Original subtitles

♪♪

♪♪

Jeff: Life finds a way.

Like a cluster of methanogens

beneath the frigid Mars surface,

a group of like-minded individuals

had found each other

in the shadow of the corporate monolith.

Weaving a collective morality in secret

from the blueprints

of long-dead visionary modernists.

They were Mars.ly's intellectual vanguard,

a coalition of scientists,

engineers, academics, poets.

They called themselves The Buckys.

[ Group grunting ]

♪♪

[ Grunting continues ]

Woof! Woof! Woof!

We must let what we love drive us,

while remembering it's the river, and not the boat,

that will take us there.

Their mission was simple --

get back to the original dream of Mars,

the one that had been corrupted by Mars.ly.

One day soon they would strike out

to create a better life on this big red earth

in a colony of their own.

One built to fill the human soul

and not the coffers of Mars.ly shareholders.

A beacon for future generations.

It's a misnomer that rice with a husk

provides additional nutrition.

Humans have been ridding their grains of these unsavory rinds

since the Huns squatted in huts.

That is, until a few Californians

declared themselves nutritionists --

Okay, okay. Jesus, Hubert!

Alright, who wants brown rice?

White?

Within this shared sense of purpose, I found belonging.

Also power.

An individual within the whole.

And so it was.

The husk shall be cast off forevermore!

But most importantly, I found her.

♪♪

Wait, wait, wait. The scientist?

I thought she dumped you.

Right, right, yeah, she did, but...

And what's all this "individual within the whole" stuff?

Isn't it just you and Sluggo moving rocks

and catching rats and shit?

Y-Yeah, yeah, it's that.

But, um, I dunno.

I guess it just feels good to finally have some purpose.

Not that answering Reagan's e-mails isn't important. It is.

It -- It is.

Jax: I'm glad you're happy.

Just don't forget about your old friends, okay?

[ Cellphone dings ]

Jeff: Right.

Yeah. Got it.

Wouldn't -- Would not think of it.

[ Clears throat ]

Whoa! Nice!

Yeah.

Hey, listen, let's table that.

I gotta get going.

But, um, great work here today and -- Real quick,

I'm doing my annual cheat day Thursday --

Grimaldi's cooking up a 50,000-calorie belly buster.

Gonna be epic.

I'm thinking I could reserve us a sky bubble.

Do that shit up right.

Ohh... that sounds amazing, but...

I...

I...

I will be there.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

♪♪

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

[ Laughing ]

♪♪

[ Music ends ] Hey, Sluggo?

How much for a private dance?

Real funny, Martin. [ Scoffs ]

How 'bout I bust ya head?

That's funny. [ Laughs ]

So bad news.

I gotta borrow your assistant.

Indefinitely.

[ Whispering ] Really? You sure?

[ Whispering ] Yeah, totally.

[ Normal voice ] Well, uh, Mr. Buchinsky... [ Door closes ]

...I guess this is it then.

It's been an honor, sir.

[ Grunts ]

Oh, wow.

Thank you.

You've paid me more respect than everyone else

in this colony combined.

You ever need anything, I'm your man.

Ya got me?

Yes, sir. I got ya.

You sure Sluggo's gonna be okay without me?

The truth of the matter, Jeff,

is, we didn't put you out there to assist Slugs.

Nope, we just needed a fresh body to suck up

all that radiation so Crystal could study the effects.

A--About that...

How much are we talking exactly?

Well, your teeth glow in the dark, so what do you think?

But I wouldn't sweat it.

If you live long enough to die of radiation,

it'll be a miracle.

We got other shit to worry about,

like what are we gonna eat when we all run out

of those freeze-dried bananas? [ Chirping ]

What's that sound?

[ Gasping ]

[ Electricity buzzes ]

[ Spitting ]

Meet the official self-replenishing protein

of the future Bucky colony.

Your job is to feed them twice a day.

Red button's right here.

You know how to work these things, right?

