Original subtitles

Ben: I GREW UP IN THE NORTHWEST SECTION OF BALTIMORE.

IT WAS ALL JEWISH.

IN FACT, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF IT IN THOSE TERMS.

I JUST ASSUMED EVERYONE WAS JEWISH.

Teacher: ABRAMS.

Ben: THE WHOLE WORLD WAS JEWISH.

ACKERMAN.

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS IN THE SECOND GRADE

THE FIRST CLUE THAT SOME PEOPLE WERE DIFFERENT

OCCURRED TO ME THEN.

COHEN.

COHEN.

COHEN.

DER.

Ben: I EVEN THOUGHT PING DER WAS JEWISH.

THE "PING" PART DIDN'T SOUND JEWISH,

BUT I JUST ASSUMED IT WAS A NICKNAME.

HER BROTHER'S NAME WAS MINHUEY,

AND THAT DEFINITELY SOUNDED JEWISH.

I BEGAN TO SENSE THERE WAS A WORLD BEYOND WHAT I KNEW

WHEN I HAD LUNCH AT BUTCH JOHNSON'S HOUSE.

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG, BEN?

NO, THIS IS FINE.

I JUST NEVER HAD RAW BREAD BEFORE.

Mrs. Johnson: WHAT?

WE ALWAYS COOK IT.

YOU KNOW, TOAST IT.

OH, I CAN DO THAT.

NO, THERE'S TOO MUCH WHITE HERE.

THE MILK IS WHITE, THE BREAD IS WHITE.

IT'S ALL WHITE STUFF.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY HAVE?

NOT THIS.

Ada: WHAT WAS ON THE BREAD?

LUNCHEON MEAT. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT.

NOT BOLOGNA? NOT SALAMI?

NO. LUNCHEON MEAT

WITH MAYONNAISE AND MILK.

EVERYTHING WAS WHITE.

WELL, THEY MUST NOT BE JEWISH.

THEY'RE THE OTHER KIND.

Ben: A COUPLE OF YEARS LATER, I BEGAN TO REALIZE

THAT "THE OTHER KIND" WAS ABOUT 99% OF THE WORLD.

I WENT TO SCHOOL THINKING EVERYONE WAS JEWISH.

NOW I KNOW ALMOST NO ONE IS JEWISH.

THE OTHER KIND.

I WAS REMINDED OF THAT REVELATION

THE SUMMER MURRAY, SHELDON, AND MYSELF

WENT TO THE TURKEY HILLS SWIM CLUB.

SHE'S GOT TO BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL

ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

LOOK AT THOSE CIGARETTES.

SO SEXY.

SO SEXY.

* I GOT STEAM HEAT *

SHE'S GOT TO BE WILD.

IF SHE'S DOING THAT WITH A PACK OF CIGARETTES,

SHE'S GOT TO BE WILD.

* I NEED YOUR LOVE *

* TO KEEP AWAY THE COLD *

* THEY TOLD ME TO SHOVEL MORE COAL IN THE BOILER *

* THEY TOLD ME TO SHOVEL MORE COAL IN THE BOILER *

* THEY TOLD ME TO SHOVEL MORE COAL *

* IN THE BOILER *

* BUT THAT DON'T DO ME-- *

Ben: HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THAT ORDER?

Sheldon: WHAT?

THAT, UH, THAT THE JEWS SHOULD BE FIRST.

YEAH, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT'D BE DOGS, COLOREDS,

THEN JEWS.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME MEETING

TO COME UP WITH THAT,

'CAUSE SOME GUY, YOU KNOW,

HE HAD TO SAY, "I HAVE TO TELL YOU,

THE JEWS BOTHER ME MORE THAN THE DOGS."

SO NOW A DOG GOES THERE.

DOES HE READ THE SIGN AND LEAVE?

Murray: I DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE PUT THE DOGS FIRST.

A DOG CAN TAKE A PISS. YOU'RE WALKIN' BAREFOOT.

ON THE OTHER HAND,

A JEW IS NOT GONNA LIFT HIS LEG AND PEE ON THE WALL.

YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN A COLORED PERSON

SWIM OR SUNBATHE, PERIOD. DID YOU?

NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,

I DON'T THINK I HAVE.

'CAUSE I'M THINKIN' ATLANTIC CITY.

THAT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE ON THAT BEACH.

NEVER SEEN A COLORED PERSON ON THE BEACH.

SO THIS IS DEFINITELY DIRECTED MORE AT THE JEWS, THEN.

Announcer: THE SCHOOL YEAR BEGINS IN ONE WEEK,

AND ALL PUBLIC SCHOOLS WILL IMPLEMENT

THE NEW INTEGRATION LAW.

BALTIMORE CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT OFFICIALS

DO NOT ANTICIPATE ANY PROBLEMS

IMPLEMENTING THE NEW LAW.

Ben: SUMMER FADED AWAY.

THE SUMMER FADED AWAY AND WHAT?

THE END OF SUMMER.

IT'S A COMPOSITION OF WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER.

IT'S HARD TO READ.

HARD TO READ. WHAT'S THAT WORD?

MMM...JEWISH.

JEWISH, I THINK.

Van: JEWISH?

BE BACK IN A LITTLE WHILE.

Morris: LIKE CLOCKWORK, IF IT'S ROSH HASHANAH,

NATE AND CHARLIE MUST PAY A VISIT.

WHAT CAN I SAY? IT'S TRADITION.

THE CANTOR SINGS,

THAT'S OUR CUE TO SEE THE NEW CADDY.

PRETTY. PRETTY IN GREEN.

THEY'RE CALLING IT "MIST GREEN."

IS THAT WHAT THEY'RE CALLING IT?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING

TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE CONVERTIBLE.

AH, ADA KEEPS TALKING 4 DOORS,

CONVENIENCE.

CARL ZEITSOFF WAS IN.

I TOLD HIM YOU WERE COMING TO SEE THE NEW CADDIES.

6-9-9.

HE ALWAYS BETS THE SAME NUMBER.

FOR 10 YEARS NOW IT IS THE SAME NUMBER.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A SHOCK

IF THERE WAS ANOTHER NUMBER ON THIS PAPER.

IS THERE ANY PRICE INCREASE THIS YEAR?

LET'S GO BACK AND LOOK AT THE PAPERWORK.

I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO LOOK IT OVER.

IT JUST LITERALLY CAME IN.

GET A HAIRCUT.

I'M LETTING IT GROW LIKE SAMSON'S,

SEE HOW STRONG I GET.

HOW ARE THE COLOREDS DOING IN SCHOOL?

THEY'RE DOIN' GOOD. DOIN' GOOD.

THEY'RE GETTING BETTER GRADES THAN I AM.

GIRL'S PRETTY ATTRACTIVE.

WHAT?

UH, SHE'S ATTRACTIVE.

JUST KILL ME NOW.

JUST KILL ME NOW!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "SHE'S ATTRACTIVE"?

PRETTY.

OH, MY GOD!

WHAT? I SAID SHE WAS ATTRACTIVE.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M NECESSARILY

ATTRACTED TO HER.

SHE-SHE'S ATTRACTIVE!

BY THE WAY, WHERE'S THE JAWBONE OF THE ASS?

WHAT? WHAT?

THE--THE JAWBONE OF THE ASS.

WHERE IS IT?

Rose: IS HE CRAZY?

WHAT KIND OF A TALK IS THIS?

YOUR ASS DOES NOT HAVE A JAWBONE.

WELL, SAMSON FOUGHT THE PHILISTINES

WITH A JAWBONE OF AN ASS.

NOT YOUR ASS. AN ANIMAL.

THERE'S AN ANIMAL CALLED AN ASS?

SUCH A MOUTH HERE.

Ben: LOOK, HEY, I LOVE, UH, SAMSON AND DELILAH.

I--I--I HOPE THEY BRING THAT MOVIE BACK.

"HE SLEW HUNDREDS WITH THE JAWBONE OF AN ASS."

DO YOU BELIEVE THIS STUFF?

I--I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?

IT'S IN THE BIBLE.

OH, SO THAT MAKES IT TRUE?

IT'S IN THE BIBLE!

A STORY.

YEAH, A TRUE STORY?

IT'S NOT THE QUESTION IF IT'S TRUE.

IF IT'S IN THE BIBLE,

IT'S FOR A REASON.

WHAT REASON?

A GOOD REASON.

THAT'S THE REASON?

IT'S THERE. HE HAD LONG HAIR.

HE WAS STRONG.

HE KNOCKED THE BUILDING DOWN.

IT KILLED THE GOYIM.

FINISH OF THE STORY.

THERE WEREN'T GENTILES YET.

PAGANS.

PAGANS, SCHMAGANS, GENTILES.

SOMETHING, BUT NOT JEWISH.

YEAH, WE KNOW, BUBBE.

IF THEY'RE NOT JEWISH, THEY'RE...

Ben and Van: "THE OTHER KIND."

Ada: WOULD YOU GO MAKE YOURSELVES BUSY?

YOUR FATHER'S NOT GOING TO BE HOME FOR ALMOST AN HOUR.

GO WATCH TELEVISION OR SOMETHING.

Nate: THEY CALL IT "MIST GREEN."

Pete: AH, I THINK IT'S "GREEN MIST."

Nate: HEY, PETE, TELL LOUIE TO PARK THE CAR

AROUND THE BACK.

WE'LL BE COMING OUT AGAIN FOR DINNER.

Pete: YOU GOT IT.

Louie: DO ADA AND THE BOYS LIKE IT?

YEAH, EXCEPT FOR BENNY. HE LIKES THE CONVERTIBLE.

Audience: OHH!

WHOA!

CAN I HELP YOU?

YEAH, I'M HERE TO SEE

THE--THE--THE-- THE--THE--THE--

THE--THE--THE-- THE PHYSICIAN.

Nurse: AND WHAT'S YOUR CONDITION?

Louie: SO WHAT'S THE THOUGHT?

Nate: I DON'T KNOW.

BUT BURLESQUE IS FINISHED, THAT I KNOW.

YEAH, TELEVISION PUTS US IN THE SHIT HOUSE.

HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU WATCH MILTON BERLE

DRESS AS A WOMAN?

THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD SHOWS.

DID YOU SEE MARTY?

"WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT, MARTY?"

"I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?"

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, LOUIE?

MARTY. UH, GUY CAN'T GET A DATE.

HE'S SHY. HE'S A BUTCHER.

DO I CARE?

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU SAW IT.

"MA, I'M AN UGLY MAN. I'M A BUTCHER.

NOBODY WANTS ME."

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM I'VE GOT GOING HERE?

I HAVE TO DECLARE TO THE I.R.S.

THAT I'M MAKING MORE MONEY WITH THIS BURLESQUE HOUSE

THAN I'M ACTUALLY MAKING

JUST TO KEEP THEM OFF MY ASS,

OR THEY'RE GOING TO START LOOKING

AT WHAT ELSE I'M DOING FOR A LIVING.

NOW LAST TIME I LOOKED,

RUNNING A NUMBERS RACKET WAS ILLEGAL.

GOD FORBID THEY SHOULD LOOK IN THE AUDIENCE,

SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE WE HAVE. GOD FORBID!

Nate: ALL RIGHT, TO BE A REALIST,

WE'VE GOT MAYBE 2 YEARS IN THIS JOINT, TOPS.

SO WHERE ARE THEY FR--

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

DON'T GET PERSONAL.

LET ME LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

UH, UH, BA-BOOM!

Audience: BA-BOOM!

BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM!

BA-BOOM! BA-BOOM!

Nate: THE NEW CADDY THIS YEAR COSTS MORE.

NEXT YEAR, MORE STILL.

SAME DOLLARS FROM OUR TAKE ON THE NUMBERS

IS NOT GOOD BUSINESS.

I WANT EVERYBODY TO PUT ON THEIR THINKING CAPS

AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW WE CAN RAISE THE REVENUE

ON THE NUMBERS. I THINK WE CAN DO BETTER.

MEANWHILE, I'VE GOT EVERYBODY WAITING FOR ME

ON A ROSH HASHANAH DINNER.

Pete: I GOT AN IDEA.

I SAID PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAPS.

WE DON'T NEED AN ANSWER RIGHT AWAY.

NO, NATE, I GOT SOMETHING GOOD.

ALL RIGHT. MAKE IT QUICK.

WE INTRODUCE A FOURTH DIGIT AS A BONUS NUMBER.

DOUBLE THE POT.

WELL, HOW DO YOU PAY FOR THIS BONUS NUMBER?

IT'S 10% OF THE ORIGINAL BET.

SO IF IT'S 50 CENTS, IT'S AN ADDITIONAL 5 CENTS.

60 CENTS, 6 CENTS.

70 CENTS, 7 CENTS. A BUCK, 10 CENTS.

IF YOU SUSPECT A PERSON IS A COMMUNIST OR A SOCIALIST,

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN IN AND OF ITSELF?

IF YOU SAY YOU'RE A COMMUNIST

AND WANT TO BLOW UP A BUILDING

OR SELL SECRETS TO A SPY,

THAT'S A DIFFERENT SITUATION.

BUT IF YOU BELIEVE IN

A DIFFERENT ECONOMIC SYSTEM,

THAT SHOULD HAVE NO EFFECT, PERIOD.

COME ON. I CAN'T WRITE THAT.

I COULD WRITE THAT. YOU JUST COULDN'T READ IT.

SUCH A SLOPPY WRITER.

IT WON'T LOOK GOOD IF YOU'RE GONNA GET OLDER.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH McCARTHY,

BUT THANKS.

THE BIG PROBLEM WITH McCARTHY

IS HE PUSHES HIS IDEALS AND BELIEFS

WITH INTIMIDATION AND THAT IS VERY DANGEROUS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR FOR HALLOWEEN.

WHY DO YOU--

YOU'RE ALWAYS CHANGING THE SUBJECT.

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GO OFF ON A TANGENT?

WELL, I'M THINKIN' McCARTHY, WITCH HUNTS,

WITCHES, GOBLINS, HALLOWEEN.

WHAT DO I WEAR?

GO AS A PIRATE.

Nate: THERE YOU GO.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER HAS THE PERFECT SOLUTION.

LECHAYIM.

Family: LECHAYIM.

Group: "YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY

"OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH,

"I WILL FEAR NO EVIL,

"FOR THOU ART WITH ME.

"THY ROD AND THY STAFF, THEY COMFORT ME.

"THOU PREPAREST A TABLE BEFORE ME

"IN THE PRESENCE OF MINE ENEMIES.

THOU ANOINTEST MY HEAD WITH OIL--"

Sheldon: YOU STUCK ON SYLVIA?

I SAW YOU EYEING HER DURING THE 23rd PSALM.

Ben: I WAS WATCHING HER PRAY.

Sheldon: UH-HUH.

SHE WAS REALLY INTO IT.

I MEAN, LIKE, HER HEAD WAS BOWED.

HER EYES WERE CLOSED.

SHE WAS REALLY PRAYING.

WOULD YOU EVER THINK OF TAKING HER OUT?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

NOT IN PUBLIC.

YOU KNOW, ON THE SLY OR SOMETHING.

LOOK, SHELDON, I WAS WATCHING HER PRAY.

I WAS WONDERING WHAT SHE WAS THINKING.

I WAS CURIOUS.

YOU KNOW, COLORED GIRLS ARE GREAT WITH SEX.

THAT SO?

PROVEN FACT.

YEAH? WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR FACTS?

