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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:02,759 Kids, sometimes when you're about... 2 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:06,363 to give up on your love life forever for the 17th time... 3 00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,498 destiny intervenes. 4 00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:09,940 Instead of rushing in... 5 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,843 I took my time to think up the perfect opening line. 6 00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:17,015 Wait, no, damn it. Come back! You're really... 7 00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:19,210 You're pretty! 8 00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,685 And before I could call out after her in any kind of embarrassing way... 9 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,916 that a bunch of teenagers made fun of for the next five stops... 10 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:25,958 while I stared straight ahead and pretended not to hear them... 11 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,392 she was gone. 12 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:31,692 But here's the thing about Ted Mosby. He doesn't give up! 13 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,630 Stalker Ted alert. 14 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,965 - Repeat, stalker Ted alert. - Already has a yellow legal pad going. 15 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,902 Repeat, already has a yellow legal pad going. 16 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,462 I'm not stalking. 17 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,304 I just jotted down a few details to help me find her. 18 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:47,642 Uh, like the fact that her smile was cute, but a bit crooked... 19 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,375 which can be a sign of teeth grinding. 20 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,509 So I called up the city's top five T. M.J. Specialists... 21 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:54,815 and h-h-h-here's where it gets interesting. 22 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,322 Not interesting, Ted. Creepy. Let her go. 23 00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,985 - No, this is destiny. - No, Ted, this is forcing it. 24 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,258 When Lily and I met, I mean, that was destiny. 25 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,059 She could've knocked on any door... 26 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,572 to find someone to fix her stereo... 27 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,090 but she knocked on mine. 28 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:13,905 Now hand over the pad. 29 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:21,703 And the backup pad. 30 00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:24,579 They were right. You can't force destiny. 31 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,141 If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. 32 00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:29,988 And funny story, kids. 33 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:32,286 Oh, my God. It's you. 34 00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:34,349 It happened. 35 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,602 Subway girl's name is Jeanette... 36 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,872 and she does grind her teeth. 37 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,176 I assume that started the moment she met you? 38 00:01:56,349 --> 00:02:00,217 Uh, well, the fact is she wanted to find me. 39 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,015 The first thing I did was list out... 40 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:04,181 all the details I remembered about you. 41 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,122 Is that a yellow legal pad? 42 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,524 Yeah. I've even got a backup. 43 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,324 Oh, my God. 44 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:13,365 You had a tweed blazer and chalk all over your hands... 45 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:16,231 so I figured you were either a professor or a British gymnast. 46 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,066 I'm bloody good on the pommel 'orse. 47 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,703 Regrettin' this accent. 48 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:24,709 Can't seem to stop. 49 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,438 Then I asked the lady at the student center... 50 00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:27,912 where I could find the youngest... 51 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,312 cutest professor on staff. 52 00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,907 - And? - She sent me to a physics class. 53 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,078 Professor Leyborne? 54 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,122 I wonder if she'd think "Dr. Goodhair" was so cute... 55 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,589 if she knew he hasn't been published in over a year. 56 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,148 Then she sent me here... 57 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:42,387 but the security guard wouldn't let me in without an I.D. 58 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:46,091 I was about to give up when the fire alarm just sent you out. 59 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,327 - It was like... - Destiny. 60 00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:51,063 Right? Right? It's a meet-cute. 61 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:53,162 It's a stalk-crazy. 62 00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:56,834 Look, there's a fine line between love and insanity. 63 00:02:56,910 --> 00:03:00,073 It's the Dobler-Dahmer theory. 64 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:03,115 Damn, I always forget the little one. 65 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,583 If both people are into each other... 66 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,620 a big romantic gesture works. 67 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,019 Like Lloyd Dobler holding up the boom box... 68 00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,216 outside Diane Court's window in Say Anything. 69 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:14,692 But if one person isn't into the other... 