Original subtitles

SN ♪

♪ One, two, three, four ♪

♪ La la la la, la la la la ♪

♪

♪ La la la la ♪

♪

You're going to the doctor

for a checkup, and that's that!

I ain't goin'!

I don't need some snake-oil salesman

rubbing cream on me and giving me funny pills!

No, Ma, that's not what doctors are like today.

They're nice! You'll even get a lollypop. It's fun!

And that's when they stick you with the leeches!

No sirree, there'll be no doctors today!

Not over my healthy body!

--But, Gramma, if you're so healthy,

why do you groan when you stand up?

I ain't groaning, I'm growling!

--Well, off to the doctor's!

Oh, right, my two kids!

Can't leave 'em at home alone.

I guess I gotta call a sitter.

Aw, Dad, you don't need a sitter.

We can be our own babysitter!

You can trust us. Ooh, aah.

Forgot I had a bunch of rusty nails in my pocket.

- Uh, Tilly. -Yes, Papa?

Watch Cricket and make sure nothing bad happens.

I need you to be the big sister today.

I'm counting on you, honey.

--What? Aw!

Of course you'd pick Tilly.

Always doing what she's told, meh meh meh.

You will not be disappointed, Papa.

I promise I'll be the best babysitter there ever was!

I can't imagine you letting me down.

--All right, be good.

Please be good. Just please.

Bye, Papa! Don't you worry about nothin'.

Hello, sister.

Hello, Cricket.

Are you ready to have a nice quiet time?

I am not!

With Dad and Gramma out of the house,

it's the perfect time for me to scratch

a few items off my bucket list!

Bucket list? I guess it's never too soon

to start preparing for your passing.

What? No, Tilly, that's dark.

It's a list of everything you can do in or with a bucket.

Bucket skateboarding. Bucket boxing.

Bucket fireworks explosion extravaganza?

I don't know about this, Cricket.

I wouldn't want to break Papa's trust.

Cricket?

Don't you think this list is a bit reckless?

Of course it's reckless!

Why do you think we're doing it now?

If Dad were here, he'd never let us play

something like bucket-head bowling!

Uh, this seems like the opposite of what Papa--

This does not bode well for my babysitting career.

Whee!

Cricket! I must respectfully request that you stop!

--Cricket!

Can't hear ya 'cause I'm not listening!

Aah! Wah!

Whoa.

Cricket, I am putting my foot down.

You gotta listen to me!

If stuff's all messed up when Papa gets back,

he won't see me as the responsible young woman I am!

Wait, where'd you go?

Can't hear ya!

Doing number 14 on the list.

- Wah!

Oh, Cricket! I gotta get him to listen to me.

What should I do, Saxon?

If I can't get a handle on Cricket,

I'm gonna let Papa down. He'll never trust me again!

I'll get...

the disappointed face.

Yeah, that's the one.

Oh, it's uncanny.

But how do I get Cricket to listen?

- Scare him! -Scare him? Explain.

Remember when the cat

got himself stuck in the dishwasher?

He sure learned his lesson!

Nothing scares Dirtbag more than a dirty dish.

I see. I gotta make him scared of his bucket list.

Bucket windmill ride, all right!

Aw. Come on, you dang wind.

Propel me to fun!

Ah, I'm tired.

All right, Miss Brenda,

we're gonna give Cricket a little spook,

just enough to get him to listen.

Forgive me.

I think I feel a breeze start-- aah!

See, Cricket, if you'd have listened to me,

you would not be spinning in terror!

Cricket!

Oh, Cricket! Oh, my gosh!

Talk to me, Cricket! Are you okay?

Eh, I'm okay. I'm all right.

Mm! I'm fine!

Huh? Oh, that's funny.

I meant to raise both my arms.

Aah!

Your arm!

I know earlier I said I was fine,

but I think I am very much not fine!

I'm so sorry, Cricket.

No. I'm the one who's sorry.

I should've listened to you.

You were right all along.

You were so right, it's almost like... you knew.

--You knew that I need help!

Listenin' is not my strong suit,

so from now on I'm gonna listen to whatever you say!

It don't matter.

When Papa finds out you're hurt,

I'm gonna be in so much trouble!

No. I'll be in trouble.

I'll tell Dad that this was not your fault.