WELL, I ACCUMULATE THIS INFORMATION.

FOR ONE, COLORED GUYS GOT HUGE SCHLONGS.

TWICE THE SIZE OF A WHITE GUY'S.

WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?

ALL RIGHT, NOW, UNLESS YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,

WE GOT A COLORED GUY IN OUR CLASS.

WILBERT MOSLEY.

I'M TAKING A SHOWER WITH HIM.

MINE'S ALL SHRIVELED UP FROM THE WATER.

I GOT MAYBE AN INCH.

HIS...IS HALFWAY DOWN TO HIS KNEES,

I SWEAR TO GOD.

OH, GIVE ME A BREAK!

I SWEAR TO GOD, HIS KNEES.

IT WAS GIVING ME AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX.

SO I'M THINKING THAT THIS CIRCUMCISION THING

THAT WE HAVE DONE, IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT CLIPPING

SOME INNOCENT LITTLE FORESKIN.

IT'S ABOUT STUNTING ITS GROWTH.

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

I'M TALKING ABOUT

WILBERT MOSLEY'S SCHLONG HERE.

HUMONGOUS.

HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME.

SEE THAT GIRL?

WILBERT COULD TAP HER FROM HERE.

I THINK HE'S GOT TO TIE IT TO HIS LEG

WHEN IT'S NOT IN USE.

GOOD GUY. SMART AS SHIT.

LETS ME CHEAT OFF HIM IN MATH SOMETIMES.

BEN IS TAKEN WITH SYLVIA.

SHELDON, WOULD YOU GIVE IT A REST?

MY PARENTS WOULD DIE.

YOUR PARENTS?!

HER FATHER'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST DOCTORS

AT PROVIDENT HOSPITAL. WEALTHY.

YOU'RE WAY TOO LOW-CLASS.

YOU TRY TO TAKE HER OUT, HER FATHER WOULD FLIP.

PLUS YOU'RE JEWISH.

GIVE IT 45 MINUTES.

YOU GOT TO TAKE A SHOWER WITH WILBERT.

YOU WILL BE AMAZED.

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

* SHA-BOOM SHA-BOOM *

* YADDIDY YADDIDY YADDIDY *

* SHA-BOOM * * SHA-BOOM *

* SHA-BOOM *

* YADIDDY YADIDDY YADIDDY *

* SHA-BOOM SHA-BOOM *

SEE YOU LATER, MOM.

BEN'S STILL UPSTAIRS.

YOU'RE NOT GETTING DRESSED?

YEAH, I AM. I'M A BEATNIK.

THAT'S SOME OUTFIT.

HEY, BEN, LET'S GO!

HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO GO AS REINDEERS?

WE'RE VIKINGS.

VIKINGS?! THEY'RE FROM HERE?

Sheldon and Murray: OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY GOD! ADA! OH, MY GOD!

Rose: OH, MY GOD! OH!

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!

HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MIND?!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S HALLOWEEN.

OH, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS BOY.

HE'S A LUNATIC!

BUBBE, THE WAR WAS OVER FOREVER AGO.

OH, I CAN'T BREATHE.

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

TO A PARTY. IT'S HALLOWEEN.

YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE

DRESSED AS ADOLF HITLER.

IT'S HALLOWEEN. THAT'S THE JOKE.

COULDN'T YOU HAVE GONE AS A PIRATE?

OR A REINDEER, HUH?

I CAN'T--

EITHER TAKE THAT OFF OR I'M CALLING YOUR FATHER.

YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT OF THIS HOUSE, PERIOD.

MOM, IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET THIS COSTUME TOGETHER.

I HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY DOWN TO SUNNY SURPLUS DOWNTOWN

JUST TO GET BOOTS LIKE THESE.

OHH! ADOLF HITLER IS IN THE HALLWAY.

I'M CALLING YOUR FATHER NOW.

YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

IT MIGHT BE A TAD TOO MUCH.

* NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NIGHT *

* WE'LL BE IN-- *

Nate: IF WE GOT THIS NEW SYSTEM WORKED OUT WITH THE NUMBERS,

WE SHOULD START.

WE SHOULD GO WITH IT.

IT'S THE END OF OCTOBER. WE SHOULD GO WITH IT...

SECOND WEEK IN NOVEMBER.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THE CALENDAR,

SEE IF WE CAN NAIL DOWN A DATE.

GAIETY.

PETE, PUT NATE ON THE PHONE.

YEAH?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LOOKS LIKE ADOLF HITLER?

HE CAN STAY IN THE HOUSE ALL NIGHT LONG!

HE'S NOT GOING OUT DRESSED AS ADOLF HITLER.

YOUR FATHER SAYS YOU'RE DEFINITELY

NOT GOING OUT DRESSED THAT WAY.

AND I'M NOT CHANGING.

HE SAYS HE'S NOT CHANGING!

I--I WANT TO TALK TO HITLER.

Ada: HE HAS A SWASTIKA ON HIS ARM

AND BIG BLACK BOOTS.

HE'S WEARING BOOTS. BIG BLACK BOOTS.

HE CAME DOWN THE STAIRS

WITH SWASTIKAS ALL OVER HIM.

WELL, PUT THE FUHRER ON THE PHONE.

YOUR FATHER WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

JA?

YEAH.

SORRY.

Ben: UH-HUH.

YEAH.

OK.

YOU GUYS CAN GO WITHOUT ME.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, I'M--I'M HAVING HALLOWEEN HERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH BOYS TODAY.

THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF HISTORY.

WELL, LOOK, THE WAR ENDED WHEN HE WAS 7 YEARS OLD.

IT'S NOW 9 YEARS LATER. TO A KID, THAT'S A LIFETIME.

TO US, IT'S A BLINK OF AN EYE.

YEAH, BUT WHY DOES MY KID HAVE TO DRESS UP

LIKE, UH, HITLER?

HE'S NOT GOING TRICK!

OH, NO! HE'S NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE.

WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?

TRICK-OR-TREAT. IT'S HITLER'S HERE.

Charlie: THAT WOULD LOOK GREAT IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

Nate: HE WON'T GET ANY CANDY.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S GOOD.

Yussel: YOU REALIZE WE HAVE TO CROSS FALLS ROAD

TO GET TO THIS PARTY?

Van: YEAH, SO?

Alan: GENTILE TURF.

Van: NICK CAMPBELL SAID

THIS IS GOING TO BE A HIP PARTY.

Yussel: I DON'T KNOW. ACROSS FALLS ROAD.

OHHH, BOY!

GET READY, FOLKS! JEWS ARE A-COMING!

* TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME *

* TELL ME THAT YOU'RE MINE *

* YOU'RE THE LONELY DOG TONIGHT *

* YOU'RE THE LONELY DOG TONIGHT *

* TAKE MY HAND *

* I'M A STRANGER *

* IN PARADISE *

* OH, LOST *

* IN A WONDERLAND *

* A STRANGER IN PARADISE *

SO WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

FOREST PARK.

FOREST PARK?

OFF, UH, LIBERTY HEIGHTS.

THAT'S--THAT'S JEWISH, ISN'T IT?

DAMN NEAR, YEAH.

A LOT OF JEWS. SEEMS, UH...

SEEMS MORE IS MOVING IN, TOO. YOU KNOW, IT'S...

IT'S GETTING THAT WAY.

[SID CAESAR DOING GERMAN IMPRESSION]

HALT! JA.

DU HAST GESPRITZT ON THE GENERAL?

I--I GO TO THE UNIVERSITY OF BALTIMORE.

THAT'S NICE.

MY MAJOR IS, UH, ECONOMICS.

IT'S SORT OF A SET SUBJECT.

NOT MUCH ROOM FOR EXPRESSIONISM, YOU KNOW?

Mary: YEAH, RIGHT.

Yussel: I DON'T GET TO TALK TO PEOPLE MUCH.

DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE HERE? IS--ARE THESE ARE--

THESE ARE ALL YOUR FRIENDS, YEAH?

YES, WE ALL GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.

OH. PRETTY MUCH.

NICE PEOPLE.

EXCUSE ME.

* WHEN YOU DON'T CARE FOR ME *

* SO WHY SHOULD I PRETEND *

OH, MY GOD!

* I'LL LOSE IN THE END *

* I'M A FOOL TO CARE *

SAY, DOES THAT MAGIC WAND

MAKE ANY WISH COME TRUE?

OH, IT HASN'T WORKED YET.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WISHING FOR?

WELL, THAT'S TOO PERSONAL A QUESTION.

REALLY? I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE TOO PERSONAL. SORRY.

WHY? ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING TOO INTIMATE?

OR DO YOU PREFER SMALL TALK?

YOU KNOW...KINDA GOT ME OFF-GUARD, BUT I--

SHOULD I BE MORE PREDICTABLE?

I'D LIKE YOU TO BE WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

OK.

MAKE A WISH.

OK.

* SO WHY SHOULD I PRETEND *

* I'LL LOSE IN THE END *

WAS THAT IT?

* I'M A FOOL TO CARE *

HOW YOU DOIN'? HA HA.

[SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL PLAYING] Ted: YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

OK, SHE'S YOUR GIRL. I'M VERY SORRY.

I--I DIDN'T KNOW.

THERE ISN'T A GUY AROUND HERE WHO DOESN'T KNOW

THAT I GO WITH MARY.

WELL, HERE I AM. YOU FOUND ONE, OK?

NO HARD FEELINGS.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, SMART GUY.

HEY!

* WELL, YOU NEVER DO NOTHIN' *

* TO SAVE YOUR TROUBLED SOUL *

WHERE YOU FROM?

FROM FOREST PARK.

JEWISH?

WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

IT'S JUST A QUESTION.

DO YOU HAVE A POINT?

IT'S JUST A QUESTION.

I'M NOT HERE TO ANSWER YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS.

HEY!

TED! STOP IT! TED, IT WAS NOTHING.

LOOK, I'M JUST ASKING IF HE WAS JEWISH.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

FUCK YOU, TAB HUNTER.

* SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL *

* I SAID SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL *

STOP IT, TED!

STOP IT!

HEY! NOT INSIDE. OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE.

OK. YEAH?

YEAH. FINE. OUTSIDE.

YEAH, LET'S GO.

WON'T EVEN SAY HE'S JEWISH.

OH, SHIT. * GO *

HEY, GIVE ME A BEER.

GET ME ONE, TOO.

* GO *

* GO *

* GO *

VAN?

VAN?!

NOT NOW.

VAN, WE GOT TROUBLE.

WHAT?

IT'S YUSSEL.

I'M SORRY. EXCUSE ME. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

LET'S GO. COME ON.

I'M GONNA KILL YOU GUYS, I'M TELLIN' YOU.

[SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL PLAYING]

OK, LISTEN UP.

THIS IS BETWEEN US, ALL RIGHT?

NOBODY INTERFERES.

HOLD ON. HEY, HEY, HOLD ON A SECOND.

ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON! HOLD ON!

COME HERE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? COME HERE.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

WHAT DID I TELL YOU? WHAT?

I TOLD YOU THAT CROSSING FALLS ROAD WAS A BIG MISTAKE!

ALL RIGHT, SO I'LL GET YOU OUT OF THIS.

I TOLD YOU! STOP IT!

I'LL GET YOU OUT OF THIS. WILL YOU RELAX?

STOP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

STOP--STOP ACTING LIKE THIS.

I'M GOING TO BURY THIS BLOND BASTARD,

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE.

Crowd: OHH.

COME ON. I'M JUST GONNA SLAP YOU.

COME ON. COME ON. I'M JUST GONNA SLAP.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON!

UNH!

UNH! UNH!

COME ON, GET UP.

Ted: YOU KNOW, IT'S A REALLY SIMPLE QUESTION.

ARE YOU JEWISH?

OOH!

UNH!

GET UP! GET UP!

Man: COME ON, MAN.

Ted: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY IT AND IT'S OVER.

IT'S REALLY A SIMPLE QUESTION:

ARE YOU JEWISH?

SAY IT, IT'S OVER, OK?

UNH!

THAT'S ENOUGH, TED.

HIT HIM IN THE STOMACH!

Ted: SAY IT AND IT'S OVER.

SAY IT. SAY IT AND IT'S OVER.

* AND THE ROCK ISLAND LINE, SHE'S A MIGHTY GOOD ROAD *

* THE ROCK ISLAND LINE IS THE ROAD TO RUN *

* YEAH, THE ROCK ISLAND LINE *

* SHE'S A MIGHTY GOOD ROAD *

* YOU GOTTA RIDE, YOU GOTTA RIDE, YOU GOTTA RIDE *

* GET YOUR TICKET AT THE STATION *

* ON THE ROCK ISLAND LINE *

[SINGER IMITATES TRAIN WHISTLE]

* A, B, C, W, H, Y, Z *

* CAT'S ON THE COVER, BUT HE DON'T SEE ME *

* NOW THE ROCK ISLAND LINE, SHE'S A MIGHTY GOOD ROAD *

* THE ROCK ISLAND LINE IS THE ROAD TO RIDE *

* YEAH, THE ROCK ISLAND LINE IS A MIGHTY GOOD ROAD *

* IF YOU WANT TO RIDE IT, GOTTA RIDE IT *

* GET YOUR TICKET AT THE STATION *

* FOR THE ROCK ISLAND LINE *

* ROCK ISLAND LINE IS A MIGHTY GOOD ROAD *

* ROCK ISLAND ROAD, THE ROAD TO RIDE *

* YEAH, THE ROCK ISLAND LINE *

* IT'S A MIGHTY GOOD ROAD *

* GO A-RIDIN' ON THE ROCK ISLAND LINE *

JESUS CHRIST!

WHAT KIND OF PARTY IS THIS?

LET'S GO. COME ON, SLUGGER.

LET'S GO.

NO, I'M OK. I'M OK,

'CAUSE I HAD HIM SET UP, BELIEVE ME.

YEAH, SOME GREAT STRATEGY.

Girl: TREY, HEY!

TREY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

Ted: YOU OK?

OH, YEAH, I'M GOOD.

THE NIGHT IS YOUNG.

HE WAS GETTING WINDED.

THAT'S WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR.

WHERE'S THAT GIRL?

WHAT? FORGET THAT GIRL.

LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE

WHILE THE GOING IS GOOD.

Yussel: WHAT GIRL? WHAT THE HELL GIRL?

Alan: WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD ON.

VAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LET'S GO.

Alan: LET'S GO!

YOU MISSED A LITTLE FISTICUFFS BACK THERE.

THIS IS VERY UNFORTUNATE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S OBVIOUS

THE SMILING PUMPKINS DISTRACTED ME.

Alan: VAN!

HEY, CINDERELLA.

Alan: OK, LET'S GO, LET'S GO. NOW.

Yussel: GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!

DOES THIS THING OPEN?

VAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET'S GO.

CAN I SEE YOU SOMETIME?

COME ON! LET'S GO. NOW. COME ON!

YOU KNOW THAT--WILL YOU GUYS GIVE ME A BREAK

FOR A MINUTE, PLEASE.

WAIT! HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

CINDERELLA?

I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

YOU GOT ANY BEER LEFT, TED?

OH, I KNOW THEY HAVE SOME HARD LIQUOR.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN, UH, DIG UP.

OH, OK.

OH, UH, SORRY I'M LATE FOR THE BALL, SWEETHEART.

WELL, THAT'S A FIRST FOR YOU.

LITTLE CUT THERE.

YEAH. TRIED TO PARK.

