Original subtitles

[announcer] The Adventures of Batman with Robin, Boy Wonder.

Batman and Robin, Dynamic Duo against crime and corruption,

whose real identities as millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne

and his young ward, Dick Grayson,

are known only to Alfred, the faithful butler.

Ever alert, they respond swiftly to a signal from the police.

And moments later, from the secret Batcave deep beneath Wayne Manor,

they roar out to protect life, limb and property

as Batman and Robin, caped crime fighters.

Batman and Robin, scourge of Gotham City's kooky criminals:

The Joker, Clown Prince of Crime.

The Penguin, pudgy purveyor of perfidy.

And the cool, cruel Mr. Freeze.

Watch out, villains, here come Batman and Robin.

[narrator] The world's most impregnable bank vault

on the 39th floor of the Gotham Building,

with concrete walls, 7 and one half feet thick,

and a security system that is turned off once a day for exactly 32 seconds,

while a new combination is installed on the vault.

Now, at the precise moment,

the world's most impregnable bank vault is sucked dry with two seconds to spare.

And who is responsible?

The Penguin.

[laughing]

[Batman] Fantastic.

[Robin] Unbelievable.

[Gordon] But there it is, Dynamic Duo.

The perfect crime.

Executed with uncanny precision timing.

I gotta say, whoever did this is a real pro.

Could it be The Joker?

- Negative. - Not The Riddler either.

So that leaves—

- The Penguin. Yes, it's got his style, but— - But what, Batman?

He's got to owe the diabolically ingenious structure of this crime to someone else.

[narrator] Meanwhile, in an isolated marshy area,

several miles from Gotham City…

[Penguin] It worked perfectly. Ha, ha!

- [computer] Of course it did. - Thank you.

[computer] You're welcome.

Who's talking in here while I'm concentrating on my work?

[computer] I am.

Well, be quiet.

Who are you?

[computer] He is The Penguin.

- I thought I told you to be quiet. - [computer] Sorry.

- I am The Penguin. The computer was right. - Of course the computer was right.

- It's always right. - [computer] Thank you.

- Will you shut up? - [computer] Sorry.

Oh, yes, I remember you now.

You've been testing some of my inventions.

And what little goodie have you cooked up today?

[Billingsley] This electromagnetic ray.

It works beautifully.

An electromagnetic ray. Ha, ha!

Great. Oh, computer.

Plan and program a robbery utilizing your electromagnetic ray.

And include all Batman countermeasures.

[computer] Order acknowledged.

Not enough information for the Batcomputer to be of help, I'm afraid.

Guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens next, Batman.

[narrator] Well, Caped Crusaders, you don't have long to wait,

for at this moment, another Penguin caper takes place.

[laughing]

Robbery! Robbery!

Help!

Batman, armored car on Highway 90.

We're on our way, commissioner. Come on, Robin, to the Batmobile.

The Dynamic Duo. Excellent. Ha, ha!

The Penguin.

- Well, I'll be— - How about that?

Quick, the Batapult.

[laughing]

That should decoy the Dynamic Dodos.

Elevation 67 degrees. Blast off.

Got you.

[Batman] Now, Mr. Peng—

- Great guns. - Holy robots, Batman.

We've been had.

[narrator] Now, on the other side of town, the real Penguin is playing it safe.

We must find out who or what is behind The Penguin's scientific crime binge.

According to the Batcomputer, The Penguin is using a computer.

Old buddy, we're going to have to set a trap, not for Penguin, but for his computer.

Aha. So Batman is bringing all his Batcomputer tapes and cards

to police headquarters for a lecture tomorrow.

Computer, what could you do with all of Batman's computer records?

[computer] Yummy, there is nothing I could not do.

[narrator] The next day, at the lecture hall in police headquarters…

[Penguin] A little smoke screen to make them blind,

and radar goggles to let me see.

[laughing]

In here is my complete Batcomputer crime file.

With this, my Batcomputer can track down—

[coughing]

And without it, you're helpless.

[Penguin laughing]

[Batman coughing]

[Batman] I can't see.

[Robin] Smoke.

