Original subtitles

[announcer] The Adventures of Batman with Robin, Boy Wonder.

Batman and Robin, Dynamic Duo against crime and corruption,

whose real identities as millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne

and his young ward, Dick Grayson,

are known only to Alfred, the faithful butler.

Ever alert, they respond swiftly to a signal from the police.

And moments later, from the secret Batcave deep beneath Wayne Manor,

they roar out to protect life, limb and property

as Batman and Robin, caped crime fighters.

Batman and Robin, scourge of Gotham City's kooky criminals:

The Joker, Clown Prince of Crime.

The Penguin, pudgy purveyor of perfidy.

And the cool, cruel Mr. Freeze.

Watch out, villains, here come Batman and Robin.

[narrator] At the Gotham international air terminal,

the Dynamic Duo escort an armored truck to a security building

where 4 million Turkish coins are deposited

prior to shipment back to Turkey.

[Batman] Safely inside. We can leave now.

[narrator] Inside, a secretary signs a receipt for the Turkish piastres.

But wait, don't we know this young lady?

Of course. She's none other than Simon's beautiful accomplice.

[in Russian accent] Charlotte Russe. The shipment arrived.

Simon and I have the combination to the vault. Hurry.

[narrator] Elsewhere in Gotham City,

Mother Goose's Pastry Park for kiddies is preparing for its opening day.

And Police Commissioner Gordon's daughter, librarian Barbara Gordon,

at the request of the mayor, checks authenticity of the exhibits.

[Barbara] Delightful, Mother Goose. What's that?

[Mother Goose] Our refreshment stand.

The Pat-A-Cake Baker's House.

Come, I'll show you the kitchen.

[Barbara] Oh, no. Mother Goose, those pastry chefs are criminals.

You don't say?

Yes. They work for—

Simon the Pieman!

[in normal voice] Simon says, "Tie her up."

Commissioner Gordon won't come near us while we're holding his daughter.

Cookie, Simon says, "You stay here and guard her

while we perform Operation Turkish Delight."

Come, let's go.

Come back, you crumb-bums.

I didn't say, "Simon says."

Now Simon says, "To the bakery truck."

[Cookie] Hey, what—?

[narrator] A clever move.

And Barbara Gordon is free to assume her secret identity

as the courageous female counterpart of the Dynamic Duo…

Batgirl.

Simon says, "Shoot the whipped cream."

[Batcycle crashes]

[Simon] Simon says, "Put her in the truck. Hurry."

Yes, commissioner?

She should have been back hours ago. I'm terribly concerned.

The Mother Goose Pastry Park, eh? We'll check it out, commissioner.

- Barbara Gordon is missing? - Right, Dick. To the Batmobile.

[narrator] Meanwhile, at the airport, the Pieman collects the dough

and makes a clean getaway with 4 million piastres.

[Simon] Simon says, "Lock her up in the castle tower."

[as Mother Goose] I assure you, Batman and Robin,

Miss Gordon left this park hours ago.

- I see. Thank you, Mother Goose. - Let's go, Bat—

As long as you're here,

would you be kind enough to pose for an advertising photo?

- The kiddies will love it. - [Batman] Certainly.

[Simon] If you'll stand in front of those wax figures, I'll snap the picture.

- Watch it, Robin. Simon's men. - I dig.

[Simon] Watch the birdie.

One, two, three.

[all grunting]

[Batman] So you wanna play pat-a-cake, eh, baker man?

How's that for upside-down cake, pie face?

Holy switcheroo, she's the Pieman.

[Batgirl] Batman, Robin, help!

[Batman] It's Batgirl.

[moos]

[Batman] Now, aim it at the castle window.

Careful, Batgirl, they are sharks in the moat.

[in normal voice] Simon says, "Attack."

Here comes the baker's dozen.

[all shouting indistinctly]

[gasps]

Robin needs help.

Try a little slow-motion potion. Ha!

Get them into the castle.

[man] If those dynamite fuses touch the candle flames,

Robin will be eating angel's food cake.

[Simon laughs]

Robin be nimble, Robin be quick

Robin jump over the candlestick

Simon says, "Think fast, Batman."

A bell tower? But why—?

Uh-oh. Floor's moving.

Peas porridge cold Peas porridge hot

You'll never grow old Once you drop in the pot

[Batman] A trap.

Whew. Almost in the soup that time. Now what?

Ha, ha! Brownie, Simon says:

"Show Batman a swinging time."

Can't stand this much longer.

Can't be a wallflower forever. Here goes.

Batgirl's running for help.

Simon says, "Give me an apple turnover."

[bell tolling]

Simon says, "Put her in Peter's pumpkin shell."