I DIDN'T EVEN GET HER NAME.

* OH, LIFE WOULD BE A DREAM *

* IF I COULD TAKE YOU UP IN PARADISE UP ABOVE *

A HORSE IN WASHINGTON? PLEASE!

THERE'S VALIDATION.

IMPOSSIBLE, LENNY.

THE STORY'S ALL OVER THE PLACE.

THIS GUY TALKED HIS DATE INTO BLOWING A HORSE.

HOW DO YOU TALK A GIRL INTO BLOWING A HORSE, HUH?

GIVE ME A BREAK!

DON'T BELIEVE IT, THEN.

GET BACK TO LOGIC, TURK.

WHERE YOU GONNA FIND A HORSE IN WASHINGTON

UNLESS IT'S A POLICE HORSE?

YEAH, AND WHERE'S THE COP?

Murray: EXACTLY.

NICE FEATHERS, BOYS. WHERE'S BEN?

OH, HE'S AT HOME CELEBRATING.

YEAH? I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T LET HIM OUT.

YOU GOT ONE STUBBORN BROTHER.

YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.

Sheldon: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE SINATRA THING?

NO, WHAT?

WE'RE GOING TO THE UPTOWN TO SEE THE MOVIE,

READY TO GET OUT OF THE CAR,

HE SAYS, "CAN'T GET OUT OF THE CAR

UNTIL SINATRA FINISHES."

I TRIED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR.

HE GRABS ME BY MY SHIRT AND YELLS,

"NO ONE WALKS OUT ON SINATRA."

SO WE HAD TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO THE SONG.

THEN WE COULD GO.

LIKE I DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIM AND SINATRA.

Murray: WE WERE LATE FOR THE MOVIE THEN.

I DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE PLOT UNTIL,

LIKE, 2 HOURS INTO IT.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YEAH, IT IS.

Lenny: YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

WHY SPEND A NIGHT WITH JUST ANY KIND OF HORSE

WHEN YOU COULD HAVE A HORSE WITH MONEY,

LIKE FRANCIS THE TALKING MULE.

Sheldon: HE'S NOT A HORSE, HE'S A MULE.

HE'S A MULE, LENNY!

IT'S A WHOLE ANOTHER THING.

IT'S NOT AS BIG A FEAT IF YOU BLOW A MULE, I MEAN--

WONDER WHAT'S BIGGER, A MULE OR A HORSE?

I'D HAVE TO SAY A HORSE, BECAUSE MULES ARE, UH...

INCAPABLE OF REPRODUCING.

HOW DO THEY REPRODUCE?

THEY'RE INCAPABLE OF REPRODUCING.

THEY DON'T REPRODUCE.

DO THEY HAVE SPERM?

HOW DO THEY--HOW DO THEY MAKE MORE MULES?

THEY BREED HORSES AND DONKEYS.

HOW COULD YOU NOT GET HER NAME?

I WAS FLUMMOXED.

I WAS COMPLETELY FLUMMOXED.

SHE--SHE DID THE THING WITH THE WAND

AND I WAS GOING--

GOOD LUCK FINDING HER.

I GOT THIS BAD CASE OF BLUE BALLS RIGHT NOW.

I'M THINKIN' ABOUT HER SO MUCH. I LOVE THIS GIRL.

WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN LOVE ALONE.

SHE'S HISTORY.

AND I TELL YOU, I'M NOT GOING BACK OVER THERE...

WITH THAT--THAT TAB HUNTER.

THAT SON OF A BITCH.

* OH, OH, OH, PLEASE *

* BE MINE, OH, OH, PLEASE *

Van: HE WANTED TO KNOW.

Yussel: LET ME ASK.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WANTED TO KNOW

IF SOMEONE WAS CATHOLIC?

OR EPISCOPALIAN OR PROTESTANT, METHODIST,

WHO GIVES A SHIT?

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

ALL THOSE GROUPS? NOTHING.

THEY--THEY ALL PRAY TO CHRIST.

YOU KNOW, IT'S PERFECTLY FINE

TO HAVE A JEW HANGING OVER THE BED.

JUST DON'T HAVE THAT JEW COME THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR.

A DEAD JEW IS OK.

I THINK THAT'S THE OPERATIVE WORD.

GO--GO FIGURE. THEY ALL PRAY TO A JEW.

SO IN A WAY, THEY'RE ALL REFORMED JEWS AT HEART.

I GOTTA FIND THIS GIRL.

I GOTTA FIND HER.

WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PRAY TO GOD.

A GENTILE GOD, MIND YOU.

Group: THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD;

I SHALL NOT WANT.

HE MAKETH ME TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES.

HE LEADETH ME BESIDE THE STILL WATERS;

HE RESTORETH MY SOUL.

HE LEADETH ME IN THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS...

FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE.

YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY

OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH,

I WILL FEAR NO EVIL...

FOR THOU ART WITH ME.

THY ROD AND THY STAFF, THEY COMFORT ME.

THOU PREPAREST A TABLE BEFORE ME

IN THE PRESENCE OF MINE ENEMIES.

THOU ANOINTEST MY HEAD WITH OIL.

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER.

GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW ME

ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE.

AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER.

AMEN.

HEY, NICK, NICK.

YOU GUYS GOT INTO A REAL BROUHAHA THIS WEEKEND.

YOU ALREADY HEARD ABOUT THAT, HUH?

I HAD A POLICE OFFICER AT MY DOOR THIS MORNING.

WHY? THAT FIGHT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

NO, NO, ABOUT THE CAR CRASH.

YEAH, WHY'S A COP COME AND SEE YOU?

ABOUT YOU GUYS.

US

THE COP SAID HE HEARD

YOU GUYS SAW WHAT HAPPENED,

THAT YOU WERE EYEWITNESSES TO THE ACCIDENT.

YEAH, WELL, THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO SAW THAT.

I MEAN, WHY DO THEY NEED US TO BE WITNESSES?

I DON'T KNOW.

THE GUYS MUST BE GOOFING WITH US,

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE SAW THIS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT-- THEY DON'T NEED US.

YOU GOT ME.

ALL I KNOW IS THE COP SAID TREY TRAVELSTEAD

WAS DRIVING RECKLESSLY, SMASHING PUMPKINS

AND RUNNING THEM OVER.

HE THEN RAN THROUGH THE PATIO AREA,

AND THERE WERE 3 GUYS FROM ANOTHER SECTION OF TOWN.

I KNEW THE NAMES.

WHAT, YOU GAVE THE COPS OUR NAMES?

YEAH. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

THAT'S TERRIFIC, YOU KNOW. COME HERE.

LISTEN, THERE WAS THIS GIRL THERE.

I--I FLIPPED OUT ON HER.

I MEAN, SHE WAS INCREDIBLE.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

I DON'T KNOW. I--

I KNOW YOU KNOW A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE.

MAYBE YOU COULD ASK AROUND FOR ME?

WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE?

SHE'S GORGEOUS. BLONDE.

SHE LOOKED LIKE, UH, CINDERELLA.

REALLY, SHE DRESSED LIKE CINDERELLA.

SHE WAS, LIKE,

SHE HAD A MAGIC WAND AND EVERYTHING.

CINDERELLA DIDN'T HAVE A MAGIC WAND.

IT'S NOT IMPORTANT

IF CINDERELLA HAD A MAGIC WAND.

THIS GIRL HAD A MAGIC WAND, OK?

I NEED YOUR HELP TO FIND THIS GIRL

WITH THE MAGIC WAND, ALL RIGHT?

SHE'S GORGEOUS, BLONDE,

AND CARRIES A MAGIC WAND.

I'M BEN. I'M IN YOUR HOMEROOM.

I KNOW.

WHERE YOU GOING?

I THOUGHT YOU LIVED AROUND SCHOOL.

UH, DOWNTOWN.

I'M GOING--I'M GOING DOWNTOWN. YEAH.

CAN I--CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

Sylvia: I GUESS.

UH...I ALWAYS WATCH YOU SAY THE 23rd PSALM,

AND--AND YOU SEEM SO...

YOU SEEM SO ABSORBED.

WHY?

WHY DO YOU ASK?

WELL, I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE SO REVERENTIAL, I GUESS.

FOR ME, IT'S JUST A MOMENT TO MYSELF, THAT'S ALL.

THE BIG QUESTION IS YOU.

ME

YEAH, YOU'RE JEWISH. SO,

WHAT'S THE 23rd PSALM ABOUT FOR YOU?

I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF IT AS RELIGIOUS.

IT'S JUST SOMETHING I'VE BEEN SAYING EVERY DAY

SINCE FIRST GRADE.

AND?

WELL, I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF THE 23rd PSALM

LIKE, UH... THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

IT'S JUST SOMETHING YOU SAY BEFORE THE GAME STARTS.

HE MAKETH ME TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU?

HONESTLY?

YEAH.

NO IDEA.

HA HA. NO IDEA?

NO I-NO IDEA.

I MEAN, NOBODY'S MAKING ME LIE DOWN.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THESE GREEN PASTURES ARE.

HAS ANYONE EVER ANOINTED YOUR HEAD WITH OIL?

NO. NO.

HAS YOUR CUP EVER RUNNETH OVER?

NO, IT HASN'T.

I'M GOING DOWNTOWN.

THIS IS MY STOP.

I--I THOUGHT YOU LIVED DOWNTOWN.

OH, IS THAT WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO LIVE?

YEAH. WAIT!

SYLVIA, WAIT. CAN I WALK WITH YOU?

UH, CAN I WALK WITH YOU?

Sylvia: I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

WE'RE GETTING CLOSE TO MY HOUSE.

AND MY FATHER COMES HOME IN THE AFTERNOON

ON OCCASION.

HE WOULD NOT BE THRILLED TO SEE ME

WALKING HOME WITH A WHITE BOY.

I UNDERSTAND.

I'M SORRY.

YOU KNOW WHAT? WAIT HERE.

I'LL GET MY MOTHER'S CAR AND PICK YOU UP.

BUT WHEN I DO, GET IN FAST AND GET ON THE FLOOR, OK?

Nate: HEY. Pete: WHAT?

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH 5 OR 6 OF OUR GUYS.

I'M GETTING GREAT FEEDBACK

ON THE BONUS BET.

GOOD. YEAH.

MR. KURTZMAN?

MY COSTUME DIDN'T ARRIVE HERE.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

DID YOU CALL THE SUPPLIERS?

YES, I DID, AND THEY SAID IT SHOULD BE HERE.

BUT IT'S NOT! SO I THINK THAT IT'S LOST.

WELL, I GUESS YOU'LL JUST GONNA HAVE TO MAKE DUE

WITH WHAT'S IN STORAGE, THEN.

NO, I ONLY WEAR MY OWN OUTFITS,

AND THEY'RE VERY EXPENSIVE.

WELL, WHAT CAN I TELL YOU, HONEY?

I'M NOT WEARING ANYBODY ELSE'S COSTUME

ON MY BODY.

DO I NEED THIS?

GET IN.

HURRY UP.

COME ON.

GET ON THE FLOOR.

WHAT?

GET ON THE FLOOR!

IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?

YEAH.

* YES, SHE'S A KIND OF *

* FRIEND INDEED *

* I GOT A WOMAN *

* WAY UPTOWN *

* THAT'S GOOD TO ME *

* OH, YEAH *

* OH, YEAH *

HE'S REALLY GOOD.

HA. YEAH. YOU NEVER HEARD HIM BEFORE?

NAH. NO, NO, I ONLY LISTEN

TO THE REGULAR RADIO.

YOU LISTEN TO REGULAR RADIO?

WHAT IS THIS? WHAT AM I LISTENING TO?

THE--THE OTHER KIND OF--

THE OTHER RADIO.

OK.

THERE'S A PLACE NEAR THE ZOO.

NO ONE WILL SEE US THERE.

HUH?

THE ZOO. I THINK WE SHOULD GO TO THE ZOO.

OH, YEAH. GREAT. GOOD. THE ZOO.

* I GOT A WOMAN *

* WAY UP A-TOWN *

* THAT'S GOOD TO ME *

* OH, YEAH *

Ben: DOES YOUR DAD KNOW CAB CALLOWAY?

WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT?

WELL, HE WENT TO DOUGLASS HIGH.

YOU KNOW, THE NEGRO SCHOOL.

NO, HE DOESN'T.

WHAT ABOUT, UH, BILLIE HOLIDAY?

WHAT, JUST BECAUSE WE'RE NEGROES,

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW ALL THE NEGROES?

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.

OH, DO YOU KNOW ALBERT EINSTEIN, THEN?

UH, NO, BUT, UH...

I THINK MY FAMILY KNOWS SOME OF THE EINSTEINS.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

* YOU MUST HAVE BROUGHT THE BAD WEATHER WITH YOU *

* THE SKY'S THE COLOR OF LEAD *

* ALL YOU LEFT ME IS A FETISH *

DO YOU THINK SHE COULD FIND ONE OUTFIT TO PUT ON?

HEY, SHE'S GOT SOME KIND OF GERM THING.

SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO WEAR ANYBODY ELSE'S STUFF.

* IT'S ALWAYS ME WHENEVER THERE'S TROUBLE *

* OUR WORLD DOES NOTHING BUT TURN *

* AND THE RING, IT FELL OFF MY FINGER *

THIS IS VERY UNIQUE.

OH, YEAH. I'VE GOT A STRIPPER

WHO'S DRESSED LIKE MY COUSIN MARCIA.

* BUT IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER *

THIS IS NUTS. THE ODDS ON FINDING THIS GIRL

ARE, LIKE, ONE IN A MILLION.

TRUST ME, OK? I JUST, I HAVE A FEELING SHE--

SHE'S THERE.

NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT NEIGHBORHOOD,

BUT SHE HAS TO BE COINCIDENTALLY WALKING AROUND

AT THIS EXACT TIME.

THE THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND

IS NICK CAMPBELL IS CHECKING HER OUT.

YOU CAN'T GIVE HIM TIME?

NO, I CAN'T. I CAN'T WAIT.

I CAN'T WAIT. SHE'S ON MY MIND ALL THE TIME.

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?

JUST LOOK FOR THE GLOW OF THE GIRL'S TIARA?

OH, I THINK I SEE SOMEBODY WITH A MAGIC WAND.

IF YOU GUYS WOULD STOP TALKING

AND LOOK AROUND, LOOK AROUND, PLEASE.

SHE'S GONNA BE THE ONE PERSON WALKING AROUND?

* I'VE ALREADY GONE TO THE PLACE I'M GOING *

* THERE'S NO PLACE LEFT TO FALL *

I HOPE SHE DOESN'T HURT HERSELF.

* AND THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SEEN *

COME ON! WHOO!

Yussel: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE RIGHT NOW

Van: UH, I DON'T KNOW.

WE MUST'VE LEFT THE AREA.

GREAT. I'M SORRY.

I HAVE OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND. JESUS.

Alan: MEANWHILE, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD

IS MAKING ME NERVOUS, OK?

I'VE SEEN 3 GUYS

WALKING AROUND WITH TOOLS.

ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA GET US OUT OF HERE.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A DREAM GIRL.

DO YOU THINK THAT MY FATHER

THOUGHT THAT MY MOTHER WAS A DREAM GIRL?

NO, NO WAY.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

ALL RIGHT? THIS GIRL, I'M--I'M OBSESSED.

IT'S--THIS IS MEANT TO BE. PREORDAINED.