So far, so good.

Now everything his crime computer tells him

will also show up on our Batcomputer.

[computer] Danger. Danger.

You have been tricked by a microcircuit punch card.

Switch to channel X.

- What happened? - [Batman] A circuit change, I guess.

Now watch carefully for important information.

Check.

Excellent. Excellent.

Now feed them information which will lead them to the sulfur pits,

and their doom. Ha, ha!

[computer] Wilco.

[narrator] Several hours later,

not realizing they are following false information,

the Caped Crusaders land the Batcopter on the isolated marshlands, and then…

[Batman coughing]

[Batman] Sulfur pits.

We've been tricked.

Got to get out of here.

Sorry, can't make it.

[narrator] Has the Dynamic Duo at last been conquered by The Penguin?

Stay tuned for part two of "The Crime Computer,"

coming up next.

[narrator] The Penguin, foul, fiendish felon

has moved in on Professor Willingham Billingsley,

a scientific genius whose computer has led Batman and Robin

on a wild Penguin chase, to what appears to be their doom.

But what's this monstrous thing?

A prehistoric insect?

It's a Professor Billingsley invention.

[coughing]

Oh, dear me. This will never do.

All I want to know is, why did you save them?

With these two around, this is dangerous. They must be eliminated.

No, no, no, Mr. Parrot. I—

Penguin! Penguin!

[Billingsley] Oh, yes.

I'm going to program my computer with their brain waves.

Then when the computer knows everything they know,

it can predict every thought that will enter their heads.

No. I say do away with them instantly.

[Billingsley] Nonsense.

This is the ultimate experiment.

Man versus the machine.

Now, go away.

Whatever you say.

[machine powering up]

Done. Release them on the marshes.

Give them a 15 minute start, then have your men hunt them down.

The computer will tell you their every move.

They don't stand a chance.

Are you all right, Robin?

I feel a little strange. Come on.

Let's find the Batcopter.

The computer says they will head for sector 104.

Hunting party number one, close in.

Roger. We're ready. Out.

MAN 1: Hey, wait— MAN 2: Look out!

[thud]

Hey!

[Robin] Here, Batman, quick.

[Penguin over radio] Computer just advised you will be ambushed

from a tree behind you.

Roger. Out.

So that's it.

The Penguin's punks are hunting us by computer.

It's a game.

A deadly game, Robin.

Computer advises Batman now has a communicator.

All future orders will be given by flare signal. Ha, ha!

Too bad, Batman.

Holy accuracy.

That computer's right on the button.

Yes. I'm afraid we're in for the battle of our lives.

[narrator] Meanwhile, at stately Wayne Manor,

Alfred, their loyal butler, is worried.

If I only knew where they are.

Oh. Perhaps the Batcomputer can help me.

[laughing]

Marvelous.

The Cowled Kooks are heading right for the crocodile's lair. Ha, ha.

Looks like a pathway over here, Batman.

[roaring]

Batman, help.

Batman, duck.

Bees! Aah!

Come, Robin. Time for us to attack.

[narrator] Meanwhile, back in the Batcave…

The marshlands.

Said to be secret laboratory of Dr. Willingham Billingsley.

Hmm. They just might need me.

To the Batboat.

[computer] Dynamic Duo will next attempt to infiltrate this laboratory.

Here? Will they succeed?

Why not ask us in person, Penguin?

[computer] The answer is yes.

Oh, shut up.

It's all over, Pengy.

It works. By gum, it works.

On to other things.

Wait. Don't turn it off, you ninny.

Just one push, and over you go to your doom. Ha, ha!

Oh, boy, we sure could use some help now.

Batman, Robin, where are you?

Now you've got us, Penguin, don't you want to unmask us?

You clever creep.

You want me to come close enough so you could grab me.

[computer] Ask me.

Batman's identity is recorded in my memory bank.

Marvelous.

Who is Batman?

[computer stammering] Batman's identity is B—

I have been tricked with a self-destruct card.

No, no, not my baby.

My life's work.

It's going to explode.

Must get out of here.

[computer] Two plus two is 22.

The sum of the four sides of a triangle is C-A-T.