[ Buzzer, whirring ]

And don't feed 'em too much, okay?

'Cause they'll swarm and go crazy.

Any questions?

Actually, yeah. I don't know

if this is gonna be the right job --

[ Gasps, spits ]

And, uh, next time, don't forget your face shield.

As you may have heard, an unusual methane spike

has been detected in the northern hemisphere's

16th hecto-quadrant.

As Mars.ly's chief biologist,

of course I'll be investigating.

Finally discovering life on Mars?

Perhaps.

But more importantly...

it's the perfect cover finally to investigate

the proposed site for our new colony.

[ Group murmuring ] Huzzah!

You all know how incredibly rare this opportunity is.

If we find water, we could leave Mars.ly

in as little as three weeks.

We leave first thing tomorrow.

We've got a tight timeline, so we'll need a tight crew.

Martin, you're tech lead.

Don and Judith, you're running drill.

Crystal, you're on soil analysis.

And, young Jeffrey...

you've shown a good deal of spunk in your short tenure.

We'll need an extra pair of hands,

and I'd like you to join.

Martin: That's a cool idea, Sheila,

but Jeff's actually on grasshopper duty, so...

Anyone can push a button to feed the grasshopper.

I'm confident you'll find someone great

to fill in for him.

Okay, everyone.

Remember, keep a low profile.

This is just an ordinary scientific expedition

because if Mars.ly finds out otherwise...

then, well, you all know what happens.

♪♪

[ Alarm clock beeping ]

[ Beeping stops ]

♪♪

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

Sorry! Sorry.

No problemo. [ Chuckles ]

C'mon!

♪♪

[ Panting ]

[ Thud ]

[ Gasps ] Oh.

Hey, Brandon. You scared me.

I heard you were going on a trip today.

Oh, y'know, just a run-of- the-mill science-gathering

science-gathering science expedition.

A little suspicious they'd take a guy

like you on a science trip.

Well...

Don't get me wrong. I love science.

I just think the next creative director of Marsiversary

might have more important business to attend to.

Whoa, wait. Me?

That's right.

Whoa. Wow.

I-I mean, Jeff Cooper,

Creative Director.

Whew.

But what about Midori Yamamoto?

[ Breathes sharply ] Ooh.

Well, she was en route, and she missed...

Mars.

Well, is she dead?

Let's just say she'll be giving notes remotely...

for a time.

We still have a pretty reliable signal, but, uh...

you know, she's a real great person.

Anyway, I hope you like offices

'cause you're about to have one.

Well...I'm not sure if, uh, that's gonna --

[ Cellphone rings ] Oh, that's Midori right now.

You'll never guess who I'm standing next to.

Okay, am I on speaker?

[ Midori speaking indistinctly ]

I'm sorry. That's not how I see it.

Well, there are some very good people on both sides.

Please take me off speaker.

Take. Me. Off. Speak--

[ Weapon fires, screaming ]

♪♪

Hm. Thought you might be calling in sick.

Me? Naw.

Remember, this ain't exactly my, uh...

my first rodeo out there on the surface.

Mmm...this is gonna be a little different

than you and Slugs playing grab-ass in front of the colony.

Any screw-ups, and you can't run wee, wee, wee back inside.

Alright?

♪♪

Hey.

Oh, hey.

Uh, everything okay?

Uh, ha, yeah.

Me and Sluggo

just give the little fellow a rub for good luck,

you know, before we go out there.

It looks like some kind of serial killer shrine.

Ha ha. No, no.

Sluggo, he's got a heart of gold.

I mean, sure, he'll dry-gulch you every now and again, but --

[ Static hisses ] Judith: Alright, everybody!

Let's get this show on the road.

That's our cue.

Where are you going?

Port B, right?

That's class one vehicles and foot traffic, soldier.

You're in the big leagues now.

♪♪

♪♪

This is us.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

Beautiful day for it.

Morning, Don.

