Original subtitles

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON EARPHONES]

Oh, look... Look at that girl jump roping.

Okay.

All right. Come on, stop.

Come on, let'’s do it. Let'’s do it.No. Oh.

Oh, God! Shit! Emily...

Oh, my God, I'’m so sorry. Are you okay?

Uh-huh.You'’re going to be able to compete today, right?

Mmm-hmm.

I'’m fine. Uh

I... No, really, it'’s okay.

Okay.See?

Uh...

I was... I was going to ask you, um, if I could get an interview

with the school'’s best jumper?

Uh...

Sure. I just don'’t know if I look okay.

You look awesome...

I mean... I mean, great.

Uh... Awesome.

Okay, uh, well, um... Yeah, are you... Are you ready?

'’Cause...Yeah.

Could you just move over a little bit?

Just right there... Okay.

Just right there. Right there. Okay.

Emily, um... Why do you jump?

ALL: Go, go, fire it up! Go, go, fire it up!

[ANNOUNCER 1 SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER MIC]

ANNOUNCER 1: Judges, ready? Jumpers, ready?

Set. Go.

ANNOUNCER 2: Give it up for them, ladies and gentlemen,

the last group of double dutch single freestyle,

watch them work.

ANNOUNCER 2: Females 15 to 17, single rope speed,

please report to your stations. Thank you.

Hi. And your name is?

Emily Smith-Dungy.Great.

Emily, I'’d like you to notice the four corners of this square

and make sure you stay within its bounds.

ANNOUNCER 1: Single rope speed.

Judges, ready? Jumpers, ready?

Set. Go.

ANNOUNCER 2: And the runner up is Tracey Hill!

All right, Tracey! Good work.

And the winner of this year'’s Macomb County regional competition is,

with a staggering new regional record of 465 jumps,

that'’s 2.58 jumps per second, folks...

Miss Emily Smith-Dungy!

Yeah, Emily!

Emily and Tracey will represent the county in the state finals,

this Sunday at 10:00 a.m. and you won'’t want to miss that, folks.

Give it up for the ladies.

Whoo!

ANNOUNCER 2: Great job.

ALL: Cheese.

Hey... Hey, Em... Congrats on today.

Yeah, I thought you were really...

Thanks, Chris.

Hey, Emily, great job today.

You'’re awesome.

I know a purse that thinks it'’s hot shit,

you want to beat the crap out of it too?

Look, I don'’t love the idea of giving you a ride,

but I'’m thinking maybe it will balance out the bad karma

for the pack of Twizzlers I just stole.

Ooh, that disapproving glare of Emily Smith-Dungy.

Okay, well, suit yourself.

Wait!

Wait!

Aw.

You know, it doesn'’t exactly raise my street cred

to be seen with a jumptard.

Hey, hey, oh... Hold on.

I told you, she is particular.

I can think of several other adjectives

that are a little bit more accurate.

Rickety, decrepit, pathetic.

Bitchy

Oh. Oh, I'’m sorry, you were talking about the car.

"F" off.

That is going to sting all the way home.

LUCINDA: You a cop?

If you ain'’t a cop,

my pimp is going to fix you up, bustin'’ in like that.

I'’m not in the mood.

Then what good are ya,

if you don'’t want to make it,

then let me alone, so I can get stoned.

Lucy, what did I tell you about matches.

It'’s Iris! Taxi Driver?

Don'’t tell me you'’ve never seen it.

Classic Scorsese.

It'’s about a mentally imbalanced Vietnam vet

and a teenage prostitute, that'’s me.

It'’s a good character. Shows my range.

Yeah, well, directors don'’t want to see 9-year-old prostitutes

when they'’re casting for Toasty O'’s.

Come on, mister,

you'’re starting to be a real drag.

Lucy...Are you an Aries?

Lucy.

Pisces make the best lovers, you know?

Iris.

Where'’s Dad?

Okay.

EMILY: Dad!

Dad, I need to talk to you.

Emily,

how many times have I told you

that when I am here working,

I am surrounded by a creative membrane

and nothing comes in, nothing escapes creative membrane.

Mmm-hmm. Membranes are permeable. What you want is a wall

I don'’t ask for much from this family.

A simple respect for my process.

Mmm-hmm. Where were you at 3:30?

Where was I at 3:30?

In some fantastically transcended zone.

My body was like a conduit for higher energy.

I am completing what might be the most important piece of my entire career.

No, no, no.

Not yet. Don'’t... Don't touch it.

I just wanted to see what was so important that you couldn'’t...

It'’s not ready for judgment.

Okay, that'’s great, but where should you have been at 3:30?

You sound like your mother,

consumed with time and a schedule.

Do not tread that path.

Remember... Remember, it'’s what we do,

not when we do it.

It'’s the what that'’s important.

This is important.

This... This was important too.

What'’s this?

You didn'’t even read it.

What'’s this, a note?

"Regionals."

Where were you at 3:30?

3:30?Yeah, 3:30.

It usually occurs between 3:00 and 4:00.

Oh! I was editing this new piece.

Check it out.

Hello. Welcome. May I take your order?

Chicken nuggets!

Man has processed his relationship with nature

into bite size pieces. You feel me

No.Hmm.

Maybe I should add some more nuggets.

Yeah. More nuggets, yeah? What do you think?

You think it'’s ready to show Dad?

I don'’t care.

Well, maybe I'’ll hold off on the nuggets and see what Dad thinks.

I mean, he always knows how to cut through the bullshit

and right to the core of the piece, you know?

Oh, you know what you should do?

What

Actually show up to something when you say you will.

What the hell?

You look like a raging homosexual.

I am a raging homosexual.

Mom?

Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah.

Because it'’s men 21 to 55, that'’s why.

I wanna see power drills, jack hammers,

nail guns, all that crap that makes men feel

like they'’re wielding a substantial tool for once.

Yes, all men think like that, Rick.

Mom?Just have it on my desk Monday.

Yes, sexy drills.

It always comes back to sex with this demo.Mom?

Don'’t worry about Hoverman, he'’ll pitch humor.

He always pitches humor. I'’m on the phone.

Look, it boils down to this, Rick.

Do you want to laugh or do you want to screw?

Did you forget something today?

That wasn'’t a proposition, sweetie.

Something important?

Look, I will be VP by March and I do play favorites.

What

Maybe something at a precise time, at 3:30 post meridian?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my... Oh...

Rick, those G&G mock-ups were supposed to go to Tokyo this afternoon at 3:30.

You did?

He did

Oh, you are a goddamn stallion.

I'’m going to ride you all the way to the top.

No, let him pitch humor, I'’d like to see him juggle his balls in the air.

No! Are you kidding?

He'’s such a jerk.

He sounds like a horse.

♪ We thank you for the food

♪ That nourishes our soul

Nobody showed up.

Oh sweetheart I know, I'’m so sorry.

I desperately tried to get there,

but Mickey was having a bad day

and your father was just...SAMANTHA: GG!

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

How many times do I... GG!

Can you stir that for me, please?