70 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,720 the same gesture comes off serial-killer crazy, or Dahmer. 71 00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,129 Now, Marshall... 72 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,691 the story of how you asked out Lily is super sweet. 73 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,696 ♪ Lily, how you thrill me but it may just even kill me ♪ 74 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:31,369 ♪ If you do not say "I will-y" to this question ♪ 75 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:37,473 ♪ Will you go out with me? ♪ ♪ 76 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,275 I will-y. 77 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,843 Dobler. 78 00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:44,014 But if Lily wasn't into you? 79 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,785 ♪ Lily, how you thrill me ♪ 80 00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:47,917 ♪ But it might just even kill me ♪ 81 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:51,725 ♪ If you do not say "I will-y" to this question ♪ 82 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:56,226 ♪ Will you go out with me? ♪ ♪ 83 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,069 Dahmer. 84 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:02,073 Whether a gesture's charming or alarming... 85 00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:03,802 depends on how it's received... 86 00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:06,470 and I was charmed by Jeanette finding me. 87 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,480 Hence, she's a Dobler. 88 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,573 Don't you think it's a little convenient... 89 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:13,983 how that fire alarm happened to randomly go off? 90 00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:15,281 What are you saying? 91 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,915 - Ted, does she have enormous cans? - No. 92 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:20,960 Then what we're saying is she's a crazy stalker bitch who pulled that fire alarm. 93 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,824 - You should run screaming. - Guys, you know what? 94 00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:26,797 L-I don't think that we should be so cavalier with the word "stalker." 95 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:30,131 - Why does that word bother you so much? - Doesn't bother me. 96 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,637 Wait. Do you have a stalker? 97 00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:35,463 I don't want to talk about this. 98 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,475 As your fiancé... 99 00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:39,807 if you have some psycho stalker out there, I should know. 100 00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:44,213 It was me! I was a stalker. It was back in Canada. 101 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,014 I liked a guy and he didn't like me... 102 00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:50,021 and, well, I got a little obsessed. 103 00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:52,887 I'd fill up my journals all about him... 104 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:58,056 and eventually, there may have been a teensy-weensy 50-meter restraining order. 105 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,292 Fifty meters? 106 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:03,062 That's like... four years. 107 00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:04,925 Wow. 108 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:07,029 You must have been a total nut bag. 109 00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:10,234 I wasn't. Ted is right. There is a fine line. 110 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,141 Anyone can cross it and get obsessed. 111 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,202 Yeah, if you're a total nut bag. 112 00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,842 Now, uh, who's the guy? 113 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,647 I'm not telling you until you admit that this can happen to anybody. 114 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,915 - I'm not admitting that. - Fine. Forget it. I'm not telling you. 115 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,081 Fine. Forgotten. 116 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:37,865 You are so beautiful. Why can't you see me? 117 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:42,067 Someday, I'll make you see me, and we'll be together. 118 00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:44,439 P.S. I love you. 119 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:48,037 P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. 120 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:52,483 P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. 121 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,986 This is ridiculous. 122 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,022 Who cares who she was obsessed with? 123 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,923 What, am I gonna go to Canada and track this guy down? 124 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,556 Thankfully, unlike Uncle Barney... 125 00:06:03,629 --> 00:06:05,961 I wasn't the kind of guy to fixate on one little detail. 126 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,693 That fire alarm, did you pull it? 127 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,702 This is embarrassing. 128 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,204 I wasn't gonna tell you this, but... 129 00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:14,762 I'd come so far... 130 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:19,005 only to be sent packing by that security guard, and well... 131 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:26,376 I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you. 132 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:32,656 Could not stand the idea of not meeting me. 133 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,320 Was it a little over the top to pull that fire alarm? Perhaps. 134 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:40,594 But it charmed me. Hence, Dobler. 135 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,793 Aha! You see? 136 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,394 People don't put fire alarms out in front lobbies... 137 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,405 for just anyone to prank pull. 138 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,998 They put smoke detectors up on the ceiling. 