Yeah? I mean, no.

I'm gonna get us both out of this mess...

regardless of whose fault it is.

I don't deserve you.

Eh... um...

There! That's about as good as a doctor could do.

Papa will never know.

Wow! Pretty sturdy for a mud cast.

I think everything's gonna be A-okay!

Okay, this isn't working.

Maybe we need to take you to a real doctor.

But that's where Dad and Gramma are!

I'll get in trouble for sure.

Hmm... No!

We won't get in trouble if they can't recognize us.

I've never seen anything like this before.

For a woman of your age, why, you're as fit as a fiddle!

What? I mean, that's good news, I guess.

Hah! Told you I was healthy.

Truly remarkable! Do you mind if I--

--Amazing.

What's your secret?

My secret's minding my own business!

Fair enough! I'm not worried about you at all!

However, you, sir...

- Me? -Yes, you!

I'm much more worried about you.

Signs of little sleep,

overworked, clearly stressed.

I'm afraid we're going to have to run some tests right away.

Ha-ha!

Eh, are you sure this'll work?

I thought you said you'd listen to me.

Now, stick to the plan!

There's a 45-minute wait.

This brave soldier will be dead in 45 minutes!

His wounds need attention now!

- What happened? -Uh...

- He's real hurt. See?

We're losing him!

Oh, my. Right this way, please.

How's your zinc intake?

I... five zincs a day?

Don't lie to me.

Eh, no! Cricket, move!

- Aah! -Huh?

Hmm.

Thank you for your service.

Eyesight deteriorating.

The doctor will see you now!

Wow. You just keep doing favor after favor for me.

Right this way, please.

I'll never forget this day!

Cheese!

When's the camera flash?

Yup, that's definitely a dislocated shoulder.

Oh, no! That sounds serious!

Aw, relax, it's no big deal.

We just need to pop your shoulder back into place,

and you'll be just fine.

Hear that, Tilly? I'm gonna be A-okay!

Oh, thank goodness!

So he's not gonna die!

He must've taken a pretty hard hit.

-What happened? -Huh?

Well, I guess I can tell you,

but this is one of those doctor-patient confidentiality type things.

So, I was supposed to look after Cricket,

but he kept doing crazy stuff.

So I had to scare him a little bit,

but instead he got hurt and it's all my fault,

and I'm so overwhelmed that I might fall asleep.

What? Wake up!

Oh! Wow, it makes me feel so much better

to get that off my chest.

-What? -Cricket?

- -No! No, no, no!

You weren't supposed to hear that!

I thought you were looking after me,

but you were only looking after yourself!

Shame on you!

Oh, that hurt real bad,

but it was worth it to make a point!

Hey! You need to give that arm some rest.

- Don't you want it to heal? -Are you kidding me?

This here's my evidence!

-Dad! -Cricket, no!

- Get back here! -Dad! Dad! Dad!

You'll never guess what Tilly did!

No, Papa, don't listen to him!

Huh?

- Dad? -Does my eye look funny?

Uh, not Dad.

Dad?

Uh, we're on our lunch break!

Not Dad.

Dad?

Hello. Whoopsie!

Not Dad.

Dad! Dad!

There you are!

Dad! Tilly broke me! Tilly broke me!

- Cricket!!! -Aah!

Haven't you hurt me enough?

Cricket, no!

Just wait till Dad hears about this!

Huh?

Fixed? Aw.

Dad will never believe me without proof.

You mean you're not gonna tell Papa?

Tell him what, that perfect little Tilly

turned my arm into a noodle and conspired to hide it?

Yeah, right. No way he'll believe me now.

Congratulations, sister, your reputation is safe.

Papa, I gotta tell you something.

Cricket got hurt, and it's all my fault.

I wanted to impress you so badly

that I put my brother in danger,

and nothing's worth that.

I'm no babysitter.

I'm a baby-breaker,

so give me the sterndest, harshest,

most disappointed face you got,

'cause I deserve it!

Papa?

Papa, oh, my gosh! He's dead!

The truth killed him!

Oh, no, he's not dead.

He just passed out at the first sight of a needle.

He let out quite the scream.

What did he say?

"Mummy, mummy, save me.

I'm a big baby." Hmm.

Well, any-hoonahs,

I need you in Room Four stat.