SAMANTHA: Need to speak with you.

Um, what part of dry cleaning do you not understand?

The chemical part.

Dry cleaning releases toxic chemicals into our waters...

I don'’t care. I don'’t care.

This little blouse cost me $300.

Excuse me, could you please take this argument someplace else? Thank you.

Don'’t you raise your voice to me, sugar plum, I'’m not your maid.

Oh, I know. If you were my maid,

I would have fired you years ago.Sam!

LUCINDA: I'’ll get it!

Oh, your energy is so negative,

I have to burn sage every time I come here.

Oh, is that what that smell is?

'’Cause I thought the forest came into my office and took a crap.

It'’s so telling that you would object to sage,

the cleaning agent provided by Mother Earth.

Well, my mother'’s name is Janice not Earth,

so if you could keep your flaming shrubs out of my office,

I'’d deeply appreciate it!

So, you ever been to Fillmore?

Uh...

Back before '’70, it was fantastic.

Me and my girlfriend Anne used to get stoned out of our brains

and check out all the great bands.

You ever see CCR on LSD?

Janice must be so proud, the wonderful mother you'’ve become.

Ma.Are you kidding? You'’re judging me?

You take that finger and turn around and point it right at yourself.

There'’s your legacy. You proud of that?

I don'’t want her here anymore...

She takes very good care of our children.

She feeds them nice organic vegetarian meals.

Well, I... I don'’t care.DUNCAN: Sam, that you'’re not...

SAMANTHA: I just need it to end.

...willing or prepared to make!

Take your sage and...

Guess what? I'’m out of here.

No! Ma, wait!

I'’m leaving.DUNCAN: Ma!

Mama

So, we gonna do it or what?

Do what?

And scene.Hey.

Hi, Chris.How are you?

Um, okay.

You know, right now is not a very good time.

Oh, yeah. I can... Okay.

Well, look, I only came by because I have the DVD...

...of you at the quarterfinals,

and I just...Ma!

Wait, Ma! Ma! Ma!No! No, let me go.

Oh, what do we have here?

I don'’t want to be around that woman ever again.

She'’s the devil. No!

Oh, hey. Uh... Yeah, I'’m Chris.

Look, I just... I just came by

'’cause I wanted to give this to Emily, that'’s all.

A gift? Oh, Duncan, he brought her a gift.

You'’re a good boy.Thanks.

Tell me how long were you breast fed as a child?

Mom.Uh...

Were you on the tit till you were practically driving?

I'’m sorry.

There'’s nothing more nutritious than mother'’s milk.

It'’s nature's protein shake.

Chris? Yeah.Yeah.

So... You dating my daughter?

Tell me, are you one of those A&O guys?

Dad!

Sir?You know,

one of those cool cats who tell their girlfriends

that anal and oral isn'’t real sex

so that they can protect their virginity.

Okay! Time to go. Time to go, Dad!

No... What about condoms

It'’s never too early start talking about...Oh, God...

EMILY: That'’s enough, Dad!

You know what I'’m talking about?

You know what I'’m talking about?Dad, that'’s enough!

I'’m gonna go, okay.Uh...

Okay. Sounds good.

Yeah, this DVD. I just wanna...

Okay, just... Take it, okay.Thanks.

Bye.Okay, bye.

SAMANTHA: Gonna take his balls and wrap them around his neck, ha!

Statistically speaking I think parents kill more teens

than drugs or even cars.

If we don'’t end up punching out our own tickets,

we just suffer through years of therapy only to realize

that our parents were completely inept

and that we are now equally inept parents.

[MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY ON PORTABLE DEVICE]

Well I refuse to partake in this farce.

I should just down a bottle of Mom'’s sleeping pills

and get it over with.

Bet they wouldn'’t even notice, or care.

Do you think they would?

Most salt water fish can survive in a tank filled with human blood.

Mom wouldn'’t.

Maybe Dad, for a day or so.

At least Grandma Gale would.

MAN: The animal will continue to spread this disease.

In captivity, the scientist hopes the devils can be rehabilitated.

But first they must be tranquilized and restrained.

JACKSON: Where... Where the hell is the food?

LUCINDA: Gotta be here somewhere, I can smell it.

JACKSON: Is this a joke?

In here!

What'’s the occasion?

Just trying something new, come sit.

So not funny, hold please.

What the f...

Someone kidnapped my dinner.

Oh, I know that'’s what I said...

Hang on. What the...

I don'’t understand. Lucy, can you hand me my.

I'’d like to have some...

We are having dinner, as a family.

Rick, I'’m going to have to call you back.

No, it'’s dinner as a family.

Whoo!

I know, it'’s... I haven'’t done it in like...

They'’re staring at me I'’ve got to go. Bye.

Okay, let'’s go...Do you mind sitting down first?

Mmm-hmm.

Strange child.

Thank you for joining us, Dad.

Was I late?

Shouldn'’t I be sitting here

I'’m hosting this dinner, please sit down.

Mom, phone.

Just one second.

Mom, phone!

Send.

So, I'’m sure you're all wondering what we'’re doing here.

Not at all.

Historically, families have had meals together.

The mother cooks.

The children gather, everyone eats and enjoys.

Is the mother the sole bread winner with Monday deadlines historically?

I support what Emily is doing.

Now let'’s all join hands, and say a little prayer.

What do they say? "A family that prays together

"stays together."Mom.

You must be joking.

No, not in the least.

Taxi Driver?Sure as shit.

Fantastic.

Lord Shiva!

Bless this family.

And may your third eye look down upon us with love

and kindness.

Amen.GIRLS: Amen.

Since when are we Hindu?

How do we know which God is the one true God, hmm?

Just '’cause you're born in a specific region of the planet

doesn'’t make your God better than someone else'’s.

I say we pray to them all, just to be fair.

So, as I was saying...Oh, I have an announcement.

From now on I want to be called "Thor."

Mmm.Thor?

Like the comic book?

No, the Norse God of thunder.

I was going to with Poseidon but Thor just hits, you know.

Doesn'’t Thor like have a hammer or something?

Yeah, he does.It totally fits you.

It'’s bad ass.Bad ass, man.

Isn'’t Thor kind of butch?

No.

We named you after Jackson Pollock,

one of my early influences.

Paint splattering hack.

Anyway...DUNCAN: I thought you liked Pollock?

You found his work sensual.

Sensual!

That was a long time ago,

paints don'’t really get me off anymore.

No one needs to know that, Mom.What does that mean?

Well, do I have to explain it to you,

it'’s really not that difficult.

Thor.Does that mean you don'’t find my work

sensual anymore?Sensual.

Thor.Well, I don'’t know, what'’s your work look like?

I haven'’t seen one of them finished in five years.

Yeah, I think I still like it.

Sensual!Painting is a process.

You can finish a process.

It'’s not like baking a pie.

Thor, Thor!

Thor! Ah! Ah! Cramp.

Cramp!Walk it off.

When a horned toad gets angry, it squirts blood out of its eyes.

Sensual.

Sensual!

Pop '’em in the oven and ding, they'’re done.

