Original subtitles

- There were gladiators and re-enacted sea battles here

Until the 5th century!

- Hmm.

- So should we go see the forum now?

- Oh, you know, actually, I could use a little break, marie.

- But it's right over there.

- I know, and I really want to go see it, but...

- But if we don't stick to my schedule, we won't see it.

And we did stop for your other thing before.

- My other thing before? What do you mean, the bathroom?

- 40 minutes.

- First of all, you're timing me now?

And second of all, I do not take 40 minutes!

- Yes, dear, but when you go, everyone else has to go.

- Okay, you know, marie,

It's just that I need a little time to myself, that's all.

I mean, we have been doing

Everything you've wanted to do, right?

- Are you saying that you feel obligated

Because I'm paying for this trip?

'cause that's not what I want.

- No, of course not. And I am really grateful.

- Really?

[laughs]

- Ray...

- No comment.

- Ray, say something.

- I said something. No comment. - Ray...

- What, you want me to say something?

I'll say something. This is what you get.

Okay? 'cause I told you that it was gonna get like this.

But can you ever listen to me, huh?

No, no, no, I'm just dumb ray who likes new jersey.

You know, I wish I was in new jersey right now,

'cause I saw this coming, all right?

I just didn't think it would take so long...

Or I would get sick

From hot and then cold and then hot and then cold

Or get a mama leoni hand-wash or have to sleep with my father!

- Oh, why don't you stuff it, ray?

Your parents are fine compared to you!

- Me? Me? What? What the hell did I do?

- At least they're trying to have a good time!

You've been nothing but a grumpy

Pain in the ass the whole trip.

- Don't fight here. It's the colosseum.

- I'm a pain in the ass? I'm a pain in the ass?

Fine! I will not be a pain in anyone's ass anymore!

- And I'm not sleeping with you anymore!

What are you looking at?

- Hey, what's your problem?

- Nothing, nothing, I'm just-- just ready to go home.

That's all.

- Oh.

You got more listerine?

- I told you to wear a hat.

Why can't you listen to me?

- All right, enough! I'm fine!

- You're fine? You look like the top of a police car!

Put some cream on that. - No!

- Frank, you put some cream on that head right now.

You're gonna be in pain later.

- I've been in pain since the wedding!

- He refuses to accept the fact that he has no hair.

Oh.

What? What's the matter, dear?

- Oh, eh, eh.

- Oh, I know what it is.

It's debra.

- Ma, please.

- You know what you and I need?

A nice long walk.

That would be so wonderful, wouldn't it?

- Hey, ma...

Do you know if we have any mob connections here in town,

Because I might need a little help.

- What's the matter, dear?

You look so terrible. Tuck in your shirt.

- No, I'm fine, ma.

It's just that stefania's father wasn't too thrilled

To, uh, find me with his daughter.

- What? - Now, he's having a vacation.

- This is wild, isn't it?

I went out the window when pops went to get a shovel.

- Congratulations. Stefania fogagnolo.

- Oh, thanks, there, giorgio.

- Signore fogagnolo, he will kill you.

- You better stay away from that girl, robbie!

- Yeah, right.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.

Hey, ray, you want to go get a gelato?

- I'm not going there with that father.

- Come on. - No, get out of here.

He'll use me to beat you to death.

- Come on, look, hey,

Maybe he'll chase us with the shovel, huh?

Come on. Fratello mio, e' cosi' buono--

- Get off me, you nut. I'm not going there.

- Hey, hey, hey!

You got to wake up, here, little bro!

Look where you are, man! You're missing it!

[singing] la donna mobile, qual piu ma vento

- I've never seen him like this, so happy.

I don't like it.

- Hi, daddy.

- Hey, what did you do, feed the ducks or something?

- You want to feed them with us tomorrow?

- Yeah, maybe. I don't know. We'll see.

- Yeah, yeah, daddy's very busy, you guys.

He really doesn't have time for fun this trip.