One word-- hemorrhoids.

Whew! That was close.

Tilly, I can't believe you were gonna take

the blame for both of us.

I gotta say, you ain't a great babysitter...

- Aw... -But you're a great sister.

Aw!

Well, at least you got a lollypop.

They were out of lollypops!

My, you big baby.

Dad and Gramma! How are we gonna beat 'em home?

--Huh?

Miss Brenda!

Hmm. Wanna check one more thing off your bucket list?

- Whoo! Yeah!

Bi Hey, Dad, I got the tool you wanted!

Uh, thanks, Cricket.

Now, pay attention, kids.

Water heaters can be tricky things.

Of course, this thing is hot, so you gotta be real--

Speak up, Dad! I can't hear ya!

--Aah!

Oh!

Oh, my gosh, Dad!

Don't worry, Cricket. I'm fine!

Nah, I was talking about this.

Dad, is this you?

Yup.

I did gymnastics as a kid.

They used to call me Backflip Bill.

Boy, that sure was fun.

"Bill's Power Ballad Mix"?

This'll spice up my morning routine!

This stuff is great!

How come you keep it all hidden down here?

Well, I was really looking forward to my first big competition,

but I ended up not competing.

That is so sad.

What happened?

It's not important.

That's stuff's all in the past.

It was just a silly childhood dream.

But I'll always wonder what would've happened

if I'd gone through with it.

Maybe I could've placed,

or even won.

Ah! I've moved on.

Doesn't sound like he's moved on to me.

Papa, if you don't follow your dreams,

regrets follow you.

I read that somewhere.

Look, kids, I don't want to say any more about it.

I'll say more about it!

I tried to coach that boy.

We trained for hours on end,

but he just couldn't hack it as a gymnast!

Well, I guess that's true.

See? He can't even hack it in this argument!

♪ Doo-doo doo-doo ♪

- Naysayer! -Huh?

Naysayer! Naysayer! Naysayer!

You must've not been a very good coach.

Dad obviously loves the sport.

He's brimming with passion.

Anyone could coach such a willing athlete.

You're just a big old naysayer.

You can believe what you want,

but your dad is uncoachable!

Oh, yeah? I'll coach him and prove you wrong.

You'll see! My dad's gonna be a kick-butt gymnast!

You ready, Dad?

Uh, I'm not sure about this, Cricket.

Come on, Dad.

It's time to get gym-nasty.

Maybe we should just go home.

Well, do you or don't you want to achieve your childhood dream?

All right, all right.

Hey, hey, can you believe this thing still fits?

And they say miracles don't happen anymore.

Yep, I still got it.

I'm just gonna take a moment to erase that from my memory.

Done.

Well, would you look at this!

I can't believe I'm getting back on the old horse--

pommel horse, that is!

Enough with the gym jokes!

Let's see what you've got!

Here's Bill Green

stepping up to the line,

ready to relive his childhood dream.

Can he do it?

Are you-- you talking to me?

I'm talking to everyone.

Ah! Whoa! Oh! Oh...

Ouchy-wawa.

Dad, are you okay?

This was a bad idea.

Maybe your gramma's right.

No, she's not!

You're just a little rusty.

That's natural.

Don't even think about Gramma.

This is about you and your childhood dream.

Just relax and have fun.

Ah! Thanks, son.

Just have fun.

Hey!

I'm really doing it!

That's fantastic!

What a rush!

It's all coming back to me!

Wow, holy cow!

In my whole life,

I never seen a guy move like that.

It's impressive, inspiring!

Mira, you gotta sign him up

for this afternoon's gymnastics competition.

A gymnastics competition? Did you hear that, Dad?

It must be destiny!

I mean, what are the chances?

Actually, we do this every week!

Hah! Could you hush up?

Aw, what the heck. Sounds like fun!

I can't believe what I'm seeing here today.

This could be the start of a comeback

for old Backflip Bill.

Uh, I have to go.

That's okay. We've gotta cut to commercial anyways.

If you're selling, I ain't buying!

Remember how you said Dad was uncoachable?

Is that you, boy?

Well, you're wrong!

So come on down to the rec center

and see how wrong you are!

- All right!

Got her good.

Wow, the competition's pretty good. Uh...

Could-- could someone help me?

Aah! Oof!