And there we'll keep her very well.

"Well." A brilliant suggestion.

We'll throw the pumpkin down the well

on the Jack and Jill hill.

[Batman] Those perfidious pie-rats.

If only I could—

[narrator] If only you could help her, Batman, but you can't.

Nor can you help the Boy Wonder, who is tiring fast.

Who is there now to save the courageous crime crusaders?

Can it be that the Dynamic Duo will finally be done in?

Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of this Bat-tale coming up next.

[narrator] Sealed in a pumpkin shell,

Batgirl is being carried up the hill by the Pieman's pie-thons.

Meanwhile, in the King Cole Castle, Robin is bobbing over lighted candles

to keep the dynamite sticks from touching the flames.

And Batman, the only person who can save them,

is clinging to a bell clapper

to keep from falling into a pot of peas porridge hot.

The bell rope.

- Batman coming down. - Now to find Robin.

Batman, where were you?

[Batman] Oh, just hanging around.

Let's go. Batgirl's in trouble.

Simon says, "Drop it down the well."

Look, Simon, they escaped.

Grab that pumpkin.

Simon says—

Oh, no. Too late.

- Batgirl's in there. - [Robin] It's heading toward the moat.

- [Batman] Grab it. - Got it.

Thanks for a happy Halloween.

- Look. - [Batman] The roof of the Pat-A-Cake House.

[Robin] Holy pie in the sky, it's a flying saucer.

We're going to the Batcave.

The Bat-computer will tell us the next move Simon's likely to make.

Meanwhile, you stay out of trouble.

Hmm. I wonder if I can keep that in sight until it comes down.

It's worth a try.

Just in time, Batman, sir. It's urgent.

Thank you, Alfred. What is it, commissioner?

[Gordon over phone] Four million piastres stolen at the airport.

An inside job.

Must be Simon's work. You heard from your daughter?

No, Batman. Did you question Mother Goose?

Mother Goose, commissioner, is a crooked man who walks a crooked mile.

Good grief. Then Barbara—

Don't worry, sir. We'll find her.

[narrator] Meanwhile, Simon's sky-pie heads toward distant Nessel Cove.

That silly Batgirl, she's following us.

[Charlotte] I'll tell Strudel to change course.

[Simon] No. We will land at the powerhouse as planned

as soon as we get the signal,

then set a trap for her.

Simon says, "Everybody into the powerhouse."

Wait, you fools. You left the piastres in the sky-pie.

Sorry, boss, we forgot.

[Batgirl] "Piezoelectric Company." Must be Simon's base of operations.

I'll climb the rear wall with my Batcups and enter from the roof.

[Simon] By gingersnap, isn't she clever?

Hoo. Looks like a crawly bug to me.

Strudel, Cookie, Simon says, "Go up and get her."

- There she is. - Oops. Company.

My Bat-compact.

My Bat-compact on the lens, and presto, a Bat-signal.

Look, the Bat-signal coming from Nessel Cove.

[Batman] Full speed ahead.

[Simon] Very ingenious, Batgirl.

Simon! Um, nice roof you have here.

Brilliant way to lure your friends into my trap. Thank you.

Take her away, boys.

Wait. He didn't say, "Simon says."

She's right. Simon says, "Take her downstairs."

Batman, look, the Batcycle.

[Batman] Hmm. Obviously Batgirl sent up that sky signal.

Must be in trouble.

Holy piecrust, there's Simon's flying pie on the water.

- It's also a boat. - Yes, and it's moving out to sea,

probably with Batgirl aboard. Lower the cable.

- Follow me and have your Bat-mask ready. - Check.

They're both in the pie.

[Simon] Good. Now Simon will lock them in.

Now Simon sends the pie underwater like a submarine.

And now full speed toward the barrier reef.

Alone in the pie, the trapped Bat-rats

will be the only victims of an underwater crash.

[Robin] No one else aboard, Batman. And we're sealed in.

[Batman] And heading toward a reef.

Find the torpedo room, Robin. I'll contact Alfred on the Batcommunicator.

[machine beeping]

Piezoelectricity is created

by a tremendous pressure on our crystal, Batgirl.

So this will be quite shocking. Ha, ha!

[Batman] Yes, Alfred. Where are you?

[Alfred over radio] In the Batboat, sir, directly above you.

[Batman] Good man. Quick, Robin, into the torpedo tube.

[Charlotte] This will solve your weight problem, my dear.

In two seconds, you will be—

[beeping stops]

- What happened? - Why did it stop?

[Charlotte] Look.

Your slow-motion potion won't work this time, Simon.

Let's show them some fast motion, Batman.

Simon says, "Attack."

Simon says, "Down the pole."