139 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,907 Hold on. 140 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:55,505 I'm beginning to think that you guys didn't come here to see my new lectern. 141 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,106 Are you implying Jeanette started a fire? 142 00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,880 - Dahmer. - Dobler. 143 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,717 She's John Cusack. I'm lone Skye. 144 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,725 And there is nothing weird about that. 145 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,252 Gordie Bellavoh. 146 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,093 Thanks again for the free doughnuts, eh? 147 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,634 So, you up here visiting family? 148 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:18,101 No. I'm not Canadian. 149 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,969 Not even a quarter Canadian on my father's side. Shut up. 150 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,176 We're not talking "aboat" me... about me. 151 00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,643 Whoa. 152 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,612 How long did you and Robin date? 153 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,205 Well, it wasn't really dating. 154 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,751 We'd take a sixer of Labatts behind the hydro plant... 155 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,912 and she'd let me go under parka, over turtleneck. 156 00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,955 Summer love. 157 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,621 Was Robin obsessed with you? 158 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,182 No. No. 159 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:42,955 Robin was way more into this guy named... 160 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,997 Turk Grimsby. 161 00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:47,555 I hear Robin was obsessed with you? 162 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,830 No. We only went out a few times, barely knew each other. 163 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:53,269 All we talked about was her relationship with her mother... 164 00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:55,034 the gnawing feelings of inadequacy... 165 00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:57,735 all the horrible secrets on that side of the family. 166 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,711 But heck, you're her fiancé. You know all that, right? 167 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:02,908 Yeah. 168 00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,542 Robin was way more into this other guy. 169 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,587 Can't seem to remember his name. 170 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:11,335 Though sometimes a powdered jelly can help get the old noodle going. 171 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,018 Ah. 172 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,493 His name's... 173 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,531 Simon Tremblay. I should have known. 174 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,692 Eh. Thanks for the free doughnuts. 175 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,462 They're just doughnuts! Okay? 176 00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:26,437 They're like two for a loonie... dollar. What's happening? 177 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,964 Oh! Somebody moosed down all the jellies. 178 00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:31,762 Have you been hanging out with Turk Grimsby? 179 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,003 So how serious were you and Robin? 180 00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,777 Well, serious enough to pop the question. 181 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:38,874 Wow. Really? 182 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:40,509 Yeah, sure. 183 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,146 Got down on one goalie pad. I said, "Robin... 184 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,419 could we keep dating, but I get to stick it to other babes?" 185 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:49,290 - Turned me down. - I'm so sorry. 186 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,456 Oh, that's okay. I really wanted to stick it to Louise Marsh. 187 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:58,636 Still, as the years pass and you take stock of your life... 188 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,264 part of me wishes I could've kept sticking it to Robin too. 189 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,742 So are you the one that Robin stalked? 190 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:07,904 Oh, that story goes back to the 1996 Grey Cup. 191 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:11,643 - What in God's name is that? - Only Canada's Super Bowl. 192 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,380 Underneath the Tunes on MuchMusic? 193 00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:19,322 Again, I have to go with, "What in God's name is that?" 194 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,293 It's only Canada's VH1's Behind the Music. 195 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,226 There's one all about Robin Sparkles. 196 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,925 Tells you the whole story from "A" to zed. 197 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,939 Kids, relationships are built on trust. 198 00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:43,106 So unlike Uncle Barney, I wasn't gonna keep digging and digging. 199 00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:45,173 Did you start a fire? 200 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,379 This is embarrassing. 201 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:51,582 I wasn't gonna tell you this, but... 202 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:55,821 I'd come so far, only to be sent packing by that security guard... 203 00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:59,160 and, well... 204 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:00,562 I'm sorry. 205 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:04,194 I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you. 206 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:10,140 Could not stand the idea of not meeting me. 207 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,609 She set a fire, Ted! Dahmer. 