I'’m done. I think I'’m done...

The horned toad is actually a lizard.

...with this whole...Sensual.

...family dinner thing.

What is wrong with you people?

Can we be normal one GD day

out my entire GD life?

Hey, what'’s with all the GDs today?

It means "goddamn."I know what it means.

I competed in the State Regionals today

and no one showed up.

Oh, that jump roping thing.

Oh, wow. Was that today?

I left GD notes around the entire GD house.

There it is again.That'’s what that yellow little post-it was.

You both said you'’d be there.

No, I said I had a meeting and that I couldn'’t come.

And if I said I was gonna come, you know I'’d be there, baby.

Okay. Mickey?

No, Mickey, don'’t.

No, Mickey.Mickey, don'’t. Please.

Mickey, no.

Mmm-hmm.

January 15th, 7:32 p.m. Eastern Standard timeMickey!

Emily, "It'’s at 3:30, you'’ll be there?"

Dad, "3:30, okay."

Mom, "Yes, yes. I'’ll be there."

Emily, "Okay because you missed the District Finals."

Mom, "I also missed my 20s pregnant with you and your brother.

Okay, that'’s enough.

Emily, look, I don'’t understand what the big deal is?

Okay, this jumping rope, what'’s next?

The Olympic jumping jacks team?

Maybe you can get gold in the freestyle dorking.

Shut up, Jacks.It'’s Thor.

Shut up. This was important to me.

Emily, you know I don'’t approve of competitive sports.

It teaches people a value system

where one person is better than another

just because of their genetic inheritance,

because of their physical attributes.

That'’s what Hitler used to teach.

Sensual.

Are you comparing jumping rope to the Holocaust?

No.

No. I'’m just...

I don'’t know where you get this competitive spirit.

It must come from your mother'’s side.

Now, I think competitive spirit is good,

and pouring yourself into something that really doesn'’t matter is not.

That must come from your father'’s side.

I forgot the wine.

Are you saying you'’d like to live in a world without art?

Without Julian Schnabel, Franchesco Clemente,

Jean

Warhol, Banksy.

Well, I doubt the world will spin off its axis.

It just might.

As today'’s winner,

I am now qualified for the State Championships this Sunday.

Ooh.

And I would very much appreciate it

if all of you came.

Nope.I so wish I could

but I have a huge presentation on Monday.

I'’m sorry, baby, I got to finish a painting this weekend.

It'’s what I imagined.

Okay, a toast to a productive weekend.

Cheers.

Hear, hear.

It'’s not your fault. It'’s a type of sickness.

Kind of like the facial cancer of the Tasmanian devil.

Tasmanian devil, Emily, I...

I... I don'’t know what'’s getting into you

but I... I like it.

The cancer must be stopped.

Are you sure they'’re even okay?

25 mg of ziposul is a non-lethal dosage.

Where did you get zipo...EMILY: Mom'’s cabinet.

Will you hand me that tape?No way.

When the police ask... I never saw anything.

Jacks...

I'’m gonna need your help on this.

I don'’t even know what this is.

This is our only chance to do something about our family.

It didn'’t used to be like this, don'’t you remember?

I don'’t even remember Tuesday.

You used to float these little paper boats with Dad in the lake.

Do you remember that?

But how does this solve anything,

I mean, do you even have a plan?

I... I'’m working on one.

Well, you might have wanted to start with that.

I'’m sorry, Em, but there'’s no way I'’m touching this.

What the hell?

The plan, take a look and meet me downstairs.

You'’re such a hooker.

Is that bacon?

I made plenty. Come sit down.

Did you look at section 3C?

Not really.

The blue tab.

A gripping documentary.

It'’s a once in a lifetime opportunity

but if the subject matter is too raw for you...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I live raw.

"Resourceful young girl tries to save her family from..."

No, it'’s a psychological thriller.

We go inside the twisted mind of the psychotic teen.

I don'’t know if she'’s psychotic.

Oh, she'’s completely nuts.

We see her in a rage, her sad sexual repression.

Sexual?I'’m going to make this film.

The world must know what happened here.

Jacks?

My name is Thor.

JACKSON: And action.

You'’re documenting but I'’m in charge or the deal is off.

Fine. What'’s going on?

JACKSON: Em kidnapped Mom and Dad and I'’m making a movie of it.

Yeah!

A movie?

Yeah.A movie! Okay.

It'’s not a kidnapping, it'’s a rehabilitation.

JACKSON: Oh, real cutting edge avant-garde stuff.

Psycho daughter drugs her parents...

Godard meets Michael Moore.

Lucy, there'’s a really big role in this movie for you,

but no matter what Mom or Dad say, I'’m the director.

Please.

I'’m a professional.

Great.

EMILY: All right, everyone get ready.

Okay, here we go.

Ah!

JACKSON: Yeah, def, it'’s good.

Why am I tied up?

Are we being robbed? Is there an intruder?

Why am I taped?

This is what happens when johns try to skip out,

without paying for the pudding.

SAMANTHA: Lucy, a little help please?

Sorry, pal, no can do.

Lucinda stop messing around.

Jackson, put down that camera.

Thor.If this is a joke,

I don'’t think it'’s very funny.EMILY: This is not a joke.

What'’s that smell?I did this.

Huh

Since you'’re not willing or capable of doing it on your own,

I have made it my mission to make this...

...thing you call a family, actually resemble a family again.

Lucy...I don'’t under...

DUNCAN: Is that a tofu sausage?

No, it'’s not. It'’s pig and like a normal family,

we started our morning with a well balanced breakfast.

It comes from a living thing.

You don'’t want to eat an animal with a face do you?

LUCINDA: Mmm!Yes, she does. Faces, shoulders, all of that.

Dad, we'’re part of the food chain,

the top part.

Is this about meat?No, it'’s about being normal.

You do realize the irony of that statement.

Extreme circumstances require extreme measures, Mom.

Oh, you want to see extreme? I'’ll show you extreme.

I'’ll show you extreme right up those stairs.

All right, all right. All right! Calm down!

Shit.

I actually think there might be some merit

to what Emily is trying to do.

What

All right, I know I should be angry,

but it kind of reminds me of something I...

...might have done when I was her age.

EMILY: This is exactly what I'’m talking about.

You have no idea when to give me parental support

and when to not.

This is a perfect example of a not.

Emily, this is asinine.

I really thought you were much smarter than this.

And you, Thor, just because this was your sister'’s idea,

doesn'’t mean you'’re off the hook.

Please don'’t look directly into the camera.

Really? Wow, I...

Mom, we are so beyond your guilt trips.

How about being grounded until you'’re 18?

How about that?

Fine, if that means you'’ll be normal parents.

Normal

We are galaxies away from normal.

And at this very moment, the punishment will be commensurate with the crime.

I'’m talking severe lock down.

No friends, no extracurriculars,

and certainly no competitive jump.

DUNCAN: Well, that'’s a little extreme.Okay, Duncan...

Everything you'’ve worked for, down the drain.

It'’d be such a shame.

Or I can make you a one-time offer only.