Good morning, Franklin!

Don: Lovely to see you, Sheila.

Good morning, sir.

Jeff Cooper. I'm new --

[ Alarm blaring ]

♪♪

♪ Holding you closer in my arms, we drift to heaven ♪

♪ Bringing in the morning light ♪

♪ And after all is said and done, there's only us ♪

♪ We can make it right ♪

♪ So ♪

♪ Our love will carry on and on ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ Our love will be free ♪

♪ Be free ♪

What are you working on there?

A new résumé?

What are we up to now -- version 100.0?

[ Chuckles ] That's very funny, Martin.

I'm actually appreciating the world around me.

You should try it some time.

Yeah, it's like, you see this stuff, and you wonder,

"Why are you here?" Yes!

Exactly! No, dude.

Why are you here?

Why are you on this trip?

Aw, come on, Martin. You don't mean that.

No, I do, actually.

You should put that in your journal.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Wind blowing ]

Our algorithms suggest that this could be

the fertile crescent of Mars.

A vein of ice as wide as the entire valley

just 10 or so yards beneath our feet.

What do ya think?

It's, uh...

It's, uh...

nice, I guess.

If we're lucky, this'll be your new home, sport.

Martin: For all of eternity.

You will live and die right there.

♪♪

♪♪

Alright. Marty?

Check. Crystal?

Check.

-Jeff? -Yes, check.

Okay, drop it.

Dropping!

1.5 meters.

Tell me something good.

Nothing yet.

Sheila: Ommmm.

♪♪

Ommmm.

♪♪

You know, my ex does a lot of yoga.

Yeah, like, a lot.

Oh. [ Chuckles ] You heard me.

I didn't realize my radio was on. Sorry.

No, no, I-I-I get it.

I -- It's -- I liked it.

[ Chuckles ]

I feel more myself out here.

[ Wind gusting ]

How are we doing?

Nothing yet.

There's a dust storm about half an hour away.

I-I think we've got time for one more shot.

Let's find our next site.

[ Wind gusting ]

Martin: Oh, no. Guys, this -- this is a bad idea.

Uh, huh, yeah, it does look pretty dangerous.

Martin: Great. Divining rods.

Or maybe we should ask a fucking leprechaun where the ice is.

I'm not above asking the sprites for guidance.

It's now or never for our mission.

You know that, Martin.

We're gonna die!

Don: We die out here, or we die back there.

You are not in charge, Martin.

Now get the drill.

♪♪

[ Breathes deeply ]

♪♪

[ Rods click ]

Get the rig!

♪♪

[ Drill whirring ]

7 meters.

Crystal: I've got nothing.

Martin: We need to go! Now!

I've got nothing. I've got nothing.

[ Thunder crashes ] We've gotta get out of here!

Yes! Everybody!

Listen to Judith!

[ Device beeping ] Wait a second. Wait.

Traces of hydrogen.

There's ice.

There's ice!

♪♪

Jesus cocksucking Christ.

We did it.

We goddamn did it!

[ Thunder crashing ]

♪♪

[ Thunder crashes ]

We don't have time! C'mon!

We gotta move.

♪♪

[ Engine starts ]

♪♪

[ Wind gusting ]

Look, in case this is it,

I wanted to say I never really had a family.

And just, you guys actually mean a lot to me.

Even you, Jeff.

Even you.

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪♪

Martin: Go over there! Over there!

♪♪

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Grunts ] Jesus!

Holy shit!

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Alarm beeping ]

Martin: Go for the edge of the canyon!

♪♪

[ Over radio ] Can you hear me?

Come in!

♪♪

Jeff: Sheila!

Okay, follow me!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Holy shit!

Oh, dear.

What the fuck?!

What is this?

I don't recognize these suits.

Maybe they're from the first MEU...

on some failed secret mission.

Or maybe they're rebels like us...

stranded by a dust storm while searching for a new home.

Well, it's fine.

