Original subtitles

(theme song playing)

(rumbling)

Raven: So, shouldn't we go ahead and take cinderblock down?

We can't. It's Monday.

-Monday? -As in...

Motorcycle Monday, baby!

Motorcycle Monday?

Robin says on mondays, we're only allowed to fight using motorcycles.

But he knows we do not possess such modes of transport.

So convenient, huh?

(engine roaring)

Ready for your bike beat down, cinderblock?

(beeps)

Wheel punch! Wheel punch!

(tires squealing)

-(roars) -(imitates revving)

Super wheel punch!

Ha, ha! Mondays.

Whoo! Ha, ha!

I just beat up a villain with a motorcycle.

A motorcycle!

Which by the way is the most awesome way to beat someone up.

Uh, it really wasn't that awesome.

Do I need to wheel punch some sense into you? Because it was!

Okay. You're awesome. We get it.

Not just awesome. I might be the greatest superhero ever.

Girls: So cool.

No, you're not.

-Excuse me? -No offense.

But how can you be the greatest superhero ever?

You don't even have an archenemy.

-So? -(beeps)

Archenemies are status symbols in the hero world.

If you can get a crazed lunatic to devote himself to bringing you down,

It means you're a top hero. If you can't...

Oh. I see.

Why doesn't anyone wanna kill me?

(bawling)

Oh, how I hate seeing you like this, robin.

Get used to it because without an archenemy, I'm a loser.

(sniffling)

-Just like all of you. -I will be your archenemy.

Only villains can be archenemies, star.

Then I will be a villain.

You can't become a villain by doing something nice.

Then becoming evil will be the last nice thing I do.

Then go ahead and prove it. Do something evil.

Very well. I will drink straight from the milk carton.

Ugh! I cannot do it. It is too evil.

Still, I starfire the terrible vow to wreak havoc on this world.

Until I see a smile on robin's face.

Robin deserves only the best archenemy ever, silkie.

So, there is much work to be done.

(crackling)

Now, I must work on my maniacal laugh.

(clears throat)

(giggles)

(gasps)

(clears throat)

(evil laugh)

(clears throat)

(gurgling)

Ooh! That intones the evil.

A great villain surrounds herself with dangerous henchmen.

Prove to me, my little bumgorf, you possess a cold heart.

(whirring)

(gasps) wonderful.

Every villain needs a secret lair.

From here I will plunge this world into its darkest days.

Ooh! And have tea parties.

(whirring)

Hey, star. Nice mask.

It is not supposed to be nice.

It is supposed to be menacing.

Oh. Well, it really brings out your eyes.

(grunts)

Are you ready to spend all your time and energy relentlessly pursuing me?

Only to be frustrated at every turn.

(chuckles) that sounds super creepy. I'd never do that.

(chuckles) no.

What if I did something to make you hate me?

There's nothing you could do to make me hate you.

I could destroy a year supply of your hair gel.

(stammers)

You'd have to be a real sicko to do something...

No!

Now will you let me be your arch nemesis?

I have no choice.

You've taken away the thing I value most in life.

Spiky hair.

Hurray! After lunch we will try to destroy each other.

(gasps)

(zapping)

-Titans! -(all gasp)

(game beeps)

Dude, what's with your hair?

(panting)

(grunts)

(yells)

Never mind that. My archenemy is on the loose.

You don't have an archenemy.

Wait. (chuckles) are you talking about starfire?

Starfire the terrible!

-(all laughing) -now, that's funny.

Come on, man. For real?

Sure, fine, go ahead. Laugh now.

(laughs) oh! Oh, we are laughing now, man.

(continues laughing) ah!

(zapping)

(eerie music playing)

-(crashing) -(cat yowling)

Greetings, former friends.

Oh, no. Robin, your evil archenemy is here.

-What are we gonna do? -(grunts)

Stand back! She's here for me.

Ooh! Protect us, robin.

You're our only hope. (giggling)

No one can protect you from what I am about to unleash on this world.

Let me guess.

You're gonna try to drink from the milk carton again?

(buzzes)

I bet she's gonna set the microwave clock to the wrong time.

(buzzes)

Or maybe she'll leave the water in the sink running.

Oh, no!

(buzzes)

No! I have rigged the moon to explode.

You're gonna blow up the moon? Right.

(beeping)

(dings)

(giggles)

(clears throat)

(gurgling)

(gulping)

Carton milk.

Did you just blow up the moon?

Don't you even care about the tides?

Why would you blow up the moon?

Because I know how much robin liked that moon.

Are you crazy, starfire? (elephant trumpet)

Yes. And evil, too.

Yep. Looks like someone has a pretty formidable archenemy after all.

(beeping)

Your reign of terror is over, starfire.

I see you have discovered my secret lair.

Uh, yeah, well, it's in our backyard.

So, not really that secret.

Well, you are too late to stop me.

I shall destroy you all!

(imitates beeping)

Titans, go!

Uh. Those are just cardboard boxes, robin.

-(yells) -those lasers are for real?

I thought they were just blinking lights!

(imitates beeping and giggles)

Deathbots? When did she have the time to build deathbots?

Let's get 'em.

(grunts)

(sound of knocking over bowling pins)

(roars)

You okay?

(both grunt)

Dudes, starfire really hooked this place up, huh?

(imitates beeps)

Wow. She's got piranhas, too.

I guess it's just you and me now.

Have you forgotten about my henchman?

(whirring)

(screams)

-(grunts) -(burps)

Hurray! I win!

I am afraid, I have to finish you now.

(panting) you can't.

Is this not what you wanted? A formidable archenemy?

I just wanted to feel accepted.

To be a real hero.

But robin, you are a real hero.

Well, can this real hero have one last request?

Hmm. I do not see why not.

What is this final wish?

Uh, I was wondering what day of the week it is?

Hmm. I believe it is the Monday.

You know what that means.

Wheel punch!

Ha, ha! Got you! In your face!

I beat my archenemy!

Greatest superhero ever!

-(engine roars) -(tires squeal)

Motorcycle Monday!