DREAM GIRLS WERE INVENTED BY GOD

TO TEASE THE APPARATUS. THAT'S ALL.

ALL RIGHT. YOU SETTLE FOR LESS.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

YEAH, WHAT'S THE POINT?

DREAM GIRLS.

I'D RATHER NOT BE IN THIS CAR

DRIVING AROUND

LOOKING FOR MY DREAM GIRL

WHICH I HAD TO LEAVE

BECAUSE YOU WERE OUT FIGHTING!

DO ME A FAVOR. LOSE MY NUMBER,

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT

TO CONTINUE THIS RELATIONSHIP.

* AND IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER *

COME ON, BABY, COME ON! COME ON!

I THINK SHE'S GOING TO GO TOO FAR.

WE'RE GOING TO JAIL.

DAMN GOOD ACT.

* NO ONE CARES WHAT IT'S ALL FOR *

* YOU'LL BE MARRIED IN THE CLOTHES *

* THAT YOU NEVER WORE * YEAH?

PHIL, HEY.

SOME SHOW. BEST IN YEARS.

LISTEN, IF SHE STARTS SHOWING BREASTS

WITHOUT TASSELS, KILL THE SPOT.

NATE.

NO NIPPLES. IF SHE TAKES OFF HER UNDERWEAR, KILL THE SPOT.

NATE, NO. NATE, BUT--

NO BUTS.

* NO ONE CARES WHAT IT'S ALL FOR *

THIS IS SOME ACT.

YEAH, FOR 23 PEOPLE.

* THAT YOU NEVER WORE *

* SO KEEP YOUR SUITCASE BEHIND THE DOOR *

* IT'S OVER. LET IT GO *

* LET IT GO *

All: MORE! MORE!

I WASN'T FINISHED YET.

OH, YEAH.

MORE!

THAT'S AS MUCH AS YOU CAN SHOW.

I WASN'T GONNA SHOW MORE THAN THAT.

I WAS JUST GONNA GIVE IT A PROPER ENDING.

YEAH, WELL, DO IT TOMORROW NIGHT.

WELL, MY COSTUME SHOULD BE HERE BY THEN.

THIS IS YOUR COSTUME FROM NOW ON.

YOU LIKE?

I LIKE.

YOU?

HE LIKES.

OK.

I LIKE.

UGH.

BEN, I DON'T WANT YOU GOING OUT TONIGHT.

IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.

JUST GOING ON THE PORCH, MOM.

COME ON, STOP FOOLING!

SO, WHAT'S THE NEWS?

WHAT'S THE BIG SECRET?

I WAS WITH SYLVIA.

NO. NO.

IN HER CAR.

OH, NO, HER CAR?

HER MOTHER'S CAR.

YOU GOT LAID. BARE TIT?

DID YOU EVER HEAR NEGRO MUSIC?

UH, I--I NEED DETAILS.

NO, IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THAT.

THE MUSIC'S GREAT.

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?

WE TALKED.

TALKED? BULLSHIT.

NO, I MEAN, WE TALKED.

I HEAR THEY GOT REALLY SOFT SKIN.

I DIDN'T TOUCH HER.

YOU'RE NOT GIVING ME DETAILS.

I'M GOING HOME.

NO, NO, NO, NO. WE TALKED A LOT.

WE TALKED ABOUT NEGRO SINGERS AND COMICS.

IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.

SHE BLEW YOU, DIDN'T SHE?

NO.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

THEN WHY WOULD I TELL YOU

I WAS WITH HER?

I DON'T KNOW, BEN. I MEAN,

YOU TALKED TO THE COLORED GIRL

ABOUT COMEDY AND MUSIC. THAT'S BULLSHIT.

Pete: ALL IN ALL, THE TAKE IS UP 9%.

Nate: GOOD, GOOD.

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? GET A CHAIR.

INTERESTING. WE'RE EVEN GETTING

SOME WHITE BUSINESS.

INTEGRATION. COLOREDS AND WHITES

BETTING NUMBERS TOGETHER.

DOES THE HEART GOOD.

LOOK AT THIS. GERMANTOWN, GOOD.

GREEKTOWN GOOD. EVEN PIGTOWN HAS IMPROVED.

ALL WHITE AREAS,

AND THEY ALL SHOW A BUMP.

NOT TO CAUSE ANXIETY,

BUT I HEAR THE STATE

IS THINKING OF A LOTTERY.

OH, THAT'S OLD TALK.

LUKIE SAPERSTEIN'S BEEN PUSHING THAT

SINCE THE END OF THE WAR.

IT'S GATHERING STEAM IN ANNAPOLIS.

THEY'RE LOOKING FOR NEW REVENUE.

WHAT THEY SHOULD DO IS LEGALIZE GAMBLING.

IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS. VEGAS IS GOING THROUGH THE ROOF.

RIGHT, THEY'VE ALREADY GOT SLOTS

IN ANNE ARUNDEL COUNTY,

THEY SHOULD GO ALL THE WAY.

THE FARCHADAT GOVERNMENT.

WHERE DO THEY COME OFF THINKING

THAT THEY COULD RUN A NUMBERS RACKET?

LOTTERY. IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

THEY'RE MOVING INTO PRIVATE ENTERPRISE.

THEY'RE TAKING MONEY RIGHT OUT

OF THE MOUTH OF THE ENTREPRENEUR.

IT'S NOT RIGHT.

IT SMACKS OF SOCIALISM.

THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T KNOW FROM SHIT.

THEY INTEGRATE THE GOLF COURSE IN '51

AND SCHOOLS IN '54.

WHERE'S THEIR PRIORITIES?

THEY INTEGRATED THE CRICKET FIELD

IN CLIFTON PARK BACK IN '50.

YOU CAN'T FIND A COLORED PERSON

WHO PLAYS CRICKET.

I BEG TO DIFFER. THAT WAS PART OF

THE SEPARATE BUT EQUAL RULING.

THE COLOREDS COULD ONLY

PLAY CRICKET ON TUESDAYS.

YOU CAN'T FIND A COLORED PERSON

WHO WANTS TO PLAY CRICKET

ON TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, OR KISS-MY-TUCHIS DAY.

FOR THAT MATTER, YOU CAN'T FIND

A WHITE PERSON WHO WANTS

TO PLAY CRICKET.

WHAT IS IT WITH THAT GAME?

IT MAKES NO SENSE.

HOW MANY PLAYERS DO YOU NEED?

WHAT DO THEY USE, A MALLET?

ISN'T THAT THE ONE WITH THE HOOPS?

THAT'S CROQUET.

NAW, CROQUET IS SOMETHING YOU EAT.

EVERYTHING IS SOMETHING YOU EAT.

NO, I SAW IT HERE IN THE MENU.

CHARLIE, YOU KEEP AN EYE ON THIS.

JUST WHAT WE NEED. A STATE LOTTERY.

Yussel: WHO, UH, IS GONNA TESTIFY FIRST?

Van: IT'S, UH, ALPHABETICAL, I GUESS.

YOU KNOW, I--I TELL YOU.

I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE TO TESTIFY.

TREY TRAVELSTEAD. YOU KNOW,

THE GUY MUST HAVE COME OVER

ON THE MAYFLOWER WITH A BUNCH OF PILGRIMS.

YOU KNOW, THAT WHOLE PILGRIM THING

MAKES ME VERY UNEASY, VERY UNEASY.

ALAN, WHAT TIME YOU GOT?

IT'S 12:30. WE HAVE TO BE IN COURT AT 2:00.

LET ME ASK YOU GUYS A STUPID QUESTION.

YOU KNOW ALL THESE LAWYER SHOWS?

PERRY MASON AND--

THEY ALWAYS SAY IN THE COURT,

"DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH,

"THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH,

SO HELP YOU, GOD?"

THE WITNESS IS ALWAYS SAYING, "YEAH."

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU SAY NO?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SAY NO?

YOU SAY, "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW,

BUT I WON'T SWEAR TO GOD." WHAT HAPPENS?

YOU GOT ME.

THAT'S INTERESTING. I'LL ASK

ONE OF THE LAW STUDENTS.

WELL, LET'S TRY IT TODAY.

Alan: WHO?

WHOEVER IS CALLED FIRST.

THAT'S GOOD BY ME.

THAT'S GOOD BY YOU?

YEAH, WHY NOT?

NO, THAT'S GOOD BY ME.

HE'S IN.

Assistant D.A.: THE PROSECUTION CALLS

SYLVAN KURTZMAN TO THE STAND.

PUT YOUR LEFT HAND ON THIS BIBLE

AND RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND.

DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH,

THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING

BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP YOU, GOD?

NO.

WHAT?

NO.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

COMMUNIST! YOU'RE A COMMUNIST!

NOTHING BUT A COMMIE! HE'S GODLESS,

I'M TELLING YOU, GODLESS!

YOUR HONOR, HE'S A RED. I'M TELLING YOU,

HE'S GODLESS!

ORDER!

YOUR HONOR, HE'S GODLESS.

ORDER IN THE COURT!

PINKO!

ORDER! ORDER! ORDER!

YOU'RE A COMMUNIST.

ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT! ORDER!

ORDER.

I'D LIKE TO CALL A 10-MINUTE RECESS.

COUNSELORS, SEE ME IN CHAMBERS.

YOU MAY STEP DOWN.

THANK YOU, SIR.

THE GUY'S GOT SOME SERIOUS BALLS.

GOT TO GIVE HIM CREDIT.

Redd Foxx: EVERY YEAR, 50 OR 60 NEGROS PASS FOR WHITE,

AND YOU CAN'T TELL THEM APART 'CAUSE THEY DON'T SMILE,

SO YOU CAN'T SEE THEIR GUMS.

SO, IF YOU'VE GOT A WHITE FRIEND THAT TALKS LIKE THIS,

"HOW YOU FEEL, PHIL? HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A LONG TIME, PAL."

YOU OPEN THAT SUCKER'S MOUTH UP, HE MIGHT BE ONE OF THEM.

I DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE MYSELF, BUT I SAW A LOT OF PEOPLE GO.

NO, I DIDN'T-- I DIDN'T DIG SCHOOL.

I DIDN'T SEE HOW KNOWING WHEN WASHINGTON

CROSSED THE DELAWARE WAS GOING TO HELP ME IN A BRICK FIGHT.

THEY GOT NOTHING ABOUT DUCKING BRICKS IN HISTORY.

I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

IT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?

UNBELIEVABLE. UNBELIEVABLE.

Redd Foxx: I DON'T CARE WHAT COLOR YOU ARE,

WHEN YOU GO HOME AND PULL THE LIGHT OUT,

IT BECOMES A QUESTION OF WHO WASHED.

MR. KURTZMAN. YOU COULD, IN FACT,

BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT,

AND I MAY HAVE RULED SO.

BUT THE PROSECUTION HAS DECIDED

NOT TO PURSUE THIS ACTION.

SO, YOU MAY STEP DOWN.

THANK YOU.

THE COURT CALLS ALAN ZUCKERMAN

TO THE STAND.

STATE YOUR FULL NAME.

ALAN JOSEPH ZUCKERMAN.

PLACE YOUR LEFT HAND ON THIS BIBLE.

RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND.

DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH,

THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING

BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP YOU, GOD?

YES.

BE SEATED.

WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT

OF OCTOBER 28, 1954?

UH, THAT WAS THE NIGHT OF THE ACCIDENT?

OBJECTION. WE HAVE NOT ESTABLISHED

THE NATURE OF THE ACCIDENT

OR THAT AN ACCIDENT DID, IN FACT, OCCUR.

OBJECTION SUSTAINED. ANSWER THE QUESTION.

WELL, IF THAT WASN'T THE NIGHT OF THE ACCIDENT,

UH, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WAS.

YOU GOTTA GIVE ME SOME KIND OF HINT.

WAS THAT, UM, HALLOWEEN?

VAN. HEY, UH, I, UH, JUST WANTED

TO THANK YOU FOR HELPING OUT.

IT WASN'T REALLY ABOUT YOU.

LISTEN. IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU,

DON'T HESITATE. I CERTAINLY FEEL INDEBTED.

LOOK, UH, WE'D LIKE TO OFFER AN APOLOGY TO YOUR FRIEND.

TED WAS OUT OF LINE.

Ted: I DIDN'T MEAN IT THE WAY IT CAME ACROSS.

Yussel: FORGET ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT'S OVER.

Van: YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME.

Trey: WHAT?

THERE WAS THIS GIRL AT THE PARTY

WHO WAS A KNOCKOUT, RIGHT, AND I--I--I--

I DON'T KNOW HER NAME, BUT I'D REALLY LIKE TO FIND OUT.

SO, WHAT? WHAT DID SHE LOOK LIKE?

SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL. BLONDE.

SHE WAS WEARING THIS, LIKE, PRINCESS

OR CINDERELLA KIND OF COSTUME.

YOU, UH, YOU FOUND HER ATTRACTIVE?

OH, UH, SHE--SHE KNOCKED ME OUT.

SOUND FAMILIAR?

I GUESS.

WE'LL ASK AROUND. GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER.

YEAH, SURE THING.

BLONDE. HAD A MAGIC WAND.

THANKS.

I'LL CALL.

GREAT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT DUBBIE,

YOUR GIRL THE LAST TIME I ASKED.

HE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY.

WE'LL FIND HIM ANOTHER GIRL.

THERE'S BOUND TO BE ONE

THAT HE WOULD LIKE.

WHAT ABOUT MAGGIE? SHE'S TO DIE FOR.

YEAH, RIGHT. MAGGIE, CAROLINE, MEGAN.

ONE OF THEM.

* WAY DOWN ON YOUR KNEES *

* YOU MAKE ME ROLL MY EYES *

* BABY, MAKE ME GRIT MY TEETH *

* I SAID, SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL *

* SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL *

* SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL *

* SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL *

* WELL, YOU WON'T DO NOTHIN' TO SAVE YOUR DOGGONE SOUL *

* SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL *

Both: WHOO!

ONE BED, ONE RECORD.

* HIGH ON A SUNDAY KIND OF LOVE *

* I'LL DO MY SUNDAY SCHEMING *

* AND ALL MY SUNDAY DREAMING *

* EVERY MINUTE, EVERY HOUR *

* EVERY DAY *

* I'M HOPING TO DISCOVER *

I'M SORRY. DID I DO THAT?

WELL, UM...

I'M SORRY.

UM, DOES IT HAPPEN THAT EASILY?

NOT THAT I KNOW OF. NO.

IT JUST GOES OFF LIKE THAT?

WELL, I THINK, UH, I'VE BEEN WORKED UP,

YOU KNOW, ALL ALONG, AND, UH, YEAH.

WELL, YOU DON'T LIKE THE RECORDS?

NO, NO, I, UH, I LIKE THE RECORDS.

I JUST THINK IF IT'S, UM, A LITTLE BIT PERCOLATING

FOR A LONG TIME, IT, UH,

WELL, IT'S GOT NO PLACE TO GO.

YOU HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM?

YEAH. YEAH.

IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

OK, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OK. OK.

* WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA *

SO, DO YOU THINK MAYBE, UH,

WE COULD DO THIS TOMORROW?

WELL, I HOPE SO. IF MY MOM'S OUT.

SYLVIA?

OH, MY GOD. IT'S MY FATHER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

GET IN THE CLOSET.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON'T YOU HAVE HOMEWORK?

I WAS JUST TAKING A BREAK.

YOUR MOTHER CALL?

