rhymes with "lies"? "Traumatized!"

I've never been to a food court before.

I thought it was gonna be cool and fun and wild,

and you tried to take that away!

Well, not today!

Come on. This is a lot of trouble

to go through for nachos.

Run, Cricket!

Ow! Ma, you're not helping!

Aaaaah!

Ooh.

Oh, that's real comfy.

No! Dang it, Gramma.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

We were supposed to go to the food court together.

But I'm already there, Cricket.

Ah, the food court is beautiful.

I can taste the corn dog right now.

Good night.

I'll pour one out for ya, Gramma.

- Oop, time to go. - Get back here!

Aaah! Huh?

Hello, Cricket, I commandeered a choo-choo train!

- food court! - - Yay!

- Ha ha! - - Grrr!

Huh?

Oh, boy.

Go, Tilly, go!

What?

Uh--uh--whoa!

Oh, come on!

- Ow! Ow! - Ow! Ow!

Tilly! I need you to go faster.

Much faster. We need to put the pedal to the metal.

Okay.

Surprise. There's only one speed.

Aaah! Come on, come on.

No!

Stop!

- Aaah! - Aaah!

Stop. Stop.

Just... stop.

No. No. Aah!

We're gettin' a family photo, and that's that.

No! We were so close!

♪

So, how'd they turn out?

Does it look like a precious moment preserved through all time?

I don't know. You tell me.

What? They look miserable.

They look so...unhappy.

Huh? Hmm. Oh, yeah.

Hold on one second.

And...there.

Amazing what technology can do these days.

Wow. I guess that does look better.

It sure does. So how many would you like to buy?

Hmm.

Glad to see y'all happy again.

I guess bein' happy is more important than lookin' happy.

Some things you just can't capture in a photo.

Precious moments like these.

Oh. That was almost my last precious moment right there.

Still, I do wish I had one good photo of y'all.

But, hey, who needs to pose for a professional family photo

when I've got the best of my family right here.

Excuse me.

I believe there's a hair in this here milkshake.

I'm so sorry. Lemma just--

There. It's gone now.

Here's your refund.

Surprise!

- Come on, big guy. - I don't understand.

All right, everyone, say "cheese!"

The cameras are behind ya!

- No! Hold on! - Come on!

This thing really doesn't give you any kind of warning.

Cheese!

♪

annual Mud Pit Long Jump!

Remy! Any last words?

Live fast, die young!

- Also, can you hold my phone? - Sure.

- And they're off!

I feel so alive!

Unh! Ooh! Ah! Aah!

Unh!

Whoo-whee! It's a new record!

Hey, Remy, your mom's callin'.

Don't worry. I got it.

No, Cricket. Don't answer it!

Hi, Sweetie.

Just checking in to-- Wait, who is this?

Hiii!

Where's my son?!

Why, he's right here.

Hello, Mother.

Where are you?

Why aren't you at your violin lesson?

- Beep beep. - What is going on?

Mother! I can explain!

I am at my lesson.

It's just that I-- heh!

I fell out the window.

Sweetie, I'm a lawyer.

If you're going to lie to me,

you're going to have to do a better job than that.

Time out! You really fumbled this one, son!

We're sending Vasquez!

- But wait, I--

Well, Cricket it was nice knowing you.

What the heck is goin' on?

Waah!

Have a nice day.

- Remy! - Remy!

Tilly, we gotta follow 'em! Come on!

♪

Remy!

Following on foot-- bad idea.

Cricket, look!

Whoa!

Whoever stole Remy's loaded.

I had no idea bein' a criminal

was such a high-income profession.

- Aah! Oh! - Shh!

That's the guy who took Remy.

Careful, Tilly. We don't know

what kind of monsters we're dealin' with.

Huh? Aah!

No, Tilly! Tilly! Save me, Tilly!

Oh. Heh. It's fake.

My name's Cricket. Aah!

Somebody help me! Aah!

That's you.

Wow, where the heck are we?

Wait. Does Remy... live here?

- I'll go to twice as many violin lessons. - Huh?

Okay. Yeah.

Okay, bye.

- Remy! - Aah!

Cricket! Wait, you shouldn't be here!

What's goin' on, Remy?

Why'd that guy snatch you? Do you live here?

Not for long. Cricket, listen to me!

I'm in the deepest doo-doo I've ever been doo'd.

You see, I've kind of been blowing off my lessons

to hang out with you.

All of my lessons.

Well, yeah! Lessons are boring.

But now my parents know.

And they are livid!

We're all livid till the day we die.

It's bad, Cricket. Really bad.

Hey, if you hate lessons so much,

why don't you just tell your parents?

I tell my dad I don't want to do stuff all the time.

He hates it, but I'm fine.

I don't know. I've never talked to them like that.

Here, I'll help ya!

Uh-oh! Remy, it's us, your parents!

Time to go do math! Chores, chores, chores!

Is there anything you wanted to say to us?

Just say it and we'll find a compromise!

I... think I don't...

want to... go to... lessons?

What was that?

You were like a different person just now.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter!

It's too late!

My parents are sending me to boarding school,

and I'll never see you guys again.

