Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

One, two! One, two, three, four!

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

[chicken squawks]

[Gramma humming]

I'm done decorating my cookies.

Sweet, but dangerous.

Like me!

How are yours coming along, sweetie?

One for the cookie, one for me.

One for the cookie, one for me.

[Tilly] One for the cookie, one for me.

-One for the... -Tilly!

Sorry, Gramma! I was just finishing up!

[gulp] Ahh...

I present to you-- the Statue of Responsibility,

and Big Bank Tower.

What the heck kinda cookies are those?

They're the most famous landmarks in Big City.

You've lived here forever. You must recognize them!

I don't need to recognize them.

I want nothing to do with this terrible city!

Gramma, [munches]

the only thing better than [munches]

the cookies in Big City,

[chomps]

is Big City itself!

[gulps] Ahh!

If you just got out there and saw it,

I know you'd love it.

Blech! No I won't!

Come on, Gramma!

I'm taking you on a Big City Tour!

Aah!

[TV] Welcome back to...

Dogs With Shoes On!

Ha! Dogs don't wear shoes! They're not people!

Silly dogs.

[chuckles] It's true what they say.

TV just keeps gettin' better!

[barking] [whining]

[sighs] Truly a golden age.

-Big City Tour! Big City Tour! -Let go of me!

Hey, where you guys goin'?

I'm taking Gramma into the city.

No, you ain't!

Anyway, don't wait up, bye!

Bye!

That's real nice of your sister.

Ma could use the fresh air.

Hmm... So, Dad!

Now that the women-folk are gone,

what are the men gonna do?

Oh, I think I've got an idea!

With Gramma out of the house,

I finally got a chance to remodel her old bathroom!

She's such a grump!

She'd never let me mess with it!

Oh, my gravy.

[Bill sighs] No more leaky sinks.

No more rusty water.

Bill Green, you've got your work cut out for ya.

Cricket Green, you've also got your work cut out for ya.

Uhh...

Don't worry, Gramma.

Everyone loves Big City once they've experienced it.

Ugh! I'm experiencing it right now. It stinks!

You might feel different after I show you...

Our first stop on the Big City tour,

The Statue of Responsibility.

Meh. It's just like any other dumb statue.

The Silverway Bridge!

It's just like any other dumb bridge.

-The Big City Symphony Orchestra? -[singing]

They're outta tune!

-[guitar twang] -Hmm!

[Tilly] Our last stop--

Big Bank Tower!

Wow! Everything looks so small from up here!

Sure is windy, right, Gramma?

You seen one small thing, you seen 'em all.

Well, there's more to this place than just the view.

Did you know that The Big Bank Tower was built--

I know when it was built!

I remember when they destroyed acres of farmland

to put up this hunk of junk!

I remember when they put up all these hunks of junk!

[Gramma] I was livin' my idyllic country life,

when all of the sudden

the land was infested by this horrible city!

-[cacophony] -[Gramma] Nooo!

I liked this land the way it was,

before Big City moved in.

These places might be important to other people,

but they aren't important to me!

You're right, Gramma.

These places aren't important,

but let me show you some places that are!

-Come on! -Gah!

[Bill] All right, Cricket.

Now, where should we start.

The shower's always leakin',

but the plaster could use patchin'.

Well, enough chitty-chitty chattin',

Let's get to work!

Bye-bye, leaky pipe!

Cricket, no!

That's not how you--

Yah!

[gurgling]

Hold on, Boy! I got--

Whoa! [grunts]

[gurgling]

Yah! [grunts]

You think water can stop me?!

I'm Cricket Green!

Master of the elements!

[grunting] I did it!

[rattling]

[screaming]

Oh no! The water's rising!

What should we do, Dad?

[gurgling]

You're a genius!

We'll eat the water!

[grunting]

(muffled) Cricket!

Tilly, I'm tellin' ya,

no matter where we go on this tour,

I ain't gonna like it.

That was the old tour.

Now, we're on the Tilly Tour!

I'm gonna show you all the things

that are meaningful to me in this city.

Our first stop is a real humdinger.

[train whistle]

I hate this!

It's too dang loud here, Tilly!

Exactly! The noise drives people away!

Makin' it the perfect environment

to observe the rarest city creature of all.

[whistles]

[purring, meows]

What? Tilly, that's just an old alley cat.

-Is that really what you dragged me here to-- oh! -[meows, squeaks]

[Gramma] Oh my!

Oh! Ohh!

Tilly! What am I lookin' at?!

This, is a "cratigeon."

She likes peanuts.

[Tilly] Half cat, half rat,

half pigeon, and who knows what else.

[grunting]

-Aww... it reproduced! -Wowie...

That ain't nothing you'd ever see in farm country.

Yup!