I can'’t believe I'’m saying this, crazy.

It'’s crazy.

You untie me... Us right now,

and I mean right this very minute. I'’ll forget everything.

No grounding no yelling, just carry on.

Duncan!

That sounds reasonable.As if it never happened.

You... You promise?

Yes, yes, we... We promise.

Don'’t we, sweetheart?

JACKSON: Oh, this is good.

No.

No.

I don'’t want to carry on like this never happened.

Because that'’s how we got here.

EMILY: First, to illustrate both of your glaring deficiencies

as parents, the facts.

Please feel free to follow along in your packets.

As you can see in chart 1A,

attendance of children'’s events has declined from its peak of 65%

to its current flat line of 2%.

In pie chart 3B...Em, this is very left brain.

...you can notice that the portion labeled "quality time"

is a very thin line between watching movies and self-absorption.

I haven'’t seen a movie in three years and he'’s the one at home.

So, if I could be released

that would be amazing.Mother, I will get out the tape.

Tape?

Mmm-hmm.

Lucy, can you get Mommy'’s BlackBerry.

Lucy, get the tape.

EMILY: Let'’s take a look at graph 8B

Strange that your still attempting to talk.

Susan!

Jackson, I got Mom, do something with Dad.

JACKSON: What do you want me to do? I'’m filming.

Dad... Jackson, stop filming or...

JACKSON: Oh, this is good.

Help me...Yes, yes.

LUCINDA: Calm down, Dad.

JACKSON: No way...

[KOREAN SONG PLAYING ON HEADPHONES]

Lucy, do something.

This is what happens when white people have too much money.

DUNCAN: I won'’t tell anybody,

I won'’t tell anybody. Just untie me.

Lucy!

Lucy!

Stay put.

Get me out of here. Emily, now.

Shh. Quiet.

Oh!

Shh.

Mom!

Does it hurt?

You didn'’t give me much of a choice.

DUNCAN: Ah! Susan!

LUCINDA: Yo, Susan!

JACKSON: And action. No!

No!You'’re gonna tell me about the set up?

I'’ll cut off your friggin'’ ear, man.

You'’re gonna die...What?

...like the scum pig that you are.

Okay, shut up.

Don'’t! Stop!

Hello.

Anybody there?That'’s it! No more!

I have my own problems to deal with.

Two daughters that dress like strippers!

A son that kills zombies on his computer all day long...

DUNCAN: No!

My name is Siu Jin. Not Susan!

Later, Susan.

And scene.

Oh. Hey, Kat, what'’s up?

Now work today?Your mom'’s getting away.

Reservoir Dogs?

How do I look?

Yeah, you left this incredibly modest symbol of achievement in my car.

Look, Kat. I know things have been, you know, between us.

But you can'’t tell any one. Not yet.

JACKSON: Hmm.

Yeah, but see.

Narking on you would catapult me

into a serious lead in our little neighborhood rivalry.

So, my dear, you have two choices.

Behind door number one, we have me dialing 911

as you chase me around the house until the police arrive.

You probably wouldn'’t like being incarcerated.

And as you know, cardio makes my cooch itch.

So that'’s a lose-lose.

But behind door number two,

we have a simple symbiotic transaction.

I believe the going rate for allowing my arch enemy

to get away with a major felony is...

50 bucks and a first-row seat.

You'’re blackmailing me?

No. No, I'’m just bored.

And I just wanna be here

when the whole thing goes shit circus.

MICKEY: Em! Dad needs to pee again!

Hmm.

You should probably handle that.

Oh! I'’m not doing that again.

Ah. Come on, Dad. We got this. You'’re like a beached whale.

The sooner you cooperate, the sooner this is over.

Emily, come here!

Listen.

The key to a successful revolution

is controlled chaos.

Now you'’re letting this kid too lose.

Susan. So lose he tried to cut my ear off.

And now, Kat is involved.

Just...Emily.

Kidnapping is a first degree felony.

Yeah.

And I will prosecute, that means jail time

and a permanent scar on your record.

So unless you want a diploma from the state penitentiary...

DUNCAN: Well, actually...

you can get a pretty good degree in a state penitentiary.

Oh.A friend of mine...

Mom. Dad. Focus.

Why don'’t we go to the big board, shall we?

Now, I'’m going to ask you some multiple choice questions,

and you'’re gonna give me answers.

Correct answers will be rewarded.

Like a game show.

Oh, don'’t encourage her.

Incorrect answers will be punished.

Japanese game show. Nice.

When a male friend of your 16-year-old daughter comes over,

appropriate topics of conversation are...

A, weather. B, sports.

C, school. D.

Anal sex.

I was just trying to learn something about your friend.

Please answer the question.

Safe sex is never an inappropriate conversation.

Wrong! A through C are appropriate topics.

Never, ever, ever, ever D.

Young people have questions about intercourse.

All kinds of intercourse.

Animal intercourse.

Same sex intercourse.

Different sex intercourse.

Stop saying intercourse.

Emily, clearly you have some issues with inter...

Sex.

Wha... Wha...

Why are you ripping my skirt when he screwed up?

It'’s a team game. You'’re partners.

That'’s Prada.

Now it'’s nada.

The acceptable age for a child to use profanity is...

Depending upon the situation.

Wrong. It is never appropriate for a child to use profanity,

especially not 9-year-old girls.

DUNCAN: Lucy'’s just playing make believe.

Yeah.EMILY: She was dressed like a GD prostitute.

DUNCAN: You'’re not being impartial.

Let'’s let Kat be the judge. Kat.

Kat agrees.

Yeah, I don'’t know. He has a point, everyone swears.

No. I don'’t.

Really?

Sure just not being a GDMFing hypocrite?

SAMANTHA: Can'’t believe I'm saying this,

but I'’m really glad you'’re bringing this up, Emily.

Your father here doesn'’t understand the appropriate...

Mom, I wouldn'’t say that appropriate is your strong suit.

Excuse me?

Mickey. Tuesday. Sevenish.

Something about... Nailing.

January 8th. 7:15 PM. Man, "Don'’t worry, I'’ll nail it."

Mom, "You nail the copy and you can nail whatever you want this weekend."

That was taken completely out of context.

Oh, really, should we hear the rest?

Yeah.No.

Fine.

Ugh. Don'’t use your brother as a dictation machine.

We'’re wrong again.

No!Emily...

That was one of my early masterpieces.

Pfft.

That is a natural plant that grows freely on this Earth.

Mm-hmm. It'’s an illegal substance

and a horrible example for your children.

If you'’re worried about your brother'’s pot experimentation,

you can relax.

Thor is a very well adjusted young man.

Oh, yeah? Do well adjusted young men pretend to be gay?

What?

She'’s just kidding.

Is this true?

No. Dad, I'’m totally gay. She'’s just messing around.

No, I'’m not.

This is so crazy, I'’m so queer.

Thor...

it'’s all right if you'’re not gay.

Dad, I like dudes.

He thinks people will think he'’s more artsy if he's gay.

I... I love dudes. Love '’em.