- [Batman] You all right? - A bit shaky.

I've been under a great deal of pressure.

[Simon] That electric cable, our escape.

No, Simon, it is full of electricity.

Wrong. Our friend Batman pulled the plug. Watch.

Holy cable cars, they're getting away.

Now they're due for a shock.

They would have to fall near a speedboat.

- Let's go after them in the Batcopter. - No need.

Simple Simon has forgotten about his underwater pie. Watch.

[Gordon] Tell me, Simon, where are those stolen Turkish piastres?

- No. - [Batman] Over here, commissioner.

[Gordon] He stuck in his thumb And pulled out a plum

By the way, have you heard from your daughter?

Yes. She phoned me to say she left the kiddie park to attend a flower show.

I wish she'd get interested in some physical sports.

She is so inactive.

[narrator] It's the joyous annual Gotham City Christmas Parade,

as children from 6 to 60 enjoy the fabulous floats,

including the famed Batmobile and its equally famed occupants,

Batman and Robin.

And, of course, the star of the show…

jolly Santa Claus.

Ho-ho-ho.

[narrator] But wait, is this really Santa Claus?

[Icy] We're all set, Mr. Freeze.

Excellent, Icy.

We are about to pull the most magnificent caper of my cool career.

Ho-ho-ho.

[narrator] Now, at City Hall Plaza,

the commissioner is about to light the big Christmas tree.

Look at that priceless diamond star.

When lit, Gotham's Christmas officially begins.

I can hardly wait, Batman.

[narrator] Suddenly, the felonious felon creates a super frost.

Ho-ho-ho.

Now, Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, away.

[narrator] Moments later, as Freeze's frost thaws…

Holy icicles, Batman. It was Mr. Freeze, and he's got the diamond star.

Let's go, Robin.

- Hover jets. - Check.

I'll freeze those jets.

- What's up, Batman? - We're grounded.

Look there. Mr. Freeze can't freak out those bushy-tailed fellows.

[Batman] Good thinking, chum.

[dogs barking]

The Dynamic Duo's dog team's gaining on us, Mr. Freeze.

[laughs]

I have a special Christmas gift for those canines, Icy.

Candy hot dogs.

Come on. Mush.

No good. Those pooches prefer candy to mush.

Christmas just won't be Christmas without the diamond star.

You'll just have to get it back, Dynamic Duo.

We won't let the kids of Gotham down. Right, Robin?

- Right. - Let's go.

The town seems full of Santas.

Yeah. And anyone of those Kriss Kringles could be Mr. Freeze.

[narrator] Suddenly, near Stacy's store window

where a priceless golden Yule tree glitters,

a little boy approaches a curbside Santa.

[stammers] Santa, I want a— Brr.

Look at that. That Santa must be—

Mr. Freeze. Come on.

Ah! The Dynamic Duo. I'll stop them cold.

Ha, ha! A holiday ice sculpture.

Now to give Stacy's window a shot of absolute zero.

Quickly, load that lovely Yule yew, my elves.

Ho-ho-ho.

[narrator] Later, as a sad, silent snow falls,

the Dynamic Duo are back in Commissioner Gordon's office.

This is terrible. Not only is the diamond star in Freeze's cold clutches,

but now he has the golden tree as well.

Gosh, this is really gonna be Gotham's gloomiest Yuletide.

Hmm. Yes. Unless…

Unless Mr. Freeze likes gingerbread.

[narrator] What can Batman have in mind for Mr. Freeze?

Ho-ho-ho.

What lovely, shiny goodies.

And there you see the solid silver and gold bells

which will ring in the Yuletide on Christmas morn

from the bell tower of Gotham Park's gingerbread house.

Gotham City doesn't know it,

but it's just donated another Christmas goody to Mr. Freeze.

Get ready, Robin. Mr. Freeze is coming to take the bait.

This was too easy.

Hang on, chum.

Freeze will take us right to his hideout.

Can it be?

It is. The Dynamic Duo.

[Batman] Careful, Robin. He's seen us.

Swing, Robin, swing.

Stop, Mr. Freeze. The copter's overloading with ice.

- You okay, chum? - Uh-huh.

You infernal Caped Crusaders.

I'll reduce you to absolute zeros.

[Batman] This way, Robin.

Keep moving, Robin.

Up here, Robin.

Get set to upend this chute, chum.

- Now, Batman? - Now, Robin. Shove.

Whoa! No! No!

[roars]

Merry Christmas, Commissioner Gordon.

Some Christmas gifts for you, sir.

[Batman] There's the diamond star.

And the golden tree is back in Stacy's window too.

Now Gotham City will have a happy holiday after all.

Merry Christmas.

Bah, humbug.

[theme music playing]