Only in Big City!

I bet the boys are sorry they missed this!

Yeah! They're probably still on the couch watching TV.

The next stop on the Tilly Tour

is my favorite statue in the whole city.

Hmm...

It just looks like another boring statue.

Hold on, Gramma.

Watch this!

Pretty neat, huh?

[gasps] Oh, my goodness gracious!

He moves!

Tilly, did you see that?!

Oh, pay attention!

Aw, he stopped!

Sorry, Gramma.

That's all one quarter can buy.

One quarter?

Leave it to me, Tilly!

Ha! Wowie!

We're gonna be here for a while.

-Now, dance, corporal, dance! -[moans]

[grunting]

-[gasps, coughs] -[gasps]

Cricket, this might be it for us.

Before we go, I have to tell you somethin'.

[gasps] When you were a baby, I gave you soda once!

I've got somethin' to say, too, Dad!

I'm sorry, I never told you,

but I was the one who broke your--

[gurgles]

You broke what now?

Nope. Moment's gone.

Maybe next time, Dad.

[clock chiming]

Oh no! Is it four already?!

The bathroom is in shambles!

Gramma's be back at five for her night bath!

She's gonna kill us when she sees this mess!

She wouldn't even let me fix the bathroom!

What's she gonna say when she sees we destroyed it?!

Dad! Get a hold of yourself! We got an hour.

What can't two Greens and a toolbox do in an hour?

Cricket, there's a lot of things

we can't do in an hour! [yelps]

That's because you're thinkin'.

We don't have time to think!

With my youthful energy and your girthy power,

we can do anything!

Now, move! Move! Move!

You're right!

Let's fix this bathroom!

[both screaming]

You know, Tilly,

maybe I didn't give this city enough credit.

I've seen some pretty amazing things today.

Well, hold on to your hat,

because I've saved the best for last!

Ooh, a hotel.

Wait, what?

Tilly, where the heck are we?

This is your favorite stop on the Tilly Tour?

Over here, Gramma!

Huh?

[Tilly] Behold!

The hotel's inner workings!

What in the world?

Tilly-ball!

It's like floating on a hot, 800-thread-count cloud.

[grunts]

Ooo!

Yeah, Gramma.

Let the weight of the world melt off ya.

This is incredible.

I've never felt this relaxed.

Well, if you think this is good,

wait till you see what's next.

[rock music playing]

-Yeah! [laughing] -[giggling]

[both laughing]

[both] Watch out!

[Gramma] Aah!

[both groaning]

Hey! You aren't supposed to be in here!

You two are in big trouble!

Come on, Tilly!

Hey! Get back here!

Gramma, maybe we should turn ourselves in.

Just when it's getting good? Ha!

-[Tilly whimpering] -Come on! This way!

[grunting]

Excuse me! Did you see a little girl

and an old woman run past here?

Thanks!

Wait...

Ah-ha! Oh!

[clears throat] I'm so sorry.

Hurry, Tilly. We can escape out this window.

Stop! I'm not letting you get away so easy!

[grunts]

[both scream, grunt]

[both gasp]

Dead end!

I'm invoking Hotel Law!

You're under arrest!

Ha! In your dreams! Yah!

We're bustin' outta here!

-Whoo-hoo! -I will not rest

until I bring you to justice!

Ooh! It's my lunch break.

[both laughing]

Oh! We really gave her the slip, huh?

I am untouchable.

Tilly, thank you for showin'

your old gramma a good time in the city.

But I still don't get it.

Why are you doin' all this for me?

Because, Gramma, if you just give the city a chance,

you'll see that there's so much to love!

-[cat hissing] -[police siren]

I hate to admit it,

but I couldn't have done any of this stuff

without you showing me the way.

I'm just happy to help.

Now, let's get outta here.

Gramma needs her night bath.

[grunting]

[grunting]

-[grunts] -[grunting]

[both] Phew!

I can't believe it!

Yeah, it looks...

...exactly the same as before. Hmm.

Well, it might not be any better,

but at least it's not any worse!

[clock chiming]

-[gasps] Gramma! -[gasps] Ma!

Hey, lazy bones! We're home!

Oh, uh, [chuckles] hey, Ma!

How'd you, uh,

how'd your Big City tour go?

[grunts, chomps]

[giggles]

The tour went just dandy.

Tilly's got me on a kick of tryin' new things.

So you know what?

After I take my night bath,

I'll finally let you renovate the bathroom.

How's that sound?

-Huh?! -[spits]

Whoo-hoo! Finally here!

Remy! You're just in time for laundry basket sledding!

[clucks]

Never mind. Someone won't cooperate.

Sorry I was late, Cricket.

[grunts] Yeah, where you been?

I had an adventure-packed day!