208 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,976 You're just jealous 'cause Lily never burned anything for you. 209 00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:16,674 Clearly you never tried her pot roast. 210 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,215 I actually brought this for something different... 211 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,481 but it worked out, right? 212 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,182 Okay, anyway, here's my thing. 213 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:28,989 Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my back pocket the answer to the question... 214 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,894 "Who was Robin obsessed with?" 215 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,955 Hang on tight. 216 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,297 It's Robin Sparkles 4, y'all! 217 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,705 Shh! Shh! 218 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,512 With her jelly bracelets, graffiti coat... 219 00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,847 and totally rad robot... 220 00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:56,649 no one symbolized the 1990s in Canada like Robin Sparkles. 221 00:10:56,722 --> 00:11:00,055 But as we'd all learn one heartbreaking Grey Cup Sunday... 222 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,560 Canada's sweetheart had a dark side. 223 00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:04,323 I'll never forget that moment. 224 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,831 A little piece of Canada died that day. 225 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,595 To see her throw her life away like that... 226 00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:11,998 it was heartbreaking. 227 00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,766 I am so happy right now. 228 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,831 - I want to see her throw her life away so badly. - Yeah. 229 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:19,503 - We're all terrible people. Turn it up. - Yeah. 230 00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,739 Sparkles's hit records "Let's Go to the Mall'... 231 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:24,840 and "Sandcastles in the Sand" both went maple... 232 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,851 with "Mall" eventually going double maple. 233 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:30,411 I never admitted this till now, but before a big game... 234 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:34,357 I'd listen to "Sand Castles in the Sand" and get a good cry on. 235 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,258 I'm not ashamed. 236 00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:40,264 But after endless touring, Robin started to crack. 237 00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:42,698 Who doesn't love the mall? 238 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,759 Shopping with your friends and... 239 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:49,571 I can't do this. 240 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,906 Get this out of my face, please. 241 00:11:51,977 --> 00:11:53,604 Thank you. Pardon me. Thanks. Sorry. 242 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,479 Even when Canadians are mean, they're polite. 243 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,280 Her record producer, Chuck "Chuck" Gerussi. 244 00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:03,879 Robin Sparkles was big... Gino Vannelli big. 245 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,083 Who I discovered by the way. 246 00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:08,683 Robin's next song, "P.S. I Love You'... 247 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:11,992 was so dark, Dominant Records refused to release it. 248 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,862 Few have ever seen the long-lost music video... 249 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,424 but we found it. 250 00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:18,402 Shh! 251 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:23,966 ♪ Though you're beautiful on your pedestal ♪ 252 00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:28,104 ♪ I see you You don't see me ♪ 253 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:33,243 ♪ Am I just too young or just too dumb? ♪ 254 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:38,154 ♪ Or maybe just too grungy? ♪ 255 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,283 ♪ And I'm wearing my flannel, and I'm thinking of you ♪ 256 00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,953 ♪ I lace up my boots, and I'm thinking of you ♪ 257 00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:46,191 This is the most 1990s music video of all time. 258 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,860 All it needs is a shirtless old man in black-and-white for no reason. 259 00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,167 Shh! 260 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,968 ♪ I'll never move on It'll always be you ♪ 261 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,133 ♪ Every guy that I'm with I'll be thinking of you ♪ 262 00:12:57,209 --> 00:13:01,168 ♪ If I get married, he'll always be second to you ♪ 263 00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:02,839 That's gotta feel good. 264 00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:06,715 ♪ I'll always be waiting for you ♪ 265 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,380 ♪ P.S. I love you ♪ ♪ 266 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:13,357 In 1996, we booked the halftime show for the Grey Cup. 267 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:17,020 Huge gig. We're talkin' Ivor Wynne Stadium in Hamilton... 268 00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,826 just outside of Guelph. 269 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,833 It doesn't get any bigger than that. 270 00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,802 Hello, Canada. 271 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,031 I'm Robin Sparkles. 272 00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:36,305 Actually, I was Robin Sparkles. 273 00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,974 The whole stadium went silent. 274 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:41,781 Right then, I knew something terrible was gonna happen. 275 00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:43,515 My stomach started churning. 