NO, BUT SHE SAID THIS MORNING

TO EXPECT HER EARLY EVENING.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GET BACK TO YOUR HOMEWORK?

OK.

* SWING TO MY BABY *

* INSTEAD OF ME *

* NOW I KNOW THAT IT'S *

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I HAVE A BOY OVER.

BUT IT WAS NOTHING. WE WERE JUST

LISTENING TO RECORDS. THAT'S IT.

AND WHERE IS HE?

HE'S IN THE CLOSET.

IF NOTHING WAS GOING ON, WHY IS HE IN THE CLOSET?

BECAUSE HE'S WHITE.

SYLVIA, HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?

WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

BEN KURTZMAN.

MR. KURTZMAN?

YES, SIR.

MY DAUGHTER IS NOT ALLOWED

TO BE INVOLVED WITH A WHITE BOY.

IT'S NOT A RESPECTFUL WAY TO ACT.

I WAS RESPECTFUL, SIR.

YOU'RE IN MY DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM.

YES, SIR.

MR. KURTZMAN?

YES, SIR?

WOULD YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET, PLEASE?

YES, SIR.

NOW?

I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU

WITH MY DAUGHTER AGAIN.

SIR, I JUST DON'T--

AT SCHOOL, YOU WILL BE RESPECTFUL,

CORDIAL, BUT NO ACTIVITIES

OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL FACILITY.

IS THAT CLEAR?

YES, SIR. I JUST DON'T THINK--

IT'S VERY CLEAR TO MY DAUGHTER.

DON'T YOU AGREE, SYLVIA?

YES.

NOW, MR. KURTZMAN, WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE?

HE NEEDS A RIDE HOME.

I'LL DRIVE HIM.

SYLVIA, YOU WILL REMAIN HERE.

* WITH A RISE OUT OF BEING ALIVE *

* AND HERE IS THE BEST PART *

* YOU HAVE A HEAD START *

* IF YOU ARE AMONG THE VERY YOUNG AT HEART *

THIS IS YOUR HOUSE?

YES, SIR.

SHOULDN'T YOU BE GETTING OUT?

IT'S SINATRA, SIR.

AND SO?

WELL, YOU DON'T WALK OUT ON FRANK, SIR.

I MEAN, IT WOULD BE TOO DISRESPECTFUL.

UH-HUH.

* AND IF YOU SHOULD SURVIVE TO 105 *

* LOOK AT ALL-- *

I GOTTA GO.

* YOU'LL DERIVE OUT OF BEING ALIVE *

* AND HERE IS THE BEST PART *

* YOU HAVE A HEAD START *

* IF YOU ARE AMONG THE VERY YOUNG AT HEART *

OK, IT'S OVER NOW.

GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

THIS IS IT, OK, 2 YEAH.

THE BONUS WAS 4. OK, OK.

LISTEN TO ME. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ON $50?

OK. THAT'S $100,000.

WE'RE SCREWED!

SCREWED IS NOT THE WORD.

YES, I KNOW.

WHO BETS $50 ON A NUMBER?

NOBODY BETS $50.

OH, GOD.

NOBODY BETS $50.

WHAT DO WE GOT IN RESERVE?

WE HAVE ANYTHING THERE?

WE HAVE MONEY IN RESERVE,

BUT NOT ENOUGH TO COVER THE BET.

YOU'VE GOT TO TELL HIM, BUT HE'S AT DINNER.

I WILL CALL HIM, ALL RIGHT?

SHE'S GONNA KILL ME.

IT'S RINGING.

THANKS, MA.

YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

I'M SICK TO MY STOMACH.

I'M SICK TO MY STOMACH.

CHARLIE, WHAT?

SOMEBODY HIT THE NUMBER AND THE BONUS.

YEAH?

YEAH. THE PAY-OUT IS $100,000.

$100,000?

OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU SURE?

I CHECKED IT 6 TIMES OVER.

JESUS.

WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, NATE?

WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY.

I'M COMING DOWN.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

UM, I'VE GOT TO GO. WE'VE GOT PROBLEMS.

Charlie: HIS NAME IS LITTLE MELVIN.

COLORED DRUG DEALER OVER ON PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE.

SELLS REEFER. STRICTLY SMALL TIME.

BETS $50 TO CELEBRATE HIS MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. THIS WIPES ME OUT.

HE CALLED, THIS LITTLE MELVIN.

HE'S COMING BY IN THE MORNING TO PICK UP HIS HAUL.

YOU DIDN'T LET ON?

NO, NO. LISTEN, NATE, I FEEL RESPONSIBLE.

THE BONUS WAS MY IDEA.

HEY, TO HELL WITH THIS APOLOGY SHIT.

I BOUGHT THE IDEA.

NOBODY BETS $50 ON A NUMBER. NOBODY.

A NICKEL, A DIME, A QUARTER, A BUCK.

5 TOPS. 50 NEVER. IT'S UNHEARD OF.

Charlie: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, NATE?

I DON'T KNOW. BUT WE DON'T HAVE

A LOT OF TIME TO FIND A SOLUTION.

SO HOW COME WE NEVER TALK ABOUT WHAT DAD DOES?

BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL.

IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

IS EVERYTHING GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?

YOUR FATHER TAKES CARE OF HIMSELF.

Rose: WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM ABOUT PATTERSON PARK?

Van: WHAT ABOUT PATTERSON PARK?

Rose: WHEN YOUR FATHER WAS A TEENAGER,

HE WENT OVER TO PATTERSON PARK.

Rose: WHY, I'LL NEVER KNOW.

HE SAW SOME GUYS PLAYING BALL,

AND HE TRIED TO GET INTO THE GAME.

ONE OF THE GUYS ASKED IF YOUR FATHER WAS JEWISH.

HE SAID HE WAS. ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER

AND YOUR FATHER WAS BEATEN UP.

BLACK AND BLUE.

AFTER THAT, HE WENT TO THE J.C.C.

EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL TO LEARN TO BOX.

FOR 6 MONTHS, HE TRAINED. EVERY DAY.

THEN HE WENT BACK TO PATTERSON PARK.

GOT UP ON A CAR AND YELLED,

"THERE'S A JEW IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

ANYONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE IT, STEP UP."

HE BEAT UP 7 GUYS THAT DAY.

YOUR FATHER TAKES CARE OF HIMSELF.

All: THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD; I SHALL NOT WANT.

HE MAKETH ME TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES.

HE LEADETH ME BESIDE THE STILL WATERS.

HE RESTORETH MY SOUL.

HE LEADETH ME IN THE PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE.

YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY

OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH...

SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW...

AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER.

AMEN.

MR. MELVIN.

YEAH, YEAH. PETE.

I'M THINKING OF GIVING YOU

THE SOUTHEAST TERRITORY.

YOU TAKE OVER THE NUMBERS.

LONG-TERM DOLLARS.

YOU TRYING TO JEW ME OUT OF MY MONEY?

HEY, YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE!

I DON'T TAKE SHIT FROM NO HEBE, YOU UNDERSTAND?

LISTEN, YOU SPEAR-CHUCKING COON,

I'LL PUT MY FIST DOWN YOUR THROAT.

YEAH, COME ON, YOU HOOKNOSED KIKE!

LITTLE MELVIN DON'T TAKE SHIT FROM NOBODY!

YOU'RE A DEAD MAN,

YOU BUSH-MONKEY BURRHEAD!

LITTLE MELVIN AIN'T SCARED OF NOBODY!

SIMMER DOWN, LOUIE! BUSH MONKEY!

BACK HIM UP, BACK HIM UP, NOW!

STOP IT!

NOW WE'VE ALL COME TOO FAR TO STOOP TO THIS.

Louie: COME ON.

CHARLIE, YOU GIVE LITTLE MELVIN HIS MONEY.

IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE THE BIG PICTURE,

THAT'S HIS PROBLEM.

WHAT'S MY PROBLEM?

NO, NO, NO, LOOK, I--I APOLOGIZE.

YOU JUST MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE,

CHARLIE'S GONNA GET YOUR MONEY.

EXACTLY HOW BIG A PICTURE IS THIS HERE BIG PICTURE?

WELL, THE SOUTHEAST TERRITORY

GENERATES JUST UNDER 10 GRAND A MONTH.

IN LESS THAN A YEAR, YOU'VE GOT PAYBACK.

AFTER THAT, IT'S KA-CHING, KA-CHING,

DAY IN, DAY OUT. THAT'S WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

WEEK IN, WEEK OUT?

OH, IT'S YOUR CALL.

YOU EITHER GO FOR THE SHORT-TERM MONEY

OR YOU GO FOR THE LONG HAUL.

ALL MINE NOW NO MIDDLE MAN?

WELL, WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP THE TERRITORY, THEN?

LOOK, THERE'S NO QUESTION

THAT 100,000 CUTS INTO MY CASH FLOW.

I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.

BUT THIS BURLESQUE, IT'S TOO TIME-CONSUMING.

YOU GET A LITTLE OLDER, YOUR PRIORITIES CHANGE.

WELL...

Nate: THAT WAS A GOOD DECISION.

Little Melvin: YOU JUST BETTER KEEP A LEASH

ON THE PILLSBURY JEW-BOY OVER THERE.

WHERE THE MONEY?

BIGGER THINGS ON THE HORIZON, SCRIBBLES.

Charlie: HOW CAN WE GIVE HIM THE SOUTHEAST TERRITORY?

WE DON'T EVEN OWN IT. IT'S WOP TERRITORY.

Nate: LOOK, LET'S WAIT A COUPLE OF DAYS.

CALL LITTLE MELVIN,

YOU TELL HIM THE SOUTHEAST TERRITORY

THING'S NOT GONNA WORK OUT.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT A NEW DEAL ON THE TABLE.

OH, AND LET HIM PICK THE MEETING SPOT.

MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD.

PHONE BOOK.

Teacher: ALL RIGHT, STUDENTS, SETTLE DOWN.

BOOKS ON YOUR HEAD.

I SLIPPED 2 TICKETS IN YOUR LOCKER.

THE ROYAL, FRIDAY NIGHT.

I THINK YOU'LL LIKE THE ACTS.

FOR THE TWO OF US?

I MEAN, ISN'T THAT A COLORED PLACE?

NO, BRING A FRIEND, AND I'LL GO WITH A FRIEND.

WE WON'T SIT TOGETHER.

IS IT SAFE?

YEAH, DON'T WORRY.

HEY, DO YOU THINK IF A BOMB FELL,

THIS BOOK COULD SAVE MY LIFE?

I DON'T KNOW.

LAST YEAR WE HAD TO LIE ON THE FLOOR.

IT'S A DIFFERENT POSITION NOW.

ONE TIME IT WAS THE ATOMIC BOMB.

ANOTHER TIME IT WAS THE HYDROGEN BOMB.

AND THE HYDROGEN COULD NEVER GET

THROUGH THIS BOOK.

COME TO THE ROYAL.

OK.

SYLVIA GOT ME A COUPLE OF TICKETS

TO GO SEE JAMES BROWN AT THE ROYAL.

WHO?

JAMES BROWN.

WHO'S HE?

HE'S A--HE'S A SINGER.

THE ROYAL. ISN'T THAT...

A COLORED THEATER?

UH, THE PROBLEM IS I CAN ONLY TAKE ONE OF YOU.

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THE DECISION,

SO YOU GUYS--YOU GUYS CAN BATTLE THAT OUT.

YEAH, WELL, UH...

DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

SO SHE'S TAKING A FRIEND,

AND I HAVE TO CHOOSE A FRIEND.

I DON'T--I DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE.

SHE'S TAKING A FRIEND?

YEAH, SHE'S TAKING A FRIEND.

A COLORED GIRL?

I ASSUME SO.

WELL, YOU THINK... I'LL GO.

YOU WANT TO GO?

I WANT TO GO. YOU THINK SHE'D PUT OUT?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, I'M REALLY INTO JAMES BURN, YOU KNOW.

JAMES BROWN.

JAMES BROWN.

WE'RE GOING TO THE SHOW, ALL RIGHT?

I'M GONNA SIT WITH ONE OF YOU GUYS,

SHE'S GONNA SIT WITH HER FRIEND.

WE'RE ALL GONNA GO HOME.

WELL, THERE'S PROBABLY TIME FOR, LIKE...

A LITTLE PUTTING OUT.

A LITTLE PUTTING OUT?

NO, IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF THING.

WE'RE NOT EVEN SITTING TOGETHER.

I'M SURE SHE'LL WANT TO PUT OUT.

YOU'RE SURE OF THIS?

YEAH. BEN...

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

ALL COLORED GIRLS, YOU KNOW.

WELL, IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF THING.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE IT THAT KIND OF THING?

A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED SPANISH FLY.

SPANISH FLY?

THEY WILL GO NUTS FOR US.

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE THEM SPANISH FLY?

WE'RE NOT EVEN SITTING TOGETHER.

GUYS, THAT STUFF IS DANGEROUS.

THERE WAS THIS GIRL OVER IN HIGHLAND TOWN, RIGHT?

SHE RUBBED THAT ALL OVER HER BODY.

YOU DON'T RUB--

IT'S A PILL.

IT'S A PILL. YOU TAKE THE PILL.

WELL, IN HIGHLAND TOWN

THEY RUB IT, OK?

ANYWAY, THE POINT OF THE STORY IS,

SHE RUBS IT ALL OVER HER BODY,

SHE GETS SO WILD,

SHE MOUNTS A STICK SHIFT IN THE CAR.

SHE DIES. SHE DIES-- SHE DIED, SHELDON.

RIGHT. WELL, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS IT GONNA BE?

ME. MMM.

WE'LL FLIP A COIN.

HEADS.

TAILS.

Rose: SYLVAN.

YEAH, WHO IS IT?

TREY TRAVELSTEAD.

YOU KNOW A NAME LIKE THIS?

YES.

OK.

Van: HELLO.

YES, I'LL ACCEPT.

TREY, HEY. WHERE ARE YOU?

OH, YEAH? I DIDN'T KNOW

YOU GO TO WASHINGTON AND LEE?

YEAH, WHEN

OH, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

YEA--GET OFF THE PHONE, BUBBE.

OFF THE PHONE.

OK.

HEY, YEAH, I'LL MEET YOU AT YOUR HOUSE.

YEAH, GOOD. YEAH, GIVE ME THE ADDRESS.

YEAH, WELL, I HOPE SHE'S THERE.

MM-HMM.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU, TREY. YEAH. BYE.

HOPE SHE'S THERE.

HOPE SHE'S THERE.

* YOUR MIND *

* I'D HAVE TO SAY *

* IT'S KIND OF WONDERFUL *

THERE'S $40,000 THERE.

YOU ABOUT 60 GRAND SHY, AIN'T YOU?

WELL, WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

THAT'S JUST TO SHOW OUR GOOD FAITH.

FIRST THE SOUTHEAST TERRITORY DON'T WORK OUT.

THAT'S YOUR CALL.

NOW YOU COME UP IN HERE WITH THIS SHIT?

YOU SOME TRICKY GUYS, AIN'T YOU?

LOOK, I'VE GOT A CAR THAT'S WORTH 3,600,

A HOME THAT'S WORTH 18,000 TO 20,000.

I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE.

I'M LETTING YOU HOLD THE DEED,

AND EACH WEEK YOU'LL GET 2,000.

I WON STRAIGHT UP!

THIS HERE'S SOME BULLSHIT!

I'LL REPORT YOU ALL TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU,

THAT'S WHAT I OUGHT TO DO.