He doesn'’t even have a boyfriend.

It'’s 'cause good men are hard to find. Everybody knows that.

Ugh, amen.

He has straight porn mags in his room.

They'’re so gross.

Straight porn? Boobs and everything?

No, boobs are so nasty.

I could'’ve told you years ago he wasn'’t gay.

You over accessorize.

No, I don'’t.

It'’s okay.

You know what? Screw this.

Thor!

Ah...

Lucy, watch them.

MICKEY: Until the age of three,

all male walruses engage in homosexual relationships.

Lucy, come let mommy out.

Jacks

I'’m sorry.

I didn'’t mean to out you or... In you or whatever.

But you have to admit, it'’s kind of weird pretending to be gay.

Hello?

I had one thing that made me interesting.

One thing that made him notice me.

You couldn'’t let me have that, could you?

I'’m sorry.

I'’m really sorry, I didn'’t know.

Duncan, we need a new approach.

Just agree with everything I say.

I can'’t believe Thor'’s not gay.

With you going on and on about Warhol all the time,

I'’m surprised he hasn'’t dyed his hair white.

Oh, so this is my fault?

Yes, of course it is, you'’re the one who'’s here all the time.

A son pretending to be gay is something

that usually the primary care parent would pick up on.

A primary care parent implies

that there'’s some kind of secondary care parent.

And we both know that'’s not the case, don'’t we?

Emily, hi.

He'’s a little upset but he'’ll come around.

Yes, he will, um... Your father and I have been talking, and...

We need a new approach.

We are starting to see some of your frustrations.

Yes.Yes, thank you, Duncan.

I know that this sounds crazy,

but I do think... We both think that...

...we could do a better job at...

...parenting this family.

Together, as partners.

Yes.

Right. I'’m not that stupid.

Mmm.

Thank you, honey, I'’d drink more but I'’d just have to pee again.

Emily, darling, you'’re right.

I think it'’s time that we work on some of this stuff.

I... I don'’t know what to do or what to say,

but I do think it'’s time to lose the ropes

and work this out as a family.

You would really listen to me?

Yeah.

Lucy, duct tape!

Mickey, gag!

RICK: Hello?Hello!

Hello?Hello!

I can'’t find it. Where did you put it?

SAMANTHA: Please help us.

Help!

Mickey, go get the door. Go get the door.Mmm-mmm.

RICK: Did you say you need help in there?

SAMANTHA: We'’ve been taken hostage.What the "F"?

Jackson, stop!

And action.

RICK: I'’m coming in.

Everybody hide!

Yes! Now we have a movie.

SAMANTHA: Kick the door down. Just kick it in!

I found the tape!Help!

Lucy.

It'’s too late! Just hide!

SAMANTHA: Hurry up, and get in here!

Stop.

If it'’s the cops, I got something for '’em.

God, you'’re a freaking amateur.

Thor!

Stop taping.

Hello?Yes! Me! Come!

SAMANTHA: Hello?

RICK: I'’m warning you, I know Taekwondo.

Rick?

RickRick?

Is this why you didn'’t show up to our meeting?

Yes! Come here.

Your text message did say you wanted to close the deal.

Wow. Kinky.

Ooh. No, Rick. Come here, untie me.

Just so you know, I'’m not super into bondage.

Maybe a little role-playing here and there,

plushies master slave stuff.

Rick, now!

Who'’s the dude?

Who am I? Who the hell are you?

I'’m Rick. Who are you?

I live here. This is my wife.

I thought you said your husband was dead?

You said I was dead?No, I meant it metaphorically.

What

Just come here and untie us!

Please!

Why are you telling people I'’m dead

Just so you know, I'’m not super into dudes.

Wait a second.

Are you sleeping with this guy

I don'’t think she had much sleeping in mind, bro.

Whoa! Yes.

KAT: Whoa! Some blow!

Dude! Yeah!

Good job, Emily.Emily...

Lucy, um, I need you to take Mickey up to his room and hang out for a bit.

No way! This is hardcore.

Now, Lucy, now.

Come on, Mickey.

Emily.

Okay.

Tape.

Um... Sorry.

Shut up, Mom. I have everything under control.

Thor, get that out of my face.

Can someone please give me a hand?

No way. You'’re Psycho Sauce.

I'’m more of a star witness than a co-defendant.

It'’s fine.Emily, listen to Mom.

We need to consider what you'’re doing now.

Oh, my "G".

I would go with "Oh, my FG."

Please tell me you'’re getting all this.

Rolling.KAT: Awesome.

How was I supposed to know that he would show up?

You couldn'’t plan for this.

I just reacted to the situation.

Rick! Rick, are you okay?

RICK: Yeah.

What the hell! Why am I tied up?

Because our daughter Emily is a bit dissatisfied

with our parenting style.What?

Dissatisfied? Are you kidding me?

Sam? Are you sleeping with this guy?

Oh, God! Would that bother you?

Would that pierce your membrane?

RICK: Sami, someone...Be quiet!

Somebody needs to untie me right now.

Rick, do I look like I have a say in the matter?

Is that what this is about? My membrane?

Not now, Duncan.Okay.

Clearly, you guys are dealing with some sort of family issues.

Uh, Emily?

It'’s Emily, right?Yeah. Anyway...

Look, I know being a kid is tough.

I know that'’s gotta be hard,

especially with a mom like Sam.

You should have seen her last week at work, she made Hoverman cry.

Hoverman'’s a wussy.Will you shut up?

Yeah.

Look, you seem like you got a good head on your shoulders.

Kind of illegal. A little bit.

Is this really worth 40 years in jail?

It wouldn'’t be 40 years.

Can'’t believe you'’re sleeping with this guy.

This guy headed multinational campaigns

for six Fortune 500 companies last year, asshole.

One more and I would have been impressed.

Oh, shut up, both of you. Emily?

Follow your goals.

Listen to me, Little Miss Sunshine,

if you don'’t let me go right now,

and I mean right this second,

I will make your life a living hell.

Do you understand?

This is serious right here. This is a serious crime.

You know, adultery is a crime.Yeah!

Well, actually, it'’s not.

Uh, yeah, it is, for a family.

I don'’t care about family!

How did you learn how to tie a knot like this?

Sam, how do you think you can possibly run a 300-person company

when you can'’t even control your own teenage girl?

Will you be quiet?

Pathetic, misguided, psychopathic, bug-eyed, 52 pound freak.

Hey!That'’s my daughter you'’re talking to.

I told you to be quiet.Emily! Emily!

Hit him!Emily! Emily.

No. No.

Mom, I warned him.

All right! Give him a hit.

No, no, no. I'’ll be good. I'’ll be good.

Well, that was unfortunate timing.

Oh! Oh, hey, Em.Hey.

Something wrong, or...

Uh, no. Everything'’s great. What'’s up?

Uh, nothing. Nothing much.

Okay. Uh, well, I'’m kind of busy right now.

Uh, yeah, that'’s fine. I just came by because I wanted to ask you

if you watched the DVD I made for you?

Actually, I was just about to go do that. So...