I went for tutoring, violin lessons,

junior dance team, survivalist camp,

jar decorating,

and went to see a doctor about that rash!

And now, my parents say I can stay until dinner time!

Well, it's dinner time!

See you later, Cricket!

What? Seriously?

Your parents always keep you so busy.

Wish there was a way we could hang out more.

Wait! Wait, wait, wait!

Imagine, Remy,

If your family and my family were best friends!

Hey, Remy's dad! I cooked this burger just the way you like it.

Thanks, Cricket's dad!

That's why we're BFFs.

[laughing] Buddy, ol' pal!

-[laughing] -[laughing] Alice, catch!

[grunts, growling]

-[all laughing] -Hey, everybody!

We should hang out all the time!

Even better!

We should all live in our mansion!

[laughing]

-Oh, no. -[all screaming]

[shudders] Why did I even imagine that last part?

Getting our parents to become friends sounds great!

But how can we do that?

Remy, let me ask you something.

Do you're parents like to eat food?

Dad! Help, I'm hurt real bad! I need you!

[pants] What is it, Boy?!

Are you OK?!

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I wanted to get your attention,

but didn't wanna go lookin' for ya.

Anyway, can Remy's parents come over for dinner?

Please, Dad! Please, Dad! Please!

I suppose it would be nice to meet the Remingtons!

I'll give 'em a call.

[grunts, sighs]

Now we just sit back, relax,

and wait for our parents to become super best friends.

[Bill] That's right, Mrs. Remington!

Dinner at our place tonight.

Oh, you don't have to bring anything!

[chomps]

We got plenty of food.

♪ A-brush, brush, brushing the pig ♪

[Gramma] Where are my clothes?!

I can't find one shred of clothing to cover my body!

Whatever. I'm coming out.

[wincing] Are you sure this dinner's a good idea?

Our families are pretty different.

It's a great idea!

Opposites attract!

Take us, for example.

I'm bold, funny, and timely,

-and you're the opposite! -I guess so.

If our families are even more different than we are,

the attraction will be even stronger!

That's science.

Yeah! Maybe you're right.

Good news, boys.

The Remingtons are dining with us, tonight!

-Yes! -But, um,

Maybe Cricket's gramma needs to get dressed first.

Ma! What are you doin'?!

[Gramma] You ain't gonna body shame me!

Ooo, this is it, Remy.

After tonight, we'll be inseparable!

We can finally start that book club

I'm always talking about!

Maybe, Remy. Maybe.

[helicopter whirling]

It's your parents!

[Bill] What in the...

They have a helicopter?

Geez O Petes...

Touchdown! Think fast!

[all gasp]

Aah! Sorry!

The Greens!

Thanks for inviting us to dinner.

Well, that was quite the entrance.

Russell and I are so excited to finally meet the Green family.

We've heard so much from our Remy.

Mom, look at the cool goat!

Ooh! How sweet.

Wait a minute. Don't I know you from the TV?

You played for the Big City Bengals!

[laughs] Yup! That's me!

Always nice to meet a fan.

Well... I'm a fan of the Rain County Roosters.

A Roosters fan, huh?

Somebody better keep us apart!

[laughing] Here you go.

You just wrote, "I'm number one."

Yup.

I brought these flowers for your wife.

Will she be joining us?

Uh, no. [chuckles] Long story.

But these are lovely! Thank you.

Uh, [stammering] Oh, dear. The, um...

Oh, my goodness!

[struggling] Don't... eat 'em!

I think they're becoming friends!

Astute observation as always, Remy.

I think they're getting along great.

-[goat cries] -Still petty. [chuckles]

[chuckles] Well, we're certainly in for a fun evening.

All right, everyone.

Please gather in the living room

for the pre-dinner entertainment.

Howdy, folks! Please put your hands together

for the comedy stylings of...

Tilly Green!

[chicken clucking]

Chickens, am I right?

The way they're always going,

scratch-scratch, peck-peck.

[giggling]

Scratch.

[laughing]

Oh! It's so true!

I don't get it.

Why don't you tell one of your jokes?

Oh! Great idea.

[clears throat] I've got a good one!

I always appreciate a fellow comedian!

[clears throat] So, I'm a lawyer,

and I have a client who's an orthodontist,

but he wants a new fee structure

because I bill him for too many hours.

So, I said, "Why don't we use a prepaid arrangement?

That way, both of us can work on 'retainers'!"

-[laughing] -Boo!

Oh! I guess I didn't consider my audience.

No, no. It was very funny.

I'm just... laughing up here.

Well, comedy's hard. How 'bout some music?

Introducing the classical stylings of Remy Remington!

[violin music]

[slapping]

And accompanying him-- Cricket Green! Professional pig player!

[oink]

This sounds awful.