THAT'LL WORK.

IT'S THE BEST I CAN DO.

THIS ABOUT THE GROCERY BAG TEST, AIN'T IT?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

SKIN DARKER THAN THE BAG IS LOW-CLASS.

MAN DON'T GET THE RESPECT HE DESERVES.

YOU KNOW, THEY SAY IF YOU WEAR

A HORSESHOE RING IN THAT DIRECTION,

ALL THE GOOD LUCK TENDS TO RUN OUT.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY YOU SEE IT.

I SEE IT A WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY.

IF THE WHITE MAN GET LUCKY IN ONE DIRECTION,

THE COLORED MAN GET LUCK THE WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY.

AND THAT IS A FACT.

* AND YOU'VE GOT THOSE BABY EYES *

DID HE GO FOR IT, NATE?

WE'LL SEE.

NICE CADDY. I AIN'T SEEN THIS COLOR BEFORE.

DO YOU LIKE IT? TAKE IT.

LOUIE, CALL US A CAB.

I WANT MY MONEY, AND I WANT ALL OF IT.

YOU CAN'T BUY ME OFF.

I'M DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'M HAVING DINNER WITH MY FAMILY.

IT'S FRIDAY EVENING. LET'S GO.

I DON'T THINK YOU TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.

A MAN IN MY POSITION MAKES HIS PRESENCE FELT.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

WHAT?

* CHA, CHA, CHA-CHA-CHA *

* CHA, CHA, CHA-CHA-CHA *

* EL COMPRENDE QUE VIENE LA BASURA *

* EL COMPRENDE QUE VIENE... *

DAD, CAN I TAKE THE CADILLAC?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

OUT.

ALL RIGHT, BUT DRIVE CAREFULLY.

THANKS.

NOT TOO LATE.

YEAH, MOM.

* AL BASURERO A LLEVARSE LO QUE NO SE REBANO *

HI. UH, HERE TO SEE TREY TRAVELSTEAD.

I THOUGHT THAT YOU SAID

THAT HIS FAMILY HAD MONEY.

THEY GOT A BUTLER, DON'T THEY?

LOOK AT THESE RUGS.

THEY COULDN'T GET WALL

OH, OH.

SQUEAKY FLOORS.

YOU KNOW, WITH WALL-TO-WALL,

YOU DON'T HAVE THIS KIND OF PROBLEM.

THESE ARE PIECE- OF-SHIT THROW RUGS.

AH, LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF CRAP.

LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF CRAP.

THIS--YOU KNOW, THIS HAS TO BE

80 YEARS OLD IF IT'S A DAY, YOU KNOW?

THEY CAN'T SPRING FOR A NEW ONE?

NO WONDER THEY HAVE MONEY. THEY MUST SAVE EVERY NICKEL.

WELL, THEY MUST LIKE THIS OLD STUFF.

IT--IT'S OLD, IT'S VERY OLD.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME THEY MADE A PURCHASE

WHUP. FROM BAD TO WORSE.

LOOK AT THIS.

LOOK AT THIS.

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW WHAT MY PARENTS JUST GOT?

A FORMICA TABLE.

DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN GET

ANYTHING ON THAT AND IT CLEANS RIGHT UP?

NICE HAIR.

YOU GUYS READY TO ROLL?

YEAH, YEAH.

I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

YEAH, OK.

BEN... YEAH?

YOU, UM, REALIZE

WE'RE THE ONLY WHITE PEOPLE HERE, RIGHT?

REALLY?

LOOK, THERE'S SYLVIA AND HER FRIEND.

SYLVIA!

DON'T DRAW ATTENTION.

HEY. HI.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

THIS IS GAIL.

HI, GAIL.

SHELDON.

* ROCK THIS JOINT *

* WE'RE GONNA ROCK THIS JOINT TONIGHT *

Trey: LET ME ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION.

WE JUST FINISHED READING DEATH OF A SALESMAN IN SCHOOL.

UH, IS THAT A PLAY ABOUT A JEWISH FAMILY OR NOT?

I DON'T KNOW.

ARTHUR MILLER WROTE IT, AND HE'S JEWISH.

I MEAN, WILLY LOMAN, SALESMAN.

EXCEPT THE BOYS' NAMES. WHAT IS IT

BIFF AND HAPPY.

THAT'S A CRAZY NAME. BIFF.

BIFF. YEAH, HE PROBABLY WANTED

TO AVOID THAT WHOLE JEWISH THING.

Van: WHAT THING? YOU KNOW...

WHAT

THEY'D SAY, "WHAT WAS THAT PLAY THAT WE SAW?

"THAT JEWISH PLAY THAT WE SAW. IT WAS GOOD.

ABOUT THE JEWISH FAMILY."

NOT A SALESMAN PLAY, A JEWISH SALESMAN PLAY.

Trey: HE PROBABLY WANTED TO MAKE IT MORE UNIVERSAL.

EXACTLY! I WILL GRANT YOU THIS,

THERE ARE VERY FEW JEWISH BALLPLAYERS.

TRUE. VERY, VERY TRUE.

YEAH. YOU'LL NEVER HEAR, "GROUND BALL TO SHORT.

"FLO ZIEGFIELD MOVES TO HIS RIGHT,

"SCOOPS IT TO LEONARD BERNSTEIN AT SECOND,

WHO FIRES TO FIRST. GEORGE GERSHWIN STRETCHES.

DOUBLE PLAY!" THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

Van: THIS IS, LIKE, A MUCH LARGER PARTY

THAN THAT HALLOWEEN THING.

Trey: OH, WE WERE JUST SLUMMING AT THAT ONE.

Yussel: THAT WAS SLUMMING?

LIKE, WHEN DO WE SLUM AGAIN?

THIS IS NICE.

JEEZ, THIS IS SOME FARM.

I BELIEVE IT'S A LAND GRANT FROM A KING.

GRANT? KINGS DON'T GRANT JEWS SHIT.

NOT NOW, OK? NOT NOW.

THAT'S, UH, MAGGIE RIDGLEY.

BYE. BYE.

OH, I'D POP HER.

Trey: THAT'S SALLY BRECKENRIDGE.

HER FATHER'S WITH DuPONT.

I'D POP HER, TOO. SHE WOULD SEE.

SHE WOULD KNOW.

YEAH, WELL, THE ONE IN THE WHITE HAT,

THAT'S ANNE WHITTIER.

THAT'S YOUR BEST BET.

OH, YEAH?

VERY EASY.

FABULOUS.

I DON'T SEE HER. I DON'T SEE THE LITTLE PRINCESS.

I'M GONNA GET SOMETHING TO DRINK.

HEY. WHAT IS IT?

DO ME A FAVOR--DON'T CALL ME YUSSEL TONIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU?

YATES. YATES.

WHOO. THE ROYAL SHOULD BE JUMPING TONIGHT.

SURE ENOUGH.

WAIT A MINUTE. THAT LOOKS LIKE KURTZMAN'S CAR.

HE GOT THAT NICE CADDY

AND HE WON'T GIVE UP THE CASH?

HE GOT YOU ON THE LAYAWAY PLAN.

DON'T MAKE ME MOODY, ALL RIGHT?

BELIEVE ME...

HE'D PAY THE WHITES OFF ON THE SPOT.

DAMN NICE COLOR, THOUGH, AIN'T IT?

MM-MMM-MMM.

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED HIM FOR THE CAR.

OH, HE OFFERED.

THREW ME THE KEYS AND EVERYTHING.

HELL, I SHOULD HAVE.

DAMN RIGHT.

LET ME FIND THAT SON OF A BITCH,

TAKE HIM UP ON THAT OFFER.

THE MAN TAKES ADVANTAGE.

YEAH, WELL, I'M FINNING TO TAKE THAT GODDAMN CAR.

HE GOT TO BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

WHAT THE HELL HE DOING DOWN HERE FOR ANYWAY?

I DON'T KNOW. WHITE BOY LIKE THAT

STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.

I'M PLEASED TO BE HERE AT THE ROYAL THEATER

IN BEAUTIFUL BALTIMORE, MARYLAND.

HOW YOU DOING?

HI.

ANY WHITES INSIDE?

SAW 2.

MMM, MMM. YOU MIND IF I TAKE A LOOK?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

GO AHEAD.

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU KINDLY.

STAY THERE.

I CAN'T GO IN THE SHOW?

NO.

YOU'RE LOOKING LOVELY THIS EVENING.

YOU LOOK LIKE A DOUBLE SCOOP OF CHOCOLATE,

AND I GOT A SWEET TOOTH.

AND YOU STILL CAN'T GO IN.

* WELL, MY BABY PUT ME IN THAT *

* OH, THAT THING, YEAH *

* EVERYBODY *

* WE ARE HAVING, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* YEAH, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* AND WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* A ROCK AND ROLL PARTY TONIGHT *

* WELL, I WENT DOWNTOWN TO SEE AUNT MAUDE *

* SHE WENT OUT WITHOUT HER CARD *

* HE GOT DRUNK, OH, FORGET IT *

* DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE HAD BEEN *

* WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* A ROCK AND ROLL PARTY TONIGHT *

* OHHH *

* I SAID JUMP, JUMP, JUMP *

* PARTY ON, JUMP *

* JUMP, JUMP, JUMP, PARTY ON, JUMP *

* HEY, JUMP, JUMP, JUMP, PARTY ON, JUMP *

* JUMP, JUMP, JUMP PARTY ON, JUMP *

* JUMP, JUMP, JUMP *

* ROCK AND ROLL PARTY TONIGHT *

* YEAH! AAAAAAH!

* WELL, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* YEAH, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* AAAAH, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* YEAH, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* WE'RE HAVING A PARTY *

* A ROCK AND ROLL PARTY TONIGHT *

YEAH, SO LET ME ASK YOU, UM, YATES.

IT'S A VERY UNUSUAL NAME.

IT IS, IT IS. IT'S SCANDINAVIAN, ACTUALLY.

MY MOM WAS BORN IN NORWAY,

AND MY FATHER WAS BORN IN DENMARK,

AND THEY MET IN SWEDEN.

SO IT SORT OF COVERS THE NORDIC SPECTRUM.

IT SURE DOES.

Trey: OH, THE SHIT JUST HIT THE FAN.

THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO PARIS TO SEE HER FATHER.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT SHE TOLD ME.

* BLUE MOON *

* YOU SAW ME... *

WISH ME LUCK.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.

* WITHOUT A DREAM IN MY HEART *

* WITHOUT A LOVE OF MY OWN *

SO THIS IS PARIS.

OUI, MONSIEUR.

JUST COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO GO.

YEAH, WELL, PARIS IS TOUGH.

PLEASE DON'T BE SNIDE.

IT'S MY FATHER.

I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH HIM RIGHT NOW.

WHO'S THAT GUY? HE LOOKS FAMILIAR.

I SAW HIM WHEN I CAME RIDING IN.

WELL, THINK HALLOWEEN.

HE'S CRAZY FOR YOU.

OH, THE NIGHT YOU STOOD ME UP

FOR MOST OF THE EVENING.

I FLIRTED WITH HIM FOR AMUSEMENT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU, UH, DID QUITE A JOB.

HE'S SALIVATING FOR YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

WELL, I BROUGHT HIM HERE.

DOES HE KNOW THAT WE GO TOGETHER?

DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK HIS HEART.

PLEASE, SPARE ME YOUR SENSITIVE SIDE.

WELL, GO SAY HELLO. I WON'T GET JEALOUS.

SCREW YOU.

* YOU SAW ME STANDING ALONE *

* WITHOUT A DREAM IN MY HEART *

* WITHOUT A LOVE OF MY OWN *

I DON'T GET IT. YOU LOVE HER

CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER? NEVER WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN?

YEAH, WELL, AIN'T IT ROMANTIC?

YOU'RE TOO MUCH.

SOME GUYS WOULD DIE FOR HER.

YEAH, I THINK I WILL.

* OOOOH-OOOH *

* OOOH-OOOH-OOOH *

HI. HELLO, STRANGER.

YOU REMEMBERED.

CERTAINLY. HOW COULD I FORGET?

WELL, UM...

COME ON, LET'S GET SOMETHING TO DRINK.

OK.

SO WHERE ARE YOU COMING ON A

IT'S UH, HEH HEH--

OH, MY GRANDFATHER HAS A HORSE FARM...

DID I SAY JAMES BROWN WAS MY COUSIN?

IS THAT RIGHT? UH-HUH.

THEN HE SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU A FREE TICKET.

JUST STAY RIGHT OUT HERE.

COUPLE OF WHITE KIDS.

ONE OF THEM PROBABLY KURTZMAN'S KID.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR THE CAR.

DON'T MAKE ME MOODY, ALL RIGHT?

HOLD ON, NOW.

WHAT IF I TAKE HIS KID?

HE GOT MY MONEY. I GOT HIS KID.

RIGHT ABOUT NOW I'D LIKE TO DO A SONG

THAT I HOPE TO RECORD REAL SOON.

HOPE TO MAKE IT MY VERY FIRST RECORD.

FELLAS, ARE YOU READY?

Group: YEAH!

BUILDING, IS YOU READY,

'CAUSE WE GONNA TEAR YOU DOWN.

* PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE *

* PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T GO *

* PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE *

* PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T GO *

* DARLING, PLEASE, DON'T... *

* DON'T *

* OH, YEAH, OHH, I LOVE YOU SO *

* PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T GO *

* BABY, YOU DID ME WRONG *

* BABE, YOU'VE DONE ME WRONG *

* OHH, WHOA, YOU DONE ME WRONG *

* GIRL, YOU'VE DONE ME WRONG *

* GIRL, YOU DONE DONE ME WRONG *

* OHHH * * OHH, OH, YEAH *

* MY LOVE, AND NOW YOU'RE GONE *

* PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T GO *

* PLEASE, PLEASE... *

* PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE *

* PLEASE, PLEASE *

I--I LOVE YOU!

WHOO, WHOO!

* PLEASE, PLEASE *

* DARLING, PLEASE, DON'T *

* OHH * * OHH, OH, YEAH *

* OHHH... *

I'M--I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT YOU AND TREY. I...

WHOO!

NO. TREY SHOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING TO YOU,

BUT THAT'S TREY FOR YOU.

HE REALLY SHOULD'VE, 'CAUSE...

IT REALLY WOULD'VE SAVED ME A LOT OF...

AGGRAVATION.

YOU KNOW, THAT NIGHT

WHEN I SAW YOU IN THE BASEMENT,

I WAS...

SO...

BOY, I JUST...

IT WASN'T A REAL MAGIC WAND.

GUESS NOT.

HOW ABOUT THAT, THAT JAMES?

UH-HUH!

LOOK, I CAN DO IT! COOL!

HA HA! UH-HUH, YEAH!

Little Melvin: TEACH HIM WHO HE DICKING WITH.

Scribbles: DAMN SKIPPY.

A MAN WIN BIG, AND HE CAN'T GET HIS, TOO.

AND IT AIN'T KIDNAPPING.

IT'S MORE TIT FOR TAT.

YOU DO NOTHING ON YOUR OWN.

YEAH.

THAT'S IT?

Sheldon: I'VE NEVER SEEN

ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE! WHOO!

OH, WAIT. CAREFUL.

I'M REALLY GLAD YOU LIKED IT.

IT WAS WORTH IT. WASN'T IT?

* PLEASE, PLEASE *

* PLEASE, PLEASE *

SYLVIA, WHERE YOU PARKED?