[Batman] It's too late, professor. Come on. Hurry.

[computer] I— I'm finished.

So you see, professor, we planted that secret card

hoping The Penguin would ask the computer our secret identities.

And that would make the computer destroy itself.

Brilliant. Brilliant.

Ha, ha. Look down there.

Ha, ha. That Alfred. He never fails to amaze me.

[Batman & Robin laughing]

[narrator] The annual Gotham City Halloween ball,

where a valuable painting is to be auctioned for charity.

But what's this?

Batman and Robin socializing with the Scarecrow,

a known criminal?

[laughing]

[Robin] Holy masquerade. It's Commissioner Gordon.

I didn't mean to startle you two,

but the costume service delivered this scarecrow outfit by mistake.

For a minute there I thought the Scarecrow had come to steal the painting.

[inaudible dialogue]

Excuse me, gentlemen, I must take a phone call.

[narrator] Quietly, Batgirl, alias Barbara Gordon, follows her father.

And a lucky thing too.

Let go, you scoundrels.

[Batgirl] You heard the commissioner.

[laughs]

Take this bat filly to the car.

I have plans for her.

Stuff this top cop in a closet

while I masquerade as the top cop masquerading as me.

Ladies and gents, we are here in the name of the noblest of all sentiments, charity.

Behold this invaluable painting…

He's really great with that Scarecrow act.

Even got the voice down pat.

—Of that humble man, the farmer, tiller of the soil.

Yes, he's almost too good.

If I didn't know…

Going, going, gone.

The painting goes to my favorite charity,

me, the Scarecrow.

Hit the deck, Robin.

And when Batgirl came to my aid, that scurrilous Scarecrow gassed her.

- They took her as a hostage. - That could be a break.

Remember, she has a radio transmitter in her belt.

[Scarecrow] Bet you'd like to use this to contact your friend Batman.

All right, I have a message for you to give him.

It will send the Caped Clod on a wild-goose chase

while I rob the Farmer's Market.

Here comes a message on Batgirl's frequency.

[dings]

[Robin] Fur warehouse.

- Let's go. - [Batman] No, wait.

Some of those letters were sent at a slower speed than the others. Watch.

[dings]

That gives us "farm store at midnight."

Now let's go.

Come on, men, let's harvest the lettuce.

[laughs]

[men shouting indistinctly]

Have some fruit salad.

When I say go, rush them.

Holy avalanche.

Duck, quick.

[laughing]

Let's scamper, men.

Now we'll never find Batgirl.

My hunch says she's tucked away in a country retreat.

We'll need the Batcopter.

Come on.

[narrator] Meanwhile, Batgirl has plans of her own.

High in the eaves of the hideaway barn,

Batgirl has discovered a perfect ally, a bat.

Get them, Batman!

[bat screeching]

[men yell]

Get her!

[Robin] Look, Batman.

[Batman] Batgirl flagged the hideout for us.

[alarm ringing]

That's the electric eye alarm.

The Caped Crusaders.

Ready the net.

Maybe we've got the wrong place.

Watch it, Robin.

These fellows seem hot under the collar, Batman.

Much obliged, chum.

Gotcha, Boy Blunder.

- Thanks, Batman. - Come on, Robin needs help.

Here, Batman.

[sizzling]

Oh, Batman.

Ha, ha! Thanks, Batgirl.

I couldn't have done better myself.

Oh, Batman, I'm so sorry. And look what they're doing to Robin.

When I say you'll get a threshing,

I don't mean a spanking. Ha-ha-ha!

[narrator] Meanwhile, the ingenious Caped Crusader

is building a contraption of his own

from odds and ends of junk left in this old storeroom.

Now, Batgirl, cut me a thick band from that inner tube. Hurry.

[Batgirl] Will it work, Batman?

It's got to. We've only got one shot.

Get them! Cut them down!

[Robin] He's getting away.

Oh, no, he's not.

Great shot, Batman.

- Should we take him down, Batman? - I don't know.

Since this is a corn field, maybe he's finally found his true calling…

scaring crows.

[all laughing]

[theme music playing]