If I'm gonna prove Gramma wrong,

I've gotta take my coaching up a notch.

No more Mr. Nice Cricket.

Whoo-whee! Rings are hard!

Come on, Dad, you can do better than that!

I'll sure try. Thanks, son!

Out of my way!

I need a front-row seat!

Hey, Cricket, look over here!

- Stick the landing! -Wha? Uhh! Oh!

Ha! Almost had it!

- Huh!

Hey, what are you doing sitting around? Get back to it!

You got it, Coach!

Awfully pleased for someone with such sloppy form!

Huh? What? Uhh!

Oops, silly me!

Come on, Dad, focus!

Do it again!

Uh...

Is that all you got?!

Hey, son, do you think we could ease up a bit?

No way. I won't settle for anything less than first place!

First place? I thought we were just here to have fun.

Fun?! Sure, we'll have lots of fun,

if you think it's fun to lose!

...fun to lose!

Stop it, Ma!

- Huh? -What? Ma?

Oh!

Wait, come back, Dad!

Where you going?

He quit! I knew this would happen.

I told you he couldn't hack it.

I was right, you were wrong.

That'll teach you to doubt your gramma.

I don't understand.

I coached Dad as hard as I could.

It's not like I gave up on him like you did.

Gave up on him? Is that what you think I did?

On the contrary...

I believed in Bill, just like you.

I coached him day and night

to try and turn him into a winner.

With his potential and my lung capacity,

he could've won it all,

but how did he repay me?

By quitting right before his first big meet.

I'm just gonna go out there and have some fun!

Sure. You'll have lots of fun, Billy Boy,

if you think it's fun to lose!

Stop it, Ma!

Hmm.

So, you see? He's a quitter.

Simple as that.

Oh, no. What've I done?

Attention, everyone.

The gymnastics competition will be starting

with the floor routine in five minutes.

Excuse me, are you supposed to be here?

That depends. Are you supposed

to be standing around lollygagging?

Dad! Dad, where are you?

Stupid... thing!

Come off!

Uh, hey, Dad.

Oh. Oh, uh, hey, son.

Can we talk for a second?

Listen, big guy, sorry about all the yelling and screaming.

In trying to prove Gramma wrong,

I ended up making the same mistake she did.

Just face it, Cricket,

I was never cut out to be a gymnast.

That's not true.

You were oppressed by coaches

who sucked the fun out of your dream.

I was a bad coach, so from now on,

I'm not your coach.

I'm your cheerleader!

And the only thing I'm cheering for

is for you to have fun out there.

Well, that means a lot to me, Cricket.

I... I think I'll give it another shot!

-- And next up is...

Bill Green!

Bill Green!

Ah! Oh, my gosh! Ah!

There's a lot riding on this for old Backflip Bill.

All he's got is a heart full of hope...

and cholesterol.

That's so moving, Tilly!

You're really good at this.

Keep it professional, Juan Pablo.

Go, Dad, go!

Go, Dad! Go, Dad!

He's my dad. He's my dad.

- He's my dad. -Hmph!

He's big. I love him...

♪

Whoa.

Whoa!

Bill sticks the landing!

Yeah, Dad!

It all comes down to this last flip.

If he nails it,

he'll have the highest score in the competition!

Wow!

- Magnificent! -Oh, my stars!

- Unh!

Aw.

Yeah!

That's my Billy Boy!

- Whoo! -Yeah, Dad, all right!

I believe in you. Whoo!

I'm sure we're all thinking the same thing, folks.

Is there even an award high enough to award

such a stunning performance?

Wow, sixth place!

I'm real proud of you for finally following through on your dream, Dad,

even if you didn't win the gold.

Nah, tungsten is

a much more practical metal than gold, anyway.

Without it, we wouldn't have light bulb filaments.

And then we wouldn't be able to think of ideas.

Eh... right.

Anyway, now that I've

finally lived out my gymnastics dreams,

I may need to retire.

My body is destroyed!

Ow!

Hmm?

Good job out there, son!

--You finally done me proud.

Aw, gee, thanks, Ma.

Uh, what part did you like best?

Stop fishing for compliments!

Hmm. Come on, big guy.

Let's go get you a milkshake.

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪Bi

♪ Lost a bet and got bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters at seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow, I'll do it all again ♪