Okay. So what did you think then?

But I haven'’t watched it yet.

Right.

Right. You said that.Mmm-hmm.

Uh...

Um...

Okay. Well, I'’m gonna go.

I'’m gonna go watch the DVD.Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that'’s cool. Okay, great.

All right. Let me know. Uh, cool.

Oh, hey, Em, what are you... What are you holding?

Is that like a giant wooden penis?

Yep. Yes, it is.

Uh-huh. Great! Bye!I'’ll see you.

JACKSON: Nice one, Em. Now he knows where he measures up.

Get that thing out of my face.

That was our deal. You go psycho, I make the movie.

This isn'’t a movie, Jacks.

This is our family.

Oh, my "G". Oh, my "G".

Oh, my "G". Oh, my F'’ing "G".

So freakin'’ rad. I should have paid you $50.

Oh my "G".

Kat, give me your phone.

What?

Give me your phone, Kat.

Now.Stop...

Hey, it'’s Em.

I'’m gonna need your help.

Well...

I must admit,

I'’ve wanted to do something like this for ages.

Now this must be...LUCINDA: Rick.

Mom'’s boyfriend.

Right.

GG: Let'’s put him somewhere a man like him belongs, shall we?

JACKSON: Sorry, Rickels.

Shut up.

GG: Now, when I sound the chime,

I want you to picture your clouded mind

clearing into a crisp white expanse.

Here we go.

Hello. My name is Tina.

I'’m here to turn you from sad froggies

into happy froggies.

In my practice we use puppets. Get your puppets.

We use the puppets to detach us

from the emotional anchors that drag us down.

That way our feelings can surface

and our authentic self can breathe.

Perfect. Puppets. It'’s a perfect time for puppets.

GG: All right, are we ready to share?

Who wants to go first?

Me, me, me!Oh, I do! I do!

No.

We kidnapped Mom and Dad.

GG: How does that make you feel?

Um, it'’s fun, and scary.

GG: Why is it scary?

Because it'’s making everybody a little crazy,

and say mean things...

...even more than usual.

Hmm, thank you for sharing, Wanda.

That'’s excellent.

Libby?

Hmm...

Ah... I just...

Well, I just want my family

to care about each other.

GG: What about you?

Do you think about others?

Well, I...SAMANTHA: We'’re all here right now

because we didn'’t go to your jump roping competition.

We just couldn'’t make it, that'’s it.

We could have made it.

Maybe if we tried harder.

GG: It'’s great, Jackson.

It'’s Thor now.

Like the Norse God.

Yes! Finally! Thank you.

GG: Oh, that'’s good.

Timsy?

Timsy...

...wants his family to know that...

...he loves them very much.

And he knows that he makes a lot of mistakes.

Everybody makes mistakes, Timsy.

But he'’s doing the best he can.

I don'’t like the membrane.

The membrane is your father'’s protective shield.

I don'’t like the membrane.

What?

I don'’t like the membrane

GG: What else don'’t you like, Mickey?

I don'’t like loud talking,

I don'’t like the man in the other room,

and...

I don'’t like casserole.

GG: That'’s fine.

Do you have anything else that you want to say?

And, I like bacon.

Yeah.

I suppose I can make the membrane a little more permeable.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks.

But I don'’t know about the bacon.

GG: Mimsy?

Your family has opened up. Would you like to share with us?

No.

Come on, Mom.

Come on, Mimsy.

Yeah, come on, Mimsy.

No, no, I'’m good.

ALL: Come on, come on, Mimsy.Don'’t ignore this healing opportunity, Mimsy.

ALL: Mimsy! Mimsy!This is insane.

Mom, it'’s not very hard.

Why is it insane?It'’s insane because you'’re a crazy person.

It'’s fun.Let Mimsy speak.

I'’m doing it.

I want to hear what Mimsy has to say.

Mimsy thinks that you should take your sage

and shove it where your spirit guides don'’t shine.

Mom!

Just try. Please.

I try, okay?

I try every single day, Emily.

And I'’m sorry if we're not the freaking parents of the year,

but my apologies to the selection committee.

But here'’s a news flash,

there are no parents of the year.

No one comes to give me trophies,

nobody comes to watch me compete.

And if you think tying me up and drugging me

and spraying air freshener in my face

are gonna make our family closer,

then you were right, Emily, we really have failed in raising you, honey.

And it'’s much worse than you think.

Thank you.

Emily...

I speak the truth.

When did everything get so strange?

She'’s your daughter.

No.

You.Me?

Where do I even start?

What happened to that wild chick I married?

She wasn'’t afraid of anything, she...

She'’d dine and dash, she ate popcorn with butter flavored topping.

She was gonna open a vegan restaurant.

Can we not do this right now?

She was gonna cook veggies, and I was gonna paint.

She was fun.

Sense of humor.

She was beautiful.

Was?

We were gonna do anything we wanted.

Screw the rest of the world.

Well, she grew up, Duncan.

Do you really think we knew who we were back then?

I think we knew how to be happy.

Well, sometimes life isn'’t happy, sometimes you do what you have to do,

instead of what you want to do.

I do want I want to do.

Oh, I know exactly. Duncan does whatever Duncan wants to do.

If he wants to paint, he paints, if he wants to sit there, he sits there.

While I keep this family fed and clothed,

and I work my butt off, have you noticed?

I don'’t paint because I want to paint.

I paint because I have to.

Stop talking.

DUNCAN: What are you trying to say

Let'’s stop beating around the bush,

let'’s just put all our cards on the table.

SAMANTHA: Okay.

Okay, you want me to say it?

Yeah, I want you to say it.Okay. Okay.

Okay, here it goes.

You'’re stuck.

You got a bad review in New York five years ago, and you'’re stuck.

Three and a half.

What?It was a three and a half years ago.

Whatever, you'’re stuck, you have...

...painters block, or something.

It takes time to make something beautiful, Sam.

It took nine months to make each one of our beautiful children.

Oh, I know, I was there, I remember.

Duncan, I'’m sorry I just can'’t continue this way.

I can'’t do this anymore.

I just can'’t.DUNCAN: What do you mean you can'’t do this?

Marriage is a partnership, Duncan,

and right now, you'’re a lousy partner. I just...

Okay.

I love your talent, Duncan.

I fell in love with your talent.

Really?Sometimes, it just...

It'’s not enough.

You could have taken that graphic design job I got for you,

I stuck my neck out for you

and you just blew it off, Duncan style. Perfect.

I can'’t paint logos.

Here we go.

DUNCAN: This is who I am, Sam.

For better, for worse.

This is who you married.

You want me to be someone else?

I never asked you to be someone else, Duncan.

Are you asking me now?

I don'’t know.

Good night, Mr. Toad.

And good night to you.

Well... Would you look at that.

Oh...

You should probably let them go soon.

Go away.

It'’s Kat.Great, then go further away.

So that'’s it?

After all that.

Just gonna quit and go back to the way it was?

Yeah. And why do you care?

We'’re not even friends anymore, remember?

I just think it'’s a waste.