We'll just wait it out, right?

We find the rest of the team, we head home.

Right?

Right?

No. No, no.

Why don't you have a seat, Jeff?

Look, we got to make a plan.

Alright? That's what we do.

We make a plan. Then after we make a plan,

we find some sticks, right?

We find some bungee cords, find some --

[ Thunder crashes ]

Jeff, save your oxygen.

Now, didn't I see you had a sketchbook in there somewhere?

May I?

Very creative.

That's -- That's -- That's stupid.

That's from, like, 15 years ago.

Can I ask you a question, J-Money?

Don't you think these intrepid souls

deserve to be memorialized?

Uh, o-okay.

♪♪

You know, I actually died, too, once.

Like, for a while.

Oh, my.

That's quite profound.

You've been through something real.

Maybe that's what drew you to us.

♪♪

How are you so calm? You know?

I mean, this could be it.

This probably is it.

You know what I saw when I died the first time?

A fucking bog.

And some wizard.

My whole life.

And it all added up to nothing.

Nothing more than tears in the rain.

That's actually a quote from "Blade Runner."

I don't know if you've ever seen it.

You know, Jeff, I feign optimism,

pretending we'll still find life on Mars.

But after all these years, I'm confident we won't.

The planet's dead as a doornail.

A rock in a void.

But, you see, there is life.

Our time doesn't last forever.

But we move the baton

as far as we can.

We found the river, the coordinates are logged.

No matter what happens, that's done.

We better get some sleep.

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪♪

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Device beeping ]

♪♪

[ Wind gusting ]

♪♪

♪♪

Crystal: [ Over radio] Jeff!

Here!

♪♪

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

We were about to leave, but I just --

I knew you were alive.

Is Sheila? She's back there.

I'll get her. There's oxygen at the truck.

Hurry!

[ Device beeping ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversation ]

♪♪

Hey, Martin, did you really mean

what you said back there in the truck?

No. Okay.

That's okay.

Can you find someone else to walk next to, Jeff?

Yeah. Totally.

Totally.

Sheila: ♪ There was a ship sailed from the North Country ♪

♪ And the name of the ship was the Sweet Kumadee ♪

♪ She was built of the pine and the bay oak tree ♪

♪ And she sailed on the Lowlands, Lowlands ♪

C'mon, Jeff, you should know the words by now.

♪ And she sailed on the Lowlands Low ♪

Both: ♪ We hadna been a-sailin' a week but barely three ♪

♪ When the lookout man, he sighted a French gaudie ♪

Together: ♪ And he said, "We'll be a-sent ♪

♪ Tae the bottom of the sea" ♪

♪ As we sailed on the Lowlands, Lowlands ♪

♪ And she sailed on the Lowlands Low ♪

Hey, careful!

Here, let me help you up.

Sheila?

Hey, hey, Sheila?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Goodbye, Sheila.

I-I'm sorry.

You live among stars and the planets now.

[ Clears throat ]

Never in a million years would I have thought

that Sheila would be the one on that veritable funeral pyre

instead of me, the old sack of eggs that I am.

But Sheila knew better than anyone,

death is our next-door neighbor

up here on the God of War.

And now that we've found water and our time is nigh,

we'd be fools to think some of us

won't be joining her in martyrdom.

[ Cabinet door closes ]

But I've buried two wives.

You think I'm afraid of you, Mars?!

It's gonna take a hell of a lot more to stand me down,

you red-headed sonofabitch!

♪♪

♪♪

Don't ever forget --

There's Mars.ly, and then there's Mars.

Never get the two confused.

We must remember.

Always.

For Sheila.

[ Crying ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Galaxy ♪

♪ I'm the ruler of the galaxy ♪

♪ Galaxy ♪

♪ I'm the ruler of the galaxy ♪

♪ Planet ♪

♪ He's the ruler of the galaxy ♪

♪ Mars ♪

♪ He's the ruler... ♪