He has a lot of moping to do, which is quite time consuming.

- All right, give me a break, please.

- Why don't you give me a break, huh?

I thought that this could be

A time for all of us to be together!

- All right, listen, I can't do this right now,

Because I just promised my mother we'd take a walk.

- That's true, dear.

- Have a nice time.

- I'm so glad we could do this, raymond.

You really seem to need it.

- Need what?

- This, just the two of us walking and talking.

You know, we never get a chance to talk.

- We don't? - No, not like this.

We rarely get a chance to just talk--

No interruptions, distractions, deb--

Anyway, first of all,

I'm feeling a little bit upset about something.

- That water is kind of nice, huh?

- It's beautiful.

I'm feeling that everyone else seems to think

That they have the right to do

Just exactly what they want on this trip.

- And they don't?

- Well, they do. Of course they do.

But they could at least consult with me first...

I know, I know, he's your father.

Between you and me, I can't take it anymore.

- He seemed to be having a good time.

- What, this morning? That's finished.

I had the nerve to tell him to wear a hat...

I begged him 50 times,

"please, please, get someone to fix the garage door."

You know what he says? "I can do it myself."

And, of course, you know what happens.

He doesn't do it. Ha, it's been three months.

Anybody could get into that garage if they wanted.

Oh, please.

What are you stopping for?

- Nothing, no, I just never seen them like this before, huh?

Pretty.

You see the way they wrap them? You look at these?

- I've seen flowers.

My point is, I can't talk to him...

Ooh, there's a butcher shop, honey.

I got to run in there, see,

And get some meat for the barbecue later.

You want to come in with me?

- No, no, no. Go, go ahead.

- All right, I'll be right back.

And don't forget what we were talking about.

- Okay.

[boys speaking italian]

Here, you guys.

[boy speaking italian]

You want it with the foot? Okay.

Oh. What, I'm in it? Here, there you go.

You want to--want to play a little game, huh?

[laughs] I'll pass it. There you go.

You guys are good at this. I don't play this.

[boy speaking italian] yeah.

- Alessandro! Luca!

- Grazie. Arrivederci. - Ciao.

- Okay.

- Ciao. Ciao.

- Hey, ciao. Yeah. Ha.

Hey.

Pizza. - Yes, pizza.

- Okay, give me one. Can I get one?

- Here. - Yeah. Thank you.

Wow.

- It's okay?

- Yeah, yeah.

I had a cold, but it's--it's gone now.

This is awesome.

- Hmm?

- "awesome," "awesome." you know "awesome"?

Uh, magnifico.

- Oh, grazie.

- Prego.

Oh, this is, like, the best pizza I ever had, man!

- You like more?

- Hell, yes, I want more!

You made this?

- I make, yes.

- So you're, like, a genius, then.

- Oh, all done. [chuckles]

Oh, I've got some chops for later.

What-- you're having pizza now?

- Yeah, uh-huh.

- Will you be able to eat your lunch?

- Yeah, sure. You want a bite?

- No, no, no. - Oh, good.

- Come on. - All right.

- Come on. Let's go up this way.

[laughs] I forgot what I was saying.

- How you can't talk to anyone but me.

- Oh, yes, right.

Because, I mean, nobody values communicating anymore.

To me, that's the most important thing.

Don't you agree with me? - Mmm-hmm. Absolutely.

- Oh, raymond, this is so nice.

Did I tell you the other thing your father did?

- No, go ahead.

- Well, I had forbid him to use my cutting board...

- Hello, dear. - Hey, marie.

- Have you seen raymond? Where is he?

- Don't know and don't care.

He's been a drip this entire vacation.

I've decided I'm not gonna let him ruin it for me.

- I had a lovely walk with him this morning.

- It's so nice that you two have each other.

Ugh, stupid, stinking hump!

[laughter]

You like that? I got a million of them.

- Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

[muffled] signore fogagnolo.

Come va?

- You don't see my daughter no more.