276 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:46,524 But Robin Sparkles is dead. 277 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,891 All I could hear was Paul Shaffer's stomach growling. 278 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,590 Stress goes to my stomach. Sue me. 279 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,656 It was kind of disgusting. 280 00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:56,223 I'm sorry, Jason Priestley. 281 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,395 I didn't realize you were the Queen of England. 282 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:01,371 My new name is... 283 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,103 Robin Daggers! Two, three, four! 284 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:08,374 ♪ Though you're beautiful ♪ 285 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,915 That day is now known in music history... 286 00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:13,850 as the day grunge was born. 287 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,683 In 1996, in Canada? That seems right, Trebek. 288 00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:18,780 Give him a break. He's not a music guy. 289 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,883 That day is now known in music history... 290 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,554 as the day that grunge was born. 291 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:24,857 Well, that's a bummer. 292 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,922 It was tragic. 293 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,490 I mean, to this day... 294 00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:33,368 you ask any Canadian where they were when Robin Sparkles lost it... 295 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:36,306 not only can they tell you which Tim Hortons they were in... 296 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,434 but what doughnut they were eating. 297 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,606 Me? Wawa, Ontario. Blueberry fritter. 298 00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:46,310 Halifax, Nova Scotia. Walnut crunch. 299 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:49,479 Victoriaville, Quebec. Sour cream plain. 300 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:53,116 Sudbury, Ontario. Honey dip. 301 00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:56,958 Red Deer, Alberta. Chocolate glaze. 302 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,497 Squamish, British Columbia. 303 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:03,399 Crammed a Timbit into a strawberry vanilla and invented The Priestley. 304 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:06,666 Should've been the best day of my life. 305 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,640 It was horrifying on so many levels. 306 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,572 Actually, you know what? 307 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:17,742 I'm sorry, I can't... I just can't talk about this. 308 00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:20,114 I'm out of here, okay? I'm out of here. 309 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,585 Here, excuse me. I'm sorry. Will you take... 310 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,283 No, no, don't move. I'm out. Sorry, sorry. 311 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,291 Speculation began immediately. 312 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:31,295 Who was Robin Sparkles singing about with those angry, obsessive lyrics? 313 00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:32,955 Many names were suggested. 314 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,296 - It wasn't me. - It wasn't me. 315 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,494 - Wasn't me. - It wasn't me. 316 00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:40,470 - It wasn't me. - It wasn't me. 317 00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:44,942 Why does everyone always think... it's me? 318 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,500 I wish it was me. 319 00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,773 But one name comes up more than any other. 320 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,147 Alan Thicke. 321 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:55,152 How can I help you? Doughnut? 322 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,159 Whoa. 323 00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:07,755 What happened to you? 324 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,291 Underneath the Tunes today. 325 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,304 Wait, what? 326 00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,363 You guys get MuchMusic down here? 327 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:19,539 And that video led me to... 328 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:22,876 I am engaged to Robin Scherbatsky... 329 00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,746 and I know that she wrote "P.S. I Love You" for you. 330 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,218 Now-Now, why is she so obsessed with you? 331 00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:30,755 What? That song's not about me. 332 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:34,190 Then who is it "aboot"? About! Damn it! 333 00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,318 I don't know. I always thought it was Coulter. 334 00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,853 It wasn't me. Stop asking. 335 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,298 Geez, cut it out. 336 00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,269 I always liked that joke. 337 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:47,899 Alan Thicke kicked your ass. 338 00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:52,566 He lied, didn't he? It was Alan Thicke! 339 00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,134 Wow. 340 00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:56,773 It sounds like you've become a bit obsessed, huh, Barney? 341 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,714 I am not obsessed. 342 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:02,276 All I did was break into your apartment and read your teenage journals... 343 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:06,188 and fly to Vancouver to interrogate your ex-boyfriends... 344 00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:11,753 and fight beloved Canadian actor Alan Thicke... to a draw. 345 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:14,128 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 346 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,895 So, ready to admit it? 347 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:21,099 Anyone can get obsessed. 