Well, in case, you haven'’t noticed,

it'’s been a total disaster.

I can think of several other adjectives that might apply.

Awesome, brave...

I think it'’s totally ballsy.

You'’re kinda my new freaking hero.

That is why you cannot give up, I mean, not yet.

But you gotta chillax a little, I mean, maybe you didn'’t notice earlier

but in-between head butts with your mom

was like a real breakthrough with your dad.

Yeah, I guess.

More than my mom, she'’s so like...Much like you?

Yeah, I noticed.

That may not seem like a compliment to you, but it is.

I mean, come on, your mom is intense, smart,

she'’s kind of hardcore.

Parents are people, too.

Which means sometimes they suck big hairy ass with like...

Okay, ew! Okay, point made.

Kids grow up thinking their parents are like perfect...

They feed you and protect you

and they'’re supposed to have all the answers.

You end up thinking they'’re like super heroes or something.

But then, one day, you...

You find out they just worked at the Daily Planet.

Thanks.

Hey.

I'’m sorry I sprayed you in the face with air freshener.

Are you gonna say anything?

What do you want me to say?

Something nice.

I'’d love to, I'’ve been bound and tied,

and we are going on hour, God knows what.

So, I don'’t know why I would say something nice.

Because I don'’t remember the last time you did.

I know what I did was really messed up.

Yes.

And I know I'’m in a lot of trouble.

Yes.

But, I'’d do it all over again,

if I'’d thought that it would help.

I'’m not crazy.

I'’m not.

I just... I miss the way it used to be.

Do you remember

when I was little

and there'’d be like a thunderstorm or something.

Or like a really mean boy at school and I would get so upset...

And I would just run in my room and hide.

And you'’d come in...

...and you'’d lay down next to me,

and you would wrap your arms around me and you'’d sing.

I miss her.

I really need her.

Hmm...

Anyway...

If you wanna escape,

you can.

But you'’re gonna have to do it together.

As for me, I have a competition to go win.

Hey.

Oh, my God.

You painted us.

Look at us.

We'’re beautiful.

Duncan...

Hand me the knife.

I'’m sorry, that'’s it, got it.

Oh... Oh, my God.

I can'’t do it.Give it to me.

Okay, here.

Help.Well...

Maybe just a little bit longer.

If you could see yourself right now.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING IN DISTANCE]

WOMAN: Emily Smith

Sergeant Ellis and Deputy Tyler,

Macomb County Sheriff'’s Department.

Mmm-hmm.

ELLIS: Are your parents'’ around?

Um, I'’m kind of in a hurry,

could you maybe come back later?

I'’m afraid not.

We'’ve received several reports

that there may be a potentially criminal situation,

taking place here in your home.

Uh, here? No, there'’s no criminal nothing.

Well, maybe you'’ve heard about

some videos that have been posted on the Internet?

GIRL: Hey, Emily!

Smile!ELLIS: I think we saw some people

tied up in jump rope and tape.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah, jump rope.

No, that'’s crazy.

May we enter the premises, please?

Can I say no?

Actually you can say no.

I'’m sorry, I'’m just...

But then we'’d be forced to come back with a warrant.

I have a really important competition to be at in less than one hour.

Okay, well, you may have to be a little late.

But it'’s the States!

I can'’t be late.

We just want to ask a couple questions, come inside...

What? No...

Step aside, ma'’am. Step aside, ma'’am.

Who else is on the premises?

EMILY: Uh...

Just my sister and my two brothers.

Who'’s at the door, honey?

Oh, good morning, Officers.

And my parents!

Duncan, we have some police officers at the door.

What a surprise!

Yeah, we were just getting ready

for our usual Sunday brunch.

Come on, kids. Get up, sleepy heads, brunch time!

Jump rope.Yeah, it'’s fun.

Athletic guy?Yeah.

I'’m a maniac.Oh, he is.

So we got the entire family on the premises?

SAMANTHA: Yes, uh-huh.

Yes.

Oh... Thank you.

Do you have a knife anywhere maybe that we can use

to cut these little ropes free?

No. No, not a good idea?

Okay, you like money?

I'’ll give you 100 bucks to get me some aspirin,

'’cause my head and my shoulder are killing me.

Yeah, okay, okay. Okay, you freak.

Yesterday afternoon, we got a few calls

from some very concerned parents,

after they found some disturbing texts

on their kids'’ cell phones.

Yeah, yep, then we saw some videos posted on the Internet

by someone named "Cataclysm."

ELLIS: We saw some pretty serious offenses in those videos.

Oh! No, not us.

Aggravated assault, drugs, and kidnapping.

Holy crap.[BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY]

Hey, buddy.

Ah!

Oh, my man. My man, thank you.

Wait, I said 100. Hey!

Well, right now, we just need an explanation.

Uh...

School project.

School project, that'’s what it was.

Yeah, we were making a public service announcement.

Yeah, we may have made it too realistic.

You guys.

You can'’t teach talent...

Emily, have you watched my DVD yet?

Okay, now who is this guy?I need to know if you watched it.

Chris, it'’s really not a good time right now.

But it'’s never a good time in this house,

and I made you a second copy, in case you lost the first one,

and I just really want you...

Chris, the boyfriend.

Okay.Chris...

The DVD, we were just gonna watch it.

Sir, if we could just finish a few questions first...

Yes, but you won'’t wanna miss this, its competitive jump.

ELLIS: Yeah, but we need to finish up a few questions first.

Chris, come on in, join us.

Uh, listen, we don'’t really need to watch this right now.

JACKSON: Yeah, we do!

Yeah, exciting!

ANNOUNCER: Emily Smith-Dungy!

♪ And I... I see you jumping there

So sweet! ♪ Your rope cutting through the air

♪ Your light shining everywhere

♪ And I

♪ I wish that you were mine

He likes you, honey.

Yeah...Chris, can you please put the camera down?

CHRIS: Yeah, sorry, sorry, ma'’am.

♪ You and me side by side

♪ So please...

It'’s just stupid, you know,

it'’s just for her, it wasn'’t meant for everyone to see, that'’s all.

Yeah, we'’re going to get going now, folks.

Yeah and we better get going, too.

Okay.

Officers, thank you so much for coming.

Uh, Chris...

I'’ll watch the rest later, okay?Okay.

See you, buddy.

DUNCAN: My wife and I are... We are great donators to the police benevolent fund.

ELLIS: All right, that'’s good.

We give every year. Thank you very much.That'’s good.

RICK: Officers!

Officers, I got something very important I gotta tell you.

Well, thank you very much.No, no.

Sir, who are you?

Last week I drove into a parked car and just drove off.

Sir?I just drove... ...right off.

Regularly drink and drive.

Oh, my God, sir!

I haven'’t paid for cable ever.

Who is this man?

Uh, he works for me.

Okay, why didn'’t you tell us about him before?

He has, uh, special needs.

Yeah, he'’s a... He'’s a special needs cousin of ours.

Special.Duncan...

Duncan, brother, I'’m so sorry that I tried to bang your wife.