JUST THROUGH THE ALLEY. THERE'S A PARKING LOT.

WE'RE JUST UP HERE.

HOW ABOUT WE GO, UH...

YOU KNOW, GET SOMEONE TO BUY US A 6-PACK OF BEER

AND DRINK IT IN YOUR CAR OR SOMETHING?

WHAT, DRINK IT IN MY CAR?

YEAH. WE COULD JUST SORTA SIT IN THE CAR.

I HAVE A CURFEW. I CAN'T DO THAT.

JUST DRINK IT IN THE CAR. WE DON'T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE.

Gail: OH, PLEASE!

I DON'T THINK SO.

* PLEASE, PLEASE *

HOW Y'ALL DOING THIS EVENING?

WHICH ONE OF Y'ALL'S NATE KURTZMAN'S KID?

ME.

AH. THAT SO?

GET IN THE CAR.

Y'ALL TAKE A WALK.

NO.

YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE.

I--I'M--I'M NOT LEAVING HIM HERE.

YOU CAN EITHER GET IN THE CAR

OR GET OUT OF HERE.

I--I'M GETTING IN THE CAR.

THAT'S RIGHT.

EVERYBODY GET IN THE CAR.

Little Melvin: THEN WHAT, 3?

Ben: 304.

SHALOM. IS MR. KURTZMAN THERE?

OH, HE JUST LEFT.

UH, WELL, WHEN WILL HE BE BACK?

OH. GOT IT.

WENT DOWN TO THE GAIETY. SHOULD BE THERE SOON.

IF MY FATHER HAD THE MONEY,

HE'D GIVE IT TO YOU.

2 BLACK, 2 WHITE.

Y'ALL DATING?

NO.

WE HAPPENED TO MEET. BEN, SHELDON, AND I

GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL.

I GO TO DOUGLASS.

CAB CALLOWAY WENT TO DOUGLASS.

SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?

NO. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.

FRIENDS?

WHITE GUY, COLORED GIRL, FRIENDS?

I AIN'T NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING.

NEW TO ME, TOO.

YOU PLUGGING HER?

NO.

WELL, WHY NOT? SHE GOOD-LOOKING.

WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.

I AIN'T NEVER HAD A WHITE FRIEND

IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

NOW, I DONE WORK FOR WHITE...

AND I BEEN MESSED OVER BY WHITE...

BUT WE AIN'T NEVER BEEN FRIENDS.

AND I DON'T GET A CHANCE TO BE

IN THE BUSINESS WORLD LIKE YOU JEWS NEITHER.

JEWS ARE A MINORITY, TOO, YOU KNOW.

OH, THAT SO?

YEAH.

DID YOU KNOW

THAT THERE ARE LESS JEWS IN THE WORLD

THAN NEGROES?

YEAH?

BUT YOU AIN'T GOT THE SKIN THING.

SLAVES,

SLAVES.

JEWS WERE SLAVES.

BULLSHIT!

WHO BUILT THE PYRAMIDS?

HOW IN THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?

THE JEWS.

THE JEWS.

THE JEWS BUILT THE PYRAMIDS?

I--I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

PULLING THEM BIG STONE, JEWS?

IT'S TRUE.

WHEN WAS THAT?

3,500 YEARS AGO. SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

3,500 YEARS AGO?

DON'T YOU TELL ME NO SLAVE THING

HAPPENED 3,500 YEARS AGO.

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY GRANDDADDY WAS A SLAVE!

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, DINOSAURS ROAMED THE EARTH

AND STUFF WAS STILL COMING UP OUT OF THE DIRT!

WHAT?

NOW, DON'T--NO, NO,

DON'T YOU MAKE FUN OF MY SUFFERING NOW.

OH, COME ON!

VAN.

I'M, UH...

I'M GOING WITH DUBBIE. YOU KNOW YOUR WAY BACK?

YEAH. YEAH. WHAT YOU GONNA DO,

RIDE OFF ON THE HORSE?

NO. UH...

WE'RE GONNA STAY HERE TONIGHT WITH SOME FRIENDS.

WELL, THAT'S DEPRESSING.

LOOK, VAN, I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS.

I--I DIDN'T KNOW SHE'D BE HERE.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SPARK TO SOMEONE ELSE.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I DON'T--

MAYBE NEXT TIME, YOU KNOW.

I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER,

I'LL LET YOU KNOW ABOUT THE NEXT TO-DO.

THANKS. I'M SORRY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THANKS, TREY.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, PAL.

OH, HO HO!

LOOKS LIKE YUSSEL'S DOING FINE.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO DYE MY HAIR.

HA! MAYBE.

SEE YOU.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU SEE IT THAT WAY, MR. KURTZMAN.

YEAH, JUST A NEGOTIATION.

TIT FOR TAT.

[LOUIS ARMSTRONG SINGS ON STEREO]

WELL, IT'S NICE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, TOO.

NO, NO, NO.

I'LL CALL YOU BACK ABOUT THE MEETING PLACE.

ALL RIGHT.

SCRIBBLES, GO ON OVER THERE, UNTIE THAT ROPE,

LET THEM 3 KIDS OUT.

IT'S GONNA BE OVER IN A MINUTE.

HELLO, CHILDREN.

ALL 3 OF YOU OUT.

KURTZMAN, YOU STAY.

COME ON NOW. GET OUT, GIRL.

I'LL WAIT.

Scribbles: LET'S GO TAKE A RIDE IN THE PONTIAC.

HOW OLD ARE YOU, LITTLE GIRL?

Gail: HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?

OOH, THAT ONE'S A SASSY ONE.

AIN'T YOU LOYAL?

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN.

AIN'T NOTHING GONNA HAPPEN,

HIS FATHER PAYS.

YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT PLUGGING HER?

YEAH, I'M SURE.

YOU GOT TO FIND HER GOOD-LOOKING.

I DO.

TOUCH HER TITTY.

WHAT?

NO.

GO ON NOW. TOUCH HER TITTY, BOY.

NO.

THIS SAYS YES.

NO.

DON'T GIVE ME SHIT.

YOU TOUCH HER TITTY.

AIN'T LIKE IT'S A NAKED TITTY.

NO.

THINK ABOUT IT.

THERE'S NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT.

NO.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT YOUR MONEY,

I THINK YOU BETTER CALL AGAIN.

I WAS GETTING READY TO DO THAT.

I WAS JUST HAVING A MOMENT OF ENTERTAINMENT.

THANK YOU.

BUT I'M NOT SURE

IT WOULD'VE BEEN WORTH DYING FOR.

ANYTHING GOES WRONG, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.

DAMN IT, NATE, COME ON. HE'S NOT GONNA HURT HIM.

SH--I WAS STRAIGHT WITH THIS GUY.

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

IT'S NOT THE WAY THIS GUY OPERATES.

* YOU GOT TO KICK, HOLLER, AND SHOUT *

* I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT *

* YOU GOT TO JUMP REAL HIGH *

* YOU GOT TO KEEP THAT FEELING ALIVE *

* YOU GOT TO STOMP, WHISTLE, AND SCREAM *

* YOU GOT TO THINK ABOUT LOOKING REAL NEAT *

* TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME, TELL ME THAT YOU'RE MINE *

* OH, PUTTING ON THE DOG... *

IT'S YOURS.

CAN'T TAKE THIS.

YOUR CAR.

LITTLE KURTZMAN.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GIVE HIM

THE ENTIRE NUMBERS BUSINESS.

YOU COULD'VE GONE 50-50. OR KILL HIM.

YOU GOT TO LOVE THE GUINEAS.

COLORED GUY STEALS SOMETHING FROM THEM,

YA-BING! THEY FIND HIM DEAD

ON HIS OWN DOORSTEP 2 DAYS LATER.

A SUBTLE WARNING.

HEY, HE DIDN'T STEAL.

HE HIT THE NUMBER. HE WON IT FAIR AND SQUARE.

IT'S HIS MONEY.

AND YOU?

YOU, UH...

WANT TO EXPLAIN THIS?

SHE'S IN MY CLASS.

SHE WAS COMING OUT OF THE ROYAL

WHEN ALL THIS HAPPENED.

OH, YOU WENT TO THE ROYAL.

YEAH. WHY?

UH, JAMES BROWN.

HE'S--HE'S AMAZING.

IS THIS THAT ROCK AND ROLL?

IT'S GREAT MUSIC.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD

GET HER IN THE CAR.

SYLVIA?

THIS IS MY DAD.

HELLO.

ALL RIGHT.

FRIGHTENING NIGHT, HUH?

Sylvia: YEAH. SOMEWHAT.

NOW, DID YOU CALL YOUR PARENTS?

NO. THEY THINK I'M SLEEPING

UP AT GAIL'S HOUSE TONIGHT.

OH. THAT SAVES A COMPLICATED EXPLANATION.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I'D TELL MY FATHER...

HELLO.

DUBBIE. HEY.

TREY?

WELL, HOW SERIOUS?

OH. WHEN DID HE GO INTO SURGERY?

OK. YEAH. UH, 421 SPRINGDALE AVENUE.

IT'S RIGHT OFF LIBERTY HEIGHTS.

YEAH. OK.

A FRIEND OF MINE

WAS JUST IN A REALLY BAD CAR ACCIDENT.

HE'S IN VIRGINIA.

WHAT'S HE DOING THERE?

WELL, HE GOES TO WASHINGTON AND LEE.

WEALTHY GOYIM?

HIS FATHER WORKS FOR LAWRENCE AND WHEBBEE.

BIG LAW FIRM. VERY CONNECTED.

IS HE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW. UH...SHE SAID

THEY'RE WORRIED ABOUT HIM BEING PARALYZED.

EH! HOW TERRIBLE.

BY THE WAY, WHAT'S THE NAME DUBBIE?

I NEVER HEARD SUCH A NAME.

HEY.

HI.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

SURE.

I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS ALONE.

YOU KNOW, WE CAN TAKE TURNS DRIVING

IN CASE YOU GET TIRED.

Woman: PEOPLE, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.

I NEED TO SEE THE FOLLOWING STUDENTS:

ACKERMAN, BLUME,

D. COHEN, R. COHEN.

SO...WHERE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL?

SPELMAN.

SPELMAN.

UH-HUH.

A NEGRO SCHOOL?

YUP.

WHY YOU GOING THERE? I MEAN...

I MEAN YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE NOW.

JUST BECAUSE WE CAN DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO.

AND MY MOTHER WENT THERE,

HER MOTHER WENT THERE-- IT'S TRADITION.

OH. WELL, THERE'S NO SUCH THING

FOR SYLVAN AND I.

WE'RE THE FIRST ONES TO GO TO COLLEGE.

WHY?

OH, MY FAMILY COULDN'T AFFORD IT.

MY DAD WENT TO WORK WHEN HE WAS 14.

WOW.

DAMN.

TAKE A MULLIGAN.

HEAVY RUMORS ABOUT LITTLE MELVIN.

YEAH?

YEAH. SEEMS HE'S HAVING TROUBLE

RUNNING THE NUMBERS.

HOW SO?

CAN'T GET ORGANIZED.

HE'S RUNNING IT INTO THE GROUND.

SO GOLF'S NOT YOUR GAME.

I RAN INTO HIM OVER AT, UH...GLOBUS.

I WAS HAVING LUNCH.

COMES OVER TO MY TABLE.

I DON'T THINK IT WAS A COINCIDENCE.

BETTER.

PROBLEM HE'S GOT, HE CAN'T WORK

WITH THE WHITE NUMBERS RUNNERS,

AND THE WHITE SHOP OWNERS

CAN'T WORK WITH THE BLACK RUNNERS.

THINK WE CAN CUT A DEAL?

NAH. I THINK HE HAS NO CHOICE.

OH. THAT WAS MY PLAN ALL ALONG.

Van: SO YOU AND TREY FIGHT A LOT?

Dubbie: YUP. ALL THE TIME.

ABOUT WHAT? EVERYTHING.

SUCH AS?

WELL, HE THINKS I'M TOO POSSESSIVE,

I THINK HE DRINKS WAY TOO MUCH,

AND HE THINKS I'M TOO DEMANDING

CONCERNING SEX.

REALLY?

YEAH, REALLY.

I MEAN, I LOVE SEX,

BUT TREY SEEMS TO THINK

I GET A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL SOMETIMES.

OUT OF CONTROL...

HI. WE'D LIKE TO SEE TREY TRAVELSTEAD.

WE CAME DOWN FROM BALTIMORE.

TRAVELSTEAD IS ON THE...SECOND FLOOR.

ONLY ONE VISITOR AT A TIME.

THANKS.

I CAN GO UPSTAIRS, THOUGH, RIGHT?

HE'D LIKE TO SEE YOU.

Trey: I'M GLAD DUBBIE WAS ABLE TO GET A HOLD OF YOU.

HEY.

THANKS FOR COMING DOWN.

YEAH, SURE.

WHAT'S THE WORD?

UM...IT'S WORSE THAN IT LOOKS.

WILL YOU BE ABLE TO WALK?

OH, SURE.

MAYBE A LITTLE LIMP, BUT THAT COULD BE ROMANTIC.

YOU KNOW, MYSTERIOUS.

NEED WHATEVER I CAN TO ADD TO THE MYSTIQUE.

DUBBIE LOOKED A LITTLE DISTURBED.

YEAH. WELL...

YOU KNOW, IF YOU STILL GOT A THING FOR HER,

THIS COULD BE YOUR CHANCE.

IT ISN'T GONNA WORK OUT WITH THE TWO OF US.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS WHEN YOU GET BETTER.

IT'S OVER.

IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER.

THIS COULD BE YOUR CHANCE, VAN.

BUT SHE COMES WITH A WARNING.

WHAT?

YOU GOT TO READ THE FINE PRINT.

DANGEROUS. HANDLE WITH CARE.

Singer: * I'M DRIVING *

* SO CLOSE TO YOU *

* WITH LOVE *

* OH... *

Little Melvin: SO, GENTLEMEN...

WHERE DO WE BEGIN?

Nate: OK, HERE'S THE SHORTHAND:

YOU SCREWED UP THE BUSINESS,

IT'S FAILING, YOU NEED HELP. SPEAK.

I'M THINKING.

THINKING, MIND YOU.

I'M BRINGING YOU BACK INTO THE BUSINESS.

30% OF THE TAKE.

PASS.

30% IS BETTER THAN NOTHING.

IN A SHORT TIME,

YOUR 100% WON'T BE WORTH SHIT.

HOW'S THAT FOR ARITHMETIC?

40%.

I'M INSULTED.

50.

80.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

DONE.

COUPLE OF OTHER THINGS.

I DON'T WANT YOU COMING TO MY OFFICE.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU,

I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOUR DRINKS?

TOO MUCH WORK TO GET DONE.

Nate: LET'S GO, BOYS.

WE'RE BACK.

Louie: MUSIC TO MY EARS!

YES, SIREE!

* WITH LOVE *

* OH... *

SCRIBBLES,

WHAT I PAY YOU FOR, HUH?

I'M OVER HERE NEGOTIATING.

NEGOTIATING BUSINESS FOR YOU AND ME,

AND YOU SIT OVER THERE EATING PIE.

YOU SIT OVER THERE AND NEGOTIATE,

AND I SIT OVER HERE OUT YOUR WAY.

I MEAN, I'M SITTING--

YOU'RE SITTING OVER THERE ORDERING PIE

WHILE I'M LOSING THE BUSINESS!