Don't worry! Remy'll get better with practice.

We weren't talking about Remy.

Oh. Well, pardon me, but my son plays the pig beautifully.

Cricket! They're arguing.

Drown 'em out with music.

-Pig solo! -[screeching]

-[all grunting] -[screeching]

Maybe we should get going.

-No-no-no-no-no! It's dinner time! -Come on! Yay!

-Come on, let's go eat dinner! Yay! This'll be fun! -Yay, dinner!

[clears throat] Oh, uh, just realized there's no napkins.

I'll be right back.

Alice, this meatloaf is really...

...well done.

Thank you. You know, I was just thinking

about that game in '09 when you fumbled the ball

and cost your team the championship.

-I'd say that was also "well done." -[growling]

Hey, look what I found when I was getting the napkins!

Rashida's beautiful flowers.

Bill, the flowers are ruined. Just throw them out.

Well, I think they make the table look nice.

Cricket, can I talk to you?

Sure. Step into my office.

This is terrible!

We had this dinner to make our parents friends,

but they're becoming enemies!

And enemies don't let their kids hang out together.

Oh, my gosh. You're right!

Well, since we're getting fancy,

how 'bout a little candle light?

So this is upscale dining.

Very regal.

Listen, Bill,

you really don't have to go through all this trouble.

No, no. I know y'all are used to nice things.

Yes, well, tonight we don't need it to be nice.

Oh, really? Well, I'm just tryin' to be hospitable.

That's fine, but it's not necessary.

[Bill grunting]

[all scream]

Remy, we gotta find a way to fix this

before this whole night goes down in flames!

[Bill grunting]

[grunts]

Hmm!

[gasps] Hmm.

This is bad. If we don't fix this,

we might never see each other again.

I got one last idea, Remy.

Hey!

How 'bout we play a fun game?

What kind of game?

I bet Russell would love a game of football!

Oh, I'm in if you are!

You've got yourself a game.

I was thinking more along the lines of...

charades or something.

Oh, look, it's raining.

We should probably go back inside.

-So, what are the ground rules? -[crack]

There are no rules.

No! No. How 'bout touch football?

-[Bill] Deal. -And all the other rules of football apply.

Fine.

[whistles]

I can't wait to see

what kind of moves you think you got, Russel!

Whatever they are, they can't be as bad

as your meatloaf!

-Hike! -Hike!

[panting]

[panting, grunts]

You ain't catching me!

-[Gramma grunts] -[whistle]

No one insults my cookin'!

Hey! I thought we were playing touch football!

Technically, she did touch you.

Touched you right to the ground.

Ha!

Hey! I got the ball!

-Yah! -[grunts]

How's that for fancy?

[moans]

Ooo, this ain't good.

[grunting]

(slo-mo) [pained grunt]

[whistles]

[panting, grunts]

[grunts, screams]

-[grunts] -Aah!

[whistles]

[panting, grimaces]

[all screaming]

-Aah! Remy! -Cricket!

[screaming]

[whistling]

[grunts] Cricket!

You OK, bud?

[gasps] This is a nightmare.

You gotta talk to your parents and get them to stop.

My parents?! Your dad and gramma

don't know how to treat their guests!

And it's like you guys have no respect for our hospitality!

We're charming as heck!

You know what? I was wrong!

Opposites don't attract.

Everyone huddle up.

This is our last chance to win this thing.

Let's show those rich snobs what we can do.

-Come on, team! -Let's show them what it means

to be a Remington!

-[whistles] -Play ball!

[panting] [grunts]

[growls]

[growls]

Get 'em, Cricket!

Show 'em what a Green can do!

[screaming]

-You can win this! -Yah!

[screaming]

-Get 'em, Cricket! Get 'em boy! -[shouting]

-Yeah! Rip his face off, Son! -[shouting]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[both screaming]

Why'd you stop playing the game?

What is going on?

All evenin', we've been tryin'

to make everyone get along.

But it was a disaster!

We don't wanna be on separate teams.

We're friends!

Even if you guys aren't.

I hate to say it, but the boys are right.

We haven't been very hospitable tonight.

You guys have so much, and I was a bit intimidated.

Intimidated by us?

Remy is always talking about how much he loves it over here.

I guess we were a bit jealous.

Well, even though we didn't get along great tonight,

at least our kids do.

Hey, good game.

Good dinner.

[all] Good dinner. Good dinner. Good dinner.

Good dinner.

Until next time, Green Family!

Well, it got a little crazy there,

but thank you for setting up this dinner.

It's always good to get another perspective.

Yeah, yeah. Check out this perspective.

Touchdown! We win!

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got Bit by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch And scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by dogs ♪

♪ Bit by a frog Got a rash on my leg ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters At seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