348 00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:23,073 Thank you. 349 00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:27,203 And now, I am ready to tell you who "P.S. I Love You" is about. 350 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,871 Who? 351 00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:32,644 P. S... Paul Shaffer. 352 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,209 Paul Shaffer? 353 00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:38,586 I know. So stereotypical. 354 00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:40,784 Every young Canadian girl... 355 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:43,293 fantasizes about being with Paul Shaffer. 356 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,423 At the Grey Cup gig, Paul was sitting in the front row. 357 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,231 ♪ I'll always be waiting for you ♪ 358 00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:54,670 No wonder his stomach was growling. 359 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,732 I feel bad that I scared Paul. 360 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,244 He's amazing. 361 00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,307 But I have no regrets. 362 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:04,974 I was done being Robin Sparkles. 363 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:08,486 You're not gonna go get beat up by Paul Shaffer now, are you? 364 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:12,320 I can't believe it. I'm a total Dahmer. 365 00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:16,157 Yeah, but you're my Dahmer, which makes you a Dobler. 366 00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,786 Just like Jeanette. 367 00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:23,392 No! Ted, what that woman did to "run into you" was bonkers. 368 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,232 That's just not how you start a healthy relationship. 369 00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:26,862 Tell him, Lil. 370 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,067 I can't stand it anymore. I've been living a lie. 371 00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:32,201 See? 372 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,904 I saw you at orientation... 373 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,777 and I needed an excuse to meet you, so... 374 00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:42,476 I didn't know which room you were in, so I had to create a little destiny. 375 00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:57,868 Okay. 376 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:05,642 I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you. 377 00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:13,745 Could not stand the idea of not meeting me. 378 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,889 I'm sorry, Ted. You were right. 379 00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:23,485 Jeanette's a Dobler. So are you. 380 00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:25,496 - Thanks, buddy. - Hmm. 381 00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:29,565 If you hadn't been reading the exact same book as me... 382 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,125 we never would've met. 383 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:33,330 I mean, that's destiny. 384 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:37,569 Oh, look. You bought it in the same bookstore I did. 385 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:42,774 On the same day. Within 10 minutes of me buying mine. 386 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,249 Uh, this is embarrassing. 387 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,411 I wasn't gonna tell you this... 388 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,614 but I followed you to that bookstore. 389 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:54,420 I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you. 390 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,856 You followed me to the bookstore from where? 391 00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,091 H-How long have you been following me? 392 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:02,895 Uh, this is embarrassing. 393 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,562 Uh, remember when you were on the cover of New York Magazine? 394 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:08,367 That was, like, a year and a half ago. 395 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,869 Yeah. 396 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,776 Before a man meets the woman he'll marry... 397 00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:16,609 he'll make one final, horrible mistake. 398 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,809 For me, that was Jeanette. 399 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,681 ♪ P.S. I Love You ♪ 400 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,020 ♪ The law can't stop my love ♪ 401 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,323 ♪ I'll fit you like a glove ♪ 402 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:34,161 ♪ Restraining orders don't scare me ♪ 403 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:39,500 ♪ The lawyers at the record company made me promise to say ♪ 404 00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,971 ♪ "That the views expressed in this song do not necessarily ♪ 405 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,530 ♪ Reflect the views of Dominant Records ♪ 406 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:47,670 ♪ Or any of its subsidiaries" ♪ 407 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,976 ♪ I'm totally a slacker, and I don't even care ♪ 408 00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:52,448 ♪ With my curling zines and my faraway stare ♪ 409 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:56,647 ♪ But deep down inside, yeah, deep down inside I'm dying ♪ 410 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,020 ♪ I'm trapped in a cage of the tears I cry ♪ 411 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,457 ♪ I'm praying to God, but she doesn't reply ♪ 412 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:03,653 - ♪ Even the robot says... ♪ - Move on. 413 00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:06,527 ♪ I'm trying ♪ 414 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:09,931 ♪ P.S. I love you ♪ ♪ 32005

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