AND I DON'T SEE AN OUNCE OF REMORSE.

DON'T MAKE ME MOODY, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

NOW GO AND SIT OUTSIDE.

Nat King Cole: * AH, CHERIE *

* MY LOVE FOR YOU IS TRES *

* TRES FORT *

* WISH MY FRENCH WERE GOOD ENOUGH *

YOU SPEAK FRENCH?

UM. NO.

DO YOU?

YES. NOT AS WELL

AS MY FATHER'S BOYFRIEND DOES,

BUT...THEN AGAIN, HE IS FRENCH.

THAT'S A SECRET.

WHAT, ARE YOUR PARENTS DIVORCED?

MM. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

THEY HAVE... AN UNDERSTANDING.

AH. BECAUSE OF RELIGION?

RELIGION?

NO, NO. NOTHING LIKE THAT.

IT'S JUST...MORE LIKE A CONVENIENT ARRANGEMENT.

WELL, YOUR MOM LIVES IN BALTIMORE.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING MORE PLEASANT.

YEAH. AHEM!

WHAT ABOUT TREY?

THAT WAS PLEASANT.

BUT ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END,

FORTUNATELY OR UNFORTUNATELY.

SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY, THOUGH, RIGHT?

THAT'S ONLY HALF OF IT.

ARE YOU TIRED?

OH, NO. I CAN DRIVE.

WE COULD STOP AT A MOTEL.

SURE.

YEAH, WE--WE COULD DO THAT.

AHEM! SURE.

Elvis Presley: * BLUE MOON *

* YOU SAW ME STANDING ALONE *

* WITHOUT A DREAM IN MY HEART *

OH, JESUS.

SORRY.

YOU'RE SURE ABOUT THIS?

* YOU KNEW JUST WHAT I WAS THERE FOR *

GOOD.

* YOU HEARD ME SAYING A PRAYER FOR *

* SOMEONE I REALLY COULD... *

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT ME?

OH. UH...

I, UH...

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET YOU OFF MY MIND

SINCE THE MOMENT I MET YOU.

HOW EXCITING.

UH-HUH.

FEEL LIKE I'VE, UH...

DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN.

* WITHOUT A LOVE OF MY OWN *

* BLUE MOON *

A TOAST.

* YOU SAW ME STANDING ALONE *

OK.

* WITHOUT A DREAM IN MY HEART *

OH.

* WITHOUT A LOVE OF... *

IT SEEMS TO BE ALL GONE.

FEAR NOT.

I HAVE BACKUP.

I HAVE IT AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

OH, WE CAN DO WITHOUT THAT RIGHT NOW,

DON'T YOU THINK?

WELL, I'M JUST SO DAMN HAPPY,

WE'VE GOT TO HAVE A DRINK.

WHOA. YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

OH, SH--HA HA!

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH?

IT REALLY WASN'T THAT FUNNY.

OH, GOD, HA HA!

YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M FINE.

OK. GEE.

ALL RIGHT, WAIT A MINUTE.

HEY, REMOVE YOUR HAND.

HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? HEY.

WHAT'S WRONG?

I'M FINE.

NO, NO, NO. WHAT'S WRONG?

MAKE LOVE TO ME.

WHAT? NO.

MAKE LOVE TO ME.

LISTEN, CALM DOWN, OK?

MAKE LOVE TO ME.

WHAT'S WRONG, DUBBIE?

I DON'T NEED THIS CRAP.

SCREW YOU!

WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

COME HERE.

I'M FINE.

EVERYTHING IS FINE.

DUBBIE, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

I DON'T NEED THIS CRAP.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND?

I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

I HAVE EVERYTHING!

EVERYTHING!

AND IT'S JUST WONDERFUL!

I'M HAPPY. I HAVE EVERYTHING.

HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?

OH, JESUS.

OH, JESUS.

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME SO FAR?

[TOM WAITS' IT'S OVER PLAYING]

* YOU MUST'VE BROUGHT THE BAD WEATHER WITH YOU *

* THE SKY'S THE COLOR OF LEAD *

* ALL YOU LEFT ME IS A FEATHER *

* ON AN UNMADE BED *

* IT'S ALWAYS ME WHENEVER THERE'S TROUBLE *

* THE WORLD DOES NOTHING BUT TURN *

* AND THE RING, IT FELL OFF MY FINGER *

* I GUESS I'LL NEVER LEARN *

* BUT IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER *

* I'M GETTING DRESSED IN THE DARK *

* OUR STORY ENDS BEFORE IT BEGINS *

* I ALWAYS CONFESS TO EVERYONE'S SINS *

Nate: LEWD AND LASCIVIOUS BEHAVIOR?

WHAT PART OF ANNIE'S ACT WAS LEWD?

WHICH PART WAS LASCIVIOUS?

NO BARE TIT, NO BUSH. DON'T GET IT.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT ANNIE'S ACT.

THIS IS ABOUT LITTLE MELVIN.

WHAT?

YOU RUN NUMBERS OK, THEY TURN THEIR BACKS.

BURLESQUE? IT'S AN INSTITUTION ON THE BLOCK.

FINE, BUT NOT SO FINE YOUR PARTNERSHIP

WITH A DRUG-DEALING SCHVARTZER.

HEY, I'VE GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH DRUGS, GODDAMN IT!

YOU'VE GOT A PARTNER THAT DEALS,

A DRUG-DEALING SPADE. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET RID OF HIM, KILL HIM?

NO, IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I CAN GET YOU OFF THIS CHARGE.

NOTHIN' TO IT.

BUT NOT THE FBI.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I GOT IT FROM A GOOD SOURCE.

THEY'RE GONNA CHARGE YOU WITH A VIOLATION OF THE MANN ACT.

WHAT? WHA--WHAT KIND OF A CRAZY CHARGE IS THAT?

WHAT IS THE MANN ACT?

TRANSPORTATION ACROSS STATE LINES

FOR THE PURPOSE TO COMMIT ILLEGAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY.

PROSTITUTION.

WHERE IN THE HELL DID THEY COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF SHIT?

HOW MANY GIRLS DO YOU BRING INTO THIS STATE FOR YOUR SHOWS?

WELL, WHO CAN COUNT?

ANY ONE OF THOSE GIRLS INVOLVED IN PROSTITUTION?

WELL, WHO IN THE HELL KNOWS?

COULD BE...GOD ONLY KNOWS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY DO.

THEY GET ONE OF THEM TO TESTIFY--ONE--

AND IT'S GOOD-BYE.

DO THEY?

THEY'VE OBVIOUSLY GOT SOMEONE.

OVER THE YEARS, IN MY BUSINESS,

YOU WATCH ENOUGH SHOWS, YOU LEARN.

A GOOD PERFORMER KNOWS WHEN TO GET OFF THE STAGE.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT, NATE?

I DON'T KNOW. I...I...

I DON'T KNOW YET.

Announcer: SYLVIA MARKS.

MIRIAM GOLDSTEIN.

BEN KURTZMAN.

Ada: ALL RIGHT, BOYS, STAND TOGETHER.

YOU LOOK LIKE A HOOD.

STAND UP, STAND TOGETHER.

COME ON, PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER.

LIKE YOU KNOW EACH OTHER.

WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU, SWEETHEART.

THANK YOU, DAD.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GET SOMETHING TO EAT?

HUH, WANNA GO OUT TO EAT?

SURE.

IT'S YOUR DAY. YOU PICK IT.

OH, DON'T MAKE ME DO THAT. HELP ME.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

WHY DON'T WE TAKE A DRIVE IN THE COUNTRY?

FIRST PLACE WE GET TO, WE'LL STOP.

THAT'S WHERE WE'LL EAT. WHAT DO YOU THINK, HONEY?

OK, SURE. WHATEVER. YOU GUYS WORK IT OUT.

I'LL--I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

SYLVIA, WHAT ARE YOU--

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

SYLVIA...

WAIT, WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

NO, I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE.

NO, IT'S OK. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

SPELMAN.

UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND.

WE'LL KEEP IN TOUCH.

YEAH.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN IF I GAVE YOU A KISS RIGHT NOW?

I THINK OUR PARENTS WOULD DIE.

YEAH...PROBABLY.

DEFINITELY.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, SYLVIA.

YOU, TOO, BEN.

OH, MY GOD.

SYLVIA.

NATE, TALK TO HIM.

WHAT WAS THAT?

I WAS SAYING GOOD-BYE TO MY FRIEND.

YOU SAY GOOD-BYE WITH A KISS?

YOU TALK TO HIM NOW!

I'LL TALK TO HIM.

DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?

WE DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A SCENE.

I'M NOT CAUSING A SCENE!

YOUR SON JUST CAUSED A SCENE!

I'M NOT TAKING ANY MORE PICTURES.

LET'S GO. LET'S GO!

I'M IN TROUBLE NOW?

NO, I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE!

Both: AAH!

Radio: IT'S 78 DEGREES IN DOWNTOWN BALTIMORE.

YOU'RE LISTENING TO WCBM, 680 ON YOUR RADIO DIAL.

THIS IS THE JEWISH HOUR.

IT'S GOOD TO GET A LITTLE SUN

ON THE LAST DAY BEFORE COLLEGE STARTS.

[CARL PERKINS SINGING HONEY, DON'T]

NOT BAD.

I HATE TO GIVE UP MY CANE.

THE SYMPATHY WORKS WONDERS WITH THE GIRLS.

YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?

YEAH.

COFFEE.

TALKED TO DUBBIE.

SHE'S TRANSFERRED TO BENNINGTON.

YEAH. SHE'S DOING ALL RIGHT?

SURE. YOU KNOW, SHE TOLD ME ABOUT THE MOTEL.

SHE DID?

OH, COME ON, SHE LOVES DRAMA.

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS WITH THE THOROUGHBREDS.

A LITTLE TOO HIGH-STRUNG.

TEND TO GET SPOOKED EASILY.

HOPE IT DOESN'T TURN YOU OFF TO THE BREED, BUDDY.

THAT WAS A CRAZY NIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU.

I BET.

DID YOU FIND ANYTHING OUT FROM YOUR FATHER?

YEAH, WELL, HERE'S THE STORY ON THAT.

I GOT AN UNCLE. HE WORKS UP AT JUSTICE,

AND...THEY'RE GONNA PROSECUTE YOUR FATHER

ON THE MANN ACT AND INCOME TAX EVASION.

THAT'S WHAT HE EXPECTED.

IT'S A HELL OF A THING. SORRY.

SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.

HE WASN'T PARTNERS WITH THIS COLORED GUY.

HE WOULDN'T BE INVOLVED WITH DRUGS.

THEY KNOW THAT.

THEY JUST LOVE TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE.

LOVE TO GO AFTER THE JEWS AND THE COLOREDS.

I'M SURE THEY STILL HAVE AN ADRENALINE RUSH

FROM THE ROSENBERG EXECUTIONS.

SO MY FATHER ASKED IF MAYBE YOUR FATHER COULD HELP OUT.

YEAH, YEAH...WHAT?

JUST TO SEE IF THERE'S A WAY

THAT THEY CAN NOT HAVE MY FATHER ARRESTED

UNTIL AFTER THE ROSH HASHANAH SERVICES.

AND AFTER HE SEES THE NEW CADILLAC.

WHAT, IS THAT PART OF THE RELIGIOUS SERVICE?

IT IS WITH HIM.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

Scribbles: THEM NEW SHOES?

Little Melvin: YEAH, THREW MY OLD ONES AWAY.

WHY?

THEY'S BAD LUCK. THAT'S WHY I GOT ARRESTED.

SO MY LAWYER'S SAYING I'LL GET ABOUT 6 TO 8 MONTHS

ON THIS DEAL HERE.

THAT'S IT?

YEAH. WHAT ABOUT KURTZMAN?

8 TO 10 YEARS...FEDERAL.

FED TIME?

MM-HMM.

MAN.

SINCE I'M GONNA BE GONE, SCRIBBLES,

YOU NEED TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER LINE OF WORK.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT.

I WANT TO BECOME AN ANNOUNCER

FOR THE BALTIMORE COLTS.

A COLORED ANNOUNCER?

MM-HMM! FIRST ONE OF HIS KIND.

I SIT AT HOME AND I PRACTICE IN THE MIRROR.

I GOT A COUPLE OF PLAYS. YOU WANT TO HEAR?

SURE.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY HERE AT BALTIMORE'S MEMORIAL STADIUM.

IT'S 76 DEGREES, BIRDS CHIRPING AND SUCH...

IT'S HOT.

WE'RE GONNA SIT AND WE'RE GONNA SWEAT.

INDIAN SUMMER.

WHERE'S DAD?

IN A MINUTE.

THEN HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU BOYS.

WHAT'S WRONG?

HE'LL TELL YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT'S WRONG?

HE'S ABOUT TO BE ARRESTED,

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

I KNOW THAT. I THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE.

WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?

Nate: I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TO TELL YOU.

YOU WON'T SEE ME FOR A WHILE,

BUT EVERYTHING HAS BEEN TAKEN CARE OF.

THERE'S MONEY FOR YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATIONS.

EVERYTHING IS PROVIDED.

Nate: I EXPECT YOU BOTH TO GET YOUR DIPLOMAS,

TO BE RESPONSIBLE,

TO GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY.

I'LL MISS YOU.

IT WON'T BE TOO LONG.

WE'RE A FAMILY, AND NOTHING CAN INTERFERE WITH THAT.

I'M PROUD OF YOU BOYS.

MY BOYS.

Rose: IT'S TIME, NATE.

IT'S TIME FOR SERVICES.

Ben: LIFE IS MADE UP OF A FEW BIG MOMENTS

AND A LOT OF LITTLE ONES.

I STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I KISSED SYLVIA

OR THE LAST TIME I HUGGED MY FATHER BEFORE HE DIED.

AND I STILL REMEMBER THAT WHITE BREAD SANDWICH

AND THAT BLONDE DANCING GIRL

WITH THE CIGARETTE PACK ON HER THIGH.

BUT A LOT OF IMAGES FADE.

AND NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY,

I CAN'T GET THEM BACK.

I HAD A RELATIVE WHO ONCE SAID

THAT "IF I KNEW THINGS WOULD NO LONGER BE,

I WOULD HAVE TRIED TO REMEMBER BETTER."

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

* HAD I BEEN THE TOAST OF PARIS *

* HAD I SAILED DOWN THE NILE *

* ALL THE WONDERS I COULD SEE *

* COULD FULFILL MOST ANY DREAM *

* AND HOLD YOU FOR A WHILE *

* BUT WHEN LOVE WALKED IN *

* YOU COULD PICK IT UP A LITTLE *

* THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO *

* ONLY TO TRY AND KEEP MY HEAD *

* THERE BECAUSE AND LET YOU KNOW *

* I KNEW THE MOMENT THAT YOUR LOVE WALKED IN *

Bill Haley: * WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN *

* I WANNA GET A TASTE OF YOUR SWEET LIPS *

* SO DIM DIM THE LIGHTS *

* DIM DIM THE LIGHTS *

* DIM DIM THE LIGHTS *

Brenda Russell: * YOUR MIND *

* I'D HAVE TO SAY IT'S KIND OF WONDERFUL *

* AND YOU'VE GOT THOSE BABY EYES *

* WHAT A DREAM, YOU AND YOUR PALE BLUE EYES *

* I'M FALLING LOWER AND LOWER AND LOWER *

* INTO THIS DESTINY OF LOVE *