- Oh. [clears throat]

You know, sir, if I may--

Here--here, look, let's sit down, huh?

Please. Please. Can we--can we sit down?

Per favore, huh?

Let's sit. Grazie.

Mille grazie, huh?

[clears throat]

Signore fogagnolo...

- Ah, your mother's ass!

- I don't like you.

[bicycle bell dings]

- Ciao, tutti! - Hi, daddy!

- Ciao! Hello, everybody!

Beautiful day, huh?

Oh! Look what I have.

Signora, bellisima.

For you. You can have those.

Here, you can have one of those.

Beautiful. See how they wrap them?

Mom...

And aunt coletta!

These are for you.

- [laughs] what are you doing?

- You look good. Come here. I want to talk to you.

- What? - Come here, come here.

Listen...

Um, I know you wanted to talk to me before,

And I know what you were gonna say.

- No, you don't.

- Whatever you were gonna say, you were right.

I was wrong, and you were right.

And I'm not just saying that

So we don't have to talk about it anymore like at home.

It's just--there's something about this place.

Do you get that?

There's, like, a feeling here.

I don't know how to describe it,

But it's more...Simple.

The way the whole place shuts down

In the middle of the day

So the people can just, you know, enjoy the day?

It's like they know how to live here, don't you think?

Don't you think it's kind of beautiful here?

- Yes...

- Okay, so we agree.

And the history--

I was thinking-- thousands of years here.

We got no history at home.

Everything was built last week.

- Where have you been?

- Oh, I had a bike ride. - No, I--

Not today. I mean this whole trip.

- Okay, so what do you want me to say?

Your hair does look nice, though.

- So now you're being romantic?

- Look, I don't know what I'm being,

But we got a couple of days left.

You want to enjoy it, or you want to mope around?

- Okay, I think that's everything.

- [laughs] oh, god.

Look at this. - [laughing]

- What are you rebelling against?

- What do you got?

- Yeah, you see? They rode one.

- That was fun.

- Yeah, I got to get one of these.

All right, fun's over, here.

Time to go home.

Thanks for everything, there, giorgio.

- Arrivederci, colletta...

- Bene, bene. - Bene.

- Ah.

- Bella.

- Bye-bye.

Listen, anytime you want to come to america and give me a shower,

It's fine with me.

Giorgio, I'll see you, okay?

No, nothing, it's-- ah, it's just--

- Hey, where's robert?

- Oh, roberto.

- Oh, boy, stefania.

- Must you be leaving so soon?

- Yes. Yes, I must.

- I will miss you.

- Me too.

Maybe you can come and visit me in america sometime.

Bring your father along for laughs.

- Here, for you.

- You don't have to pay me.

- You throw a coin in the water.

It means some day you return to lago di bracciano.

You would like that?

- Would I like that?

- Aspetta, aspetta.

Cosi.

Si, cosi.

Bravo.

[laughing]

- My credit cards...

And traveler's checks.

- [laughing] roberto.

- [sighs]

- Okay, all right, everybody. I'm sorry, mi dispiace.

Aunt colletta, mille grazie, huh?

- Ciao, ciao.

- Thank you, okay.

- Hey, did you say good-bye to gelato lollobrigida?

- All right, dad.

- Grazie!

- Si, si. - Grazie, grazie, grazie.

- [singing] che la luna mezzo mare mama mia me maritari

- Figghia mia, a cu te dari mamma mia pensaci tu

O mamma, piscia fritta baccala

O mamma, piscia fritta baccala

Che la luna mezzo mare mamma mia me maritari

- Che la luna mezzo mare mamma mia me maritari

Figghia mia, a cu te dari mamma mia pensaci tu

O mamma--

- Sir, could you please keep it down?

Some of the other passengers are starting to complain.

- Oh. Oh, sorry.

[singing quietly] cella luna mezzo mare

Mamma mia me maritari

Figghia mia, a cu te dari mamma mia pensaci tu