- Hmm! - Hmm!

Just leave it to us! We'll help you, Remy.

You'll never have to take lessons again if you don't want to.

First things first, we gotta escape this fortress.

Okay! The only way out is through the front gate.

We'll have to get the keys. from my bodyguard--

Vasquez.

Help!

The shrill cry of Master Remy!

Help me, Vasquez!

His weak arms can't hold!

I'm coming for you, Master Remy!

Gotcha!

What the... ?

Aah!

Aaah!

What's goin' on?

I'm sorry, Vasquez!

I'm not. Gimme those keys!

Hey! Your parents aren't gonna be happy about this!

Well, Remy's parents aren't here.

Or are they? Heh heh heh!

I'm really in for it now.

Cricket, what do I do?

They can't punish you if they can't get in!

Aah! Ahh!

Yah!

There's has got to be a better way.

- Wait, Cricket! Follow me! - Okay.

Tilly, watch the prisoner!

My pleasure.

It's just you and me now.

And we're gonna have some fun.

I'm gonna find a board game!

I'll be right back.

This is Vasquez's security room.

We can hide out in here.

Whoa! Hey, look! Your parents are on the TV,

and they're about to get in!

This button will lock the doors!

Well, what are you waitin' for?

Wha-- I'm not allowed to press it!

Well, then I'll press it!

Vasquez! Open up these barricades!

Ooh, they look mad.

What are we gonna do, Cricket?

We just need to show 'em who's boss.

Listen up, suits,

on intercom] I claim this house in the name of Remy!

That voice! You're the urchin that was with my Remy!

Son, we're breaking through your defensive line,

and when we find you, you'll wish I was only speaking

in football metaphors!

Oh, man, Cricket!

Okay, maybe we should let them in.

Remy, we can't.

We're in too deep!

This game sounds fun.

It's called Whoopsie Daddle.

I... Oh.

He escaped.

Well, if that's the way you want to play,

let the real game begin,

Ooh, what are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

Whoa, whoa, buddy, relax.

Just spit-ballin' here.

We move to the Mongolian tundra and become nomads.

That seems too cold.

South America?

That seems too hot.

Mars! They colonized Mars, right?

If not, we colonize Mars!

Uh, I don't know about that.

Well, I don't know. I'm out of ideas.

Remy, what do you want to do?

What's happening?

Ha!

A million apologies, ma'am.

We'll deal with you later, Vasquez.

Now where's my sweet baby boy?

Remy this is no time to be screaming!

It's all going down in flames!

Uh, what now?

Why did I think I could have it all?

I was in way over my head!

I faked a blood test

so that my teacher would think I was sick!

A blood test!

I mean, it's their fault really.

They decide everything I do!

Easy, easy. We still have time to figure it out.

Well, of course, unless your parents possess

some kind of anger-induced super-strength.

- Aah! - Aah!

Remy Remington!

You're in big trouble, young man!

We can explain. I--

Wait. Your name's Remy Remington?

- Yeah. Why? - No reason.

And you!

What qualifies you to spend time with our child?

- Well, I--

Not now. Heh heh.

- Hmm! - Hmm!

Well, this is completely unnecessary.

I can walk just fine.

We're taking you straight to boarding school.

Remy, do it now! Talk to them!

Mmm...

Uh, Mom, Dad?

Can I not go to boarding school?

Now, now, enough of that, son.

We need to get you away from these bad influences.

Hey, I'm a good influence!

When will I get to see Cricket again?

Hopefully, never.

What?

Remy!

Remington!

Tough break, kid.

Master Remy seemed really find of you.

Now let's get you back home.

Huh?!

Whoopsie Daddle! Cricket, run!

Huh?

Aaah yaah!

Go, Cricket!

Mr. and Mrs. Remington!

Please listen to me!

Oh, my goodness! That boy is crazy!

I know you don't like me much,

but I have something to say!

What is he saying?

It's not important, dear.

Vasquez Senior, shake him off into the pool!

Roger roger.

Ooh! He's really holding on.

Vasquez Senior, shake harder!

- Who is that boy anyway?

He's my friend!

Remy?

I don't want to go to boarding school!

I don't like calligraphy lessons,

water polo lessons, or cashmere sweaters!

I want to go outside more,

and I want to make my own decisions,

like a big boy.

Ahem. I mean, like a big boy.

I like it here in Big City.

And I want to stay here with my friend!

Sweetie, where did you learn to be so assertive?

From him!

Really?

Your assertiveness lessons were never this effective.

Dear, maybe letting Remy stay

and allowing him to interact with this "Cricket"

is the best thing for him right now.

Really?!

You mean it?!

Yeah! Huh?

Aaah!

Whoo!

Remy! Remy!

Cricket!

- Remy! - Cricket!

Tilly!

Remy, we wanted to say two things to you.

- Yes, Mother? - We love you.

Mwah.

And we're late for a meeting. Be good!

Huh?

Vasquez, keep an eye on Remy.

Or else you're outta the game, mister.

Come on, Cricket, let's go finish that pig long jump.

Whatever you want, Buddy.

I think it's Vasquez's turn.

Sounds good to me.

Wha-- ?