What?No.

No, he didn'’t bang, there was no banging.

You mean, so you guys never...

He did not bang.

They never banged.

So sorry... Here, give me a hug, brother. Give me a hug.

DUNCAN: Uh-huh. No, no, no, no.

No. Oh.

Oh, that feels so good.ELLIS: Sir, are you feeling all right?

Yeah, you'’re touching me with your man parts.

I need to hug more often. I could just hug you for hours.

DUNCAN: Yeah, thank you.

I don'’t even care that your daughter hit me over the head

with a trophy, and put me in a snake cage...

Oh, you big kidder, you. Get out of here.

Hey, now, hold the phone there.

Silly kidder.Okay, sir.

Can you repeat that?

Yeah...

ELLIS: Sir?Mmm...

Did this young lady assault you?

Rick, please.Quiet, ma'’am.

TYLER: Sir, we'’re talking about a felony charge.

[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING ON CELL PHONE]

Yeah...

It'’s my cell phone...

Sir

Ooh, that'’s the stuff.

That'’s the stuff right there. Yeah, yeah.

Sir, please.Russian Tea Room.

Sir?Yeah.

Sir...You know, how much ass I get from this move.

I am ordering you to stop dancing.Tic-tac! Tic-tac!

Go ahead, shoot.

TYLER: Sir!

Who killed the beat?

Sorry, dude.

Take care of him.

Ma'’am...

I need an explanation.

Whoa, whoa! I need an explanation from her!

Folks!

I'’m going to take this gentleman to jail if he does not stop...

Okay, I can'’t hear everyone...

I'’m flying!

Sir!

Sir!

Ma'’am.

I just wanted them to see me jump.

ELLIS: Ma'’am, I understand that.

But that'’s really not a good enough explanation

for what'’s happening here today.

Oh, no.

Sir, excuse me

What are you doing?

I'’m smoking pot.

Put that down. Sir!

Smoke pot, smoke pot.Uh, excuse me...

Everybody, smoke!No, you cannot do that.

Sir! Sir!

Revolution!

No revolution! Listen to me. Sir, stop!

Smoke pot, smoke pot! Everybody, smoke pot. Smoke!

Are you ready?

All right, good. Grab your bag.

It'’s got everything you need in there, right?Mmm-hmm.

Kats gonna take you?Mmm-hmm.

Okay, well, good luck. Love you.

I command you to stop! Sir!

Oh, wait, wait. I'’m coming with, I'’m coming with.

I'’m going to arrest you, sir.

I'’m going to arrest you.

Holy F'’ing "S"!

Revolution!Revolution!

Whoo!

ELLIS: This is getting ridiculous.

Never had to deal with this...

I want to press charges on that psycho girl.

We will apprehend her.

Sir, I need you to settle down.No!

ANNOUNCER: Ready, set, go!

Well, get going, you'’re late.

I drugged, and then tied up my parents.

Everybody knows.

1,500 hits in three hours. You'’re famous.

More like infamous.

Everyone'’s gonna think I'’m a freak.

Well, did you think you were normal before?

I mean, you spend your lunch break jumping rope.

Well, look at this way,

now, you are the queen freak,

from like a seriously royal freak bloodline.

They will bow and tremble in your super freaky presence.

Trust me, it is better at the top.

You deserve this.

Plus, you'’re really pretty.

Fuck it.

GIRL 1: What is she doing here?

Emily Smith-Dungy.Oh.

Right that way.

I'’m here!

You'’re Emily?Uh-huh.

Okay, here'’s your square, here... Don'’t go outside the lines.

Looks like you'’re all legal.Okay. Thanks.

ANNOUNCER: Jumpers, ready, set, go!

Attica! Attica!

I need you to calm down.You got it, man. You got it, man!

Ma'’am, I cannot do this with you right now.

No, I need you to tell me where your daughter is.

Where is your daughter?You can arrest me too, '’cause I'm not telling you.

ELLIS: Okay, well, I'’ll just have to come back and do that.

TYLER: Ma'’am, your daughter is a felony suspect.

SAMANTHA: I'’m not telling you where she is.

ELLIS: I'’m sure you're not.

You know, I'’m okay with you being straight?

Thanks. Are you like in trouble?No.

Where is she?I couldn'’t say.

You couldn'’t say?

You know you don'’t have to be different to be an artist.

You just have to have the courage

to show the world who you really are.

Do you know who you are?

I'’m Jackson Smith-Dungy, your son.

Cool.

Well, we will find your daughter, I need you to know that.

Okay.This is not okay.

Nothing that has happened here today is okay.

Why, of course. Good luck.

Good luck.Thank you.

I got a medical marijuana card in my wallet. Let'’s have some fun.

Let'’s go, sir.

Okay.Wait, why are you trying to arrest my dad?

What are you saying?

Put your gun down!

I don'’t have a gun out.

Well, I'’ll just show it to you right now? Oh, snap.

ALL: Attica! Attica!

ANNOUNCER: First competitor, Melissa Barnum.

Competitor number two, Tracey Hill.

Number three, Emily Smith-Dungy.

KAT: Whoo! Yeah! Whoo!

And competitor number four, Taren Washington.

Folks, let'’s hear it for the final competitors, let'’s give them a hand.

Next up, Emily Smith-Dungy.

Emily, please take your station.

Right now, the top score is Melissa Barnum with 428.

BOY: Call the cops!Come on, Em!

Jumper, are you ready?

WOMAN: Jumper?

Are you ready?Mmm-hmm.

ANNOUNCER: Single rope speed.

Judges, ready?

Jumpers, ready, set, go.

CHRIS: Come on, Em!

Emily!

Emily, pick it up, go...

JACKSON: You can do it, Emily!

DUNCAN: Jump, baby, Jump, baby!JACKSON: You got this!

That'’s my girl!

Buckle up!

Emily! Emily! Emily!

ALL: Emily! Emily! Emily!

Emily! Emily! Emily!

CROWD: Emily! Emily! Emily!

I'’m the queen freak!

CROWD: Emily! Emily! Emily!

I'’m the queen freak!

Let'’s go. Come on, let'’s go.

We'’re coming, honey!

EMILY: Some people are lucky enough to find their true passion...

Yeah, is it good?Yeah. It'’s awesome.

Hey, come on, little buddy, we gotta get ready,

you don'’t want to be late.

EMILY: That'’s okay because their passion makes them feel like something.

EMILY: Like somebody.

Sometimes it'’s the only thing that keeps them moving.

I know some people don'’t get mine, my passion.

It'’s jumping rope, competitively.

But I like it.

Just me and the rope, I'’m in total control.

I can let everything else go and focus on that one thing.

Three Weeks Later

Hazelwood Behavioral Correction Camp

I guess it could be anything.

ALL: Five, four, three, two, one.

But I chose jumping rope.

And I'’m not sure if there is anything

that I could possibly love more.

GUARD: Miss Dungy.

Your family'’s here to take you home.

Bye.

ALL: Bye, Emily.

SAMANTHA: You were amazing out there.

Look what I got you.